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Splurge Tuesday’s Workwear Report: Embellished Crop Jacket

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pink tweed blazer

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

Summer is officially here, sartorially speaking, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to pass on a gorgeous tweed-y blazer like this one from Favorite Daughter. The slightly cropped length is perfect for wearing over dresses and the pink tweed will look great with summer pastels and neutrals. I would wear this with a light gray or maybe even a white sheath dress for a formal but still summer-y look.

The jacket is $348 at Nordstrom and comes in sizes XS-XL.

Looking for something similar? Ann Taylor has a number of cropped tweed jackets.

Sales of note for 6/12:

214 Comments

  1. Oh, the early 00s are back. Jacket as outermost layer, making things awkward at TSA lines? Check and check. Slingbacks are already here. Skirt suits to follow?

    1. I love this, is it really back? I felt like a ‘supermodel at an airport’ in this look, back in the day.

    2. I would love it if skirt suits came back. Except that I finally gave all mine away last year!!

      1. Aw! My 2010ish jcrew skirt suits stayed looking sharp so I kept them and wear them occasionally when formality requires it.

  2. Reposting a question from Thursday with a bit more context. I have an interview later this week and trying to think how I frame this.

    I could use advice on spinning a layoff / job restructuring in an interview, especially when still sort of employed.

    Background: my role was eliminated in March and asked to fulfill a project through the end of May, after months of uncertainty and knowing my role was likely going away. My prior role was a senior leadership role with a large team, but as part of my role being eliminated, my team was spread out across the company and I’ve been kept around as an individual contributor. This week I learned the vendor I’ve been doing the project for wants to keep me on for 3 additional months.

    I’ve been interviewing but to date have been employed so it’s truthful when I say I’m still there and I’m looking because my company has been restructuring and the industry isn’t doing well. As of next week I won’t be employed there, but I’ll be a contractor and still gainfully employed.

    I don’t want to fail an employment verification check but I also don’t want to add a new role to my resume when it’s likely to be short. I also don’t want to change my title or have a “contractor” role on my resume as it’s not at the caliber of my current role or what I’d be interviewing for.

    1. I don’t understand why you wouldn’t just use the correct dates and positions. If anything, being kept on as a contractor after a layoff shows how necessary you really are, and the whole story perfectly explains why you are looking for a job and that it is not your fault.

    2. Just say what’s actually happening succinctly. You don’t need to spin it, this is a common situation. “Was a senior X leading Y, division eliminated, staying as contractor during transition, seeking full time role.”

      1. Agree. OP, you are overthinking this. State the reality cleanly without trying to spin it. Attempting to frame it as anything else is makes it weird and likely to raise flags.

    3. Used a bad word
      Just say what’s actually happening succinctly. You don’t need to spin it, this is a common situation. “Was a senior X leading Y, division eliminated, staying as contractor during tr@nsition, seeking full time role.”

    5. I agree with everyone else. The fact that you were kept as a contractor after layoffs speaks well of you.

    6. You can also list yourself as fractional [job title]. I wouldn’t dismiss contractor or fractional or consulting titles because a lot of senior leaders laid off in the last year are also consulting/contracting/freelancing while laid off and have those titles on their resumes.

    7. Don’t make it weird OP. So you’re an individual contributor now, so what? They’ve asked you to stay on and help with the transition, which speaks positively to your work. You’ve gotten a lot of great advice.

    8. I think you are overly worried about people looking down on you. Layoffs are common and happen to most people during the course of their career. You have nothing to hide. I worked as a freelancer between jobs too after a layoff. It’s actually a sign that you have in-demand skills, and you are still in the action.

  3. Can you post your best sangria recipes (with red whine)? Also, how do you serve? I have a punch bowl and punch cups that I’d love to use. Otherwise, it’s a pitcher and either tall margarita glasses or the short glasses I use for Old Fashioneds. The pitcher isn’t that big, so maybe a punch bowl will hold it better? I want to try something new this summer.

    1. I usually make mine with white whine! :) But it’s really whatever you feel – strawberries, honeydew/watermelon, mango, peaches, oranges – the juicier ones tend to break down nicely and flavor everything. I put them in a big container and use a potato masher and then pour wine over for a day or half day. Then when it’s ready to serve pour in a sparkling wine. Keep tasting to ensure proportions. Highballs, lowballs or wine glasses but I’m usually making for a crowd so it’s solo cups! Punch bowl would be cute.

      1. Do you need to add sugar? I feel like something in sangria has made it slightly sweet but IDK if that is adding some sort of liquor / rum / bourbon or just sugar. I’d rather it be not high-test but do want a rich / deep flavor vs just notes of sugar (like a good margarita made with juice vs bad mix from a vat).

        1. Not necessarily for sangria, but for some of my punch recipes I like to boil cinnamon sticks, cloves, lemon rind for an hour or so with water, add a bit of honey, and use that as my sweetener, maybe with some applicable juices, depending on what I’m making.

          1. In my state, we have state-run ABC stores that seem to sell mainly big bottles of cheap vodka. Is there a spirit actually named “brandy” somewhere on the shelves? I don’t think I’ve ever looked for it before, but I would for a good sangria as an outcome. What do I need to look for and stay away from.

            This is going to be a fun summer.

          2. Brandy is distilled wine. If you ever read a Regency romance, the men are always enjoying brandy after dinner while the women have tea in the drawing room.

          4. I’m feel that I am familiar with brandy from folklore and also homemade fruit brandy sold to tourists at farmstands. Maybe it’s like port though, which I like.

          5. Nice brandy is usually Cognac, but there are other kinds. It’s definitely not vodka.

          8. Oh, I know that vodka and brandy are different spirits. Our local drinkers are who they stock shelves for and it seems to be so heavy on the vodka and cheap volume stuff for serious alcoholics, that I am not sure what else they stock. And because it’s state-run, it’s not like there is a “nice” liquor store where I can talk to someone about things somewhere else.

          9. There’s no way your ABC just sells big bottles of cheap vodka. I promise they sell brandy. Also, it’s okay to ask the people who work there about it, even though they work for the state.

          10. I went to the ABC store the first time to get whiskey and didn’t realize that there is bourbon whiskey and the other kind of whiskey. I don’t know what I don’t know about brandy, but maybe Cointreau is the answer? I already have that for margaritas.

          11. Bourbon is whiskey that is at least 51% corn, gets its flavour entirely from the virgin charred oak barrels, is manufactured in America, is distilled to a maximum of 160 proof and goes into the barrels at or under 125 proof.

            Whiskey is fermented grain that is aged in wooden casks.

            (Yes I can rattle that off from memory….)

    2. I’d make something else, sangria is gross and very retro in a bad way at this point.

        2. There’s always that highly toxic person who loves to trash something someone else likes for no reason at all. Word to the wise, don’t be that person.

          1. Why is it toxic to point out that something expensive and labor intensive is unlikely to be appreciated by the crowd OP probably wants to please?

      2. Maybe you don’t like wine; maybe you don’t like brandy; maybe you don’t like fruit soaked in wine. Those are all fine.

        For those who do, sangria is good so long as each component is good.

        1. Agree it’s gross. Too much sugar and it either destroys a decent bottle of wine or the base wine is just bad liquor. It’s jungle juice masquerading as a cocktail.

      5. This is silly. I can’t stand sangria, but lots of people love it. I also dislike fruitiness and juiciness in wine, which lots of people appreciate. This is “people have different tastes” 101.

      6. OP obviously asked about sangria, not your opinion about what drinks are gross. who cares if drinks are retro.

        1. This opinion made me feel like going out and buying Lambrusco (which someone derided in similar terms last time I did).

        3. Well I wouldn’t want to serve the skinny jeans and cardigans equivalent of a drink.

          2. I can’t imagine thinking about food this way. All the best food cultures on earth do not worry about whether a celebratory staple is off trend.

          5. It is possible that you are just a miserable person. OP will be more than fine serving sangria.

          8. “I wouldn’t want to serve the skinny jeans and cardigans equivalent of a drink” literally made me laugh out loud. It’s a drink to serve at a party; there is no such thing as a skinny jeans and cardigans equivalent. It’s insane that you think there is.

    3. If you make it in a punch bowl, use a batch recipe. You get into issues of dilution, stirring, what can be added early and what should be added later on, chilling it, etc.

    4. I don’t have a sangria recipe, but I have an alternative suggestion for summer wine: tinto de verano (literally, summer red wine). It’s a Spanish drink that’s red wine (usually a Tempranillo or Garnacha) with a soda water (usually lemon or lime flavored). I just make it with Sprite. Mix equal parts red wine with Sprite over ice, add a lemon slice for garnish if you’re feeling fancy, done.

    5. It’s niche, but I will throw a few orange slides, a couple of star anise, and a cinnamon stick into a pitcher or an outdoor glass dispenser. Chill for 2-8 hours (optional to add cognac, Cointreau, or dark rum. Use a decent medium red (nothing too robust). Add a splash of sparkling water when you’re ready to serve.

  4. Planning a milestone anniversary trip early fall and thinking of Korea (have never been) vs Thailand (multiple times to Bangkok but not beyond). Thoughts, tips, anecdotes welcome!

    1. I’ve been to both (well only to Seoul in Korea, been to many different places in Thailand). TBH neither place screams milestone anniversary to me. What are you interested in doing? The beaches in Thailand are pretty terrible compared to beaches in Hawaii, the Caribbean and the South Pacific. There’s massive overtourism and a lot of trash.

      1. I haven’t been but my friend found some nice beaches in South Korea. Japan is also an option.

        1. Yes Jeju Island is supposed to be nice. I have no doubt that Thailand’s beaches used to be really nice but overtourism has just destroyed them.

      3. Pretty sure that the person celebrating the anniversary can decide what “screams” milestone anniversary trip to them- people like to go to different places!

    4. If you go to Thailand, I loved this hotel and beach portion of the trip: https://pimalai.com/

      I haven’t been in several years, but it was so remote and gorgeous and the service was incredible.

    5. Been all around both, but decades ago. Thoughts: it totally depends on what you want. I absolutely loved South Korea, it was fascinating and a bit off the beaten track for tourists at the time (20 years ago) and so much history and culture. Thailand was also great but much more touristy. If you want an all inclusive beach resort where everyone speaks English, to be honest I’d go to Thailand as there’s so much choice. If you want almost anything else, I’d go to South Korea. Disclaimer: 1) this is decades old observations 2) I’m biased as I was a young woman traveling alone and felt so safe and comfortable in South Korea vs Thailand so that coloured my viewpoint.

  5. OK, women ages 45+ … where are you buying your swimwear? I went to the pool on Sunday and realized that mine no longer provides enough support in the chest and stomach area. Size 14-16. I typically wear tankinis. (I’m a pear with a long torso. Finding a one-piece that fits everywhere is literally impossible. I’ve tried.)

      2. OP here. I’ve considered this option. My issue with rashguards is that they really cling to bellies that are softer. :(

        1. I tend to get a really high bottom and then this works well for me. I have some that go up over my belly button.

    2. La Blanca has one with very supportive cups – twist front shirred one piece, Island Goddess. Someone mentioned Gottex last week, shirred peasant one piece. Both should come in a tankini top too.

    3. I bought a Boden long-length suit and really like it. I bought one of their long sleeved versions for sun protection.

    4. Year after year, I find it nearly impossible to find a sporty swimsuit that is practical and comfortable AND that doesn’t have those stupid removable pads that slide around, get bunched up, and make the top take longer to dry. Why is it so hard for manufacturers to include a thin sewn-in lining for headlight coverage?

    5. I prefer tankinis as well and don’t find one pieces very comfortable. Some brands I’ve liked:

      La Blanca
      Sunsets
      Birdsong

      I have something in my Gottex cart and they seem to have some cute options. I was also eyeing a Next by Athena suit this weekend but didn’t pull the trigger.

      I used to like Athleta but their tankinis got shorter and their quality has gone downhill. Similar comment for Lands End, they used to have cute stuff but now it seems to be for grandmas and they don’t seem to have a lot of sizes in stock.

      1. OP here. Athleta used to be my go-to, but they’ve changed their styles a lot and I don’t like them anymore. I’ve tried on Lands End suits a couple of times. They made my figure look even more matronly than it already does. I don’t know a nicer way to say it! I have a Jantzen tankini that I like, but I wish they came in more fun solid colors! I may look at La Blanca for that.

    6. I am a little younger than you, but optimize for sun protection and then comfort for laps. I hated trying to find something attractive when I was younger and it’s freeing to mostly do away with this requirement.

      My solution is swim shorts or leggings from Land’s End, a sport bikini top from Tyr or Speedo, and a high neck rash guard with thumb holes if I’m swimming when the UV index is high.

    7. Pear here. I like Gottex and Tommy Bahama. You can often find Gottex on sale at RueLaLa.

    8. For extra support in the chest and stomach area, I like LandsEnd SlenderSuit line. You can filter for long torso.

      1. Oh, I forgot about them. I find the compression fabric unflattering. I look like I bought something too small and stuffed myself into it.

    10. I fell in love with a Jesse Zhou swimsuit solely because of its print. I feel beautiful in it because it is an objectively beautiful garment and it makes me care a little less about my aging body.

    11. Speedo for laps. JCrew/Lands End for beach, although have heard good things about Andies

    12. I’m almost 42. I just bought a two-piece from Kiava and I’m looking forward to trying it this summer. It isn’t quite a bikini, but also not quite a tankini?? Kinda of hard to explain.

  6. We’re moving and need to get curtains installed (on a budget) in advance for a few awkward spots that don’t already have any blinds. The trickiest one is the very wide sliding door in the master bedroom that needs a blackout curtain. I can’t seem to find two panels that are wide enough, but then three would be far too wide. Any recommendations for me for stores to check out that could accommodate this? I didn’t do a fully exhaustive search but Pottery Barn and West Elm, plus a random local place, didn’t have the right widths online. Definitely need effective black out too.

    1. You will get much better blackout coverage with more fabric.

      Personally, I have four standard-sized panels on a double-width sliding door. This doesn’t look stretched-thin when closed, and there isn’t an awkward split trying to figure out where to divide the third panel around the support bracket in the middle of the rod.

        1. Yes; two go to the left and two go to the right. My rod is installed wide enough that I can push all the panels fully to the sides without them blocking the door.

    2. I’d do the three panels — or four. If the door placement allows, you can also extend your curtain rod way past sides of the door — that gives space on either side of the doors for the curtains to hang.

    3. I saw Paige Wassel recommend these track curtains, and I used two of the 60″ wide panels for a very large window in my last apartment. I’m a HUGE fan– they are actually blackout, glide easily on the curtain track, and look much nicer than the price would suggest. I’m afraid the amazn link will get stuck in mod, so I’ll post that as a separate comment, but you can also search the very lengthy product name:
      “Vision Home Natural Pinch Pleated Full Blackout Curtains Linen Blended Room Darkening Window Curtains 90 inch for Living Room Bedroom Thermal Insulated Pinch Pleat Drapes with Hooks 1 Panel 60″Wx90″L”

        1. We did something very similar on our sliding glass door. We extended the track past the end of the door so that when open, the curtains gather fully on the other side of the door so that we can get all the light in when we want it.

    4. Custom sized panels from Two Pages with the desired black-out level? Still expensive but I’ve found that these look considerably nicer than the Target / Ikea level and wind up costing less than Ballard, Pottery Barn, Crate & Barrel for similar coverage.

    6. For a sliding door I would just get an extra long rod to accommodate the extra curtain width. Bonus is that it makes it easier to slide the curtains all the way to the side without blocking the door.

    7. Use 4 panels from whatever retailer. I can attest that the PB cotton velvet blackout panels are very effective (and also, as someone else noted, can be ordered in custom sizes), and RH has a twill blackout that will suck all of the light out of the room. (It will also suck all of the money out of your bank account unless you find them on FBMP. But, having found them, I believe they would be worth it at full price.) The key is going to be mounting high and maybe a little wide since you’ll be moving them out of the way. With most of these brands, you also have options about the way you mount, and I would use rings in this case, since they make it easier to shove the curtains aside.

    9. The old school rule for curtains that don’t look skimpy is not less than twice the width of the window, and more than that is you want fullness. For a slider order panels that are twice the width of half the door. If that takes four panels total, for each set of two go in the back and pin them together

  7. Those of you who have excessive sweat either under the arms or with your feet, how are you handling, and if you see a medical professional, what type? Derm? My (young adult) daughter was home over the weekend and is suffering through both, but not with any products or medical intervention, but bringing changes of socks, or tops, etc. I’d love to point her in a direction to get real help and would love to hear of any IRL experiences from this board to get her started. We can and will google, but hearing from you all is very persuasive!

    1. I can’t help with the feet but certain dri deoderant applied at night helps a lot with underarms.

    2. Secret Clinical Strength for underarms plus the Lume unscented antiperspirant cream with aluminum for other areas. Apply at night.

    4. Underarm Botox for hyperhydrosis. This has been lifechanging for me. There are a few stops on the treatment pathway before this – a heavy duty anti perspirant, medication that dries you out but can also cause dry mouth/eyes, and then the Botox. I went from sweating fully through a lined wool suit every day to zero sweat unless exercising.

    5. No medical advice, but you can try terry cotton insoles (removable and washable) for the feet. Pedag has decent ones. My office mate has hyperhidrosis and these have prolonged the life of many of her shoes. It is possible that what you described might be treatable, but it also might be something your daughter learns to live with.

    6. I got prescription drysol from my dermatologist in high school. certain dri also made a difference. (Don’t use together!) You have to follow instructions and be cautious bc you can get very irritated but very effective

    7. If you go to a dermatologist, there’s an RX called Qbreza that stop sweating. There are mixed reviews online but I love it. I get lots of irritation with drysol and certain-dri that make those super annoying to use (certain dri gives me something like a chemical burn). The wipes are way cheaper than botox (botox is like $800-$900 quarterly because it’s so many units), I get the wipes for $50/30 day supply. I find the towelettes are very large so I cut them into thirds and store in an airtight container and apply every other day.

      1. My mom was a pharmacist and used to see these rxes a lot. She thought it was a good product.

  8. Has anyone ever had a BI-RADs 4 mammogram (that turned out to be something that looked like DCIS but when biopsied was not cancer) go back to being a BI-RADS 0 or 1 in following years? I usually go in the summer (so scheduling now) and last year it found up being a bit of an adventure.

    FWIW, if you need an MRI-guided biopsy, I was able to find a med school professor explaining how it went on YouTube and it was really helpful for me to watch as mental prep for what was coming. Everything is on YouTube now.

    1. Yes – I did.

      Mine was a particularly worrying BI-RADs 4C with more than a 50% chance of cancer. MRI guided biopsy was fine – no cancer. Just had a mammogram last week and the BI-RADs is back to 1 (normal), as was with my last screening MRI. I have a genetic mutation that increases my breast cancer risk so I get mammo/MRI every year.

      BI-RADs 0 means the test result was incomplete, so a score of 1 is ideal.

  9. In 2026, is it unreasonable to interpret an “onsite” job as providing some flexibility and possible opportunity to work from home 1-2x a week? I applied to a job that is about a 50-minute one-way commute. I can come in multiple days a week and any day that is needed, but I don’t want to come in 5 days a week each and every week. This came up in recruiter screen, and recruiter acted like I did a bait and switch. This is for a senior level attorney role.

    1. Not unreasonable. A 50-minute one-way commute every single day is insanity for a lawyer in 2025 when VPNs, Zoom, and shared online workspaces exist. It can and should be the working assumption that those jobs are hybrid unless explicitly stated to be “mandatory in-office five days a week,” which is your sign to run far, far away. I’ve never met a company with mandatory 5 days RTO that also respected me as a person.

      1. On the flip side, I’d take my current setup: 37.5 hours/week and NO MORE, fully in person but flex hours (core hours of 9:30-2, otherwise choose your hours btwn 6am and 6pm) over a job with 45+ hour weeks.

      2. I agree with you that mandatory 5 days in office for attorneys is unreasonable and insanity, but the reality is that there are lots of companies that are aiming for 5 days onsite. They do not care that your commute is 50 minutes, that’s a you problem. It may be stupid, but that doesn’t mean it’s safe to assume that “onsite” means “hybrid” because onsite 5 days a week is stupid and unnecessary.

        1. It is not insane to expect in-house lawyers to keep the same schedules as everyone else at the company. What a princess take.

          1. You appear to be confused. You appear to think that if someone is working from a location other than the office, they are not working. That is false. You can keep the same schedule as everyone else even if you are not in the same location as everyone else. I hope that clears it up for you. And at least in my company, everyone else gets a hybrid schedule or is fully remote.

            It’s really absurd to call this a “princess take” when you don’t even understand the take. Or, you’re just engaging in a bad-faith strawman.

      3. I agree with what you’re saying, but I would still interpret a job posting that says onsite to mean that it is fully in office.

    2. Sorry I think you’re being unreasonable. If you could work from home 2 days a week it would have said “hybrid.” Onsite, to me, means 5 days a week in office.

      1. +1 I was interviewing last year and every “onsite” job expected 5 days in office with occasional work from home for things like a sick kid or a plumbing emergency. “Hybrid” is the word for what OP is describing.

    3. I’d take onsite to mean fully onsite. If it was a hybrid job the posting would say that.

      A job may be fully onsite with one off situational telework, but no regular TW (my current situation).

    4. I feel like it’s unreasonable to expect but it’s a reasonable ask re flexibility, especially after an making a strong initial effort to be in-office to ramp up and meet people.

      If the culture is in-office, one group getting flex privileges often doesn’t go over well on a company level. Different companies are IMO very different.

    5. If the posting says “onsite” then assume the expectation is 5 days in office. It’s reasonable to ask whether there’s flexibility for one-off situations. But if you asked to work from home every week I can see why the recruiter is annoyed. If you require a hybrid position (which is totally fair in 2026) you shouldn’t apply to onsite roles.

      1. Agree. It seems weird to interpret “onsite” as “not onsite 20-40% of the time” and if OP did that, I can see why they are annoyed with her.

    6. I think that you just have to ask. On-site for some means 5 days. Hybrid for some means in 4 days and Fridays at home. Rightly or wrongly, there is just so much variability in interpretation and intent these days. That being said, I do think that “onsite” in a post generally means exactly that so when applying to those roles you should assume as much and just be pleasantly surprised to learn if there’s more flexibility than 5 days in the office.

    7. Reasonable to ask. But the answer may be butt in seat culture and I wouldn’t expect that to change for you.

      1. +1
        Even if they say they’ll make an exception for you, it’ll hugely stymied your growth at the company of everyone end is butter in seats (with a SAHW to boot)

      2. +1; onsite means onsite, at least until you have figured out how to meet their expectations.

      4. You can ask, but I would not be overly optimistic. I would assume it means 5 days a week in office.

    8. I asked for the flexibility to come in at 9 am instead of 8 am, 2-3 days a week, for a fully onsite role, so I can take my son to school. The company said no. My view is that I was upfront about the reasons and it didn’t work for me, so we can each go and find a better fit.

      Remember, recruiters work for the company and not you, so they are pushing you to make themselves look better to their client.

    9. At least it’s not on-site + mandatory company polo or shirt and black pants of your choice with black shoes. Even for management and non-customer-facing roles.

    10. If it’s an attorney job advertised as onsite, it’s onsite, and the flexibility means that you can leave early and come late. The industry is swinging back to 5 days in office and I hate it. I interviewed for a job that was “hybrid” and it was four days in office with some fridays. I declined. That’s not hybrid.

    11. I’d consider it a negotiation point worth raising in the recruiter screen. That’s literally their job. It’s not like you waited until the final round. However, I do think there’s a clear difference between “in office always”, and “flexibility because life happens” and “3/2 every week”, the last of which it sounds like you asked about. Those are very different policies, and so I think it may matter how you framed it.
      Personally, I would run away from a senior level attorney role with no flexibility, and I am very much in favor of “in office” – I am here every day unless I have a reason not to be, such as an appointment or a kid thing, or whatever. But the idea of not having any flexibility at all at a senior-level role would be a non-starter for me.

      1. +1 this is the recruiter’s job. They’re off base to be upset about a discussion on this point on their screening call. It’s fine for you to ask, fine for them to say no. It’s fine for either of you to decide not to go forward based on this call.

    12. Unreasonable to interpret “onsite” as offering WFH 1-2x days per week? Yes, that is an unreasonable interpretation.

      I do, however, think it is reasonable to ask about and try to negotiate for the flexibility you want.

    13. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask, but it is a little unreasonable to interpret it that way. “Onsite” means 5 days in the office expected. What you’re describing is hybrid. Whether or not jobs should be onsite vs. hybrid is a different debate, but that interaction might give me vibes as an interviewer of someone who either didn’t read the JD or thought they should get preferential treatment. (Obviously, it also depends how you ask. Saying something like “What are norms for working remotely around doctors’ appointments?” or “what are the typical core hours the team is together in the office” comes off very different than “can I work from home when I don’t have in-person meetings?”).

    15. Typically job postings that may allow regular WFH 1-2 days a week would say “hybrid” instead of “onsite.”

      I don’t think the recruiter should have acted like you did a bait and switch, as it’s perfectly reasonable to confirm the company’s policy. But I would not have assumed that “onsite” means 1-2 days WFH is a possibility, or likely a possibility.

    16. The genie is out of the bottle, and job postings need to be clear on this. If it’s fully in office, the posting should say so. Am in Silicon Valley, and most postings are clear, including if WFH is 2 or 3 days a week.

      No, I don’t think it’s strange to expect or ask for flexibility.

      1. Just reread and saw “onsite.” Yes, it’s fully in office and they were clear. I’d pass, companies pushing this when they don’t need to, would not be great employers.

        1. In this market you’d be crazy to pass because you have to go to an office, that is the most childish reaction and economically out of touch.

          1. Come on. Not wanting to devote an extra 2+ hours of your day to going to an office for no good reason, including all of the logistical challenges and sacrifices that entails, is not “childish.” WTF does “economically out of touch” mean? Does it mean “haha serfs, the job market favors employers and you’re too dumb to realize it?”

            You’re probably the boss demanding everyone come in so you don’t have to lift a finger to send an email and you can instead yell across your desk at your subordinates.

          2. Yes, it means that this is an employer’s market right now and if you need a job you’re an absolute idiot to pass because you’re too lazy to go to work.

          3. But if someone is able to get a job that’s WFH, wouldn’t they be an idiot to accept less? This just doesn’t make sense.

          4. WFH is still working! That’s what the “w” stands for: “work.” Or are you under the impression that a lawyer cannot do work unless the lawyer is in the office? That’s interesting, because I’m sure you’d expect a junior associate to log in after hours from home if staffed on a deal or case headed to trial. Hmm.

            Why on earth do you have SUCH a grudge against people who rightfully call out 5 day RTO mandates for the BS they are? You don’t even try to defend them, you just insult people. What’s wrong with you?

            PS – people look for jobs even when they don’t “need” one. 5 days in office isn’t an attractive offer. You’re not going to bully anyone into believing that it is. “It’s an employer’s market so we can treat you like crap, hahaha sucker” isn’t the selling point you appear to think it is.

          5. I passed on an otherwise great job because it was fully in office, and I would have had a much short commute than OP. No regrets. I ended up with something that paid more and had way more flexibility. Even in this economy, plenty of people are able to hold out for something better.

          6. LOL at characterizing not wanting to sink unpaid hours into commuting for no purpose when there is a viable alternative as being “too lazy to go to work.” What a joke.

      2. I think onsite is pretty clear that it is fully in office. Hybrid is the usual terminology for 1 or more days of WFH.

    17. It’s 5 days in the office. If you’re lucky, they’ll be flexible when you have a doctor’s appointment or someone coming to fix something at the house, but I’d assume that’s limited to 1-2 times a month not a week.

      Sorry, have been in the market for an attorney role in the last year and have seen this a lot.

    18. no, onsite is onsite. it’s hilarious that you thought you could just WFH 2 out of 5 days… people used to have to fight tooth and nail for flexibility like that. it’s only since the pandemic there was any flexibility at all in this.

    19. OP here. Thanks for all the responses! My original phrasing was imprecise. I should have asked, is it unreasonable to apply for an “onsite” job (with no elaboration) when I know I would not take a job that requires 5 days a week in office? I am not criticizing the company for what it wants. I am annoyed at the reaction the recruiter had when I clarified that I am looking for some flexibility due to the long commute (I may have said one or two days from home as an example but certainly did not demand it).

      1. Fine to apply but you’ll be wasting your time if you think employers are going to grant you hybrid when they say onsite. I’d apply if you can live with flexible hours and occasional days working from home (for doctor appointments and the like, not routinely).

      2. Don’t worry about the recruiter’s reaction. You need to find out if this job is a good fit for you. It’s a two-way street.

      3. I love that you applied and gave the recruiter feedback. The more of us who do this, the more likely it is that companies will realise how much talent they’re missing out on by being adamant about 5 days in office.

    20. Yeah, you’re the one who is wrong here. If they meant hybrid they would say hybrid. Words do in fact have meaning.

  10. For those who are mid 30s or older and single, what is your housing situation and how do you keep it within your budget?

    I live in a MCOL city where both the buying and rental markets are insane. Almost all of my friends are partnered and cohabitating. I’m not opposed to a roommate, but I’m certainly opposed to a random roommate. I don’t need anything fancy, extra updated, or nice amenities. I just want an apartment in my budget that doesn’t make me feel perpetually 25!

    1. This is why I bought a house. Rent was going up more than my salary, so I used a first-time home buyer program to provide down payment assistance. I made sure my mortgage/purchase price aligned with my rent at the time. It’s probably gone up about $300 in a decade (with property taxes). I didn’t really want to have a roommate either.

    2. Couple of ideas:
      -working with a broker. Not all places are advertised, and brokers can help you , however you really have to lead with your budget, and be very realistic.
      – roommate. Is there someone in your current network that you think you could live with? You’re looking for responsible and reliable.

      Also, it’s not what you asked but my one real estate regret is that I didn’t buy sooner. Living in a VHCOL city I psyched myself out of options. The reality was that I could absolutely buy a condo on my nonprofit salary with good credit. It might be worth talking to a real estate agent that works with first time home buyers.

    3. I’m 41 and single. Ever since I left university I refuse to live with a roommate. I live in a city with an insane housing and rental market (Canadian city that has some of the highest real estate in the country). I can’t afford to buy. The solution is I live in a tiny one bedroom that costs like 40% of my pay. Not ideal, and maybe a little embarrassing, but I’d rather be alone and happy than married with a house.

      1. That sounds so cold and transactional. Maybe I’d marry for the right house . . . I have definitely gone through more than enough squirrelly roommates and sharing walls with people who were complete lunatics, who seemed to communicate by screaming at each other drunk on various nights when I had to be at work and function (so maybe that is why I didn’t really want remote work — the less time in those places, the better).

    4. I rent a 1 bed/1 bath in Manhattan. It’s crazy expensive, but it is what it is. I don’t want to live with a roommate, and can afford not to so I choose to prioritize this in how I spend my money. Most people I know move further out to afford their own apartments (e.g. outer boroughs or suburbs), but I do have 1 or 2 friends in their mid-30s who still have roommates. Buying a place on my own in Manhattan is totally out of the question for me.

      1. NY housing is another level of crazy. Think you can afford the payments based on price? WAIT — there’s maintenance also. Waaaaah.

    5. Almost 50 and living alone is the most important factor. I will live in a tiny unit or without a dishwasher or far from my preferred neighborhood, but I will never live with a roommate. But starting my career in Manhattan probably made me more accustomed to a small place than if I had worked somewhere else.

  11. Favorite lunch bag? I don’t bring it every day but would like something somewhat professional but I’m also not pretending that it’s not a lunch bag, if that makes sense at all… I’m currently carrying a yeti bag that was free to us and it’s so bulky and awkward as it’s super structured and has a top handle that’s not really on top – didn’t think I could have strong opinions about a lunch bag but yeti ain’t it!

    1. I had an ello bag I got at Target and really liked. It somehow disappeared and I’ve just been using a Lulu bag because I haven’t seen a new ello color/print I like.

    2. I have an inexpensive plain black neoprene soft lunch bag with integrated handle that I like better than anything more structured that I’ve ever tried. The brand I have is “Built.” I use it almost every day and it has held up well for 3-4 years now.

      1. These are popular in my office, too. OP – I suggest a color or pattern so you can more easily tell yours from the others in the office fridge.

    3. I feel like everyone just brings their lunch containers for the week in a grocery tote.

    4. I like the Fit and Fresh totes. Have seen them at Target, though not lately. I was not a fan of the Built NY neoprene bags. They didn’t fit my containers well, so the shape was always awkward and stretched out. I prefer something that stands up a bit more.

      1. Their “insulated mini totes” just came out and I just got one for my new lunch box. They are a good size for a lunch box and very colorful (which can be a positive or a negative depending on your viewpoint). They are also selling out quickly (I do not get the Trader Joe’s mini tote craze.)

  12. if you started taking anti-anxiety medication as a kid, do you wish your parents hadn’t put you on it? or is there something you wish your parents had considered before seeking medication for you?

    2. To be honest I wish my parents put *themselves* on anxiety medication when I was a kid, lol.

      2. I’m already on meds…lol, and have been in therapy, but one of our elementary age daughters was in therapy, graduated from therapy, but then rebounded less than a year later. we have her back in therapy and have been trying to support her in managing her anxiety. she so quickly goes into fight or flight mode, that i think it is sometimes hard for her to implement what she has learned in the moment. we are obviously consulting her therapist and a reputable psychiatrist (who is actually very very very conservative in her prescription approach). i just dont want her on this board in 20 years complaining we ruined her life by putting her on anti-anxiety medication.

    3. I was already in my 20s, but I absolutely wish I’d been more thoroughly worked up medically. Sedatives sedate (although paradoxical reactions are the worst), but I had underlying conditions that my medical team initially completely overlooked that were treatable. I haven’t had anxiety attacks since they were addressed. The lab work primary care did was so inadequate, and psychiatry did literally none(!).

    4. Are you asking as a parent considering putting a child on it now? If you are, do consider that the meds are different now than they were 20-30 years ago and better understood (as is anxiety in general).

      1. When I was young, they prescribed SSRIs and then blamed us for it if we experienced suicidal ideation as a side effect, even though the initial diagnosis was anxiety and not depression. Hopefully that’s changed.

    5. I really wish someone had diagnosed my AuDHD instead of classifying it as anxiety. Do I get anxious as a result of the AuDHD? Yes, but it’s not the same as GAD and I wish I had more support for managing the anxiety vs. a pill because that was easier to prescribe.

      1. Honestly with ADHD sometimes a pill will work wonders, but it still has to be the right pill! It’s still common for girls and women to be put on SSRIs or anxiety meds when ADHD is missed, and ADHD meds might have helped more. Sometimes the anxiety is just a home made stimulant.

        1. i’m the OP and my other daughter is combo adhd/anxiety. this daughter it is fairly clear (as clear as one can be for something that isn’t just diagnosed with a blood test) anxiety. DH feels like it is some kind of parental failing to have two kids on psych meds and i understand his perspective, but we also both have strong family histories of mental health challenges. and i agree that even with meds, they need the right tools to manage their anxiety, adhd or whatever it may be.

          1. With a strong family history of mental health challenges and ADHD in the family, I would be more, not less, concerned that the anxiety is secondary to something medical or genetic that has better treatments than psych meds.

    6. I wish my parents had put me on anti-anxiety meds as a kid. When I think back to how bad my anxiety was, even as far back as I can remember (age 4 or 5) my life would have been so much better if I had meds to manage the anxiety and I would not have missed out on a lot of things that I did miss out on due to my anxiety.

    7. On the other side, my child, now 21, sought a diagnosis and treatment for their anxiety as a first-year college student. Diagnosed as AuDHD and generalized anxiety. They have told me they wish we had done something for the anxiety sooner (in middle school) because the Lexapro made life so much easier.

  13. It stinks. I’m in-house and we are hiring for a fully in office attorney position. Our GC is old school and hates remote work. He knows that this requirement will eliminate good candidates and is willing to accept that. No one is asking for much – 1 day/ week, maybe 2 from time to time, and that still is somehow unacceptable to him. He is completely unable to articulate a valid reason for his opposition to WFH. The company has employees that are hybrid, some are fully remote, and many of our clients are remote from us. He wants to sit in the office on Zoom calls. He claims he’s all for flexibility for kid stuff, etc., but why on earth is getting to leave early and waste half your day in the car some how superior to simply WFH?

    I guess I’m just venting, but unfortunately yes, these people are out there, and they are irrational, and at least on some level, some of them know it.

    2. The market will push him. He will pay a lot more for the role, get a candidate that he isn’t excited about, or will have to bend.

      1. Or not. There’s a ton of lawyers on the market right now, the last people I’m hiring are the ones with picky demands.

        1. …. you cannot possibly think 1 WFH day/week or being allowed to WFH when, for example, you have a flight to catch or a doctor’s appointment is a “picky demand.” It’s just not a good faith response. I’m sure your team loathes you, just like we loath my GC.

        2. Okay. Some offices are aiming to hire the best, and offering WFH flexibility helps.

          1. Sometimes you don’t really need the best—you just need someone good enough who is at their desk when you need something done quickly.

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