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Easy dinner ideas
Looking for ideas on easy, healthy, vegetarian dinners I can throw together in 5 minutes after a long day at work (basically looking for something to replace eating frozen pizzas, which we have been eating way too much of).
mascot
Are eggs and milk allowed? We do lots of eggs for dinner- fritattas, omelettes, egg salad, fried eggs over brussels sprouts/asparagus/spinach, etc. You could do fancy grilled cheeses, crock pot chili, salads. If you can cook on the weekends, preparing dinner size portions of more complicated meals and either freezing or sticking in the fridge makes dinner as simple as reheating.
Em
Same here – and my default easy egg meal is a plain omelet over rice with soy sauce and sriracha. Super quick .
Anonattorney
Another good egg meal: cook some polenta, saute some greens (arugula, kale), and fry an egg for the top.
SAlit-a-gator
Get the ready made polenta in a tube, slice it through in rounds with a knife, fry it in a frying pan. No work and delicious!
Em
You can also just stick it in the oven at low heat for a while; SO much easier than constant stirring on the stove.
AIMS
Lentils. I make a batch on weekends, but you could also buy the pre-cooked ones at Trader Joe. Throw in whatever veggies you have on hand and sauté everything with some garlic. If you want to make it even easier – get the frozen veggie mixes from TJ.
I’m also a big fan of omelets or frittatas for an easy dinner, with maybe some greens on the side.
DontBlameTheKids
Yes, lentils! I’m not a vegetarian anymore, but I was for a decade, and I practically lived off lentils. I was also a poor college student at the time, so bonus points for beans being super cheap. I learned to make lentil burgers really fast, but I don’t have a recipe on hand.
JJ
I live on those sautees during the week. I buy the Trader Joes prepped and washed broccoli, baby spinach, snap/snow peas, and chop onions, zucchini or whatever else I have on hand and saute those together. I’ll mix with lentils, farro, or wild rice and throw in some cherry tomatoes. It takes about 10 minutes, total (I buy the prepped lentils from TJ’s, the farro and wild rice in a microwave bag from Target) and I can make several meals out of it. To make it more filling, I’ll sprinkle whatever cheese I have on hand on top.
anon in tejas
frozen falafel sandwiches
soup and salad (i.e. black bean soup and a taco salad or quesadilla)
burritos (bean, cheese, veggies, yum)
chili (I make in crock pot and then freeze individual portions, really easy to throw on top of fritos, with some cheese, and it’s a great meal)
lb
I have been on a quesadilla kick lately. I eat meat, but there are so many varieties you could make without meat. Spinach with mozzarella, feta, and marinara; cheddar, black bean, salsa, cilantro with sour cream on top; fried onions and red bell peppers with mozz. If everything is pre-chopped/grated, this is definitely a five minute meal. I often eat mine over a bed of baby spinach to get more vegetables.
NOLA
Two recipes from Jane Brody’s Good Food Book – Curried Lentils and Company Beans and Rice – would be easy to make ahead and reheat.
NOLA
Oh, and burritos with black beans, brown rice, cheese, lots of veggies (precut), guacamole or avocado.
Clementine
Weekend meal prep is your friend. Piggybacking on what mascot said, other meals that freeze and keep well are:
-veggie curries
-veggie casseroles (think less condensed-soup casseroles, more fabulous mexican layered dish with black beans, tomatoes, tortillas, rice, etc.)
-buy frozen bags of stirfry vegetables. Add eggs or tofu or tempe or seitan or even beans. Make a quick sauce (ginger, garlic, soy and a touch of mirin works well). If you’re really pressed for time, some sesame salad dressings make a pretty good stir fry sauce.
– pre cut veggies and proteins to put on top of salads and make them exciting. If I have interesting things to put on top, I’m much more likely to eat a salad dressing.
-Don’t discount breakfast foods!! French toast or omlettes or even oatmeal makes a quick and delicious dinner.
-buy some protein powder and put it in a smoothie using some combination of frozen fruits/veg, dairy or dairy substitute, thickener (yogurt, kefir, silken tofu, banana)
-I have recently discovered the amazingness that is baked potatoes made in the microwave. I like to top mine with whatever chopped veggies I have and nutritional yeast.
Baconpancakes
Whole grain/vegetable pastas, boiled quickly, adding frozen peas/corn/carrots/mushrooms at the last two minutes of cooking, drained, add jarred/frozen pesto.
Frozen wontons (Annie Chung’s makes vegetarian ones) boiled in broth (I’d do Better Than Bouillon’s low sodium vegetable base), with huge handfuls of spinach, scallions, and maybe a medium-boiled egg thrown in.
Hummus with baby carrots, red peppers, sliced cucumbers, olives, with a side of naan or pita.
Polenta or grits with shredded cheese, topped with a sauteed vegetable like mushrooms, ramps, fiddlehead ferns (currently in season for a very short period of time) http://www.athoughtforfood.net/cheese-grits-with-fiddleheads-and-ramps-in-brown-butter/
Scrambled egg and avocado sandwich with tomato jam or just ketchup.
prof on a bike
Quinoa bowls — I eat these probably at least once a week. Basically cook some quinoa with a veg broth cube, and then throw on a protein (egg, tofu, pre-cooked lentils) and whatever veggies you have in the fridge (greens, tomatoes, peppers, carrots, pre-cooked beets, kimchi, etc). Add some salad dressing and you’re good to go. The quinoa obviously takes longer than five minutes to cook, but it doesn’t require a lot of intervention. I put it on when I get home and let it cook while I’m changing out of work clothes, unpacking my bag, etc.
Anon
As I was also going to recommend quinoa bowls, I will just piggy back with some ideas. I add salsa, avocado, and crushed corn tortilla chips; carrots, celery, buffalo sauce and ranch; or carrots, cucumbers, and Asian dressing (rice vinegar, soy sauce, sesame oil, garlic powder, and ginger).
zora
to make it even easier, I make a big batch of quinoa in my rice cooker on the weekend, and put it in a a big glass pyrex in my fridge. It only takes a few minutes to dump some with some veggies in a saucepan and heat everything up.
anon
BBQ chicken quinoa bowl, with corn and black beans, a drizzle of TJs low-fat Parmesan Ranch (and extra bbq sauce for me). Keeps me full all afternoon.
anonness
If you’re going to throw in kimchi and you’re veg, make sure to grab a veg one … the ones you’ll get from the Korean stores almost always use fish or shrimp.
Bonnie
Couscous cooked with a little garlic powder, mixed with raw tomatoes, cucumbers, chickpeas and feta.
Gail the Goldfish
or couscous cooked with cinnamon and olive oil, throw in carrots and raisins (somewhere I have a recipe for this, but I can’t find it. Basically it’s a little olive oil, then cinammon and lemon zest, add in carrots and raisins, then couscous, I think).
Also anon
A baguette, a wheel of brie, and a bottle of wine.
JJ
I like your style, anon.
ss
Throw in some fruit for nutritional balance. Some dried figs or raisins will do (that is if you don’t consider the wine taking care of the fruit part already).
cbackson
I love this dinner. I add some strawberries and baby carrots, and I’m good.
Senior Attorney
And some chocolate at the end!
Mrs. Jones
This is all I need.
Bonnie
This with some cherry tomatoes or olives for zing is a normal meal at our house.
anonypotamus
this is what we are having for dinner tonight – and we usually do it at least once a week! we usually make a small green salad to accompany it, and maybe some fruit if we are feeling super motivated. can’t beat it.
Rural Juror
I love this chickpea burger recipe – http://www.treehugger.com/green-food/chick-pea-burgers-recipe-of-the-week.html . To make it faster – instead of making burgers, I just throw all the ingredients in the frying pan and serve it in a wrap. This way you can leave out the bread crumbs and don’t have to worry about mashing/food processer/forming burger shapes. I do occasionally still mash and eat in the wrap anyway to change up the texture. I put both the bell pepper and the pickled hot peppers in there for extra “pow.”
Lily-Student
Veggie chilli. Quorn/ meatfree mince if you want, plus kidney beans, canned chopped tomatoes, and chilli. Stir up for 5-10 minutes, serve with microwave rice, cous cous, pasta, or potato wedges (though those take longer)
OttLobbyist
I second the egg options. I also make a brown rice, red pepper, green onion, edamame salad on the Monday night of a busy week. You can add a fried egg for veggie options, or tofu in some form, or chicken or salmon in my case. Does anyone else get tired of eating frozen, often tomato-based weekend-made meals? I can barely look at a chili or stew right now.
Clementine
Yes. For me it’s seasonal though- right now I can’t bear the thought of another bowl of vegetarian chili but once October rolls around, it will be just the thing.
Anon
Am admittedly stuck in a food rut but have berries or some other fruit, low-fat or nonfat yogurt, granola, and almonds for dinner 5 nights a week these days. It’s been my go-to meal for over a decade because it’s always easy to have everything on hand. I’m partial to Trader Joe’s frozen cherry berry mix (yay antioxidants) and their frozen mango chunks, as they are always there waiting, but will also use apples, pears, strawberries, etc.
kjoirishlastname
If cheese is ok, I found this recipe on Pinterest, and it looks delicious. Might need it with something else for more substance, but the cheese & edamame might be enough protein for you.
http://www.loveandzest.com/2013/12/edamame-cranberry-feta-salad.html?m=1
Another would be to saute swiss chard (or kale/other greens) stems (about 10 oz swiss chard total–you’ll use the leaves later), garlic & onion; cook a pound of pasta; add pasta to the sauteed veggies, add a cup or so of veggie broth, a can of cannellini beans & a can of pinto beans (don’t drain), simmer & cook till the sauce is thickened about 15 minutes. Add the leafy greens to the top, cover & let them wilt.
Also found this one on Pinterest, and am going to try it this week: http://juliasalbum.com/2014/02/sun-dried-tomato-and-mushroom-pasta/
hellskitchen
I like dinners that require minimal prep. Here’s what’s on my list of quick dinners:
1. Veggie burgers – I get the morningstar patties, add a slice of cheese, pickles and some mayo
2. Fried rice – You do need to have cooked rice ready or you can use those 5 minute boil in a bag rice packets. Saute some mustard seeds, cumin seeds, onions, garlic, (and curry leaves if you can find them) and add cooked rice to it. I also add chilies, soy sauce and turmeric for color. Goes great with yogurt and a side of cucumber. You can also add any frozen chopped vegetables to it.
3. Fried noodles – same as above but I use Ramen noodles – I throw away the seasoning that comes with it and soak the noodles in hot water for 5 minutes. They don’t take as long to cook as regular pasta noodles
4. Quinoa – takes 7-8 minutes to cook; I add chopped cucumber, tomatoes, cilantro, S&P and some lemon to it. If I have an avocado lying around I add that too. Let it sit for 10 minutes after you mix everything to allow the flavors to meld
5. Indian crepes – Thin crepes made out of chickpea flour. Mix water, S&P, chili flakes, curry powder with flour and make a light batter. You can add chopped tomatoes or onions too and make thin crepes.
Budget Girl
These are all 5 minutes of prep, which I think is what you are looking for? I dont know anything that cooks in 5 minutes.
Quinoa (or rice) chopped sweet potatoes, onions, peppers, zucchini, beans, tomato paste, chili poweder, and water. Simmer 30 minutes top with cheese or sour cream or avocado.
Stir Fry over noodles, make sure you get authentic noodles, takes 15 minutes prep and cook, which is always nice.
I pre make big batches of soup and falafel. Soup and grilled cheese, or falafel pitas with steamed veggies.
Quesadillas are really fast, with beans inside for protein and steamed veggies as a side is a really balanced meal.
I dont buy anything pre made which is great on the wallet but its also healthiest.
Anon
Some of our quick, simple weeknight dinners:
omlettes
breakfast for dinner (can quickly make french toast and an egg)
burritos (egg and potato, bean and potato, bean and rice, etc. covered in chile of course!)
quesadillas–I usually just do cheese and then eat with a snack size packet of wholly guacamole and salsa
salad comes together really fast. I top with feta and/or chickpeas.
some nights we eat oatmeal for dinner
If I am not too hungry sometimes I will just eat apple with peanut butter
Ekaterin Nile
Ha! My husband and I do “breakfast for dinner” a fair bit. It’s the easiest quick dinner for us.
Parfait
We just had this last night! bacon, eggs, bagels.
Senior Attorney
And don’t forget the tried and true grilled cheese sandwich. Add an apple and some carrot sticks and you’ve not only got dinner, but you kind of feel like a kid again in a good way!
If you’re feeling adventurous, add some jam to your grilled cheese. Yum.
lb
Grilled pb&j is great too. It makes me feel like a kid, but with an adult twist.
Leigh
Lots of great ideas so far! I have been in a rut with my dinners as well. I’m vegetarian, but my husband isn’t. If I’m running behind on time, I usually pull some diced yams from my freezer (any time I’m chopping yams, I just chop them all and put them in single serving bags in the freezer). I throw those into tikka masala (I buy jarred sauce, it’s definitely not the real thing, but I don’t have a good recipe yet) and eat that with rice and naan. I also will roast the yams in olive oil, warm up some black beans with cumin and garlic, and make black bean and yam tacos/burritos/tostadas. If I’m really lazy, I’ll just bake a whole yam and stuff it with black beans, cheese, tapatio, and Greek yogurt.
Anon
Do you have any jarred sauce recs? I’m in a TJ’s yellow curry rut (delicious, but I need to branch out).
Leigh
I have found that Patak’s Tikka Masala (I’ve found it several places) is better than most I’ve tried. Fresh and Easy’s store brand was also decent!
Anon
Thanks! I’ll keep an eye out!
OS
Second the rec. for Patak’s Tikka Masala
Lily student
I grew up on Patak’s Korma – it’s so good!
Meg Murry
Cauliflower is great in tikka masala sauce as well. Its extra tasty if you take the time to roast the cauliflower, but just plain steamed in the microwave is tasty too. I’ve seen some recommendations to grate it or pulse it in the food processor until super fine to use in place of some/all of the rice which I haven’t tried yet although it sound good to me.
Leigh
That sounds great too. I’ll have to branch out of my yam rut. I tend to throw them in everything.
LH
I’m not veg but I don’t really cook meat at home. My go-to thing is roasted veggies (you can roast them on the weekend and just reheat them on weeknights if you really want to save time). I eat them plain with some cheese on top, or throw them into eggs or pasta for a more complete meal. I also make a great quiche – I use a Pillsbury pie crust so its not very labor intensive. I pretty much just chop up whatever veggies I want in the quiche, beat some eggs, milk, cheese and a little bit of butter, pour it over the veggies and bake. If you’re really looking for a 5 minute meal, your best bet is probably cooking on the weekends and freezing meals. I do that with the quiche and lasagnas, casseroles and veggie soups also freeze well.
Dulcinea
Right now I am loving salad (spinach, bell pepper, feta, and tomato) with some cold beans (kideney, cannelli, or chickpea) right out of the can mixed in. It’s very filling and refreshing and easy to make.
Also, I recently realized that the reason I wasn’t eating more salad/leafy greens is that I don’t like the texture after you’ve been chewing them for a while…All these years I thought I liked salad but couldn’t figure out why I would end up letting it languish in the fridge….I solved this problem by mincing up the spinach into very small strips instead of tearing into normal salad-sized pieces. Biggest combination “DUH” and “AH-HA” moment of the year for me. ( I think this might have a marginal impact on nutrition because cewing/saliva helps break down the nutirients…but since it’s the difference between me eating spinach at all rather than doritos, I think it’s a win. Anyone know if my info on the nutrition issue is correct?)
Rural Juror
Anyone know if there are any promotions coming up at Saks/Nordstrom/Neiman Marcus like a friends & family or a buy $x get $x giftcard back etc? I am ready to pull the trigger on a handbag splurge but would hold off if I knew something was upcoming! Thanks guys.
Rural Juror
I realize Kat mentioned the Shopbop F&F above – but the purse is not on Shopbop.
DontBlameTheKids
I think Saks just did one, so Neimans probably has one coming up. Try the Purse Forum. Those ladies always know when an event is coming.
Bonnie
Not sure which bag you’re looking for, but Bloomingdale’s has been having frequent sales if you sign up for their Loyalist program (it’s free). After my first purchase, they also sent me a $50 reward.
BB
Also, if you have an Amex card, make sure to see if they have offers going. I still kick myself for not adding a $50 off $200+ purchase at Neiman’s a few months ago when I bought a few cashmere sweaters.
Anonymous
Bloomingdale’s just had F&F ending last week, and I think Saks was pretty recent as well. I don’t think the next Bloomie’s one is until October, though as mentioned, they do often have power point events for Loyallists. Neiman’s promotions are usually in the form of an InCircle multiplier (which I think requires having their credit card) or a spend $x, get $.25X gift card (which expires in a *very* short period). Nordstrom’s women’s sale is coming up toward the end of May I believe, but I don’t think that includes bags. Nordstrom doesn’t do widespread % off F&F promotions like Saks and Bloomie’s–just item markdowns and triple points events, which require having one of their cards. Also, these promos often exclude the highest end designers, so it would be helpful to know what brand you’re looking at.
Anon.
Saks F&F starts Monday, April 21. Pre-sale for cardholders starts this weekend. 25% off everything, with typical designer exclusions, etc.
Rural Juror
Thanks everyone! It’s valentino – I wonder if that will be excluded from F&F… sigh, probably.
Anonymous
This is a past Saks F&F handbags exclusions list: Akris, Mcqueen, Zlaia, Balenciaga, Celine, Chloe, Chanel, Louboutin, Derek Lam, Dior small leather goods, Dolce and Gabanna, Fendi, Gucci, Choo, Lanvin, Marni, Miu Miu, Moschino, Prada, Krakoff, Tod’s [LV is not on listed but is excluded by virtue of it being a leased stall within the store–to my knowledge, Valentino is not like that]
If you call the store, they probably already have this year’s list to be able to tell you.
Anonymous
Oh, and enjoy your new beauty! :)
Charmed Girl
Looks like there is one of those gift card promotions going on right now at Neiman Marcus. Enjoy!
Jaguar
Can people (specifically, my boss) ever really change?
I’ve been in my current job for four years and it’s pretty amazing. I supervise an incredible team of five people; I have terrific colleagues; my commute is 15 minutes long and my schedule is super-flexible (I have two young kids, so this is especially important to me). I work for a good organization doing interesting work and my salary is terrific. I’m in charge of my department and have a very hands-off boss, so I get to be master of my own destiny. I’m a nonprofit fundraiser, so after this much time I’m starting to build strong relationships with our donors — which of course makes my job increasingly more fun.
But (and there’s always a catch, right?) oh man you guys MY BOSS. He is TERRIBLE. And I say this understanding that there are probably way worse supervisors out there — he at least means well — but WOW. He’s the head of our organization and got this job w/o ever having served in an administrative role before, so he has no idea how to be a chief executive. Some examples:
+ He rarely/never praises anyone, even when my team shatters records and just generally performs to an amazing level of productivity and creativity. This is less about me, but it’s heartbreaking to watch good people wait indefinitely for (and never get) validation from the CEO. What’s worse, is he’ll give feedback — often constructive — but never think to say “Oh man, great job, you guys have to be so proud, etc.” during the conversation.
+ He wants to be in the minutiae of running our organization, when his job is to be the face person. My direct peers and I spend a lot of time trying to keep him out of the messy little details.
+ He loves to work in a vacuum — examples are endless. He will contact donors w/o telling my department and refuses to note his interactions anywhere, so then we look awful when a member of my staff reaches out to the same person (or worse, because he’s not a careful speaker/writer, he’ll inadvertently damage a relationship because he refuses to collaborate with my team). He once told me he doesn’t want to feel as though he has to “report down” to me/us, which I think is bananas. Even the President of the United States has a speechwriter…and at the very least people proofread what he writes!
For the last few months, I’ve been pretty seriously looking for a job. Both of my direct peers (all three of us report to the CEO) have told me they wouldn’t blame me for looking elsewhere b/c of how our boss has been acting (though they do not know I’ve got my eyes open). But the more I apply, the more I realize that I’ve got pretty much everything going for me in this position…except the person I report to.
Do you think it’s worth staying and just sucking it up? My husband thinks I should address my issues with my boss (and he actually gave me a pretty good/nonthreatening framework from which to work), but I just don’t know if I have the stomach for it. Plus, if this is who he is, can he ever really change?
Anonylicious
Well, if bringing it up makes him understand how it’s negatively impacting your organization, he might change. You’ll never know if you don’t try. So I’d have that conversation, and also keep looking for jobs. That way you’re covering all your bases.
Diana Barry
+1. Does he genuinely care about the organization? If so, he should be able to understand how contacting donors and not telling the rest of the team would be detrimental to what you’re trying to accomplish.
Perhaps you can also work on managing up – give him some minutiae to do that will (a) not harm the team and (b) make him feel like he’s contributing. Plus if he takes on some tasks, it will give your team more room to maneuver with fundraising, etc. I would also put in place some procedures to check with him BEFORE you contact donors for fundraising, BEFORE you do other stuff that he may have already done – true, this makes more work for you, but it may help with damage control.
If you talk to him and that plus more procedure doesn’t improve the way he’s acting, then I would continue to look for another job; if you find one, then I would also reach out to the board and try to get in front of them with examples of why you’re leaving, etc. They should know if he is harming the organization.
Anonymous
This sounds a lot like normal management interactions to me. Not sure you’d find it to be much different elsewhere, if everything else is ideal about the position. It’s probably worth giving your husband’s framework a shot if you think you’ll have his ear, which it sounds like you might.
L
I say this not to be snotty, but really aren’t most CEOs like this to some extent?
Anonymous
Right? He doesn’t praise your team. So what. You’re not there to be validated. Ultimately him not reporting on his interactions with donors might hurt the business but it doesn’t sound like it’s hurting your career.
AIMS
I’d talk to him about keeping you in the loop on who he contacts because it actually impacts your ability to do your job well and hurts the organization. I wouldn’t say anything about praise. If you have people under you, you can give them positive feedback. Not everyone works like that and quite frankly I wouldn’t go there — you’re not in grade school, no gold stars for everyone no matter how well you’ve done the job.
Anon
Agreed. I’ve reported to actual awful bosses and this guy doesn’t sound like one.
Jaguar
I get it — it sounds whiny when I talk about lack of validation for my team. I’m not sure how many nonprofit workers are on this site, but my feeling is that since we can’t compete with the corporate world salary-wise, you have to make it a great place to work in other ways. If I could give my staff bonuses or incentive pay, I’d be less stuck on this point. Bottom line is that it’s a cheap/free way to make someone feel validated, and he’s pretty clueless if he’s missing the boat on this one.
L
I’ve worked for a lot of non-profits that also operate this way and have much worse CEOs. Really, praise coming from you their direct superior is important. The CEO can give general rah-rah pep talks, but not once did I ever expect the CEO to say “L, you worked really hard on X.” Did not happen. You could mention it in terms of retention, but really praise from the top when I didn’t really interact with that person wasn’t something that crossed my mind.
Anon.
Yes, it does sound whiny. I was in the non-profit world for a number of years before making the switch to private practice. Difficult bosses certainly exist in the non-profit world, and I have no idea where you got the idea that working for a non-profit entitles you to more validation from your boss. This concept is totally foreign to me. Yes, the salary in private practice is often better (but didn’t you say your salary is terrific?), but when working for a non-profit your lower salary is counter balanced by all the other things you mentioned in your post- cooler co-workers (maybe), more flexible or shorter hours and especially the opportunity to work for mission you care about.
From my experience, the general thinking in the non-profit world is that it is “a great place to work” not because your boss is kissing your a** but because you have the privilege of holding a job that you really care about, with a mission that matters to you and fulfills you, and at the same time provides for your financial needs and allows you to build a career. I don’t think gold stars and pats on the back are necessarily a part of that package.
I agree that bosses can improve employee moral by validating them and complimenting them on a job well done. So maybe your boss is missing some low-hanging fruit there. I agree with other posters that his behavior just sounds like run-of-the mill irksome boss behavior. My advice is to start complimenting your team yourself if you feel they need the validation and to start looking for your own validation either by virtue of your objective successes or your internal fulfillment from your job.
hellskitchen
I work in nonprofit so I totally understand why this is critical. Could you tee these up for him? My former boss used to do that with her own boss. Anytime someone on her team had a big win, she’d send a note to her boss “Alicia, I wanted you to know that Jane broke the record on small gifts this week. It’d be great if you could drop her a note congratulating her.” She probably included a draft note sometimes so her boss could just hit send. She also would directly compliment her direct report by email and copy her boss on that email so it felt like the praise came from both of them and might even trigger the boss to add a quick note to the email chain. Another tactic is to do group debriefs after big projects and specifically ask everyone in the room (including boss) to list what went well.
Anon
I think that’s your job to give the gold stars to your team, not the CEO’s.
Coach Laura
Jaguar, you don’t sound whiny to me. I agree that praise (and higher titles/promotions) are great motivators, especially when money for raises and bonuses is tight.
On the recognition, I think you may have to give up on having him recognize your team successes. I make it a practice to send congratulatory emails to the successful team member and then copy the rest of the team and the rest of management (including the CEO in your case). That way, at least the employee knows that the CEO knows what was accomplished. You might try that. Or you could ask for the ability to bring in pizza or go out to lunch to celebrate and invite the CEO.
Regarding his contacting the donors without coordination, this is a communication issue as well as a “managing up” issue. What is your current system for record-keeping? How do you and your team keep from contacting the wrong people at the wrong time? Do you have set policies or is it haphazard? If it’s by word of mouth, you may need to set up a more formal system for your team to record their contacts and then ask the CEO to record his or if that is too much trouble for him, for him to tell you and you record. Or ask him how he’d like to keep you informed. What type of system does he like? Does he like spreadsheets? Databases? Or would he rather meet with you daily/weekly and tell you what donors he’s working on? Can you casually drop in to his office daily and give him a short team update and ask who he is contacting that week? Does he want to email you? Does he have an assistant who can help?
Ellen
Yay! I love this Celeste Dress, and the sandal’s but I can NOT wear the sandal’s at work, Kat!
I am back from LI and Passover! We had alot of food, YUM! and Matza Ball’s for everyone and MOM made me a jar to take back t0 NYC–they are SO much better then 2nd Avenue, tho I can NOT realy bash them b/c they make thousand’s of balls for everyday, and Mom onley make’s them for holiday’s when she know’s I will be there. The kid’s had a great time, tho the baby spit up twice on the table (high-chair), so Rosa had to tend to the baby b/c they left their housekeeper at home to watch TV. Ed was very careing of the baby too. That was nice. I want a baby also, but Myrna said I first have to learn how to keep a guy.
As for the OP, yes bosses change, but NOT alot, in fact very littel. When I first started, the manageing partner did NOT think I was anything other then a pretty face around the office that he could get his ego up with, but over time, he learned that I also had a strong LEGAL mind so once he figure’d out how smart I was, he got me workeing on WC law and the judge that he know’s where he had alot of cases. He also was smart enough to figure out that I could breing in new case’s, so he got me to learn how to schmmoooze with cleint’s also. As a result, I am NOT just a pretty face for the judge (and him to OOOGLE over), but also a savvy businesswoman who can get new cleint’s, like the Supermarket Guys, Sam, Willem, Roberta, Jim and other’s. HE did NOT real them in, I did, with my track record and my smart’s.
So if you can learn to wait out your boss, sooner or later, he will aclimate and become less of a doosh.
Not to say mine is perfect, but I did get him to stop stareing at me, and he is giveing me a clotheing allowance and alot of extra PERK’s b/c I do a good job. YAY!!!!!
LT IT
I’m no expert but there are books out there about managing your boss and that might be a place to start if you don’t have the stomach to try the more direct route your husband suggests. But truly I have worked in a number of places – good, bad, and downright toxic – and overall it sounds like you have a very good position and place to work. You may just need to vent occasionally (or a lot) about the boss which is what we’re here for.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that you have to look at the overall picture when you evaluate a job and it means a lot that you feel your boss at least means well. Many do not.
Anonymous
You are in for a hell of a shock if you look elsewhere. This guy doesn’t sound bad at all. Run of the mill problems.Also embarrassing that one of your complaints is no compliments from the CEO. come on man
Moonstone
It bums me out that so many replies are saying that it is unreasonable to want praise from a boss, especially for a team member on your staff. I know we all have to be tough chicks, but for a lot of workers, acknowledgement from a big boss makes them feel good. It’s similar to the “5 Love Languages” book that we talk about here all the time. For some people, praise is very appreciated. I don’t know why we have to denigrate that (“getting a gold star”). That said, he’s not going to change, OP. But you are not a “whiner” for asking the question.
Jaguar
Thanks! I was surprised at that too. I’m not talking about a weekly pat on the head, but recognition of seriously above and beyond work. I appreciate this comment.
Moonstone
I think there are so many terrible managers out there — abusive, really — that we’re all supposed to be grateful for one who isn’t so bad. Anyway, hang in there. I totally do that thing where I give a boss some minutia to fuss with in hopes it will keep her out of the other work.
AnonInfinity
I agree. Everyone likes to hear their boss say, “Good job; thanks for your help” sometimes. Doesn’t have to be a constant stream of affirmation, but it makes employees so.much.happier to hear that they’re doing a good job and their work is appreciated.
Anon.
I don’t think that any of the commenters said it was unreasonable to want praise. Of course it is wonderful to receive praise and encouragement and it is natural to want that and get bummed out if you feel like you aren’t receiving it. But OP began the thread by stating that her CEO is TERRIBLE- in all caps-and was thinking of leaving her otherwise amazing job due to the lack of praise, among other factors. I do not think that position is reasonable. I also don’t think it’s reasonable to expect more overt praise in lieu of compensation because you work for a non-profit. The amount of praise you will get is contingent on your boss’s management style, not your industry, unless your industry is being in kindergarten.
Maybe I’ve just had enough bosses who are stingy with praise that I am less sympathetic. I’ve had bosses where, 95% of the time, the only praise I got was a lack of a critique. That meant the work was perfect to go out the door without changes, and that made me feel great. As long as I know that I’m doing good work, my work is valued, and my position in the company is secure, I’m good to go. OP posted for perspective, her mileage may vary.
Anonymous
+1. I think wanting praise is very reasonable! It’s the expectation that you’ll get it – here or elsewhere – that’s probably not reasonable.
Anonattorney
I don’t really see why it’s hard work for a boss to give praise, or feedback generally. I know it takes time to sit someone down to tell them what was good and bad about their work. But that sort of assessment isn’t necessary outside a typical review period. It doesn’t take much time to say something positive, (literally, it can take seconds – “nice pitch to that client”) and it can really go a long way to make someone feel appreciated at their job; and, presumably, to act as positive reinforcement to remind people what is good work.
Bosses certainly don’t have to do it, but I really don’t see why everyone pushes back on this as being some extraordinary trait that most bosses shouldn’t have to do. I think it’s become this thing that is identified with millennials — they “need” praise, and therefore any request for feedback or praise is out-of-touch because millennials don’t understand “true” office culture. Bah, I think that’s a lazy assessment. If it’s cheap to implement and will improve morale and quality of work, why not just do it?
BCB
I have to completely agree with this. Acknowledging the hard work of your underlings is one of the easiest things a boss can do to create a positive work environment. It can be incredibly challenging to maintain high standards and go above and beyond when your extra work is never recognized. I don’t think is whining or asking for a “gold star” at all and I’m surprised by all the negative comments.
Philanthropy Girl
Hi fellow fundraiser! I’m so sorry about your boss!
I left my last job that I felt very similarly about (great maternity leave, flexible schedule, loved the mission, they really needed a FT fundraiser) – but my boss. Arg. My boss.
He worked in a vacuum, much like you describe your boss, but he was also extremely controlling. He managed all donor relationships. ALL. I’d been fundraising for two years and most donors thought I was a glorified secretary. The rest of the donor base didn’t realize I still worked for the organization.
He was perpetually deceitful in order to get his way, and issued flattery to manipulate. He was approached by senior staff and the board, and simply refused to hear criticism or alter his behavior in any way. He was the organization founder, so the board refused to fire him. Even after major crisis (founding board members quit, most of the staff quit, etc…) he refused to change.
My experience – there is no way this person is changing. Get out while you’re still sane. It’s probably way worse than you realize, and once you leave you’ll breathe a sigh of relief and wonder how you survived so long.
Celia
If his interactions with donors are really that damaging to the organization, I think it *is* serious. Is there someone on the Board of Directors you can talk to? After all, *they* are *his* boss, and if he’s screwing around with donations, then it’s their business too.
The rest of it is just people skills. Some people are lousy with people.
TO Lawyer
I LOVE this dress. It seems absolutely perfect for the summer (which will probably never show up since it’s snowing right now but a girl can dream right?)
Bonnie
This dress from BR is similar and is 40% off today: http://bananarepublic.gap.com/browse/product.do?vid=1&pid=932440002
It’s much nicer in person than on the model.
LilyB
is anyone else having trouble using the 40% off code at BR? I’m trying to buy a suit… which doesn’t appear to be one of the exclusions– am I missing something?
Gray29
LilyB, had this exact same issue this morning and at least the suit I was trying to order was a “BR Pick” which is excluded from the sale. So frustrating!
LilyB
ah! so annoying!
Aurora
I’ve had this issue before, and calling customer service has always worked for me. The sales associate agreed with me that it wasn’t clear what was/wasn’t a BR pick and just entered the discount manually for me. Might be worth a try if it’s something you really want!
Anon
Yep, it didn’t work for me (the apply button wasn’t working) so I just passed. Annoyed and didn’t feel like calling customer service.
buffybot
Agreed, it didn’t work for me, either. And I don’t think anything I had selected was a “pick” or “every day essential” or anything. Annoying. Probably the shopping gods helping me keep a budget.
Clementine
Suits are almost always excluded from the BR sale… yes, I’m still bitter about this.
zora
this. makes me so mad.
PolyD
They seem to exclude the Sloan fit pants, too, which are not BR picks or anything. So sorry, BR, you lost a sale.
Bonnie
Odd. I used it on sale items this morning.
viclawstudent
I have this and agree that it’s more flattering than that photo wants us to believe — somewhat unusually for BR, in my experience, it runs a *touch* small (I got the same size as usual, but find it very fitted through the ribs).
It is a bit short, too, for those of you who are concerned about that. I’m 5’6 and it’s an inch above the knee when standing and it goes up a ways when sitting down.
mintberrycrunch
TJ: Need advice from the ‘rettes who sew. I bought a casual jersey maxi dress that is a little too short. I think it would look great as a knee length dress, so I’m considering attempting to hem it, but I’m worried that the stretchy jersey material won’t hem nicely. Thoughts? I would love to be able to do it myself, either by hand (I have basic sewing skills, but don’t own a machine) or with that iron on hem tape, but I’d also be willing to take it to a tailor if the results would be much better.
Monday
I’m pretty experienced as a hand-sewer, but I wouldn’t mess with jersey. A dress hem is even more intimidating because it will be hard to stay level as you work your way around. I’d ask a tailor for an estimate at the very least.
Brit
I would second taking it to a tailor. Jersey really requires either an experienced machine sewer.
PolyD
I, too, have a maxi dress that I think would look better as a regular length dress. I’m wondering if I just could cut it carefully with a very sharp scissor, and let the edge just “roll up” – so the roll would be a feature rather than a bug.
It’s a Target dress, and I probably won’t wear it as a maxi, so I may experiment.
BB
It depends on how stretchy the jersey is. If it’s relatively stable, doing a blind stitch hem shouldn’t be too difficult (press the hem, pin, and blind stitch by hand). However, if you want a top-stitched hem and/or the fabric is super stretchy, you might get weird puckers and warping.
kjoirishlastname
if it is truly casual, you can do what Poly suggested and just cut it. It won’t fray, and as long as you do it very neatly (you can even get a hem-measuring tool from a sewing shop very inexpensively to mark the length to cut from the bottom of the hem, all the way around), it will look like it is intentional.
I’ve done this with a LOT of shirts.
Meg Murry
Yes – this. You can start by just cutting off the bottom hem first and see how you like it, and then washing it. If it looks ok, then cut it off where you want it (I’d suggest 1-2 inches longer than you think you want it so you can re-trim anything ragged or uneven). If you don’t like the look and want a real hem then you can take it to an actual seamstress.
ex enviro
I’d experiment – you already want to shorten it, so taking off a little bit won’t hurt you at the moment. Cut off a swatch and experiment with different stitches. I’d try a blind stitch (but honestly…with jersey, it doesn’t seem worth it to me. If you don’t have a serger, experiment zigzag stitch. I’ve had lots of luck sewing stretch jersey (cotton, bamboo, modal) successfully by finding the right tension and stitch length first. You could also just wash it and see how it looks raw. I know Rachel Pally dresses look great with a raw edge.
mintberrycrunch
Thanks everyone! I will play around this weekend.
buffybot
Help me, hive! I need your expert gifting advice.
My brother and sister-in-law are celebrating their 10th wedding anniversary next week and I’d like to get them something special.
Unfortunately, I am faced with a few constraints, which is making it hard for me to think of something:
– I’m on the other side of the country
– My sister-in-law is undergoing chemo, so the usual suspects (gift certificates to restaurants, spa, etc) probably wouldn’t work, since she doesn’t get out much
Any good suggestions? Any ideas would be appreciated!
L
Well 10 is tin…maybe you could make them a tin of something – stay at home date night stuff? Or maybe something sentimental – photo book of them over the course of their marriage?
Diana Barry
I would send them a giant gift basket. Maybe also a soft blanket for your SIL for her treatments?
LizNYC
+1 like movie night in — Amazon prime subscription or Netflix (you can print out the code for them), plus popcorn, typical movie snacks, the blanket to snuggle under to watch the movies (and maybe some soft, warm socks too — especially if she’s in a cold treatment room for chemo). You could throw in a few new release DVDs while you’re at it (I’m a grown woman who’s a sucker for Frozen.)
Soft Blanket
I just ordered this Fauribault blanket from Sierra Trading Post and am loving. (Link to follow to avoid moderation.) The mill it is made from has an interesting past, and the price on Sierra was a great deal (IMO).
Soft Blanket
http://www.sierratradingpost.com/faribault-woolen-mill-illusions-oversized-throw-blanket-woolandingeo-50×72%E2%80%9D~p~6533r/?filterString=s~fauribault%2F&colorFamily=04
buffybot
Thank you! Appreciate the testimonial.
Clementine
If they don’t have it, gift them an Amazon Prime subscription. An acquaintance was dealing with a health issue that made it difficult to leave the house, especially to go to stores, etc. and said that this was a great thing to have.
Plus, streaming movies!
Carrie
+1
I would avoid all food related gifts since she is going through chemo. You never know how chemo will affect appetite/taste etc.. Some foods become unpalatable.
Anonymous
Flowers ( if they are ok for her chemo). You could get a really gorgeous arrangement and have the florist use their wedding colors.
kjoirishlastname
Omaha steaks/Lobstergram? The ideas about “date night in” are great–soft blanket, gourmet popcorn, Amazon Prime/Hulu/Netflix, some nice candles, etc. would be lovely.
Anonattorney
The caramel apple tartlets from Omaha Steaks are AMAZING.
kjoirishlastname
yes they are! I still have some in our freezer from a gift from my ILs
Touring
Hive Help! I need a pair of shoes for touring London in a month. Something comfy that won’t make me look like a complete tourist. We will be doing a lot of walking so no heels. Thoughts?
Nancy P
Look at Walking Cradles — I wore a pair of their ballet flats around Paris for 5 days and they were great. They look reasonably chic (as in a French woman with bad feet would wear them).
anne-on
Boat shoes? Sperry has lots of very cute boat shoes in different colors and they are super comfy for walking around in and have a decent tread for wet/slippery streets.
Anonymous
This is probably a know-your-foot thing, but my boat shoes are incredibly uncomfortable for long walking. The sole is so stiff that it kills my arches. I’ve had much better luck with ballet flats that have a thick and padded enough sole to not make my heels sore from the hard streets, but still good flexibility.
People's Republic
I just bought the Hush Puppy Chaste Ballet. Love.
AIMS
Gentle Souls shoes are my go-to for travel. I can walk miles in them and even if I physically feel it, my feet are 100% fine – they’re amazing. Pricey but well-worth every penny, also often on sale at 6 pm dot com.
S in Chicago
Check out Keen. If I’m doing a ton of walking and don’t want outright athletic shoes, I live in the Toyah sneaker style (they also make a Mary Jane). I love boat shoes and structured ballet flats if it’s just some light walking (like commuting), but they don’t tend to have nearly enough arch support for long days walking or standing.
kjoirishlastname
amen. Booyah to all things Keen. I sometimes actually put ON my Keens after a long day in less-supportive shoes. They have super sturdy soles, so if they’re something you might wear anyway, they will hold up very well. I’ve owned more Keens than any other single brand of shoes ever. Worth every penny.
SAlit-a-gator
Check out Clarks – I went to Thailand recently and brought my walking shoes for the trip from them. The style I bought (no longer available) was very comfy, and I ended up buying both my mother and mother in law a pair because they were so amazing. These are not the same, but similar to mine (mine were all black so more versatile): http://www.zappos.com/clarks-haley-fuji-black
kjoirishlastname
i lovvveeeeee this dress, but it is out of stock in my size! HALP! Has anyone seen anything similar (I love the colors & the print) in 0-2?? And what is scuba, anyway??
http://www.jcpenney.com/month-long-values/ronnie-nicole-sleeveless-floral-print-dress-petite-/prod.jump?ppId=pp5003790003&catId=cat100300003&subcatId=cat100250027&deptId=dept20000013&cmJCP_C=labeled&cmJCP_T=XGN3&colorizedImg=DP0204201417202023M.tif
Anonymous
JC Penney generally doesn’t make any sizes smaller than a 4, which is annoying (I went in there once as a poor law student to go suit shopping and, after seeing that the 4 was much too big, the sales person steered me over to the junior’s section).
I just got this top from H&M that is super flattering and the colors sort of remind me of the JC Penney dress (also comes in tiny sizes, and is super affordable). Mine has more orange/gold in it than the picture on the website. http://www.hm.com/us/product/24187?article=24187-C
Scuba is a really thick, stretchy, no-wrinkle knit fabric.
kjoirishlastname
What a beautiful top! Thanks for the find! I never think of H&M, maybe because there’s not a brick & mortar store around here.
So scuba is like ponte?
Anon from 12:55
Essentially, although sometimes it can be a little thicker and/or more shiny. There’s definitely a lot of overlap between what stores call “ponte” and what stores call “scuba” but I think in theory scuba is supposed to be slightly more reminiscent of neoprene.
London in July
Husband and I are looking for a trip in mid-July, and we were thinking of London (somehow, we’ve traveled our way through South America and Eastern Europe, but have skipped the UK). We will only have 4 days, so we want a city with a relatively easy access airport (less time wasted traveling since our time is so limited). We will be flying from DC, so nonstop is available.
Anyway, is 4 days too short for this trip, and is July a terrible time to visit London? Should we try something domestic instead? I’ll be 6 months pregnant, so I’d like to avoid beaches/wine heavy locations. We really just want a nice hotel that is walkable to some tourist destinations, but with a focus on being able to enjoy eating outside and enjoying a new location’s ambiance. We tend to be pretty low-key when we travel.
roses
I’ve done DC to London, and it’s a very manageable flight. There’s a ton to see in London , but I think 4 days is plenty of time to hit the highlights. A couple of warnings though: 1) Cost – it’s crazy; 2) While there are tourbuses and the like, I found that it’s really easiest to hit all the sites by walking, which may be uncomfortable when you’re 6 months pregnant; and 3) Sort of ties in with 1, but while London has some fantastic restaurants, those are extraordinarily pricey. Granted, I haven’t lived there so maybe locals can speak more to this, but I found that it was nearly impossible to get really good reasonably-priced (or even just moderately expensive) food. Compared to major cities in the US, I think the average restaurant in London is pretty awful taste-wise.
That said, there are amazing historical sites and theater in London that I think you will really enjoy! Not to mention shopping for you and baby!
Anonymous
Also, is the flight over a redeye? I usually discount the first 1-2 days in Europe on my trips because of jetlag. I LOVE London, but at 6 mos pregnant and only 4 days, with jetlag, it may be utterly exhausting.
London in July
Ha – your comment actually makes me more excited about the trip! I automatically excluded places where I would have serious food envy. I get extremely sick during my pregnancies, and it doesn’t abate until the baby arrives. I had initially voted for London b/c I will able to partake in sipping tea and eating pastries, but scrapped Italy and Paris, as I tend to be so sick that I would have missed out on beautiful meals in interesting locations.
Walking is great, and sitting outside at cafes is divine. Sounds like – other than expense – London seems to make a lot of sense. Thanks to the suggestions below as well! Husband and I tend to pick a few highlights, but don’t stress about not getting to every site when we travel. Our theory is that we aren’t going to see everything in the world before we die, and our everyday lives are so frenetic, that traveling is an opportunity to go slow and take in the culture (usually we just eat our way through foreign lands, believing that eating is our form of sightseeing). Also – thanks for the hotel recommendation! That sounds like an ideal spot.
Anon in NYC
London is a good 4-day trip. I think that’s enough time to hit up some of the highlights, but also have a relaxing vacation. The last time I was there (in January), I stayed at The Edition (it’s a Marriott boutique property). Lovely hotel, fantastic breakfast, and easy walking distance to all the restaurants/shops in Soho, the British Museum, and Piccadilly Circus. Depending on how far you want to walk, it’s also relatively close to Hyde Park / Kensington Palace (~2 miles).
kjoirishlastname
It’s been years (like, 16) since I’ve been to London, but IMHO, 4 days isn’t enough, even if you are low-key about it. I was there for 4 days as a high-school senior, and we were going all the time, and it still felt rushed. However, there were a few highlights that could easily be taken more leisurely to absorb the entirety of 4 days of low-key vacation: Buckingham/Kensington; Tower of London; Westminster Abbey (among others); Windsor…Honestly, I would LOVE to do a tour of ancient London–basically Pre-Columbian London. I think it would be pretty awesome. My MIL (from Germany) “complains” about the history in America, saying that there are fountains in the square where she grew up that are older than the US. Not exactly true, but I know what she’s saying.
Parfait
Take her to Mesa Verde, then.
Diana Barry
I think that sounds great. I would splurge on the location of where you stay so you are central and can get back easily if you get tired.
If you take a red-eye, I would hit the National Gallery cafe first for a giant pot of tea and snack and then see the art, and maybe also a bus tour on the first day, since the flight will probably wipe you out.
We loved the Indian food and Wagamama when we went – not too expensive and very good.
Rachelellen
Second Wagamama. Take in a Shakespeare play at the Rose, south side of the Thames. There’s a Wagamama right next door.
Gail the Goldfish
I think London would be a good choice. I went a couple of years ago in July for 3 or 4 days and it was great. Weather wise, it was quite cool by US standards (especially if you’re coming from DC). They charmingly thought that 80 degrees counted as a heat wave. My warning: don’t try to do everything. I set a super ambitious schedule. I saw just about all the major tourist destinations, but I also couldn’t walk by the time we got to the second leg of our trip. My favorites were Westminster Abbey (which has an excellent audio tour), the British Museum, and Parliament (but we got super lucky and had a friend of a friend who worked for an MP give us a tour with a much smaller group–the international tour group lined up outside looked massive). Roses is right–the food leaves a lot to be desired unless you go somewhere pricey.
Gail the Goldfish
Oh, and I agree with Diana Barry about splurging on accommodations to be somewhere central. I stayed in the LSE dorm near Trafalgar Square that they rent out over the summer, which I wouldn’t recommend if you’re pregnant and a real adult (I was still in the “just finished law school, let’s be cheap” mode, in which case it was perfect), and it made things so much easier.
(not s0) recent grad
I lived in London for a few years. 4 days won’t be enough to see everything, but then again, you could spend weeks there and still not see everything. I think 4 days is plenty to hit the highlights. If you are more interested in eating/relaxing than rushing from one tourist attraction to the next, I recommend stopping by The Orangery at Kensington Palace for a pot of tea and a scone. In July the park will be beautiful to stroll through, and who knows, maybe you’ll even catch a glimpse of Kate and her stroller! From there, can take a quick cab ride (you could walk, but you will be 6 months pregnant) to Harrods. If you are going to go to only one museum, my favorite is is the British Museum mostly because of the Egyptian artifacts.
5 min is really short
Are you flexible on the 5 minutes, or do you really mean “very, very, short time” and wouldn’t want to go much above 5? If you have some room above that, here are some things we do: (1) frozen trader joes spicy veggie burritos. they are actually very good. and then we make guac and some beans on the side, so it feels like a pulled together meal instead of a frozen meal, but has the convenience of having a frozen starter/base. (2) kale salad. since kale can be tough, we toss something hot in it like baked eggplant (cut into small cubes and baked with olive oil and spices. or, sauteed asparagus or string beans. and, regular salad fixings. (3) quiche. the martha asparagus leek with gruyere is really good.
5 min is really short
whoops. this was meant for the OP.
The real Paul Anka
The time has come to register for wedding gifts and I am a little lost and overwhelmed My aunt is downsizing and is giving me her formal china and silver, so I am set there. Those of you who have been through this – what was the best wedding gift you received? Anything that you loved that surprised you? What did you receive that you never use?
Help appreciated!
Also anon
Tervis Tumblers. Used every day. Lightweight and not breakable. They don’t leave rings. I thought that the lady was crazy to suggest them for my registry, but they are awesome and now I give them as gifts. And cheap, so something your budget-minded or younger guests can actually get.
JJ
Word. We went through and systematically replaced all our glasses with Tervis Tumblers. And they’re guaranteed for life. When we had a few break, we sent them in and Tervis replaced them for free.
Aggie
+1 on the Tervis. I have a set of 16 ounce tumblers and only 2 have chipped after five years of heavy use. I sent them in and Tervis emailed me a coupon to replace them. The tall 24oz tumblers are also handy as they fit in car cup holders and you can add a lid and straw for an instant reusable water bottle. I fill mine with ice water each morning and refill throughout the day. I usually still have ice cubes in my tumbler after lunch!
Anon
Someone had already bought us a set of two of these (off registry) and I was wondering who bought us these random cups for which we didn’t even register. Good to know they are useful! I just registered for 3 more sets :)
Olivia Pope
I LOVE my rice cooker. I use it so much.
MiddleCoast
I also LOVE my rice cooker – makes cooking easy.
Anon
Make your registry really early and then revise it multiple times – you may think you will use something but after consideration you will realize you wouldn’t. Also, if you can’t think of where you would store it or a specific instance in the past year when you really wished you had it, then don’t register for it. An example of this is we were really tempted to register for a Ninja because they seemed so cool and everyone I know really loves their’s. I had grand ideas of making soups and dips and all kinds of other stuff. Then I remembered I bought a magic bullet with the same intentions and hardly ever use it. This was the approach I took and I honestly love pretty much everything we received and use it regularly (we had been living together so we upgraded almost our entire kitchen). Specific items I really love are really nice salt and pepper grinders (OXO), a Dyson vacuum, and nice pots and pans. The one thing I will never use is a casserole-sized crock pot (this was an off-registry purchase, though). Before I get reamed in the comments, I was not fishing for gifts, my wedding was not all about the gifts, and we greatly appreciate everything everyone gave us. Obviously in most circles doing a registry is expected, though, and it is always nice to receive things you will actually use.
Bewitched
Totally agree on the salt and pepper grinders. They are awesome! I also got a set of copper bottom stainless steel pots and pans that are still going strong after 20 years.
M
+1 Dyson Vacuum Cleaner
Kontraktor
I would say register for things you feel you will use a lot and/or wouldn’t (or couldn’t) (afford to) buy for yourself. We had a teeny tiny wedding and part of me was a little sad we just didn’t have the guestlist to register for all that fun, random stuff like cupcake tiers or cheese serving platters that are hard to buy yourself. So, definitely register for some fun stuff. But, the flip side is that we registered for practical things we needed and that was great too. We had some family members go in together on a nicer pot and pan set (a must, I feel), as well as a Kitchen Aid stand mixer and food processor. All great items we use a ton. Some other good/bigger items you could ask for upgraded versions of: teakettle, coffee maker, Le Cruset dutch ovens/pots, nicer single pots (ex., a really nice non stick frying pan, a single copper bottom braising pan, etc.), other small kitchen appliances like a blender, etc. For the home, you could consider doing nice towels and sheets that you might not buy for yourself. We registered for our allergy dree duvet and it has held up great.
anonymama
I had a really big wedding (not fancy, but loooots of relatives), and we did get a lot of the random cheese platters and cake stands (both from the registry and not)… and really, don’t get them unless you will use them regularly and you have plenty of storage. We’ve moved twice since the wedding and even with plenty of storage I’ve felt like “why, why do I have so many random cheese plates/a fajita pan/vases that I only use once a year…”
Definitely get nice pots and pans. Also worthwhile to get nice everyday utensils, plates, and bowls. And tongs, spatula, mixing bowls… basically think of the stuff you use every day, or every week, and get those things upgraded.
KLG
If you like to cook, lots of little kitchen stuff. A good garlic press, mandolin, spatulas and tongs and serving spoons, mixing bowls, etc. One of the gifts we use most often is really nice sturdy tupperware (I think it’s actually Rubbermaid). I already had really nice nonstick pans but that’s another good option. As are small appliances (panini press, coffee maker, blender, etc.).
Do you need crystal to go with your china/silver?
Maddie Ross
Fun serving pieces. I also received all my china and silver from my grandmother and only registered for every day white dishes. I really wish I had registered for some fun colored and/or glass pieces for entertaining. Things that have been useful that I have purchased are: glass chip and dip bowls, large colorful ceramic serving bowls and salad bowls, and large ceramic platters. These are great for football watching, backyard cookouts and more casual get-togethers where my china seems like overkill.
Anonattorney
+1 on the serving pieces.
kjoirishlastname
Agree with KLG about good kitchen-ware. If you don’t have good pots & pans, register for a few pieces of All-Clad. You’ll be passing it on to your kids.
Good-quality kitchen gadgets like a garlic press, pizza cutter, good knives (indispensable: paring knife, bread knife, chef’s knife, carving knife at a minimum); a great knife-sharpener; high quality salt, pepper & olive oil; a crockpot; good quality measuring cups; a silpat. You can also register for everyday dishes. You could register for some that are relatively inexpensive, and so you won’t feel bad about craigslisting them in several years if you find your tastes change, or you move, or you paint, or whatever.
The most surprising thing on our registry that I love is a floor lamp. We registered for a target 3-way stained-glass shade up-light floor lamp and I love it. I wish I had more of them.
Also, picture frames. They’re surprisingly expensive, and annoying. No smaller than 5×7, some 8×10. If you ultimately have kids, you’ll want frames for the walls and such.
a.k.
We got one of those reversible two-burner griddle pans, that’s a ridged grill on one side and smooth griddle on the other. I kind of registered for it on a whim, but it’s perfect for grilling indoors in the winter, and is a weekend breakfast staple because you can do pancakes and sausage at once.
anne-on
I didn’t want to register for many serving pieces b/c we didn’t have a place to store it at the time, but we now use them for every major holiday and I really appreciate having nice, matched pieces.
Good quality tablecloths/napkins/placemats for holidays. Cake stand and bread bowls – I’m a baker and I use these a ton.
NOLA
Nice pots and pans, good knives, serving platters (I have cobalt dishes so I can get anything white with cobalt or colors). Canape knives, pretty dessert plates, nice wine glasses, martini glasses, a c*cktail shaker.
Also, this is going to sound crazy but we have these tiered swivel plate stands at work for parties that hold glass plates. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve borrowed them for home. They allow you to put out food at multiple levels without taking up as much table space. They’re kind of like this but 4 tiers: http://www.amazon.com/Metal-Keller-Swivel-Plate-Stand/dp/B009TUNIAQ/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1397577165&sr=8-1&keywords=swivel+plate+stand
LizNYC
Favorite gift:
–Kitchenaid stand mixer (I bake a lot)
–Pineapple corer
That I rarely use:
–My wedding china — I’ve used it only 3 or 4 times since we got married because my mom still has most of the holidays at her house. I should have been practical and asked for our everyday china instead. (But I love our wedding china and I would have never bought it for myself.)
That I use often:
–A pretty vase that I love for flowers and just to have on display.
anonymama
I just want to encourage people to use their china! I get mine out whenever we have people over for dinner (it has way more plates than our everyday set). And it’s actually sturdier than you might think, and seems to do just fine in the dishwasher (ours is Wedgwood). My mother-in-law uses hers all the time, and it’s lasted 30 years and still looks just fine.
Anon
I second this – I often bring it out when friends are over for brunch – toddlers and all. I’d rather it be broken having a great time than sit in the cupboard gathering dust for a once a year holiday. Nothing has broken yet (Royal Doulton).
Anon
+1 – I use mine as every day china, we’re not clumsy and it makes the table pretty.
anonymama
I am clumsy and still use it, and haven’t broken anything yet :-)
Senior Attorney
The day will come when you start hosting holiday dinners, and you will be glad to have the nice china. And yes, in the meantime just use it. I put mine in the dishwasher and it’s held up fine.
LizNYC
Mine is dishwasher safe (a major selling point!). I’d probably use it more if it wasn’t shoved in a hard-to-reach cabinet. In my next house, I plan to make it way more accessible.
Wordy
Two dozen nice wine glasses (not crystal)… or more! You will break some along the way. Now when we have people over, we have six of one kind, four of another, six of another kind — all of which I love and wish I’d had more to start, to accommodate for breakage.
The real Paul Anka
Thanks for all of the helpful suggestions. I have seen a lot of love here for fiestaware, any other recs for everyday plates? Awesome sheets and towels?
Bonnie
I love our Corelle white plates. They’re indestructible and are thin so we save precious cupboard space. Since they’re white, we can get creative with table linens.
Brit
I will attest to the indestructible nature of Corelle. That’s what we had growing up and I can’t tell you how many of them my brother or I dropped while unloading the dishwasher and they stayed intact.
Senior Attorney
I have white Fiestaware and I love it beyond reason. Completely indestructible.
Meg Murry
Also, could you ask your aunt if any pieces are lost or broken that you could register for replacements for? Or are there add ons to her set (like serving spoons, or a big platter etc) that you could add on? A lot of my friends that have family china and silver are missing a few pieces that broke over the years, so it might be worth asking for replacements on registries now if they are still available in stores – or just letting people know what your pattern is, some people (like me) would have fun going to antique shops looking for more pieces in your patterns.
And everyday silverware – register for way more of it than you think you’ll need, or if they sell the pieces individually – extra spoons. A box with extra place settings doesn’t take up much room in a cupboard if you don’t think you’ll need them all right away. Trust me, if 5-10 years you’ll be saying “what happened to all my spoons”?
NOLA
This is so true (about the spoons)! I have my mom’s stainless and I love the pattern. But when I started using it I realized that there were hardly any spoons left. Who knows – my brother and I probably took them outside or something. So I bought extras from Replacements after I figured out the pattern.
Philanthropy Girl
I love love love my immersion blender. It doesn’t take up much space, and is so easy to clean. I use it for soups, smoothies and milkshakes. It was a great gift. I also love my cast iron skillet and my cast iron dutch oven – not sure I could cook without them!
Honestly, my other favorite gifts weren’t even on my registry. They were personally thoughtful but not something I would have ever registered for, which I think is why they mean so much.
Parfait
My favorite was the quilt my grandma gave us. Not registered for and wouldn’t ever have thought of asking for one, but it was extra sweet. The gift that says “I hope you guys are cozy and comfy!”
Diana Barry
Ladies, for those of us who have the wide forefoot/narrow heel/bunion etc. issue, I just want to give a shout-out to my Cole Haan MEN’S oxfords that I am wearing today. So comfortable! Nice and wide with enough cushion. They are masculine but colorful (similar to these but with more colors http://www.6pm.com/cole-haan-air-colton-saddle-peacoat-nubuck-mint-leaf) and I balance that by wearing a sequined sweater on top. I went down 1.5 sizes from my normal women’s size and they are still roomy.
BankrAtty
What should I wear to a Indian wedding ceremony (baraat) that begins at 9am? There is also an evening reception where I plan to wear something glitzy and colorful, but the morning event is stumping me.
anon in tejas
Glitzy and colorful for both. At least in my family, that’s how we’d roll.
Baraat is when the groom arrives for the ceremony. There generally music and dancing as the groom comes in (about 30-45 minutes).
BankrAtty
So I can bring the bling, even at 9am? Why wasn’t I born into this culture??
hellskitchen
Oh yes, bling it away. If you want to distinguish, save the lighter (in terms of color and glitz) outfit for morning and go all out in the evening.
anon in tejas
yep! you’ll see more blacks and cocktail colors in the evening.
BankrAtty
I know black and white are considered inauspicious colors. Would it be a faux pas to wear a dress with a cream background? I own this dress and am considering wearing it for the morning ceremony:
http://www.ebay.com/itm/NWT-Talbots-Rose-Tea-Dress-6p-Petite-6-Vintage-Anthropologie-Small-4-Medium-S-M-/291117321183
hellskitchen
BankrAtty – this would be fine.
Sam
+1 to glitzy and colorful. Don’t forget tons of jewelry (layered necklaces even if you like). If you have two outfits you’re choosing between, save the biggest bling for evening.
just Karen
If you want something fabulous for the evening, you can rent beautiful Indian formal wear on this site:
http://luxemi.com/
I went to law school with one of the founders
AN
Blingy, blingy , blingy. Anytime of the day or night.
EB0220
Kid question, feel free to skip: This seems silly to ask here, but the hive helped me find my last doula so I thought I’d ask again. Can anyone recommend a labor doula in the Charlotte, NC area? Looking for someone experienced with natural birth in a hospital but open-minded about all approaches!
yes
Tish was my L&D class teacher at Presby (main) and also was my doula for #1. Her e-mail is (at least in 2008) btts1@carolina.rr.com.
Admin
Reason number 34 I hate being an admin: male vendors who call me ‘darling’ or ‘sweetheart.’
People's Republic
Someone senior to me (my larger group, not my reporting line) called me “my dear” yesterday! It almost knocked me off my chair. On the one hand, I know it was harmless and was meant as a nicety (the context of the convo was him pointing me to an internal new oppty), but STILL. I had no idea how to reply.
Brit
Ugh, agree. We had someone who worked for us part-time that used to call me “young lady.” And it was said kind of in a creepy, grandpa tone…
Yuck
I was traveling to meet co-counsel, and my managing partner was describing me to him over the phone (the whole conversation was wildly inappropriate, as I was going to his office – so it wasn’t like he needed to identify me in a public place!!!!). I was described as “[she] looks like my granddaughter.” Fantastic.
Budget Girl
All the senior males call me “darling” ect, always followed by a prompt apology because they realise that times have changed, but it honestly doesn’t bother me. I know they aren’t doing it in a demeaning or sexual or objectifying way.
Baconpancakes
Eh, they might not be doing it on purpose, but it is still demeaning. Would they call their children “darling?” Yes. Would they call a man in your position “darling?” No. So they’re lumping you in with children. I get called “sweetie” on the phone all the time, and I just about crack a tooth from biting back a retort.
Anonylicious
Since I moved up to the DC area from SC I’ve been getting “miss” a lot from strangers, rather than “ma’am,” which kind of annoys me. Especially because I’m pretty sure the speaker is younger than me a lot of the time! Maybe it’s because I have a kind of young face, but still. Annoys the everlovin’ you-know-what out of me.
On the flip side, getting “ma’am” from people in uniform still throws me for a loop. (I’m a prior enlisted defense contractor.) Maybe I should just be glad I’m not getting “hey, you!”
AIMS
I hate Ma’am. It makes me feel like an old lady. To each their own, I guess.
Senior Attorney
I come in contact with law enforcement a lot and get “ma’am”-ed by them all the time, so I’m used to it. Too bad there’s no female equivalent to the awesome “Sir.”
Senior Attorney
By which I mean “Ma’am” is intended by law enforcement and military personnel to be equivalent to “Sir,” but it’s just not, is it? And that’s a darned shame.
cbackson
We should just go Battlestar Galactica style and call everyone “sir.”
Senior Attorney
I know, right?
Anonylicious
I dunno. It might be a regional thing, but I have always used “ma’am” as the equivalent of “sir.” And to me, you should only call children and adolescents “miss.”
Erin @ Girl Gone Veggie
This. I’d much rather be called Miss.
LilyB
Thinking about getting a few pairs of the hanky panky bare eve thong (the no-show kind). Any thoughts on how they fit? I’m torn between getting the small and medium. I usually wear a size 4 bottoms, occasionally a 6. 26 inch waist, 38 inch hips.
Anon
Hanky Panky runs large. I usually wear a 6-8 on the bottom and their mediums are too big for me.
LilyB
ok thanks. any thoughts on the commando thong (classic or tiny) as opposed to the hanky panky one? I want a truly no-show look that’s comfortable.
Anonymous
I am your same measurements on bottom and I really like the On Gossamer Hip G mesh thong in size S/M (that’s the actual size, their sizes are XS/S, S/M, and M/L). I used to hate thongs, so I started out with just one or two for when I really needed no-show, and they are so comfortable that they’ve become my everyday underwear even with pants where cotton boyshorts would work. I also like packing them for travel because I don’t have to think “I need 3 pairs of X style to go with this bottom style, and 3 pairs of Y style to go with that bottom style”–they work with everything.
Hair dye
Hopefully I am not too late to ask this – I am getting married at the end of June. I have naturally dark blonde hair, medium-long. My typical hair cut/color routine consists of going once every 3-4 months (because it is so expensive!) for highlights and a trim. I realize now I am just a little over 2 months away from my wedding, but I haven’t had my hair done since December. So, I am ready to have it done now, but would it be too soon to do it now and do it again in June? I guess I am just wondering if it will fry my hair to have highlights twice in a 2 month time span? Should I just keep it as is until June comes and do it once? It’s getting a bit sloppy now. TIA!
M
I get my hair highlighted every 6 weeks and it’s fine. If you’re worried, discuss it with your hair dresser. I would recommend getting your highlights done the week of your wedding, especially if you’ll have an updo (because updos show your roots more).
Anon
Congratulations! I’m getting married next week and my usual hair routine was a cut every 3 months (I stopped coloring/highlighting my hair about 3 years ago). I decided I wanted it a few shades darker for the wedding (nothing drastic, just something subtle). My stylist had me go in and have it cut and colored 2 months before the wedding, then had be go in 2 weeks before the wedding (so about 6 weeks after the first appt.) to have it touched up (we ended up just re-dyeing it) and trimming it. My hair looks super healthy and shiny and not the least bit fried. If you would feel more comfortable, though, just wait until June.