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Frugal Friday’s Workwear Report: Crepe Volume-Sleeve Blouse

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A woman wearing a bright pink blouse, off-white pants, and a brown belt

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

I’ve picked up so many fantastic blouses at Banana Republic Factory, so I knew where to look when I was recently looking for one or two more long-sleeved work tops for this winter.

This blouse comes in eight colorways (six solids, two prints), but this cheery pink really caught my eye. Pair it with burgundy or deep purple trousers if you’re really committed to color, or stick with navy or gray if you want to tone it down a bit. 

The blouse is $35 at Banana Republic Factory — with 25% off at checkout — and comes in sizes XXS-XXL. 

Sales of note for 3/26/25:

  • Nordstrom – 15% off beauty (ends 3/30) + Nordy Club members earn 3X the points!
  • Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale + additional 20% off + 30% off your purchase
  • Banana Republic Factory – Friends & Family Event: 50% off purchase + extra 20% off
  • Eloquii – 50% off select styles + extra 50% off all sale
  • J.Crew – 30% off tops, tees, dresses, accessories, sale styles + warm-weather styles
  • J.Crew Factory – Shorts under $30 + extra 60% off clearance + up to 60% off everything
  • M.M.LaFleur – 25% off travel favorites + use code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – $64.50 spring cardigans + BOGO 50% off everything else

211 Comments

  1. Are there places you can order good solid wood bookcases from? I can put together a bit, but want something solid and sturdy for my dad, who left his when he moved to an apartment near me. Can be 6 feet tall or shorter is OK. Will be holding a lot of heavy books and warping has been a problem with recent purchases or the shelves are more for display vs books. Spendy is OK. Google was overwhelming.

    1. In my area, there are some Amish furniture stores that sell good quality furniture.

        1. +1 to this line. You’ll realize that it’s solid wood as soon as you pick up the boxes into your cart.

    4. If spendy is okay, you might have best luck getting a local carpenter or handyman to build one.

    5. We were happy with the quality of Pottery Barn’s bookcases – definitely holds up to heavy books!

      1. +1 I bought a bunch of local furniture store unfinished Amish style bookcases and had the store finish them for me (I now have a bookshelf lined room!) and I also have an older Pottery Barn bookshelf. I would say the quality of the two is similar.

        Both are miles better in quality than IKEA.

    8. Please remember to anchor the bookcase to the wall if it is more than a couple feet high.
      It’s common for elders to use sturdy-looking furniture to stabilise themselves in avoiding a fall or when standing up, and this causes accidents.

      1. +1 from earthquake country.

        But also, babies and toddlers are notorious for trying to climb a bookcase, sometimes with disastrous results. Anchor your tall bookcases!

        1. Talk to me like I am 5 — how do you anchor a bookcase, especially if there is floor molding and the bookcase isn’t flush with the wall. All I know is Molly bolts and that things need to go into a stud (and yet I am no good at finding studs). Current house has some built-ins but we are needing to add a bookcase or two.

          1. Webbing straps anchored into the back of the bookcase at the top with the other end anchored into a wall stud behind the bookcase.

          2. There are all sorts of kits you can buy. For tall bookcases where the top is above eye level we prefer the L-shaped brackets because they are much easier to install than the straps that can be hidden behind the bookcase. All types can be mounted to allow for baseboards. We attach only to studs, as many as possible given the width of the bookcase.

          3. Also interested. I simply don’t buy tall book cases for this reason, even though I’d like to.

          4. Get a stud finder. They’re fun and inexpensive.

            If you have a man in your life he will immediately “find” himself with it. This cannot be avoided.

          5. LOL! So true with the stud finder. My husband definitely did that years ago. Probably will still do it today.

          6. +1 to L brackets at the top – I find it easier and I have moulding that causes gaps too.
            Also, I had to get a stud finder because I cannot find studs at all. Cheap and effective! No idea why I didn’t just buy one earlier.
            For the brick walls at our place now, I had to learn to use the impact drill setting and get comfortable with installing plugs everywhere.

    9. I see these all the time at my local auction/estate sale site, they go for like $10-$100. The reason is because you have to hire a UHaul to go pick them up and then they’re a PITA to get up or down stairs. Just something to consider.

      You might want to look into reinforcing your existing bookshelves, or moving your heavier items lower.

    11. Facebook Marketplace is your best bet. Some are in great shape, just a good cleaning and a polish will freshen them up. You will have to move them, but there are apps for that, as well as Next Door.

  2. I’m about to go on my first international trip (Central Europe) in several years. Any products/gadgets you’ve bought or used recently that have made your travel experiences more enjoyable? I do not sleep well on airplanes, any advice?

    1. I never travel without my Anker battery pack. Mine is probably slightly smaller than a second phone, is in a cloth carrying case and I keep the cord wrapped around it. It means I never have to worry about taking too many photos or running my battery down using google maps or something

      1. This. I always have a portable battery on me. Just need to make sure it’s charged and you have the charging cord.

          2. Anker makes a good variety of sizes. Smaller ones the size of a deck of cards don’t bank as many full charges as larger ones but are fine if you just need a backup or one-time charge. You can always fill up back at the hotel each evening.

            I have one that fully charges my iPhone and iPad for four days straight. It’s about the size of two decks of cards end to end. I use it during power outages and when camping. A slightly smaller one would be fine for day use when traveling.

      2. I have this one; it has built-in charging cords for iPhone and Android devices. Flat and small. .

    2. I bought one of those as seen on TV foot slings and it does make a big difference in being able to sleep/keeping my legs from swelling.

    3. Noise canceling headphones. I bought some wireless, over the ear ones from Sony but they also come with a cord that I can use to plug into the airplane’s seat entertainment system.

      1. noise cancelling headphones are the biggest improvement for long haul flights. I have big over ear ones which I can’t sleep with, but the noise cancelling feature makes a big difference in how exhausting the flight is. I bring small earbuds to use for sleeping as well.

      2. And if you happen to have a pair that doesn’t have the wire and only works on bluetooth, you can get a little transponder gadget that plugs into the airplane entertainment jack and connects your headphones via bluetooth, so you can enjoy whatever entertainment the plane has with your own headphones. I got one on Amazon and it’s great.

    4. Compression socks (Bombas)
      Good eye mask – my faves are slightly molded like a bra to provide space for your eyes and lashes
      Soft earplugs + noise cancelling headphones
      A face mask – even if you’re not concerned about germs, they also block odors like the lingering scent of airplane food… or worse
      Leg sling (be considerate since it hangs off the seat in front of you)
      Taking the latest flight possible (like not the 4pm – you’ll be waking up for breakfast before you’re tired enough to sleep) and skipping the in-flight dinner in favor of sleep

      1. oh and I use the airline-provided pillow and blanket for lumbar support, and my own cashmere wrap for warmth.

    5. eSIM cards make life much easier now (I used to buy a local SIM card and switch). I’ve tried vairous plane pillows and have just decided I can’t sleep on planes, so no help there.

    6. I fly with my noise cancelling airpods (easier to sleep in than over the ear, in my opinion) and love my airfly adaptor. It allows you to watch inflight entertainment without a cord. If I’m in the aisle seat, I don’t have to unplug my cord if my neighbor needs to get out to use the bathroom.

    7. Bad plane sleeper here. I sleep best in a window seat so I have somewhere to lean against, as sleeping upright is impossible for me. I haven’t used one yet but have eyed those foot slings, as my legs cutting into the seat is uncomfy and would definitely improve things.

      1. As someone who can only sleep curled up in the fetal position, I too can never sleep on planes but occasionally can get comfortable in a window seat

        1. I can’t sleep on planes either. I’m always window because of that, and I can occasionally doze, but my neck gets sore and wakes me up. I’ve never found a neck pillow to actually help with that.

    8. PLITK. This comment was a request for long haul travel advice, and was, like 2 hours later, replaced with the content of a comment to the 8:51am thread.

    10. Download google translate — it’s wild to have a menu, washing machine dials, etc. translated in real time.

  3. Looking for either specific recommendations or a loose itinerary for one day in SF. We’ll be visiting family outside the city and planning to take the ferry in one day (so starting and ending at the Ferry Building). We have toddler twins and love good sandwich shops, nice neighborhoods, pretty vistas, playgrounds, libraries with nice play spaces, parks, etc. Coming from NYC so very willing to navigate public transit and can easily walk ~8-10 miles in a day (we’ll have a stroller). I’ve been to many of the key tourist classics but my husband would probably be interested in at least one token SF tourist item. Used to the realities of urban living but would like to avoid any truly unsafe areas and don’t know where those are. Thanks in advance for any recommendations!

    1. Go to the Presidio Tunnel Tops. It’s a relatively new park with views from bridge to bridge. There’s a cafe there and also usually food trucks. Very kid friendly. If you wanted to eat a nice meal there, Dalida is great. You can also easily walk over to Chestnut Street in the Marina from there to poke around and lots of good places to eat. New and popular is Little Original Joe’s. Poppy’s Oysterette is also great. The ferry won’t take you close to here though, I’d Uber to the tunnel tops as a starting point and Uber home.

      1. PS – our public transit is awful and takes forever. It’s not worth wasting time dealing with it. Go local and take Uber, Lyft or Waymo. You could also make a full day starting at the Ferry Building and then taking Uber out to the tunnel tops.

      2. Thanks! This looks great! Unfortunately we’re trying to avoid Ubers because we won’t have car seats with us. It looks like there’s a bus that would be really convenient to get there though, with no transfers. Any reason not to take that?

        1. The bus system is just terrible. I think Lyft or Uber might offer a car seat option, or honestly I’d just risk it for a day. That’s going to be safer than the bus.

      3. I think the transport system is reasonable for tourists who are not trying to be somewhere at a specific time.

        1. Strongly agree. Buses aren’t always convenient here, but they are for OP in this case (especially given that she has no deadline for being anywhere). There’s no reason not to take the bus.

          1. Uhhh they’re quite dangerous. I would t take my family on Muni. I’d much rather risk not having a car seat for a 15 minute ride than a mugging.

    2. PS – our public transit is awful and takes forever. It’s not worth wasting time dealing with it. Go local and take Uber, Lyft or Waymo. You could also make a full day starting at the Ferry Building and then taking Uber out to the tunnel tops.

    3. Here’s a couple of options provided high walking tolerance.

      Get off ferry and walk up to Coit tower and see the feral parrots. Then take the bus to golden gate park and go to the cal academy to see the rainforest and the japanese tea garden or run around in the fields.

      Get off the ferry and take the short hop to pier 41. Go to the musee mechanique (bring all the quarters). Have clam chowder at fisherman’s wharf (providing your tourist tolerance is higher than mine) Then walk along past the maritime museum to crissy field. Turn left and go get cannoli at Mara’s bakery in north beach.

      Get off the ferry and go to the exploratorium. Stay there for the rest of the day because it’s incredible.

      Get off the ferry and take the bus to the presidio/fort point and look up at the golden gate bridge. Be happy you’re not in that traffic.

      Get off the ferry and walk up market street to chinatown and windowshop. Go have lunch at the empress of china (provided toddlers can sit for a bit).

      1. +1 Exploratorium is fantastic for all ages and especially fun with toddlers. Add in lunch at the Ferry Building and you’ve got a great day in SF. Lunch at the Exploratorium is also good.

        I find transit in Bay Area to be pretty great for family adventures, as long as I’m flexible on where I’m going. Given that you only have a day, it’s pretty easy to use Google/Apple Maps to help decide where you’ll visit based on travel time. A Clipper Card makes transit a lot more convenient because you add value and then it works on all the ferries, buses, trains, etc without having to buy a ticket on each. There’s also a bit of a discount for using Clipper on most services.

        Dolores Park is fun on a warm day and has a great playground with beautiful city views and the playground is next to bathrooms. The neighborhood (the Mission) also has lots of great food. I’m partial to Las Tinajas for Nicaraguan food. There are also fancier places and you can probably find some really excellent Mexican food if that’s more your jam.

      2. Exploratorium is great for toddlers. Pricey but a perfect all day activity if you catch bad weather.

    4. Walking along the embarcadero to pier 39/Fisherman’s Wharf is a beautiful day.

      There’s a pier just to the south (the other direction from Pier 39) that is great to walk out to the end of, great for pictures too.

      1. In terms of public transit, the F line, which is repurposed old trolley cars, runs all along the Embarcadero and also up Market Street. It’s pretty fun to ride.

      2. There is a very cute pirate-themed park near the Embarcadero called the Sue Bierman park if you are in the area. My then-toddler daughter loved the Exploratorium. The area around City Hall has a lot of big green spaces.

        FWIW, I felt thoroughly safe taking public transportation (less weed smell than LA) during the day but there aren’t that many trains or buses.

        1. The area around city hall is the tenderloin and one of the most dangerous in the city. Do not go there.

    5. Thank you all! So much here to work with. I love the Exploratorium and we’d definitely be going there if it wasn’t closed when we’ll be in town (on a Monday). Looking forward to trying some of these other recommendations!

    6. Depending on how old your toddler twins are, maybe check out the Exploratorium (close to the Ferry Building). I took my kid when he was 2.75 and he loved it. But it’s a little bit more geared towards older kids. He found plenty of stuff to do and threw a real tantrum when we had to leave.

      1. Whoops, sorry, just saw your above comment about the Exploratorium being closed. If it’s a nice day I would say Tunnel Tops and Crissy Fields, but bring extra clothes because kids inevitably get wet and sandy at Tunnel Tops.

    7. I love how this thread turned into everyone talking about how great the exploratorium is.

    8. We did San Francisco last spring and out itineraries:
      Day One: take the bus out to the Sutro barhs. Explore the baths. Walk along the shore to Golden gate park. Stop at Andy town Roasters for coffee. Picked up sandwiches at the nearby safeway for lunch. Ate sandwiches at the windmill tulip garden, walked down to see the buffalo. Then home.
      Day two: Cal Academy of Sciences
      Day Three- cable car to just past Chinatown. Cable car museum. Walk back down to chinatown, wander chinatown (went to the fortune cookie museum, but not worth the time, IMO), lunch in Chinatown. Walk through North Beach to Penny Arcade (Musee Mechanique) walk back down Embarcadero, stopping to see the sea lions and eat ice cream.

  4. This is a weird shopping situation. I ordered a purse from a brand’s website and when it came in it was damaged. It was very hard to get ahold of them because they have no customer service phone number. They offered to send me a new bag if I shipped the old one back, which I did, but it was outside their normal process. I now see they have credited me for the returned bag, but have not billed me for the replacement. For any normal company with a phone number I would call and figure out a resolution, but they take 4-5 days to respond to each email which is infuriating. Complicating matters, in the time I waited for the replacement I decided I liked a cheaper option better and want to return the replacement (though I would keep it if it was free). Do I send the replacement purse back and hope they don’t credit me twice, compounding the issue? Do I message them and tell them to bill me for the replacement and hope they credit me correctly for returning it when it goes back? Or just say nothing and appreciate my good fortune? Obviously I will not order from them directly again and will instead buy their product from a retailer.

    1. This feels like a them problem, not a you problem. I’d cut my losses/accept the good fortune & not spend any more time or brain space on this.

      1. This was my first thought too, I’ve heard this a lot. OP, how long has it been? I would just keep it.

    3. Company messed up twice. You don’t need to go out of your way to fix their problem!

      Send a donation to flood relief or an abortion fund for karma and call it a day.

  5. PSA: freeze your credit on all three credit bureaus. Really and truly. If you haven’t done it, this is your reminder. It’s really, really easy. You can get all three done in under 30 mins. It’s incredibly easy and instantaneous to unfreeze when you need it again. Freeze your children’s credit, too, while you’re at it.

    I’ve just had yet another notice come in the mail from a credit card provider (this time Wells Fargo, which I’ve never had a relationship with) that a card was attempted opened in my name, and oddly enough my maiden name which I’ve not had for over 10 years. The letter is asking me to unfreeze my credit so they can complete processing the credit card application.

    That is all. Carry on and enjoy the day!

    1. Related note: if your minor child does not have a credit history, the bureau may require you to send in a letter requesting them to create a file and then freeze it. Otherwise there is nothing to freeze.

      1. oh!! this is good to know. i had no idea. although i actually did open a credit card for my oldest son on my business line because I could limit it to $500.

    2. I froze all mine as well after getting an email from one of those identity monitoring companies that my information was found on the dark web.

    3. +1

      And then set up a filter to keep all the Experian spam out of your inbox good lord.

        1. FWIW, unsubscribe does actually work. I have freezes at all 3 and zero communications from any of them.

      2. I’m actually not doing a credit freeze since Experian spammed me so badly the time I got a copy of my credit report. They ignored all requests to unsubscribe and kept emailing me from various addresses. It was brutal. Every day, multiple emails designed to incite panic!! I gave them my “real” email because I thought it was trustworthy … nope. They’re scammers.

      1. Go to each credit bureau’s web s i te and search for credit freeze. I did it a while ago but I remember it being fairly intuitive. You have to sign up for an account at each IIRC but it’s quick.

        Transwestern, Equifax and Experian are the three bureaus.

    5. When we refinanced our mortgage in 2021 that was the first time our credit hadn’t been frozen in years — and we immediately got a flood of credit card offers and everything else. It was crazy!! When we actually did want to open up a new credit card earlier this year for points, I was pleased that there was an “unfreeze for 30 days” option pretty much everywhere.

  6. Shopping help: looking for a birthday present for my super extra office manager. She’s in her late 50s and loves all things bling – think bedazzled, glitter, the louder the better, big hair don’t care. Pink, purple, and rose gold are her colors. She’s decorated her cube like it’s her home with tons of knick-knacks and heavily decorates for every seasonal holiday and is recently married. Loves Ted Lasso, the Astros, her dog, 80s hair rock and takes really amazing care of me and the rest of the team, so I want her to feel appreciated. Budget is $50-100 and have some fun with it!

    3. Would she like one of the more extra Stanley cups? Especially with all the accessories you can get to decorate it?

    4. I’m assuming your are in Houston. Go to Berrings or Kuhl Lipscome to buy her a present. It’s holiday shopping card time (20% off everything once you buy the card) so there will be tons of Astros and bedazzled things in the store for holiday presents. There might even be some 80s band glass ornaments this year.

      1. Ooh, thank you, I’ve never even been to Berrings and haven’t been to KL in years. I’m so used to online shopping at this point…

  7. I commented a few weeks back that I didn’t want to go home for Thanksgiving and was planning to travel somewhere else instead. Well, I just booked a trip to Iceland! I’m going with a tour, so I don’t have to plan anything myself other than figuring out what to pack and showing up. I got about 10 seconds of guilt trip from my parents, which quickly morphed into them being excited for me because they’ve heard so many great things about Iceland.

    The one thing I’m not 100% sure about what to wear is pants. They recommend a warm layer under a dry layer, and I will be getting some rain pants (I already have a rain jacket and suitable hiking boots). But what do I wear for my warm layer? They don’t recommend jeans for the excursions because they get so heavy if they do get wet and take forever to dry, and I don’t think they would be that comfortable anyway under the rain pants. Options I already have: exercise leggings, hiking pants (definitely summer weight), and slim fitting sweatpants. I could see layering the exercise leggings or sweatpants under the hiking pants (and then under the rain pants), or just the sweatpants or leggings on their own under the rain pants. These options should be warm enough, right? Is there another option I should be considering? It looks like typical temperatures will be in the 30s during the trip, but of course those are just averages. I think we’ll be doing a lot of getting on and off a heated bus so I don’t think I need a solution that’s going to hold up for like 6 hours at a time, but I expect a couple 2-3 hour stretches. I’m all set for tops: plenty of warm shirts, plus a thin puffer that fits under the rain jacket. I need to get some new gloves but have several hats and scarves as well.

    1. I love Athleta’s cold-weather exercise leggings – the Altitude are what I use for sub-30s weather and the Rainier for 30s and 40s.

    2. I went to Iceland during the same week (10 years ago – yikes!), and I remember wearing fleece lined leggings quite a bit. I think the regular leggings under the sweatpants or hiking pants would be fine. We were coming from NYC and did not find the temperatures crazy cold. It was windy though!

    3. Exciting! I love Iceland. It tends to be extremely windy, so the temperature in the forecast can be deceiving. I’d recommend thermal/fleece-lined leggings but otherwise I think your plan sounds good. You can also double up on leggings under the rain pants.

    4. I think leggings or sweats would be plenty warm enough under rain pants. I think triple layers would be too warm and uncomfortably bulky. I went to Iceland in December a few years ago and that’s what i wore. Don’t forget warm socks!

    5. Buy yourself a set of Smartwool or REI brand 250 merino longjohns. They’re comfortable and durable. If you’re sensitive to wool, Patagonia Capilene midweight is really good, too.
      You’ll get your money’s worth out of either.

      1. If you need items that you can wear without the rain pants, I’d do underarmour cold gear. The fleece lined LLL leggings will work fine if you aren’t being active. If you are active, they are SUPER warm and it needs to be at least -10C.

        1. If you run cold, fleece leggings are what you need. I wear mine from Athleta in NC more for damp than cold but they are my go-to for camping and anything outdoor u less I’m running. Otherwise, I don’t move enough to keep warm.

    6. Congrats on the decision and the trip! Iceland was one of the best vacations I’ve taken — the food was so good and the scenery and people were amazing. With regard to pants, I took a thin capilene layer (silk or similar material would be good too), yoga leggings, and thin hiking style pants (like https://www.titlenine.com/p/prana-hiking-pants-evergreen/215249.html) to layer under my rain pants and to be worn on their own (other than the base layer). I was able to mix and match and hand wash as needed. Sweats could work but I’d be wary of bulk. Remember to pack a few pairs of good socks too.

    8. If it’s in the 30’s, your regular leggings or slim sweatpants are fine. Maybe fleece lined legging if you run very cold. You’ll only wear the rain pants over them when necessary, so you want something tight so it’s easy to slip them on over top. Presumably you’re wearing waterproof layers for hiking on a glacier or something similar. Once you start moving around you’ll get hot and sweaty if you wear too much.

    9. The search term you need is “long underwear”. Take a look at whatever REI or similar stores sell. It’s what people typically wear under ski/snowboard pants, which are usually both a warm and dry layer. In your case you likely dont need the extra insulation of ski pants, but the warm long underwear layer + rain pants should be fine.

      1. Long underwear may not be a great standalone look if she doesn’t want to have to wear rain pants all day.

        1. You wear them under regular pants. They are underwear. I live where it’s regularly -20F for long stretches and Merino long underwear under flannel jeans is practically my uniform (with a parka and an additional layer on bottom when doing stuff outdoors).

    10. Agree that fleece lined leggings for extra cold times (will you be outside at night?) and then for a very slim profile but warm under layer I like the Uniqlo heattech line.

    11. When I went to Iceland, I sometimes wore Heattech leggings under sweatpants, but my best purchase was some fleece lined snow pants I got for like $50 on Amazon. They were amazing, and weren’t too bulky.

      Have an amazing time!

      1. Meant to add that the wind is what gets you, so you want clothing thats going to protect you from the wind with a warmer layer underneath. It gets so windy that they tell you if you’re renting a car to park into the wind, otherwise it can rip an open door off its hinges. (It wasn’t so bad for us, but definitely noticeable.)

    12. You want warmth and water is a possibility, which means not cotton- so fleece sweatpants >> cotton poly leggings.

    13. I recently bought the 32 degrees brand base layer from Costco (very inexpensive, $15 for two pairs) and wore them under a pair of LL Bean hiking pants for some mountain hiking in southwest Colorado where it was around freezing temps – and felt very toasty the whole time.

    14. I went to Iceland in December from NY and similarly to another poster didn’t find it too cold. I think leggings or sweatpants under rain pants should work.

    15. I remember your post and I’m really glad the parental guilt trip didn’t materialize in the way you were worried about! Your parents sound cool, actually. Happy for you!!

      1. Haha they are absolutely not cool at all, hence my desire not to go home for Thanksgiving.

        1. I don’t know how to square that with 10 seconds of guilt trip then being excited for you.

          1. If it had been pretty much anything other than a destination that everybody on earth who has ever been absolutely raves about, there would have been a lot more guilt trip. Trust me, there are so, so many ways they are not cool. In the week I would be home there would be at minimum 5-6 big blowup yelling matches between them, a dozen petty minor blowups, one of them (or both) would be extremely patronizing to my uncle at the dinner table, I would get yelled at for something completely not worth being 1% upset over in any normal household, I would be the recipient of some nonsense diatribe(s) about how my brother is parenting his kids wrong (gentle parenting being the exact opposite of how we were raised; also toddlers gonna toddler and they are completely out of touch with what is normal for kids that age), there would be additional mean spirited complaining about multiple other family members, and probably 3-4 additional “why the heck are my parents like this” moments that I can’t even imagine yet because every time it’s something different. They make each other miserable and everyone else around them by extension. Is that uncool enough?

    16. Norwegian here:

      You need a wind and water proof outer layer. Waterproof hiking boots are great. Altra are light and comfortable.

      I would wear wool long johns as my inside layer, and wool hiking socks like Icebreaker or Smartwool. Same for upper body, but add a second layer between jacket and wool. Layers are key.

      If you can’t wear wool, get silk or fleece lined.

      If you don’t feel comfortable wearing just the long johns for breaks, you can pop a skirt or shawl over, but I wouldn’t worry about it!

      Get a merino buff snood thing, as well as a hat. Bicycle shops or hardware stores have great gloves for cold weather that are warm and waterproof. Bring sun glasses if there’s snow.

      If you get UTIs easily, get some wool&silk thigh length, high-waisted underwear. So comfy in the cold.

    17. Ps you need to add wind chill to the temperature.

      Bring a bathing suit for hot springs.

    18. In the outdoors sections, how active will you be? I do a lot of winter hiking and I prefer no base layer/no insulation at all down to ~25 degrees, and then I add wool tights — way less clothing than would be comfortable stationary. The reason is that sweat is your biggest real enemy to warmth – I am pretty warm if I’m moving and working hard, but the minute you stop and are wet, you will be cold cold cold.

  8. Tips for IUD insertion? I’ve had one before, but haven’t had a new one inserted in ten years (copper), and am getting a new one this afternoon. Will be taking advil beforehand, but could use some success stories or tips, if anyone has them!

    1. I had mine done this year (took advil ahead of time) and it was pretty painful. They brought me some cold apple juice afterwards and it was surprisingly comforting! Most of the pain subsided within about 30 minutes; the rest was gone within a couple hours.

    2. Call ahead and request lidocaine. I had to shop around to get this but it made a huge difference for me.

      My anatomy is oddly shaped and inserting anything is painful for me. I was terrified of insertion. I found planned parenthood was the only place to offer any pain management. They were lovely and the process and recovery was seamless and pain free.

    4. I’d ask for a dose of Toradol – it’s a heavy-duty NSAID that I was given after my c-section instead of a narcotic and it was incredible.

    5. Not what you asked but an interesting aside I just found out about. Study just came out in JAMA. Progestin IUD has a slight increase in breast ca risk. Comparable to breast ca risk with OCP.

      1. I read the NYT article and not the study itself, but the takeaway I had was that the increased risk is tiny and the benefits outweigh for all except those with risk factors. Thoughts?

    6. Don’t laugh but: eat a cupcake or other sugary, calorific treat beforehand. My blood sugar plummets so I actually was in much better shape and did not faint this time around due to the sugar. I also forgot to take any painkillers whatsoever, so it really was just the cupcake in my system.

    7. What was your experience before? I had an iud and felt barely a pinch but know I’m probably not the norm- but you have a history to give you an indication of what to expect!

    1. I would love to see some good ideas for hybrid teams. Last year we got the privilege of listening to big boss talk for an hour over lunch while we sat in an undecorated conference room, with our remote colleagues watching on video. Bah humbug.

      1. Remote/virtual parties are so hard. This year we’re sending gift cards, but I want to try to plan something more. But we don’t want 100 people on a zoom just looking at each other. For our in-office celebration we’re doing a cocktail party/dinner that seems to be turning into a nice event (if I do say so myself ;) ).

  10. I need a way to track to dos. Right now I have to dos in four categories: work, my elderly mom, our house renovation, and me. I don’t need it to integrate to a calendar, I don’t need due dates, I just need a place to write things down so they don’t get forgotten. Right now I’m just using an outline (roman numeral I for work, II for mom, etc) in a plain Google Doc, but it gets unwieldy as I add items and delete items and it’s just not the greatest. Thoughts?

    1. If you have an iphone, I’m a big fan of the reminders app. Especially the ability to say “Hey Siri, remind me on Tuesday to put the garbage out.” You can get really fancy with it and say things like “Remind me when I get home to change the laundry” or “Remind me when I leave here to get the leftovers out of the fridge.” Clearly, I’m a very forgetful person, and the reminders app is basically my external brain.

    2. As a former queen of post its…I now use my iphone and make the lists in there…..currently have 10 different ones, some are shared too!

    4. I keep all this and other lists in the Google Keep app on my phone. Checking off the little boxes is so satisfying, and it can retain your completed tasks which I find surprisingly useful.

    5. I use Notion, I’ve got a DIY monthly template organised by different categories – for work, it’s writing, collaborative projects, admin/teaching, personal, home, and habits. I tend to print it off, and then print a tidied up version mid-Month.

    6. Workflowy is perfect if you’re already using an outline.

      I use qlist.cc for one-offs (like a grocery list)

    8. Also another point for the Apple reminders app. You can have a bunch of different lists, but also within the list have it tagged with certain things, so you can bring up just those tasks or you can form sections within the list.

    9. i like to use separate physical notebooks for this — barring that, iPhone notes, with a separate note for each task. (and you can share that with others too).

  11. Are the Madewell Harlow pants a winter weight? If not, is there a similar pant in a winter weight? I cant tell from the website.

    1. What material? Harlow is the cut and they have them in several different materials during the year – linen, denim, wool etc.

        2. The Harlow Superwide-Leg Trouser is in a wool blend that’s probably better for winter, and the camel color is gorgeous!

  12. Hoping you ladies can point me in the right direction.

    DH and I are happily married. I grew up with a level of family wealth that meant things like college and down payments were paid for, but not so significant that I never had to work. My parents gifted me money to build a house on a dream lot that DH and I purchased together with a combination of our savings. I could not have afforded the lot without his contributions and we could not have built the house without the gift from my parents. We generally have commingled finances and I want this to feel like his home too (obviously).

    BUT I want to protect myself and my kids in case something goes terribly wrong. Is there a way to somehow carve out my contribution to our joint asset? Like somehow say that in the event of divorce or death I basically get my capital returned to me first and then we split the remainder? I just saw a friend lose her spouse and remarry and her new husband is taking control of the finances in a way that makes me a little nervous for her kids with her previous spouse.

    In the crazy event that I die and DH remarried, I want my gift from my parents trickling down to my kids, not to DHs eventual new spouse.

    Is this accomplished in a post nup? An LLC agreement that then owns the house? A regular contract? What type of professional am I reaching out to for help?

    1. Estate lawyer. They will walk you through the various ways you can memorialize this in a will, trust, and/or nuptial agreement (which is a contract). Rich people might have tricks for creating an LLC agreement for the house, but I have never heard of that!

    2. Death is easiest. Frame it in terms of if either of you pass, you want to make sure that the gift is passed to your daughter (if you are ok with losing that control if he goes first, say he can protect her from your thirty-something boytoy if he passes first). Estate lawyer can talk about that. The divorce scenario will likely either be handled in an accounting exercise if you were to divorce depending on the state, or you will need to have the actual conversation of “I want a post nup.” But, really, the estate lawyer is your starting point on the discussion as for estate reasons, there could be a “reason” that a postnup makes sense.

    3. Work with an estate planner. They can walk you through what is community property and what isn’t, and how to spell that out in a Trust. And how to make sure second spouses don’t get the first spouse’s assets.

    4. Choice of spouse. Followed by estate planning. And presuming you chose well, discuss desires with spouse.

    5. Post nups are not enforceable in some jurisdictions. Do research before an attorney takes your money to complete one. For your children, set up trusts and consider term life insurance that names them as the beneficiary (if children are minors, you’ll need to do some work to ensure it goes to them). The commingling of your current assets is done. If you inherit any more, do not commingle and consult with attorney.

    6. I am of the firm belief that everyone with kids should have an estate plan that ensures that the bulk of a parent’s assets should get passed to the children (via trust) in the event of death.

      Let’s quickly run through the various reasons. Widowed spouse’s subsequent spouse could be a spendthrift. Widowed spouse’s new spouse could spend it all on his/her kids. Sure, it might be earmarked for your kids, but good luck enforcing that when all the earmarked money has been spent.

      Widowed spouse and spouse #2 could divorce. Yes, it’s a premarital asset, but theories don’t always play out that way, and enforcing rights can be very expensive.

      People get WEIRD about money. Let’s say the widowed spouse remarries and there are kids from that union. (Let’s just say that it’s you who dies and your H who remarries.) New wife might be quite upset that there’s all this money for your kids to go to a private college but not money for her kids to go. That’s not FAIR! Everyone should be equal. Now, never mind that one set of kids have a *mother who is dead* and the other does not, so things most definitely are not equal. It’s not FAIR. Let’s take that money that should have gone to two kids and divide it four ways. That’s EQUAL.

      That’s also an enormous burden on the husband. Does he want to go to war with his current, living wife and the mother of some of his children?

      Or, this nice document drawn up by an attorney means that she can’t get her paws on your kid’s money.

    7. I worry about this all the time. If I go first, what if my husband is so lonely that he marries some woman with kids of her own and then everything I have worked my ass off for (which is like 80% of our joint assets) goes to her and her kids? Who are already “her deadbeat kids” in my mind.

      I don’t think my husband in his current state of mind /mental health status would ever fall into something like this, but I’ve seen men do very weird things as they age. And I’ve also seen men (in my extended family) who are slipping mentally get taken advantage of….

      1. To your last paragraph, predators and grifters don’t always come with a warning label.

        1. Also, as you age, the mental capacity to marry is shockingly low (vs what would trigger a springing POA or get you into memory care). There are horror stories about people marrying someone who is in no shape to consent and then they control everything.

        1. I have a life shortening medical condition so yes, I do worry about it, because chances are good that I will go first.

        2. One of the many reasons to hire lawyers is that they are literally paid to think about scenarios like this, that you never would have anticipated until it’s too late.

    8. Very similar situation here. You need an estate lawyer! Ask your coworkers for recommendations. A few other thoughts below.

      Do you have a prenup? What does it say? Your situation is messier than ours in that the funds have already been comingled, so I would expect to not be able to treat it as separate property in the future. We specifically do not use individually owned funds for the joint expenditures.

      Our estate lawyer set up multiple trusts (some for our marital assets and some for individuals). Unfortunately in our case there is still a workaround if one party was widowed they could overwrite how our marital assets are used and change the inheritance patterns from there. This is particularly bothersome around 529s which have been financed by one set of grandparents and parents, and are intended for our specific children and not step children or those from future marriages, since beneficiaries can be super easily changed on these. Our lawyer warned that the more we tried to restrict things from being adjusted in the future in a subsequent marriage, the more likely we would accidentally handcuff ourselves in an unanticipated way. We had a LOT of conversations about using a prenup for any future marriages and what we thought was reasonable vs. not in how finances could be shared with a future spouse vs. our kids. Honestly there’s nothing super binding so hopefully we just continue to be thoughtful and respectful partners and aligned in our expectations of how that money is used.

      We are very affluent, but one branch of the family is rich rich. If you are at that level, you would be working with an integrated team of lawyers, accountants, and wealth managers. They will move assets to different ownership structures and set up different trusts and fairly sophisticated tax maneuvers. In that case you’d probably be changing the titling of your house to be in just one person’s name but would be counterbalancing it with other assets tied to the other person’s name. This is probably closer to your dream solution but likely just isn’t going to be reasonable to pursue unless you’ve got mid-to-high eight figure net worth.

    9. Just beware. Will can leave everything to one person but in the last months of life another person can be made beneficiary of investment accounts and then that money never gets to the estate. So you get nothing.

    10. This is going to be jurisdiction specific. In my state, you would need a postnup and adequate estate planning.

    11. Start with an estate lawyer, but I think you want a trust for the kids. My parents just did this to ensure that my kids (their grandkids’) college gifts will be protected from a potential future spouse if one of them remarries after the death of the other one.

  13. Requesting help to snap out of a crush.

    A few weeks ago, I had happy hour with a client’s employee. I’ve worked with this company for 7-8 years. He is a lawyer/CPA, switched from GC to CFO. I haven’t talked to him since the pandemic, as I never work with accounting, just legal. We recently ran into one another at a bookstore and grabbed a drink on a patio next door. We had a nice, casual conversation. Came up that we both got divorced 2-3 years ago, mostly talked about work people in common. He told me he would update me about the book he was reading when he finished it. The last couple weeks, I have caught myself daydreaming about another conversation or a meal with him. I find myself obsessively checking my phone and email like I’m in my 20s, in case he’s actually sent me an update about the book (he hasn’t- and maybe won’t!).

    But. I don’t want to get involved with someone who works for a client. Looking to chill this weird schoolgirl part of my brain and also if he does reach out, not sure whether to go out again, bring other people from our firm/company, I’m overthinking! Tips?

    1. Girl, this is how people meet in real life. If you block yourself from dating anyone at a client you’re cutting yourself off from way too many people. He’s in a role you don’t interact with. Text him and see how the book was! Don’t let a made up remote conflict get in the way of living your life.

      1. I don’t see the problem either, but if he hasn’t contacted her at all for 2-3 weeks after grabbing a drink, I don’t think he’s interested. That’s the #1 reason to get over the crush. Sorry, OP.

        1. It’s hard. Some guys are equally nervous about reaching out and dating. I’d think about his general persona (although you assume a GC/CFO type might not be a shrinking violet). If he generally seems reserved, maybe he does get nervous about dating. If he’s very confident and forward, then I agree, he might not be interested.

          1. If he’s a CLO and she’s an senior associate, he might feel like there is a power imbalance.

        2. Men are just as nervous as women if not more so about all the perceived conflicts. I would at least text and not view it as a “rules” situation.

      3. Agreed! It’s possible he hasn’t reached out because he’s not interested, but it’s possible he also got nervous about the work connection. I don’t see anything wrong with messaging him about the book, and seeing where it goes.

    3. +1 why get over it? Sounds fun and if he continues to not text you, you’ll probably get over it on your own because of feeling rejected.
      For now I just think he’s a slow reader 😂

    4. Keep in touch! Text him about a similar book you like. Meet up for lunch or drinks. Maybe you develop a positive platonic relationship with a C-suite executive (good) or maybe you start dating (also good). No negatives here.

    5. For everyone who was so omg shocked Pikachu about the dr’s office social media DM hypo, there are also ethical concerns with attorneys dating clients, so I get why the OP here doesn’t want to mess around with the rules (OP – look up your state’s specifically) and if it’s a major client, if things go wrong, that’s real job consequences.

  14. I have a Pap smear today, wish me luck! Fun fun fun.

    Please tell me to grow up or maybe sympathize with me here – I’ve had my primary care physician for 3 years now and I really like her. The majority of my visits with her have been talking about other issues that don’t involve me getting undressed. I have a friendly, chatty relationship with her and we have talked about all kinds of non medical stuff at my visits. I think I would be friends with her if she weren’t my doctor.

    So today feels like “So, anyway, friend, here’s my vag.”

    2. My doctor is very good friends with one of my close friends, so we have that kind of relationship too, like we’ve socialized at baby showers and the whole time I’m thinking “She’s seen my vag.” It’s really not a big deal but it is funny.

    4. Really no big deal from the pcp perspective. Just a body part like any other! She does it all the time and won’t remember anything about you.

      Think about it, your PCP probably sees one of her colleagues for this stuff. Maybe in another office but still someone she runs into professionally.

    5. My ex-MIL was friends (socially) with her gynecologist, but whenever mentioning him (yes, him), she would start the sentence with “my gynecologist says…” It was so awkward because you would always imagine this conversation happening while she’s in stirrups, even though it more likely happened at a dinner party.

    6. I get where you’re coming from, but I’ll bet it’s not remarkable to her. I grew up in a small town so long ago that babies were delivered by your regular doctor, so I was delivered by my parents usual doctor. He was also the husband in a couple that my parents were friends with. There was another couple in that particular friend group, and he delivers their children too. I always wondered how that was not weird.

  15. Asking for a sibling (who asked me to suggest resources): books and podcasts about overcoming non-substance addiction? Think gambling, gaming, screens, that sort of thing. Looking for resources that are actually focused on correcting the issue, not summaries of the current research on addiction. Thank you!

    1. I don’t have books or podcasts, but I have been seeing some buzz about the GLP-1 meds helping people (maybe not surprisingly since old meds like Contrave also helped with non-substance related addictive behaviors).

      1. Thank you. I had suggested professional help (medical or therapy), and the sibling thinks “they can overcome it if they just know what steps to take.” They do acknowledge they have a problem and that it is an addiction (not just a habit), but they’re still at the point where they think the right resource will help them. I want to remain a trusted voice so would like to respect that framing for now…but this is helpful for me to know in case they do want to explore medical options down the line.

        1. I honestly think there is something to be said for reading the same books that inform therapy in the first place; it at least helps provide some framework for making sure therapy is helpful if we pursue it. I just don’t happen to know the books and resources on this particular topic! NAMI may be a place to start (they also support people in your position as family).

        2. lol the steps to take are:
          1) Go See A Therapist.

          Wanting a how-to book sounds an awful lot like trying to avoid having to face the addiction or not thinking its a big deal, or wanting a way to address the resource with no accountability.

    2. He should attend a 12 step meeting for that addiction (Gamblers Anonymous etc.). Either it will be for him, or it will not, but regardless it’s a good solid first step.

      1. They are not interested in 12 step programs or professional interventions at this point, as I noted above, but I appreciate the recommendation.

    3. There is a 12 step program for internet addiction. I have attended meetings as I am prone to long expeditions into on line news and rabbit holes and research. It has been helpful, if that is the issue.

      1. Thank you! They might be open to this down the line (internet addiction is definitely one component of what’s going on). Is there a website or formal name for the program?

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