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Thursday’s Workwear Report: Everywhere Ponte Square-Neck Top

A woman wearing a black sleeveless top, khakis, and gold earrings, and carrying a black handbag

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

I love a square neckline, and this top from Banana Republic looks perfect. I have a few pieces from the “Everywhere Ponte” line and have been really happy with the quality so far, so this might be the newest addition to my collection.

It comes in black and “iced vanilla,” either of which would be a great option for layering under blazers and sweaters for the office or pairing with your favorite denim for the weekend. 

The top is $60 at Banana Republic and comes in sizes XXS–XXL. 

An even more affordable option (that goes up to XXL) is from Ann Taylor; it's $27.65 on sale and available in three colors.

Sales of note for 12.5

169 Comments

  1. Just wanted to report back to those who commented on my post in yesterday morning’s thread. Your words and suggestions were so helpful, as were the comments from others who have been through a similar sounding experience. It gives me hope that there will be a morning I wake up with a light heart. Anyway, I have instructed my lawyer to contact him today, saying I would be filing for divorce, so the process is underway. I have friends and dogs coming to the house this evening, and I am away over the weekend so I have plenty to occupy my mind that is not him.

    1. Have you thought about taking up a new activity? Something completely different from what you have done previous. So you have something with no connection to him?

      I recently started a new sport and I’m loving discovering something new at this stage of life. I love that I’m the only teammate who is married with kids because it means like none of the conversations revolve around kids/spouses. We’re all beginners so we just talk about the sport a lot at lessons.

    2. Friends and dogs are the best. Even today, years after the life events that started it, a couple of friends and I still text from time to time asking the others to send photos of their dogs on particularly crappy days. I hope your brighter days come sooner rather than later!

    4. Yay for friends and dogs! I got divorced in the middle of the pandemic, and the only people I saw in person were three friends and their dogs every week. They’re the best.

  2. Help me understand clothes (and is there some master list of this for the US? I realize some of this is more culture than anything else).
    A lot of dresses now are of a polyester / synthetic twill material. Generally, this is great. I love washable things since it keeps my drycleaning bills down (MMLF Etsuko). But sometimes the material is thin. In that case, the bodice and skirt are either lined or are made of two layers of material. It’s not always clear when ordering, but often when the material is thinner, the sleeves are just one layer and wind up being sheer. With short sleeves, I don’t think that this is a problem. (Yes?) But with long sleeves, IDK what sort of garment this is (and often the website makes it look like a dress might be work wear). The dresses aren’t really s*xy or eveningwear or prom-type. I can’t put my finger on it but something feels off. Wool / cotton items don’t seem to have this issue.

    1. I would say that it’s constructed that way because most women have softer, fuller arms as a very general rule and a double-layer sleeve (already a narrow spot) would feel constrictive and sweaty and icky (and serves no purpose structurally, the way that double layers in the trunk conceal underpinnings and give structure).

      But I suspect it looks “off” because it is off, nothing deeper than that! Inexpensive poly is a tough fabric to make look upscale and chic, whereas even inexpensive cotton can look a bit more expensive than it is (same with linen, etc). It’s also just a cost-saving measure, most clothing companies are cutting every single corner to save pennies wherever they can. A single layer sleeve isn’t objectionable to most (or they can’t afford to object and vote with their wallet) so they “get away with it”.

    3. You’ve summarized why I don’t get the hype around MMLF. It is really hard (but not impossible) to make synthetic materials look nice and hang well. I don’t mind paying TJ Maxx prices for Donna Karan or similar synthetic jersey but I refuse to spend hundreds on a thin, badly constructed, synthetic jersey dress. Seeing the Etsuko or other items from MMLF next to The Fold’s ‘clever crepe’ line is like night and day. All of my Belleville tops are washable but they are also super well constructed with finished hems, french seaming, invsible zippers, and thick fabric that doesn’t show the bumps of my bra straps (a personal pet peeve).

      1. This is interesting. I love my Etsuko dress and it’s done amazingly well for me over the years. Its sleeves are NOT sheer. The sheer sleeves are from other brands (adding DVF in there, but on a fabric with a very heavy print where the sheerness is not as obvious as it is on a solid color; it also seems to be not a classic workwear piece).

        I may have to check out The Fold, but I just don’t need workwear like I used to (but I want things to be wearable at work; items from The Fold read so solidly as workwear that I doubt I’d wear them outside of work, so hesitant to spend that kind of $). I do wish that The Fold would have something like “boss b*tch but dialed down a notch to make it stealth,” because I would buy that stuff up. Or like if The Fold had a West Coast Vibe collection.

        1. Oh agree, I do wish there was more of a business casual side to the Fold – their summer tops are slightly more in that vein. But it is so darn hard to find appropriate high end women’s business clothes that I don’t mind them staying in their lane!

        2. I totally don’t get the love expressed for The Fold. The designs are yawn inducing. How about a mix of Elie Tahari, Trina Turk and Lafayette 148? All of them are really well made, but more on point here.

        3. The Fold is not the answer, if the question is how to get away from poly and poly blends. I wish they were, but they are really not.

    4. I think (maybe??? the OP is not entirely coherent) that you’re talking about the drape and hand of the fabric, which doesn’t necessarily have to do with its cheapness.

    5. I’m confused also but I think she’s talking about blousy-type dresses that have to have a slip underneath them and then the arms aren’t lined?

      IMHO things are lined to keep private bits covered or to hide things like cellulite. with arms there’s less of a need to hide either of those things.

  3. I’m looking for a mantra or slogan or something to think of to help combat my new(ish) manager imposter syndrome. I’m a big quote person so just having something to think of helps. I used to have a quote that reminded me why the work I was doing was important even if it was hard, but its not as relevant now. Any ideas?

    1. I have deep imposter syndrome and nothing gets me going like, “carry yourself with the confidence of a mediocre man”

      Prob not something to post on your office wall, but my word, the truth in that statement….!

    2. when I was very early in my career, somebody who I immensely respect reached over to me in a big meeting and said, ‘Nobody in this room is any smarter than you. They’ve just been here longer and talk louder.’

      And… 12 years later, it’s 100% true.

    3. My PhD supervisor told me “If you’re nervous, it means you give a s—” which I repeat to myself every time I walk into the classroom.

    6. My mantra is borrowed from Theodore Roosevelt. “Speak softly and carry a big stick”.

      1. I like the one about the man in the arena – sometimes I say to myself, “I know victory; I know defeat” and it reminds me that I am not a cold and timid soul!

    7. A friend of mine at my prior job has a post it note that said “pressure is a privilege” which is from a Billie Jean King quote about tennis. I think about this all the time so I guess it has also become my inspirational mantra!

      1. I think about this all the time too! Time to bring it back to more regular rotation. Maybe I’ll make that post it.

    14. A former boss and mentor of mine always told me, “don’t ever assume you aren’t the smartest person in the room.” If you can ignore the double-negative, it’s a pretty good reminder that your ideas are always relevant (and they might just be brilliant).

    15. Look up the bike face speech at Smith College. After that the words Bike Face will mean something important.

  4. A rant into the void: I have spent the last 90 minutes filing FSA reimbursement claims for a variety of specialists I have seen in the first half of the year (I am fine, thankfully). Every single specialist has its own portal and password, which is annoying but understandable. What’s maddening is that of the four different portals, only one actually can give me a billing receipt that shows everything I need (my name, doctor name, date of service, description of service, balance). Two of them only show a balance and I have to call the office to get a detailed receipt. One of them shows everything but the date. Each office call is 10+ minutes to explain what I need. Aren’t these portals supposed to make it easier?

    1. Total sympathy about the hassle with both portals and FSAs, but I’ve always just uploaded the EOB from my insurance, which has all this info and is all in one place. Does that not work for your FSA?

      1. That’s what I do, too, and I can access the EOB without needing to deal with a human.

      2. This is what I do. It’s not perfect but better than trying to get what I need from the doctor’s office.

    2. Can you get a debit card and pay the doctor directly with the debit card? That’s what I do, although I have HSA not FSA.

    3. I so agree. I have spent literally 3 months trying to get a FSA compliant receipt from a dentist’s office. It is maddening.

    4. Agree that this is maddening as someone who also sees a lot of specialists. I’ve just made it a habit to ask the receptionist at check in/check out for a full billing receipt for my FSA with billing codes. Otherwise it’s like pulling teeth to get it from the office over the phone (and why are doctor’s offices still asking for my fax number?!?).

    5. No. It is the doctor’s office of the grocery store self check-out line. You are doing their work. You work there, part-time and unpaid.

      IDK what seniors do and others who just don’t have a home computer and can’t read on a phone screen (or just have jitterbug phones or, gasp, a landline at home).

      1. My father was one of the last independent family practice physicians in our town. He eventually was forced to sell his practice to the local hospital. His patient population waslow income and elderly, and the hospital kept trying to force apps, websites, etc on them. He tried to explain that his patients couldn’t use these, but his hospital did not accept it. He retired but it was a huge source of frustration for him.

        1. I miss doctors like your father. And these days, we have hospitals are getting held hostage by ransomware, so we know that hospital admin didn’t know what they were getting themselves into.

          1. His fights with the hospital were epic. He would regularly spend 30-60 minutes with each patient. They were elderly and had multiple health issues they wanted to discuss. The hospital wanted him in and out in about 10 minutes.

        2. Just a voice in support of electronic medical records. I’m nearly 60 so I understand that it may be complicated for non-tech savvy people, but electronic medical records saved my life recently.

          In addition to the life-saving features, I really like that I can see the details of all of my encounters with healthcare professionals, including their notes about the encounter, which I never saw before electronic medical records. It’s been so helpful to me in understanding my own diagnosis and treatment plan.

          1. I am glad that electronic medical records were life saving for you.

            It really depends whether they’re accurate or not.

          2. In theory, this is how EMRs work. In reality, not everyone is on an EPIC-based system (and if you are an EPIC customer, like you license from them, your documentation prevents you from disparaging them or saying anything negative about them — WTF). The systems don’t talk to each other. The systems also don’t process HIPAA waivers, durable powers of attorney, or advance directives. So, they may all ignore your DNR or call your ex-spouse vs your current spouse because you updated with one provider but they have the paper copy and haven’t uploaded it. It does seem to flag penicillin allergies, so that is good, or if you are diabetic. But it won’t talk to your foot doctor who may have you on a med that would make a new med contraindicated. Foot, eye, and dentists are all carved out of the standard health care system and they aren’t included but should be.

          4. It’s true of any medical records, but it’s scary when a misdiagnosis and an inaccurate drug allergy from a trip three years ago can interfere with emergency care in a hospital hours away that happened to be purchased by the same conglomerate and gained access to all its charts, but not to your routine providers.

  6. Whenever I try the square neck trend none of my br@s stay hidden… what am I missing? I also have small assets so the “balconet” style answer doesn’t seem to suit…

    1. I have this problem too, I love the look of square necks but can’t wear them. :(

    2. Also have small assets. It is a thing to have loops with snaps sewn into the top
      that the a bra strap gets put through.

    3. I’m guessing you need a bra where the straps are set much wider than normal.

      My issue is the opposite: I love a good sleeveless top in the summer but so many of them seem to be cut with straps much closer to the neck than the edge of my shoulder, meaning my bra straps are visible unless I intentionally scoot them higher up my shoulders (where they don’t really stay because they’re not designed to sit there). Racerback bras aren’t the answer, because they often cut too close to the neck and are visible there. Does anyone have a rec for a regular underwire bra where the straps attach closer to the middle of your chest and back, rather than practically in your underarms? I’ve bought and tried on a lot of bras lately and find it mystifying how many of them seem to be designed to dig into my underarm fat (yes, I’ve been measured multiple times at different stores and I am wearing the correct size. They just don’t really fit my body shape when the straps are set so wide). It would also seem the bra would achieve more lift and cleavage if it were lifting from an inch closer to the center of my body. The best I have found so far is the good old VS lightly lined demi. I have also tried Pepper, Third Love, and Gap.

      1. I have little straps from Amazon that clip onto my bra straps in the back to pull them closer together. It’s a decent solution.

    4. You might need to look for square necklines that are cut higher. The one shown here looks really low to my eye.

    5. I wear a balcony style bra. Or just one of my lower cut bras and I put double sided tape on the bra straps and lay the top on them and it keeps the top in place with no bra showing.

    7. Yes, these are best for balconette or Demi style bras, or even a strapless bra. But it needs to be cut the right way. The problem is usually not the straps of the bra, but the corner of the cup where it joins the strap.

  7. Work / moving dilemma back!

    I literally just got a small promotion (no duties change, but small raise + title bump) at my current job, but…
    for various reasons, my husband and I are looking to leave our HCOL city in the next year. Our lease is up next month. My current job is making it clear that true career progression is tied to in-office time (bleh) so despite me being hired 100% remote and having that designation, if I can’t find a way to make facetime happen a bit more, the progress is likely done (and I may even be facing mysterious “performance issues” that wind up in being managed out).
    I’ve been considering my hometown–which has a painfully weak job market–, and on a complete whim I looked up the biggest employer there, where my mom retired from and there was a job matching my exact field/job titles.
    I applied, and just sailed through a screener interview and have a second interview today.
    So here’s where I’m really waffling between options:

    –Relocate in a year (the year designation is our target to buy a house) , try to hang on to Current Job as long as I can and hope for the best

    –Take New Job (assuming offer) and relocate now–this job is a slight drop in title and comp, but not much, and the COL in hometown is 1/2 what is is here. This employer is on the Forbes and Fortune best places to work and is well known for keeping employees a LONG time so it’s not ultra-risky but you never know

    –Relocate now, talk to boss and cross fingers that I can hold on to current job as long as possible

    I realize I may not have any choices here, but the quick progression of screener to hiring manager interview has me a bit spun out and overthinking.

    My husband and I did check out lower COL places where my current job has an office, and we found 2 or 3 possibles so that’s in play if Possible Job doesn’t pan out, but I just want to be around my immediate and extended family and college friends, etc.

    How do you make these tough choices with incomplete information? I’m stumped.

    1. Seems like the New Job in hometown is a no-brainer, assuming no red flags pop up in the interview process. I’m not sure why you are hesitating, other than your attachment to a timeline you decided on before you saw this listing.

      1. Agreed! Assuming you get an offer, seems like it was meant to be. I know we are always skeptical of good things lining up like this (success should be a struggle!) but sometimes the universe does align and it’s ok to take the win!!’

    2. If your goal is to relocate to your hometown, taking this (assuming it materializes) seems like a no-brainer to me. What’s holding you back?

      1. oh if it’s your self imposed house-buying timeline, rent for a year in Hometown instead of renewing in HCOL?

      2. The salary is likely about 5k lower, job title lower, and I’d be leaving a job where I’m crushing it and just got a promotion + have gotten a big bonus and major kudos, to a new job that may or may not work out! Plus if New Job doesn’t work, I’d be in Hometown without a job where the job market is ROUGH. If I cling onto Existing Job I may be able to in theory work out an exception or do the 4+ hour train ride to the nearest physical office a couple times a month.

        Maybe I am overthinking it and if I get New Job it’s a sign!

        2. If New Job doesn’t work out, you could always move out of Hometown to a different job, and since it seems like your spouse is both flexible and has steady income, the risk isn’t quite as high. IMO, if your reaction is “but I could never leave hometown once I move back!” then that is a great piece of info about how valuable living in hometown is to you.

          Leaving any job, especially one you like and are great at, is always a bit of a trust fall. To me, being in a support network (especially if you have or want kids) in a LCOL place at a Forbes/Fortune company seems worth it for only a 5k drop, unless there are red flags like no promotion opportunities comparable to current job.

          Do your due diligence, but don’t let fear of the unknown prevent you from taking a calculated risk.

    3. Take new job. Either go month to month on the current lease until you move or do a short term rental in your hometown until you get settled.

      1. I’m very fortunate here, it’s 0–he lives off investments and doesn’t work. He is interested in getting his MA (or MFA) so Hometown is a top contender due to several major and well regarded colleges/universities.

    5. If you and your husband want to move to your hometown and it makes sense for your family, take that job in a heartbeat. You’ll figure out housing – probably a good idea to rent for a year anyway so you can get to know the city again as an adult and figure out where you want to be (eg maybe close of maybe farther from certain friends or family, maybe there is a new part of town that has developed that you wouldn’t have thought of before)

    6. Nearly the same salary as what you make in a high cost of living area is amazing. I wouldn’t even have to think about that. I suppose the real question is whether your husband can find a job in new location and whether you really really want to live there.

  8. Recommendations please:

    Not sure anyone has done some version of this but figured I would ask…..

    Partner and I are taking a travel trailer to the National Parks in early fall. The first leg of the trip is Grand Tetons and Yellowstone.
    We have both Yellowstone and Grand Teton sites booked for the duration of the two week trip (easy to cancel either location for a $10 fee) .
    We are wondering if it would be best to stay in the Tetons for the duration and day trip into Yellowstone
    or to stay in Yellowstone when seeing it.
    Thoughts? Ideas? Tips?

    1. Definitely stay in Yellowstone while you’re exploring there! I’m not sure if you’ve been before, but I was amazed and shocked at how huge that park is. You’d be wasting so much time just driving in and out if you stayed in Teton. Waste might be a strong word because the drive is gorgeous, but to get from Teton to the far side of Yellowstone would take many hours.

      This sounds like an amazing trip! Have so much fun!

      1. Oh my big tip is to remember to bring binoculars. We forgot this while there and were very thankful to a guide with a different group who let us use his scope when a grizzly ear was spotted in the park. You were so far away to view safely that we would have just seen a blob if it hadn’t been for him!

      2. +1. Yellowstone is huge and when we were there last year there was significant road work going on, compounding travel delays. Staying in Grand Teton and daytripping to Yellowstone repeatedly is not viable, particularly for the more distant points in Yellowstone.

    2. No question, stay in Yellowstone. The roads are slow, there’s lots of traffic and often construction, plus early morning and evening are the best times of day to see wildlife (or to hit them on the road) and the least crowded times of day. You don’t want to have to go back and forth the whole time.

    3. Stay in Yellowstone. Yellowstone is huge, and the trip to get into Yellowstone every day gets old. Is the plan to stay in Yellowstone for a week and GT for a week? Or is it 2 weeks in one or the other? YS seems much bigger than GT, so if you are picking one, I would pick YS.
      I love YS and the GT, so I am jealous that you get 2 weeks there in the fall!

      1. If choosing one or the other, choose GT! It’s scenery is more stunning, the hiking is better, and it’s way less crowded.

        YS is fine, it has better wildlife but it’s so, so crowded. You can certainly get in good hikes, but the park overall caters more to people sho prefer to tour it via car and maybe walk on the boardwalks.

        If you’re outdoorsy, GT is way way better.

        1. Agree with everyone that YS is huge and you should stay there instead of day tripping, but I also think they’re both worth seeing (hiking is definitely better in GT). YS shouldn’t be nearly as crowded in Fall as summer. Be aware some of the facilities/amenities close early September, by the way (and snow is a possibility). Their website has a list of dates when things close.

          Also, the North road from the Gardiner entrance to Mammoth is legit kind of terrifying and I wouldn’t want to do it with a trailer. It’s the temporary road they built after the main road flooded and it is windy and steep (if you’re used to mountain driving, maybe it won’t seem so bad, but I hated it)

        2. Also, YS is so big we actually moved hotels within YS to save drive time–we stayed near old faithful a few nights, then near the Grand Canyon of the Yellowstone for a night, then a night in Mammoth. It’ll take about an hour at least to get between most of those. Yes, moving frequently is kind of a pain, but definitely saves on drive time.

          1. We did this, too. It can take 2 hours to drive from one end of the park to another.

    4. Definitely stay in / near the park you’re visiting! They’re close for national parks, yes, but not really commuteable if you will.

      The Yellowstone traffic is terrible, I wouldn’t want to fight it. TBH, I think most of Yellowstone is overrated but the cool part (the Lamar Valley) is in an area that’s further from Grand Teton.

      Parts of Grand Teton are certainly crowded too, but not as congested as Yellowstone. Grand Teton is my favorite park ever, enjoy!

    5. Yellowstone is huge, you will definitely want to stay there if you want to explore it! As others have said, driving up from Grand Teton every day would be a huge drag.

      And FWIW, we didn’t have an issue getting away from the crowds in Yellowstone when we wanted to–you just have to be willing to go off the beaten path a bit. A ranger told us that 99% of visitors visit 1% of the park and that was certainly our experience. Although I definitely recommend visiting the 1% as well, the thermal features were like nothing I’ve ever seen in my life.

    6. Stay in Yellowstone! Yellowstone is MASSIVE. I did a Teton/Yellowstone trip a few years ago and while I understood intellectually that there was a size differential, it really blew my mind in practice. It takes a long time to get around Yellowstone especially when it’s peak tourist season and you’re going out and about at peak times of the day. You’ll burn lots of time driving around if you try to day trip into Yellowstone and be stuck there at peak times. This may not work for you, but we also decided to head out around dawn and return at 10:30 or so, rest midday, and then venture out again around 3:30-4. We tend to prioritize avoiding crowds and direct sun/heat and the sunsets/sunrises were just *chef’s kiss.* I also agree with the poster who noted that most visitors see just a small bit of Yellowstone. Definitely take the time to get recommendations and explore less “popular” stuff.

      Also, get bear spray for BOTH parks. I’ve seen bears at Grand Teton both times I’ve been there. Be bear aware!! (You can google this phrase and also look on NPS websites for bear safety guidance.)

      Have fun!!!! This is just the best trip.

  9. I’m going to be in NYC in a few weeks. Would a pink sheath dress & suit jacket fly there? I live in the south where no one bats an eye. I have both light pink and hot pink. Work at a federal government agency.

    1. It will stand out, but whether in a good way (bold) or a bad way (churchy looking) is in your attitude and the style of the suit.

      1. Totally agree. Coming from someone originally from a small town who did not know the difference between a church suit and a work suit when starting my first big city job. Oh that pink suit I bought!

    2. It will stand out, but that may be fine. You may read as southern–which you are. There’s more color in New York in the summer, maybe especially this year. I’m seeing a ton of white and ivory.

      I think the sheath with matching jacket may be more out of the ordinary in NYC than the colors. People are wearing a lot of pants, including pantsuits and wide-leg trousers with unmatched jackets.

    3. What kind of activity? For court: maybe not. For a conference or random work event: sure, if you will look confident and comfortable. If you will be self-doubting whether you made the wrong choice it will become the wrong choice by default. For the theater or dinner or similar: anything goes.

    5. What are you doing in NYC? I think you are fine for pretty much anything but a court hearing (unless you are a witness or attending as a client). But this depends so much on your personality and how you personally feel in the outfit.

    6. I love color so I say to go for it. Will you stand out? Yes, even in summer New Yorkers tend to wear more solid neutrals vs. brights.
      I also agree with the point about sheath dress with a matching jacket being a bit of an out of style look but I still see it for big meeting days at my formal office. Interestingly at a recent meeting of 20 odd leaders (internal, no clients, but very senior) only 2 women wore actual heels – white sneakers, loafers/mules and casual flats were the more common choices.

    7. Hi all (or can I say y’all?), OP here. It is just for internal meetings (and I’m not a lawyer). For the “big” meeting, I am wearing black. For the other internal days at the office, I wanted the bring my pink suits.

      1. Bring your pink suit but also bring a back up plan, so you have a back up plan once you read the room. Light blue is generally my favorite for summer suits.

      2. I don’t know that I would bring two pink suits. I feel like one would be fine, but if you bring two different ones you risk being known as The Pink Suit Lady.

        1. Unless, as noted below, Lqwyer Barbie or similar what you’re going for. In which case, go for it!

      3. Maybe this is the San Franciscan in me. All of my big meetings are in NYC. I would want to blend in and not stick out, personally. I’d leave the pink suits at home. It of course depends on what the meeting is about but I’d want to look like you fit.

      4. I wouldn’t do both- way too likely you’ll be remembered as “oh yeah remember she came to the office last year? the pink suit one?” One is good.

        1. Yeah, I wouldn’t do either because I would not want to be remembered as Pink Suit Lady.

    8. I’m in NYC and have always lived here and would totally wear that. Especially the light pink. For a while my favorite “suit” was a purple sheath with a purple blazer. The purple blazer still gets a lot of play. I definitely wear more color than most but its not been a negative. Part of it could be the attitude/style as mentioned by another poster.

      1. +1 that the light pink is a better choice than the bright pink for NYC. Would also look nice mixed with black separates from the “big meeting” suit.

      1. That’s kind of why I love the idea! I’m not OP – I would be Goth Rock Barbie – but I’m not opposed if that’s OP’s jam.

      4. Agree but not in a good way. Costumey is not the vibe for wanting to be taken seriously.

    10. I am a fan of color. That said, the brighter the color, the more expensive and tailored you need to look. I saw a woman in court wearing hot magenta but it looked like she pulled it out of the small bag in the mail box that morning as it still had deep fold wrinkles everywhere. We can wear the same cheap black or blue suit a few times a week and no one will notice even a few wrinkles as long as there is no animal hair.

  10. Does L.L. Bean typically have a coupon or sale for July 4? There are some pricier items I want to buy from there, but with the holiday approaching, I’ll wait if I can expect a coupon.

    1. They usually offer something like 10%, maybe 20% but I dont ever remember seeing more from them. They’re just not a company that does heavy discounting.

      1. Coming from someone wearing an LL Bean cabled cardigan right now, I will say their prices are worth it. I don’t even think twice about full price for their stuff anymore.

    2. They actually did an email blast last weekend with a 10% off coupon. I agree with the other poster that you won’t find a storewide sale better than that, although they do put individual off-season items on sale on their website.

  11. Just need to vent for a second…

    I placed an online order last week and accidentally shipped it to an address I haven’t lived at in five years. Didn’t realize it until today when I went to check on the delivery date and it was showing delivered to my old address.

    Ugh, I’m so frustrated with myself for rushing, not double-checking, and not deleting the address out after we moved. There’s nothing the vendor can do since it shipped to the address I gave them. Feeling so stupid even if in the grand scheme of things this is not a big deal.

    Anyone else have moments like this?

      2. +2. Sorry, OP. I know exactly how crappy this can make you feel, especially if other things are stressing you out too.

    2. Benn there, done that. Once I caught it time and once I didn’t.
      I also drove home from work to my old place after a recent move.

    3. I did this. The old place is very close to my current address, so I put a note on the door with my number, got a call, and was able to retrieve the package. It was a gift that I could not have replaced in time so it was a relief.

    4. A couple of years ago, the former tenant in my house ordered what seemed like an entire nursery’s worth of baby stuff that came to me. She hadn’t lived there in years and it took some digging to figure out where she lives now. I found her, repacked all the stuff into one box and sent it on. These things happen and hopefully the person who receives the packages will understand.

    6. Oh yeah. Last winter, I ordered pillowcases from a place that I order from once in a blue moon. Sent them to the place we haven’t lived at for almost 4 years. I hope the new owners liked them.

    7. I did that once, but I just porch pirated my own shipment once I realized what I had done, there was no new tenant at my old place yet.

      1. I have done that! But I had met the new tenant of my old place so I just left them a note that I’d picked up my own package.

    8. If it makes you feel better I sent my mom Mother’s Day flowers to my childhood address and somehow forgot to input the house number. They didn’t get delivered until a week later (the regular UPS guy knows them) so essentially I sent her dead roses. A week late. Ugh.

    9. My sister moved houses and I accidentally sent her birthday gift to the old address a couple of months after she moved because it was saved in the store app. The new owners of her old house refused to hold or forward mail. They were big mad about something, I think it was buyers remorse. (Nothing wrong with the house, mainly that it was expensive.) So I hope they enjoyed my sister’s perfume, which I had to re-buy and re-send!

      1. I would not expect the current owners or tenants of a place to fix my mail mistakes.

        1. Given that most of us have made the mistake at some point or another, forwarding it along seems the decent thing to do. The world would be a much better place if we did the kind thing even when mildly inconvenient.

        2. I wouldn’t expect them to forward mail, but if someone sent a package to the old address, holding on to it for a few days for them to come by to pick up isn’t that unreasonable, especially if they can just leave it on the porch or something so they don’t even have to be there.

          1. UPS or FedEx as I recall. Definitely not USPS as sister had set up mail forwarding.

    10. I received several pieces of mail addressed to a woman I had never heard of and who was not the last owner of my house. It was from medical providers so I thought it might be important. I googled the rather unique name and found her name in several news articles about major drug trafficking activity in my city. I did spend a couple of hours calling those medical facilities to ask that they note in their system that she does not live here, as I did not want police showing up to search my home looking for someone who is a stranger to me (which is something that has happened before for similar reasons).

    11. Lol, my contractor told me today that my down payment check bounced. After experiencing panic, then outrage, I realized that I was using a checkbook tied to an account I had closed due to attempted fraud. I had to get a cashier’s check. It was easily fixable but definitely embarrassing.

    12. I can beat you all…I put our old address as the shipping address for our wedding registry.

  12. My husband just got laid off :( Financially we’re fine but it’s a huge blow to his ego and identity as he spent 20 years at this non profit. Any tips for supporting a spouse through this? It’s nice to be able to tell someone as I think he’ll feel some (not deserved) shame. Thanks!

    1. I think the best thing you can do is to be a listening ear and follow his lead. Reassure him that he has a ton of marketable skills when he’s ready to look for something else. Validate the good work he’s done already. Maybe more importantly, remind him that he’s more than a job and that he’s valued as a person.

      Hopefully, this ends up being a good thing in the long run, though I wouldn’t advise saying that quite yet!

    4. Both my husband and I were laid off at different times. Try to stay positive & commiserate of course, but the thing that helped me most was framing it as a time for reinvention of myself. And that has been the outcome. Career-wise, it was the best thing that ever happened to me.

    5. I wonder if this is the non-profit where my BFF works that has been in the news for a big layoff. If so, extra hugs because I know it was done in an extra tough way.

  13. Does anyone have any favorite slightly absurdist artists they enjoy, preferably photographers? I’m trying to decorate a my kid’s toy room and they have no real preference beyond ‘silly’ and colorful. Leaning towards Helga Stentzel but open to other ideas beyond typical ‘kid’ art (no framed prints of storybook characters for example).

    1. Ooh, not photographers but David Shrigley and Glen Baxter immediately pop to mind.

    2. What a neat idea for decorating a kid’s room! Not colorful, but have you considered some of Man Ray’s photographs, or the photograph of the drop of milk? You could also search online for unusual angle photographs, which will likely yield plenty of results from stock photo purveyors. Good luck!

    3. Julie Blackmon is my favorite slightly offbeat children’s photographer, but I think the pictures lean towards an adult sensibility, not sure if kids would like them.

    4. Painting not photography but my kids are really into a library book on Chuck Close.

  14. Wise hive, could you share your experiences with HRT with me?

    Caveat that am working with a doctor and I understand that everyone has a different system and history. I’m looking for anecdotal experiences, particularly regarding weight gain, because my irl resources for getting these anecdotes is limited. My only symptoms of perimenopause seems to be weight gain and some sleep disturbances. I’ve heard that many HRT users experience additional weight gain, and I want to hear more about that from others who have been there. All my general blood work has been normal, so no apparent thyroid issues, etc., just insatiable cravings and weight gain after a lifetime of keeping at a steady weight.

    I’m a longtime reader and poster going anon for this. I know it’s popped up over the years, but I can’t find it in my searches.

    1. I think it’s hard to generalize about this, as weight gain is so multifactorial. For me, I gained the most before starting HRT, and definitely had increased appetite/snacking. I was also more anxious/irritable and was sleeping poorly (hot flashes) and these factors can independently make weight gain more likely, and of course they can be symptoms of perimenopause. HRT for me has led to less weight gain, improved mood and better sleep. But I think HRT alone not enough. This time of life you need to attack it from multiple sides, as HRT isn’t always the magic bullet. I’m working on better sleep hygiene, exercise (yoga) and relaxation exercises. And I buy the best tasting/good quality healthy food I can so I have healthy things to eat around me. If I want bad stuff, I have to bake/cook it myself, or go out to get it. Trying to keep less of it available for binging. It helps.

  15. Worked for me…

  16. This is helpful..

  17. WORKED FOR ME…

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