Coffee Break: Boucle Swing Coat

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1. Is anyone familiar with the watch brand Abingdon? Any impressions or experiences would be welcome.

   Background: I used to wear a quartz Tag Heuer Aquaracer that was forever giving me trouble. It had to be shipped back to the factory twice for repairs, and then the paint on the numbers on the bezel started to peel off. I switched to an Apple Watch for several years but would like to have a real watch option again. I am petite and like the tough-girl look of a larger dive watch on a small wrist. I am in love with the 39.5 mm Omega Seamaster Planet Ocean, but there is no way on earth that a $7,000 watch is in our budget. The Abingdon Marina has a similar oversized sporty look for under $1,000, which would be more doable. I like the fact that the brand was created for women, by a woman. I am also guessing that because it’s automatic the movement will have fewer issues, but I could be wrong there. What I can’t tell is whether it will come across as a cheap flashy knockoff or as a cool alternative to the more expensive “real” watch brands. No one in my social circles will know or care, but at work I rub elbows with too many people who wear Rolexes. I could just stick with the Apple Watch because it doesn’t give off the same in-the-know-or-not signals, but sometimes I feel silly wearing a screen on my wrist.

   1. I would look on Youtube for videos on the best inexpensive dive watches – Seiko might have something in your budget and their quality is exceptional. The other suggestion would be an Oris Aquis date. It retails for $2.5k but you could probably get it around $1k on the gray market. What makes that watch cool is that they use recycled ocean plastic in the dial, so no two are alike.

   2. Vaer makes some dive watches (solar and automatic models) that you might like and they are very affordable. I have one of their solars and have beat the crap out of it; it has stood up very well. Longines Hydroconquest or Legend Diver could be options though they are $3-$3.5k. The watches subreddit is a good resource though there are definitely some fan favorites there that are not necessarily worth the hype. Seikos aren’t my particular jam but agreed with Veronica Mars on their quality.

   3. I also like “real” but not extravagant dive watches. I have a Vaer, a Baltic Aquascaphe, and a Squale. Last two I bought used for under $500 on eBay. Happy with my choices. Let us know what you find!

2. I have recently gotten back into running and have been pleased with my breathing and endurance. I’m now running longer distances than I have before (nothing huge, but im past the couch to 5k stage) and my joints are little painful, particularly my left hip. I have pretty good, recent shoes and always stretch afterwards. Any tips on what could help?

   1. Adding activation to your warm up and doing PT-like exercises specific to running.

   2. Theragun and slowing down both your pace and the pace you’re increasing mileage. You should be doing cutback weeks every 3-4 weeks if you aren’t already.

   3. Supplementing running with lifting and mobility work

   4. Also get hip pain with running and lower back stretches tend to help me more than most hip stretches for short term pain relief – but long term I needed hip & glute strengthening exercises

   5. If you can, get a gait analysis done.

      I recommend “Running Rewired” to all runners. The tests and exercises are great for preventing injuries.

3. My dad’s birthday is next week and then obviously Christmas is right around the corner. I always struggle with what to get him – truly a man that doesn’t need anything. Early 60s, still working but retiring in the next few years, lives in the Mid Atlantic. Is active and has many hobbies, but I haven’t been able to get him anything for his hobbies that has been a home run. Has made it clear he does not need or want any clothes or shoes.

   Hobbies include golf, bowling, going to the beach, and watching sports. He likes to read, but usually only ends up reading on the beach. He loves cooking, but doesn’t use recipes (so no cookbooks) and doesn’t seem to have any interest in any of the fun kitchen gadgets I’ve gotten him (they all get passed down to me, not that I’m complaining). Doesn’t drink coffee or liquor, he likes beer but likes what he likes so wouldn’t enjoy a cool 6 pack. He’s well set on golf and bowling gear, he already has season or partial season tickets to our local pro and college teams that he cares about and is set with shirts and hats for those teams and his alma mater. He and my mom have a beach condo and that’s fully furnished / they have the beach games and chairs that they like. They don’t usually travel beyond going to the condo. He’s not outdoorsy, other than enjoying the beach and golf. He and my mom have a very tight group of friends with a very, very busy social life.

   I live 30 mins away, so I see them almost weekly (and I practically live with them at the beach in the summer lol) so quality time together isn’t really a gift.

   Really, the only thing I can think that he really wants is grandkids and I’m not yet prepared to give him that!

   1. Experience gifts. Concert tickets, box seats for the team he has partial season tickets for, lessons with a golf pro.

      1. We did a concert for Father’s Day so trying to switch it up a bit. Box seats require connections and knowing people that I don’t know and $$$ and he already does lessons with his club’s pro.

   2. My dad who has everything he could ever want always appreciates a box of cheese from igourmet dot com. A photo book is another option.

   3. I would lean into consumables here. Fancy spices (Burlap & Barrel or Penzey’s), a sandwich kit from Zingerman’s, a breakfast basket from Stonewall Kitchen, something like that. My dad really enjoyed those indulgent meal kits as he got older and had acquired all of the things he really needed/wanted. If you go with spices, you might pick some that he already uses, but a better version, and something more exotic to try in a gift pack.

      1. +1 to this. It sounds like you spend enough time with him to know what he likes to cook and eat, so get him nice versions of those things.

      2. My dad is someone who so loves to eat and cook but is also so not a “foodie”, if you will. I’ve tried some of this stuff and it’s totally lost on him. And, he’s very much a meat and potatoes guy so this stuff almost always ends up being too exotic for him

         1. I don’t think you need to go fancy then. Just get him the stuff he already likes. Buy him his favorite beer, his favorite condiments, his favorite cookies, whatever it is he likes.

            1. I just don’t think showing up with a case of Miller Lite or a sleeve of Fudge Stripe cookies counts as a gift :)

            2. tbh a box of his fave things sounds like of awesome. Beer, chips, cookies, steak sauce, have at it!

            3. It does for someone who doesn’t need anything! And it’s way better than giving him useless crap he doesn’t need or he doesn’t like. A good gift should show that you actually understand what someone likes, not that you think they should have better taste. And, honestly, I’d be way happier with a pack of Fudge Stripe cookies than most of the other things people mention.

            4. This is where I’ve landed with my dad. “Fancy” stuff does not interest him. Jelly beans, mixed nuts, and mini Snickers bars do.

         2. Omaha Steaks.

   4. a gift to a scholarship at the school of his favorite sports team
      fancy koozie for his beer at the beach
      yeti tote cooler
      penzeys grill spices
      fresh towels for the beach and kitchen

   5. Ha! My similar dad’s best gift from me was pricey steaks. Grass fed american kobe -maybe waygu?- tomahawk style shipped from snake river farms. He called me up and just said “they’re beautiful.” Your dad doesn’t need golf gear but I bet he could use a box of pro v 1 golf balls, every golfer does. Does he have a great umbrella? Like the kind a gentleman carries? My husband has a Filson and it’s sturdy and handsome.

      1. I was also going to suggest steaks, assuming he eats meat.

      2. Another idea: classic ll bean boat and tote with something fun like “schlep” embroidered on it? Yeti cooler?

   6. What about a cooking class for you to do together with him since he enjoys cooking?

   7. Does he have a good lightweight puffer vest? Sounds like a guy who could really use one.

      1. This is a possibility, thanks!

   8. Donation in his name to a cause he’d care about?
      My dad enjoyed a few of those “science of cooking” type books (like the Food Lab or Salt Acid Fire Heat – they are more explanations of /why/ a technique works and less recipes)
      Or consumable food gifts are classics for a reason – maybe something that would be a fun tasting party for their friends?

      1. We already to a donation as part of our Christmas gifts as a family!

   9. Im not opposed to a consumable, but I have yet to come across one that I think he’d like. As I said in a response, he’s very much not a foodie and is a meat and potatoes kinda guy. He has no clue (and doesn’t care to) about food trends or brands so for example, anything on gold belly would be a waste.

      Budget for a birthday gift is probably in the $50 range

      1. +1

         Just take him out to lunch, just you – no Mom – at his favorite restaurant. Give him a thoughtful handwritten card, where you recount a favorite memory, lesson you learned from him, anecdote or a cute list of “favorite Dad things”.

   10. A nice dinner out to a restaurant he’d love! Time with you is probably the best gift you can give…

   11. My husband and I are about the same age as your dad, and similarly hard to buy for. Does your dad like fruit? My husband loves grapefruit, so fancy grapefruit from Pittman and Davis would be good. Or pears from Harry and David. Or the big canister of cashews from Koeze – they’re expensive, and shipping is expensive, but they’re ridiculously good.

       1. I think if I did this one of two things would happen: no one would recognize that they’re not Costco nuts/fruits so it would look like I just swung by the store on my way over and grabbed whatever. Or, if I mention that I ordered them or they’re somehow special I’d get yelled at for spending that much on fruit/nuts and don’t you know you can get those at Aldi

          My family is very unassuming, blue collar, and not trendy

   12. Ha I feel your pain! Whenever I see gift guides for parents I wonder who they’re written for because my parents have never heard of any of the brands or half of the products featured in those and they’d think they’re all a colossal waste of money. I know if I got my parents something splurgey they’d be telling me that I could have gotten them the same thing at Kohls for half the price!

       1. Yes! My parents have splurged on exactly three things in their lives: sending my sister and I to Catholic school, the golf club membership, and the beach condo.

          My mom is a nurse and my dad is in the trades and they’re very practical, down to earth people. And they’ll tell you that by being frugal they get to have the beach condo so don’t waste your money on this and that :)

       2. Same here. Gift guides are wasted on my family. Fancy, splurgy stuff is not who we are.

   13. What about an Ororo heated vest for sitting in the stadium?

       1. Or a heated seat pad?

   14. Storyworth was a huge hit with my dad who is, like yours, impossible to buy for. Google it — you write a list of questions, he answers on a weekly or bi-weekly basis, and then at the end of the year it’s bound into a book, like a memoir.

   15. Does he subscribe to anything? Maybe some sort of sports streaming thing (you can tell I don’t watch sports)? I pay for a yearly software subscription for my dad.

   16. Does he have a garage fridge for beer? Get him a bottle cap remover and bucket to put next to it – you could probably track one down in the theme of a sports team or similar. Or – and this might be a stretch – do you think he might like a record player he and your mom can use for parties?

       1. Two gifts I’ve already given him (and so many records)!

   17. My elderly FIL loves to get a copy of a book I’ve enjoyed so he can read it and we can discuss it.

4. What sweater have you bought in the last year or this year that you reach for all the time? Links appreciated.

   1. It isn’t perfect but I wear this a ton: https://www.quince.com/women/mongolian-cashmere-fisherman-crew?color=teak&gender=women&tracker=collection_page__women%2Fcashmere__Cashmere+Sweaters__8&qpid=_zjkpczd97

   2. https://evereve.com/products/jessie-off-shoulder-pullover-red

      https://www.jcrew.com/p/womens/categories/clothing/sweaters/cardigan/cashmere-patch-pocket-cardigan-sweater/CB881?display=standard&fit=Classic&color_name=black&colorProductCode=CB881

      https://www.belladahl.com/collections/jackets-sweaters/products/b4596-h24-300-slouchy-sweater

   3. I got a couple of these Gap cash soft sweaters on sale for $30 and they’re very soft. I like that they come in petite and bright colors, unlike most things that are so drab right now. My experience with gap sweaters is that they don’t hold up all that well, but I can get a lot of wear out of them for a few years at least.

      https://www.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=483675052

      1. These are surprisingly good. I bought one last winter specifically because they came in actual colors and I wasn’t choosing from only beige, dark beige, ivory, navy, and black.

         1. Are they warm?

            1. Warmish. Not as warm as wool, but reasonably warm for the weight.

   4. The Everlane honeycomb funnel neck. So cozy, so chic.

   5. It’s a men’s sweater, but it fits my aesthetic. I have all colors in XS.

      https://bananarepublicfactory.gapfactory.com/browse/product.do?pid=486764021&vid=1&tid=bfpl000035&kwid=1&ap=7&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAAD_AT8vZvoApH9E4zwNpqjfgChkfK&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIgbrgi6TpiQMVKl9HAR0q2gBYEAQYASABEgKKY_D_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds#pdp-page-content

5. Very specific request – but we’ll be Oahu over the Christmas and I thought it could be a nice time to get some family photos done. Anyone have any recommendations for photographers? We’ll mostly be based on the North Shore, so local to there would be a plus, but we are willing to head into Honolulu for someone that’s great. Appreciate all the travel tips this board has shared over the years!

   1. Dont waste time on family vacation on getting photos done – wait until you’re home to do them

      1. I disagree! We do family photos on vacas and I love looking at them. For travel photos, I have used Flytographer and have had great experiences 3 out of 4 times.

   2. The prior commenter was not very kind. I don’t think you’re wasting time, we got pictures done in Cabo one year, and I treasure them. It’s the only time my parents have been in the same place as us when we did pictures! They live in another state.
      No specific suggestions, but ask your resort. They might even have a photographer on site; ours did.

6. On a scale between West Elm being the low end and Ethan Allen being the high end, how is Room and Board?
   https://www.roomandboard.com/catalog/dining-and-kitchen/tables/ventura-extension-tables#power-reviews-tabs

   1. Room and Board is great quality. It blows West Elm away.

   2. Above Ethan Allan IMO. Most of my furniture is from there (much of it bought used) and it will outlast me.

7. Above Ethan Allan IMO. Most of my furniture is from there (much of it bought used) and it will outlast me.

   1. Back when movies were actually good and movie theaters weren’t gross, we enjoyed going to the movies on Christmas afternoon. Now we go to the art museum.

   2. -going to the local Christmas market and picking out an ornament that reminds us of the year
      -special holiday roast coffee for weekend French press
      -ice skating at the local temporary outdoor rink, even though I am almost in need of the penguin child assist for help
      -going to the late Christmas Eve service and then having Champagne at home at midnight and doing stockings to each other then. stocking usually has something moderately splurge-y in it – think AirPods, earrings, etc – for extra fun
      -opening our gifts to each other on Christmas night when we’re unwinding after having spent the day with family
      -going on a romantic getaway for New Years

   3. Before kids, my now husband / then boyfriend and I liked to travel over the Christmas holiday. Like, not to someone’s house, but to a new place and to stay in a hotel. We particularly liked to find a place to have duck for Christmas dinner.

   4. All the normal ones? We put up a tree, string lights outside, decorate the house with garlands and wreaths and candles, have a festive cocktail on Christmas Eve at the local restaurant, and watch holiday movies. I usually attempt some sort of dish that is more intensive or make cookies, with mixed results, and we often have a jigsaw puzzle out for the week.

   5. My favorite part is doing absolutely nothing for several days. I exchange gifts with family but otherwise barely observe the holidays most years, and it is very freeing

   6. We exchange books on Christmas Eve and start reading them that night. I always make his favorite cookies while watching The Holiday – he commented last year that he’s seen the second half of The Holiday so many times, but never the first half, because he comes downstairs when he smells the cookies :) We put up lights and decorations the weekend after Thanksgiving, and I make cocktails with bourbon, lemon juice, maple syrup, ginger liquor and leftover cranberry sauce.

8. I was thinking about the request for gifts for dad above, and since I just got done ordering sweaters for my own husband and son, I remembered hearing a show on (I think) Marketplace with my imaginary boyfriend Kai Ryssdal.

   He had some sort of retail expert on the show talking about Christmas shopping trends, and the expert mentioned that Christmas season is basically the only time men’s sweaters sell at all, and they are overwhelmingly purchased by women as gifts for men. Retailers know this, so their marketing of men’s sweaters is aimed at women.

   I believe Kai said that he hates shopping and yes, to the extent he owned sweaters, they were purchased for him as gifts.

   Trends may have changed over time, but not in my house. My son (21) can spend an hour at REI obsessing over the perfect Patagonia hoodie, but a trip to Macy’s or Nordstrom to pick out a sweater would be pure torture for him. I am not sure my husband has ever bought himself a sweater. I’ve bought him several, even knitted him a couple. But no sweater-buying men in my life.

   I gave my late mom’s then boyfriend a sweater for Christmas once – to be honest I didn’t even like the guy that much – and every time I saw him after that he was wearing the damned sweater!

   I wish I could find the show transcript to link it but after wading through a couple of pages of results I’m not finding it.

   1. Haha! My father also had a collection of sweaters, purchased for him by my mother.

   2. Are there men who buy any of their own clothes without being dragged kicking and screaming to the mall by their wives?

      1. Yes, most men manage to dress themselves. They just may not have the same aesthetic preferences as their wives (I.e., not wanting to wear a sweater from Macy’s or Nordstrom).

         1. +1

            I learned awhile ago that pushing my aesthetic onto DH was kinda pointless. And he dresses FINE. Not trendy, but he always looks appropriate.

      2. How did these men get clothes before marriage?

         1. Their mommies of course

      3. My husband has great taste – he’s got Orvis/LL Bean meet Brooks Brothers down pat. Every now and again he’ll err and select an off pair of jeans or shoes, but I’m really never able to shop for him because he’s always got something perfect in his closet! (He has other flaws, never you fret ha.)

      4. My husband and father are both invertate replacers-of-the-worn-out-garment-with-a-new-copy-of-the-same-garment. God help us if brooks brothers changes their sweater offerings or if hanes changes their boxer brief cuts.

      5. Yes, but they will make themselves uniforms. Mine finds a dress shirt he likes. Buys multiple colors. Same for pants. “Shopping” happens if there is a change when he goes to repurchase

         1. My husband is like this. The sweater, however, is a little spice on the uniform, bought by me. He buys and replaces uniform pieces (shirts, pants, underwear, socks, shoes.)

      6. Yes! My dad is a dandy. He has beautiful clothes and beautiful hats. Nothing cheap but everything lasts decades. I’m truly jealous of how well he understands his style and his lifestyle and how he makes an effort every day and always has the perfect clothes. People notice this about him instantly and the truth is both his mother and sister are fashionistas to a fault so I guess it runs in the family but skipped me.

         My job took me to court a lot and we all wore suits. I’ll never forget a friend of mine using binder clips in the middle of the office to show a colleague how his suit should be tailored. He’s literally the most beautifully dressed man. Just beautiful well tailored suiting and separates that played by all the rules. I only saw him wear a black suit once and we were at a funeral. He would wear vintage Ralph lauren cardigans with jeans and button downs. He would wear an ascot when he’d take his wife on their wood speedboat. Another friend called me weeks before his wedding to ask what designer shoes he should wear. It was 45 minute conversation. I later learned he called several people to ask them this. My late brother loved clothes too, but more in a label conscious stereotypical gay man way.

         I find menswear charming and I’m so lucky to know stylish men. It’s worth noting that none of these me have particularly strong opinions on women’s fashion.

         1. I love this story!

      7. Mine certainly does but sadly all of it is either completely utilitarian (flame resistant work wear etc) or hideous event t-shirts, lol. Absolutely nothing for aesthetics :( :(

   3. Kai is a national treasure.

      1. I listen to Marketplace half for the stories, half for Kai. I’m genuinely bummed on the days there’s a substitute host.

      2. Let’s do the numbers, Kai. ;)

      3. 100%

   4. That’s funny. I alternated between ties and sweaters for gifts for my dad growing up, so checks out!

   5. Ha! All sweaters my husband owns were purchased by me.

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