Coffee Break: Craighill Tote

94 Comments

1. I have a weight loss question regarding my partner.

   Both of us are at the upper end of the “overweight” band of the BMI and definitely have a few lbs we could lose.

   Last night, he told me his clothes are getting tighter and he wants to do something about it. I told him I think he’s hot and I don’t think he needs to lose weight, but that I’m happy to help if he wants. He said he’d like that because he knows nothing about losing weight.

   I explained calories to him and sent him a few nutrition for beginners articles from a fitness website I like and trust (Nerd Fitness).

   Does anyone know of other ways I can help him? He probably does 60% of the cooking. He is a chef, so he understands food and composing meals, but he’s truly at ground zero for weight loss. (As a side note, I was shocked by that, considering all the dieting messaging women get from the time we’re so young!)

   1. Partner recently tipped into the obese category for BMI, so, yay, eligible for Plaxlovid at least, and I hear the same thing. He seems to think that he needs to throw $$$ at a nutritionist but, dude, if you say you know that those Twinkies are like the worst thing you can eat and you make a separate trip to the store to buy them (b/c I won’t), why waste the $?

      1. Idk but you sound so nasty here. Like maybe a professional can help him explore that choice and find healthier options without being openly hostile like you?

         1. She doesn’t sound hostile or nasty she sounds realistic

         2. She sounds completely reasonable.

      2. but: I’ve seen people comparing “diet/healthy foods” to regular foods and the stats aren’t that different for calories. Reeses PB cups, ice cream sandwiches, etc, etc.

         but agree, i’ve never once had a good experience with a nutritionist.

      3. lol I thought Plaxlovid was a new weight loss drug as used in context here

      4. Can he throw $$$ at a physician? Even if his A1C is fine, his glucose tolerance may not be. (Not sure what country this is, but 1/3 US adults is at least prediabetic, though the majority are unaware.)

         1. In almost every case, the best therapy for prediabetes is weight loss. You can throw $$$ at a physician to have them tell you this, but there really isn’t a need. Multiple trials have shown that lifestyle changes outperform metformin in this respect.

            1. You’re not going to have an easy time losing weight if insulin levels are running high though. I needed to learn what spikes my blood glucose. I had to do it the hard way with finger prick testing, but these days some people get a continuous blood glucose monitor and just test their whole diet for a week to see what’s working and what’s not.

               So many of the healthy, low calorie, low-fat foods that we were often taught are a good foundation for a weight loss diet spike my blood glucose badly. Calorie dense foods actually keep it more stable. So it’s not intuitive at all.

   2. Grocery shop and meal plan together.

      1. I have tried this. It is really just a chore. He gets it in theory but there is zero follow through. Or he goes overboard on healthy and then is hungry and then night binges / Ambien eats. Ugh. Curious b/c it’s a problem in our house (his words).

         1. Keep whatever he night binges on out of the house. Take meal delivery apps off your phones. Focus on small sustainable changes like aiming to fill half your plate with veggies at each meal before adding the carbs and protein – it’s a permanent change not a ‘diet’ bandwagon.

         2. Yeah, sorry, I can advise OP with the chef partner but not your husband. Best of luck.

      2. Thank you! I was hoping no one would say that only because I hate grocery shopping (mostly joking). I do think this is the way for a few weeks at least.

         1. You can push the burden mostly onto him, and then just tag along grocery shopping and remind him to stick to the list!

   3. I’m on a weight loss journey and as lazy as a dude about it. Here’s what works for me.

      Have home track his weight daily. Eat goal body with x12 in calories and goal body weight .6 in grams of protein per day. Intermittent fasting helps for a lot of people; I was hungry for the first week but now I’m not.

      Walk every day and lift weights 2x per week. Consistency is more important than intensity. Good luck.

   4. I am going to go against the popular wisdom here (“just eat healthy and exercise”). While that works for weight maintenance, I have never once had it work for weight loss.

      Losing weight requires a calorie deficit and for me that requires a plan. There are a lot of commercial plans that work for different people at all ranges of expense and effort. For someone with no experience with weight loss, a meeting with a nutritionist is not a bad place to start. A nutritionist could help identify which system best fits his lifestyle and health issues.

      As an example, I tried WW and it did not work at all for my life (too much travel, too many meals out and I HATED the measuring and point calculation) while South Beach worked like a charm. But South Beach is not for everyone. I have a friend who lost a lot of weight on Jenny Craig but she hates to cook and was replacing fast food with frozen meals and side salads. That would probably not be the best fit for someone who likes to cook and meal plan. If he really is starting with no background knowledge, professional help would be a good first step. That is particularly true if he is a chef because he probably uses a lot of oil and butter in his cooking!

      1. This is a great point. And yes, he uses a ton of butter and especially oil without seeming to internalize that this adds calories. I will talk to him about this option and see if he’s interested.

         1. Make sure he is aware that every tablespoon of fat is about a 100 calories. There are more nuanced versions of that, but someone who is on their feet in the kitchen knocking out meals, “a spoonful of fat is 100 calories” is a good metric to have in your head.

         2. I would recommend Mark Bittman’s recipes/approach in VB6 (vegan before 6) if he likes to cook…. Doesn’t have that fake food taste/feel, and I’ve learned a lot of useful vegan techn that are also healthier (also via Purple Carrot, if you want to try a free weeks of vegan meal kits). I’m not a vegan fwiw!

      2. WW worked for me but I had a list of set meals I clicked on vs tracking individual items. It’s a bit of a pain in the initial set up but I’m much more likely to click ‘roast chicken at grandma’s with cake’ vs. enter each item individually.

   5. Since he’s a chef, I would focus on eating meals and not snacking between meals unless it is veggies. Info on portion control can also help. Many people don’t realize that a serving of pasta is about one cup. Many restaurants serve 2 or even 3 cup portions.

      Water and sleep are also important. Adding in small amounts of physical activity can also help – chose the stairs over the elevator at work – even if you can only do 2 flights and then take the elevator the next 6 flights or whatever.

      We don’t keep soda or sugary drinks in the house. We buy snacks like potato chips in smaller packages vs keep them constantly on hand. Like last night DH and I split a beer and an individual sized bag of chips. I find it much easier to make these decisions at the grocery store vs resisting to eat the stuff that is in my house because that’s more like having to make the decision not to eat it multiple times a day instead of just once at the store.

      Don’t try to change everything at once. Pick one change for this week and stick with it. Then add another change for next week so you build the healthy habits.

      I’m currently dealing with parents who have obesity related health issues. Seeing those issues upfront is a real motivator for me to try and avoid those issues as I age.

   6. You just now explained calories to a grown man?

      1. I mean, he knows about calories as a concept, but I guess I mean I explained CICO (calories in vs calories out) to him. I don’t think everyone realizes how important that concept is in weight loss or that certain things, like oil, have way more calories than one might realize. He’s been more focused on taste his whole life rather than really considering that a PB&J before bed adds a lot.

         1. yikes! PB and J is a meal not a snack!

            Adding and exploring cooking with new kinds of veggies can be a great way to have great taste without a lot of calories. And even just reducing slightly can make a big impact. Like can he roast the carrots with 2 tbsp. of olive oil and fresh garlic instead of a 1/4 cup of olive oil. Greek food may be good cooking inspiration for time. Mediterranean food tastes great but is generally healthy.

         2. My friends are doing WW and I know it’s not something that would work for me because I cook most of my food without meal planning and I also don’t follow recipes. One thing that helped me improve my diet was actually to look at WW points for different foods and to use an online calculator to figure out what my WW point goal would be. It was enlightening to see the number of points for oil, butter and nuts relative to my budget. Somehow my points clicked more for my brain than calories.

            1. I’m confused why WW didn’t work because you didn’t meal plan or use recipes? I just tell siri to add stuff in to count the points as I’m going? I tend to siri vs click on the ingredients so I don’t have to stop and wash my hands if I’m handling food directly.

            2. I am an android user and so no siri, I also cook with lot of random Indian ingredients and would have to spend time finding equivalents that are in some database.

   7. Does he use reddit? If so, there’s a lot of subreddits where he can learn this info himself, like CICO, loseit, and probably others.

      1. volumeeating is another great reddit resource. Both volume eating and some of the keto concepts helped my husband lose 27 pounds. We do weigh and measure things like oil, dressing, butter, nuts, cheese, and meats, but not veggies or fruit. What helped him was finding several meals that we can make on rotation that feel satisfying. He enjoys a big plate of food, so volume eating really works.

         1. Yes, volumeeating was the one I knew I was forgetting!

   8. Have him pay attention to how sated foods make him feel. Chips and such do nothing to curb my hunger, but the same calories in hummus or cheese does wonders.

      Do some weight lifting – muscle burns more energy at rest than fat does.

   9. There is a ton of conflicting messages about weight loss and a lot of downright scams, so I don’t think it is strange that an adult does not know how to actually lose weight. Using the LoseIt App and dramatically increasing my fitness level is what worked for me.

   10. Weight watchers might be a good place to start. It was the only thing that Actually worked for me.

   11. For an adult chef with zero diet awareness, I would personally think that some sort of low carby thing might be a way to start. Unless, I guess, he’s a pastry chef or baker or somebody who’s food creativity is mainly connected to sugary treats. (Nothing wrong with that creativity, but it would be a hurdle.)

       If he can do a lower or more complex carb along with eating great protein, filling fats, lots of interesting veg and spices, and drop any mindless sugar (not the I CRAVE THEE things, just the ohyeahthatone things), he’ll be miles ahead on a track where he can choose what he wants to focus on going forward.

       As a chef though, you might have to actually remind him that restaurant level food is a treat, not an everyday diet.

   12. I know several people who learned a ton about how to eat and lose weight through Noom, which might be useful to him, and a way to help without having to be more involved than you want to be.

   13. Try the app Noom. It talks through basic nutrition, and is food positive for a person who likes to cook.

   14. He should make an appointment with his PCP and ask about weight loss programs or clinics. My husband’s PCP got him into a weight loss clinic which involved lots of learning about calories and healthy eating, ongoing consults with a nutritionist, a fitness tracker, and other great stuff. He’s lost 20 lbs so far and I’m learning a lot about healthy eating too. Each person has their own cravings and the nutritionist really helped my husband figure out what alternative foods would satisfy the cravings but be healthier for him.

2. Fun cheap or free ideas for hanging out with friends? I’m trying to cut out all spending that doesn’t feel meaningful, and one big category is dinner/drinks nights. Some ideas I have: inviting people over for tea and scones, movie nights, and hosting dinner at home. Any others?

   1. I often find that entertaining at home js more expensive than scoring a happy hour deal, fwiw.

      1. 100% more expensive to host if you’re supplying the food and drinks.

         1. And even if you’re not – it can be cheaper to get 2 glasses of wine at happy hour vs 1 bottle. Less wine , yes but I never need a full bottle in my house

   2. I feel like if you spend time outside hiking, etc., the food gets simple. Beer is cheap. Beer.

   3. My friends and I like taking walks, picnics in the park and game nights at home.

      A few friends and I have a once a month traveling dinner party. The host makes the main and everyone else brings sides, apps, desserts, or wine.

      Every Monday I gather with friends for the bachlorette.

      I’ve joined a few rec basketball and soccer teams with friends. $50 for the season (7 weeks) and we get exercise and social time

      Many of my friends and I spent more on our apartments with balconies so we can entertain there.

      I would say that entertaining at home can definitely add up, so be mindful of that.

      I like to go to the gym early , which encourages me to go to bed early which means I don’t stay out late on weeknights. This means on Thursdays when I go to happy hour I bow out after a few drinks.

      I also like having standing plans so I know what I’m doing and am less tempted to make plans to grab dinner. For example, on Mondays I watch the bachlorette, on Tuesdays I stay in and do grad school work and run errands, on Wednesday I have rec sports and occasionally grab a drink after, Thursday is the dinner party or happy hour. Fridays and Saturday’s are for whatever I want, Sundays are for grad school work, chores and errands, and tennis and dinner with my family.

   4. We do board game nights at someone’s house (or at least we did, pre-pandemic)

   5. A lot of museums and galleries will have free evenings.

   6. Poker nights or board game nights
      Watch parties for TV events
      Meet up at free outdoor events like farmers markets or street fairs
      Meet up for coffee
      Go to a minor league or local college sports game (cheap tickets!)

   7. Go for a walk in the park, botanic gardens, by the river, lake or sea.
      See a free art exhibition.
      Play a friendly game of soccer or tennis or hackey-sack!
      Volunteer dog walking at a shelter.
      Volunteer to help is someone’s garden.
      Thrift shopping for fun.

      Tea and scones sounds good too!

   8. Potluck at each other’s homes. We do it for football games, dinners, playdates.

      We also meet at outdoor plays/live music/festivals. Local parks often have movie nights.

3. For fun podcasts, UsefulCharts has some interesting history podcasts where they use some math to show that we are all related to each other. So, if you have one European ancestor, you are a descendant of Charlemagne. Yay! We are, as Lorde says, royals. Long live all of us queens!

4. This is awesome. It is taking 6 days from V1 of COVID in the house for V2 of COVID to test positive. It could be a LSAT question: when will take V5 in a 5-person house to test + (and by that time, could V1 catch it again)? Ugh. I’m still negative. Bonus for extra credit: how many COVID tests will we go through before we know with certainty that we can stop testing?

   1. what…..

      1. V = Victim

      2. It’s our slightly incomprehensible stream-of-consciousness poster. I would say they must be using talk-to-text, but talk-to-text would not put in all these parentheses!

         I *think* they are asking: in a five-person household, when patient zero brings Covid home, what is the average time for the whole household to be in the clear? I don’t have that answer, sorry. Take whatever precautions you can and test away.

         Anecdotally, I caught Covid on a work trip in July and delayed my travel home by five days, testing negative shortly after my return. No one in my household caught it. Everyone was fully vaxxed but my 4yo, who had had one shot.

         1. Yeah it’s so annoying. Just read your posts OP! And edit them.

   2. No, the first person won’t catch it again from the last person in your house to get it. Most people getting reinfected are getting new variants. Even a slightly different variant like BA.4 vs. BA.5 can be enough to get reinfected. But your household all has the same exact variant so there won’t be reinfection.

      1. Although they are “exposed” the whole time, so they be mandatorily masked along with the rest of you even though that person recently recovered.

         1. Omg can we stop

         2. I don’t think the CDC suggests masks just because you’ve been exposed? If it’s a school or company policy to mask after exposure, I agree everyone in the household including recently recovered people should mask.

            1. Agree with this. I got flamed a few months ago, but there’s nothing different about Covid in September 22 that makes two KN-95s, goggles, and gloves unnecessary. Yes, I’m vaxxed and triple boosted, but I’m immunocompromised and this is a GLOBAL PANDEMIC people.

         3. Why are recently recovered people to be masking?

   3. So weird

   4. To save on Covid tests, consider pooled testing. You can buy nasal swabs on Amazon, and combine several family members’ swabs in one vial of test solution. If the pooled test turns up positive, you’ll repeat with separate vials for everyone to identify the positive person.

5. Does anyone have a good app that takes your body measurements and shows you how your figure is changing? Curious before I think about that Slimpal tape measure…

   1. I feel like an old-fashioned measuring tape is hella useful. Or for these purposes, that and an unforgiving pair of pants.

      1. Yep. Posted about my weight loss above but Monday is white pants day. They’re getting looser!

   2. MeThreeSixty is very cool for this. Not super precise but a useful tool. And the occasional failed scan is hilarious.

6. I’m moving into a new rental – main bedroom has pale gray carpet, white or pale ivory walls, and light brown beams (not pale oak but not dark brown – just regular brown? Like a golden brunette color? I’m bad at this)

   I am getting a new, king size bed and frame or platform or some kind of headboard. Interested in any suggestions re:which bed, frame/platform thing, and color choices for bedding! My budget all-in is $1k (I’m ok with a mattress in a box or watching super sales for a frame or platform). I think I’d like to avoid all gray tones as it seems a little dated? But other than that, I’m open!

   1. I think you can never go wrong with all white bedding. Pops of a darker color like navy might be good with what you describe. For a rental, I’d do a cheaper headboard. Maybe a linen covered one?

   2. I have a grey and beige and ivory color scheme in my bedroom and find it pretty soothing. I have this bed.

      https://www.potterybarn.com/m/products/astoria-storage-headboard-bed/?pkey=s%7ERosedale%7E13

      It is outside your budget, but I mention it because I think it might be the right tone of wood and the way it is finished, it has some grey tones in it but it is not grey. You might look for a less expensive bed in mango wood if it is close in tone. (I needed this particular bed for practical/space reasons or I would never have spent so much, but it is solid and worth it for me.) My bedding is a classic Laura Ashley Victoria pattern in beige with grey accent blankets and pillows. The rug is mottled neutrals plus a smaller ivory rug. My dressers are grey. The walls are a beige/camel color.

      1. Sorry, I missed that you are renting. Wirecutter actually ranks platform beds. You might want to check there.

   3. Since you are renting and the colors in the room are pretty neutral anyway, just get something you live rather than trying to match the style of the room (assuming you won’t be living there forever. Nothing will really “clash” with grey and ivory, even if it doesn’t perfectly coordinate.

   4. Tatami Room has amazing platform beds in a few stains within your price range. Look at ads for the Thuma platform bed and its Japanese joinery (same idea, but I wanted a real headboard, more style options, and the lower price point).

7. I’m trying to plan a 2-day trip to Chicago on Veterans Day weekend (Nov. 12ish) — what should we do? We’d prefer to eat outside if possible, love stylish restaurants and bars and tasty food, and we definitely want to do the architectural boat tour thing.

   1. Chicago can be damn cold in November. I wouldn’t count on getting to do the boat tour or dine outside.

   2. It will be pretty dang cold by then. I’d rethink plans for eating outdoors and the boat tour

   3. It will be cold. I’m not even sure the boat tours still run in November? Same for outdoor dining – at this point in the pandemic will restaurants in cold climates still do year round outdoor dining? Probably not. Even last year it was way less common than it was the first Covid winter.

   4. I got married in Chicago over Veterans Day weekend a few years ago, and it snowed the day after our wedding. Our guests were mostly from the mid-Atlantic and northeast and were not prepared for the cold. Weather that time of year can be fickle so I wouldn’t plan on eating outside or doing an architecture tour unless its unseasonably warm.

   5. I went to a wedding in Chicago that same weekend and it was snowing so… don’t have visions of a “warm but crisp fall day” in mind when planning your itinerary!

   6. I was in Chicago for 3 days in May and had an great time thanks to all of the awesome suggestions from my fell ‘rettes! I did the architectural boat tour with the Chicago Architecture Foundation (it’s a nonprofit) and the boats have heated, indoor rooms. Also saw a musical, an improv show at The Second City (where improv was born), went to the Art Institute and the Science Museum (the coal mine and submarine experiences were well worth the visit), and ate a lot of delicious food. I highly recommend a walking tour called “Dazzling Interiors” from a company called “Inside Chicago.” Have fun!

   7. It snows in Chicago on my birthday fairly frequently. My birthday is in early May… I love many things about this city but the weather is not one of them.

      1. Oops meant to be a reply to Cat about the snowy November wedding.

   8. I’ll dissent and say it will be fine if you’re willing to bundle up. The boat tours do run in November (they stop around Thanksgiving, I think) and there are a lot of restaurants with heaters and/or covered patios where you can dine outdoors as long as it’s above freezing.

      1. I’m a Chicago-area resident and I’ll join your dissent and say that the odds of it being “too cold” are about even with the odds of it being “unseasonably warm” in mid-Nov. I’d give it a go. Lot of outdoor restaurant seating (bring warm boots and a good coat/hat/gloves) and other great stuff to do (museums, etc) while masked.

         After Thanksgiving, it’s definitely cooler on average, and just avoid Jan/Feb. I also feel that Mar/Apr are usually more volatile temperature wise than late fall. Late fall is just sweater weather! :)

   9. Yep, we’re willing to bundle up and hoping for heaters – covid cautious. Where are our best bets for heated covered outdoor spaces?

      I went to college bear Chicago so I know the weather can be unpredictable.

   10. For covered outdoor dining, I’d look at West Loop/Fulton Market–specifically Randolph street west of the highway (“Restaurant Row” as its called), and then the parallel stretch of Fulton Street to the north. In River North, there’s a high concentration of trendy restaurants between LaSalle, Dearborn, Ohio, and the river and some of those have probably held on to their heated outdoor set ups–but I have found the quality of food in that area to be overall not as good as what you’ll find in West Loop.

8. Air fryers–what do you use your’s for and give me recipe ideas. My in laws gifted us one months ago and it’s been sitting unused on our countertop because I’m not really sure what I’m supposed to do with it.

   1. It’s excellent for almost all vegetables, heating or toasting sandwiches, and it’s my preferred reheating option for most foods. I

   2. I donated mine because we couldn’t figure out anything to cook in it that made storing such a large appliance worth it. And the quantity it could make at one time was laughably small. I guess if the entire household wanted to air fry leftover tater tots in half-servings one at a time it might work, but meanwhile the first batch has gone cold by the time the last batch is done.

   3. I use mine to air fry frozen shrimp (olive oil + seasoning) and Trader Joe’s frozen snacks like samosas.

9. For everyone who was wondering who has planned the Queen’s funeral, etc. and what all goes into it, @eholmes on Instagram (royal watching, not Theranos) does have an interesting post on the person behind it all today.

   1. Is that a follower’s only post? I don’t look at Instagram a lot, but when I tried to look at this channel, it was a picture of a sort of of Disney princess lady with a headband sitting on stairs, and then it disappeared behind the non-logged-in-blanked-page.

      1. If you weren’t logged in, then no, you couldn’t view it.

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