Coffee Break – Foiled Metallic Skinny Belt

Foiled Metallic Skinny BeltSometimes, an unusual skinny belt is just what you need to elevate an otherwise boring outfit. For example, I think this foiled metallic skinny belt from Express would look really great with, say, navy trousers, a navy cardigan, with perhaps a bit of a purple tank or blouse sticking out. Oooh, or a gray-on-gray ensemble (using different shades of gray)… a lot of fun can be had for just $17.43, which is what the belt is marked to (was $25). Express actually has a number of metallic skinny belts on sale — a snakeskin embossed metallic skinny belt in pink, white and purple for $14, and a simple metallic skinny belt in white, cobalt, and jewel green, also for $14. For my $.02, this slightly dull metallic turquoise wins the day, but that’s me. Foiled Metallic Skinny Belt



  1. To Bluejay :

    Thanks for brightening up my Monday. If you have any tips/observations on how abaya lady managed her biking, please share!


    • Hi Ru! I was damn impressed. I would have had that abaya completely shredded/wrapped up in the chains. She seemed to have long pants on under the abaya, because it was pulled up a bit but didn’t show leg. I did note that she wasn’t wearing a helmet, probably because they don’t make one that fits over hijab – maybe there’s a market for a new invention?

      • True story: I had to try on more than 10 different bike helmets at Modell’s because NONE OF THEM FIT MY LARGE HEAD. But that may be due to the fact that they had to cut me out of my mom than the hijab.

        • I (5’3″) wear a larger hat size than my 6’2″ stepfather, and I have since I was 12. My mom had a c-section, so no horror stories there, thank goodness.

          • Perhaps tmi, but both of my kids have always had heads in the 99%percentile, and I did not have a c-section. Yep. The nurse measured my sons head and said to me, Oh you poor thing.

          • @Anon You are superwoman. That is all.

          • Thanks, I like to think so! :-) it took a good four weeks before I felt even somewhat back to normal “down there”. No one warned me that it could take that long! So ladies, consider this a public service announcement. You might think your baby’s big head broke your [email protected]@, but you just need to give it some time, everything will get back to normal.

        • I am 5’2″ and wear an XL motorcycle helmet. My husband, 6’0″ wears a M. When I got measured, the guy didn’t believe me, but once he had the measuring tape, he went “whoa.” Nice. And the helmet still feels tight.

      • L from Oz :

        Complete chain guard, and a skirt/coat guard on the back wheel. Then there’s nothing to get caught in. Oh, and make sure the longest garment is loose enough so you can get on the bike and have the fabric fall back where it should. Straight up-and-down cuts are not your friend here. I have ankle length skirts that I can only cycle in by hitching them up, which I think would defeat the purpose of an abaya.

        And you can get helmets with adjustable dials on the back (maybe all of them do – no idea!) to make them big enough to fit lots of fabric under. I have a thin winter hat I wear under mine, and I daresay I could manage with something thicker. It might be a problem if you’ve got lots of hair though.

  2. Oh and can somebody repost all of Seattlite’s contact info? Hope you feel better soon!

  3. Tips on phone interviews? I have one this week and have only done one before that did not go well

    • e_pontellier :

      Stand up! Have water with a straw on the desk in case you get thirsty. Have your resume, the job app, any other notes, and a blank notepad in front of you. I put my laptop away because it distracts more than it helps. We’ve had a discussion or two on here about that previously, so thanks to everyone else for those tips! Hope they help, OP.

    • You don’t have to necessarily wear a suit, but prepare yourself professionally – iron your clothes, wash your face, brush your teeth, make sure that you’re well-put together. It helps you stay focused. Have a copy of the job description and any notes about your research on the company nearby, plus a list of questions to ask them and something on which to take notes. Good luck!

    • 8/21 post on phone interviews. This site.

    • successful phone interviewer :

      This might sound a little nuts, but for my dream job phone interview, I actually dressed up in a suit and heels to take the call, just as I would for an in-person interview. It made me feel on my game. I second the advice about standing up. Keep your resume and writing sample handy. Also, ask for the names of all your interviewers (I’d do this in advance, and maybe even Google them. Why not? They are doing the same to you!) The reason for trying to identify them beforehand is that it gets confusing when there are several people talking to you. Once or twice I have needed to look up some documents on my computer during the interview, but if you’d find that unnecessary or distracting, just don’t use the computer.

    • Smile!

      Take notes & refer to them (but look up before you start talkig) try to match names to voices.

    • lawsuited :

      Be especially careful to talk slowly. After a question is asked, take a few seconds of silence to think about your answer, give your answer (smiling and moving your hands while you talk can help make you sound more genuine), and then STOP talking. Rambling is the bane of telephone interviews – the interviewer can’t give you visual cues that she understands your answer so you may feel you have to repeat yourself, and the interviewer can’t see your emphatic and passionate body language, so your answer just comes off as mildy crazy.

  4. Chicago meetup! :

    Let’s vote on a day and location! I’ve set up an anonymous poll here:

    I’m suggesting two days: Tuesday, Sept 25 or Thursday, Sept 27. I’ve set the kick off time in the poll as 5:30pm. I know this will be too early for some, but I (at least) plan to be there until at least 8pm.

    Primebar, Rittergut Wine Bar and 312 Chicago were repeat nominations for place, and so became finalists. Thanks to everyone for their suggestions!

    Winning time and place to be announced tomorrow and will be reposted periodically until the actual day. I’m really looking forward to meeting you all!

    ChicagoC o r p o r e t t e at gmail dot com

  5. I am a banana. :

    Does anyone have experience with having a bridesmaids dress professionally dyed?

    I have two floor length crinkle silk chiffon dresses, in completely unwearable in real life colors, and I would love it if they could magically turn black so that I could recover some of my $800. My tailor can’t do it and the internet is being less than helpful. I’m in SF but am happy to send them off somewhere.

    • a passion for fashion :

      what is an unwearable real life color? I feel like there really are not any colors i wouldnt ever wear, especially in a gown.

      • momentsofabsurdity :

        I think a lot of colors tend to skew “bridesmaid,” or may be a color she just doesn’t like/look good in but sucked it up for her friend, the bride. There’s a particular shade of pale lavender purple that looks super bridesmaid to me, whenever I see it.

      • I am a banana. :

        Bright pink and bright lavender/purple. They definitely skew “bridesmaid” – it’s not that they aren’t pretty. I just can’t pull off a floor length bright pink dress in my real life.

        • What size? I love bright colors… maybe you could sell them?

        • Any way you could cut it off and have a fun pink party dress? That’s one of the things I liked about my bridesmaids dresses. They were actually a suit so they could have the skirt shortened into a pencil skirt, or they could wear the jacket separately with black.

    • The woman at Young House Love dyed her white wedding dress. It was meant to come out black but ended up sort of a silver gray color. I think Sally at Already Pretty has also posted some tutorials on dyeing.

      I would do some googling, if you are going to DYI, because although these bloggers used RIT Dye, I know I saw somewhere that there are much better dyes out there, especially if the fabric you are dyeing is synthetic.

      • I am a banana. :

        Really don’t want to DYI, but since I’ll never wear these again if I can’t find someone to do it professionally, I might have to start figuring it out.

        • have you checked with a shoe repair/cobbler? They sometimes dye shoes or have them sent out to dye them. Might be a resource.

        • Can you call around to local bridal shops to see if they do this kind of thing or can refer you?

        • these are all good places to check. If there’s a fashion or art program at a local school, students could probably recommend some one or do it for you. (re-dye my stained peacoat for a grade, yes please!)

          If it’s a synthetic fabric it might not be possible to redye it, but black is definitely the easiest color. DYI is really easy, just read the directions on the package and make sure you get full even coverage.

        • Yeah, come to think of it, it could be difficult if you don’t have access to a laundry sink and washing machine. I bet at most shared laundry rooms, management wouldn’t look too kindly on using the machines for a dye job.

        • I am a banana. :

          Thank you for all of the suggestions! I feel like I’m going to be able to get my money’s worth out of these now.

        • If you do decide to DIY, check out Dharma Trading Co. for dyes. There are much better dyes out there than RIT, especially if the fabric is a synthetic.

        • Just saw this comment about not wanting to DIY. I found this professional dye service in a quick online search (I haven’t used them before) so I guess they’re out there!

    • Sydney Bristow :

      Wow, no advice but I am so thankful that none of the brides I’ve ever been a bridesmaid for chose an $800 bridesmaid’s dress!

      • SF Bay Associate :

        I think they were $400 each, and she had to buy one for two weddings. That’s still crazy expensive to my mind.

      • I am a banana. :

        They were $300 each and then I had to pay another $100 for shipping and hemming/alterations. It’s a sore subject, this whole year for me has been like that SITC episode where Carrie gets fed up and registers for Manolos. I want to do that. I’m happy for all of my friends…and my wallet and I are both so happy that this year of endless weddings is almost over.

        • yep, it’ll be over… just in time for The Year Of Baby Showers!!!
          .. and then soon it’ll be The Year of Second Weddings!!!!
          you have so much to look forward to! ;o)

    • If the chiffon is polyester, it will not hold dye well, but you should be able to over-dye silk chiffon or any other natural fibre relatively easily yourself or with the help of a crafty friend. (I used to be a costumer, so am asked to help friends with this sort of thing on the regular.) It is very, very difficult to over-dye to a true black, but another dark colour like navy, purple, or grey would be successful on natural fibres.

  6. A lot of my new maternity clothing involves empire- waisted dresses with ties or sashes, though I’m not crazy about the sash swinging around all day. I wonder if I could try replacing them with a belt like this? (something that I don’t already own because I’m far too short waisted to really make good use of belts in my normal-bodied life) Hmm, what color do I want?

    • IMHO belts and pregnant bellies don’t mix. That would be a strange look.

      • I’ve seen a few dresses with belts that sit above the bump, and I think that they look nice like that – I just haven’t liked the dresses for other reasons.

    • PharmaGirl :

      I’ve seen belts work with pregnant bellies, worn above the bump. It doesn’t look as good as a ‘normal’ figure wearing a belt but it’s far better than the ugly sashes attached to every d*mn maternity shirt.

    • One of my friends wore skinny belts above the bump with shift dresses and it looked adorable on her. I think it’d work with empire waists too so long as the belt aligned with the waist seam.

    • I have seen some of the pregnant attorneys in my office pull the skinny-belt-above-baby-bump look off smashingly.

    • Also in Academia :

      I wish I’d thought of that! I hated those sashes. I am having a baby, not being one, so I don’t need a bow on everything.

    • I wore a ton of skinny belts with things when pregnant. I mostly belted those swingy waterfall cardigans and empire waisted dresses over leggings on the weekend. It worked wonderfully until about 6 months pregnant or so, when I had a bump but it wasn’t yet very large. Mentally it helped me feel more pregnant and not just huge.

      • Ok, I can see this working. I was envisioning more of a third trimester belly, which was when I was forced to wear all of the shirts with the sashes. But if lyssa gets rid of her sashes, then she’s not going to be able to use the shirt when the belly gets big. Just doesn’t make much sense I me, but to each her own.

        I hate maternity clothing, so I feel all of ya on that.

  7. Someone may have already posted this in a thread I haven’t had time to read today but . . . Top Shop at Nordstrom is live!

    • Ooh, thanks for the tip. At almost-31 and medium fat, I can’t pull off leather-look leggings, can I?

      • At 31 and medium fat myself, I’m considering it! I might try cheap jeggings + a bar of fabric wax, though, since I can’t imagine I’d get a chance to wear shiny denim all that often.

      • I think so if you can pull off leggings in general. The leather look doesn’t make a difference IMO.

        • At 31 and medium who can pull off leggings, leather leggings or waxed jeans look horrible on me, like I’m trying WAY too hard. I’d pass. just like those jeans posted on the weekend thread. . . unless your 19 and a stick, I think we all look sort of ridiculous in them.

      • Totally co-opting the phrase “medium fat”!

      • Depends on whether you like the way leggings look on you. If you do, fatness or thinness has nothing to do with whether you can pull off the look or not.

        I’m a believer in the idea that most bodies can pull off most looks, if only the colors, proportions, and styling are done right.

  8. Anon in PNW :

    Please help me.

    I just lost out on my dream house because I am a single woman, and it has cut me to the core.

    Backstory: I moved to Seattle in May for a new job. I’ve been living out of a suitcase for 4 months, living in a studio, and bidding on homes with no luck. I have a wonderful partner who cannot follow me here, and we cannot start our lives together or have children, until we find a place to live. This past weekend I found THE house. I put together a stellar offer that was the best offer. I attended both open houses with a measuring tape and measured every inch of the floorplan. My partner participated via Skype, and spent hours planning the kitchen redo. Last night, we were overjoyed to get the news that our offer was accepted!!! The buyer’s agent said that she was sending the signed paperwork over. By 11PM it hadn’t come, but I assumed it was on the way. It took hours before my giddiness wore off enough to fall asleep.

    An hour ago, I got a call from my agent. The sellers asked their agent to call a YOUNG FAMILY whose offer was less than mine, and ask if they would match my offer. They did, so I lose.

    I am so devastated you guys. This house is where I wanted to set down roots and start a family. I’ve looked for months, and lost multiple bids. It feels like a slap in the face that I lose just because I wasn’t lucky enough to be married yet. I cannot start a family until I have a place to live, but apparently I cannot persuade a seller to sell to me until I have a family.

    • Divaliscious11 :

      That sounds illegal…. I don’t think you can discriminate for or against based upon marital status or having or not having children….. They and their agent are likely in the wrong here….

      • AnonyMiss :

        This sounds wrong to me to. Plus, they can’t solicit a counteroffer if they accepted one, can they?

    • I agree that that sounds fishy – I don’t think an agent can discriminate based on family status. You probably can’t do anything to get the house, but I sure as heck would file a complaint against the agent with the real estate licensing authority.

    • Blonde Lawyer :

      I’d contact an atty pronto as that sounds illegal.

    • I’m so sorry to hear that this happened to you. I remember how crushed I was when I placed a bid on a house that had been on the market for 7 months before I found and fell in love with it, only to have 3 other people outbid me that same week.

      Seattle dot gov has pretty good informational brochure on housing discrimination that you might want to check out. Family status is a protected class, and there’s a list of fair housing agencies you can contact for help.

      Read more:

    • Anon in PNW :

      Thanks everybody. Adding insult to injury, my offer had an escalation that would have kicked in…so basically, the sellers elected to sell to a family for 5K LESS than my offer, just because they wanted to sell to a family.

      I’m looking into Seattle fair housing resources now…

      • Aw, I’m so sorry to hear that! I was hoping it would be good news today. Totally sucks.

        • Anon in PNW :

          Thanks meara – I meant to email you and let you know how great it was to meet you on Friday!

          Just glad I didn’t post the happy news this morning. I would have had to retract:(

          Now I just have to call my mortgage broker, my parents, my relo consultant, etc., and tell them about this.

    • Because real estate transactions move pretty fast, I would actually call your agent and tell him/her to let the other party know you are * looking into * legal action based on discrimination. Like, today, right now.

      You may not have time to actually consult and attorney and bring suit.

    • It sounds like the agent told you that they sold to a young family, but not that they sold to them because they are a young family. How do you know that’s the reason?

      • Agreed. Was it because they were a young family, or because of a different reason and they happened to be a young family. was the offer cash/better terms?

        I just don’t think they would take less money to sell to a young family. Something else seems to be going on behind the scenes.

        • While I completely agree that something else could be going on, I will say that when my parents recently sold the home they’ve lived in for 20 years, my mom was hell bent on finding someone who would “love it as much as” she did. They didn’t get into any situation of competing bids but I guarantee my mom would have tried to sell it to the people she liked better if there were.

          • Anon for this :

            I have definitely seen sellers in the past take the offer of the buyer they felt ‘deserved’ their home. Depending on the age and background of the seller, it wouldn’t surprise me at all.

            Did the buyer’s agent communicate their acceptance to your agent via phone or email?

      • LadyEnginerd :

        I’m absolutely not a lawyer, but for it to pass the smell test it had better be a Very Real Reason if they don’t take the best offer. Some vague “liking the young family better and thinking they’d be a better fit for the house” I think falls squarely in the fishy arena. If that were ok, then imagine all the other protected classes who would also get burned (“I just could envision the white couple being a better fit and starting a family there, so that’s why I sold it to them instead of the bright blue couple from Mars for 5k less” is clearly Not OK).**

        ** I so do wish that this were a real legal precedent. I’d like to have Martian neighbors.

      • Full disclosure, I did sell my house to a young family because I liked their offer letter (talking about their daughter taking my daughter’s room and not changing the decor, etc) better than the letter from the guy who said he was going to completely tear up our house and rebuild it better. Because I was attached to my very original 1922 craftsman and my daughter’s room with the cute paint colors, and did not want to see this house we’d cared for so carefully turned into a faux modern eyesore, I went with the family.

        Which turned out to be a mistake financially, because they took an extra month to get the financing they guaranteed me they had in place when they made the offer, and just this year I found out they defaulted and the house went into foreclosure.

        House decisions are always emotional.

        But if they have put it out there in writing that they discriminated against you based on family status, hell yeah I’d fight back. I would have expected tear-down dude to do the same to me if that’s how I’d phrased it.

        • FYI: I’m a fair housing attorney. Familial status protections only apply to families WITH children, not families without children. Stated differently, a seller is free to discriminate against childless folks.

          • ugh…life ain’t fair.

          • What about married versus single?

          • @Rosie: Not to wade into the sea of providing legal advice, but marital status isn’t protected under federal law. Some states do include marital status as a protected class, so it’s worth checking into specific state law if a person believes she has been denied a housing opportunity because of her marital status.

          • Blonde Lawyer :

            Some states also include sexual orientation as a protected class. Not sure what sex OP’s partner is but if OP is not straight, she may have a claim. “Someone with a family” can be code for “someone who is not homosexual.”

          • The resources on seattle dot gov make it seem like the OP here may have more options here than what would be protected, federally.

          • w/ Rosie – I think I saw those same resources (the seattle ones) and they do specifically lay out marital status as a protected class. That might be specific to Washington State, but it’s worth a look at least.

    • Turtle Wexler :

      I am so sorry, reading that made me so sad for you. No advice, but I hope something works out for you soon.

    • They matched that offer, but would they match a higher one? How much are you willing to bid?

      • Anon in PNW :

        Their best offer was 615k. My own offer had an escalation saying I would match the next best offer by 5k, up to a maximum of 626k.

        After their agent told me I had the house, the sellers apparently said “gee we really wanted to sell it to that young family. Agent, can you call and see if the family will come up to 620?” The family did, so the sellers accepted and had their broker call me this morning with the news.

        Because of my escalation, the sellers effectively took a lower offer (620 vs. 625) because they preferred selling to a family over a single woman.

        • Holy smokes, that does not pass the smell test to me.

        • Anonymous :

          Is it possible that the young family are friends or acquaintances of the seller, and the seller was doing them a favor? Or is there any way that your escalation clause was not communicated correctly to the seller?

          If not, this seems totally weird, and I’m wondering if there’s something they aren’t telling you. Who just gives up 6K like that?

        • If they had notified you that they accepted your offer, they can’t renege like that even if they weren’t trying to discriminate against you. I agree that you should tell your agent to notify their agent that you’re looking into legal action. (This is not legal advice.)

          • Agreed with Bluejay. Of course, in my stand, contracts for the sale of real property must be signed in writing, but I would still advise sellers that you are looking in to legal action and immediately contact an attorney.

          • not this kind of lawyer :

            That’s why I asked if they communicated the acceptance via phone or email, because email could constitute a writing. If it was by phone, for sale of land, then you have nothing on that front, but I think the marital status thing might be worth looking into, both based on being single, and if applicable on being with a same sex partner.

          • not this kind of lawyer :

            I mean *I’m* not this kind of lawyer, not that “a lawyer” isn’t. :)

    • I agree. A big FOOEY on them. It is ridiculus what they did to you. I am speecheless. DOUBEL FOOEY!

      I will wait until tomorrow to update the hive on my issue’s which are mild compared to this. Triple FOOEY!

    • This totally sucks. Please keep us posted on how this works out.

  9. I could use some advice on how to work with someone who is incompetent. I’m working in an engineering group and have been reporting a lot of defects on a product from one of our vendors and this person is the liaison in charge of tracking the issues and communicating with the vendor. She keeps mixing up the items, isn’t tracking them in a central place, keeps taking things my group reports and repeats them incorrectly, and is encouraging the vendor to deliver things at inappropriate times and doesn’t tell anyone about it. She’s trying to do everything at once (she even dials into multiple phone calls simultaneously) and is failing miserably. I know I work in a fairly advanced field and that a lot of people might not understand the technical terms we use when we talk about problems, but I sent her descriptions of everything and I feel like it should be pretty easy to copy/paste the items and use the titles I’ve assigned to them.

    Everyone knows there is a problem and my management has been making the appropriate complaints. Other than that, I’m not sure if there’s anything that can be done. It’s painful to watch her flail around and we’re all under a lot of pressure to meet a contact deadline, which I’m sure is freaking her out and making a bad situation worse. I’ve never worked with someone so bad at their job before and it’s driving me insane.

    • Is there some kind of checklist that you can provide her (at least for part of her responsibilities) and present it as a way for you (S) to keep up to date on what she is doing/has done. Maybe if you present it as something for your own benefit, she will not be stressed about it but will just use it and fall in line with some of the organization of your checklist.

    • Jenna Rink :

      Ugh, this is my life. Count your lucky stars that your management is taking it seriously! Sadly, my only way of handling it is to just take on as much of the work as possible. Really not a good long term solution.

  10. I’m so sorry to hear that this happened to you. I remember how crushed I was when I placed a bid on a house that had been on the market for 7 months before I found and fell in love with it, only to have 3 other people outbid me that same week.

    Seattle dot gov has pretty good informational brochure on housing discrimination that you might want to check out. Family status is a protected class, and there’s a list of fair housing agencies you can contact for help.

  11. Honeycrisp :

    Can anyone recommend a small office humidifier? I feel like my office is so dry that I have to apply hand lotion every hour and chap stick every 20 minutes. Thanks in advance.

    • SoCalAtty :

      I’ve been looking for a humidifier too! For now, I have several plants in my office which require higher humidity – an orchid and a gardenia – and I have them set on homemade “humidity trays.” Just a saucer full of pebbles that the pot sits on top of, and I can keep the saucer below the pot full of water and it helps the plant and the humidity level in the office. I have to refill them at least once a day…but a little humidifier that isn’t loud and doesn’t get everything wet would be great too!

      • I got a Vicks V3100 from my local drugstore that cost in the neighborhood of $40 and which does the job. It has 2 settings (low/high), emits cool non-visible mist, and it’s smallish and quiet. I have a more expensive Vornado one for home that I never use. Kinda wish I had just bought another Vicks instead.

  12. 401(k) for the Self-Employed :

    Where can I wear my new dark red leather sheath dress? Serious question. Thanks!

  13. 401(k) for the Self-Employed :

    So not hot in the link. So hot on me.

    Styling suggestions?

    • 401(k) for the Self-Employed :

      Ack. This belongs in the prior thread.

    • Oh, man, I love it. I’d go for a sexy schoolgirl thing with tights and maryjanes and a cardi, and I actually do like it as styled with fishnets and boots for edgy casual to wear to a music festival or something. And for going out, I’d style it just as I’d style a non-leather sheath dress – pumps, pearls, whatever you usually do. The leather will just make you look extra hot. I really do love it.

    • Niiiice. I think I’d wear it like you’d wear a sun dress in the summer, and love the idea of tights and/or boots. ::rowr:: Just decide you’re going to wear it because you look great in it. The styling keeps it casual enough to go wherever!

    • I love it as styled — with fishnets and suede shooties, but with shooties that don’t read as Doc Marten-y as the model’s. I think you can wear the outfit to swanky bars and restaurants, particularly in the fall and winter. Love it!

    • Honestly – I’d probably wear it to work – business casual office – with tights and a cardigan. Or maybe with a button down underneath. And people would be jealous. Heck, I’m jealous. That’s a fabulous dress!

  14. Woods-comma-elle :

    You guise, I’m working late tonight and obviously by 5pm I was starving. Too busy to go out to get food, so had to give in and go in on the pizza other people were ordering. I’m trying so hard to do WW before my vacay in October, and this was NOT part of the plan. But it was either go pizza or go hungry. Oh, and I’m actually STILL hungry (hungry again? It was only an hour ago).

    I will most likely be working late every night this week, so tomorrow I’m getting two lunches and keeping the other for supper.

    I’m not sure what the point of this post is, other than to try vaguely to assuage the guilt…

    • Food confessions. I totally understand. Great idea on the two lunches, and remember that portion control is part of the analysis, too. Sometimes you’re going to have not great options, but try to do a smaller portion. I find that lots of water (particularly with the Mio flavoring stuff) helps me feel more full. Also, you’re working like crazy – give yourself a little slack, and remember that your brain needs fuel, too!

    • I’m eating peanut butter cups as I write this. At least I went to the gym today…

    • I’m working late, too, but luckily had leftover lunch of a veggie plate since we had law firm meeting at lunch today, too. However, I had a huge cookie and Hershey’s bites chocolate bar earlier, and I think i am about to get another :)

  15. I’m not looking for a job but some of you may remember me posting last week seeking questions to ask a recruiter who contacted me after seeing my profile on LinkedIn. This job is 2 hours away from where I currently live (in an area with an awesome quality of life — but would definitely involve relocating our entire family) and I had an informational interview with the recruiter today. I think I’m going to put my hat in the ring, which is crazy — it would be a big stretch for me, but I figure why the heck not?? It could also theoretically triple my salary, which isn’t terrible news. And have I mentioned that I’m pregnant? Oh, right…

  16. Reposting in case this gets more views here:
    I am soliciting for comfy but truly cute shoe ideas to wear on a European city walking vacation. Black or other neutral, no buckles, no sneaks. Weather will be high 60s/low 70s so prob. too warm for riding boots. Has to work with skirts, dresses, and jeans. Under $200, pref. $100. Help?? TIA!

    • Opposed to ballet flats? I love the ones from Pretty Ballerinas – and they feel sturdier than others I’ve tried. I wore them all over Paris.

    • I love the Fidji brand. If you can find one that isn’t too pointy, they have great support and lots of cute styles.

    • Katie Nolan :

      I have three pairs of the TOMS Ballet Flats that I love. They are so, so cute and versatile, but most importantly: comfy. I can’t vouch for how they might feel after a full day of walking European streets, but I’ve walked the Vegas strip multiple times in mine without complaint. They have a decent amount of arch support if that’s important to you. A couple notes: they aren’t the most durable, so they might not last you longer than a couple of months of intense wear – but at $74 they aren’t too expensive (though kind of pricey for Toms!). Second, they need to be broken in. They’ll be stiff and maybe painful at first but they soften up after a day or two, so plan accordingly. Finally, they really do run half a size too big, so size down half a size. I am solidly a 10, always a 10, never anything but a 10, and when the sales associate brought me a 9 1/2 I scoffed, and even sent them back because they felt like they were half a size too small. But he assured me they’d stretch considerably with breaking in, and he was right.

    • eastbaybanker :

      Whatever you buy, just be sure to break them in first!

      I am a seasoned traveler but made the rookie mistake of taking a new pair of flats on a European city vacation this year. I own the exact pair of shoes in a different color from a year ago, so I figured I’d be fine. The new version was a thicker leather and had a tighter heel and I got awful blisters.

  17. Etiquette Question :

    I happened to gift a cousin of mine some tops that I’ve never worn before. I’ve always intended to wear them, and hung them up in my closet for close to 9-12 months but recently packed them in a bag in “new” pile. When I got them out today, I sprayed some good perfume, wrapped them in tissue and sent them to her.

    My question is, is this OK? Would she think I may have worn them since I’ve sprayed some perfume? The only reason I put on some perfume is because I’ve hung them up in my closet for so long that I thought it may have lost its “new” smell.

    • I mean your giving her free clothes, so I don;t know if she has any standing to complain. But in the future, I would not spray them with perfume. Some people are really sensitive to it, and yes, she might think they are worn.

      • Etiquette Question :

        I knew and been afraid someone was gonna say this :(. Thanks, cfm.

        • its really nothing to lose sleep over though. You are gifting free clothes! Im sure she will just be grateful for the gift

          • Unless by “gift” you mean for an actual occasion (like birthday). Then it was probably unfortunate to have perfumed them…

          • ohhh sadie I didn’t even think of that. I don’t know why I read it like oh, i have these clothes I never wore Ill send them to you

        • If tags are on, I wouldn’t think they were worn.

  18. Marie Curie :

    I have a somewhat stupid question … I have contact lenses and glasses (obviously) and wear each about half of the time since I have dry eyes and get tired when I leave my lenses in for more than 5 hours or so. My glasses are super-thick and make my eyes really small (I’m very myopic).
    Now, I have a job interview soon (yay!). Should I wear contact lenses or glasses to the interview? Does it even matter? Am I overthinking this? (I guess my thoughts are that it would be weird if I wear contacts and then one day turn up with “ugly” glasses …)

    • a) buy some glasses that aren’t “ugly.” I think of my glasses as an accessory and now can’t see my face without them.

      b) when/if you wear glasses, be sure to wear eye makeup that will subtlely emphasize your eyes behind the lenses.

      • MissJackson :


        And, wear whatever makes you feel most confident.

        I used to be a 16 hour a day contact wearer (ouch), but I finally splurged on some glasses that I love and now I think that I look better in the glasses than without, so I basically only wear contacts for athletic stuff or when it’s really sunny out and I’m going to be outside (haven’t invested in prescription sunglasses that I love yet, although that’s next on my list).

    • Marie Curie :

      Forgot to say: dress code is business casual.

    • Don’t matter. By the time they see you in glasses, you will already have the job! Plus, there are so many people wearing those thick dark glasses nowdays as a fashion statement, folks are likely to be more attuned to co-workers who rotate between glasses/no glasses. Even my 18 year old son-a firm contacts only person-now has a pair and frequently puts the glasses in his fashion rotation!

    • have you tried Systane drops? I use them about 10 minutes before I put my contacts in, and it’s doubled the length of time that I can wear my contacts. (before them I could only go about 6 hours at a time, now I can go all day)

    • Gail the Goldfish :

      I have no opinion as to which to wear to the interview (whichever makes you more comfortable, I suppose), but as to contacts drying out your eyes–have you tried Clear Care solution? I found it really helped with irritation from contacts, presumably because it gets them super clean. Yes, it is the one that’s hydrogen-peroxide based that you have to soak for 6 hours that’s been in the news because people applied it directly to their eyes. (In case you miss the giant red label: do not apply directly to eyes. Use only with provided case. Must soak 6 hours).

      • +1. Has made my contacts way more comfortable for long term wear.

        • Also agreed. Clear Care is awesome. But, based on a terrible anecdote a good friend told me — if you have any contact-wearing guests that decide to borrow your contact solution and THEY aren’t familiar with what that little red warning cap means, well….ouch.

      • Clear Care rocks but DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT get solution in your eyes. After more than a year of using that stuff perfectly, I had a mishap a month ago and ended up having to take the day off work because I was in miserable pain.

  19. weekend meanies? :

    Has anyone else noticed that the weekend threads often get comments that are meaner and less helpful than the rest of the week? They’re always by “anon” or something similar so I wonder if they’re not regulars here. I am so glad the people here all week are so kind. I also hope people who are enjoyed and appreciated here do not leave us because of the awful or silly things said to them by weekend meanies!

    • Yep. And not always anon, but people who only post on the weekends. Because of that, if I have anything to post myself (rather than commenting on others’ posts), I will wait until a weekday. Just not worth it to be slammed over something innocent.

      • I generally find the weekend posts unwieldly past Friday night. But I also notice the shift in tone, which I can’t say I always enjoy. I think the threads serve different needs though so perhaps the meanness or whatnot is a result of just different topics topics that come up on the weekends and their accompanying sensitivities?

        • I actually think we should just rename the Weekend Open Threads the “everybody is bored on Friday” threads. Because by Friday at 5 they’re already out of control.

          • It really makes me think of the restaurant biz (any of you ever worked as a busboy or waitress before?)

            The locals that you know and like you see dining at the restaurant at weeknights. The Friday night/Sat night divas and divos come out and b!tch you out for this and that, because, you know, they’re special and they want you to know it.

          • Ha, Susan, I like the analogy. Very true.

    • Turtle Wexler :

      I only read the weekend threads until Friday evening but I don’t check Corporette over the actual weekend days. I don’t usually bother to catch up later because I have enough trouble keeping up with the weekday threads. So I’ve never really noticed the meanies…guess my laziness pays off?

    • I also hope no one leaves. That said- I’m pretty sure I know which thread in particular prompted this, and I think those comments were constructive / tough love in nature. Especially true in light of the poster having completely outed herself.

      • No, actually that ticked me off, but I have been thinking this for quite awhile. I had even thought about staying away on the weekends because I didn’t like the tone of things.

        • I was actually responding to the OP, not to you. Or were they both you?

          • Nope it wasn’t me, but the person could have been writing what I have been thinking.

          • I agree about the “tone” on the weekends, but I still think it was probably correct to assume which post prompted it. Not sure why you started your answer with “no.”

          • Sorry I was just projecting about how I felt.

      • eastbaybanker :

        I was also concerned for the poster in that situation, for what it’s worth. You can’t out yourself and then deride your coworkers online without garnering some criticism.

        • For what it’s worth, I think there’s a small(er) community that posts very frequently and is probably real-life friends. I think they (and yes I’m totally making an assumption here) sometimes get too comfortable and “out themselves” without thinking of the consequences. I appreciate that they protect each other, but I don’t think the commentary on the applicable thread this weekend was way out of line. It was a little hard to swallow maybe, critique always is, whether it’s constructive (as this was) or not. Someone said it well on the w/e thread that for every poster, there’s a tenfold amount of readers who don’t post, but are very aware of the different personalities and can probably extrapolate who some of real life people behind these handles are.

    • I definitely think that the weekend threads are way harsher than during the week; one time I thought I posted a mildly humorous rant and ended up getting pretty beat up. Ultimately, it didn’t really change my behavior here, but it did make me decide not to post on the weekend thread very often. I’m not sure what the deal is — is it people only post on weekends or are we all paying more attention and being snipe-ier (totally a word, I know) because we aren’t working. IDK. It’s doesn’t change my feelings about the community, but it does change my behavior WRT posting

    • I agree, and as EC MD said, it is NOT just the one post that people are referring to this weekend. It has been happening for a few weekends, and I am getting close to just not following the Weekend Thread at all, because it is starting to make me really sad / frustrated to read all of these mean, ad hominem, snotty comments, when i’ve come to count on this place for genuine, respectful conversation and debate as well as supportive encouragement. I don’t know if there’s anything we can do about it, bc it’s a small group of folks who obviously don’t care about the community that has been created here. So, the only solution I can think of for myself is staying off the Weekend thread and sticking to the during the week posts. But that’s just me….

      • Sydney Bristow :

        I think it’s important the respectful posters continue to participate on weekends too though. There is at least a balance right now and still a lot of good discussions happening on the weekends. I personally don’t want to let rude comments overtake this site that I’ve participated in for 3ish years. For what it’s worth, there have also been some particularly snarky comments in the weekday threads as well lately.

        • ack, good point, Sydney, I didn’t think of that… But what do I do then? Cuz my problem is that when I see a mean comment, my first reaction is to get really angry and want to totally say something equally mean back to them. So, it doesn’t help my weekend to constantly be getting pi$$ed off ;o) I just don’t know, it’s just hard for me to read that stuff, but I’m open to suggestions??

          • May I suggest that perhaps you’re taking this a little too seriously? I mean, if it’s actually affecting your weekend, step away from the blog.

          • Sydney Bristow :

            I know what you mean. I’ve definitely written out a mean response and then get all the way to the “submit post” button and back off. I think my strategy is going to be to offer advice on the question asked by the original poster while completely ignoring the mean comments. Hopefully if some of us do that way a productive conversation will still result regardless of the mean comments.

      • It does get a little meaner. I think also in general, I’m always surprised at how sensitive corpor3tt3s are. Which is great when it is to give support, sometimes I moved to tears at how nice everyone is when someone is going through something. But when its about someone being slightly snarky, Im always surprised at how quickly it turns into a string of “uncalled for” “rude” “etc” which is actually nice in a lot of ways. People stand up for each other. But I think it also sometimes means people feel they can’t give constructive criticism to the “in crowd” Like I didn’t think the post warning about sharing too much info was harsh at all. I think people were generally coming from the right place and trying to give good advice. I know the real life identities of like 5 regular posters and I feel like I don’t even post here that much. But I get that criticism if it was about my actual friend, I’d be like hey back off! you guys dont even know her. So I think people (anons) react to that inability to criticize regulars by being extra mean. I waste tons of time on this site and love the discussions, but some of y’all are crazy*. I think that crazy comes out on the weekend thread, and then people respond to that in like, a hyper sensitive way.

        *fully, fully aware that I’m crazy too.

        • that star was supposed to say I let the crazy out sometimes too. not that Im crazy all the time. oh well!

  20. Hey, so I just got asked to be a speaker at a CLE, which I’ve never done before and would love to do, but it would take place during my maternity leave. Depending on what happens, I’ll probably be approx. 5-6 weeks post baby, and the CLE will be around 1/2 hour’s drive from my house. I don’t have to prepare anything written; I just have to do a presentation based on what others have prepared, probably 3-4 hours all together.

    This is not insane, right? I’ve never had a baby before, but I should be able to squeeze preparation for and doing the presentation in fine, despite being post-baby, right? I’m only planning to take 8 weeks off, anyway, so I thought that this might be a good ease back into the professional world.

    • Totally not insane, and IMO, a good test run for when you go back to work as far as leaving the baby goes. I also think it will be good to get your mind working again, although be prepared for the ‘thinking’ part to be harder pre-baby. After giving birth I found that there was always a small corner of my mind 100% preoccupied with the baby. And sometimes that small corner was way more vocal than I wanted it to be.

    • It depends on if your baby is on time or late, if you have complications, if you have childcare lined up and if you are breastfeeding.
      For me personally, my son was a week and a half late which would have made him 3-4 weeks old; I had complications that made doing a lap around Target physically exhausting/painful, forget standing and presenting; I broke down crying the first time several times I left my baby with daycare; my son liked to nurse every 2 hours when he was that young so I would’ve been uncomfortable if not leaking everywhere; and the longest block of sleep I had gotten at that point was maybe a 4 hour stretch. Oh, and none of my professional clothes fit yet and it took a few months for me to leave the house without spitup on me someweher. Overall, for me this would have been a disaster.
      I’ll be the first to admit I’m not supermom/supercareerwoman and I’m not trying to be, so others should chime in as well. Not trying to rain on your parade, but its hard enough going back to work when you have to, I wouldn’t recommend committing to being a speaker at this point.

      • I think if any of those things happen, the CLE people can be notified far enough in advance that it will be acceptable to back out if necessary. I say go for it!

    • anon prof :

      Congrats on getting asked to do the CLE! You might want to have the baby and someone–your spouse, your mom, a sitter–come with you (and wait nearby) if you’re nursing so that you can nurse before/after the presentation and not be so stressed about leaving the baby at home. But, no, not insane unless you have very bad complications.

  21. Hey…I had fallen painfully behind in my tumblr answers…but I’ve gotten a couple of them done.

    Oh…and champagne shoe person…I’ll try to write you an answer too. Not sure I have time this afternoon at work though.

  22. Can I rant on a totally unrelated topic to belts?

    ACS. The student loan providers. I had the misfortune of having my access group loans transferred to them this year and the aggrevation is non-stop (I have b*tched about it here before).

    This month, I scheduled a payment for last Friday, my due date. I got not one, but eight different emails confirming the transaction. Then today – I get a new one saying my loans are delinquent and do I want to consider forbearance? WTF.

    So I call and after being on hold for 25 min, this smarmy a**hole asks me if I want to make a payment because my account is 3 days past due. When I tell him I already made a payment, he tells me that oh yeah, it’s only delinquent because they haven’t cleared it with my bank yet, so they sent that email and that I should look at the fine print on their site that says “payments may take up to 3 business days to clear” … This is all in a tone of, “why the f are you calling me to complain about any of this?”

    Then, when I ask him why they can’t wait till the scheduled payments actually don’t clear to send me the delinquency notice like every single other company does, he says, “why are you calling? if you know you made the payment, just put that email in the trash. don’t sweat it!” Seriously??? That’s his solution? just ignore delinquency notices on the assumption that I am right? Ugh. I wish I could make someone else buy my stupid loans.

    • Legally Red :

      I’ve had the same issues with ACS. I had an in-school deferment that ended in May, when I graduated. I called them in April to ask about how to change the bank account for automatic payments (before I started school, I had a different loan servicer, and it actually was very difficult for me to figure out where my loans ended up). They told me not to worry about it and that they’d contact me when they were ready to set up payments again. Well, they never contacted me, and they tried to withdraw my loan payments from an account that’s been closed for three years. Then, once that was corrected, they’ve failed to take out my payment every month, so I get the same letters and emails threatening forbearance every month.

    • Sydney Bristow :

      I hate all the student loan companies and have ranted about them here before. Someone told me that you can now file complaints about student loan lenders with the consumer finance protection board. I haven’t done it myself yet because I haven’t had the time, but I plan to.

    • Unfortunately, the problem isn’t limited just to ACS. For a while, Citibank would start calling me at 8am the day after my payment was due with collections call after collections call. Since it can take up to 5 actual days for a payment to post, it was completely unnecessary.

    • MissJackson :

      ACS is driving me a bit nuts, too. At Access Group, if you made a payment before your scheduled due date, your automatic withdrawal payment would not be processed. Apparently (although I don’t recall being informed of this, ever), that is not the rule at ACS. In fact, regardless of whether you are prepaid (and regardless of whether you advance your due date), your CheckMate II or whatever their auto withdrawal thing is called will ALWAYS be made.

      I found this out by (1) making a payment manually 2 weeks before my due date, including an extra payment, (2) moving most of my money into my savings account as per my usual plan after the bills are paid, (3) ACS trying to withdraw a second payment (which could not be covered by the “fun” money left in my account), (4) getting a nasty letter in the mail telling me that my account was delinquent and overdue by $0. 00 (yes, the letter actually said “you are delinquent in the amount of ZERO DOLLARS.”), (5) ACS cancelling my CheckMate II and raising my interest rate.

      To say that I was annoyed does not begin to cover it.

    • e_pontellier :

      oh my g-d ACS is the worst. I’ve been trying to change my name to my married name for, um, a YEAR now and they keep asking me to re-send the documentation. One of the loans has my married name and one has my maiden name, and they just can’t pull it together. Drives me freaking crazy. It should not be this hard to give someone [some entity] money.

      • Ooooh ME TOO! I sent them my new drivers’ license to indicate my name change. They then changed the spelling of my FIRST name to something that was clearly incorrect (first name did not change, by the way), and left my maiden last name. I called to correct it; 25 minutes on the phone and I was told to re-fax. Sent a second, larger photocopy of my driver’s license AND my marraige certificate just in case. Now my first and last name are wrong. I called again, after 30 minutes spoke to a “manager,” spent ten minutes convincing that person to retrieve the two faxes I previously sent, look at them and tell me where the confusion lay. I was told it should be fixed from then on. On my next statement, my last name was correct and my first name was still some weird variation of what it should be. I sent a third and final fax, with a strongly worded cover sheet. No change. Three months later, the name on the account is still wrong. Evidently, it’s not preventing ACS from accepting my payments so after three months I’m done trying. UGH. It does feel good to rant, though….

      • At least I am not alone! Seriously wish there was some consumer protection agency for this sort of thing though it seems like student loans are the last great unregulated,non-dischargeable frontier.

        Sydney, if you figure out where/how to make complaints – let me know, I’ll join you.

        After my initial rant, I stayed on hold another 20 min. to speak to a supervisor and her advice was the same as the rep I wanted to complain about: disregard the delinquency notices if I “know” I am not delinquent. When I suggested that was a somewhat imprudent course of conduct to advocate, she suggested I could pay early so that by the time my payment clears, it will actually be my due date. The concept of “due date” is apparently lost on ACS. I never thought I would actually long for Access Group, but I guess I never knew how good I had it. It’s like that first serious boyfriend – you think if this is good, it can only get better, but alas sometimes it’s all just downhill from there ;) Thanks for commiserating, ladies.

  23. Haven’t loved the picks in the past few weeks, but I.LOVE.THIS.BELT. :-)

  24. Baby Lawyer :

    New job dress code question–where does “business professional” fall on the spectrum between business formal (suits all the time) and business casual (not even going to attempt a definition). I assume that business professional does not include jeans, but would a cardigan (e.g., with a dress skirt or pants and blouse) be ok instead of a jacket? (The HR person is not terribly helpful, and my office itself seems a lot more business casual, but I have several days of orientation to get through before I actually get to my office.)

    • To me, business professional means suits all the time

      • Baby Lawyer :

        That’s what I thought until I had another HR person tell me that suits weren’t necessary. I will definitely do a pantsuit on the first day, though.

    • TO lawyer :

      I would say business professional could include separates but I would lean (heavily) in favour of jackets instead of cardigans, at least initially.

      • Baby Lawyer :

        Thanks! I’m glad I decided to pick up a couple of jackets on my new job shopping trip last week.

    • I would think mostly suit separates (e.g., not full suit, but dress + blazer or pants/skirt + non matching jacket). I would imagine that cardigans will be fine, too, but I would wait till you’re settled in and have a better feel for the office to break those out. If you’re uncertain, start out with darker colors – a black v neck cardigan somehow feels more formal to me than, say, a colorful print jackie-type cardi.

      In all likelihood, the dress code actually does mean business casual but just not the kind of casual ‘business casual’ is now interpreted as being (as in, to each his own/wear what you like as long as it’s not PJs) — it’s frustrating I know, but all you have to do is get through a few days of orientation/settling in.

    • my office is business professional. for me its no sandals, no peep toes (these would be allowed, its just in my office i’ve never seen them and I look like I’m 12 so I’m not about to be the one thats skewing less conservative) no bare arms.

      so dresses, pencil skirts, pants with blouses, blazers, knit blazers, and cardigans (that don’t look to “slouchy”

    • (former) Clueless Summer :

      Ours is business professional. I (and others) take this to mean suit separates but not matching suits all the time. so basically, wear a jacket all the time and go from there. Say, a brightly coloured blazer over a sheath dress, or a skirt, top and non-matching blazer. I take it to mean brighter colors, things like ankle pants that might not otherwise fly, etc. Our business professional does not include cardigans only.

      • This is what it means to me, too. I think it’s probably to avoid all the people who can’t figure out what business casual is supposed to mean ( slacks and a blouse, a skirt and a cardi) and instead show up in flip flops, capri jeans and a t shirt. Because I’ve totally seen that, and it’s not pretty.

  25. TO lawyer :

    I’m pro-belts for every outfit. I’m wearing a fun belt over a boring dress today and have gotten so many compliments on this dress I’ve worn a million times.

    I know this sounds so basic, but it always amazes me how much one accessory can lift an outfit…

  26. Ladies, I have hit some sort of motivation wall. This is my 23rd day in a row of working. Trial starts wednesday. Relations among the trial team are…tense. I still have three outlines to write. And I’ve been effing around all day, on here, shopping online. I think I may have stopped caring entirely. Help me!

    • Ahh! Sounds exhausting. Tell yourself that you have given yourself a much needed break today, and now it’s time to get back to it. Good luck!

    • Oh, my, I’ve been there! Good luck. Just think, maybe once trial starts, you will get a bit of a break, depending on whether you are plaintiff or defendant.

  27. I posted 2 Fridays ago asking for book an tv/movie recommendations while I was recovering from surgery. They have all been great. I had to have an emergency spinal fusion after an accident and have spent the vast majority of my time since getting discharged last Tuesday reading/watching stuff in bed. I cant remember who suggested it, but I love Homeland. I’ve loved Claire Danes since My So Called Life.

    So new questions. I had a spinal fusion and am not even supposed to start mild physical therapy for another 3 weeks, but I’m really worried about gaining weight. Somewhat just because I’m already 5-7 pounds heavier than I would like and don’t want to have to lose more when I’m healthy and because my clothes won’t fit, but mostly because I know whatever weight I gain will just make my recovery that much harder. I know it’s all a calories in, calories out thing, but when I can’t do the second half of the equation I’m not sure what else to do. I’m just trying to eat as healthily/unprocessed as possible but I’m still worried. I’m trying to do the isometric exercises they gave me in the hospital, but sometimes I forget. Other than that, eating right, and walking as much as possible (right now <5 mins at at a time) what can I do? I'm still in a ton of pain and have bruised kidneys to add to the mix so my options are limited.

    • Hon, don’t sweat it. You are supposed to be concentrating on letting your body recover from surgery. Don’t overdo things. If you are already in pain then please cut yourself some slack and let yourself heal rather than worrying about a measly 5-7 pounds.

    • Try not to worry about it too much. I broke my leg a few years ago and was worried about gaining weight too because I was used to running a lot and then ended up laying around for weeks, but I ended up maintaining my weight. When your body is recovering from something as severe as a spinal fusion, it’s using a lot of calories to heal itself. It may not seem like your body is doing much because you’re just laying around, but it’s working hard! I hope you feel better!

      • Senior Attorney :

        Yes, absolutely your body is using calories for healing! I have had a couple of surgeries in the past few years (nothing nearly as major as yours) and each time I worried about gaining weight, and each time I ended up maintaining or even losing even though I couldn’t work out for 8 weeks or so.

    • I think you’re doing what you can right now. Being aware is half the battle! :)

      I would say to not push yourself to do more than your body can right now, because if you injure yourself during the healing process it will just take longer to recover.

      I’ve found eating lean protein, veggies, fiber, etc. helps immensely with keeping me full while losing weight. I’ve recently cut my calories back quite a bit and lost weight without increasing my activity levels.

      Take care of yourself! I would be eating myself into oblivion and just dealing with the weight gain when I recovered. Not the best tactic. :)

      • Thats exactly where I started. The morning I was admitted into the hospital, I made my best friend buy me my favorite cake and then I proceeded to eat the entire thing over the course of the time I was in the hospital (with a little help). Then once I got home I realized that extra weight makes recovering from back surgery so much harder because of the extra stress on your spine. And I don’t want to hurt this much, so I decided the chocolate cakes must go.

        This is already hard on my body and I’m not hungry for no good reason.

        • You’re hungry for a very good reason, Lalo. You are healing! Be nice to you :). Also, second Leigh’s advice.

    • teslagirl :

      I had foot surgery in May and couldn’t walk for 8 weeks. My solution was to use and make sure that I didn’t go over my calorie count for the day. I emailed my food log to my trainer once a week; perhaps you could find a friend who will hold you accountable? After 8 weeks, I was at exactly the same weight as the day I went in for surgery, and I was very proud of myself.

      • I love myfitnesspal, and used it to lose about 20 pounds. The apps are great too.

    • Spinal fusion survivor :

      Hi Lalo,

      This is my first time posting, but I wanted to let you know that I feel your pain (literally!). I hope this message isn’t too late. Two summers ago, I had a major spinal fusion surgery- they fused 7 vertebrae using 13 screws and 2 rods. The pain was unbearable for weeks- I couldn’t walk more than 5 minutes without breaking down into tears for the first 2 or 3 weeks.

      I was a distance runner prior to the surgery (and am again now- my first post-surgery marathon is in 2 months- woot!) so being laid up in bed was tough. Like you, I worried about adding extra weight while I was recovering and the host of physical, mental, and emotional setbacks I thought would occur from being so inactive. I walked every chance I could, within reason… and I did my PT exercises religiously once my doc cleared me. Your body will tell you when you’ve done too much, believe me! Do only what you can, and don’t worry about the rest of it.

      I actually lost about 10-15 pounds after the surgery, primarily because the pain and the pain medication made me throw up about 5-6 times a day for 6 weeks (NOT pleasant when the upper part of your spine no longer flexes!). I couldn’t eat real meals during this time- I pretty much survived on watermelon, gatorade, and fruit smoothies because they hurt a little less when I would inevitably throw them up shortly after meal time. Also, as others have said, your body will burn a LOT of calories as it tries to repair itself. Just be sure to choose healthy options (vegetables, fruits, whole grains, lean proteins) while you recover- providing good fuel for your body will help you recover quicker and help you keep off the extra pounds.

      Honestly, I wouldn’t worry about the extra weight you may (or may not!) gain during recovery. Once you get back into the groove of things, it will feel so nice to move again that you’ll WANT to walk around more, just because you can. Like I said, I’m back to running again- two years after the surgery and I’m in the middle of training for a full marathon. Keep positive on your recovery and you’ll be just fine. If you have any other concerns about your recovery & life after spinal fusion surgery, feel free to email me (l.s.u.2009(at)hot mail.c o m- no spaces!) Best wishes!

  28. Sydney Bristow :

    Target question. I ordered some clothes last week, some shipped last week and another item shipped today. When I got the email notification that today’s shipment was coming, I saw that the remaining dress that hadn’t shipped yet has been cancelled. I didn’t cancel it and it shows as being available online in the size and color that I ordered. Any idea how to fix this? I can’t call right now, but could later tonight if that is the best way. I would just reorder it myself, but I included it in an order with a 20% discount and free shipping and want it for that price.

    • Blonde Lawyer :

      I ordered at the same time and still haven’t received anything I ordered.

      • Sydney Bristow :

        All but 2 of my items shipped last week. I expect them in the next few days, although the UPS site isn’t giving me an expected delivery date. One of the missing items shipped today, which is how I noticed the cancelled item.

        I’m on hold right now. Customer service is re-ordering the item since it is available, but I have to call back in 30 minutes with the reference # they are giving me in order to get the 20% discount and free shipping done as a price adjustment because it is supposedly dealt with in a separate system after I’m given 30 minutes to cancel or modify the order.

  29. e_pontellier :

    Re-posting from late this morning just in case anyone’s still around…
    I’m in law school and my biological clock’s ticking has gotten to a dull roar. I’m curious what you all think about starting my career a few years later, to have 2-3 years right after law school as a SAHM. My goal is to clerk after law school, but I do not have any offers through OCI. I recognize that if I take those first years out of law school as a SAHM, it looks like I wasn’t able to get a job… but what if I don’t have a job? Thoughts?

    • Sounds like good timing to me! It’s much easier to explain that you decided to wait to start your career uninterrupted than to explain why it’s XX months since graduating and you haven’t found a job (not that that’s super uncommon in this economy).

    • MaggieLizer :

      I think employers would be less concerned about whether you could have gotten a job and much more concerned about how much you have lost your knowledge and skill set from law school. There’s a really steep learning curve for new lawyers even if they get jobs right out of school; I can’t imagine how difficult it would be to step into practice after so much time off from school. Do you think you could work part time in a non-profit or be a research assistant for a professor? Anything you can do to keep a hand in the game would be helpful, imho. Other commenters who have taken time off to be SAHMs may be able to comment more helpfully.

      • e_pontellier :

        Thanks, ladies. MaggieLizer, I think you’re right about the learning curve and the possibility of losing any skill set I develop while in law school.

    • Anne Shirley :

      I think it would be very difficult to break into the legal market as a first year, but a few years out, with no experience, and added home responsibilities.

      Finding a job is hard, really really hard. Putting it off won’t make it easier. I know 5 women from law school who have had babies in the 2 years since we’ve graduated, but they all started work for at least a month or two before heading back out on maternity leave. I can see how the timing is tempting, but I think by putting off the job search now, you’ll be putting yourself in a substantially worse position later on.

      This is my personal thing, and may not apply to you, but a big part of my wanting a law degree was wanting to know that fear of not having a job wouldn’t be what tied me to a marriage. I’d be hesitant to have a child before working at all for that reason alone.

    • How far along in LS are you? If you haven’t started your 3L year, you could always stop and take a leave of absense, have a child, and then return to finish the 3rd year.

  30. Probably a bit late to the game today, but I’ll post anyways.

    Does anyone have any experience using Advocare? Specifically the 24 day challenge? I’m looking to get a burst to my body because working out and eating really well hasn’t been doing much in terms of losing inches or weight. I’d love some feedback! I’ve talked to one person who has used Advocare for several months now, and she is very enthusiastic about it and the results she obtained.


  31. ok sorry if this posts a million times but it doesnt even say its stuck in mod. but on the next dress how easy/hard would it be to remove the ruffle that goes all the way down the side?

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