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Wednesday’s Workwear Report: Cotton Poplin Barrel Shirtdress

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A woman wearing a colorblock dress that is green and beige, as well as brown sandals, a red beaded necklace, and gold earrings

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

I know, I know, this dress from Banana Republic is a lot of look, but I saw it in person recently and I can’t stop thinking about it, so here we are. Is a barrel shirtdress going to be appropriate for every office? Probably not. But if this is your vibe, it’s so, so good. The green color is so vibrant and the cut is so perfect. It’s not for everyone, but if it’s for you, you’re going to love it.

The dress is $180 at Banana Republic and comes in sizes XS-XL. It also comes in navy. 

Halogen has an option that's a bit more affordable — it's available in white/light blue and white/navy for $83.89 (on sale) and $129, respectively.

Sales of note for 8/7:

208 Comments

  1. I have an injury and need to wear sneakers (aka tennis shoes, depending on where you live!) for the next 3-4 months. Most of my wardrobe is biz casual midi dresses, like Boden and J Crew Maggy London. I need a wide toe box, maybe not a wide width but not a shoe with narrow toe area. I have never worn sneakers to work; my eye never adjusted to the white sneaker trend. But now, most of the other women in my office are wearing stilettos, and I have no sneaker style inspo. Ideas for the next few months? Color, style, brand?

    1. I have recently bought a couple of pairs of “white sneakers” from Dr. Scholls in a regular width, and found they have a nicely roomy toe box. They weren’t expensive, so might be worth a try as it sounds like you only need them temporarily.

    2. if you don’t think you’ll wear them again, i would go into DSW and just try on. size is subjective and foot specific. don’t need to be expensive if they fit you.

    3. I don’t know how to help your eye adjust; I’m afraid you’re probably just not going to like how the shoes look with your work clothes.

      My Sketchers, which are very old, have a wide toe box. Maybe check out their shoes. Also, weight lifting shoes often have wide toe boxes – mine do but they have a plastic bottom that makes annoying noise on hard floors, so I won’t suggest them. You may have success looking for “barefoot” shoes.

    4. If you’re looking for something that’s comfortable but not super expensive, I like my Gola Elan shoes a lot! And they are inexpensive enough that you could probably get a couple different colors.

    5. Kate Spade has some cut like old school tennis shoes. If you don’t need more support than that, those would be fun for summer.

      1. As someone who wear Altras and likes a good sneaker with dresses, Altras are hideous. They also don’t hold up to daily wear. OP, I’d try Amazon! I got some cute wide toe box sneakers with leopard print accents. I get compliments on them often. They’re some random brand. For $30 you can order a bunch of different styles.

        1. I used to live and die by Altras, but when the brand got bought by Nike the quality went way down. And I would never ever wear them with a dress.

          1. Ah, is that what happened. My last Altras no longer had the fab toe box, and had a drop! They were dress worthy, but my feet missed the proper ones.

            To OP, I think a all pastel «white» sneaker or tennis shoes with a current or retro accent can work.

            I really like sneakers at community clothing (Patrick Grant’s shop), but I don’t know the toe fit.

    7. Have you looked at Sorel? I’m generally a fan of their shoes when I’m injured. There are a lot of flat and squishy shoes.

    8. New Balance Women’s Fresh Foam X Cruz Artisan V3 comes in a wide which works for my wide toe box. It comes in a lot of colors, including navy and gray. No one is going to mistake it for a stiletto or a formal flat but it can look ok and intentional.

    9. White Keds look nicest with dresses to my eye bc they are quite low profile. Vionic are not as “pretty” but are workhorses for me and they are a white leather so a little nicer than a canvas or other fabric option. Both are available in wide widths if needed.

    10. Naturalizer sneakers. Come in tons of colors and some have dressier accents like snakeskin or leopard. Come in regular and wide width and fit orthotics well with removable soles if needed.

    11. Try Repetto’s, their sneaker style (i.e. “ballet sneakers”) might be easier for your eye to adjust. There are lots of dupes these days as well.

    12. I like my Golas, also they are maybe not the most stylish I like Supergas.

    13. I like the Birkenstock sneakers in «regular» (the wider one). Great toebox, very comfortable.

    14. LEMS and Whitin shoes both have wide toeboxes.

      Whitin has some cute canvas options. LEMS has more options total, are higher quality, and are more comfortable for me. But they are way pricier.

  2. is the reason you can’t stop thinking about it is that it’s hideous bound to be unflattering and will look wrinkled and unkempt by noon?

    1. It’s certainly a lewwk. Maybe for a museum or art gallery trip, where you’re mostly standing.

    3. I feel like (as a person who is in the throes of hormonal size flux), I should have bought this at 30 and would likely have a use case for for decades, if not forever. It is presentable around the face and shoulders, so OK for when the focus is above the waist (like a zoom or any casual office) and forgiving elsewhere. More clothes should be like this.

      1. But it is a WORK caftan. How I have often wished for exactly this to go from theoretical to actual.

    5. Yes. God it’s awful and I say this as a sweaty perimenopausal woman who doesn’t want any fabric near her, loves green and loves poplin.

    6. I’m 45 and still have a figure, so personally, I am against anything that disguises my waist.

      That caveat aside, I can see this working for someone who leans into the look.

    7. I hate it but I still think it would be 1000% better if it was a solid color rather than the colorblocked look.

    8. Yes, I was trying to be gentle and think, great for someone else not for me. But…. Oof. (and I adore green.)

    9. If it was just a skirt (fitted at the waist), I think it would be pretty. At least the way it is pictured, it seems to have some nice movement. The top half looks like an ill-fitting maintenance worker’s jumpsuit. Combined, it’s giving old tarp from the 70s your parents pulled out of the “camping gear” pile in the basement.

    10. I kind of love it, while realizing it would look terrible on me. It’s a lot of look but it makes me smile.

    11. I have a colleague who is young and cool and would look terrific in this — she wears a lot of oversized stuff like this and looks amazing. Good for her, not for me.

      1. And I have a colleague who is in her 70s, has an edgy vibe and would also look amazing in this (in fact I think she owns something almost exactly like this in a bright color).

    12. I work in the arts and can envisage this dress being worn by many colleagues. It’s an interesting shape even if it’s not flattering.

      1. I also work in the arts and was going to say the same thing. I actually kind of love it.

        1. I get that this is a modern take, but I think flattering clothes help you mentally “show up.”

          1. This may be true for you and people like you. But some people are going to be mentally much more focused if their clothes are completely out of the way as a consideration (which can include a shapeless bag like this dress).

    14. Not for me but can see how it could be stunning on the right person. Some things just hit better IRL, and she saw it IRL.
      Now in my vocabulary: “work caftan” lol

  3. Has anyone used an online personal trainer? Possibly from another country?

    I would like to work out online with a personal trainer roughly two evenings a week at 8pm EST.

    Looking for recs. Thanks!

    1. curious. why? because it would be cheaper? During COVID i worked out online it’s not the same or as good as a real in person trainer and honestly i’m not sure it was any better than doing a youtube routine for free.

      2. Sorry, I have kids and am often parenting solo so can’t leave the house for in person exercise. I’m new to weight lifting so would want the posture correction aspect of a trainer.

        1. Single mom here. YMCA nearly always have childcare and their PT rates are the best I’ve found. My local gym quoted me $100 per hour session and ymca was $65 per hour. They gave me a further ‘pity’ discount so it was $50 per hour. They also had childcare and parents night out once a month.

          Forget lifetime gyms. YMCA is the single parent secret sauce. They nearly all have good childcare and good gym facilities at a very affordable price.

    2. Kind of? I use the Ladder app. It’s not technically a personal trainer but my coach cues just like one. You can do it any time of day. They’ve gamified it enough to where I work out way more than I did with a gym membership. A bonus for me is I can’t cancel at the last minute like I could with a personal trainer.

      1. Another vote for Ladder. I’ve been using it for over a year now and am the most consistent with strength training I’ve ever been.

    3. Yes I have been doing a fitness program called KMAK that is based in the UK, and my coach is in London. They have had 3500 clients and the vast majority are in the US. My coach designed a strength training plan for me 3x/week, plus a weekly step count goal and a nutrition plan. I much prefer a virtual trainer than an in-person one – I can do the workouts on my own schedule instead of having to work around an in-person trainer’s schedule. Also I have found that in-person trainers don’t provide as much support on diet and nutrition, which is the key to fat loss. I have lost 13 lbs in 5 months and am just 10 lbs away from my goal weight.

  4. Is it normal for an employer to assign employees to promote the employer’s events on their personal social media? I can understand asking, but not ordering.

    3. It probably depends on the industry. This wasn’t unheard of when I was in higher ed. I was in a comms role but employees who weren’t in comms were also pressured to promote events on personal social media. They couldn’t force you to, but it was expected by some bosses and people who didn’t were seen as not team players. Higher ed is kind of a cu1t though.

    4. When I worked at an environmental non-profit, we used to do things like this on twitter–promoting our enviro partners, promoting our work, with various likes and re-tweets. No one ordered us to do it, but we would have been out in the cold if we hadn’t.

    5. Mmm depends on role and industry/company, and what exactly the assignment is: “Post one of these three messages about our new product launch on LinkedIn” is different from “sync your WhatsApp contacts to our sales database”.

      IMO, it’s common to be asked and for that to bleed into pressure, but pretty rare for a company to actually fire people for refusing. But it’s the kind of thing that takes some capital.

    6. My employer tried this and I work for a government agency. I did not do so, nor did anyone else in my department.

      1. Same. We had a political appointee who knew nothing about our field (or government) try to require this… it was immediately shut down by Legal!

        One guess as to which administration this was.

    7. Follow-up–does LinkedIn v. other social media make a difference? My employer sees employee LinkedIn accounts as its own property, which does not seem right.

      2. I think LinkedIn is different than other social media and it’s more appropriate for an employer to ask you to share things there.

        1. +1. I work in comms. We have asked (not required!) people to promote things on LinkedIn, but never more personal social channels.

        2. +2. I still think it is strange to “order” an employee to post something on LinkedIn, but very common for companies to ask. My law firm often encourages attorneys to repost stuff on LinkedIn. I decline because I am just not that an active of a LinkedIn user, but others do it.

      3. Your personal profile is 100% NOT your employer’s property!

        I work in a large company, so we have a whole system dedicated to making it easy for employees to share content, announcements, events, etc. to their personals LinkedIn profiles. We incentivize this behavior with giftcards, a free pass to the event, recognition, cash prizes, etc., precisely because we know we can’t force people to share from their own feeds.

        It’s a very common ask for people to share, but ordering someone to do it, requiring it when that wasn’t part of the job description, and/or directly penalizing people who don’t post is way out of line.

        Unless your job is literally Ambassador, Evangelist, etc. where the whole reason you were hired is to speak, write, and post about the company, they shouldn’t be trying to force or pressure posting, or co-opt employee profiles for company use.

    8. I’ve worked several places where employees with key visibility (sales, speaker SMEs, etc.) were routinely provided with posts about conference attendance, awards, etc. versus the company channel to improve reach and engagement. NBD. Not sure if it was required but most appreciated it.

    9. As a comms/corporate social media professional, yes this is extremely normal to ask employees to do on LinkedIn.

      Asking employees to do this on platforms like Facebook or Instagram should be more of a soft suggestion, if anything, but employee’s LinkedIn pages are an important platform for extending brand messaging.

      The LinkedIn algorithm prioritizes content posted from personal pages over content posted on corporate pages, so any marketing/social media team worth their salt will want to leverage employee pages.

      This is actually a win for employees so long as the corporate content is well-written and contains valuable information…reposting offers a “halo effect” so that employees look to their followers like they are up-to-speed on the latest industry trends.

  5. If you are in BigLaw, how many attorneys do admins have these days? I open up a ton of matters each month and am doing transactional work with a lot of documents to set up and sig page packets etc. We are changing ratios again and I feel that I will eventually have to use attorneys to do admin tasks and that clients definitely won’t pay for this (we are penny wise and pound foolish). Not to mention staff isn’t cross trained, so if you need anything in December or when your admin is out, you are f*cked with getting conflicts done or new matters opened because a litigation admin (or whatever) doesn’t know how to fill out your stuff or they are already overwhelmed.

    We just suck.

    1. Not in BigLaw anymore, but my old firm is now at 7-9:1 ratio – if older parnters who are considered to still need more help are assigned to someone, then that person has 7 lawyers; if it’s all younger lawyers, then it’s 9. Attorneys now enter their own time and handle their own expenses and travel arrangements, none of which I ever did. I think it’s a terrible change.

    2. My admin is currently supporting 6 professionals, a mix of attorneys and paralegals. It’s not great. I have similar problems with the other admins not being familiar with our practice area and having trouble helping when she’s out. In general, I don’t use my admin a lot, but that makes it all the more obvious that even on the occasions that I do need support, I either don’t get what I need or don’t get it on a timely basis.

    3. My assistant has 6 attorneys and also is back-up for 2 more. I think that is pretty standard these days.

      1. Does it actually work though? I feel like there’s no play in the system and we are just relying on people being tech savvy to do admin tasks. Our backup word processing doesn’t really work reliably either because they may be trained to do A and add things in that aren’t wanted when the task is B (saving a redline as a version, adding new versions, etc).

        1. It does not work for me at my firm. And one person always leans way harder on the admin than the others, so it’s very unbalanced when I do need urgent or specialized assistance.

    4. Our’s usually have 6-7 attorneys assigned, but we also have a separate general admin pool the whole firm can use for things like conflicts, expenses, travel arrangements, etc. (plus separate word processing)

  6. Any recommendations for a prenatal vitamin that doesn’t taste or smell like fish oil? I can’t stand that taste or smell.

    1. I don’t think there’s a solution to this. Even vegan omegas are a bit ‘fishy’ because they come from algae.

    3. Ritual prenatals have fish oil but are lemon scented from a bottle insert. If you take them quickly after taking them out of the bottle there’s no fish taste/smell. I take them at night so I don’t get any fish burps.

      Thorne prenatals don’t have fish oil at all but I found the general vitamin smell so bad that I couldn’t stomach them.

    6. With the caveat that I didn’t have this aversion, I took Garden of Life and never noticed an issue.

  7. Whats the protocol on sending a hey girl email to someone’s work email?

    It’s a friend’s partner, I don’t have her cell, she has no SM so the options are tell her at a party/dinner or email. In person is messy but email will inevitably mean her admin reads it since she’s c suite.

    For context I’m friends with the cheater so I’m certain there is no open relationship or anything, we’ve told eachother everything for 15 years. Normally I wouldn’t get involved but they’re currently trying to conceive so my inner girls girl wants to give her the opportunity to escape before it’s too late.

    2. Do you mean actually revealing all in the email? I think the protocol there is… omg absolutely NOT, no way, never. Nobody wants to receive that news at work and you have no idea who has access to her emails and whether they’ll blab around the office before she’s even read it. I think if you really must you could email or call her office and give your own details and ask her to contact you about an important personal matter.

    3. I’m a strong advocate for minding your business. It sounds like you aren’t inclined to do this (you really should) but don’t send something her admin can read.

      2. Genuine question, if you were being cheated on would you prefer to remain ignorant?

        1. I would not want to know about a one time thing if no one got pregnant and no diseases were contracted. I don’t think that’s a super unpopular opinion? I would want to know about a longterm affair but NEVER at my work email address.

        4. No, I would not want to be ignorant. But OP, I would not want to be told via an email that is not kept private.

          And I definitely would want to know if I was trying to conceive and the affair is ongoing. oh my goodness…

    5. Good on you for letting her know.

      Can you make up an excuse to have coffee with her and tell her or give her a note then?

      Don’t email her at work when her admin would read it first but your instinct to tell her is right.

    6. If I’m understanding this correctly, you want to send a message to your friend’s partner telling her that your friend is cheating? If so, don’t put they in the message. Just say you want to have a short call and ask if she can reach out to you at phone number or say that you want to send her a personal message and ask what’s her personal email.

      But if you do this, you are likely to loss your friend. Only you know if that’s worth it

      1. Ideally I’d like to send her an anonymous message so she knows before she has a baby with him, but I don’t really have a means to do that other than her work email. I’m not willing to sacrifice my friendship (he’s a crappy boyfriend, but we’ve been close for 15 years and he rescued me from abuse, the one and only person to step up for me).

        2. Yeah, sorry, no. You can’t do it publicly (which it is if her colleagues can read it) but also anonymously. She probably won’t believe it but her admin might.

        3. Surely she can receive actual mail in a sealed envelope at her work or home address?

          If you’re hoping to give an anonymous heads up, that’s the easiest way.

          1. Paper mail at her office would be opened for security reasons (so the mail folks would know rather than her admin, is that a leaser evil?)

            She lives with my friend so I’d be worried he’d open the letter.

          2. OP, have you told your friend what an a-hole he’s being? That wouldn’t make it better. But if you really think a future child’s happiness is at stake, you need to speak up and prepare to lose your guy friend.

          3. I have told me friend he’s been an ass but I really can’t lose him. When I was in the throws of abuse he physically extricated me from the situation, the best I got from anyone else (family included) was a supportive text.

          4. He would open mail addressed to her alone? That seems creepy and controlling and an even bigger issue than the cheating.

          5. I should clarify he wouldn’t open the mail on purpose in a controlling manner, he would accidentally open it because he’s the ‘adult’ in their relationship and does all the bill paying/admin, cooking, cleaning etc.

            He’s actually a great partner minus the affair thing (idk what the threshold between cheating and affair is but it’s multiple times with the same person).

          6. Actually, I suspect (intentionally or not intentionally) that you are trying to sabotage this relationship.

          8. Why would I want to sabotage the relationship?
            I’m very supremely not interested in my friend, we have a lot of fundamental incompatibilities (like kids!).

            I really had hoped she would be the one and he’d reform his effboy ways. I’m genuinely concerned for his girlfriend if she births his child and doesn’t get her happily ever after.

          10. “ He’s actually a great partner minus the affair thing (idk what the threshold between cheating and affair is but it’s multiple times with the same person).”

            “It was actually a great meal minus the shards of broken glass!”

        4. You can’t tell her, even anonymously, and also keep him as a friend. He will suspect you were the one that told her.

          And she will ignore it. No one ever listens to anonymous tips.

          I think you should think about why you want to do this. It seems to be to assuage your own guilt, not to actually help her.

          1. I totally agree. Who else would tell her this information if not you? I guess the other woman perhaps, but I am almost certain your friend will put two and two together and realize it was you.

    7. Honestly, I agree with the advice above to stay out of it.
      But… if you needed to convey something sensitive in this situation, I’d email the work number and *just* ask that she give you a call/text at your provided personal number. No details, and IME people read between the lines to understand that it’s not something you want to put in work email.

      2. She’s C-suite and doesn’t have LinkedIn?

        If you insist on anonymity I would do it via paper mail. It’s fine if it’s opened by the mail clerk.

        That said, do you have another party you could tap for this? Is the woman close to someone you know?

        I’m also not sure how anonymous you would remain- how many people know about your friend’s affair?

    8. Whether or not you tell this person is up to you. But do not, under any circumstances, do it via email.

      1. I just don’t think she’d reply to an anonymous email asking for her personal cell number. Her admin might even delete it thinking it’s a scam. Do you think it would work?

        1. I don’t know, but I’m not sure what is lost if it didn’t work!

          I think a physical letter is better for putting sensitive information in writing than texting or email. The recipient can do whatever they want with it once they’ve read it.

        2. You want to tell her anonymously? Why would she believe you? If you said, hey this is Mary, Jack’s old friend and I have this news, then I’m sure she’d believe you, but Jack and you are over.

        3. You have some choices here, but you’re coming up with the wrong ones. You could tell her or not. But you can’t do it anonymously, and you can’t do it via email.

          You could tell your friend that if he won’t tell her, you will. But you can’t tell her and then keep him as a friend.

          So you can’t do what you want to: tell her anonymously and keep your friend. Make your decisions knowing the likely consequences for everyone involved.

          1. This is the biggest thing to me. An anonymous tip is never believable and you always worry about the alternative motives of the tipster. If you can’t put your name on it, you can’t do it.

          2. If I received an anonymous tip I think I would take it pretty seriously. I wouldn’t automatically believe it, but I also wouldn’t automatically believe it with a name on it.

    10. I would want to know this in her shoes, but it would be a painful experience. I would absolutely not want my admin to know (but do you know her admin reads her emails? Everywhere I’ve worked, admins see only calendar invite emails but not all emails unless otherwise cc’ed).

      I think the best is to send a message saying you had something you wanted to ask her privately and to call you as soon as she’s able with your number. You need to somehow convey that she should not ask her significant other what this is about or relay that you reached out before she connects with you, because I definitely would if I got something out of the blue from an friend who is closer with my SO than me. Is there any chance that another friend might have her number?

      1. I have the same read. I think there’s nuance, and this could be an exception to the general rule of “stay out of it”. If it’s recurring cheating, I’m team tell your friend her tells or you do, and then you do it NOT anonymously and plan to lose friend.

        Divorce is messy and SO much more so with children. There are multiple posts each month on this board and the other about people feeling trapped with cra ppy spouses and sticking around longer than most would for the kids. I’m 41 with 2 little kids in the thick of parenthood and, if this was me, I’d have wanted to know 15 years ago so things didn’t get this far. I also would not have argued this position pre kids, but my opinions have evolved on the topic, esp when habitual/repeated.

        Also, OP, your friend sucks.

        1. I really think the “stay out of it” rule can cause a lot of pain over time (most of us really do not want to be the very last one to know!).

    11. Next time you’re in the same place come up with an excuse to get her number, like take a cute picture of her or her and her partner and ask for her number to text it to her or text her to remind her to send you the name of that great restaurant she went to or something. Then call her and talk to her. Do NOT try and share this info anonymously; she’ll have no way to assess its credibility or deal with it other than asking her partner, who will presumably deny, and then she’ll be left feeling crazy and having no support from anyone. If you’ve decided you can’t tell her, then ask another friend who knows what’s going on to do it.

      If she has an admin who is involved enough to read her email, she surely opens and reads physical mail too so that’s not a better option.

    12. You email her for a coffee date or you call her work line, if you want to get involved. If.

    13. Hi All, message recieved.

      I guess my move is to say nothing and hope either the mistress gains a conscience or the infertility wins.

      2. Or your friend gains a conscience.

        Also, “the infertility wins” is a horrible thing to say, period.

      4. The mistress gains a conscience??? How about the person IN the relationship? You’ve lost all credibility here by placing all blame on the other woman when he is undoubtedly equally if not more to blame.

        1. I’m not willing to light my life on fire for a woman I barely know even though I think (thought?) she deserves to know. I also didn’t realize how common it was to just rather not know. I didn’t think it was so crazy to want to tell her and keep myself out of it. FWIW there’s 5 people who know of the affair (4 friends and mistress).

          2. Only one person said they wouldn’t want to know? Pretty much everyone said they’d want to know just not at a work email that can be read by their admin !!!! There are lots of better ways to contact her suggested on the thread.

    15. No. Never. Stop now. And don’t be so flippant. I think that you’re referencing this as a hey girl email says all there is on this. Back off. Her private life is tough. She doesn’t need this bleeding into her professional. And that you don’t know her well enough to have personal contact or respect to do it face to face says all there is to know about this–not.your.business.

      Would I want to know? I’m married 20 years. Probably not. Definitely not at work. And definitely not by someone who isn’t my family member or dearest friend or by some anonymous means. Just the thought of an admin reading something like this or even someone getting an email and feeling like someone, heck anyone, could be watching feels just so, so gross. You don’t know them. The TTC might be why she’s still sticking it out for all you know. You’re not being a girls girl here as much as you think.

        1. This stranger being gross doesn’t make it right though.

          Honestly, I think having some stranger, especially someone with the desire to do things anonymously and potentially in a way that startles her at work or in a non-private viewing experience, compounds the awfulness of what he’s doing. Yuck.

  8. If anyone has United miles to burn, there’s a lot of discounted award space in business class to and from Japan (and possibly other Asian countries?) right now. I got tickets to and from Japan for 85k miles per person in March, which is conventionally seen as a tough time of year for deals due to cherry blossom season and spring breaks.

  9. Ideas for 3 year old birthday gift? My parents and in laws have started asking for ideas, and I just can’t think of anything. We either already have it (nugget, yoto, bike) or don’t have room for it (play kitchen). What toys did your 3 year old love?

    1. We’ve gotten lots of enjoyment from museum/zoo memberships – is there a children’s museum that they can sign up for membership for? At age 3, those are great for burning energy

    7. My first orchard. It’s a board game.

      Duplos.

      kiwi crate might have something for that age range, I’m not sure.

      2. Yes! Big First Orchard fans here. Also, you can never have too many magnatiles and they store compactly. We also got a small water table at that age that’s still going strong.

    10. For me, half the point of having a Yoto is that I can just ask for new cards for birthdays. They take up no space.
      You can also ask loved ones to record stories for MYO cards, but I can tell you from experience that’s much more work for you chasing them, troubleshooting bad recordings, and making the cards

    11. Books — Gerald and Piggie are excellent and you can get a stuffed animal to go with it.

      Pool/beach toys.

      Costumes are a huge hit at this age.

  10. Has anyone had a Prenuvo scan, and if so, did it prompt you to get further scans/monitoring, and what has your experience been with that? Just got my report back, and have an appointment set up with a specialist to go over a finding. Nothing urgent, but my sense is they will suggest once or twice annual MRIs to keep an eye on it.

    1. Why did you have this scan?

      Following something twice a year on MRI (for the rest of your life?) is a really unfortunate sequelae of full body scans like Prenuvo. Lots of false positives, and things of unclear significance. Dots and cysts and scars and blips that no one knows what they are, and are probably nothing. So then you have to spend thousands of dollars to follow them (MRI ugh) or biopsy them and then there are complications that can arise from that. And it leads to more health anxiety for many.

      If you have health concerns then it is always fine to refer yourself to a specialist (or geneticist if you think your family history is putting you at risk for cancer, for example) to ask about your risk and make sure you are getting specific, appropriate screening. But generally it is not a great idea to get these full body scans. And I hope your follow-up is with an in person doctor (not over the internet) who can examine you and is affiliated with a major hospital system

      There are simple blood tests that are being used now to try to screen for cancer cells in the blood (Galleri) that could potentially reveal a hidden cancer anywhere in the body, and even its type. They are still in development and don’t have great sensitivity (like 50%), but it is an interesting idea. Maybe one day out our yearly physical appointment we will all get a Galleri blood test, and not have to be subjected to uncomfortable mammograms! I am followed by an oncologist now, who follows patients who are likely to develop multiple types of cancers. She is starting to use Galleri testing. But it isn’t covered by insurance and is still expensive (like $1000?).

  11. Is anyone else frustrated by the blanket “lettuce” suspicion for this cyclospora outbreak? I get it, proof is hard to find and they don’t to name and shame private business because $$$, but there’s simply no way that all lettuce from every source is equally affected. As a consumer, I’m left wondering whether I should avoid all lettuce, conventional lettuce, organic lettuce, farmer’s market lettuce, etc. I’m in a related industry (to public health) and there have been SO many failures to communicate basic health information in recent years, worse since COVID. No wonder trust levels are so low.

    1. They really don’t know. Most people don’t keep food diaries, and symptom onset is so long after exposure that it’s hard to rely on memories.

      It does feel unfair that a lot of farms and processing centers that provide time and facilities for hygiene and that don’t have water sanitation issues are going to experience the same effective boycotts as whoever is actually responsible.

      Every PSA I’ve seen has suggested alternate sources though (like local farms that aren’t highly centralized and whose food doesn’t pass through highly centralized processing where parasites can spread).

      1. OP here and I think that’s my issue with this – there are farms and farmers out there who give a damn about hygiene but if you just say “lettuce” then they are hit the same. Such vague and misleading information has been shared already – what difference does it make to add in “most likely from large suppliers”?

    2. I am in Michigan, at the epicenter of the outbreak I guess, and I also work in Public Health and am frustrated with the lack of information. It feels like the early part of the pandemic when the guidance seemed to shift daily. It’s probably because a commercial farm didn’t use compost that was properly treated. For now I am cooking all vegetables and buying produce at local farmers’ markets instead of supermarkets.

      1. I thought organic certified foods weren’t supposed to use human sewage derived compost. Maybe they can still get contaminated from shared water ways though!

    3. Is it a failure of communication; or a failure of information? My understanding is that they don’t know, reliably, what the source is. If they did, they’d just recall those products!

    4. The issue is really with bagged/boxed lettuce. If you buy a head of lettuce where you can remove the outer layers, it should be fine. I also think anything sold at a local market is probably fine, although you wouldn’t really get bagged lettuce there anyway.

      1. Have they really narrowed it down to bagged/boxed lettuce? That’s always a riskier food in general, but I thought there were other possibilities still currently for this outbreak.

        1. Not definitively, but that seems to be the likely source. From NYT: Health officials in Michigan said that lettuce or salad greens were a potential source of the recent outbreak of cyclosporiasis. Instead of buying bagged or pre-mixed salad kits, they recommended using whole heads of lettuce, discarding the outer layers and rinsing under running water.

      2. Yeah, I’ve seen those rumors, but this is how NYT reports it (from Michigan): “‘Current results point to lettuce or salad greens as a potential source for this outbreak’…the source was not yet definitive, and other food items could not be ruled out. They also did not specify a grower or supplier.” How is that actionable for someone living in New York or California? It’s so, so vague.

      3. I got it from a head of lettuce where I had removed the outer layers and washed it (with just water, not vinegar etc).

        1. How did you pinpoint that it was the lettuce? My understanding is that the symptoms start long after consumption.

      4. Also, if it’s grown hydroponically, it’s more likely to be safe. Gotham Greens and Little Leaf Farms are both hydroponic growers sold in various grocery stores that have put out statements that their lettuce is fine (and i feel like they’ve got to be pretty confident if they’re saying that or their lawyers would be jumping up and down yelling at them)

    5. Honestly I gave up lettuce a long time ago. There’s no value to it and usually some risk attached. It’s not like it tastes amazing? It’s just a conduit for other stuff.

      1. I feel the same about actual lettuce, but “lettuce” here is a catch-all term for greens, including spinach, arugula and kale.

      2. 🤷‍♀️ I enjoy the texture and flavor that lettuce adds to salads and sandwiches.

    6. There have been so many failures to communicate health info since literally all the public health infrastructure was targeted politically.

      There fixed it for you.

  12. TW: Pet loss

    A dear friend is unexpectedly having to put her beloved dog down after a rough few weeks. The appointment is scheduled for tomorrow. She has an active social life with many friends and family, but lives by herself and absolutely adores this dog. If you have been in a similar situation, what was something comforting that your friends did for you at the time? Or what have you done for friends that seemed helpful? When she texted and told me the news today, I burst into tears because I know how much her heart must be breaking.

    1. Can you drive her home after the appointment? Also bringing snacks is helpful because I was so nauseous and disassociated a bite of sugar was all I was getting down.

      1. Fortunately, we have a wonderful local vet who comes and does this at home, so she won’t need to go anywhere. But I will absolutely get right on top of the snacks.

    2. Get her the book Dog Heaven by Cynthia Rylant, and write a note including some specific anecdote about the dog.

      1. +1 – it’s the loveliest book and doesn’t matter what religion you are. I’m Jewish and was given this after our beloved dog died and it’s just lovely.

    3. Things we did for a friend in a similar situation: Had a group chat of her other friends so we could coordinate checking in on her without feeling overbearing. Made low key plans with her most nights for the week following (bring her food, offer to hang out, or come to our place and snuggle our pet, offer to clean up/out pet supplies and donate things if need be). Shared all our best memories of the pet. Helped her remember that she did the best possible thing she could for them and gave them the best possible life. Did various memorials for pet (ridiculous shirt with his face on it, fancy urn, painted gifts with his photo).

      This is going to all sound overkill to some, but we are all childless, mostly single, and in our late 30s/early 40s, so our pets are a huge part of our lives.

    4. Be with her at the vet appointment if you can and she wants you there. Pay for it, if you’re able to, or at least pay for the cremation and urn.

      1. Our pet insurance covered those costs. Unless she can’t afford it, I think being there for her is more important.

      2. I would feel weird about someone offering to pay for this unless it was known that I was in a financial bind. It’s very sweet but would be a strange offer to me.

    5. Can you be there with her during and after the appointment? I’ll always be grateful to my dear friends who came over while my beloved cat was being put to sleep at home. They stayed downstairs while I was upstairs with the vet, and stayed with me after the vet left. After the procedure, I couldn’t say goodbye quite yet so I walked out with the vet and my kitty. I was so glad that when I came back inside, I wasn’t immediately confronted with a totally empty house. That would have been really hard.

  13. I just read a Business Insider article about what a young woman spends on her hair, makeup, and clothes to feel she presents both as her authentic self and as professional, particularly when networking. Spoiler alert: It was a lot. The sum did not shock me. The fact the article is illustrated with a photo in which she is wearing an off-the shoulder dress and a name tag adhered to the bare skin of her upper chest did.

    1. Haven’t read it but my hot take is that confidence paired with clothes that fit you (whether or not they’re expensive and trendy) goes a lot farther than the money or even beauty itself. There’s pretty and thin privilege, no doubt, but you can 100% be overweight or average-looking and have that “special something” of charisma and confidence that makes you powerful in a professional setting. I think more people would do better to focus on developing charisma (it’s absolutely something you can cultivate) because the pay-off is higher than the incremental benefit you might see from paying $250 each month for the perfect blowout vs. doing your hair at home.

      1. yeah I dated a guy from Miami and spent some time living there and it’s kind of its own planet. Part of why we broke up is that I didn’t want to live there longterm.

  14. Little late, but any tips/scripts for handling a 90 day check in at a new job when you’ve come to the conclusion that it’s not a good fit/not a company I really want to work for, but I can’t exactly quit with nothing lined up?

    1. There’s no benefit in telling your employer that you’re not planning to stay long-term. Be positive, BS a couple goals, and ramp up your job search on the DL.

      2. One week later: “this role is not the right fit for me and I’ve decided to move on”

        I did nearly this a decade ago. I worked for an amazing boss at an employer that vastly underpaid. He told me that I was doing a wonderful job and really hoped I would be in it for the long run. Meanwhile I was interviewing elsewhere and got another offer a week later. Sorry boss!

    3. The job market is tough for a lot of white collar workers. I would try to stay neutral and listen to what they have to say non-defensively.

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