ByElizabeth Hours Updated
Comments 228 Comments

Frugal Friday’s Workwear Report: Crepe A-Line Midi Skirt

This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

A woman wearing a white top, black-and-white floral midi skirt, and black mesh flats

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

Every summer, I end up purchasing one item from Old Navy that I wear into the ground. Last year, it was a shirtdress that I wore to the office once a week; the year before it was a T-shirt dress that I bought in three different colors. With that in mind, I have really high hopes for this crepe skirt that’s on its way to my house right now.

As someone who spent the first decade of her career in pencil skirts, I’m thrilled to see more voluminous silhouettes coming back in. I bought the solid black colorway, but if it’s a hit, I’m going to go back for this flowered version that’s giving me fabulous ’90s vibes.

The skirt is on sale for $17.49 (marked down from $34.99) at Old Navy and comes in sizes XS-4X, ST-XXLT, and XSP-LP

Sales of note for 5/23/25:

228 Comments

  1. Looks like a fun pick for a breezy summer look. I bought the T Tahari midi skirt that was dunked on so rudely a couple of weeks ago, and it’s great. It drapes really nicely.

    1. I don’t recall that skirt, but this one immediately brought to mind what my Sunday school teacher would wear in the 90s, and sorry, I get that’s trendy for young people now, but I’ll leave this look to them!

      3. Wait! Make it a spaghetti strap dress, then add a white baby-doll T under that has the wavy arms and neck-line. If you want to add a bit of goth, pair with Docs and a choker. We are officially back in 1998.

        1. Every time I go shopping with my 18-year-old daughter I cannot help but exclaim over how all the clothes in the teen stores are exactly what I wore at her age.

          1. I went to hot topic the other day and I was absolutely befuddled by all the shirts for niche early 2000s emo bands. Like do the kids these days think these are classic bands? Is this the modern equivalent of a Metallica shirt?

          2. I was a teenager in the mid-90s and my mother would always remark on how she should have saved her clothes when she was a teenager in the 60s because it was all back in style– bootcut jeans (bell bottoms), babydoll dresses (flower child dresses), etc. I find it funny that us genx/elder millenials think we invented this look when really the designers stole it from our boomer mothers.

        1. Also 40. Besides having this kind of skirt and dress forced on me at too young an age, I also worked at a Dress Barn in college and this kind of skirt and pattern was VERY prevalent.

    2. I agree, it looks like a fun pick. And every summer I too have something from Old Navy or Target that I wear on heavy rotation. Last year it was a linen blend tank and shorts set.

    3. Turns out if you get to be old enough, you see things come around multiple times and the specific period associations tend to fade!

      1. It’s true. My 24 year old gorgeous daughter is wearing tiered, flowy “hippie” skirts lately, the same kinds of skirts my dear grandmother told me in the late 80s made me look like the side of a barn.

        They look wonderful on my daughter, though. And I’m not making any barn references in her company!

  2. I’m looking for shorts, and tend to struggle with non-athletic shorts because I have large thighs and a smaller waist so the legs tend to be too tight or they ride up and gape. I wear a lot of Athleta type skorts in the summer but would also like some shorts since I have a toddler and feel like I’m bending over all the time now.

    These seem up my alley however the price is a bit steep. Any similar dupes I should consider? Cap Hill Style featured Spanx shorts that could work but they’re similarly priced.

    https://vuoriclothing.com/products/womens-villa-trouser-shorts-black

    1. Old Navy has a linen blend short and a trouser short that are similar. Less than $20 per pair.

      1. They also make a chino pair that has a few inches long elastic band in the back button & zipper front. I just bought 2 pairs and they are a good fit.
        High waited OGC chino short

        1. I really love the pants in this style. High waisted OGC chino pants.

          My husband does the laundry and calls them my toddler pants because he remembers when our wee ones had elastic back pants way back when.

          But I’m not a tuck-er so I don’t really care about the elastic!

    2. Last season J Crew had some linen shorts with an elastic waistband. They may be back for this season. I got mine on Thredup for like $20, but they were usually listed as “athletic shorts” which they aren’t, because of the waistband. Just check the fabric listed.

    3. Target has an almost identical dupe to these that I bought. They also have really good elastic waist shorts that I buy every year in different colors. I also recently bought the J. Crew linen shorts on sale – they have a button-front closure and an elastic waist in the back, although they might have a shorter rise than you’re looking for. I wear shorts all summer in Texas and usually wear a mix of Target and LOFT since they have the best, comfiest shorts.

          1. Really? Because those of us impacted by Trump are boycotting Target’s capitulation. But you do you. Just don’t brag about it.

          2. Me “bragging about it” (aka just…acknowledging reality?) has exactly as much effect as you whining about it. Which is to say absolutely zero.

          3. So rude. I appreciate seeing reminders and acknowledgements about what people are doing to resist the terrible things that are happening. It makes a difference.

    4. I do not know about the Vuori shorts, but I have a pair of last year’s crepe trouser shorts from Spanx that I bought on clearance over the winter. I wore them for the first time this week, and my husband, who never, ever comments on my clothes, said, “You should buy some more of those shorts.” I would like to think that it was because I’ve been killing it at the gym, but I am scouring the resale sites for more because it probably is not. All that is to say that the Vuori shorts might be worth it.

    5. spanx is expensive but i do think the fit is generally better than what i’m seeing otherwise. if you like the shorts and you feel good in them might be worth it. i recently stopped by loft and old navy work pants and moved into spanx. theyre better.

    6. I’m a runner, so I have muscular thighs and a proportionally smaller waist. A lot of athletes are built that way, so generally, I need either tie-waist linen or something from an athletic apparel company.

    7. I have a similar body shape and bought a few pairs of high waisted linen shorts from Quince that I love. The waist is elastic and fits well and the legs are wider and flowy so I feel like they skim over my athletic thighs rather than constrict and linen so breathable for summer.

    8. I have these Vuori shorts in 2 colors and I love them! I brought them to travel with a baby – super light and comfortable in hot weather, and forgiving too.
      One note is that the fabric did pull a bit when I wore with a baby carrier.

  3. Kitchen demo starts today! I WFH and don’t want to hover. Other than having bottled water set out with a “help yourself :)” sticky note, do you do anything else for tradespeople working in your home? I’m in an adjacent room so I am available for questions.

    1. Let them know which bathroom they can use, but other than that I think you’re probably good.

      1. Sign with wifi info? Trying to remember how much I worked while our tiny kitchen was renovated. Demo is the worst.

    2. you are planning to WFH in “an adjacent room” during a kitchen reno??

      agree with the above poster re: bathroom and otherwise staying out of the way.

      1. My office is in adjacent room however I can easily get my laptop and move upstairs. Currently only the plumber is here which isn’t super loud/dusty yet. I’ve heard kitchen renos can be very messy even with all precautions to contain dust.

        1. yeah you’ll want to move. Even if there are periods of quiet, the unpredictable sawing, drilling, hammering, thuds, banging, cursing, calling out questions, grunting, etc?

          I’d set up your real WFH desk further away for this period.

    3. We just finished up a renovation of our entire main level and parts of another floor. I don’t mean to brag, but our contractor loves us. He tells us we’re their favorite client. The #1 thing we did was stay out of the way. We did not provide anything but a microwave (which they requested after they tore ours out). After that, they brought their own and just left it plugged in on our floor. I deferred to their judgment a lot, praised their work when I passed through, asked for their opinions when they asked me about something, rolled with the punches, paid promptly, took any concerns to the GC and not to the sub and phrased them as, “Can I get a second opinion on this?” The only sub we did not love was the electrician, who made some judgment calls on light placement that we did not agree with, but our GC made him fix them. The guys working on our home wanted us to love their work, which we did, and we told them so. So everyone’s happy. Hope your are as happy with yours as we are with ours!

    4. I would provide a microwave or tell them they can bring their own and a coffee pot/beans/filter if you can.

      After doing a couple of renos, my rule is to tell the GC that we need to be consulted before holes are drilled. Electricians in particular will put plugs and light switches in the easiest places for them but not in the places where they work the best or are the most convenient. Rough out where any holes in your countertop should be drilled and holes in walls for things like plugs and outlets before someone decides to make the choices for you.

      Hope it all goes really well!

  4. I get that doctors go to medical school and then do residencies to get more intensive training in a high volume place like a hospital or emergency room. I see how this makes sense for surgeons and anesthesiologists and obstetrics. But most patients see doctors in offices vs hospitals so how does that work for allergy doctors or dermatologists? I see a GP once a year and will likely forget to ask when I go again. Like how does are you an 80 hour a week resident with most things?

    1. Hopefully you’ll get an answer from someone within medicine, but as a patient, this is my understanding.

      Future MDs do clinical rotations in the hospital before they specialize. (So your allergist or dermatologist may have caught a baby before too!)

      I see research university hospital specialists who have residents on an outpatient basis all of the time. They’re booked out for months too. So I can’t imagine there’s any problem getting enough hours. I know some of them also do rounds at the hospital within their specialty.

    2. Resident dermatologists don’t work exclusively in the hospital. Most of their time is spent in outpatient clinics. This is true for (almost) every type of resident-even anesthesiology residents will work in ambulatory surgery centers or outpatient pain clinics. Also, not every resident works 80 hours a week! That may be the norm for surgical residents, but my son is in another specialty residency and his hours are something more along the lines of 8-5 daily, with weekend call every X weeks.

    3. It’s a little hard to tell what your specific question is but residencies are specific to specialties and vary widely. Dermatology has its own residency. Allergists would do an internal medical residency and then a fellowship in allergy and immunology. A derm resident will spend time in outpatient clinics, ORs, maybe rounding with an attending doing inpatient consults. They’re not working in the ER. Medical school is considered “undergraduate medical education” and residency is considered “graduate medical education,” so residents also spend a decent amount of time in didactic lectures learning about their chosen specialties.

    4. My allergist had a resident with her a few days ago when we took my kid in to be seen. This was in an outpatient clinic affiliated with a major hospital.

      Based on an offhand remark during that appointment, I think at least some pediatric allergists also do time in a pediatric ER to assist with asthma attacks, allergic reactions, etc., but could be wrong.

      1. That makes sense. With my sinus guy, it’s not like I’d have gone to the ER with a sinus issue. But you have to learn how to work that vacuum suction thing that is like what the plumber does to pipes.

      2. The pediatric neurologist that my kid saw had a resident or fellow (and sometimes two) at pretty much every appointment. I always kind of like having residents because I assume most physicians try to be on their A-game if they are training other doctors. My kid had a not-very-common kind of epilepsy (not House rare but the sort they might not see every week) so I felt like it was worthwhile for them to see a patient like my kid in their training.

    5. A lot of the specialties require a 3 year residency (internal med for adults and pediatrics for kids) followed by a fellowship. So allergists did the 3 years of the intense IM residency you’re picturing followed by a fellowship. Fellowships are often more relaxed (like 60 hours a week) and have more outpatient and research time.

      Dermatologists have their own residency, but they do a prelim year (the super intense one) and then 3 years of dermatology.

    6. All medical residencies are tailored to the specialty they train and the balance of inpatient vs. clinic that specialists will do.

      I did family medicine and spent a cumulative 12 months doing very intense “80 hour week” hospital rotations during my 3 year training. I also did several months of outpatient pediatrics, dermatology, surgery, cardiology, pulmonology, etc to become well rounded. Throughout my entire three years I had at least 1 day/week and often 3-4 days per week of my own longitudinal family medicine clinic where I saw my own patients repeatedly for years and managed their chronic medical problems as well as acute problems like UTI. I managed about 20 pregnancies and delivered all those babies during those years as well. It was a blast but I’m so happy to be done and have a much more sane schedule now.

  5. Hi! I’m looking for suggestions of white leather sneakers with a wide toe box. I had a pair of Vejas which I loved the look of but found slightly narrow. I was looking at either Stan smiths or sambas but I’m open to other suggestions!

    1. The Cole Haan Grandpro or Crosscourt collection is comfortable for my wider toe box, but the Veja Campo are a bit wider than those – so depending on which Vejas are too narrow for you, disregard accordingly.

      1. I have the Cole Haan ones too. They’re not as cute as Sambas, etc, but they are comfortable. Many other shoes were definitely cut narrow to me.

    3. I need a wide toe box and am happy with the Adidas Superstars in all white. Wore them all summer last year and it was like walking on a cloud.

  6. Intrepid DC shopper reporting back in. Earlier this week I asked for recs for stores I could shop in for classic work clothes in DC that I would not have access to in other cities. I’ve hit most and wanted to report back. I struck out at Tuckernuck, Ann Mashburn and Sezanne. In terms of assortment, I would describe them all as elevated Talbots – meaning, 80% of their inventory is for what for me would be leisure dressing. They do have a few suiting pieces that I could use as separates, but mainly in colors that would not stand the test of time, and therefore are not worth the price. The bulk of their clothing is not suitable for my office, unfortunately. (Having said that, loved the quality of Ann Mashburn fabrics – definitely going to look at them again for elevated non-work clothes). I had better luck at the MM laFleur showroom and ordered three pieces. Not cheap, but am very confident the cost per wear will be small. Also loved Secondi – found a cute layering piece there (linen vest) for only $25 but the one I really lusted after – a Brunnello Cucilnelli top that was a satin layer covered by a cashmere layer — was still too rich for my blood at $645. Still to try: Bitter Grace (which is apparently by appointment only, which I don’t love) and The Phoenix. Appreciate all the help!

    2. If your office is that formal, I’d skip the Phoenix. It’s a great shop and also has fun jewelry and home stuff, but it’s not for high end office wear.

    3. Honestly this is why I only shop online. I’ve gotten workwear at all those brands and have never found anything in-store I want.

    4. Thanks for this. For the second time in a season I suddenly have an important work event and seemingly no appropriate outfit (think: giving a speech to your lifelong idol level important!) and will find myself at the pentagon city mall this weekend hoping for the best. This city is rough.

    5. May be too late, but the owners of Upstairs on 7th are lovely. It is pricey, but a lot of high quality items (CDG, Kedem, Rundholz)

  7. I paid a landscaper to clear out a massively overgrown section (decade+ of overgrowth) of our yard that was inside the fenced area. It’s a decent sized area. They had to use a bobcat, to illustrate the severity of the overgrowth. This was done late last summer. Since then we’ve done nothing to it but with spring now upon us (we’re in Boston), the weeds are returning so we need to act before it becomes uncontrollable.

    I don’t know what the long term plans are for this area and we don’t have the budget at the moment to pay a landscaper to just snap their fingers and make magic happen to it. I would honestly just be very happy if it wasn’t full of waste-high weeds all spring/summer long. Bare soil or even low, ground-covering weeds would be good by me. I should note that the dog goes back here. The kids do not but theoretically they have access to it. The land abuts forest/conservation land, gets partial sun…maybe relevant details?

    So, what do I need to do? Assume I’m a gardening dunce. Spray with some concoction? Turn the soil (might be hard – it’s hard packed in some areas). Just weed-whack down the growth as it happens?

    1. Weeds are going to grow unless you maintain the area. There’s not really a magic solution. There’s some weeds you might like better than others (like mint) but you’re still going to need to pull up the stuff you don’t want there pretty regularly.

    2. I would spend this summer on rehabbing that area. Save all your cardboard boxes for a while, flatten them, and completely cover the area. (Note: you have to use uncoated cardboard for this — the plain brown kind that has the texture of a paper grocery bag). This will effectively starve the weeds. Get a load of wood chips (in most areas, tree removal companies will dump a load of wood chips for free — check the chipdrop app or website) and spread a thick layer over all of the cardboard. The cardboard and wood chips will naturally break down and help you create healthy soil. Then you can figure out how you want to use the space, what to plant (native plants tend to be the lowest maintenance).

    3. I would throw a bunch of mulch on it. Later, if you want to, you can plant some native low ground cover type plants…but the mulch will keep weed growth down in the meantime.

      Mulch is hard work, though, and costs could add up depending on how big the area is (It’s about $30-40/cubic yard for bulk mulch delivery in the DC area) if you can mow over the area it with your regular lawnmower, that might be the best interim solution.

    4. I’d plant clover. It will outcompete most other weeds and be nice and green. It’s a native plant (unlike most grasses!)

    7. Low cost & low time, I think just weed whacking or mowing it regularly is your best bet for this year. Long term, if you don’t want to have to spend on maintenance, you want to plant the most robust, easy-spreading native ground cover you like the look of (essentially, a “weed” of your choosing). But if what was in there previously was something super aggressive/invasive (like English ivy or Himalayan blackberry), you’ll still have to deal with that always trying to come back

      1. It’s hard to know what was there because it was a jungle. I plan to start using an app to identify what’s starting to grow back so I can try to eradicate the worst of it. Weeding all of it feels overwhelming but weeding only a specific type of growth or two feels more manageable, at least at this stage.

        Clover isn’t a bad idea. The area doesn’t have great drainage so I don’t have any hopes of it being a lush lawn.

        1. You will have to keep at it – consider gravel to smother it but still provide drainage?

        3. Mowing is probably your best bet if you want a low effort way to keep it from getting overgrown this season while you figure out what to do with it.

          Clover or some other groundcover native to your area would be nice, but you would need to do some prep work if you want them to thrive and not just get quickly drowned out by whatever is already established there.

        4. There are really pretty “rain garden” concepts online that might be worth checking out.

      2. Just mow it. If you stay on top of things it wont’ really matter what is growing there, you’ll be able to keep it manageable until you’re ready to decide what your longer term plan is.

    8. I would do eco-grass from prairie moon:
      https://www.prairiemoon.com/eco-grass

      I also just got the book “5 plant gardens” from the library and wished I’d had it when we started thinking about this.

      Your local extension office would be the best source for good cover crops to improve the soil and suppress weeds.

    9. I also live in Massachusetts and have a field that borders conservation land. This isn’t a job for clover or mulch alone or for your kids weeding by hand. You need to mow it weekly in order to get something approximating lawn this year or cover it with cardboard and then mulch in order to suppress the weeds. Spraying it is a bad idea if your dog and children have access to the area; just look at the Round Up litigation to see what persistent exposure to herbicides can do.

      I hate to be the bearer of bad news but there is no landscaper who can snap their fingers and make it look like a suburban yard. It’s going to be an ongoing task to keep the wilderness from taking it back, year after year.

      1. Cardboard… like regular old moving boxes just on top of the mowed-back weeds? They sit out there just… all the time? Presumably they would decompose? Tell me more about this.

        Don’t plan on using RoundUp. I’m a gardening dunce but know that much, at least.

        I think my dream is that it’s just not a weed haven. There are some big roots and whatnot so mowing is going to be tricky. Weed whacking may get the job done. We’re not talking a quarter of an acre – more like 800 sq feet? Not tiny but feasibly could be done by weed whack in sections on a rotating basis or in one focused swoop every couple weeks.

        1. Cardboard and THEN mulch. The cardboard acts as a barrier to weed growth in a way that mulch does not, but you don’t actually see the cardboard when you’re done.

        2. It’s called sheet mulching. You can use newspaper too. But typically if you’re going to plant plants it’s cardboard, garden soil, mulch. Yes, the cardboard breaks down below. If you wanted to plant plants at the same time, you can cut holes in the cardboard and put the plants in the ground. You can also throw an annual seed like zinnias out and have easy flowers there that will die back at first frost.

  8. Has anyone bought a small commuter car for work? DH and I are talking about potentially getting one for him. We have 2 vehicles both paid off and both larger vehicles for our 3 kids plus pets. He is taking a job in an urban area that requires him to drive a bit from site to site. Parking spots are pretty tight and there’s also the risk of vandalism or theft. His boss said that he has a weekend vehicle and then a smaller vehicle for commuting. Thoughts?

    1. I did when I commuted about an hour from my house. I bought a Honda Civic that was really good on gas. We eventually gave that car to my son when he started driving.

      1. Oh that’s great to hear and exactly what we were hoping. Maybe get some good use out of it and then later it one of our kids can drive it when they’re learning to drive.

    2. I haven’t done this, but I’ve worked with many people over the years who buy a commuting car due to a longer commute. It’s usually something like a Civic or Prius. Nothing fancy, but good gas mileage and they generally drive these until they die then get something else. This is definitely a time to buy something used.

      1. Yes, we had a family car and a commuter car for years before we needed two family cars. My dad lives in a rural area and has a giant pickup truck he drives for everything except commuting to work 50 min away. For that, he has a small sedan with better gas mileage.

      2. Exactly – a used EV sedan would be perfect here. A friend bought a used Prius for exactly this purpose. Bonus is that it’s much cheaper to insure a used car!

      3. My sister ordinarily drives a big SUV for her large family but bought a used Toyota Corolla for her long commute that she knew she’d only have to do for a few years. She sold that Corolla for exactly what she paid for it. Kind of miraculous honestly.

    3. We didn’t buy an additional car, but we basically have one SUV for road trips/driving kids and one smaller hybrid for commuting. I have a hybrid schedule and my husband has a shift schedule so on days he’s working and I’m remote he takes the smaller car. On days we’re both onsite, I take it since my commute is longer. I really like having the combination of both and we save a ton on gas. I also park in a parking garage built in the 70s/80s and really appreciate being able to squeeze my tiny car into the tight spots even when there are trucks on the lines on either side.

    4. As a city dweller with an office in tall downtown building, I would appreciate if everything me did this. So tired of trying to park next to a Suburban or an F150 parked in a compact space in the garage.

    5. Not specifically your scenario because I have no kids and only the one car, but yes, my subcompact Mazda 2 has good mileage for commuting, can manage Costco hauls, even moderate Home Depot hauls, and ski trips.

      1. Similarly, I drove subcompacts exclusively for years before everybody all of a sudden had huge vehicles, and I loved them.

        1. I have always loved station wagons. No one drives them in the US (popular in Europe though!) but they park much more easily than a giant SUV and honestly have just as much passenger and cargo space. I will never drive a giant car. I’m in an urban area and it’s just not practical here.

  9. I’m just lost.

    I worked in public ed for over twenty years. I switched to a US gov job for stability and to not deal with behaviors, parents. One year later, out of the gov job. I’ve been applying for state jobs, but nothing. I’m over qualified and they only pay 18-22 dollars an hour. I get interviews for private sector jobs, but they usually say they want corporate experience. My background is administration, program management.

    I don’t know what to do.

    1. I’m sorry this foolishness has affected you.

      I think you should take your admin experience and apply for executive assistant roles. Yes they are horrible, the execs that is, but the roles pay better and you have more visibility by senior leaders who often place their assistants into great positions leading teams that support their goals.

      2. A little tip, if you go for this role at Tech leaning companies, it seems like Executive Assistants present themselves very polished and younger leaning in makeup, hair and dress. I do see a variety of ages in the role, but it does have a front desk vibe where presentation/looks matter in hiring.

        I would keep applying for Project Management roles and try to network in the private sector. I’m still seeing a lot of remotely offered roles to give you a bigger application base. I’d guess the local roles are oversaturated right now.

    2. Grad school for more marketable skills and—importantly—assistance with job hunting. Pick a program that is focused on something that will appeal to corporations.

      1. I’m curious what more marketable skills are in demand? I already have four degrees and could retire in ten years or so.

        1. Nursing (and related medical degrees) are always in demand but may be more physically involved than you’d like.

          1. Ok once again…people in their mid forties without prior experience are becoming nurses? I just didn’t think knitting was a thing and yet it’s a constant topic here.

          3. I don’t think many people in their mid 40s are becoming nurses. Someone in their late 20s or early 30s getting a masters to switch to nursing – yes, that happens.

      2. There’s very little ROI from grad school for someone who’s clearly been working a while. OP, I think the suggestion to try for an exec admin role is good as are aiming a little lower in roles than you might think you’re qualified for. Also network network network – less traditional candidates do better through connections.

    3. Two ideas – first is admissions at your alma matter or a university near you. They don’t pay well, but you can do that for a couple years and then pivot into being a private admissions coach. Second is sales for a SLED focused software company. Tech is in the gutter and sales jobs are competitive, but sales will also churn through candidates that can’t/won’t do the job. Look for small and midsize companies. You might find something.

    4. If there’s a large public university near you, get in there. Take the first entry or whatever level professional job you’re offered to get your foot in the door. It’s possible to move up quickly once you make a name for yourself as someone competent and reliable. It’s hard to get in at a higher level unless you know someone, but entry level and move up is do-able.

      1. might need to wait a few months but I think there is a chance that universities will get out of crisis mode back to business sometime this year. Right now there are a ton of hiring freezes.

    6. I would look into LinkedIn learning or some of the online project management certificates (if you don’t want to get a PMP). There are some that are also more tool focused like Jira or Microsoft project.

  10. Screaming into the void.

    I moved back to NJ with 3 children. All 3 have ADD and two have autism. We have a state program which I’ve used before (it was pre COVID), Performcare. It worked well and my children improved.

    I’ve lived in this state more than 4 months now and I’ve followed the current process to only be denied, delayed and my children are failing. I’ve been late for work 2x this week. Last week I was late 3x. At home I don’t get to eat, use the bathroom or get enough sleep. Im a lone parent with no family living in this country.

    I received a letter this week that I followed up on this morning. Performcare approved my children for services for 3 days. I am apparently supposed to get my children to outpatient services. Again I get hold of the therapist who confirms they referred the children for long term care plans. They call to confirm the denial is correct and yes the kids were denied a second time.

    So here we go again. Applying for the third time, as is the therapist, to get what my children should have received the first time.

    2. Ouch, this sounds so hard. Can you reach out to organizations that support people with autism, and or ADHD and their parents? I found it essential to network with groups and other parents when our (only) child with AuADHD was in K-12. If you can’t get to events in person you can still find helpful information through email announcements, listservs, or other online resources. One such site in my area: http://www.xMinds.org .
      Sending hugs and solidarity! If you want more info or just to chat further, please post a burner email address.

    3. I’m so sorry. Big hugs to you. Can you look into respite care to get some time for you?

    5. hi! I also relocated to NJ with an ADHD kiddo and the county Family support Organization FSO (Link to follow) was very helpful in getting him free home based therapy+ an advocate for his IEP (not based on parental need). Reach out to your county’s org and see if they can help.

    1. FWIW, those are plated – it says “finished in 14k,” which is deceptive advertising but it’s not all gold.

        1. Totally sneaky! Just a caution that pure gold is very expensive rn and anything that sounds too good to be true probably is plated.

          1. The commenter from yesterday might have luck using any unloved/scrap gold she has in her jewelry box (or her family members might have stuff they’ll give her) and having a jeweler melt it to make her something.

    2. Tales from the junk pile on instagram has good prices on jewelry and occasionally has letter pendants. But it’s all luck and timing to snap it up. If the letter is posted I can also do some searching.

      1. Another caution here, most of their stuff is plated too. The things that aren’t are very diminutive.

  12. If you have a remote job, what is your job? I’m a fed in DC and while I am thankfully still employed, I am really feeling the squeeze. I have returned to office easily but am now being asked to work 9 to 5 with no schedule flexibility. I work 6am to 2:30pm to stagger hours with my husband to make our family life work and avoid traffic. I pick up the kids after school and log in from home every day to take care of things that come in after I leave the office (unpaid). Working 9-5 will make my 10 mile commute from 30 minutes to 1.5 hours at least and I’ll never see my family.
    I have worked in regulatory compliance for 20 years – where can I go from here? Feeling hopeless.

    1. To answer your question – I am in tech and there are still some remote jobs. The trick is looking for companies that call themselves “remote first”, have only remote teams and particularly ones that were remote pre COVID – they’re likely to stay remote forever, unlike ones that are still offering remote but mostly as a post COVID hangover, where everyone expects it to go away

      To answer the question you didn’t ask – honestly, I think 3 hrs round trip is simply untenable long term! If you thought that, what would you do next – move, new job closer to home, change up your commute (bike+public transit instead of driving)?

    2. I absolutely hate this kind of sh*t and think it’s very much a concerted effort to force women out of the workforce.

        1. This is a stupid argument for a few reasons:

          1. Many weren’t doing “just fine.” Many were struggling and dealing with immense stress trying to balance jobs and kids or other caregiving/personal needs. It was telling that people with disabilities began participating in the workforce in much higher numbers when WFH become the norm.
          2. Many people have had flexible schedules for decades. Pre-2020 wasn’t “butt in seat” for 100% of all employees. Women now are having long-term benefits revoked as part of the war against them.
          3. When we find better systems, like flexible schedules, we use them and improve them if needed. If the past was worse, we don’t need to put it on a pedestal.
          4. If you had it harder (no flexibility), you should want other people to have it better than you did. Wanting them to struggle like you did is a miserable state of being.

        2. I’m sorry you had no access to remote work before 2020.

          Many people did, and it was remote work that was going just fine. I know people who worked remotely for the past thirty years who are being affected by back to office policies now.

        3. Everyone at my workplace was shifting hours either pre or post rush hour, just like the OP described. That was absolutely normal pre-2020 for normal office jobs. Taking that flexibility away seems pretty punitive.

        4. Fed here and I had telework and some flexibility to choose my hours my entire career. I’ve heard about the Department doing this shift and feel for those employees. This clearly is a way to get people to resign, with no severance pay and no lawsuit, starting with women with young children.

        5. Most companies are rolling back pre-2020 flexibility and WFH policies. I have a colleague who was WFH 2014 and they’re trying to make her come back to the office in which she never worked in to begin with.

        6. The org where I worked was no longer able to hire people to work in person after about 2018 because quality candidates weren’t willing to relocate, regardless of gender. Remote work was already inevitable before 2020.

        7. This comment is untrue and unhelpful. My working mother had a remote option in the ’90s via a desktop “terminal”. I’ve been remote or hybrid since 2013, and it’s basically the reason I’m still in the workforce with kids. My husband has an onsite job (even during covid) and while we’re comfortable financially, we do not make “full time nanny” money which would be needed if both of us had 9-5+commute jobs where before/after care isn’t reliably available.
          OP, I’m sorry, this sucks. I’m a lawyer for a large company that is now officially 3x/week in office, but thankfully (so far) with lots of flexibility about days/amount of time spent in office.

          1. I may be closer to your mother’s age but I’ve been working from home off and on since the early 2000s. I also had to work on the road a lot. It can be done and has been done for a long time.

            My own mother worked from home as a bookkeeper and dispatcher in the 1970s!

          2. Oh, and I left out the important detail that my mother was a federal employee! Probably in a role that RFK Jr has since eliminated…

        8. lol. Who are you, Anonymous at 11:58? My husband has worked from home since 2000, both for himself and now for a major defense contractor. I had a job where I could pick 7-3 or 10 – 6. Those who have kids, no family and/or paid help, and terrible schedules were never fine.

    3. I think your only option would be to switch sides and work for the industry you regulate.

    4. I work in legal services and am 100% remote. Several people I know in compliance and risk management have landed in roles in places like EY, Deloitte, or smaller or niche risk or insurance consultancies.

    5. Sounds terrible. Can you drop to part-time and spend your spare time looking for another role?

    6. Look for risk management type roles in companies. Not sure what type of regulation, but I’m familiar with financial, cybersecurity, and privacy, and all three keep crossing my desk.

      I use Welcome to the Jungle and Wellfound to scout out companies and roles that seem intetesting, and apply directly on the company website.

      Stripe, Fanduel, and other tech companies often have very strong hybrid cultures that lean more remote-first. It’s tough to break in right now but worth a shot.

    7. I am an in-house regulatory attorney, and I work remotely >90% of the time. I drive 1.5 hours each way to one of our sites about every few weeks, and I fly (an hour’s flight plus an hour’s drive) to another site about once per quarter and stay 1-2 nights. I choose when to travel based on business needs and my own schedule.

    8. Work for a private company in compliance. What that company is will depend on your experience. I used to be the SVP of product for a big health tech firm and had two compliance people report into me directly, with dotted lines to legal. In my case, I needed someone to work full time on ensuring our product was compliant with various industry changes. When I left that job due to M&A and reorg, my compliance person was moved over to legal where they took on some contracting work as well since they compliance role was split between product and IT.

      FWIW both myself and my compliance person were remote.

    9. I always find it confusing when people say “what’s your job if you work remotely” — because it’s not the job that matters, it’s whether or not the company/organization is remote. I work for a fully-remote nonprofit (healthcare). I happen to work in communications, but my org has a million types of jobs that have nothing to do with comms. We just happen to be remote.

      So — there’s my answer. I work in comms, remotely.

      1. This is right, it’s company dependent and many are trending away from fully remote. I think it’s worth looking for flexibility but unrealistic to think there’s a growing or stable market for fully remote roles.

    10. I am so sorry. There’s an ocean of difference between having to be in office 10-2 with flexibility on either side to hit your hours and having to be in from 9-5 with no grace. Especially in DC where rush hour traffic is just brutal. I have to think that at some point the pendulum will swing back the other way, but it could be several years. Is that a sacrifice you are willing to make? Do you like your job enough to make moving palatable? If not…

      Brush up your resume and look at leaving government. Your knowledge is valuable – which companies would find it compelling? There are always attorney roles, start networking. Or consider looking at reg relations roles too. Start making a long list of places and keep checking their job sites. Have coffee with anyone who’s left your agency and talk about their exits.

    11. I’m fully remote in higher ed staff, although I don’t think it’s standard across the industry. My university is more remote-friendly than most, and even here it’s only because they converted a bunch of office space to dorms in 2020 and don’t have space to bring everyone back. The head of my unit is super eager to have everyone back in person and went so far as to rent his own office space adjacent to campus, but so far has not succeeded in requiring people to show up. Most people go in voluntarily a few days per week though. I’m pretty much the only person who doesn’t ever go in, and it’s probably hurt me at work, but I don’t really care.

    12. I’m so sorry this is happening to you – that just really sucks.

      I’m in tech, and am remote at a remote-first company. We had an office prior to the pandemic, but our company was about 80% remote. There definitely are remote jobs out there, just fewer than during the height of the pandemic. I think we’re back to close to the number of fully-remote positions as there were before 2020. (And there definitely were plenty! I have had multiple fully-remote jobs!) Fingers crossed for you that you can find one quickly.

  13. Just made an appointment with my gyn (in July) for bleeding between periods, which I thought was a normal part of peri but apparently isn’t. Should I stay away from google here?

    1. Yes. There’s a decent chance it’s something benign like fibroids or polyps.

    3. This can be a symptom of a lot of things. For me it was a polyp. Quickest outpatient procedure ever.

    4. It was a part of normal perimenopause for me. But yes they had me get an ultrasound that cost $3000. Ouch.

    5. It was totally normal, for me.
      And yes, stay away from googling health symptoms unless you have some sense that emergency treatment is needed/possible. You have a couple months to wait until you can get answers/treatment, so don’t drive yourself crazy for no reason.

    6. I’ve had it my entire life and docs just shrug. I’ve moved bunch and therefore seen a lot of docs and they have uniformly not cared. Caveat that I do believe it matters on which side of ovulation you’re spotting – if it’s before ovulation, it can be something that needs attention; post-ovulation, they couldn’t care less.

    7. Do you trust your gyn? I’ve basically had to teach myself everything I know about my cycle because many mainstream doctors shove the pill at you or ignore and tell you it’s normal. I’ve finally found a gyn NP whom I really like, but even she speaks to me in generalities that I know are false (like: after childbirth you should just consider yourself fertile until your cycle returns…my cycle has never returned before 14 months, I track it closely, and while fertility can return at any time, you are not actually fertile until about 2 weeks before your first ovulation and your body will give you signs. Women’s menstrual health is my soap box.)

      That said, I would probably find a good reference source (maybe Taking Charge of Your Fertility? Then something specific to peri) and also request an ultrasound. There are SO many potential causes of spotting.

    8. I’ve had the same issue this year and just had a sonohystogram to check for fibroids/polyps. I have one fibroid that isn’t likely the issue. The treatment options given to me are IUD, ablation, and hysterectomy. I’m going to have a hysterectomy if insurance approves it.

    9. 38, also having this issue, also thought it was NBD until I learned it wasn’t. I’ve had blood drawn a bunch of times this year to try to measure my hormone levels (learned nothing of relevance), had a thyroid med shoved at me bc my thyroid was normal but low thyroid sometimes can cause bleeding (didn’t take it) and now I think my doc is just shrugging. No advice but commiseration.

  14. Shopping help! Can anyone find me a space ship large enough to send every measles anti-vaxxer to Neptune? Willing to spend for the right one. TIA!

    1. I’m sure Musk would be glad to personally give them a tour of one of his. Close the door fast, and hit the ignition switch and you’ve taken care of two problems with one stone?

    3. He’s already launched one Tesla to space, can’t he send up a cybertruck and take RFK Jr. along for the views?

  15. Has anyone here tried an infrared blanket? I’m curious to know if they helped you with pain or sleeping better.

  16. At what age do you think people naturally start drinking less? If ever for heavy drinkers?

    1. I was never a very heavy drinker, but by my mid-30s, I noticed that even the modest amount of alcohol I drink (2 drinks/night has basically always been my limit) messes with my sleep and how I feel the next day. Also, champagne started giving me a headache. I rarely have more than a glass of wine or a single beer, now, and I sip celebratory toasts politely but ask for a small pour if the situation allows.

    2. For non-alcoholics, when they notice it starts feeling bad to drink. For many, that’s around late 20s.

      1. I’m 31 and I don’t drink anymore. I was never a problem drinker but even one beer will give me a headache and mess with my sleep. I want my body to feel good and alcohol doesn’t align with that.

        1. Exactly. Alcoholics don’t listen to their body’s cues, because alcohol is numbing their emotions and their emotions are worse than their hangovers. Non-problem drinkers can listen to their bodies.

    3. I’ve never thought about this as an age thing. Just shifting priorities in life, but could happen at various stages of life. Maybe the exception being if that person went through a period of frat boy style drinking habits due to either college or certain job environments.

    4. I’m 39 and I started drastically cutting down drinking in the last two years. Now I hardly drink at all. I just don’t enjoy it anymore and I’d rather be at home on my couch than out at bars!

    5. When I was no longer willing to feel like crap the next day. The amount of alcohol necessary to cause that state of being has and continues to decrease. My limit is two now.

      Thanks to Tirzepatide prescribed for weight loss, I have about zero mental urge to ingest any alcohol and will likely have at most a rare one glass of wine socially and often not finish it.

    6. I don’t think drinking less is related to age for heavy drinkers. For social drinkers I think it depends a lot on how the rest of your life changes. The 25 year old happy hour clubber may have a baby and toddler at 35, so the life change could drive the shift. Or at 35 you have a big job and can’t do the hangover yet still function.

    7. I was never a big drinker, and even getting really, really drunk in my 20s was likely to just make me really, really sleepy. Sometime in my mid-30s, after my second kid, I went from easily having 2-3 drinks over the course of an evening to 1 drink, possibly 2. Now I’m likely to drink half of a glass of wine, forget about it, then dump it out.

    8. I feel like it’s a combination of age and lifestyle? I’m 42, and I was never a very heavy drinker, but just like I’m kind of a foodie, I love a good cocktail and/or wine pairing, I like to celebrate with champagne, etc. Personally, I don’t feel bad physically after 2-3 drinks, although I know a lot of people my age do. But current me is much more likely to be driving and/or taking care of kids than I was a decade ago, so the frequency and/or amount that I might drink is much lower than it used to be.

    9. For me it’s been mid-30s. The physical and mental hangover effects now definitely outweigh the fun.

    10. Neither my husband nor I were ever heavy drinkers (averaging 4-5 drinks a week, very rarely more than 2 in a day), but once we hit our late 30s that turned into never having more than one drink and so rarely that I could count the number of drinks I have in a year on one hand. It affects my sleep and I’m already dealing with a chronic illness so I don’t need anything else that makes me feel lousy (I’m a great example of why the data on the health effects of alcohol are confounded).

    11. Boomers in my life drink the most by far and are defensive about the more recent research showing that alcohol is carcinogenic. One relative has the boomer duo – heavy alcohol consumption and a strict calorie/anti-fat focus the rest of the time. “I asked my doctor whether it was better to have my two drinks a day or be 40 lbs overweight and she couldn’t answer!” was a real comment out of her mouth last month.

      1. Did you chat with my mom? Because that sounds like something she would say. Also, “two drinks” equals two refills of her drink, but likely far more than two servings. As a result, her dinner is often one grilled chicken breast plus some veggie. It is problematic, to put it mildly.

      2. As a GenX, I can 100% imagine my boomer mom saying that to a doctor. That said, I think she views having a nightly cocktail as more valuable than living an extra few years alcohol-free.

    12. I’ve found that tolerance tapers off with age, so what I used to be able to drink 10 years ago will give me a headache now. So, I drink less.

    13. I’m 45, and I’d say that a lot of friends went from “light/social drinkers” to “nondrinkers” in the last 2-3 years. A lot of that is the physical issues people mention below, but I think some people also leaned into drinking & related hobbies as a COVID habit and then leaned back out later.
      At the same time, other options have been legalized in my state and increasingly socially acceptable in my suburban parents social group, so that has filled a gap for some people, often without the negative physical consequences the next day.

    14. 31 now and I stopped drinking at home at 28.

      I’ll go out for a weekend afternoon pizza slice+beer solo, or have a happy hour drink with a coworker once or twice a month. So 1 -3 alcholic drinks per month.

  17. This is messy. Maybe more common overseas (like didn’t one French premier have a second family?) or where people may find that their prior relationship results in a common law marriage. Here goes:

    Mom and Dad were married and kids. Then it fell apart. Separate rooms for a while, frosty relationship; Dad got his own place. IDK why they didn’t divorce at some point, but it was contentious. Mom never dated again. Dad did. When he died suddenly, his GF got that he was “separated,” but where we live, that isn’t a formal thing the way it is in CA. Still, he was separated for a decade. The GF isn’t a bad person, but Mom is on the warpath that she even exists, much less is being public about how devastated she is (like on FB). At least she’s not in our town. Mom inherited all of Dad’s money and retirement things. It’s just a fountain of drama and I just miss my Dad. I wish that the primary adults here, my parents, had been more adulty, but no one ever envisioned this. Dad and his GF don’t have kids together (they are both retired when they met). So IDK why there is anything to be messy about here, but there is.

    1. Ugh, I’m sorry. No one may have wanted to think about it, but this was completely predictable and your dad should have made provisions for the GF (if that was his wish). That said, your mom should count herself fortunate that she has the money and let the rest go.

      Hugs, OP.

    2. I think your Mom is bro g unnecessarily dramatic and I would not hesitate to gray rock on this particular issue. No need for you to suffer the drama.

    3. Honestly I think it’s a little juvenile that the GF is posting about her grief on FB.

      1. Why? This guy was her partner for a decade and he died. Seems normal even if he didn’t tidy up and divorce.

          1. Oh come on. There’s a lot of people who never officially divorce. This isn’t side piece territory. You need some more life experience.

      2. I thought Facebook is used (in it’s original social network way) by older generations and juvenile would be to post on tiktok?

        I’m sorry OP, this all sounds really depressing on top of losing your dad. And unnecessary.

      3. Grief is weird on FB. I know some people who are old enough to be grandparents who post for each holiday and anniversary of birth / death for each parent and how much they are missed. IDK any widows / widowers yet, but maybe our generation will be of the “post to publicly mourn” the way in prior generations we left flowers or donated altar flowers at church? Things are just different now. I have worn all black as a fashion choice for years, so IDK how I’d even publicly mourn someone. Probably quietly though; flowers are lovely. Maybe a donation?

    4. I’m so sorry. When my uncle died, my aunt decided to go ballistic on her stepdaughter over the estate. There was no will, and they spent a bunch of money fighting one another to divide it up the way that it would have been divided up with no fighting. I’m irritated that my uncle didn’t bother to have a will, irritated at my cousin for fighting my aunt over money my cousin doesn’t need, and irritated at my aunt for not protecting herself better when she married an older man with children from a prior marriage.

  18. Why, in this year of 2025, are recipes that involve pulled or shredded meat still saying use two forks? Here’s the PSA: use a handheld mixer on the lowest setting. Faster, better, and no hand fatigue especially if you have mild arthritis.

    1. Eh, that’s way messier to clean than two forks. I cook with a few pans and appliances as possible.

      1. +1. I’ll do anything to avoid dragging my mixer out of the depths of the pantry.

    2. OK, that makes sense, but I have never had a mixer and kind of loathe things that take up space, are used infrequently, and are tricky to clean. Forks (for me!).

    3. I’d much rather grab and wash two forks than pull out the mixer and clean it up after.

    6. OP her, I’m surprised, mostly because I just throw the beaters in the dishwasher like I would two forks. But my handheld is very conveniently located also.

    7. The stand mixer works great too, of course. If you’re into that kind of thing.

    9. Seems like the real question is: why don’t recipes just say “shred the meat” and let the cook decide what their best route is?

      1. To make it more accessible to a cooking novice! OP is experienced enough to swap a method, but plenty of people need a bit more instruction since they don’t have that much cooking experience.

    10. I just discovered using my stand mixer to shred meat and it is one of the best things I have learned this year. So much easier on the hands and so much faster than using forks. Before this, I actually avoided recipes that called for shredding meat because I hated the whole fork process. Honestly, forks never really worked well so I usually gave up on the forks and just burned my fingertips off trying to pull it apart by hand.

    11. Shredding with forks should be very easy and not involve any arm workout if it’s been cooked properly. I also prefer forks to pulling out the mixer.

Comments are closed.