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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
We’ve talked before about work-appropriate T-shirts, and I think this one from Universal Standard is a great option.
For my two cents, the perfect work T-shirt has to fit perfectly, be totally opaque, and have enough of a sleeve that you can wear it without a sweater or blazer on top. I’ve found that the Universal Standard tees check all three boxes, and this square-neck version gets bonus points for jazzing up the neckline a bit.
This would look perfect under a blazer with small pendant necklace.
The shirt is $50 at Universal Standard and comes in sizes 00–40.
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Sales of note for 11.5.24
- Nordstrom – Fall sale, up to 50% off!
- Ann Taylor – 11/5 only – 60% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 25% off with your GAP Inc. credit card
- Bloomingdales is offering gift cards ($20-$1200) when you spend between $100-$4000+. The promotion ends 11/10, and the gift cards expire 12/24.
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Fall clearance event, up to 85% off
- J.Crew – 40% off fall favorites; prices as marked
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 60% off clearance
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Up to 30% off on new arrivals
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Buy one, get one – 50% off everything!
- White House Black Market – Holiday style event, take 25% off your entire purchase
Sales of note for 11.5.24
- Nordstrom – Fall sale, up to 50% off!
- Ann Taylor – 11/5 only – 60% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 25% off with your GAP Inc. credit card
- Bloomingdales is offering gift cards ($20-$1200) when you spend between $100-$4000+. The promotion ends 11/10, and the gift cards expire 12/24.
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Fall clearance event, up to 85% off
- J.Crew – 40% off fall favorites; prices as marked
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 60% off clearance
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Up to 30% off on new arrivals
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Buy one, get one – 50% off everything!
- White House Black Market – Holiday style event, take 25% off your entire purchase
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Curvy khakis?
Super picky question. Anyone have a recommendation for curve-friendly khakis for a size 12/14? I love the high rise slim straight Levi’s 724 cut in a 31 long. If they came in a khaki color that would be my ideal. Thanks!
pugsnbourbon
Old Navy has tons of chinos, some in tall sizes.
Anon
I got my kid some at Gap Factory that were too long her her at 5-7 but most talls fit her fine. She has my giant hips, so curve-friendly even if not labeled as such.
pugsnbourbon
I think ON has some curvy fits, I know GAP does, and I also think Aerie might?
Anon
I’m not familiar with the Levi’s, but I am a curvy 12/14 and have a few pairs of these and like them. https://www.talbots.com/relaxed-chinos/P201016075.html
Anonymous
+1 to Talbots, I have some of their relaxed fit cargoes and love them. Curvy 12.
Anon
Talbots.
Anon
Has anyone ever successfully manipulated their credit score?
I’m trying to bring mine up, since we plan to move (buy a house) in the next year or two. My score hovers around 750 with the deciding factor always being “your revolving utilization is too high” meaning we spend too much on our credit cards. We spend ~$2500 a month on CCs, but that’s our entire monthly expenses, including utilities. (We put almost everything on cards to get cashback.) We have no other debt, no missed payments, no defaults or any other blemishes.
My credit union rep tells me getting it above 800 would get us the best rates. Should I ask for a CC limit increase, to affect the ratio? Switch to paying cash for things, like a caveman? Ideas welcome.
Anon
I usually pay down my balance a few times a month to keep my revolving utilization low. I also put everything I can on my cards, I average spending about $300/week and every Monday I pay down $200 (across my 3 cards). I started this when I was 22, had one card with a $1000 limit (that I couldn’t raise because I made 25k a year!). Late 20s, score is usually high 700s/low 800s.
Anon
Yep, increase your limit, maybe get a new card. Check out credit karma to see other ways to manipulate it higher. The month or so before you actually shop for a mortgage pay more cash to keep that utilization low (although I didn’t the last time I got a mortgage and it didn’t make a difference to my rate, but this was my 3rd mortgage so that history matters).
Also, in my experience I got WAY better rates and service from a mortgage broker than a credit union, so when it’s time to mortgage shop – shop around.
Anon
A new card or new debt will usually lower your score.
Anon
+1 Opening a new card will temporarily lower your credit score.
Anon
But if you have 1-2 years before a mortgage it should be OK (it’s usually only a hit to your credit the first 3-6 months after you open a card). Based on OP’s follow up comments below, that’s not the issue here (lack of a credit history is) but it shouldn’t be a problem with this timeline.
Anon
I don’t use credit cards so this is my unsophisticated take. If upping your limit won’t impact your spending, go for it. Additionally, can you pay off your balance way more frequently? Like, if you currently wait until the bill comes once a month, switch to paying off the balance weekly to keep the utilization rate lower?
Sybil
It might require a combination of things to bump your score that much, but you can improve your score by paying your credit card in full BEFORE your statement closes. Our CC bill is anywhere from 2-3K/month, and I always pay in full. My credit score is over 800 but I’ve noticed that if I pay off the new charges before the statement closes, my next score is 8-10 points higher. So you’ll probably need a few other things. What’s your total revolving credit? I think mine is around 75K so we use about 5% of that on any given month.
Anon
OP here. Had to log in to check total revolving credit:
18.5k limit on the card I’ve had since 2003
12.7k limit on the card I’ve had since 2019.
Only have the two cards, a Discover for main use and a Visa for when places don’t take Discover. Haven’t seen a need for more. We prefer the simple cashback system rather than messing around with complicated points or miles.
Anonymous
Your average utilization sounds like 10-20% of your limit, so I’m surprised that would be the cited key factor in your score without more – particularly if you have accounts with >10 years in history. Have you gone through your full report with a fine-toothed comb lately to confirm no late payments? Other possibilities is that you don’t have enough other credit accounts with history (e.g., car or student loans), if these are your only two credit items…
Anon
OP here. It could be due to not having much else going on, that tracks. I’ve never had student loans or car payments. (I transferred to a cheap state school after two years at a community college, and we drive clunkers.) The bulk of our net worth is in retirement accounts.
Anon
OP here. It could be due to not having much else going on, that tracks. I’ve never had student loans or car payments. (I tr@nsferred to a cheap state school after two years at a community college, and we drive clunkers.) The bulk of our net worth is in retirement accounts.
Anon
+1 that doesn’t sound like it’s the problem unless your monthly expenses are super high
Anonymous
Yes, get a credit limit increase! I put all my expenses on my credit card (about 2k per month) but I have a limit of 20k, so my utilization is low. My credit pretty consistently hovers around 830.
Anonymous
just call any cc card company you have an ask for an increased credit limit. every time i do they up it by 10k or more.
Anonymous
Regarding the suggestions to pay your cards as you go during the month – check your local rules before you try something like that.
Where I live in Europe that might put you on shaky ground, legally, especially if it involves actually spending more than your limit. Even though you pay it back at once, it can be considered manipulation of the credit limit and whitewashing territory.
Anon
In the US this is not a thing. A lot of people I know pay their current balance once a week.
OP — start paying your balance a week before your “closing” date. The number that counts is the number that’s on your bill at the closing date, and whether or not you pay it off in full every month doesn’t matter. So if your bill is 3200 in January and 3100 in February, the reporting agency treats it the same whether you paid off 3200 and charged 3100 or if you paid off 100 and didn’t use the card otherwise.
Anon
Just don’t do anything too close to when you’d be getting a mortgage.
Anonymous
Yes. I pay the whole balance every month not just the amount due.
anon2
Does anyone feel like they have a harder time with exercise than others? I work out pretty consistently but still feel like I am s*cking wind every time, more than those who work out less than me (like my sister). Any thoughts? Anybody been able to overcome it?
Ellen
Of course! I walk over 4 miles a day, and my tuchus is still out of control. My sister is like your sister. She is svelter and has a personal trainer. I just keep on doing my daily routine and am hoping that I will be able to get back into a size 2 by the middle of the summer, b/c the manageing partner is having all of us out to his house in the Hamtons for a weekend in late July. I want to look good by then so am limiting the amount of sweets I eat already! YAY!!!!
Anon
Do you ever have your iron levels checked? (Even if I’m just slightly anemic I notice feeling out of breath when I exercise.)
Anon
I have low iron and thought I had Covid several times due to unexpected shortness of breath !
PolyD
I’ve never had great cardio ability – I get winded fast and don’t have great endurance. But what did help, somewhat, was when I started taking a gym class that alternated weights with short bouts of intense cardio. We used heart rate monitors and over the course of a few months, my recovery time (so, time to go from a high heart rate while exercising back to baseline) got shorter.
I was also taking a ballet class 1-2 times a week, which is a bit like a high intensity interval workout – we’d do center work in groups, so you dance for a couple of minutes, then wait while the next group goes, etc. And of course barre got the bodyweight moves in!
Anonymous
I have exercise-induced asthma and do much better with HIIT workouts than with steady-state cardio.
Don't want to blow my cover but this will do it
Get screened for Pulmonary Hypertension. It’s rare, but occurs in women more frequently than men, and many women are diagnosed in their late 20s and early 30s. Although there are things that cause it, or may make it more likely that you have it, there is also an idiopathic version. I was dx at 40 and my only symptom was shortness of breath when I walked up stairs. An echo is an easy screening tool if your doctor knows what to look for.
anon
Sounds like me. I can’t run a mile without sounding like I will collapse and this has been true since elementary school gym class. I’m otherwise healthy and not iron deficient. When I mentioned it to my GP this year, she prescribed a basic asthma inhaler for use before workouts. It works, but it makes me wonder why in 20+ years of regular checkups, nobody offered me an inhaler before.
Anon.
Yep – I was diagnosed with “exercise-induced asthma” as an adult and prescribed an inhaler. World of difference.
Anon
My symptoms didn’t quite warrant an inhaler, but montelukast has calmed things down a lot for me. Wish I saw a specialist sooner.
anonshmanon
DH has an inhaler but only uses it when absolutely necessary (which I guess is a very subjective distinction), because he is worried about developing a tolerance. I don’t know a lot about the matter, maybe it doesn’t apply in all cases. If you plan to use it multiple times a week for working out, that’s something I would research/consider.
Curious
Yep. I have to eat something with protein before exercising and after the first 45-60 minutes. My body just won’t do anything intense without it.
Anon
My understanding is that Alec Baldwin’s wife is not Spanish but maybe went on vacation there some. All of their kids have Spanish names. Now that she has been outed as Anglo, would their pending baby get a Spanish name to keep up the trend? An Anglo name? I went down a rabbit hole on the Rust shooting and it was a ride on the Baldwin family.
Maybe Kyler or Caaydyn or Braed’n or Madysyn are OK choices now?
Anonymous
I think she calls them Baldwinos sometimes. She’s insufferable.
Anon
The new one will definitely have a Spanish name. She still goes by Hilaria and hasn’t given up the Spanish act.
anon
That whole story is deeply hilarious (pun intended) to me.
Not the Rust shooting, obviously, which is terrible, but the whole Hillary/ia schtick.
Anon
And she has an accent. It is such method acting, or something.
Anon
It is truly a wild ride. “How do you say?…[points at cucumber]” is my favorite part. Girl, you were born Hillary Hayward Thomas in Boston to native English speakers and vacationed in Mallorca every summer. You know the English word for cucumber.
Anon
I literally will never not laugh at that video! So wild!
Uma Coltortina
The only reason she is anybody today is because she pretended to be someone exotic at a time she could easily pop out babies and landed Alex Baldwin between her legs! She succeeded at that at least 4 times with him and was truly in hog heaven spending his big paychecks. With this Rust fiasco, all of that may be in jeopardy, and if it turns out REALLY badly, Alex will have no real money left, and she will be saddled married to a rapidly aging dude with 4 kids all sharing space in a rented RV out in the dessert where they filmed Rust. I can’t feel too bad for any of them (other then the Kids), but you can see that what comes around goes around or whatever that expression is. No one is immune.
Anonymous
What sorry what?!? Another? Didn’t she just have a baby and then get a baby from a surrogate months later?
Anon
Yes and yes and yes.
Anonymous
Wildddddd
Anon
Yes. 7 kids under 8.
Anonymous
They gonna run out of money
Anon
The new baby seems like a questionable choice given that I think the Rust shooting will have an impact on Alec Baldwin’s ability to get work. I hope they have some real estate to sell or something, and they can sell it soon. Something tells me Hillary is not the type of mom who shops at Costco, clips coupons, and goes to consignment stores for the kids’ clothes.
Anon
For sure when he gets sued. Does she think this makes them judgment proof or something?
Anonymous
That is pathological.
Katrinka
Oh definitely still a Spanish name. She has never and will never acknowledge that she was pretending to be Spanish – her position is (and really, has to be) that everyone just misunderstood but she is Spanish deep down doncha know.
Anon
Is this like that woman who identified as African American?
Why hasn’t Hilario been cancelled? She is ridiculous.
Anon
Ah, Rachel Dolezal … forgot about her. I like how she sued Howard University for discriminating against her.
Anon
I don’t understand the urge of having so many kids. I think back on the Netflix documentary “Queen of Versaille”. When the family starts to fire their staff and nannies because they’re running out of money, the mother addresses the camera and said something that really stuck with me. She said: ” if I had known how much work it would be to take care of my kids on my own, I wouldn’t have had that many”. My cereal box psychology diploma leads me to think that the whole “Hilaria act” and having that many babies say something about how she has a hard time defining herself as an individual.
Anon
I have read that for some rich wives, the theory is that the more children they have, the harder they are to divorce because the child-support requirements would be so onerous for their ex-spouse. In Hillary Baldwin’s case I think it’s that, plus she loves attention and she’s gotten plenty every time she’s gotten pregnant/they’ve had a new baby show up.
All I can say is – Alec Baldwin is 64; Bruce Willis is 67 and has aphasia (and may actually have frontotemporal dementia) and will now not be able to work any more. Willis’ youngest children are 7 and 9 and will likely not have many memories of him as he was without the cognitive difficulties. No amount of money in the world can make up for losing a parent at a young age. I really don’t understand these men who are having children in their late 50s and 60s without thinking – hey, maybe isn’t the greatest ideas as I might not be around long enough to see these kids grow up.
Anon
The male ego is a helluva drug.
Anon
In Baldwin’s case he has been pretty open about the fact that he only had the kids to make her happy. Bruce Willis may have actually wanted more kids – before this tragic news he seemed like a pretty involved dad with the younger ones – but Alec seems like he was totally checked out from the first kid w/Hilaria and did nothing for any of his younger kids except pay the bills. I am not saying Hilaria is entirely to blame for the fact that these kids may lose their dad before they’re in middle school; I’m sure she didn’t deceive him into getting her pregnant and even if she did there are permanent male birth control options he obviously didn’t avail himself of. But I don’t really think he was the one driving the decision for more kids in this case.
Anon
My sister has too many kids (I love them but it’s true) and it’s all about her personal identity as a mother. She absolutely lives for people saying”you’re such an amazing mother!” and “I don’t know how you do it all!” I’m sure there’s some of that for Hilaria.
The kids’ lives growing up were/are chaotic, and the older ones have a lot of resentment now that they’re out of the house. She really expected the older kids to raise the younger kids – two of the older are No Contact with her now.
Anon
3 under 3, 4 under 5 etc is such a status symbol in some circles. It’s like you’re not a “real” mom unless you’re running around like a chicken with your head cut off chasing several kids in diapers. I only have two kids, and so many people say to me “Oh, if I’d stopped at two, I’d probably enjoy this whole parenting thing a lot more!” Uhhh so why didn’t you? It’s not like there’s an award for whoever can push the most babies out.
Uma Coltortina
What about that woman who had 8 kids at once a few years ago? I forget her name, but her nickname was Octomom or Octo-something else. I think she got a contract for reality TV, but never saw the show. I don’t understand women like that, and could never take the fertility drugs to give me 8 kids. That would be very unfair to the kids.
A
Octo mom had 5-6 kids before she had the octuplets. Insane.
Anon
Has anyone ever tried those push-in fake bangs? I hate bangs and don’t want to cut them, but it would be awfully convenient to have the option for when the recurring psoriasis plaques on my forehead get really gnarly.
anon
Eh, not sure about this strategy. If you’re only using the clip-ins intermittently, I think that would draw more attention than your skin. You can’t hide that the same way you might be able to with extensions.
Anon
I don’t care if people notice the difference, as long as the mess is covered.
pugsnbourbon
I know side parts are out, but what about a deep side part that kind of sweeps across your forehead?
Anonymous
I haven’t but if you do a search of #clipinbangs, you’ll find a ton of users on Instagram who probably share brands and tips. I follow someone with alopecia who uses wigs because I wanted to get a sense of what use might be like when I was diagnosed with cancer (thankfully haven’t had to do chemo, so it ended up being a needless worry) and I continued to follow her just because she was so charming. I’ve gotten a ton of tips on how to make wigs look more natural, how to properly wash and store, etc. If bangs are similar, you’ll likely want to get some thinning scissors to take the density down if you’re going with some inexpensive ones. And that’s how I’d approach it. Start with inexpensive synthetic, and if you’re pleased, then you may want to consider human hair. Human hair looks better and lasts much longer but can get really expensive (at least for wigs).
Anon
Expandable dining room tables—yay or nay? Thoughts? Experiences?
anon
YES. I am a big fan of ours. It seats 6, with the ability to expand to fit 8-10. It is super helpful when we’re hosting.
Anon
I’ve always had one and it’s handy for large group dinners if you host such things. That said, they are a hassle to put together and break down (at least mine is, it’s vintage, 1940s era) and you need a place to store the extra leaves (sp?) if you have that kind.
Anonymous
And to store the chairs. And dining chairs don’t usually stack well. We have a 4-6 person expandable that we keep permanently set up as a 6 because we don’t have space for 2 extra chairs.
OP
Oh this is such a good point! Stackable dining chairs….
Thanks all!!
Anon
Oh yes! That’s also an issue!
anon
My entire life the experience has been when the leaves go in, things get creative with whatever other chairs are in the house… or really, coolers, benches, stools…
Nesprin
Costco sells some nice wooden folding chairs. Those + a recent table with a neat self storing leaf== super simple
Cb
I’m currently on the hunt for a 4 seater round that expands to 6. We’ve been using a tiny IKEA table due to some house projects and it’s so nice to not have the room dominated by the table (we have to pass through the dining room to get to the conservatory/my husband’s office)
Anon
I love my round Ventura table from Room & Board
Anon
Yay, with the caveat that the extension should be the attached kind that lives inside (underneath) the mechanism. Having to take it out and store it separately is a guaranteed way to turn it into a chipped, banged-up mess.
anon
Yes. A butterfly leaf is what you want.
Anon
I do not yet have a dining room, but I have a table with drop leafs in my living room. My parents and other extended family members of that generation have always had expandable tables, they’re great for hosting holidays!
anon
Yay! I have a solid wood IKEA table that seats 8 and expands to 10-12. The two leaves are stored under the table itself, so it is very easy to expand and contract as needed.
Anonymous
Yes; being able to resize is also really helpful if you move. Our DR configuration changed a lot over the years and we kept the same table.
Anon
I would never consider a dining table without a leaf.
Senior Attorney
YAY. And my extra chairs live in the living room when not in use.
Anonymous
Any Denver area ‘rettes? I am considering moving to Denver from a Midwest capital city. I am early 30s, long term partner is in Denver, and we are sick of long distance. Open to things you love, hate, and/or wish you would’ve known when you moved there.
anon for this
I have family in Denver and wish we would have relocated there 10 years ago when we first thought about it. It’s a great city with lots of parks, tons of sunshine and easy access to outdoor stuff. The cost of living is HIGH, really high, and the traffic is terrible because it the roads were designed for a much smaller city.
Anonymous
Denver is beautiful, and I considered a move there at one point myself to be close to friends, but coming from Atlanta, I could not stomach how very homogeneous the population is. YMMV but I always get super uncomfortable in places like Denver. If you are in a Midwest city and that city is not Chicago or Detroit, perhaps that is what you are already used to and comfortable with.
NYNY
Denver is less homogeneous than you may think, but I’ve found it is very segregated. My husband grew up there, and it wasn’t until we had been visiting for years that I understood that there is a large BIPOC population.
I love the sunshine and access to the outdoors in Denver, but some big drawbacks are a housing shortage, limited public transit (although that’s improving), and the drought and wildfires that climate change is exacerbating.
Anonymous
Maybe, but an invisible BIPOC population leaves me feeling the same as a nonexistent one. When I get off a plane and feel like I am in a sea of white people I just feel uneasy. As I said, YMMV. I am white, but I live in ATL, so it just makes me uncomfortable
Anon
I can’t speak to Detroit as I haven’t spent significant time there, but Indianapolis actually feels way more integrated to me than Chicago (and according to Google, Indy has the same percentage of Black people as Chicago – 30%).
Anonymous
Piggybacking on this – we (family of 4, small children) are considering a move from a HCOL East Coast city in the next few years to be closer to family. I’m a WOC and the homogeneity gives me pause – I think it would take a little legwork but we could probably find a few neighborhoods there that are more racially and socioeconomically diverse.
Anon
Not exactly the question, but if things about Denver generally would make you reconsider the move for your relationship, should you instead be questioning he relationship? Seems to me that if you’re in the right match and Denver makes sense for that situation, you go to a Denver regardless of its pros and cons.
Cat
Or is the partner also considering a move to OP’s city and OP is just doing diligence on the Denver option?
Anon
What? Isn’t that a little 1950s? Wouldn’t it equally be a possibility that he SO might move to be with her?
Anon
I’m presuming that’s been ruled out for some reason. Just going on the OPs post.
Anonymous
Thanks for the concern! We both have great careers in our cities, but I have ability to work 100% remote and he does not. So we are both considering moving; but mine is more, “would I want to work remote and live in Denver” and his is more, “what kind of new job would I get and do I want to live in X city.” So both cities could make sense, but Denver is easier in some ways. I am asking because I want to hear negatives and think about whether, basically, I think I can live with that! This board has given great advice in the past and I figured there are some Denver/Denver-familiar folks who would give opinions that I may not hear from close friends (who are more vague, “you’ll love it!” or “I hate finding my way downtown from train!” or “won’t you miss monthly happy hour with your coworkers?”)
Anon
I have lived in Denver for more than 25 years. In order to answer your question, I really need more information about what part of town you are interested in living in (city vs. suburbs). Also, what are your interests?
The weather here is generally really good.
Anon
We’ve had several friends move to Denver over the past several years and the feedback has been:
– The state is beautiful and the city has many cool amenities, you’ll never run out of things to do
– In most areas, schools are pretty good (if you care about that) but reading reviews is important as there are many suburbs of Denver, and school quality can vary widely between districts
– Traffic is a nightmare and living proximal to where you work is necessary, unless someone likes spending hours in traffic
– The nature areas near Denver (within half an hour to an hour or so) are super-crowded on the weekends and not very relaxing. You have to go further afield if you really want to get “away from it all.” That being said, if you like the outdoors there are few places as wonderful and exciting as Colorado, literally anything you want to do outdoors (hike, mountain bike, rock climb, kayak/raft, backpack, etc.) is at your fingertips.
– Per the “homogeneous population” comment above, it’s very white (this is coming from folks I know who grew up in SoCal, Arizona or New Mexico and then moved to Denver
– The big fire that happened outside of Boulder and wiped out almost an entire bedroom community scared the crap out of several of my friends who live in the general Denver area. Despite what some pictures show, Denver is not in the mountains; it’s surrounded by grassland. Grass can catch fire and grass fires can move very quickly and destroy homes. Given the extremely dry winter the West had this year, and how dry winters are likely to be in coming years, I would think carefully about living too close to any open space where a grass fire could start and spread quickly toward where I was living.
– I am sure you know this, but Denver is HCOL. If you and your partner ever want to buy a house, decent ones are north of $500k in most areas now. In Boulder and the nicer areas of Denver, Centennial, etc. it can be north of a million.
We have friends who moved to the Boulder area about 15 years ago and exhorted us many times over the years to move close to them. I wish we had done it. Their $350k house in Boulder (which seemed ridiculously expensive to us at the time) is now worth $1.1 million. Their job/career prospects have been excellent and they were able to have their kids in the regular neighborhood public school. Every year it seems like more people want to move to Denver. Especially if the water situation in Phoenix or Vegas gets dire, there are only so many places people will be able to migrate to and I think Denver may be one of those places. So if you think you want to go, go now.
Anon
LOLOLOL for a house above 500K being HCOL. That wouldn’t get you a shack or a half a one-bedroom in the Bay Area.
OP–I have lived in Denver. I really loved the weather, nature, being able to afford a shared ski house on weekends and have great winters, gorgeous wildflowers. Red Rocks is amazing for concerts.
I disliked how dry it was (it takes _a while_ for your skin and contacts to adjust), how hot the summers were (dry heat, but high nineties to 100+ in Denver proper), how _far_ Denver is from coasts where all my people were. The “non-new-American” food scene was not strong–less fusion and the like.
Anon
“LOLOLOL for a house above 500K being HCOL. That wouldn’t get you a shack or a half a one-bedroom in the Bay Area.”
Bay Area is VHCOL. There is a distinction.
Anon
500k for a decent house, laughs in Australian.
Anonymous
500k for a decent house is not HCOL!
Anon
Only visited there, but my brother and his wife (who relocated from IL for about 2 years) said the summers were way too hot for them (??? I went in August and it was totally fine for me), but there was a lot less traffic than they’re used to which was nice. They were also able to get and hike/spend time in the national parks quite a bit, and enjoyed that. They moved back for work/family, not out of hate for the area.
Anon867
I don’t live there now, but I’m a 4th generation Coloradan. My family all lives there and some are now starting to seriously consider moving away due to drought/fire. Fire is a huge factor not just for actual fire danger, but fires anywhere in the west make the air quality so bad on Colorado’s front range that it’s unhealthy to go outside.
Anon
My nephew is killing himself to pay interest on his student loans by working as a college freshman. I thought interest was not accruing? Something seems not right — maybe he has private loans (but I thought you only did that after maxing out on govt loans). I know he needs to transfer to a lower-cost school but in the meantime his mom and I think he will start to do poorly because he is spread very thin.
Anonymous
You thought wrong interest accrued on unsubsidized loans. But nothing wrong with working as a freshman. Good for him.
Anonymous
Due to the CARES Act, interest on unsubsidized loans has been 0% for the past two years and will not accrue until the end of August.
Anonymous
I don’t know about the interest issue, but how much is he working? Lots of people work part-time while going to college. I did. At some points I had 3 or 4 different jobs plus occasional babysitting and I still did extracurriculars, participated in my sorority, and managed to date a lot and drink too mich. I didn’t get straight As, but I also didn’t get super high grades in high school for similar reasons.
Cornellian
sounds like he has private loans. it would generally make sense to only take private loans out after you max the government ones, but I don’t think there is a requirement to do it in that order. Maybe he missed the deadline for government loans this year or something, and then realized he needed cash.
Anonymous
Federal unsubsidized too
Anon
I have unsubsidized Stafford loans and no interest has accumulated on my loans since March of 2020. My FedLoan account dashboard shows the interest rate on all of my loans is at 0%. If I could post up the screenshot for you, I would. I don’t know where you’re getting this information, that interest has accrued on federal unsubsidized Stafford loans.
Anonymous
Butt out, this is not your circus. I worked all through school much to the criticism of my family, but if they had decided to financially help me I wouldn’t have had to work. Their criticisms and lack of help ruined our relationship. Depending on your sisters income there might be an amount she’s ‘presumed’ to contribute and if she didn’t your nephew is up sh*t Creek just like I was.
Anon
this this this
Senior Attorney
THIS.
Anon
This – unless you’re going to replace his work earnings, butt out. He knows working and going to school is tough.
Seventh Sister
Personally, I got better grades when I was busy in college. I worked 10-15 hours at an on-campus job, DJd a radio show, and was usually doing tech/in a play each semester. I really overstretched my second semester of first year, but I dialed back in successive years and made good grades.
Anonymous
1. None of your business.
2. Many students work 10 or so hours a week. It is pretty doable because college is less time-consuming than high school (many fewer hours of class, out-of-class workload the same as or less than an intense high school program) and most no longer have sports practices.
3. Yes, if he’s taking out huge loans he chose the wrong school. If his mom doesn’t want him working she can pay his tuition. But again, none of your business.
Bonnie Kate
+100 to 1-3, and I’ll add one more from myself:
4. “his mom and I think he will start to do poorly”…which means he isn’t doing poorly, so why are you two worried about a problem that’s not happening?
Senior Attorney
And THIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.
Anon
I worked 10-15 hours a week in grunt jobs (cafeteria, concession stand, janitor) during college and it was fine. Kept interest payments at bay, kept me grounded, made me appreciate the value of a college degree. I graduated with fewer loans than most and never had to move back home like many of my no-job-in-college friends.
Anon
+1. He’s making a smart financial decision. And as someone who interviews new grads, I would SO rather hire someone who worked and had a B average than some pampered, sheltered kid with a 4.0 who knows nothing about how the real world works.
Bonnie Kate
same. I’ll take any kind of work experience that was long term, shows that they know something about workplaces.
OP, I think you and his mom should be proud and supportive of his decisions instead of questioning them.
Anon
1000%.
Anonymous
I had scholarship money but was also expected to do work study hours and still did well.
Anne-on
I worked throughout college and graduated early thanks to parents who pulled their promised financial support after my 2nd year (and who never covered all of my costs to begin with). My parents loved to tell me how I needed to ‘relax’ and ‘enjoy this time’ around others but then privately refused to kick in any additional $$ and were on my case about how my GPA needed to stay high or I’d lose my scholarships (I know, thanks for that).
Unless you can offer this kid some practical support – connections to get a paid summer internship, advice on consolidating loans, sources for additional scholarships, or kick in some pocket money you should leave it alone. I guarantee you he is working for a very good reason.
Anon Too
I worked either 2 part-time or 1 almost full-time (37.5 hours/week) jobs while going to school full time. I was a double major and graduated with honors. You can go to school and work and still do well and there is nothing wrong with working while going to school. In fact, it can give your nephew a leg up on his classmates by helping him to build his work ethic and time management skills. Not your circus, not your monkeys…. if he’s doing well and not asking for advice, better to stay out of it.
Anonymous
I worked through the last three years of college, and those were definitely the years with my highest grades. Having limited free time forced me to focus when I otherwise would not, even though the course material was more difficult.
Cat
I worked for two years of college and it actually improved my experience – I had more money, relevant experience on my resume, and less free time for the devil to find my idle hands ;) My grades were the best those two years…
Curious
Voice of dissent here. Yale recently capped undergraduate working hours around 15 (I think) because more was significantly impacting students’ experience. When I was working 20 hours a week this was certainly true. Now, it might not be financially feasible (let us talk about endowments and Ivy financial aid), but it’s not completely ridiculous to be concerned! He sounds very responsible though and will probably be fine :).
Anon
I agree with this and think the details matter lot- how many hours, how predictable, how far away, relevant to future career, etc. I’m a professor at the kind of university where almost all students work, many close to full time, and it’s clear that it really affects academic performance. It’s fairly common for students to miss class because of work- employers no longer do regular schedules and will call them in on no notice and they get fired if they don’t go. When they’re working a lot of hours, they also miss out on things like undergrad research, internships, and other things that get them better paid jobs when they finish. I’m all in favor of working (I worked all of high school and college), but there’s clearly a point where it would be better if it could be avoided, though I understand that’s not always possible.
Anon
I’ll just add, after teaching for a few years now, I’ve seen that many students in this situation are still in those low paid customer service jobs even after graduation, while the ones who did research and internships are much more likely to have professional jobs or be in grad school. There’s clearly some class confounding here, but it doesn’t say great things about the value of a degree alone.
Anonymous
There is a huge difference between working 10-15 hours a week in an on-campus job and working off-campus in retail or fast food. Let’s hope OP’s nephew is doing the former.
Anonymous
Holy privilege batman
Anon
Anonymous at 12:19 I worked in the on-campus cafeteria – so which side of the huge difference do I fall on?
Anonymous
It depends on whether the cafeteria demanded that you work during class time.
Anon
I got caught in this trap. Getting my degree did allow me to break out of service and manufacturing, but it took over 15 years to do it.
My options at the time were work full time hours and go to school full time or don’t go to school. If someone had paid my way, my grades would have been a lot higher and I definitely could have made use of all the non-classroom experiences on offer, but no one did, so I made the best of it. The system needs to change so students can go to school and cover modest living expenses. I wasn’t working night shift at $9/hr just for the hell of it.
Anon
I worked 10 hours a week and was a DI varsity athlete on a national-championship caliber team where we were technically capped at 25 hours a week of practice but training room time, commuting and other team events meant that it was much closer to 35. Still glad I did it. Graduated with great grades.
Agree with the other posters that if this kid is working like 40 hours a week, that is not ideal, but his future self will be so glad his loans are lower. Trust.
Anon
I am studying student employment during college for my PhD. It is correlated with slightly lower grades but it’s highly correlated with higher earnings post graduation. Working too much does tend to cause issues but too much is relative (and usually more students who work full time off-campus),
Tax season ugh
I’m just gut checking that this is normal. I sent in an estimated tax payment as a check via mail back in December. I saw the money deduct from my account a few weeks later and didn’t think much of it. I just looked again and it looks like it came out as a direct debit (like an ACH) instead of a check? Is this how the IRS takes payments even if you send a check?
I’m asking because I have a rather large tax bill this month, and I kind of like the extra assurance of seeing a check clear and having the validated check image as a backup receipt. Not a deal breaker, but just wondering.
anon
Yes, it was converted to ACH. That’s super common these days because processing paper checks is so expensive (and risky, given that you’re having to physically move paper that has account information on it). If you look at the IRS page that discusses payment options, there’s actually a notice on there that if you pay by check you consent to conversion of the check to an electronic fund transfer.
(I work in this industry.)
AFT
As long as the same amount come out, I think you can be sure that it was the IRS. I’ve often seen checks categorized as ACHs (not necessarily from IRS).
Vicky Austin
Yeah, I’ve seen this happen many times. You might be able to call the bank and get a check image or something if you’d be more comfortable having it.
The Lone Ranger
You can also set your payments to the IRS to be ACH to begin with. You will get an email receipt with the date/time/amount that acts in the same way as your canceled check.
Sarah Lawrence alumnae? And thanks to Bronxville 'Rette
Good morning!
Belated thanks to the ‘Rette from Bronxville who sent in tips for visiting campus last fall. We’re visiting this weekend and are grateful!
Any SLC alumnae who want to share their experiences? My daughter is admitted and is weighing this vs a state university.
Thanks!
anon
Do you have vast amounts of money/will she get a scholarship? I would never pay SLC tuition for a liberal arts college.
Also, you’re familiar with the Larry Ray story, yes?
Anon
+1 I don’t know that I’d say I’d never pay for a liberal arts college, but I’d have serious reservations for paying for a lower tier one like Sarah Lawrence.
Anonymous
I went to a liberal arts college on par w SLC. Full freight. Had $50k in loans at graduation.
I would do it again. I landed my first job bc my college friend’s parent as an ibanker and got me a job. A lot of these schools are full of well connected rich kids and you don’t get that at state school.
I also went to class with a lot of kids that skates into the school on their money alone. They weren’t super bright. I was smart and a good student and it was easy to be the top of my class in all my classes.
Anonymous
Agree, I went to Skidmore (with loans) , husband went to Conn College (mostly paid for by parents, some loans). We have a combined HHI of $350k, all our loans paid off, two grad degrees (did not take on more than $20k of debt) 3 kids, live in a $1.3M house and have nice cars. We had $125k of loan debt between ugrad and grad that has long been paid off.
You can rag on the small colleges but they are great for connections and if you get good grades they are nice feeder schools for grad programs. Just don’t go to law school ;). I run a marketing department and DH is an operations exec with an mba.
Good jobs are not guarantees.
Anon
I tend to agree. I wish State Us came in this flavor but so many are large and impersonal and aren’t undergrad-focused. What was Trenton State College in my day didn’t sound cool but was just was I needed. Not every state has this though.
Anonymous
It helps if you plan to stay regional to the LAC. DH went to Trinity in CT and got his first job from an alum in Boston. It paid like 95k for really reasonable hours back in 2008.
If he wanted to move back to his hometown of St Louis I doubt he’d have gotten such a good job.
Uma Coltortina
I agree that the college guys at places like Sarah Lawrence and Vassar have great advantages over us when it comes to having their choice of women, even tho they may be ultra-dorky themselves. We remain at a sexual disadvantage as we still expect men to initiate with us; in many cases out of either our fear of rejection or their unrealistic expectation that if we initiate, they expect and demand that we will be very willing to give them exactly what they want immediately in bed. However ridiculous this may seem it is true. So we revert to the age old female stereotypes of waiting patiently by our phone (or our texts) to hear from these dorky losers, even tho we really are not even looking to provide them with any kind of sexual releases. We long for companionship, but not a bad roll in the hay with them.
I say we just need to forget about these old norms, and go for what we want, and if those guys are dorky losers, we need to go out to places we can find desirable men that will give us what we want. All too often, these dorky on-campus losers are completely awful in the bedroom, leaving us with nothing at all, other than their gross semen to scrape off our clothing.
Anonymous
Vs which state school? What does daughter want to do?
Anon for this
Take this with a grain of salt, but I would not recommend SLC for any woman who may be interested in dating men (now or in the future). I have a few girl friends from high school who went there and they all had bad social experiences. The gender ratio there is 75% women, 25% men. The dating environment leads to the few straight men on campus being spoiled for choice and getting a really warped sense of their own greatness. They all generally treated the girls they dated terribly, and it was a bad self esteem blow to the others who weren’t ever “chosen”. I know it seems like I’m generalizing but there are so few straight men on campus that this really is one I’m confident making. Of course the social aspect is only one component of what makes college a right fit but I’ve seen first hand how coming of age in the dating world in SLC messed with my friends’ self esteem and expectations of/behavior in future relationships. If you google “dateenomics sarah lawrence” there’s a blog post summarizing a book that covers this exact topics.
On a more practical note, it’s exorbitantly expensive and has poor job placement stats.
Anon
Re the dating scene, I have a kid at a school like this and there are so few straight men that their power is scary in the wrong hands.
Anon
I tend to think this is true at any halfway prestigious college. I went to an elite private college that had (slightly) more men than women, but the men still had all the power when it came to relationships, because there were liberal arts colleges nearby teeming with women who wanted to date a ~[fancy school] man~. It sounds 1950s-ish but men are just not impressed by their dates’ academic credentials the way women are. It’s probably less of an issue at State Us (not knocking them at all – I work at one and I think the value is fantastic and lots of our students get great jobs or go on to excellent grad programs. But it doesn’t have the same name brand reputation.)
Anon
Campus culture is important to consider, as it’s a key component of the experience someone’s going to have at college. I know as a straight woman I would not want to be in college environment where, for four years, my dating options were going to be limited to a tiny pool of arrogant, toxic men.
As an example, my kid is getting recruitment literature from Brigham Young University. The marketing they’re sending him portrays a vision of the school that stands in stunning, marked contrast to my understanding of the campus culture (via stories from friends and coworkers who attended there), which is that it is almost all white, almost all Mormon, extremely socially conservative, and there’s a heavy cultural expectation for people to couple up and even get married before they graduate from college. The literature makes it seem like just about anyone could go to BYU and have a great college experience and I don’t think that’s the case. It’s a school for Mormons and non-Mormons are not going to understand the culture, or have a very good time with it. I explained to my son that colleges have no obligation to be honest in their marketing materials and say “this is a college for religiously-observant Mormons;” you have to do research to figure that out.
And to that end, it’s great that people today can do so much research on campus culture before they make an enrollment commitment. I had a high school friend who chose to go to UC Santa Cruz without knowing that it was a party school and she did not have a great experience; she ended up transferring back to our home city’s university after her first semester.
Anon
Haha my son goes to UC Santa Cruz as a freshman. He is having the opposite of the party school experience – the pandemic has really affected this.
Seventh Sister
The valedictorian of my high school in rural MD was Mormon and went to BYU – for about a year. Even though it was relatively low-cost and she was devout (served a mission and wanted to marry a Mormon guy), she *hated* the social scene. She transferred to a large public university and like that much, much better.
Ellen
This is awful. Why should women go to a school to be subjugated to the men there just because there are less men? I think women at SLC can go to NYC anytime they want to and meet other people, male or female, that should not mistreat them. Dad said he once dated a SLC girl when he lived in the Bronx, and he thought she was too smart to fall for what women today fall for. I do not understand how this can happen unless the need for a man is so strong that they will do nearly anything for him. That is terrible. We women need to stick together and reject any and all attempts by men to subjugate us just because we are women. We are strong when we are unified. Look at what our female governor has been abel to do! She took over from Cuomo and hasn’t looked back! Kudo’s to her!
Anonymous
I graduated from both. They are diametric opposites in every way.
SLC has very small class sizes, is artsy, almost all upper middle to upper class women. Social life is mainly going out in Manhattan. No men to speak of. I dated my roomate’s brother whom I met when we stayed at her summer home on the coast of Maine. The lack of men is not necessarily a bad thing, it can be empowering for some. Small walkable campus with nice dorms. Individual attention from the professors.
State U had hundreds of kids especially in the intro classes. You had to go see the TA if you didn’t get something. Lots of sorority/ frat parties, football games. There is a social group for anything you can think of. You are more of a number. Dorm was a cinderblock tower. Had to take a bus to classes. Good luck to her!
anon a mouse
Does anyone have the Instant Pot with air fryer lid? I have to replace my ailing Instant Pot and don’t have room for a separate air fryer. Worth it?
Anonymous
I do! It is small. What are you looking to cook?
Anon
I love mine but I am single (so cooking for 1). It is quite small and I do not think it would replace a stand alone air fryer for more than one person.
ano
Mine is definitely small – I got the first gen and I live alone. I do think, however, that they now have a bigger size? Check out options.
Bonnie Kate
We have the Ninja Foodi 11 in 1, that is both an air fryer and a pressure cooker and 9 other things.
We’re HUGE fans. I was prepared to hate it (generally don’t love small appliances) but DH really wanted one. We didn’t have the Instant Pot first, so can’t directly compare. We use ours at least several times a week.
Grace
Recs for things to do in Boise, Idaho?
I will have most of a day, because my flight gets in at 9 AM and the actual events I need to be there for don’t start until dinnertime. I will not have access to a car, but I don’t mind ride shares/public transit/walking. I’ll be staying around the southern tip of Garden City, near the river and the Route 26 bridge.
I’ve already noticed the Basque Museum (which has the advantage that it’s downtown and therefore seems to have no shortage of restaurants in the area), the World Center for Birds of Prey, and the Botanical Garden/Old Penitentiary. Also the greenbelt, which my hotel is right next to, but I figure I can save that for “conference is over for the day, I am going to scream if I spend ten more minutes interacting with people, time for a walk” later.
Activities involving walking are fine. I won’t have any company, as far as I know, because the rest of my group is flying in separately and later. I’d also like recs for somewhere to get lunch – I don’t have a massive budget but I can go up to about $30-40 for a meal, since everything else is going to be conference food. (Aside from the one night where we’re getting dinner from a Basque restaurant, which looks fascinating.)
PolyD
There’s a blogger called Cotton Cashmere Cat Hair who lives in Boise and has a few posts on places to go there.
Anon
For lunch, the Sand bar which is on your hotel property is pretty good and great location on the river. Bardenay and Fork are very good downtown. It’s an easy e-scooter ride on the greenbelt to get downtown. If you have time for a hike, check out the 8th Street Learning center and Lower Hulls Gulch (or any trail) in that area. If you do the Botanical garden, it’s worth doing the hike up Table Rock as well which has a great view of the city.
Biopsy
Has anyone had a D&C to biopsy a uterine mass/?polyp? Do you remember what it was like for you? How long did the whole thing take (ie. how many hours away from home)?
I am caring for an ill family member right now, and would have to have a someone fly in to take care of them if I will be out of pocket for too long.
Cornellian
Not me but I helped a friend recover. I drove her home on same day, she was a bit out of it/in pain but nothing unbearable. She then bled for 3-4 days and couldn’t lift anything for 10 days, I think, but she was basically only really out of commission for 1.5 days (unless your caretaking involves lifting things).
Anon
I had D&C after two incomplete miscarriages. It was outpatient at the hospital and I wanted and needed all the pain meds. You’ll be not quite yourself for a day.
Biopsy
I’m sorry you had to go through this twice.
Do you remember how long you were in the hospital for the entire pre –> post procedure stuff? Like 3 hours or 6 hours or 9 hours? Were you awake for the procedure? I am also debating what to do about drugs/anesthetic, as I don’t have anyone to pick me up.
I may not be able to get anyone to come help me for months, so I am debating whether to just try to manage on my own if my brother can’t come, or if I have to delay the procedure until the summer. I am waiting to find out from the doctor if this needs to be done urgently.
Anon
Probably a total of 4 hours in the hospital soup to nuts, but drugged and groggy at home.
I’m sorry you have to go through this! It’s not a procedure I would do for fun, and it’s just one more of those procedures where they assume it doesn’t hurt because it’s a women’s procedure. I always say this about this stuff, but if men had to do this they’d have entire research institutes and wings of hospitals dedicated to it. Take all the drugs they offer.
Carla
I had one just a few weeks ago! I was told not to eat from the day before. My mom came in to go to the hospital with me. The procedure was completely fine, I was under general anesthesia and do not remember and did not feel a thing. I felt the after effects of the anesthesia for a while so they did want someone to drive me home. I didn’t have any bleeding afterwords and went to work the next day.
Anon
Interesting to read about general anesthesia. They told me it wouldn’t hurt and finally gave me some Valium when it in fact did hurt.
Carla
I couldn’t swim or “garden” for 2 weeks after, and didn’t really take pain meds. I think it went particularly well for me – usually there is at least some bleeding. I did WFH the day after.
Anon
I had a D & C for retained tissue after a second trimester miscarriage. It was outpatient, but I was under general anesthesia. I was out of the hospital the same day. I had bleeding for a few days after. I’d say that you would be out for the day of and probably at least part of the next day. That also depends on what level of care you are providing.
Anon
My experience may be different but in case it’s helpful: I had a D&C for an incomplete miscarriage and it was not a big deal at all. I was not knocked out and just took Advil before, and was fine within an hour after. I also had a uterus biopsy for an ectopic pregancy which was a very painful 30 seconds but I was back to normal within an hour.
aBr
Have someone fly in. Took care of my mom after she had one – she went in early and was home by early afternoon but was properly out of it for a couple days. I do have fond memories of her on pain meds talking to the ballon I got her.
Biopsy
Thank you all for sharing your experiences. It helps a lot.
It is interesting that some of you had it with general anesthesia and some had it without. I asked my doc if I could do it without anesthesia and she acted like I was crazy.
Now I just have to try not to panic about what the bill will be..,..
Anon
I need outfit suggestions for a presentation. It’s an on your feel 20 minute deal where conference participants go from station to station to hear a series of quick developing ideas presentations. What would you wear? I think my traditional suiting looks are going to be too stuffy. I prefer pants over dresses.
Anon
Do you have a colorful blazer? Pair that with whatever neutral pants go with the blazer.
No Face
I agree with the interesting blazer and neutral pants recommendation.
Easy family dinners?
After two years of relative quiet with so much cancelled or pared back for covid, things are fully in swing at work and kid activities. Suddenly slammed at work (and traveling frequently), while at the same time having recently lost our regular sitter and with kids in activities (three kids old enough to be alone but none old enough to drive) all over. As a result, I’m often in the car for hours and rarely able to prep or sit down for a family dinner. Too often, we end up feeding them chicken tenders or mac & cheese (with my plans, and the food I bought to make a family meal, falling apart). Needing I need to reset expectations and focus on things that a kid can grab and warm up solo when they are ready to eat (like a crock pot meal I make earlier in the day, meal prep I do over the weekend, pre-made meals, meal delivery?) so that they at least get more varied and nutritious meals. Kids are not super adventurous eaters, but will try new things within limits. Any ideas from crazy busy families? I’m in the DC area in case it matters for grab-and-go or meal delivery options. (And I’m trying to hire a new sitter but not having any luck!) TIA!
Anonymous
If you can meal prep on the weekend, consider crock pot/instant pot meals? Sounds like your kids are old enough to at least be able to put things into one of those and press some buttons and not blow up the house. It also sounds like the kids are old enough to start helping out with some prep – my mom had me washing the rice and putting it in the rice cooker or boiling water for noodles at that age.
No Face
I let go of my expectation that dinner had to be a hot meal. Sandwiches or wraps with fruit is perfectly good dinner, and it’s easy to vary ingredients.
Re: the rest of your post, I have rebuilt my babysitting roster and I can’t recommend it enough! A teen plays with my kids twice a week. I just finished a zoom interview with a friendly self-employed artist with a flexible schedule and a need for cash.
Anan
When my nine year old is home by herself, she is allowed to use the toaster oven and will make toasted sandwiches for dinner. If we are home, she can do eggs on the stove. Sandwiches are often our go to quick dinner.
I work a lot of evenings and often I will put together a sheetpan dinner before work so my Husband just has to stick it in the oven when he gets home. The NY Times roasted Shrimp and Broccoli is great for this and super quick if prepped ahead of time.
We also usually have one InstantPot meal a week – usually soup or pasta (I love that I can cook meatballs, pasta, and sauce together.) or some kind of rice dish.
In the DC area- check out Foodhini- it’s a meal delivery service that employs immigrants to cook their home cuisine. Everything comes with microwave preheating instructions.
Anotheranon
We’re remodeling our bathroom! Daydreaming / looking for inspiration. Tell me your favorite bathroom features!
Cat
having a handheld spray (on hose) plus a regular showerhead.
Keeping the shower space large enough to not feel cramped, but not supersized. They can be stunning but also – that much air in shower means it can be chilly!
Senior Attorney
My VERY FAVORITE thing in my new bathroom is an extra toilet paper holder, mounted down low on the same wall as the back of the toilet. Saw it in a hotel in Iceland and copied it. And because I am a sucker for ridiculously expensive bathroom fixtures, I got this one and mounted it vertically: https://www.rejuvenation.com/catalog/collections/west-slope-toilet-paper-holder
Also: We are planning on aging in place so did a curbless shower.
Anonymous
Built-in shelves in the shower so you don’t need a shower caddy.
Senior Attorney
Oh, and if you can, put shelves or a niche on a wall that isn’t visible from the outside of the shower. Those fabulous tiled niches look amazing right up until you actually put your shampoo and stuff in them, then they look kind of awful (ask me how I know — fortunately I was able to get it right this time and I am so happy!).
Anon
We have this and I love it.
Rain shower plus hand held.
Toto bidet toilet.
Double toilet roll holders
Plenty of storage under the vanity.
Fab mirrors
Dark grouting
Aunt Jamesina
Heated towel racks! And always as much storage and as many hooks as you can fit in.
Anne-on
This – it drives me nuts when I’m in a hotel and there isn’t a single place to hang a wet towel other than over the wet shower door or bathroom door. This has happened everywhere from motels up to 5-star hotels. Why…..
Anon.
This – our house has hooks right outside each shower door and at kid height in the kid bathroom. It seriously is the simplest thing, but makes me so happy.
Anne-on
My very favorite things we did were installing heated tile floors, a toto washlet, and a handheld shower rail (in addition to the normal overhead shower). We did away with the tub and instead added more storage in the bathroom (old house, so we had no linen closet originally). We also enlarged our shower from a tight stall to a 4×4 steam shower, which we adore. I also always advocate for as much storage as possible, at least 2 towel bars, and hooks. I hate bathrooms with not enough places to hang a robe and towels dry better on towel bars vs. hooks. If you’re working with limited with wall space a ‘train rack’ – pottery barn has great ones – is an excellent choice.
NYCer
+1 to heated floors and handheld shower rail.
Anonymous
Counterpoint: I detest handheld shower nozzles. They are one more fussy thing to clean and the hoses are cumbersome. The only thing I like them for is bathing the dog.
AFT
plug near toilet in case you or a future owner want to add a bidet attachment.
Storage for costco sized toilet paper/beach towels/etc.
Anon
Following as we need to start our master bathroom remodel (hasn’t been updated since the house was built in 1989) in the next year or so. So far on my wish list:
– Replace garden jetted tub with pedestal tub
– Curbless shower with hanging glass panel shower wall (vs an enclosure with a door)
– I want to put subway tile across the floor where the tub and shower are and then run it all the way up to the ceiling on the wall behind the tub and shower
– Getting rid of the old double vanity with cabinets and plate mirror in favor of dual free-standing vanities with vessel sinks and framed mirrors
Anon
We did two cabinets that are pull out cabinets. By far my favorite thing. We also did medicine chest for mirrors that have magnifying mirrors on the inside, which are so handy and keep our counters nice and clear.
Anonymous
I LOVE my heated tile floor.
anonshmanon
Seconding the heated floor, such a luxurious feel. And giant rainfall shower heads are overrated in my opinion.
Anon
This may be more than your planned scope, but we had huge picture windows installed when we got a corner tub. The standard contractor windows were skinny slivers of nothing.
anonypotamus
heated floors! outlets at the proper height for hair appliances. outlets in the medicine cabinet for electric toothbrush chargers. enough storage (says the woman with only one bathroom and it has a pedestal sink).soft lighting around the sides of the mirror, not just overhead lighting. shelves/nooks in the showers for toiletries, a shelf/ledge for resting your foot if you shave your legs. curbless shower.
Anonymous
Easily available drain cleaning.
Heated floors.
Hand-held shower.
Rainfall shower head.
Glass shower wall/door.
Bathtub.
Makeup mirror with suitable lighting.
Plenty hooks for hand-towels.
Plenty hooks for robes, towels and rack for airing out clothes in the steam of the room.
Room for baskets for dirty clothes, out of the way.
Deep sink that can work for hand-washing delicates, lots of counter space.
Designated place to keep hairdryer and similar ready.
Would love heated towel racks and a window (so the plants don’t die) as well as two sinks and lots of drawers as well.
Anon
Any tips for dealing with bored and/or emotional eating? I’ve been really struggling lately. Bored? Eat junk food. Sad? Eat junk food. I’ve fallen into this kind of pattern before and been able to just will power my way out of it, but it’s not working as well for me right now.
Anonymous
1. Don’t keep junk food in the house.
2. Brush your teeth immediately after dinner. If you are as lazy as I am, you won’t snack after dinner because you won’t want to brush your teeth again.
3. For me, regular exercise and eating well-balanced meals that contain enough calories reduce junk food cravings.
4. Find another comfort activity. For me that’s reading or watching a show that isn’t too violent or suspenseful.
Anon
Thanks, these are great tips! The tooth brushing one never works for me, though. I know this is bad but I just don’t brush my teeth again if I have a late night snack. Finding a replacement activity is a really great idea.
anon.
Ok, I might get push back for this but I think you need to log if you are “really” struggling as you say. If it’s just temporary, don’t. But if it isn’t temporary, force yourself to log. “If you bite it, write it.” You can see the impact. When I did it, it scared me straight, at least sometimes :)
Anon
OP here and I think that would actually help me quite a bit. I hadn’t even considered it. I have tracked calories/macros at different times before and it is not something that is harmful for me, although I know it can be for others.
Linda
I recently started a job in management at an industrial company. I want to revamp my wardrobe! I’d like to look professional/authoritative, but also need to wear sneakers/closed-toed shoes and be able to walk around facilities. Anyone have any thoughts on potential casual-ish professional outfits?
Notinstafamous
What about Jeans (or black pants) + blazer. Mix and match the formality of the blazer / shirt / shoes depending on the day – you can do loafers or trendy sneakers or flats or booties. If you want to be trendy you can do high waisted / wide leg pants with a cropped blazer for example. Or you can do straight leg dark wash jeans, fun sneakers, shell & blazer. Use what you have and love and see what you can update to increase use case scenarios.
C
On the featured shirt: this thing is not forgiving; the fabric is too thin and shows every roll. I’m 135 lbs, 5’6, and don’t actually even HAVE any rolls but had to return after trying a size up to see if that helped. I love the terracotta color and the neckline but I don’t love how it makes me look like I have a massive gut. It is absolutely true that I do not have the flat belly I had when I was 25 but I was very startled that a brand that bills itself as size inclusive produced something so unflattering. Maybe the trick is ALSO wearing the foundation camisole (only $44 more!) underneath?