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I finally got a new Apple Watch, so I've been hunting for cute watch straps. (My old one was rose gold, which complicated watch strap purchases — and it started being a pain in the butt to update at least 18 months ago. I was mightily tempted by the dark blue Series 7, but instead went with the silver Series 7 instead.)
In any event — Missoni has some super cute watch straps right now, which is not a product category I would have thought they were in. This colorful one (pictured) seems lovely; I actually ordered this pink zigzag one (but it hasn't arrived yet).
The pictured watch strap is $135, at Nordstrom; Bloomingdales also has a good selection.
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Sales of note for 8.30.24
- Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
- Ann Taylor – 30% off full-price purchase; $99 jackets, dresses & shoes; extra 50% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
- Bergdorf Goodman – Final Days Designer Sale, up to 75% off; extra 20% off sale
- Boden – 20% off
- Brooks Brothers – Extra 25% off clearance
- Eloquii – Up to 60% off everything; extra 60% off all sale
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide; extra 60% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – Extra 20% off orders $125+; extra 60% off clearance; 60%-70% off 100s of styles
- Lo & Sons – Summer sale, up to 50% off (ends 9/2)
- Madewell – Extra 40% off sale; extra 50% off select denim; 25% off fall essentials
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Rothy's – End of season sale, up to 50% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear in the big sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 25% off regular-price purchase; 70% off clearance
- White House Black Market – Up to 70% off sale
Anon
Any recommendations for a hearty spreading ground cover that wouldn’t die in full western afternoon sun? I’m near Raleigh.
Anon
Grass. Sorry. I’ve tried lots and grass is popular for a reason.
Anon
Here’s a link to some native grasses for your area.
https://www.gardenia.net/guide/recommended-native-grasses-for-north-carolina
Please try to stay away from invasive non-native species.
Anon
I also came across this list of non-grasses while looking for the grasses. I don’t know if any of these are native vs not or invasive vs not so do your research
https://www.wildflower.org/expert/show.php?id=9176
Anonymous
I’m in Raleigh as well. The NCSU Extension has a very helpful website where you can search by plant type/conditions (it’s https://plants.ces.ncsu.edu/), and the Triangle Gardeners and NC Native Plant Forum Facebook groups could probably give you some good ideas. Unfortunately all my ground cover ideas are for shady areas.
Anon
Hardy, not hearty. Though I can picture a jolly elf with a robust laugh…
Anon
What was the point? You understood her meaning.
Ses
I would actually appreciate this type of correction. I want to be told when I’ve adopted a common misspelling. Although I appreciate it can get a bit much around here.
Jo April
Clover is a bee-friendly nitrogen fixer!
Anon
If you and your spouse are years behind on furnishing your house and it is because you are busy with young kids and have never figured out my your aesthetic (beyond “I hate X” and “You hate Y”), can you hire a decorator who can magically split the difference and get you off to a coherent start? Or is this asking for the impossible? If not impossible, how do you find such a person if you are a basic working person on a decent but not unlimited budget?
Anonymous
Have you thought about doing some online quizzes about decorating style or making some pinterest boards? You could do this during the day on breaks or after the kids have gone to bed.
Maybe set a deadline like “Next Friday after the kids are in bed we’ll have a talk where we share our results with each other and think about how to blend them.” Then find common ground and dealbreakers and go from there?
There are lots of “find your style” tools. I like the book Style Statement, which is a more holistic look at personal style. The book “The Well Dressed Home” was also helpful for me.
Nothing against hiring a decorator, but I haven’t done that before and so don’t have useful feedback on it.
Anonymous
I like the Designer in a Binder approach – https://designerinabinder.com/
when I worked with an online designer she gave me a questionaire to fill out with specific questions — you and your husband could do it together.
Anon
I like the Designer in a Binder approach – https://designerinabinder.com/
when I worked with an online designer she gave me a questionaire to fill out with specific questions — you and your husband could do it together.
AIMS
This may be a boring option but what about picking a store you both like to get some solid basics/help with a layout and then build off there?
AIMS
To clarify – I mean ask their design services for help. I think most big stores do that sort of thing. And probably smaller stores may be even better at it (one of my favorite furniture shops in upstate NY will even come to your house if you’re local enough to the area).
Anon
As a person located in upstate NY, what’s the name of the furniture shop??
Anon
Ha! OP here. This is more advanced than we are. He is all “just go to Rooms to go.” and I’m all “OMG no; we need to lovingly curate things with serendipidous finds over the years and random lucky Craigslist finds and OMG only real wood” and similar nonsense (although I would love a new Chesterfield sofa). Stuff I love just needs to magically appear, you know? And yet it doesn’t.
anon
No thoughts on how to hire a designer, but I did see an interesting approach in one design mag that might work for you. Instead of trying to “split the difference,” which usually ends up in nobody being totally happy, the designer worked on fairly dividing the design choices. Like in the living room, the decor is 70% Spouse A, and 30% Spouse B’s taste. Then another room is flip-flopped: 40% to Spouse A, and 60% to Spouse B. Or whatever. It sounds kooky, but it actually worked. The percentages aren’t as important as choosing a predominant style for each space so that it’s not a mishmash of design choices. (Eclectic that looks good and not “post-college apartment” is harder to pull off than most people realize, IMO.)
Allie
Those online decorating services seem good for this — make sure to take their style quizes together and in the notes explain each style and how you want to try to merge them. I’d start with just room for price reasons. I used modsy and it was fine, I think they’re all fine, but not amazing, but can help.
Anon
If you’re just looking for a budget-friendly, middle of the road type of design Modsy is pretty good.
Cat
Ethan Allen bakes the cost of designer home visits into their furniture prices – you might try making an appointment with them if that’s a price point you think you’re interested in. Even if you don’t end up buying everything from them, they can help integrate what you want to keep from existing pieces, provide general suggestions for art or accent pieces, etc — they do know people are unlikely to furnish their house 100% there.
I’m guessing other furniture companies offer similar services, just happen to be familiar with that one!
Bonnie Kate
Not impossible, I think this probably exactly what decorators/designers are for.
To start, google “interior design + your geographic area” and “interior decorating + your geographic area” and find a designer who has a vibe you like. They should have lots of pictures on their website/social media accounts; I would weed out from there. Instagram is beloved for interior design/home decor; a lot of the younger millennial designers are there. I would find one who doesn’t have a huge following, who’s pics you like, and email them and ask about price ranges/process. Many will probably be willing to work with you on a concept and then budget/implement over time.
Anon
I think this is probably what Modsy is for.
Anonymous
Any easy tips for traveling with spices? We’re renting an Air Bnb near inlaws for 3 weeks and I don’t want to bring the full-sized spice containers or use a zillion ziploc bags.
Anon
I usually bring all my Penney’s sample packets along for trips like this. Short of that, you can try the smallest containers you can find – like contact lens cases or pill cases.
I generally take my favorite knife in a sheath, my apron, my full sized pepper mill, a baggie or 8oz jar of kosher salt, and the spice packets. Depending on what’s ripe in my garden I may also take herbs and some lemons. But ours is a road trip and I wouldn’t take all of this if I were flying.
Anon
*Penzey’s
Anonymous
Look at camping equipment for spices, or repurpose the kind of multispice shakers/boxes with 6 or more compartments?
AIMS
Giant pillbox.
Anon
Go to the dollar store and buy a multipak of contact lens cases with screw on caps. The space for each lens is perfect for small amounts of spices. Even if you want a dozen spices, 6 cases takes next to no room, and there are never spills.
Anon
For me that wouldn’t be enough room. I don’t even think you could fit a full teaspoon in there. I like the idea of the jumbo pill cases, the ones meant to hold pills and supplements.
Anon
Like this:
BUG HULL Pill Organizer Extra Large 2 Pack, BPA-free Weekly Pill Box XL, Big Pill Case 7 Day, Oversize Daily Medicine Organizer, Travel Pill Container, Pill Holder for Vitamins, Fish Oils, Supplements https://a.co/d/5VZw1KE
(OP, I would still put these inside a zip loc in case one or more come open, which I have experienced occasionally with my pills)
Anon
I’ve seen spice containers at camping stores. If I only needed small amounts, I usually use contacts cases for lotions and those would work fine. I also have some small pill containers and small Rubbermaid containers for salad dressing that would work. Ziplocks might be the easiest thing here, though. I’d probably focus on just a few to bring- if you really think you need more, just mix up a couple common blends, like basil + oregano + thyme or whatever makes sense for your cooking.
Anonymous
If you are concerned about waste, a zillion ziplocs are going to use less plastic than any other solution I can think of.
Anon
+1
Anonymous
I would be uncomfortable carrying a bunch of baggies of stuff that looks kinda sorta almost like drugs. Yes I know a baggie of oregano does not actually look like w e e d, and a baggie of garlic/onion powder doesn’t look like [pick your powdered drug] but I would not feel all that confident that an overworked stressed TSA agent wouldn’t take a closer look at me. I’d feel more comfortable with something that looks like spices at a glance, at least if I were flying.
No Face
I’ve used small mason jars on road trips.
Anon
How many spices are you planning to bring? I think just bringing the full size containers would be easier than any other option unless you’re bringing, like, 20 bottles.
Anon
This.
Anon
I often participate in the AirBnB tradition of using the spices someone left there and leaving the spices I buy locally. No they’re not fancy.
Anonymous
Savory Spice packs spices in flat packs. I travel with a single ziploc containing a bunch of those.
Anonymous
Has anyone traveled in Germany? We’d be flying into Frankfurt but ideally would want to go to one or two cities in Germany after DH’s work obligation in Frankfurt is complete, yet it seems like Berlin and Munich are long train rides. Is it worth sticking around Frankfurt? Where else would you go? Our likes are pretty simple in that we look for big or at least medium walkable cities, luxury hotels, architecture and history, and getting coffee and baked goods and some minor shopping though don’t need ultra high end shopping or anything.
Kristina
Frankfurt is a bit anonymous–it does not feel particularly German, it just feels like a big city that could be anywhere in the world. Smaller cities/towns in Germany tend to feel more German. There are smaller suburbs of Frankfurt that might feel more special, like Darmstadt (where my great-grandfather was the head of a beautiful botanic garden…) Frankfurt is also near the beautiful Rhine valley, which is great for river cruises.
Anne-on
+1 to this. Frankfurt felt surprisngly bland and business-y to me, even with locals showing me around – they were very proud of the walkability of the city and the art (which was good!) but it didn’t have a strong character imho. In contrast I LOVED Berlin and enjoyed Munich as well.
If you aren’t sold in staying in Germany the Frankfurt airport is a great hub and very easy to use to go elsewhere on relatively short flights. I’d vote flying to Vienna or Prague!
Anon
+1 I’m anon at 4:03 and also did Vienna in a weekend from Frankfurt on a super easy flight.
OP, I think a lot of this comes down to how often you have been or see yourself coming back to this area. IMHO a lot of the smaller spots like Heidleberg being recommended are perfectly lovely; but if this is like a once or a couple of times in a lifetime trip and you have an interest in some of the bigger spots being thrown out I think there is enough of a difference for them to be worth it.
Anon
Frankfurt wouldn’t be the first place I’d go in Germany, but if you’re already there and don’t want to spend a lot of time traveling, I’m sure you can find interesting things to do (I mostly just wandered around a lot and went to a concert and a museum). I was there for work in Marburg, a university city that’s only about an hour away, so you could probably see it as a day trip. It has a castle, a river, and some interesting older architecture.
Anonymous
Frankfurt is great but I’d also do Cologne for the catheral and Heidelberg is not too far and quite lovely.
Anon.
Agreed on both of these. I’ll note that we rented a car while there a few years ago and had a great time exploring.
Anon
I spent a decent amount of time in Frankfurt years ago, and while it is perfectly fine I would not spend more time there than needed. Especially if architecture and history are your thing. You can explore what is worth it there while husband is at work obligations/together on those evenings.
You don’t say how long you have to explore after? I would personally find Berlin especially but also Munich worth the train ride, and I did both of those limited to a weekend but YMMV.
Anonymous
I live in Germany and advise spending as little time in Frankfurt as possible, as it’s just not very charming. There are plenty of nice places close to Frankfurt, though.
Heidelberg is beautiful, Worms is great if you’re into history, and a bit further south, Baden-Baden and Freiburg are also lovely. Alternatively, head north along the Rhine and visit the cities along the river and end up in Cologne.
Seafinch
I went to uni in Heidelberg and Freiburg and they are truly picture postcard towns. We also lived in Hamburg and I have to say I think it is a truly stunning city with so much to offer visitors. It doesn’t get the press that Munich and Berlin do, but all of our guests during our posting absolutely loved it and would agree. More canals than Venice or Amsterdam, stunning architecture and the terraced villages along Elbe (Blankenese is like Cinque Terre) are remarkable.
joan wilder
Agree with others around the anonymity of Frankfurt. I would take the train across the border to Strasbourg, which is a short easy trip and has a return trip straight to the Frankfurt airport.
Anon
+1 unpopular opinion probably, but none of the cities you mentioned wow-ed me. Both Berlin and Munich felt as anonymous and bland to me as Frankfurt. Also the food in Germany is not good. I would go to France.
Anon
Frankfurt is a bit anonymous and business-district. It is absolutely worth traveling elsewhere! And will be easy and accessible by train. I would go to Heidelberg, and consider a side trip to Strasbourg since it’s quite close.
Seventh Sister
Heidelberg is lovely, Strasburg too, but if you want something a little off the beaten track, Speyer has a really neat small city with an unusual cathedral and a lot of interesting museums.
AnonTX
For those fellow Texans who are calling our nutso legislators and want a script, here’s what I say.
“My name is _____ and I’m calling from [City and Zip] because I am in support of [banning assault weapons/gun control/a woman’s right to choose/safe and easy access to abortion]. The latter is easier when there’s an actual piece of legislation to mention.
Then I typically pepper with 1-2 details about my own life – e.g. I’m a parent, work in X industry, have school-aged nieces in nephews in public school and fear for their safety. I usually leave a message on voicemail or leave a message with whatever intern or legislative aide picks up the phone.
I also call their local offices – not the D.C. offices for those in Congress. Thankfully my Congress person is fantastic, but the Senate…well…y’all know.
anon
To the people asking for a script to call their Texas reps. I have a script. I’m not sure it’s great but if you’re reading it into a voicemail machine, it should get the job done. Hopefully this will help you or inspire you to craft something even better.
Cornyn: DC: 202-224-2934, a States office: 972-239-1310 website: cornyn dot senate dot gov
Cruz: DC: 202-224-5922, State office: 214-599-8749 website: cruz dot senate dot gov
“I am [name] and I am a constituent living in [town and zip code]. I’m calling to log my disgust and disappointment over the supreme court rolling back Roe. This decision and your support of this decision does not represent the values or desires of the majority of your constituents, including myself. The roll back of Roe is not in line with how the majority of people in this country feel about abortive service access. This decision will cause unnecessary suffering for the people you claim to serve and many more. This is unacceptable and cruel.
As my representative I’m calling to urge you to immediately pass legislation to codify the rights Roe afforded people who can get pregnant into law. I want to know your plan to craft policy to drive down infant and maternal mortality rates, bolster programs to support women, infants and young children, ensure better family leave for working parents, fully fund public schools so our state will be ready for the future. Texans deserve these measures at the very least.
As I know you are anti choice and most likely going to ignore these practical and actual life supporting requests, I’m committing to use my voice, my vote and my means to get you and other like you out of office.”
If you actually talk to a staffer, I think it’s perfectly acceptable to paraphrase this and let them know you’re not in agreement with what they support and SCOTUS is doing, that you want to see your representatives do something to help people for a change, and that you’re watching their response to this news and will remember their actions/inaction in November.
anon
THANK YOU! I am doing this today.
anon
Would add, as a former (Dem) staffer – DO NOT yell at the staff – they’re underpaid and working very hard, and have little to no influence over how their boss votes, other than to log your concern and that you’re a constituent.
Tina
I’d add on to this – be actively nice to the staff. When I was a staffer and people would say or write “thank you for all your hard work” or “it must be a busy time” or something acknowledging us it was so appreciated.
Horse Crazy
As another former staffer, thank you. Your message will not get to my boss any faster if you scream at me. And if I ask you to lower your voice and you keep screaming, your message won’t get to him at all, because I’m hanging up on you.
Seditious Conspiracy
Wow – is anyone listening to the hearings? They’re building a great case for seditious conspiracy for Meadows and Trump.
anon
Here’s hoping. I listened to part of Cassidy Hutchinson’s testimony, and it was quite compelling!
Anon
I’m wondering if anyone who isn’t already convinced is paying attention though….
Anon
Yeah I’m only vaguely following but people made up their minds long ago about this.
Anon
There a guy on social media who interviews trump supporters. He was showing them Ivanka testifying on his iPad. He started with “do you know who this is?” And they all identified her and talked about how great she is. Then he played a clip of her testimony basically saying she believed the Attorney General that the election was valid, and the Trump supporters either said they no longer liked her, or that the clip was altered and was fake.
There is no convincing them. It is a cult.
Anon
I know it won’t sway his base. Will it help with people who aren’t rabid fans but who are persuadable?
No Face
I think people on this site (and on the left generally) overestimate how much ordinary Republican voters knew about this stuff already.
Aunt Jamesina
Yes. What’s the German word for somehow feeling shocked, yet completely unsurprised?
Anon
I don’t know but I’m sure it’s very long.
Sunflower
I need to know this word.
Anon
Captain Renault
KJ
Trump will not be charged with anything. Everyone needs to accept this and move on. Nothing learned from the disastrous russiagate affair.
anon
Cool. I wonder how it will be after the cross examination. Oh wait, there’s no cross examination, is there?
Anon
That comes in a trial, which hopefully will come later. Thanks, tho.
Anon
Serious question: why are you here? We are obviously not “your people.”
Anon
Oh look a cult member.
Anonymous
It’s like Trump had FOMO on the storming the capital. He’d make himself King if he could figure out how to do it.
Grabbing the steering wheel? Dude my toddlers are better behaved. Such an embarrassment.
NYC Question
I don’t know NYC super well. I’m staying at the Kimberly Hotel soon for work. How is that area if I want to go for an early morning (6?) run or evening walk (8ish)? I’m a city girl, so I have strong street smarts, I just don’t know NYC neighborhoods all that well. I’m assuming it’s a reasonably safe area for a city, but is what I’m describing a bad idea for any reason?
NYCer
I have never heard of that hotel, but googled and see it is in midtown east. Midtown is a fine area safety wise. Taking an evening walk at 8pm should be totally fine (lots of people still at restaurants, going home from work, etc.), but I would personally be less inclined to go for a run at 6am around there. Midtown can be a little too empty for my tastes that early in the morning. (I am sure other people will say it is totally fine though! It is just my preference.)
Anon
I hadn’t heard of the Kimberly but I looked it up and it’s at 50th & 3rd? My in-laws live right near there and I’ve never felt unsafe. I don’t think I’ve ever been out at 6 am, but I’ve been out solo around 7-7:30 am on a weekend when it was pretty deserted and have been totally comfortable.
Senior Attorney
I’ve stayed there and enjoyed it. It’s in a very upscale neighborhood and you should be fine.
Anon
Rural living here and I stayed at the Kimberly on my one and only trip to NYC this past year. It was fine, I was comfortable walking from there to Central Park in the early morning by myself in workout clothes.
There was a cute little coffee shop near the park – Sip & Co – that I highly recommend.
DallasAnon
I just got back from NY and went to the Kimberly’s rooftop deck twice during my trip. It was very nice. I stayed at a different hotel in the same neighborhood and was out in the evening every day without issue.
Anon
When I travel to NY I usually stay in Midtown and one of my favorite things is a very early 6 am ish run. Especially this time of year when it is probably lightish out. Streets are empty so it’s nice to have full reign and not have to dodge people; kind of peaceful to see some normally touristy places deserted.
Judy
I was considering treating myself to a new apple watch for my 40th bday. I have the 3.0 version with rose gold as well. Any major differences you or others have noticed in newer versions? Worth the upgrade?
Anonymous
I just bought a 7. I cannot see any substantial differences from my 4.
Formerly Lilly
There’s a trade in credit. I traded a really old one and the new watch cost about $180.
Sasha
Only major difference is the newer versions can be cellular enabled, which would allow you to stream music, take calls, receive texts, etc. from the watch directly without your phone nearby. It’s a nice feature but not necessary imo unless you’re in a profession where you have to leave your phone somewhere a distance away during the work day.
Judy
Did you have to pay extra on your cell bill for this feature? My 3.0 did not have cellular because I did not want to pay the extra charges at the time.
Anonymous
Any ideas what a ballpark salary would be for an Associate General Counsel at a large public company?
Anon
Everyone calls their attorneys by different names. What is an AGC at that particular company, seniority-wise? Are they reporting directly into the GC? Several levels down? Where are they located?
(I’m in house at a large public company and a Senior Associate General Counsel is 4-5 levels down from the GC, which is why I ask).
OP
In the mountain west, reports to the Deputy General Counsel (who reports to the GC).
Anon
I report to an associate GC who reports to the GC (although my title is assistant GC). I’m at $200k, plus 20% bonus target, in the mid-Atlantic non-metro/LCOL area, fully remote. Not publicly traded but our foreign parent is.
Anonymous
Varies by geography. $200k plus bonus in non NYC markets?
Cat
This sounds about right to me – also would expect some of the comp to be in options.
Anon
I’m an attorney in a litigation role for the first time. I’ve had to do timekeeping before, but it was much less detailed and to be honest, accuracy didn’t really matter (and I still sucked at it).
What tips do you have for making it a habit to timekeep contemporaneously? What about when switching from .1 to .1 tasks over the course of an hour (calling and leaving VMs for clients, responding to matter-specific emails, etc)? Our timekeeping system does not have any timers, which is a tip I’ve seen on here before.
Anonymous
I’m not in litigation and get to do a lot of block billing, so keep that in mind. I write a “chicken scratch/rough draft” narrative throughout the day, and if I’m working for a client where more specific tasks are needed, add that in parentheses after the task.
I also finalize and release my time entries as the first thing I do at work each day. This also affords me the opportunity to clear out my emails related to that time entry/deal from the prior day and move them to the appropriate sub folder. When I’m on top of my time entries, it only take about 5-7 minutes in the morning.
Cat
it’s been awhile, but I would proactively start an entry for at least everything I expected to work on in a day, and then add to it as I went. I would always lose time if I waited and tried to remember the next day everything I did!
Anon
Do you enter your own time into the software or does an assistant do it?
When I was at a firm, my assistant would enter my time into the software. We didn’t have clocks, either, so I honestly had a post it system where I’d make notes about the time and shorthand of what I did. Then at the end of the day, I’d write it all on a piece of paper in a format she could read and give it to my assistant. This way I didn’t have to keep up with client numbers and billing codes. She’d call with questions. It was much MUCH MUCH easier to do daily.
Anon
No assistant. Nonprofit life. But jotting it down does seem easier than trying to use the system all day and then just inputting it end of day.
Anon
Yes! That’s what I would do because it’s easier for me to batch tasks like that and get in the grove with my work if I’m not stopping constantly to log it.
Anonymous
I enter time as soon as I do it. Send an email, enter time. Make a phone call, enter time.
Maybe your workplace is different than mine, but I have never been able to bill for a voicemail. And client would never pay for that.
Anon
Our opposing party is the government and if we win, they’re on the hook for attorney fees. So we bill everything and the court decides what’s reasonable.
Anon
Saw the morning thread re: IUDs. I was very surprised? Hormonal IUDs are way less of a hormonal intervention than BC pills or the implant (they’re localized vs systemic like pills and implant). Mine was painful for maybe 2.5 seconds during the insertion and then I had cramp-like symptoms for a day. This has been all of my friends’ experience in the last several years as well.
For the people who said it was worse than unmedicated childbirth, did you get the insertion a long time ago / which IUD did you get? I’m very confused by what a wide range there is. BC pills and condoms are also only 85-88% effective (slightly higher than pullout method), whereas the IUD is 99+% effective.
Anon
I know many women, including some who’ve given birth, who said insertion involved agonizing pain. Most recent one was just a few months ago. Also keep in mind that all your friends who get them are (presumably) sexually active. Even a basic pelvic exam and pap smear can be extremely painful for a girl who hasn’t had vaginal intercourse, so an IUD insertion is going to be much, much worse.
Both pills and condoms are a lot more than 88% effective if used correctly. There are also patches and implants that don’t require a daily pill. I also think condom use is very important for STDs, even if it’s not 100%.
But mainly I don’t think you “coerce” your teenage daughter into anything with respect to birth control. You talk to her about all her options, answer her questions, encourage her to talk to her doctor privately, etc. But you don’t make decisions about her body. A forced IUD is only slightly better than forced birth.
Anon
I know many women, including some who’ve given birth, who said insertion involved agonizing pain. Most recent one was just a few months ago. Also keep in mind that all your friends who get them are (presumably) sexually active. Even a basic pelvic exam and pap smear can be extremely painful for a girl who hasn’t had vaginal intercourse, so an IUD insertion is going to be much, much worse.
Both pills and condoms are a lot more than 88% effective if used correctly. There are also patches and implants that don’t require a daily pill. I also think condom use is very important for STDs, even if it’s not 100%.
But mainly I don’t think you “coerce” your teenage daughter into anything with respect to birth control. You talk to her about all her options, answer her questions, encourage her to talk to her doctor privately, etc. But you don’t make decisions about her body. A forced IUD is only slightly better than forced birth.
Anon
This. If she’s not actually sexually active and has never had a gyn exam before, I think it would feel pretty invasive. Give her the choice, certainly, and make sure she has access to plan B, but I don’t think I’d push this immediately.
Anon
I think there’s just a very wide range. Hardly any research goes into how to identify who will do well or poorly with these kinds of things. My friends have either had great experiences or wildly bad experiences even with the same devices.
Anonymous
This is not remotely true of (standard) BC efficacy. BC is 99%+ with perfect use and still 95%+ with “typical” use. Mini pill is down to 91% with “typical” use.
Seventh Sister
My friends and I have had a similarly good experience with IUDs, and we aren’t the sort who would hesitate to share bad medical experiences (GenX women’s college grads w/ an exceptionally graphic/profane text thread). Given the size of the group, it’s anecdata, but that doesn’t really bother me.
As for coercing a teenager, I *definitely* give her more leeway than my mom ever did when I was a teen in the 1990s, but I’m pretty free with my opinions about what medical stuff makes sense.
Anon
Mother Jones just did an article about this, most women I know who hadn’t had children had a very hard time.
Anon
+1 to most women who haven’t given birth having a hard time. My friend fainted from the pain during insertion. When I asked my OB (who knows firsthand how I moan and breathe deeply during routine paps) she said it’s nbd for some women but she told me it wasn’t right for me, lol.