Coffee Break – Knoyzz Pump

Knoyzz PumpHow do we feel about Steve Madden shoes?  I’ll admit that I wore them almost exclusively in my early 20s, but I haven’t really tested the waters since.  But:  hello, purple pump, highly rated on the Steve Madden site, and at a great price:  $35 (was $90).  Limited sizes only, alas (even more so for the other colors, black and “cognac”).  Knoyzz Pump



  1. Blonde Lawyer :

    Love this shoe. Thinking of buying it. Choked on this line: “Look like a sexy housewife with the KNOYZZ heels and a t-length skirt at the office.” Might still buy anyway.

    • I’ve gotten really turned off by Steve Madden shoes. Partly it’s the totally snotty attitude of the salespeople at the store in our mall. Also, just totally uncomfortable and outrageous shoes. I occasionally try them on, but haven’t bought anything in awhile.

      • I’ve actually had really good luck with Steve Madden shoes – i have a pair of plain pumps from them (they’re about 5 years old, but i’ll hunt around for a link if they still exist) that are my go-to interview heels – surprisingly conservative, they hold up really well and are super comfy – and i NEVER wear heels except for interviews. I say give them a chance for certain things, be them trendy shoes that you don’t want to spend a ton on or more sensible ones. Yes, some of thier shoes are absurd and look like stripper gear, but they have some gems hidden in there. I bought mine in macy’s i think, with one of thier million coupons so i’ve never really dealt with the sales people issue.

      • I like their boots, but those i can buy a half-size up and wear socks and they’re comfy and hold up pretty well. And some of their flat sandals. But I never go in their retail store, i get them at DSW. I can’t deal with their heels, tho, they are not comfortable enough for me to wear them for a whole day, if im getting heels i pay more for really well made, comfort shoes. But i have wimpy feet ;o)

      • TJ Maxx.
        I just bought a pair of Steve Madden sandals that I really like, but I find most of their heels and boots overpriced for the quality. I had a really cute pair of bright purple “patent”heels that fell apart within two months.

      • Research, Not Law :

        I purchased nude sandals with ~2.5″ heels at Nordstroms in 2005 (yikes, when did that become 7 years ago???) that have been perfect for bridal showers to date nights. Too strappy for work, but definitely subtle and versitle. I wouldn’t want to run a mile in them, but I find them comfortable for those types of events. Love them.

      • OC Lawyer :

        Steve Madden shoes are what all the high school girls here wear to their proms and formals. Frankly, I think they are too young to be wearing what strike me as “catch me, f%$k me” shoes.

      • I bought two pairs of flats by Steve Madden last year and have been very happy with them (currently looking at buying a couple more pair). They’ve held up well to probably 50+ miles of walking around town and are still looking great. There are more conservative Steve Madden shoes; they just won’t be what is advertised in the mall windows.

    • Blehhh. Who writes copy like “sexy housewife” these days?

    • 29 years old... :

      I’m wearing Steve Madden “madden girl” black pumps today. They are my go-to shoes for conservative trial days – basic black, 3″ heel, I’ve had them 7 months and they’ve been great.

    • I insist on QUALITY when I buy a shoe, and I am WILLING to pay alot more if I can guarentee that the shoe will NOT fall apart in 2 months.

      I have had good expereience with Nine Wests’ shoes and the price is RIGHT generaly, b/c I do not want to spend to much if I do not have to.

      I will NEVER get shoe’s at Bergdorf, not b/c of the quality, but it is way to expensive, even on SALE! I do NOT want to pay over $400 for shoes and then step in dog poop in my naighborhood. FOOEY!

      Anyway, I went out with the new cleint’s today and they were VERY impresed. I was abel to convince them to go with our firm and I told the manageing partner so he was happy.


      I am now the oficial lead attorney on the account, and we got 3 cases to defend! I ate a COBB salad so it was OK. The 2 guy’s both had wine (keyante), and they had veal piccata.

  2. Same! I wore them all the time. Now, I rarely buy them because they hurt my feet so bad… in my early 20s.

    Funny enough, my gf linked me to a pair of suede ones that are on sale for $39.99 right now. I hesitated on getting them. Are you getting the purple ones??


  3. Any tips on being a plus-one at a professional event?

    Each year, the company my SO works for flies the employees from its various offices around the country to one office for a day of meetings and panels (employees only) and a fancy party and dinner in the evening (with a plus-one). My SO has been a central player in organizing this year’s event and will be a speaker during the day and help “host” the evening portion. Consequently, I expect he will be in-demand and I will be on my own for portions of the evening while he is busy or simply networking across the room.

    Any tips on how to successfully be a plus-one “on my own”? Suggestions for how to gracefully introduce myself and explain who I am (for example, that I am not an employee but, rather, a guest of SO) but still keep the conversation going would be especially welcome. For context, I’ve been to the event before, know a few people, and work in the same field. Although I am happy to make more contacts, my “goal” for the evening is to reflect well on my SO and be an asset, not a distraction.

    • This is a very timely question for me! I just had to think this through myself because my SO and I went to dinner last night at his boss’ house. I was wondering similarly, “how do I represent myself well, and reflect well on him, without seeming like I’m doing my own show?”

      This may sound weird, but Michelle Obama popped into my head. She’s very accomplished and smart, and her own career lacks for nothing. However, she’s decided (at least temporarily) to prioritize making her husband look good. This means not being as sassy as she’s capable of, at least in public. She doesn’t exactly dumb it down, to my mind, but she doesn’t foreground her brilliance either. She keeps her eloquence to non-controversial topics. I could *never* do this for years, as she is doing, but I did do it for a few hours. The evening went well and I think from now on it will help me to just think, in situations like this, do Michelle Obama. It helped that I told my SO I was doing it in advance and he smirked and said sure.

      I definitely hope this isn’t taken as fighting words about Michelle Obama. I really only offer it as a mental set of guidelines that worked for me.

      • …and, this reads a little odd compared to the other tips. I think I had to plan more carefully because it was just going to be us, the boss and his family all evening, and in their home. It was more sustained conversation with an intimate group rather than mingling.

        • I think your advice was spot on! It helps to channel an inner role model to remind us of how we’re trying to portray ourselves or behave in a new-to-us situation.

    • I don’t think your behavior will be that much different than any social event where you don’t know a lot of people. Dress appropriately, don’t get wasted, watch your language and topics of conversation, etc. Chances are there will be other plus-ones. If someone asks if you work for the company, then you can say ” no, my SO does, I am actually with___” If people know that guests are usually part of these meetings, it shouldn’t be a big deal.

      • Research, Not Law :

        This. I had concerns before my first, but they really aren’t any different.

        Work (yours or theirs) are convenient topics to get started. Since you’re familiar with the business, ask them about their position/department, the industry in general, related news pieces, etc. I find topics move pretty quickly to either your work or water-cooler stuff, but it’s a good jumping off point.

        Do NOT get involved with office gossip. You don’t know who you’re talking to, so don’t repeat anything SO has told you that he wouldn’t want broadcasted. Don’t say anything negative, don’t reference inside information, don’t speak about SO’s coworkers.

    • Mr. TBK is great at events like these. He does it by asking people about themselves. People love talking about themselves! I’m not as good as he is, but the way I stay focused on the other person, even if the conversation isn’t sparkling, is I pretend I have to take a quiz on it later (so lame, I know, but it works for me). If people are flying in, travel is a great opening topic and very neutral.

      • I have a relative who is great at this. He always asks the other adults in the family what kinds of systems would improve how they do things at work. He pretends he’s some sort of inventor, but he never invents anything. But people go on and on talking to him. He can’t get them to shut up. And everyone thinks he’s so interesting. Brilliant!

    • Thanks everyone!

  4. Honey Pillows :

    Has anyone tried on these particular shoes? I’m one of the lucky sizes, and I’m looking to replace a pair of uncomfortable purple pumps… but not with another pair of uncomfortable purple pumps.

  5. Crosssfit :

    Law question here –

    I have a large collections file. I served a law firm with the Statement of Claim (as they were the defendant company’s registered office). They sent me a letter stating that the firm was not retained on this specific matter but asked for me to provide notice before filing a notice of default.

    I responded immediately saying I would provide three days notice.

    They sent me a letter back two weeks letter accusing me of sharp practice. Am I right in thinking wtf?

    • Equity's Darling :

      That does seem odd- in my province, you don’t have to provide any notice to get default judgment, so in theory you’re being quite accommodating.

      • Crosssfit :

        Yup we don’t have to provide notice in Alberta – I just keep having people tell me that it’s customary or curtesy or some nonsense.

        • Equity's Darling :

          Also in AB, so I guess it’s good that indeed I do have some basic knowledge of the Rules.

    • Why is “sharp practice” an insult? . . . .especially coming from a firm who has already said they didn’t represent the debtor?

      I’ve found that when opposing counsel starts flinging insults it’s because law and common sense is not on their side.

  6. A 3L I know has recently lined up interviews with county D.A. offices and asked me for advice. My experience is limited to private-sector interviewing – any D.A.-specific advice from the hive? Thanks in advance!

    • FedGov Attorney :

      Emphasize any work you’ve performed for a gov’t or non-profit. They want to see that you’re not going to jump ship if something better, i.e. more lucrative, comes along. Don’t prattle on about the “public good” or always wanting to give back, or other such nonsense – it sounds insincere. One interviewee once said that government service would be a feather in her cap, and everyone needs some on their resume. That sounded too much like check-the-box for me.

    • anon in SF :

      In my experience, DA/Prosecutor interviews focus more on substance than fit. It would not be unusual to ask several pretty tough hypos, or ask to give a brief mock opening statement. Also, they may be interviewed by a panel of 3-5 prosecutors, rather than a one on one interview. This can throw you if you don’t expect it.

      Agree with the other comment to stress interest in criminal law and commitment to public service. Half the battle seems to be convincing prosecutors that you are “one of them” and not going to do it for a few years and move to the private sector.

      • Prosecutor :

        I’d say that a lot of what will happen depends on the size of the office, city/town, etc., just like with most interviews.

        In my very small prosecutor’s office (4 attorneys), fitting into our courthouse culture and other “soft skills” were considered much more important than technical skill sets. My boss figures he can teach us what we need to know legally but he wants people in the office who mesh with everyone else. We, the prosecutors, are also the “face” of our office to the public, so a premium was placed on people skills.

        In a bigger office, with more people to (in a way) dilute out each person’s impact, I would not be surprised to hear that hiring is based more on critical legal skills.

        Just like all interviews, it boils down to: know the culture of where you are interviewing.

    • Be able to talk about the function and duties of a prosecutor. Definitely be ready for some sort of substantive – mine was being left alone with a fact scenario and a computer, and having to write out issues and prosecution strategy. And yes, as far as I know, panels are common.

  7. THE skirt does not work for me but I have found another amazing skirt at Nordie’s that does:
    So if the magic skirt was not magic for you, try this one.

    • Anonymous :

      I love The Skirt, BUT may have also picked up this in 4 different colors their last sale (bright pink, bright teal, black/greyishsilver/white stripe, and a blue/aqua print) for between $19 and $35 each – fits true to size, dont size down if you’re hunting.

      LOVE IT

  8. TurtleWexler :

    Just putting this out there, would any Seattle-area Corp o r e t t es be interested in a meetup? I think there are at least a few of us here and I would love to meet some of you!

  9. Summer Advice :

    As part of my summer associate program, I received a book of professional advice. In the section on business / business casual attire, it says that women should never wear heels higher than 2 inches. Thoughts?

    It also says that business attire means a skirt suit, while business casual means a pant suit. Is this really old fashioned, or is that the norm in some places?

    • SF Bay Associate :

      We have discussed both of these questions many times, so you’ll get a lot of great discussion if you search this site on Google. In sum, no, you do not need to wear heels lower than 2″. I think the hive would agree on 4″ or lower, generally speaking. Tiny platforms, a la Kate Middleton’s beloved LK Bennett Sledge pumps, are somewhat divisive but generally considered acceptable. And as for suits, it depends – the “most formal and traditional” is a skirt suit. Some east coast and southern old school judges (both male and female) expect skirt suits (with hose), so to be super safe, some of our sisters here vote skirt suit. Out on the west coast, pant or skirt suits are both fine.

      • SF Bay Associate :

        I do not agree with the book that a pants suit = business casual. A dark colored suit = business attire. But Bonnie’s point is sound – Summers need to fit in and follow instructions, even if the dress code seems odd.

        Is the book proprietary to your firm? Or is it published?

        • Summer Advice :

          It’s a book that some “image consultants” wrote and distributed to the summer class as part of a presentation. Our recruiter does not follow most of its advice.

      • Summer Advice :

        I am not actually asking for advice about it, just generating discussion. Our recruiter has told us that that’s not really our dress code. Just wondering if there’s still a place where that’s the case!

    • I think it’s old fashioned but as a summer associate I’d follow it.

    • MissJackson :

      I think that reasonable minds can disagree on many things related to professional dress.

      However, I don’t think that “business casual” = pants suit. That strikes me as bizarre. Business casual means many different things, but none of the various definitions in my mind require a suit. If a place wants you to wear a suit every day, it will be “business attire.”

      Then again, what the eff do I know? I’m wearing 4″ heels with a 1″ platform today. And they are open toe. And my toenails are painted green. (I know, I know. I’m clutching my pearls, too, y’all.)

      • MissJackson :

        I want to add — echoing Bonnie above — that it’s all well and good that the definition seems a bit wonky, but if the firm gave it to you, follow it.

        Just know that your firm is a bit more conservative than average.

    • Anonymous :

      If it was a school packet, debate/parse/style away, but if it was a work packet, it doesn’t matter what we think or you think, just do it.

    • OC Lawyer :

      I actually agree with that. I know that I am in the minority, but I am old-fashioned that way.

    • I echo the posters that say if that’s your firm’s handbook, then that’s your dress code.

      In my opinion, though, 2” is pretty low. I am not comfortable in very high heels, but 2” is my standard, and I even have a slightly higher shoe (with a small platform). I have never heard the pants suit is business casual thing (I’ve lived in the northeast my whole life).

    • I agree with lower heels. I think younger women tend to wear heels too high at work. So err on the side of lower than you’d prefer to be wearing outside of work.

      I think pant suits and skirt suits can both be business formal.

      I think of business casual as whatever females would wear when the men are wearing khakis and polos or button-downs with no ties. Maybe it’s skirts and a blouse tucked in, with flats? Cardis instead of jackets? Dress pants and tees with a cardi? That’s more business casual to me.

      • I agree with your comment about the heels. We have a couple summer associates who wear 4 inch heels, but badly. Their clomping about in shoes that are not what I would term “professional” is really annoying. One wears a pair of wood heeled mules and almost fell in them yesterday. Our work atmosphere in summertime is more “biz casual” but not THAT casual. I think it didn’t help that she wore the shoes with a dress with lacey cutouts at the neck and hemline. It just came off as “I am going to a music festival” instead of a work outfit.

  10. anonsensical :

    Semi-regular poster, anon for this. I share an apartment with roommates, and we have split up the bills so that one person pays electric after collecting the appropriate amount from the others, one person collects all the rent checks into a single envelope and mails that out, and one person pays cable after collecting from the others. I pay the cable/internet, through comcast.

    I got a notice in our comcast email account today (which is actually about 1 month old, since I only check that account when I log in to pay the bill) saying that Comcast has received notice from a copyright holder that someone at our IP address had downloaded something illegal via bittorrent, gave the name of the movie downloaded, and saying that further illegal activity would result in suspension of our cable internet account (note – this email came from Comcast, not the copyright holder). I emailed my roommates to say, hey, what’s the deal with this, please don’t download illegal stuff, and one of my roommates emailed back to say he was sorry, it was him, and he wouldn’t download illegal stuff anymore. The email did not require a response or for us to take any action.

    I know I’m technically responsible for what happens under the account, since it’s in my name. But practically, I can’t control what my roommates do on the internet and (I think?) it’s not uncommon for multiple users to use an internet account that is in one person’s name. Some research shows that sometimes, it stops here with a letter and warning from the service provider, and sometimes, they turn over your details to the copyright holder for prosecution.

    My question is, is there anything I can or should do to protect myself here? I can send a letter to Comcast saying I was unaware of any illegal usage on my account and have forwarded their letter to all users, but I’ve heard from some people that they send out thousands of these letters each day and it’s best not to call attention to it, since it will probably go nowhere. My roommate already confirmed in writing it was him that downloaded the movie.

    We are also moving in a month and a half, so I’m somewhat worried that I will miss a legal letter discussing potential prosecution. Basically I’m just worried I will become embroiled in a torrent/copyright battle I have nothing to do with, because the account is in my name.

    Any suggestions?

    • Crosssfit :

      Where do you live? If you are in Canada you do not need to care.

      If you are in the US I would suggest responding to the letter and explain what happened in as few words as possible (multiple internet users, you did not do it). Provide a forwarding address. I would not be overly concerned if I was you.

      • anonsensical :

        I’m in the US, unfortunately. There’s no way a letter that functionally says, ” I did not download this movie. Multiple users access my account, I have notified them and requested that they remove the offending material.” would be considered some sort of admission of guilt or responsibility, right?

        • I’d be very hesitant to make any sort of written admission of anything. Other than that, I’m not sure how much of a real concern of suit this is — but definitely wouldn’t put anything in writing.

        • Crosssfit :

          The concern I think is honestly more that the ISP could cut you off and refuse to connect you again. I have heard of this happening even in Canada.

          Myabe just write that you did not download the movie and that given the letter’s concerns you have taken steps to secure your network to prevent others from using it to illegally download material.

        • anonymouse :

          Yes it could. Don’t put anything in writing. At this point, it is highly likely nothing will happen but don’t give them ammo if they do decide to move forward.

    • I had a similar situation last year– my house mate stopped torrenting, and we never heard anything from Comcast again.
      I’ve never heard of anyone getting prosecuted by their cable provider — more often my college set would accidentally leave it seeding/downloading when they switched over to the university server and get a warning that way.
      I wouldn’t worry about it, and just make sure that it doesn’t happen again.

    • Anon Innocent Spouse :

      I had a similar situation only it was my charming husband doing the downloading. I read him the riot act but took no action with respect to the cable company. That was a couple of years ago and I haven’t heard anything since so I figure we’re in the clear.

      The hotels at which he stays on his business trips had better watch their backs, though…

      • Research, Not Law :

        The last line about hotels made me laugh.

        I wouldn’t contact comcast in any way. There would be more opportunity to do so if there were going to be ramifications. I don’t think there will be.

    • Copyright Professor :

      If you feel a need to say anything to Comcast, tell them that you did not download. Nothing further.

      If I were you, I would put the Comcast bill in your downloading roommate’s name immediately. In my (unfortunately bad, with a former live in boyfriend who apparently had the same tastes as Mr. Anon Innocent Spouse), this behavior will not stop. You are now on notice. Let your roommate, not you, pay the costs of his behavior.

      • anonsensical :

        There’s no real way to do this at the present, since I am under contract with Comcast and you can’t transfer it into someone else’s name (we checked at the beginning of the lease, since we were trying to figure out what to do if we were under contract and one of use moved out — could the remaining roommates keep the same account info). Basically, Comcast told us the account doesn’t go by location, it goes by name, and my roommate couldn’t sign on for a full 6mo or 1 yr+ contract as we are all moving out, and nor could I get out of the last ~2mos of the contract on my end.

    • Criminal Defense Atty :

      I’ve represented people who have downloaded illegal material in criminal prosecutions.

      Law enforcement usually looks at who could have downloaded it, not just whose name the account is in.

      It seems you’ve done all you can. I’d sit tight until you move.

    • no longer "job hunting" :

      I had this problem. I changed the internet password and starting paying the full bill myself. I am risk averse and did not want to deal with any liability.

    • Melissa Mendoza :

      Hi there. My name is Melissa and I work for Comcast HQ. Our Security Assurance Team would be happy to review this with you in more detail if you like, but you just need to be aware and take that email as a warning. If you’re interested in discussing this further, copy & paste your concerns above into an email and send it to our team at the address below. We’d be happy to review this for you.

      Kind Regards,
      Melissa Mendoza
      Digital Media Specialist
      National Customer Operations
      [email protected]
      +Melissa Mendoza

  11. Bar in exactly one week. Today, an eerie sense of calm set in, and now I feel like all my motivation is gone. I feel like I should be freaking out, so now I’m freaking out because I’m not freaked out. Is this normal? I’ve been a lot less motivated, save for a good 5-6 hours today of hard study (got up at 6), but at this point I’m just feeling… blah about the whole thing.

  12. transition :

    Reposting here from the watch conversation, as was suggested:

    Does anyone know of a website that pairs house or pet sitting with people who are willing to do such? I just got an amazing offer to volunteer as a part of an off-Broadway show full of big names but I’ll need somewhere to stay for the days of 7/27-8/5 and hotels and even hostels are too expensive for this still-unemployed gal. I also posted on the couch surfers website but so far, nada. I’m so afraid I’m going to have to choose between subway sleeping and not being able to take this awesome opportunity :(

    • Don’t sleep on the subway alone at odd hours! That is crazy and unsafe.

      • Just re-read this and it seems harsher than I meant it – I just was alarmed someone would actually consider doing that and wanted to urge against it.

        • I think she was making a joke in the original post. She obviously doesn’t intend to sleep in the subway. Lighten up!

    • I posted this on the other thread too, and it merits reposting here.

      Let me rephrase your question in a way that you were too polite to put it.

      ATTENTION NYC READERS: K… in transition needs a place to stay from 7/27-8/5. Who wants to host her?

      • Anonymouse :

        Warning to readers:Despite the way you might feel, you don’t really know this poster. Before allowing her into your home, you should insist on receiving a release to do a background check, including contacting her graduate institution to verify she is who she says she is, and other precautions.

        I learned this the hard way, allowing someone from a message forum I posted on for 3 years to stay at my house. I left for the grocery store for a half-hour and my TV was missing. So was the houseguest. I had seen her driver’s license, but it turned out to be fake. Never heard from her again. It was a nightmare.

  13. Does anyone know if there is a good website for someone wanting to sell or trade airline miles? I have some for an airline I do not fly anymore and wish to trade them with someone for a different airline or sell them.

  14. I purchased some jewelry online about a month ago. I have not received the item yet, but my credit card was charged weeks ago. I’ve been in contact with customer service and they assure me that my purchase is coming, but have not provided me with a tracking number or any other evidence that it has been shipped.

    My credit card payment is due at the end of this week, and I’m trying to decide if I should dispute the payment if I don’t receive my purchase before the due date. I still want the item, but I am concerned about the delay. For what it’s worth, I purchased the item from a reputable site, but not one that I have done business with before.


    • Senior Attorney :

      I think I would go ahead and file the dispute. If the item shows up it’s an easy thing to cancel the dispute, and in the meantime you won’t have to pay for something that may never appear.

    • I’d call them and tell them that you are still interested in completing the purchase but are about to change your mind and dispute the cc charge if they don’t (1) give you a firm ship date/tracking info, or (2) credit your card and re-charge upon shipment.

    • Wannabe Runner :

      What company is it? If it’s somewhere well-known, I’d give them a chance. If it’s somewhere more fly-by-night, then I’d dispute it.

    • You should check your credit card’s rules about how long you have to dispute a particular charge. If it’s 30 days, it sounds like you should go ahead and get a written dispute on file with the credit card company just in case the item never comes through.

  15. TJ – interview suit question. This morning I had a job interview and wore the only interview suit I have. They indicated (but have not yet confirmed) that I will probably be asked back for two more rounds of interviews. I only have the one suit — should I go buy anther? I do have both pants and skirt for this one, and I wore the skirt today. I’d rather not buy another interview suit, especially since the office I’m interviewing at is business casual. That said, it won’t be business casual for me if I don’t get the job.

    What should I do?

    • Former MidLevel :

      You don’t need another suit. Just wear a different top and you’ll be fine. :)

      • This. If you really want to switch it up, if you wore a collarless knit top for the first, wear a button front shirt/blouse to the second or vice versa. Also wear different jewelry. No one will notice it’s the same suit. (I wouldn’t wear a non-matching blazer, btw, but I’m a navy-or-charcoal-skirt-suit-with-hose girl so I’m pretty conservative when it comes to clothes).

    • momentsofabsurdity :

      I think if money is tight you don’t have to buy another full suit – is it possible for you to buy a coordinating but non matching blazer to wear with the skirt? Then you could wear the pants suit at the third interview.

      That way at the next interview you’ll still be professional (blazer + skirt) but wouldn’t have to shell out for the whole suit. IMO blazers are more memorable than skirts anyway.

    • Unless your suit was incredibly distinctive no one will remember what you wore. Just go ahead and wear it again, and if you go through a third round do make sure that you’re wearing a different top underneath it.

    • Wear the same suit. No one will notice.

      My SO once wore the same suit all week to his firm (was too lazy to pick up the rest of his suits from dry cleaning). Not one person commented. I honestly doubt they even noticed.

  16. To Esquire or Not to Esquire? :

    Do you use this honorific? Why? Or why not?

    • Been practicing for 4 years and have never, not once, used “Esquire.” I’ve seen other people do it and I’m happy it works for them (to each their own, etc etc etc), but I feel like a pompous fool with “, Esq.” after my name.

    • The ghost of discussions past.... :

      See here:

      And here:

    • anon for this :

      I use it sometimes. However, I work as the sole attorney, and sole female, in a very male-dominated office in a traditional region of the South. I’ve found that although I feel a little pompous, I would rather feel a little pompous than continually be mistaken as the secretary.

    • I used it on rare occasions when I had a job where my title was not attorney and I needed to make it explicit to the recipient of my email that I was, in fact, an attorney. Otherwise, no. I think it’s generally a doosh move.

    • No its so d*chy. But I agree with anon that I do believe it has its place. I can see where you would need to use it if it wasn’t clear you were an attorney.

      Also the fact that you called it an honorific makes me think you’ll use it :)

    • D Train South :

      Others may disagree, but I understand Esquire to properly be an honorific one bestows upon another, not upon oneself. I have, under certain circumstances, included it in correspondence/memoranda to others (sometimes to show genuine respect, sometimes to exude sarcasm, and sometimes to follow form) but never ever after my own name.

      • This was my understanding as well. I generally don’t use it when addressing others, but sometimes when mailing motions/notices etc to opposing counsel. I’m pretty inconsistent about it. I never use it after my own name.

        I have a personal pet peeve with people using John Q Smith, Esq. or John Q Smith JD, MBA, etc in their personal email (assuming they do not use it for work). I actually inadvertently started a fight with a friend over this shortly after we graduated when I mocked her use of it in personal email. It blew over, but she didn’t talk to me for a week. So yeah, I guess there are strong feelings on the other side of it as well.

      • In personal emails, incredibly douchey.

        In emails from my law practice, I use it as part of my signature.

        Rosalita, Esq.
        Law Office of Rosalita.

      • In the UK this is true, but in the US, it only indicates that one is licensed to practice law. Or so sayeth Wikipedia.

    • I use it to address other attorneys in correspondence, in the address block. But I just sign my letters “w. coast.”

    • It is not appropriate to esquire oneself. Period. I have occasionally esquired other lawyers in formal correspondence.

  17. Thank you, thank you, thank you to whoever posted the link to The Skirt at Nordstrom Rack… I snagged two of my size in black for under $50 for both! They just got here, can’t wait for September so I have a reason to wear them.

  18. 2/3 attorney :

    I posted this earlier, but it seems to have disappeared:

    I read today that jersey is not “appropriate fabric for work.” Does anyone agree?

    • Yes. We agree. You posted it on the watches thread.

      • anon for this :

        I thought so, but it seems to be gone now, I’m sorry for posting it twice. Maybe I don’t understand what jersey means. For example, The Dress doesn’t say it’s jersey, but it has the same fabric blend as a Ralph Lauren dress that does say it’s jersey. Maybe someone can straighten me out.

        • 2/3 attorney :

          Sorry that was me.

          And this is what I’m talking about:
 Ralph Lauren%26COLOR%3DBlue%26sp%3D1%26spc%3D17%26ruleId%3D72%26slotId%3D4

        • Wannabe Runner :

          Which “The Dress” are you talking about?

          (I only know of “The Skirt.”)

        • The Dress is not really jersey. I own it. It’s definitely a work dress. At any rate, my response on the other thread was that heavy jerseys are a great fabric for an office dress, but thinner jerseys tend to cling and can be quite revealing.

          • Agreed. It depends on the jersey.

            And the Ralph Lauren stuff can be a mixed bag. There’s a style that they release every season in different fabrics that only has a single layer of fabric on the backside that is a little clingy, but some pricier ones that have a double layer of heavier jersey that are probably better suited to the work environment.

  19. karenpadi :

    Shopping with a personal shopper.

    I’ve decided to bite the bullet and try out a Nordie’s personal shopper who is highly recommended by a few friends.

    What should I bring for a first meeting? What kind of information will she need ahead of time? Any tips for making this a smooth process?

    • Seattleite :

      It’s been a few years since I used one, but back in my 20s I used a personal shopper almost exclusively. I think I started out with a quick phone call that gave her this rough information:
      General size/body type; things to avoid (sleeveless, turtleneck, whatever); best colors; budget; plan of attack – bus casual, interview suits, resort wear for upcoming vacation?; scope of project (will she be looking for accessories/shoes?). If you know your general “style,” that can be helpful, too. (I told mine that I preferred classic style with a dramatic twist, for example.) I had a pretty clear idea of what I liked – I just needed help putting outfits together – but I noted that she had several notebooks for customers to page through. Yours may too.

      That sounds like a lot of information to pass along, but if you organize your thoughts ahead of time it’ll take about 3 minutes. If you don’t know what you like/want/need, just go in cold. That’s what initial consultations are for. :)

    • I haven’t used a personal shopper, but my thoughts are: bring heels if you wear them, both for look and potential alterations. Wear good foundational garments (grandma is in the house!). If she brings you something you don’t like on the hanger, try it on anyway. You never know. If you see something you like but aren’t ready to buy, get the name/ item number for later.

      • Unless you’re buying shoes, then she can gather some for you to try on with the clothes. Also, have an idea on budget and what you’re looking for.

    • karenpadi :


      I need everything right now. My clothes are literally falling apart and even my shoes probably need to be trashed. Foundational garments? Phhhhh. I’m thinking of giving her $500-$1000 to start and go from there. I think I’ve spent $300 on clothes in the last 12 months so it needs doin’.

      I have no clue about my style except I like to wear bright solids and can’t match (so everything in my closet maybe matches grey pants and jeans. Should I warn her?

      • SF Bay Associate :

        See what she puts together for you and communicate. She’ll probably run back and forth several times to the sales floor armed with more feedback. And now’s a great time to do this with the Anniversary Sale open to the public on 7/20 through early August.

    • I would also add (if you’re still reading) to give her an idea of your environment. For example, one lawyer friend of mine got a personal shopper who brought her only trendy suits that would work for people in a creative industry. So, when I called, I was looking for suits for federal court on the east coast – conservative, conservative, conservative. The operator referred me to a personal shopper based on that requirement, so I had an older woman who understood what it meant to be covered in the chest. However, she didn’t really understand that I just needed black suits – blue jackets and gray pants were not going to fly.

  20. anon for this :

    I will begin by saying this is not a political statement. It is something weighing heavy on my heart today and I just want to share it.

    Georgia is planning to execute Warren Hill on Monday unless Scotus grants a stay of execution. My Constitutional Law professor and one of my favorite people (professionally) is one of the lead attorneys on the application for the stay. Regardless of any of my beliefs about the death penalty, which I am not bringing up at all, I sure hope he wins this one.

    • I actually think this could be a really good test case for Georgia’s ridiculous beyond a reasonable doubt standard for proving mental retardation. It seems like a clear violation of Atkins v. VA to me. Fingers crossed that the SCOTUS agrees with me.

      • Anonymous :

        The SCOTUS needs to address Atkins again. Too many states (Florida!) think they can make up their own definition of mental retardation.

  21. Westcoaster :

    I gambled on a pair of similar olive Steve madden pumps last fall because they were a good price on zappos and they have been totally worth the rather minimal investment, and look very professional.

  22. Merabella :

    Hello ladies. I come to you for advice. After the latest round of fighting with my mother I have decided to take a year long break from her. No contact at all. I know that a few of you have done this before with emotionally abusive parents, even on a larger scale than I am ready to go for at this point, do you have any suggestions on how to deal with this? Do I write a letter? Do I just stop talking to her?

    • Seattleite :

      Merabella, you may want to re-post this on Wednesday’s coffee break. I went to very limited, structured, contact rather than no contact, but I did it with a letter. Yes, it triggered an extinction burst of rather vile behavior, but the letter was as much for me as for her. I needed the written reminder to myself that I had been clear with her, that I had tried many times to improve our relationship, and that my expectations were completely within normal bounds. I was glad to have that letter to look back on when the middle-of-the-night doubts struck.

      Ultimately, I think telling her what you are doing is the more ethical thing to do rather than just dropping out. Be prepared to enforce this if necessary, but stating your intention up front is a way to publicly assert your power, rather than appear as a reactive child.

  23. Bought these. Any suggestions of what to wear them WITH?

work fashion blog press mentions