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Tuesday’s Workwear Report: Flared Tonal Soft Knit Skirt

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A woman wearing a bright green skirt and black slingbacks

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

This verdant green skirt from Misook somehow looks both polished and incredibly comfortable. I tend to veer away from knit skirts because they can be clingy in the wrong ways, but the shape of this looks just right.

I would pair this with navy, cream, or camel if you’re looking for neutrals, but you could also grab this matching top for a full-on green look.

The skirt is $288 at Nordstrom and comes in sizes XS-1X.

Sales of note for 6/26:

267 Comments

    1. If you read up about who joins cults (not the same but similar) its not always people from rough backgrounds. Sometimes people from very stable families have a weaker BS detector and get swept up in things like this.

      1. Are we sure that this woman is a legit doctor? I get that she is hired as a med school prof at UW but I don’t see where she could have humanly really done a residency on top of all of the other things. I would not want her near my brain (or otherwise). UW is a real school, so now are they shady also?

        2. She actually has a pretty phenomenal CV. She is an Associate Professor in Neurology at University of Washington, with subspecialty training in Stroke and Endovascular surgery. And if that isn’t enough, she did additional Fellowship training in Palliative Care at Harvard and Computational Neuroscience at Cal Tech. She is clearly very smart. About some things.

        3. If they were talking about her going to Victoria’s Secret or med school, the Epstein tie probably helped with both. Leslie Wexner ran VS and was deeply tied to Epstein. It’s not so hard to think that the medical community higher-ups ran with that crowd or were wanna-bees who were eager to trade favors.

          The smart doctor women that I know were too busy for this much nonsense on the side. They had their hands full with FT med school, residency, and fellowships.

        4. I’m in the same professional circles as Melanie, and to a lesser extent, in some overlapping social circles. She is brilliant, extremely hard-working, and very caring with her patients. As an example, she took it upon herself to learn enough Vietnamese to communicate with Vietnamese-speaking patients. I literally do not know of any other physicians who have done this, beyond learning the words for “pain” and “hello”. If I had a loved one who needed the kind of neuro intervention that’s her specialty, I would definitely want her taking care of my loved one. She is an excellent clinician.

          I had a very close friend during residency who was being bullied relentlessly by some of the residents in the neurosurgery program. Melanie saw what was happening and went to the neurosurg chair, advocating for my friend and telling the chair that he needed to get a handle on this unacceptable behavior. She was very junior faculty at that time and did not need to stick her neck out, but she did, possibly saving my friend’s career.

          Though I can’t read the WSJ article linked above (paywall), I have read about Melanie’s ties to Epstein. It’s difficult for me to reconcile this with my firsthand and secondhand experiences with her. People are complicated and are capable of extraordinary contradictions.

          1. I’d beg you to read the article then. It is really eye-popping. Power makes everyone mad.

    1. MMLF used to make something like that. Maybe it is from the Fold? It is like what they sell if not theirs.

    2. The Belleville top from The Fold – sometimes dupes pop up in this design at a fraction of the $375 price point. Amazon used to sell a dupe for under $30.

      1. Pretty sure it is not the Belleville. The Clever Crepe at The Fold is much heavier and that shirt has a sash, normally. But there stuff is amazing. It’s the only work wear I buy now.

    3. i suppose it could be a tucked in belleville but i don’t think so, i always thought that was a more substantial fabric, almost like a jardigan kind of knit.

      boss, the fold, and mmlf all made wrap tops like this at one point…
      https://thefoldlondon.com/product/cosette-stretch-knit-top-chalk-blue/

      some of Kobi’s tops are similar too
      https://www.nordstrom.com/s/nellie-pleated-stretch-silk-top/8470401?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FAll+Results&color=444445HFYG

      I think MMLF’s was the Fey top or maybe the Antoinette
      https://mmlafleur.archiveresale.co/shop?productFilters=%7B%22Search%22%3A%22fey%22%7D
      https://mmlafleur.archiveresale.co/shop?productFilters=%7B%22Search%22%3A%22antoinette%22%7D

      but it’s a pretty common style if you google wrap blouses. bloomingdale’s/aqua has one, lilysilk, etc.

  3. There’s a good article in the Guardian today about how a majority of new AI data centers are being built in drought-stricken areas:

    “About two-thirds of upcoming datacenters, which typically require a large amount of water to operate, are set to be built in places that have been among the driest in the country over the past year…Large datacenters, some the size of small towns, can require up to 5m gallons of water a day, equivalent to the water use of up to 50,000 people, in order to provide cooling to arrays of humming networked computers.

    Overall, the multiplying datacenters across the US are set to demand as much as 73bn gallons of water a year by 2028, up from about 17bn gallons in 2023. Each 100-word AI prompt uses up roughly one 500ml bottle of water due to the cooling needs of datacenters, researchers have estimated.”

    In other words, each short AI prompt you use is like dumping a bottle of water on parched ground while local government pleads with citizens to turn off the faucet while brushing teeth.

    https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/jun/08/datacenter-ai-drought-water

    1. Isn’t DeepSeek supposed to be more efficient?

      I’m not convinced all these data centers are being built just so that AI can take our jobs. I think they’re finally trying to process data sets that were too big before AI could process them (and people should be concerned about privacy, free speech, and surveillance implications). Training AI on new data sources also uses more water than engaging with LLMs. I don’t think a LLM boycott would change much.

      1. I’d have less of a problem with processing data sets than I have with people using ChatGPT for literally the simplest stuff.

        1. Are we even able to avoid? It pops up each time I use Google but I’m not requesting it and not clicking on it.

          3. Yeah this is the issue. Gmail, Google (I see the alternatives, those are a good idea), budgeting tool, Slack, password manager – just to list a few places I’ve seen it pop up recently.

          4. Right? Like I do not need AI help for writing basic emails and writing the Jin-basic ones is what they pay me for.

      2. Oh they definitely want AI to take our jobs. Good news is I’ll probably retire in the next 3-5 years, but I’m certainly worried about my kids’ jobs.

        1. The only way this works is if they lower standards dramatically. Generative AI is just not up to the task.

          1. Having been on the receiving end of basically any customer service, I think dramatically lower standards is not an issue the shareholders care one iota about.

          2. There’s no way that using AI instead of e.g. technical writers for documentation does not come back to bite somebody eventually.

      3. I’ve been wondering this for weeks since I first saw it here – what on earth does LLM mean in this context? I only know it as a Master of Laws degree.

    2. I’m wondering: who is being encouraged to use AI, who is being told to use AI, and who has a time/budget code for the time to learn it (or proof the results to spot errors before trying again). It’s like I’m a preceptor for the boss’s kid and I can’t complain and it’s not helping me, just taking my productive time and encroaching into my free time to get important things done (by me).

      1. Yes, but that’s what older generations said about learning to use calculators, word processors, smartphones – the list goes on and on. (My engineer father told me to learn to use a slide rule because my calculator battery might fail. I’ve had a long career in a quantitative field and I never used a slide rule).

        1. But those things worked and improved efficiency, instead of messing up constantly and creating more work.

          1. Originally they had lots of problems (like battery failures and clunky, primitive software). People hated learning to use them and they weren’t that efficient at first. They got better.

            Really, all the AI naysayers sound just like my parents in the 1980s and 1990s.

          2. It it were my job to train it, fine. But my current work takes up all of my time to work. Something needs to be offloaded.

          3. Survivorship bias is a hell of a thing. I promise there have been tons of hyped bad technology that people hated that didn’t ever live up to the promise and have been long forgotten.

          4. You can keep claiming that “AI naysayers” are just Luddites but where are you going to get your drinking water in 10 years?

        2. I am trying to learn a slide rule. It is delighting my grandfather to show me how they work. I kind of get it but the math I need to go for work is no harder than algebra, which I can do quite well in my head for estimating and on paper or excel for a number with precision.

          2. I wish I had a real abacus just for an hour or so to see how it works. I thought it was for counting but maybe you can multiply with it? I have no idea. I have a necklace with one as a pendant but suspect that even though the beads move, it’s not close to legit.

        3. Learning to use a slide rule teaches you about math.

          Calculators generate a correct answer so long as the inputs are correct. LLMs notoriously generate different, and diametrically opposed, answers when you, eg, change the status (gender, plaintiff vs defendant) of the person asking the question.

          Calculators never hallucinated.

          2. AI might improve if there are incentives to improve it. So far I see none. Just AI companies trying to shove a garbage product down consumers’ throats.

          3. Generative AI can’t improve because its flaws are integral to how it functions. This is also why all the improvements so far have been superficial. All they ever do is hallucinate. It’s buying into a sales pitch to think that hallucinations are a bug that could someday be fixed.

            Other kinds of AI and automation will keep improving if we invest in them. Right now, people keep using AI for tasks that can already be more reliably and efficiently automated, but the better tools have the tiniest bit of a learning curve or were never initially made available for free. It’s an education and tech literacy issue that people want the tool that works to be the tool you just have to talk to and don’t have to learn (for some people it is probably also a literacy literacy issue).

          4. Spot-on, 9:53. LLMs are garbage and the concept behind them (predicting what word comes next) means that they will never be anything but garbage. AI is much more reliable and useful as a prediction engine in other contexts, such as extracting data from documents that sort of follow a structure, but this technology is not as widely available. And business leaders are not thinking about how AI is most efficiently or effectively used. They are just telling their employees that they’ll be evaluated on how much AI they use, even if the output is bad and it takes longer than just doing the task.

        5. I’ll add that “efficiency” isn’t a neutral positive in all cases — reading and writing, for example.

          When we import a profit-driven ideal like efficiency into classrooms without thought (as EdTech is currently pushing and many districts and higher ed is jumping on to prove their cutting-edginess) then we lose a lot.

      2. are you kidding? they’re putting it in every browser and every program and every google search because they want everyone to use it. everywhere. there is no regulation. there’s a good rant in Hacks about this about how we’re shoving it down our throats and we all say it’s inevitable but it’s because the powerful people are choosing this.

        use it or dont but i really don’t think we can stop the tsunami coming our way.

    3. I’m no fan of AI data centers, but since this is a shopping blog, try comparing the water used on a single purchase of anything.

        1. It’s just math. If someone wants to moderate water usage, they have many, many options.

          1. But the issue here isn’t simply individual actions to moderate water usage. We’re talking about actions by corporate entities that have massive environmental consequences and consume massive amounts of environmental resources. Investing in resource-intensive infrastructure, especially without adequate public input or protection of public resources, implicates an entirely different set of questions than actions taken by individuals.

          2. I don’t disagree; I just think that moralizing individual actions is probably a distraction if, no matter what individual actions I take, corporations will invest in resource intensive infrastructure anyway.

      2. Consumption of animal products is infinitely worse than AI (don’t come at me, I don’t do either). But AI is an ‘easy’ target which doesn’t require lifestyle change, it’s just feel good words.

        1. Society has also not been dealing with the fallout from AI data centers for centuries like we have with cattle ranches. AI is a new scourge being foisted upon us.

      3. AI and fashion isn’t two distinct spheres, though. A single purchase fast fashion item is very likely to have had some “help” of AI.

    4. My law firm is all in on AI, mandating its use so we can be ahead of the curve and meet “client demand,” but I see no current value to my practice. It’s making me question leadership judgment.

      1. In the law, the real value is in understanding what the other side is doing with AI and being able to counter it.

      2. Same. I use it occasionally but I don’t see it taking the place of an attorney any time soon.

      1. “Importantly, Ren, the person who came up with the “ChatGPT uses a bottle of water per prompt” estimate, now agrees that while this was a reasonable estimate at the time, the actual water cost of GPT-4 was likely much lower, at around 15 mL per prompt, and only 5 mL in the data center itself, as opposed to a 500 mL bottle of water, and since then AI models have become much more energy and water efficient. So no one researching this, including the person who came up with the original statistic, actually believes that chatbots use a whole bottle of water per prompt anymore. This statistic needs to go away. The actual cost of a chatbot prompt is about ~200 times lower.”

  4. I have a new pair of leather sandals for work that has a smooth footbed. My foot is sort of sticking to the leather, and it’s making an awful noise as I walk. I hate to ruin a leather footbed with a sticky liner or something. Is there anything to make this better? Of course I didn’t notice this problem until I’d already started wearing them, so it’s too late to return.

    1. You could stick something like leukotape to your foot (but it is very grippy). I’d stick moleskin to the ball of the foot area of the footbed.

    2. The Birkenstock subr3ddit covers this topic with respect to the smooth footbed styles. Here are some suggestions:
      baby powder
      a small piece of sticky moleskin or velcro (soft side, not the prickly side), although you don’t want to use adhesives
      loosening the straps so your foot can slide more easily

    3. Perhaps moleskin on the parts your feet make the most contact with would work.

    4. Look for “Summer Soles”. I used them for this exact problem. They’re very thin suede textured fabric (thinner than actual suede would be), and stick nicely in sandals. The adhesive is effective, but also will come off without residue/damage when you want to remove them.

  5. Are there worthwhile services that review resumes for a fee? Has anyone used one and seen more response from job applications because of it? Do they specialize in different industries? Because I don’t need someone to review for typos, ya know? I want to make sure it’s the best resume it can be for my field. (Government relations)

    1. I think you are better off doing a Google search on your own. Or looking for job-specific subs on R*ddit. I was referred to some type of resume service when I was laid off and I got better information doing research on my own.

      I work in a tech-adjacent field and I use keywords from the job description in my resume and quantify my accomplishments as much as possible.

    2. Use AI. No one is reading resumes anymore but you need to have one to apply. Customize yours to match the JD exactly so it doesn’t get bounced and use your network to get an actual introduction to the company. I know there’s a strong anti AI bias here, but this is how the world works today. Feel free to rail against it and scream at the sky, but don’t let your feelings get in the way of getting a job.

        1. Unless you mean it’s actively helpful for a resume to sound like an AI wrote it, even if that means it has strange issues and tells?

        2. Good for you but this is literally how recruiting works now, people are building AI agents to scrape job postings and automatically applying with custom resumes. I’m sure yours is better but no one is going to read it. The key is to apply and not get immediately rejected so you can use a contact to get an interview. The game has changed and a resume no longer does what it used to.

          1. PS – you’re better off putting that energy into your LinkedIn profile, which a human will actually look at if you do get an interview.

          2. This is old news though; custom resumes using keywords from the job posting aimed at getting past automated resume review was a thing before ordinary people knew the word ChatGPT.

          3. Sigh, yes and no, the level of customizing has changed and the lack of review has changed. It’s no longer the place to spend your energy, networking is.

      2. As someone who hired recently, I would be careful. So many people do this, especially with the “match to the JD” part, that they end up having extremely similar wording on the resume. Use it to help for sure but don’t use it blindly.

    3. There are a number of people on LinkedIn like Sam Struan who both provide free guidance and do review resumes for fees. I would find someone who is specific to your industry.

      I will agree that most of the people I know who are using AI to help are asking it to analyze their resume to the job description and asking it to make suggestions. If you set it up in some kind of project, it will reference the documents you provide it for recommendations.

      There’s no certainty on what gives more response. I talk to job seekers a lot and some get interviews based on referrals, others are getting them from cold applications. The common rule right now is 6-12 months to find a job.

    4. I used a paid service for reviewing resumes for lawyers. Met with the person — who was herself a lawyer who stopped practicing— for about 30 minutes and we discussed what kind of jobs I’m applying for and clarify some details about my experience while she live-edited my resume. It came out much much better than I started it. I only applied for one job and got an interview and was hired so it had a 100% hit rate. I had sent her my draft resume and the job posting ahead of time for review. It cost about $250 and I would happily pay it again.
      I work in government and we are currently hiring and do not use AI to review resumes. Other agencies or positions may be different.

  6. Pet peeve of the week: When people send you emails that are obviously ChatGPT written. I’m talking about 1-on-1 emails, not like group announcements. There is a difference between edited a bit by chatgpt and written in a way that no human actually writes. Also, if I know the person, I know they definitely don’t write like that. I can’t really do anything about it but I wish I could call it out, so just ranting here instead.

    2. This has turned into a verb in my office a la “ugh she totally copiloted me – give me a break”

    3. I commented about this on one of the other recent threads but people who use AI to replace all thought and all writing are probably quadrupling their dementia risk. Your brain isn’t meant to go dormant in your 20s or 30s.

      1. I think it’s the other way around and people with brain fog and other cognitive issues have been early adopters of AI. There’s a reason this took off during a pandemic.

    4. I take it as a sign of friction and I’d probably pick up the “phone” and talk to the person. They’re likely trying to be careful about what they’re saying and that’s a block to getting things done. I would resolve the conflict.

      1. Fascinatingly this person refuses to get on the phone. When they don’t use AI their emails don’t have any punctuation or capitalization. I tried to get on a call the moment I saw the AI-speak because that is just not productive.

    5. I’ve even noticed this on people’s Facebook posts! It is so bizarre. You have never talked like that, Julie, and you’re usually the queen of the run-on sentence, so I know you didn’t write this!

      1. I saw a piece somewhere that talked about how people who have long put effort into being good writers are now assumed to be using AI – so basically anyone who can string a grammatical sentence together is suspect.

        1. I totally get that concern but that isn’t what is happening here. There is a type of very polished corporate speech that has some overlap. That is more what I mean by editing is fine – very polished, whether its by a writer or AI is fine. This has logical inconsistencies and also very stereotypical writing that a human does not use. Also, this person is not a good writer.

        2. I am that person. I have honed my craft for more than two decades. I really hope nobody assumes I’m using AI! Unfortunately, I have always loved the em dash, which is now assumed to be AI.

          2. Same! Plus even the format I use for conveying legal advice in emails is the same format that legal AI uses (headers, strategic bold font, bullet points). I worry my credibility will wane as people cannot differentiate between AI’s writing and judgment and my writing and judgment.

        3. this! a colleague said he is now intentionally more curt in emails so that he doesn’t get suspected of writing them with AI.

          1. I’ve found that LLM sycophancy has made me feel easily irritated by what were probably intended as social niceties. And I think it’s just not me, since I’ve also had people react negatively to polite engagement because it was perceived as insincere, even though I feel that I’ve also cut back on the niceties!

        4. A while back on here I posted a comment that got accused of being ai written. Sorry not sorry that I have always strived for grammatical correctness, used em dashes, and early in life training in writing to head for threes still holds (like I just did here).

    6. Is there any polite way to say “please dont send me AI generated BS that doesnt answer the question I asked”. I am the client and this is a vendor.

      1. “I think my question is being misunderstood (perhaps by AI). Can you let me know X?”

        I don’t know that you need to be all that polite.

  7. If you have seasonal allergies like grass, what have you found makes the biggest difference?

    1. Per my allergist, I take Allegra at night and Flonase in the morning from St. Patrick’s Day until Halloween. I also shower before bed so any pollen/outdoor business is not stuck to me and my sheets while I’m sleeping.

    2. Combination of zyrtec and rhinocort (budesonide) nasal spray. Flonase doesn’t cut it for me.

    3. Staying ahead of symptoms instead of chasing them (this means starting meds before allergy season starts, not after noticing symptoms). Also the right meds (they’re not all equally effective and the side effect profiles are really different for me too).

      Limiting exposure does help too (saline rinse and masking really helps with sinuses; eyes are still an issue, and I haven’t been willing to try eye protection, but I bet it would help). This can also include washing hair, changing clothes, and running a HEPA filter indoors so indoors is a low allergen place (or at least our bedroom so we have a low allergen place to sleep).

      1. DH also says staying on top of meds is key, once it’s all angry and red it’s harder to get back to comfortable.

    5. Acupuncture. I still take an occasional allergy med but they work much better and I need them much less than I used to before doing regular acupuncture for the problem.

      1. Interesting. My husband has a contraindication for allergy shots/drops, and every year it feels like his tree allergies get worse and less controlled by other meds. Maybe this is something worth trying.

    6. Allergy meds starting in February and going through Thanksgiving
      Avoiding early morning outdoor activities (pollen is more prevalent then)
      Avoiding post-rainfall outdoor activities (again, pollen is thicker)
      Showering before bed
      Keeping windows closed
      Changing the furnace filter every month during pollen season
      Vacuuming with a clean filter and/or bag
      Bathing the pets regularly
      Laundering clothes after each wear

  8. My husband and I are spending a long weekend in August at a mountain home in Deer Valley with his most important client. These are really fancy people who are always dressed flawlessly (not lawyers). My day to day style is work from home, athletic mom. I rarely go on camera or see clients in person. I would like to look polished for the trip, and can spend up to $1000 to get ready. I think I’m covered for the adventure parts of the trip (I have nicer technical gear from skiing and running, so I’m covered for hiking and “touring”), but I have huge wardrobe holes for all the other “stuff” we’ll be doing.
    Recommendations for brands/outfits for —
    (1) Pool/hot tub lounging
    (2) Chef meals at the house
    (3) Nicer restaurants out

    And I’m stumped for the mornings? We are sharing the house, so do you just not leave your room until you are fully dressed with makeup on for breakfast? The idea of sharing a house with clients is kind of tripping me up (I certainly don’t have any clients I want to see before morning coffee, but this is a big business development opportunity for my husband….). We’ll have lots of room for ourselves, but obviously meals will be shared in a common area.

    1. This is Jenni Kayne territory and white summer. I’d do cream jeans, cream sweaters, white dress and skirt, some elevated tops. Take real gold jewelry and good sandals. Shop La Ligne and Alex Mill too.

        3. PPS – if you’re not flying, avoid taking a suitcase and pack a tote instead. Rolling into someone’s vacation home with a roller board is just not great. Can’t be avoided with flying but can be with a car.

          2. Huh? How is a “roller board” a problem? (I thought it was roll-aboard, describing the action that you do with it) Does it indicate that you aren’t so rich you never have to carry your bag, and therefore appreciate the rolling function? Will it ruin their floors? Will it baffle the staff? I look forward to the answer to this so I can avoid this faux pas on future trips.

          4. JFC, why I bother explaining is beyond me. But I will to help you avoid a subtle faux pas (check my spelling if you’d like). When people show up with “rollaboards” at my vacation home it’s rough on the floors. It is not a hotel with industrial flooring that can take that kind of abuse. It is a lot to take into a home and is seen as rude. It looks like you’re moving in and don’t know how to pack a weekend wardrobe. I would never say anything to you IRL but it’s an irritant and you’ll never see people who know better making this mistake.

          5. I’m not who you are replying to but I appreciate this point. Now that I think of it seems wrong to use that on the floors of someone’s home. Like if shoes are gross dragging the wheeled bag is very gross.

          6. Um, please ignore this person who is saying don’t take a rolling suitcase. That is not a real problem or concern you should have – that’s called being too afraid to exist as a normal person! Take whatever (appropriate) suitcase you have – not the time for a Hello Kitty tote, obviously.

          8. You can feel free to ignore me but I’m the client hosting OP and her husband. Maybe learn something?

          9. I’m more amused at how you’re SO convinced that rollerboards are a massive faux pas that you’d actually throw “JFC” into one of your very first responses to an innocent question. Did a rollerboard hurt you?

          10. The JFC was in response to the snarky person who called me uneducated for not spelling “rollaboard” correctly. It’s just such a rude response when I’m actually trying to help the OP.

          12. I take a rollaboard everywhere but have never wheeled it across someone’s floors, whether primary residence or vacation home. You wheel the bag up to the door of the house but then carry it to your room. I thought that was very standard?? The wheels get so gross from being outside.

          13. “Rollaboard” is a genericized trademark like “frisbee” or “band-aid.” There is no such suitcase as a roller board.

        4. I would not come out in PJs. This is what athleisure is for. Friend trip, sure. Professional networking trip, no way.

          1. I’d send my husband to do recon, but almost always on trips like this, people are in PJs.

          2. Agreed. Maybe this is regional? Even on trips with my friends or family, I’ve never seen anyone wear PJs or robes in public, i.e. outside of their bedroom.

          3. I’m OP, and I looked at the Lake PJs and they are SO cute….but (and this is just me), I immediately felt “ick” imagining being seen in them by any of my clients. So, I’m looking at a new Vuori set. Also, this particular set of fancy people are also exercise people, so I imagine they will be up early, getting those reps in. I anticipate we will be more likely to cross paths at breakfast post-workout than everyone in PJs.

          4. Clarifying bc my last post wasn’t clear — I think I just have the “ick” at being seen by anyone who is not in my immediate family in any kind of PJs or robe. Definitely a “me” thing. As I’m thinking about it, I will also only be using the toilet in our room, which is far away from literally everyone else in the place.

            And I do feel like I see people with soft weekender bags, but I cannot swing that. I am mindful of not rolling in with a ton of luggage, but we are all flying, so I doubt I’ll be alone in the luggage department.

          5. It’s not just you. I wouldn’t wear PJs in this setting either. Athleisure for the win.

      2. I love this aesthetic so much, and I do not have the lifestyle to support it. Sigh. My weekends look more REI than Jenni Kayne.

    2. I have a strong robe game. Robe must be thick vs drapey. Pajamas from Katie Kime.

      Sue Sartor for dining activities.

    3. My recommendation would be to pull out your suitcase and pack your bag. Pick a single color theme (maybe whites, creams and browns) and decide what is missing. I’d get new basics from Old Navy (t-shirts, shorts, etc – I’ve gotten several pairs of the white denim shorts for $15 each). And then I think what really makes someone look/feel polished is the grooming, so I’d get your nails done (very short, very neutral gel builder nails or short acrylics and pedicure – $150), hair done ($100), new makeup ($100), and then any new accessories (maybe a gold tone watch, gold hoops, etc). I’d also budget to go get a blowout on day 1 of the trip so you have cute, bouncy hair.

      1. just to clarify — spend the money on personal grooming, accessories and just refresh anything basic inexpensively. And of course if you need a new pair of shoes for dinner and a new dress, then you have some cash left over to do that.

      2. OK sorry, last thing, Athleta has an ADORABLE underwire bikini on sale right now for $22 with high waisted bottoms (also $22). That would be perfect for the hot tub.

      3. These are really good tips, thank you. I just scheduled a blow out and full nails for the day before we leave. Being fancy takes a lot of time.

        Thank you all for the specific brand recommendations, as well. I literally have never heard of any of them, so I’m very thankful I asked.

        Since you guys are killing it….what purse should I buy for this?

        1. Are you really going to be comfortable trying to mimic the fancy people? I think if you show up with all new things, it will be obvious. Unless you don’t already own anything nice, you don’t need to get all new stuff.

          1. Yeah, I will be. In my former life, I was a litigator with a V5 law firm, which required all the fancy clothes and client meals and associated stuff. But my clothes from that time period are dated and made for a different body type, and I’m just out of practice, as my daily life right now looks very different.

            Also, for most of the day, I’ll be wearing my usual clothes, I just need to elevate the evenings and mornings.

            This is a really important opportunity for my husband, and also, I’m not mad at the chance to supplement my wardrobe. I do see that my budget is low, but I can get pretty far with maybe two dresses and nicer pants. Looking at the online pictures, I have some Lily Pulitizer neutrals that I can use as well.

        2. A purse is going to blow your budget, but if you want low end but still prized by fashion types, get Clare V.
          Also, Arizona big buckle birks in gold are very popular in resort areas. Look up Jess Graves for more ideas.

          1. Break in the birks at home before trying to wear them for more than a brief stroll! Also, I know the big buckle are popular right now but they look clunkier than the original buckle. And the Madrid or Catalina style is more feminine.

          2. Agree with breaking them in, but the big buckle is the current look, not the other styles mentioned.

        3. For my lifestyle as a mom, I’d probably pick a new Lulu belt bag (again, cream colored) that you can take hiking/for those adventure activities just as easily as going for a casual stroll. I keep saying new here because I think if things don’t look ratty and stained, that automatically makes you look more pulled together. And then if you had the budget left over, either the Polene numero neuf (around $500 if I recall) or a small Strathberry crossbody ($300-$450). I also think the Coach cassie 19 is fantastic (chalk, discontinued but you can find it new for under $200) but it comes with too many straps, so only use it as a top-handle or a shoulder bag on the trip, and then once you’re back it’s a great crossbody.

      4. Fancy people don’t wear acrylic nails. Get a regular manicure or Dazzle Dry. They also don’t wear cheap watches.

      5. I have never been to Utah, but my recommendation is the exact opposite of this.

        Do not show up with acrylic nails, professional makeup, a blowout, and Old Navy. The first three don’t last beyond the first hike, and the Old Navy is not appropriate for chef-made meals or fancy dinner out.

        I would get linen or silk clothes that fit perfectly, a manicure with clear polish, and a fresh haircut. Consider buying new bra or two if you haven’t gotten one recently.

    4. I’m going against the grain, but you need to be yourself. Obviously don’t bring any clothes or shoes that are ratty or dated, but wear styles you’re comfortable in and wear your normal makeup or just one step up. (For example, I’m terrible with manicures so I’d personally skip the polish since I always chip it. Neat, clean nails would be my style and I’d make sure I was groomed well but nothing out of my usual style.) I don’t think $1000 would go far if you’re trying to mimic the clients’ style anyway.

      1. Disagree. This is a big deal for her husband and she shouldn’t be Steve in the corduroy suit at the corporate dinner.

        1. More like a teen awkwardly wearing her mom’s wardrobe if she follows every suggestion here

          1. And some of the other suggestions? Ridiculous also at the low end. She can do better than Old Navy white shorts

          2. Hardly. Sometimes people just don’t know where to go shop. If you only read here you’d think Ann Taylor was the be all end all.

          3. Yikes… looks like someone doesn’t understand the concept of high/low. I hope the clients are far less catty than the people on this forum.

      2. I agree with this. People can tell when you’re not being authentic from a mile away.

        1. OP said nothing that suggests this isn’t authentic to her, she just needs a clothing refresh. If you don’t know where to shop, maybe just read?

          2. Eh, that’s usually my comment but she can fill in a few wardrobe gaps for a weekend on that budget. And if she’s aiming for 1k, she probably has room to go up.

    5. For mornings / (1), this is what nice athleisure is for. There is a ton of nicer loungewear on the market. I regularly take 10+ hour flights where clients/competitors are often on the plane and there are a lot of outifts that are comfortable but nice enough to be seen by work people. Athleta is my usual go to but Old Navy also has a few things in this category. I got a matching knitted set from Gap that would work really well for mornings here and I get a ton of compliments on

    6. OP, Athleta linen pants (the wide leg style, in black) are kind of amazing for dressing up or down. That’s a purchase that may give you a lot of bang for your buck. Looks equally good with a tank top or something more formal.

    7. Bring a sun hat. The temperatures will be lovely but the sun is very intense. When we were there last summer, members of our group went out with tank tops and no hats because it felt so good outside. Their sunburns were legitimate.

      2. Yes I think it’s something like the UV index goes up by about 10% for every 2,000 feet of elevation gain. So if the UV index is 9 at sea level (which is common in the summer) it’s over 12 at 6,000 feet elevation. 12 is about the intensity of the sun on the equator and even darker-skinned people can burn quickly in that kind of sun. Pale people will get absolutely fried.

    8. We have friends who are fancy like this, and my best advice is to make sure you have the right category of clothes, in good condition, that feel like “you”. The brands that folks below are recommending might be good fits, or they might not–it depends on who you are and what you (are) like. A major challenge for me in this category is that I’m still figuring out how I like to dress this iteration of my body, which is significantly different after having kids than it was before.

      For breakfast, I’d probably try to get some athleisure or loungewear (joggers) I felt good about and in good condition–my experience is that this feels like it fits in if others are in their PJs, and isn’t totally mortifying if they’ve dressed. I’d want a bathing suit that I liked, either a pretty staid solid color that I felt fit well, or a pattern or color I was really excited about for myself. For chef meals at the house, I think jeans or pants with a top that feels put together/intentional (there’s a lot of range here) would be fine, and probably only go a bit more elevated for nicer restaurants out. Not sure if you’ll be going into SLC or eating in Park City, but my experience is that neither has really been an extremely dressed up place.

    9. I am not a fancy person, but this is what I’d bring from my actual closet to blend in as well as possible without looking like I was dressing up in a costume. My entire wardrobe is neutrals + pale blue, all solids. To me color and prints read as less high-end unless you can somehow nail the White Lotus resort look, which most un-fancy people cannot do on their own.

      Pool and hot tub: Ruched black one-piece from J Crew.
      Long black tiered gauze dress from Anthro for a cover-up.
      Around the house: J Crew linen drawstring pants, Quince linen drawstring shorts, ribbed Michael Stars tank tops, Rag & Bone crewneck slub tee. Waist-length boxy cotton cardigan in case of chilly evenings.
      Dinners out: Black, white, or navy linen midi dress. Maybe a fancier dress depending on the restaurant.
      Shoes: Big buckle Birks, a daintier sandal like the Margaux Flat Sandal for dinners out.
      Bag: Clare V Honey Pot and/or woven Moyen Messenger.
      Jewelry: Dainty silver necklace, maybe a “stack” of mismatched dainty silver bracelets, a more sculptural cuff bracelet for dinners out.
      Breakfast: I’d bring a pair of Lake pajamas but would probably wear workout clothes the first morning to gauge the vibe.
      Nails: Short and neutral with regular polish.
      Hair: Roots freshly colored. A fresh blowout if that is something you can sustain.

      2. This is the vibe. And honestly, some good condition but broken-in attire is better than all new items.

        1. Agreed — this is a really helpful packing list, and the newer pieces from JK and La Ligne I just bought will mix in well, color and aesthetic/vibe, with the existing pieces I’m bringing.

    10. Take this with a grain of salt that I have only traveled with clients that I see in a hotel for breakfast, but I would change before breakfast. Even sharing a house, I wouldn’t want to be in my pajamas with clients. Now, I don’t think you have to have makeup on, but even nice pajamas read too familiar to me. I also always take a one-piece swimsuit because again, I don’t want my clients to see my entire body.

    11. Jeebus, this thread is really affirming that I hope I’m never invited to anything with “fancy people.”

      1. People are overthinking this big time. If I got invited to one of those weekends, I’d let my skiing speak for itself and make sure my clothes were clean, appropriate, and fit well. The exact brand doesn’t matter so much as the overall vibe you give off.

        1. I wish we were skiing!! My actual most expensive clothes are my ski clothes :) Alas, we’ll be there in August, and it will be a rafting, hiking, dining kind of weekend.

          1. Have so much fun!! Being a willing participant in the activities on offer will go so far. Also, in my experience rafting with some extremely rich people, many are incredibly down to earth and you would never know how much money they have.

    12. Thank you all so much for the thoughts, ideas, and discussion. It’s really helpful. Even looking at some of the designers has been helpful to see what a capsule for this weekend will look like, and I agree it’s important to be authentic.

      So, I do have some rarely worn pieces that will fit my navy, light blue, and white palate (white sweaters and a white shell from Lily that will work, along with blue and white linen tops from Ann Taylor that do not fit the post-run, kid sport sideline vibe I’m usually rocking), and I’m adding a really beautiful V neck sweater, the Simone, a sun hat, and the laze sandals from Jenni Kaye, along with the Baldini dress, babs top, and Colby linen pant from La Linge. The Colby pant looks to have a bit more structure than the pair of LL Bean linen pants I currently wear.

      Also, I’m rounding out with a straw tote, a straw clutch, and some simple gold bracelets/hoops from Jcrew factory. Since we’ll be in the mountains, my vast collection of navy fleeces and merino layers will work here too. I still need to find a black athleisure set I’m comfortable wearing around clients, but I’ll probably go try that on in person bc I’m picky about how running stuff fits me.

      All in, I suspect I will spend a bit over $1,500 on new clothing, but I’m really excited about the new pieces, which I can wear for date nights too. I rarely if ever buy new clothing anymore (my running stuff is good quality and all work horses), so this was a needed exercise. I’ll re-up my makeup supply and do the hair/nails, which I wasn’t mentally adding to the budget, since I do those things anyway.

      Thank you all! That was fun :)

      2. I would be cautious with Lilly–it is more of an east coast/southern vibe than a western mountain one. I definitely wouldn’t wear anything that was obviously Lilly in cut or print.

        2. 100% – the Lily stuff is a heavier cotton pure white sweater and a nice all white silk shell, both of which are nicer fabrics but won’t be obviously Lily. They will layer well over the new Colby navy linen pants I just got. I’m not really a “print” person.

          The blue richelieu embroidered midi dress from Farm Rio has been on my list for a while….

        4. I’m in mod for using real names, but I agree on the Lily stuff. It’s all pure white, though, and just is the right fabric and weight (heavy white cotton sweater and nice white silk shell).

          My family are big skiers, and my brother and his wife live out west, and it does help that we’ve spent a lot of time in mountain towns seeing the vibe. agreed that anything obviously LP or Tnuck doesn’t hit quite right.

        5. she said it is a white shell and sweater from lily. i’m sure that is fine. some tuckernuck pieces are very SEUS but others are very classic

      3. If you can, I’d hit Vuori, Varley, and Anthro for a set and a flowy sundress for dinners out. Farm rio is great. Otherwise this seems like a job for tuckernuck.

    13. I would not wear pajamas to the breakfast table. Wear some kind of comfy athleisure, vuori sweats, etc. I don’t think you need to be fully dressed as if you’re going out for the day but face washed, hair neat, etc. You need a bathing suit and a cute coverup. For chef meals at the house, I’d wear a casual dress with flat casual sandals. For nicer restaurants, slightly more elevated dresses with wedges or some other shoe. I agree you probably can’t get a new purse or jewelry with this budget, so I’d wear basic jewelry you already own. If you have nice friends, might be an opportunity to borrow a cute clutch to bring to the restaurant dinners. For the rest of the time, you are probably better off with a tote.

    14. If you don’t have one already, I would invest in a single lightweight but quality sweater or cardigan that can layer over all or most of your outfits. Lounging in the mountains (even in August) can be chillier than one would think, especially in the evenings. Lots of other great recommendations. Definitely be yourself and true to your style (even if you are elevating it), and figure out what wardrobe gaps are most important to fill.

    15. Take a look at LPC Amid Privilege – she’s retired now but she wrote a lot about how she came from a big Old Money family and you’ll get a sense for her vibe. My richest friend who doesn’t work wears things like Alaiia dresses and has an incredibly strong caftan game (Trina Turk? Not sure.). Oh and I remember a story in the WSJ describing how stylists buy certain things in multiples for their richest clients so they have them at every house, including the Max Mara Teddy Bear coat. Not recommending that but some of the brands might be worthwhile just to get a sense of the aesthetic. Do your hosts have social media? You can maybe look through them to see what kind of things she’s wearing, then you’ll know if she’s a wears-all-white kind of rich lady, a maximalist boho rich lady, or something else. Honestly I think you’ll be fine with whatever you choose but get a blowout if you can and get your nails done even if you keep them naked. Moisturize well. Get your lashes done (in a subtle way).

      gift link to the WSJ article – https://www.wsj.com/style/fashion/luxury-shopping-bulk-multiples-houses-1251300f?st=UWPLUK&reflink=desktopwebshare_permalink

  9. I love the tory burch ballet loafer. I need the shoe a tiny tiny bit wider in the toe box. Leather stretches but not quite enough. Ideas?

  10. How do you talk to kids about putting a pet to sleep? Our elderly cat has significant health problems, and I think we will need to put her out of her suffering this week. My kids (5 and 8) are very sensitive, so I don’t intend to have them there, and I don’t know whether to tell them about euthanasia or just tell them she passed in her sleep. They will have lots of questions either way.

    1. If your kids are very sensitive, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with telling them the cat passed in her sleep. It’s true and nuance can always be added later. Let them love on her and make sure they say goodbye the morning of the appointment.

      We had to make this decision regarding our dog last month and we have a nine-year-old son. We told him the night before the appointment that we had to say goodbye-bye. He wanted to come to the appointment so we said our good-byes in the room and he and I waited for my husband in the waiting room. It was a good compromise for him as he asked to go. I wouldn’t have let that happen if he didn’t ask.

      This did open up a lot of conversation about this being the hardest thing about being a pet owner, that our sweet dog wasn’t enjoying life the way he should be, we didn’t want him to be in pain, and that we made the decision with the vet.

      It’s heartbreaking for everyone involved and I’m so sorry to hear that your family is going through this, too.

      1. For better or worse, this is what we did. Our beloved lab hated the vet, and I hated the idea of taking her there to be put to sleep. So, we did it at home, with the kids present. Our kids were 8, 6, and 2. She ate a ton of bacon, then we all sat with her and petted her while they administered the medicine. We were honest with the kids. We told them that her body did not work anymore, and if she lived in the wild, she would already have died. Then, we gave very simple explanations and answers: “The vet will come, and give her medicine to help her fall into a deep sleep where she cannot feel anything. Then, the vet will give her medicine that will stop her heart from beating, and she will die shortly after that. She will not feel anything, and she will be next to her favorite people in the world when she dies.”

        It was really hard, but my dear friend is a grief counselor – and she says kids, especially, are so sheltered from death and grief. I don’t think I fully appreciated that until I realized how often I found myself using a euphemism for death, and having to stop and say “die” or “death.” The kids seemed grateful to have been part of it, and other than my child loudly announcing to our entire bus stop that I killed their dog, they all have really good memories of the experience. Eerily, even our 2 year old got it – and she kept trying to tuck her most beloved stuffed animal in with our dog as they carried our sweet dog out of the house. It still makes me tear up — she *knew* something was up, and kept trying to give our dog this animal that she NEVER would part with.

        1. All of this, OP.

          My mother had my beloved dog put down while I was in class. I knew it was imminent, but didn’t know the day. She didn’t want me to be there because I was “too sensitive” and I still despise her for that to this day.

          1. I’m the one who posted above you, and our decision to involve the kids also was informed by my hurt that I was not allowed to be with our dog when she was put to sleep. I read a heartbreaking plea from a vet many years ago to stay with your animal while they are being put to sleep, and I don’t have the guts to ask my parents if they stayed with our childhood dog or not. I suspect I know the answer, but I’d rather not “KNOW” it for sure.

    3. are you religious? your church office might have pamphlets or things like this about grieving and loss. your vet’s office might also.

    4. There are good books for kids addressing this. The 10th Good Thing About Barney is one I like.

    5. You can be honest without going into all the specifics. “Our cat is old… she is dying and in a lot of pain right now. We need to take her to the vet so she can sleep comfortably as she passes. We need to say good-bye.” I’m so sorry that you have to navigate this difficult decision, and I wish you and the kiddos the very best as you prepare for loss.

  11. Has anyone with a heavier BF or spouse felt actually crushed by them? My top ribs where they meet together on the front of my chest are really sore and I cannot figure out what else it could be. It’s slightly right of center and I’ve had no seatbelt jerks from car crashes, etc. But it is that level of sore (but without neck pain) if you’ve ever had a seat belt grab you.

    1. No, but if i’ve been holding or carrying something for a while, even if it’s not tiresome in the moment, will show up that way later on.

    2. I have a heavier DH but never, ever feel this way. He’s very cautious to avoid this. Maybe you need to have a discussion with your partner? If the soreness keeps up, might be worth a trip to the doctor too.

    4. Was there an actual crushing incident?

      Is it possibly pleurisy?

      Or cartilage inflammation? My kid has this; it is how viral infections manifest for her.

      1. Is the BF/spouse a new person? B/c if not it sounds like you might have some other issue. I walked around with what turned out to be pneumonia that I thought I just had a lingering cough/chest pain until DH told me something was clearly wrong and it was doctor time.

    6. How in the world . . . Like, what kind of inconsiderate gardener is your giant BF if you’re actually being crushed.

  12. I posted last week about how my crummy self-esteem these days is possibly affecting my relationship with my husband. We sorta had a talk about it last night, and he broached the topic for once. My body image is especially bad after gaining 20 pounds seemingly overnight at age 41. BMI is 29. No health issues other than being overweight. It’s been four years, and I have not been able to lose the weight even after making solid efforts. I’ve made several comments lately about GLP-1s, and he asked me if I’m being serious about that. I said that I wasn’t sure yet, but I’d thought about it because I’m tired of being self-conscious. Then he surprised me by saying that he thinks I look great but I should consider it if my body image is affecting me this much. There’s more to the story, of course — I’m stressed and I’m burned out, so it’s no wonder that I’m not able to lose weight very easily. I told him that I’m not even sure my doctor would prescribe it, and he said to have the conversation anyway and see where it goes.

    I’m very conflicted. I go back and forth between thinking I just need to get over it and accept myself as I am, imperfections and all, and wanting a quick fix (yes, I said it). It’s not really something I’d want to be on for a lifetime, so wouldn’t I just gain all the weight back eventually?

    Am I overthinking this?

    1. Also, I’ve tried all that lifting heavy stuff that’s being sold to middle aged women right now. Strong is good, but injuries are not. And I fear that it’s just added more muscle below a layer of fat that I can not shed. In other words, I know lifting is good for my help but it’s done jack-all for my appearance.

    2. Seems like a million people are not overthinking using GLP-1s. Use an online doctor if you think your GP won’t be on board. In terms of using it forever, that doesn’t seem to be a universal experience so don’t avoid it for that reason.

    3. Why not treat treatable things? Same goes for stress and burnout in my opinion. If a sports coach would have you on a rest regimen and a B complex, you probably need at least that much for your life’s demands. Something caused the weight gain, so address it.

    4. Yes. 100% overthinking. I’ve lost 30 pounds on grayish market internet trizepetide from Ro. I don’t care if it’s cheating or throwing in the towel. My life is better. It doesn’t revolve around food, hunger and self loathing anymore.

      Also, fine with me if people think I’m “cheating.” Other people milk every system to their advantage and have my whole life. No one blinked if people used study drugs or got extra time on their exams for “adhd.” Because everyone who has ever procrastinated a task or gotten bored with the drudgery of working or studying had adhd in law school I suppose. No one cares if you drag your mangey yapping dog to the grocery store because you saw a profoundly disabled person and got jealous and now your pet is a “service animal.” No one cares if you use ai you can’t be bothered to cite check while billing big firm rates at the most prestigious law firms in the country. You don’t even lose your job for that. Point is, I think almost everyone is cheating in much more morally corrupt ways. A somewhat legitimate provider is allowing this and I’m not hurting anyone but me if it’s stupid. Everyone who judges can back off. I’m sick of doing everything the hard way and having nothing to show for it.

      1. Are you ok? You don’t sound like you’re at peace with your decision at all. No one said anything about cheating the system. We’re all happy your meds are helping you lose weight.

        1. The “throwing in the towel” was literally taken from a poster wringing her hands about her relatives taking these drugs. Not everyone, even here, is happy for those of us losing weight like this.

      2. Sounds like you have internalized lots of shame and judgment about weight gain and loss as functions of self-discipline and morality. There is nothing immoral about using a drug to lose weight. But it’s not true that everyone else is cheating in morally corrupt ways, though. You don’t need to tell yourself that everyone else is cheating or acting immorally to give yourself permission to take a GLP-1. Bodies are not all the same, some people have a much harder time losing weight than others for factors that are totally beyond their control. There is nothing per se immoral about using tools to achieve results, or choosing a means to achieve a result that feels “easier.” We do tons of things “the easy way” (I don’t agree with framing GLP-1s as the easy way, but even if you did..) and don’t attach moral judgment to it. What you do with your body affects no one else. Weight loss isn’t a zero sum game, or any type of competition at all. Just give yourself permission to take care of your body in a way that actually works for you.

      3. I get it, anonymous. You forgot the big one though: nobody asks a White man was a diversity hire, so I don’t give a f if I’m getting some tiny amount of extra visibility anywhere.

    5. I’m in a similar situation (BMI 31), and my approach was to bring up trouble losing weight to my GYN and GP, and both immediately said “I’ll write you a referral to our weight loss clinic to discuss medication.” I had that appt with the weight loss doctor last week, and I’m going to start taking a semaglutide shortly.
      For me, it’s worth trying – realizing it may not be magic and there are symptoms that could make me stop using it. I also realize I’ll have to be very attentive to my eating when I’m on the medication, so this doesn’t solve all my problems. But I also feel like in my mid-40s, I’m starting to get aches and pains and minor ailments (reflux, etc.) that certainly aren’t helped by being overweight.

    6. You are overthinking it. But it’s not because any of your points are invalid, it’s because you keep cycling around and around instead of making a decision. For myself and my values, I’m probably never going to get on a GPL-1. It’s expensive, I don’t want to keep up with it forever, and I have mostly lost significant weight when ill, so gaining weight actually feels good to me (given that I have always been pretty active). But you have a different calculus! It’s clearly bothering you a lot right now, and something has to change. Take any easy win you can get right now, recognizing that it doesn’t have to be a part of your life forever, you’re just looking to get some momentum.

    7. ok, i am also 41. i recently when on a GLP-1 with the support of my doctor. i went on the lowest dose for 4 weeks, lost like 10lbs, then didnt use it for a month and maintained that loss/kept losing, then i took two more shots two weeks in a row and now it’s been another few weeks since then. i am down 19lbs since i started. i do realize this is probably not how i should be using the drug. however, once i lose 5-7 more lbs i plan on stopping and maybe using a shot ocassionally as needed. im trying to use as little as possible as infrequently as possible bc i reacted very strongly to it and could barely eat and had no energy, which also didn’t seem healthy. as we all know, it is much easier to maintain than to lose and i feel like im training both my brain and my body

    8. One thing that stands out to me in your post is that it feels like you gained weight seemingly overnight. This is the description that I keep hearing about weight gain in peri. It wasn’t there and suddenly it is. In addition to people’s thoughts about GLP-1s, I suggest it’s time to see a GYN who specializes in menopause.

      I also say go with the GLP1. It’s not cheating. (I say this as someone who has been thin my whole life because, at least so far, I got lucky genes). Feeling good about yourself impacts everything else in your life.

      1. And you’ll feel good about yourself when the world treats you better. People treat thin women better than heavier women. That’s the truth.

        1. People keep repeating this as truth but I’ve never noticed any difference whatsoever between my higher and lower weights. I guess there was one time that some guides assumed I was less athletic than I was, but I’m not sure if that’s because I was the only woman in the group or because I’m fat. I otherwise have seen zero difference and have no problems interacting with people or getting what I need from service providers.

          1. I’m glad this is the case for you though I can guarantee it’s not a universal experience.

          2. That’s not my experience. At all. Everyone wants to talk to skinnier me. My ideas are given more weight professionally. The class moms are less snobbish and somehow notice my outfit- heavier me was also beautifully dressed, btw. My mother in law doesn’t feel the need to lecture me on fiber and protein and “toxins.” People smile more. Life is just 100% easier in ways I never appreciated until I gained the weight and got treated like garbage.

          3. Not my experience, either. At all. People are definitely much much nicer to smaller me than they were to bigger me.

        2. Holy cow I’ve noticed a difference. Mostly you just sort of disappear. The only positive difference is that bitchy women treated me better when I was fat.

        3. OP here. Not sure if this is relevant, but I would say most reasonable people would describe me as average sized. I can’t say I’ve noticed any difference in how I’m treated now vs. 20 pounds ago. So is this a problem that’s inside my head? IDK.

        4. I hope none of you gets old (whether thin or not). When you’re old you are irrelevant. And trust me, even with botox, hair dye and other interventions, people know you’re old. On the flip side, it’s pretty liberating to disappear and do whatever the heck you want.

        5. I don’t think you’ll feel good about yourself even if the world does treat you differently. Confidence and insecurity issues can affect anyone – takes more work than just losing pounds.

          1. I don’t think we have to say that people are insecure and lack confidence whenever the way they’re treated gets to them.

    9. Musing that a lot of the GLP1 discussions are reminding me of when Prozac came out. There were definitely people who thought it was “cheating” to use it instead of doing therapy or analysis. Will be interesting to see if GLP1s follow the same trajectory to acceptability.

      I am about 7-10lbs heavier than I’d like to be (top of the “healthy” BMI), and don’t think GLP1s are worth it for me (although never say never!), but I kind of wish my partner would consider them. He could stand to use probably 20-25lbs and is really struggling and unhappy with his weight.

    10. If a friend told you they were tired of being self conscious and have been trying for 4 years to lose weight, what would you tell them about trying GLP1’s?

      Try it and see if it helps.

    11. Just do it. It’s a miracle drug. Skip your doctor and get it online. So much easier. In a month you’ll feel 1000x better and in six you’ll wonder why you hesitated.

    2. i assume this is about AI and same! I hate that anything with em dashes is now AI-coded.

      1. I don’t think ALL em dashes are AI-coded, just the weirdly triple long ones without spaces on either side—like this.

          1. My response got eaten…

            I’m talking the AI tell that is a word-dash-dash-dash-word, like this—with no spaces. As opposed to an actual em dash — like that. And not a hyphen – that’s different.

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