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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
Sales of note for 10.10.24
- Nordstrom – Extra 25% off clearance (through 10/14); there's a lot from reader favorites like Boss, FARM Rio, Marc Fisher LTD, AGL, and more. Plus: free 2-day shipping, and cardmembers earn 6x points per dollar (3X the points on beauty).
- Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale (ends 10/12)
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything plus extra 25% off your $125+ purchase
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide
- J.Crew Factory – 50% off entire site, plus extra 25% off orders $150+
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Sale on sale, up to 85% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 50% off 2+ markdowns
- Target – Circle week, deals on 1000s of items
- White House Black Market – Buy one, get one – 50% off full price styles
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
AIMS
I’m all for a good quality tee shirt, but I have to say this is not doing it for me. It hardly seems “frugal”, either, especially given the fact that you can get really nice BB tees at their outlet stores for about $15.
But speaking of nice tees, I did get this one recently at the Gap and am very pleasantly surprised by how much I like it. The “necklace” detail looks remarkably nice on, and the material is nice and thick, too. It’s $20 bucks online, but I got it in black for $10 at a Gap store. Sorry — not at all trying to hijack Kat’s Friday post with my own suggestion — just really like this tee and thought it might brighten up someone else’s wardrobe, too :)
For anyone interested: http://www.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=17082&vid=1&pid=841393
AJ
Oh, I really like that. And right now they’re running an extra 30% off sale styles, too with GAPSAVE.
Bunkster
Oops. You beat me.
Bunkster
That is a nice shirt and a much better price point than the one Kat chose.
I just got a GAP email stating that there is a 40% off sale in stores and 30% off online, when you use GAPSAVE as the code.
Lyssa
I agree completely- I’ve been looking for things like this, and I like it, but I just can’t see myself spending $50 on a t-shirt, even a nice one that will last several years.
BTW, I bought a basic tee from The Limited a few weeks ago, for around $20 on sale, and I’m really wishing that I’d bought a dozen- high quality fabric, nice feel, not to casual looking, pretty color, nice in-between neckline, great under a suit or with jeans. I could wear one every day. Haven’t made it back to the mall, but I’m really hoping to get a few more.
kz
I’ve found gap always has some good, thick t-shirts. I have to actually go to the store (or better, the outlet) because it’s hard to tell online which are the nice thick ones and which are the thinner, more casual, but once I’ve found a good one, gap tees tend to last me a while. Plus, they’re one of the few places I can find a white tshirt that isn’t so thin as to be see through.
Diana Barry
I like that T!
I say just say no to $50 t-shirts. $20 is my limit.
My experience with Ts is that they will get stained (particularly the white ones), or they shrink up in the wash and don’t fit well any more, after about 2-3 years. I just got rid of a bunch of shirts that were fine, no stains, etc., but had shrunk up too much to fit any more. With the cheaper ones, the seams on the side also start to travel after a while, and then you get a weird twisted looking t-shirt.
The Online Shopper
I agree – this BB t is a bit ho-hum for a $50.00 shirt. I like the Gap tee!
KS
I actually prefer a thinner T, and I just popped into the Ann Taylor Loft on Lower Broadway near Wall Street in Manhattan, and bought four of these in different colors — at $10.00 each!
http://www.anntaylorloft.com/catalog/product.jsp?productId=30544&N=1200005+3000004+2000005&categoryId=204&Ne=2000001&gridSize=sm&Ns=CATEGORY_SEQ_204&showAll=true&Nty=1&defaultColor=Pool%20Blue&defaultSizeType=Regular
I think these will get me through the summer quite nicely. They’re light enough for the heat of NYC summers, and will look great under a cardigan or blazer in my over-air conditioned office.
Anonymous
Speaking of BB – does anyone have a good source for men’s no-iron dress shirts in bolder colors? BB only seems to stock the same five colors for men (bankers blue, light blue, pale pink, pale yellow, and white, in various permutations of solids, stripes, and checks), and I’m looking for more variety and bolder tones. Any suggestions?
JJ
My husband gets pretty vibrant french blue shirts (unfortunately, that’s about as vibrant as his work wardrobe gets, so I can’t testify as to other colors) at Jos. A. Bank. And they’re ALWAYS running sales on their clothes. Husband has quite a few dress shirts from both there and BB and the quality is the same.
elle
Not sure how convenient this is for you, but my boyfriend really likes Charles Tyrwhitt shirts (I think it’s a UK-based brand?). There’s one in Midtown near my office and they are ALWAYS having sales. From what I gather, the shirts are good quality (he otherwise buys almost exclusively Brooks Brothers) and they definitely come in a billion colors. HTH.
bhtsmama
Charles Tyrwhitt! It is the only catalog that my husband refuses to cancel (he’s on a real tear about this, I do most of the shopping for myself and bhtsbabe on line and we get a ton.) They have great sales, you can choose your cuff style (button or French) and they always have some bold colors and patterns because it’s a sort of London City- style thing they’re going for. They also do a slim fit line. We’ve gone from all white and light blue shirts to lilac check, pink stripe, blue and yellow Prince of Wales…it’s a nice change.
rg
Not quite as fancy, but my husband loves the Alfani (Macy’s brand shirts). There all that he wears…and when they are having sales, you can often get them for under $20 if you couple them with coupons. I usually buy about 20 a couple of times a year during sales, and he decides which ones he likes and I return the rest (it’s hard to get him to enter a mall).
They usually have a pretty good variety of colors and patterns. Also, my husband really abuses his shirts, and they still tend to last a while.
CW
The Nordstrom’s store brand (I have no idea what it is) has great men’s shirts.
In-House Mouse
Nordstrom Smartcare shirts come in traditional and trim fit. The trim fit is not hipster-trim, but it’s a wardrobe staple for my husband. And some colors are almost always included in the summer pre-season sale.
somewherecold
We found a nice selection of colors at the Calvin Klein outlet last time we were shopping.
Divaliscious11
Cute – but not worth $50. Tees have a one year life cycle that goes wearable at work, to weekend wear, to house cleaning and or donations/trash.
Lyssa
You know, that really has never been my experience. I have basic shirts like this that look fresh for years. I wash them on delicate and hang dry, I guess tht makes a difference?
Lyssa
(but I completely agree that $50 is way too much, even if I will wear it to work for years.)
AN
Was planning on getting this but the name put me off….I mean ‘ puff sleeve’ ? Though I cannot fathom what’s puffy about it….so I’m on the fence.
meme
If you look at some of the pictures of the other colors, you can see there is a subtle gather/pleat at the outside bottom of the sleeve. I like it. But not the price.
meme
Related PSA: Brooks Brothers factory stores are having a 40% off sale in-store through the weekend.
Fiona
Threadjack – Does anyone have suggestions for a good book to read on a long flight? I recently read the Hunger Games and The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo on flights, both of which were perfect for flying. Any suggestions on other good page turners?
Lynnet
It’s not quite the same, but Michael Kortya’s mysteries/thrillers have gotten me through hours of reading on the treadmill, so I imagine they’d be great for flying as well.
anon
I went to HS with Michael Koryta! It’s always amazing to hear people say they read his books, and I feel terrible I’ve yet to read one! Glad to hear you recommend it. :)
Lynnet
That’s funny, he’s from my hometown! My mom recommended him to me after she saw a feature on him in the local newspaper.
His books are great for working out, I get so enthralled that I forget I’m exercising!
anon
Lynnet, I assume you and I are from the same hometown then! :) When did you graduate from high school?
Lynnet
Let’s just say I think I’m about 4 years younger than Michael (I can’t find his birthdate online). I like to maintain some anonymity. :)
Anon
I just finished City of Thieves by David Benioff. It’s a different genre – historical fiction about the occupation of Leningrad – but a definite page turner, and I’d highly recommend it.
govvie
Time for a Corporette Book Club!
SF Bay Associate
Great idea!
xoxo
I’d be interested!
cbackson
I loved that book. Benioff is one of the screenwriters (and I think, a producer) for Game of Thrones, btw.
found a peanut
This is a book I always recommend, esp to boys (IMO most fiction is written for women but this book is definitely a boy book). I was actually going to recommend this book on this thread until you beat me to it :)
Veronica
I probably risk opening up a can of horrible worms here but….what, exactly, makes a book a “boy book” in your opinion? No women characters or only 1 dimensional virgin/whore women characters?
LinLondon
I chose that for my book club a couple years ago and recommend it often. Great buddy story! (And I love that he’s married to Amanda Peet, I really like her)
Bunkster
I’m going to download a sample of this. First of all, I love book recommendations. And secondly, I majored in Soviet Studies in college. Yup, I’m even more of a dork than you realized. Also, the Soviet Studies major ended when the Soviet Union collapsed so you can guess my age. In fact, the collapse occurred during my senior year of college.
cbackson
I read The Passage, by Justin Cronin, recently, and it’s nice and long (it is, for lack of a better description, about vampires and the end of the world).
Consultant in NoVA
The Help by Kathryn Stockett. Movie comes out in August.
SF Bay Associate
I saw that preview before Bridesmaids and it looked pretty good. I didn’t realize it was a book, so I better read it before I see the movie. Thanks!
Midwestern Mom
Amen… excellent bokk.
North Shore
The Help was the best audio book I’ve ever listened to. The voices and accents really made it great on audio.
Consultant in NoVA
The author reflects that MIssissippi dialect in her writing. When I first started reading the book I kept thinking how could they publish a book with so many errors!
anon
YES. Read it on a plane last weekend. So, so, so good
Anonymous Hippopotamus
Bossypants by Tina Fey and Committed by Elizabeth Gilbert–very quick, fun reads!
Anonymous
I was pleasantly surprised that I loved Committed – I didn’t expect to like it because I couldn’t stand Eat, Pray, Love.
Veronica
On my last boring chunk of travel time, I slurped up Val McDermid mysteries like a starving man with soup. They’re a little gory/sick though, and I guess not for everyone. …But on second thought if you were fine with the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo that probably won’t be an issue.
cbackson
A Place of Execution is one of my favorite books ever.
Bunkster
I really liked that one, too.
Bunkster
Can you tell by the number of times I’ve posted today that I’m working from home?
Anyway, I read a lot. I actually even have a spreadsheet listing the books, the genre, my rating, etc. Yup, major dork here.
It sounds like you like thrillers. I haven’t read Hunger Games, but I have read the Stieg Larsson books. It also sounds like you like books that come in series. So, with that in mind, I’d suggest either Dennis Lehane’s Patrick Kenzie series (Gone Baby Gone is one of them and Moonlit Mile just came out in March) or the IRA series by Stuart Neville (only 2 books so far).
skippy pea
Would love to see your spreadsheet! I also like the idea of starting one myself. As I read a lot too – often books picked up at airport or train station to read while traveling. Ofcourse since these books are for mass consumption and not classics one will remember or keep going back to, I often forget the title and the gist of the story. Maybe a spreadsheet titled “already read books” with a synopsis would be a good idea. :)
SF Bay Associate
Yes, please share as an anonymous googledoc!
And to contribute, I plowed through the Lacuna by Kingslover on a couple of plane rides. Not really a page turner like Hunger Games or The Girl Who, but I enjoyed it a lot.
Bunkster
Okay. Let’s see if this works…
https://spreadsheets.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0AvobkWrR5ZWXdGducFRQVE9lLXJpSGVnT1U4aFlTQkE&hl=en_US&authkey=CLj81coH
Bunkster
Just wanted to say that the tabs on the bottom correspond with the year so the 2011 tab is the most current.
Also, apparently google docs doesn’t like the highlighting very much.
And, for the record, currently I’m reading Bossypants.
Jessica
As a fellow book dork, I have to recommend goodreads.com — it allows you to keep track of books you have read (with ratings) and books you want to read. I often see a book mentioned in a magazine or newspaper and just zip over to goodreads to mark it as a “to read.” They even have an iphone app that comes in handy if I am at Barnes & Nobles or Borders. Several of my friends use it as well, so I get ideas from them too.
Bunkster
I’ll look into that. I’ve had the spreadsheet for about 7 years so it probably predates the app/site.
And let me just figure out how to do the anonymous google doc thing.
SF Bay Associate
I think you have the privacy settings up right now Bunkster. You have to make it a public document for us to admire your handiwork. Lynnet and Bunkster, you guys are awesome.
Bunkster
Okay. I’ve set it to “Anyone who has the link can view” I could change it to “Public on the web” but then the document would be searchable and would pop up in people’s google searches. I’m not sure I want that.
Hel-lo
Nice! Thanks for sharing your spreadsheet!
Anonymous
Love Dennis Lehane! The Given Day is fantastic and not scary/graphic like his other books.
Lynnet
I do this, too! I love being able to go back and see everything I’ve read for the past several years. Then at the end of every year I go back and compile all my stats (how many books in each genre/YA v. Adult/Fiction v. Non-fiction/Male v. Female authors/authors of color v. white authors) and make goals for the next year. I don’t even want to count how many different ways this makes me a huge dork.
skippy pea
Bunkster, thank you for sharing that. Is there any way I can save it or print it out without using google chrome? IE does not seem to let me do anything.
Great list btw.
Bunkster
I’ll check into it. I’m guessing the problem is that you don’t have a google account. I’ll see if I can send the link to someone I know who doesn’t have a gmail account to see what happens…
Dr. Cox
I absolutely love the Dennis Lehane series, though found Moonlit Mile a little disappointing.
Fiona
These suggestions are awesome – Corporettes are the best!
Makeup Junkie
The Gemma Doyle trilogy! I just read the first book (A Great and Terrible Beauty) and am going to pick up the second from the library tomorrow!
Livia
I just happened on this article from today’s NYTimes rounding up a bunch of new books: http://tinyurl.com/42xqfdq.
The only one I’ve read from the list is Steven Tyler’s autobiography, which is enjoyable, but probably only for Aerosmith/classic rock fans… lots of drug/groupie stories.
N
If you liked The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, you might like Nesbo’s The Snowman.
L
CNN has a post today with 12 recommended books for the summer. At least one of the above suggestions is on there. It is compiled from several different sources including Goodread and EW.
Earth Children
Have you ever read the Earth Children series? Totally engrossing.
http://www.jeanauel.com
michelle
I really liked “Blood Work” by Michael Connelly, also Mystic River by Lehane, The Poisonwood Bible by Kingsolver, and Beach Music by Pat Conroy.
Kicking myself
Hello ladies! I waited too long to buy a gift for a bridal shower (just lost track of the calendar), and now the registry is totally filled. Does anyone have any suggestions for off-registry gifts that look intentional (won’t just seem like I either disregarded the registry or couldn’t get my act together soon enough)?
The invitation mentioned gift cards to some stores would be welcome, but that would stand out even more – is there something cute I could put the gift card in or package it with that makes it more of a “present”?
Ellen
I would find out if they liked fresh COFFEE, and then get them the annual Subscription to a upscale Coffee service.
My father LOVES Gevalia coffee, and it comes from SWEDEN, so I bought him a coffee subscripion. My mother does NOT drink coffee, so it will last even longer!
cbackson
It comes from SWEDEN?! Really! How exciting!
Bunkster
Yes. The best coffee comes from Hawaii, Jamaica, Columbia, and Sweden!
Channeling Can’t Buy Me Love and this quote: “Oh, yeah. The best leathers come from Rome, Paris, and Des Moines!”
Bunkster
Oops. Sorry, *Colombia*
michelle
Ivy League coffee!
Bunkster
Hee. Ivy League coffee is the best! I did go to Columbia so it was probably more of a freudian slip. I rarely reference the country. I often reference the school.
Scully
How about a spa gift certificate? It could be presented as part of a bridal care package to be used that last hectic week before the wedding. A massage might be nice then. If you are looking for a more tangible gift, what about a wine/beer of the month club? Other than that, just get something that is easily returnable to a store the bride likes and make sure to write a nice card.
Scully
I didn’t see the part about the gift cards; it looks like the bride wants them, so totally go for it! You don’t have to fuss about the wrapping. It all gets thrown away anyway. But if you’re crafty and have a few hours, google “gift card holders” for a million DIY solutions.
Anonymous
I just sent this to a friend who was getting married – appropriateness obviously depends on the age and style of the couple.
etsy.com/listing/73844112/personalized-and-custom-wedding-map?ref=pr_shop
Mondette
If you know where their plans, how about something targeted?
-A gift card for moving boxes and packing supplies from U-Haul if they have a lot of stuff to move (securely wrapped in bubble wrap, if they would think that was cute, rather than annoying).
-A day of maid service if they are already living together or are moving into a place where one of them already lives (tied to the handle of a feather duster, packaged in a wine bag).
-if you go with a typical gift card, how about packaging it with something realted, like Williams-Sonoma (or wherever they are registered) card with a small item from the store (even better if there are any little things left on the registry) like a whisk or garlic press?
Scully
These are all great ideas
Anon
I often send 2 tiffany crystal champagne glasses (and if its for the wedding gift, I will add a bottle of vintage champagne). You can get the glasses in a wide array of prices (like 30-50 bucks, up to 250) and everyone loves getting that blue box!
Bunkster
Lingerie? Or will there be old ladies in attendance?
My friend’s registry was so boring that I got a bottle of wine and this wine chiller (http://www.brookstone.com/ravi-instant-wine-refresher_9136385_2.html). And then I got them monogrammed tervis tumblers, plus the tervis monogrammed ice bucket as a wedding gift.
Diana Barry
If you live close to a nice home goods/gifts store, I would get a few pieces of regional pottery or something. I often get a large platter with pine trees on it from a store in Maine for weddings – very pretty and will remind the couple of that area. Everyone needs platters! :)
NYC
Do you live near an Anthropologie? They have the cutest aprons and they are my go-to non-registry shower gift. Some even have matching pot holders.
somewherecold
I got some really cute glasses, kitchen towels, and pot holders as a shower gift from Anthropologie.
If you have time to order online (or have a store near you that sells it), I like Fred and Friends kitchen stuff–they have it on Amazon. I got a mousetrap cheese board for someone, but I don’t know if they have that anymore or if stuff like that would be in your friend’s tastes.
eaopm3
At my bridal shower, I received a large, beautiful, hand-crafted pottery bowl (bowl made out of pottery? I’m not sure what the term might be…). Anyway, it’s not for serving, or anything, just for decoration, but I love it. I got a few other pieces of artwork that mean a lot to me as well. You ought to check some local shops or galleries that carry reasonably priced items. It will look like you put thought into the present and it’s the type of thing that she wouldn’t probably go out and buy for herself.
Lynnet
The handmade mugs we got for our wedding are, a year out, probably my favorite present. They’re both beautiful, and I use them every day.
anon for this
Speaking as someone who recently had a bridal shower: Gift cards are definitely always welcome. I would strongly suggest that you pick a gift from a store where the couple is registered – that way 1: you can ask the registry consultant to help you pick something that matches their style (some stores are better than this than others — the first location I registered at was very unhelpful, my “home” registry store where I pick up gifts has an amazing consultant that goes through everything with you and gives good advice), and 2: they can return it for store credit. Which they probably will be doing with a fair amount of even the things on their registries.
TBH, I hate to sound like a picky/ungrateful bride, but a lot of people got me off-registry gifts for my shower, and while I truly appreciate the thought they put into finding beautiful gifts – some of it is just a little bit useless. Like, some things are really lovely and totally suit us and I would never even have thought to register for them – but some things, for example, just have that “regift” aura (not even necessarily regifted, just that they are very generic, not all that useful, and not returnable for credit or returnable to a store we never go to). So it depends, I think, if you are a close friend, you know the bride’s style, you know what she might want without her having specifically thought to include it on her registry. But if you’re sort of a more distant family friend, definitely try to pick something they would want, but make it flexible for them to return it if what they really want is store credit to buy more everyday things.
Not sure if this comes across coherently or just spoiled – the thing is that as a bride you are really inundated with stuff and sometimes you just despair at what to do with all of it.
Anonymous
Please help us by sharing with us what gifts you think are “very generic, not all that useful.” I love giving gifts like picnic baskets, beach umbrellas, waffle irons, and beautiful salad bowls, and now I’m wondering if all of those gifts have what you call ‘that “regift’ aura.” Sigh.
Bunkster
I used to do stocked picnic baskets (e.g. wineglasses, cloth napkins or placemats, bottle of wine, etc), too.
I will also say that originally registries were designed to give people an idea of the couple’s tastes. You definitely don’t have to go with what’s on the registry.
And, kicking myself, the other thing you could do is look at the patterns of the china or dinnerware, and then get something in those patterns that they didn’t register for. For example, they may have registered for dinner plates, salad plates, etc in a particular pattern, but they may not have registered for the coffee mugs or the serving platter.
Sorry, all. I just don’t do the gift card thing, but if you’ve invited me to your wedding, I’m assuming you want me there and wouldn’t be picky about the gift.
anon for this
Honestly, it depends on who you’re buying for! I would rarely use a picnic basket or beach umbrella and would be stumped as to where to store such things (but I don’t live in a particularly beachy climate, except for 2-3 months of the year). A waffle iron is also not useful for me (I actually got one as a birthday gift years ago, use it occasionally, but it mostly takes up space). On the other hand, salad bowls I think are always useful, versatile, and are not as difficult to store (can be stacked). The worst offenders are things like pie plates and cake knives (and sometimes serving dishes that just look sort of like they were picked up randomly at Sears), I think, because they are not very original and not used very often. But all of this is just my personal taste so if you know a bride who loves to host brunches — a waffle iron is perfect and thoughtful. Or if you know they love parks and the outdoors – a picnic basket and a pair of champagne glasses is also lovely and will inspire their first date as newlyweds. So it’s very subjective.
Just try to keep in mind the lifestyle and tastes and aesthetic sensibility of who you’re buying for, and if you’re unsure, try to keep it flexible for them. I know gift giving can be tricky and people sincerely want to give something that will be useful and loved. The thing is just that (especially in a small apartment), you sometimes just can’t handle so many things and end up feeling bad because you want to appreciate the item but just can’t. So it gets returned, or gets stored in your mother-in-law’s basement! I do want to stress that the thought and effort is ALWAYS appreciated – just that sometimes a newlywed couple need flexibility and store credit more than they need 17 pie plates, cake knives, and stick blenders.
Honey Bear
“anon for this” – I agree with you. I think that if you didn’t get something off the registry, you should get a gift card to one of the stores that was mentioned, and then just write a really thoughtful, personal note in the card. They mentioned the gift cards and the stores for a reason.
Anonymous – FWIW, I would never use a picnic basket or a beach umbrella, but I would use a waffle iron or a nice salad bowl! However, I’d rather have a gift card so I could pick something out myself. :)
ML
I go back and forth on this…part of me hates the idea of registries in general (I really didn’t want to register for my own wedding), but on the other hand I agree with anon for this that some of the off registry stuff you get is great, and other stuff not so much. I received a beautiful salt and pepper shaker from william sonoma along with a gift card, and that salt and pepper shaker is one of my favorite things in our kitchen.
On the other hand, my sister in law gave us a beautiful, hand crafted vase that she found at an artisan shop that is SO not our style. If it was small, that would be one thing, but it is literally three feet tall. We got married right before law school and were living in tiny spaces, moving every year, etc. That fragile, huge, expensive vase became a huge pain in the ass. I never felt right giving it away, but couldn’t really afford to store it.
So, long story, but I’d recommend that if you go off registry you at least make it something small that can be easily stashed in a closet if neccessary.
Also, I woudl never use a picnic basket or beach umbrella and for me those go in the category of large, non-useful objects that I have to find room for in my tiny studio. But a salad bowl is always welcome!
Emily I
Ditto on the picnic baskets. We actually got two for wedding presents. (We didn’t register for either of them, and we didn’t know how/where to return them.) Both were nice quality and attractive, but we only used one of the once. After 10 years, I finally donated them, after moving with them four times.
They are thoughtful in theory, but when it comes time to take food and drinks to the park, we need a cooler and plates that are larger than the little saucers that came with our baskets. And, the handles were very awkward. Maybe a wine backpack or something like that would be more appreciated?
Lynnet
I think this is a kind of know your bride thing. I would have loved a picnic basket or beach umbrella, but by the time we got all of our gifts off the registry I never wanted to step foot in the store we registered at again. I really appreciated all of the off-registry stuff we got. It included stuff like Penzey’s spices (I’m going to have so much trouble going back to cheap spices when we run out), several pieces of pottery, and a half-case of wine.
Also, we had a waffle iron on the registry, and one of my favorite things about married life is our Sunday morning waffle tradition.
g
This.
A lot of people think “Oh, everyone can use a nice set of crystal candle sticks.” But if they could they would have registered for one! In our case, we didn’t register for a lot of that stuff b/c my husband inherited so much of it from his mom when she died. We returned almost everything we go that we hadn’t registered for (that we could…that’s a whole other story…). We returned a large chunk of the stuff we did register for because it turned out not to work so well in our house. Gift cards to the places where we registered were my most favorite favorite gifts because they gave us the flexibility to use later down the road as we realize we need stuff, or be put toward more expensive stuff we didn’t feel comfortable putting on the registry.
Also, this is going to sound really snotty but it’s honest…if you give a couple something they have to return you are giving them and errand. At least if you get it from somewhere they registered, they an probably return it with a bunch of other stuff, but if it’s from somewhere else, it can turn into a big pain having to run all over town to get little bits of store credit at several different places.
And also, don’t over think it. In the end the bride will remember that you showed up, not what you gave. And heartfelt notes are the best!
Eponine
If the couple asked for gift cards, I’d give them gift cards before I’d go completely off registry. I know some people think it’s rude to ask for specific gifts, but the reality is that many couples can’t afford a lot of items and that’s why they ask for specific gifts and gift cards. So I think it’s better to get them something they’ll definitely use and need, than to guess and end up getting them something they end up not needing.
You could put the gift card inside a greeting card and give it to them with flowers, chocolates, or something like that just to make it a bit more festive.
Anon
Also wanted to add that being a close friend and knowing a couple’s passions doesn’t necessarily equal giving a great gift, because the couple may have particular tastes or standards which are not in line with those of the gift-giver or the gift giver’s budget. In that case, the giftcard is always the best option!
As an example, we’re avid wine drinkers. Over the years our friends and family have given us more stuff then I can count because ‘you love wine’–every opener imaginable (including the Rabbit), carrying cases, decanting pouring spouts, plug-in chillers, etc.
90% of it has ended up being unused, then re-gifted or thrown out if it can’t be returned. We are never ungrateful when receiving the gift, but we have a very well stocked kitchen, combined with extremely strong preferences when it comes to accessories and high-quality glassware, and a condo with not a lot of storage space.
govvie
I’m more of a fan of anything longer than cap-sleeved. If a t-shirt has regular short sleeves or, better yet, elbow-sleeves, I’ll take a closer look. Those upper arms…. :( (yes, more push-ups/planks/rows needed)
Little Lurker
Last week I bought an amazing summer dress that needs a little tailoring love — the 1-inch-wide straps are two inches too long for me, but everything else fits perfectly (weird!). Suddenly I have a date for tonight and realized that the dress is perfect for the occasion/weather minus the obvious problem. So I plan to use a little double-stick tape and a cardigan and voila! :) (Will obviously head to the tailor’s after the weekend ends…)
Thanks, Kat for starting this website and founding such a great community — I never would have thought of that on my own!
PS also, thanks to everyone who offered tips on long-distance friendships. i really like the “short text update” idea.
Daenerys
Does anyone have recommendations regarding the Brooks Brothers fitted vs. tailored shirts? I’d like to take advantage of the sale (I’ve been looking to get new button-front shirts for awhile), but I don’t have a chance to try them on in-store so need to just make my best guess online. I will most likely be wearing them with slacks and skirts, not as part of a full suit.
Fiona
It depends on your frame. The tailored fit is quite fitted. I have a medium-sized chest, and I find the tailored fit to be a little too boob-emphasizing for the office, even though the fit is otherwise quite flattering. I think it would be a good fit if you have a smallish chest. I almost always wear the fitted fit – they skim your body and aren’t boxy at all, but don’t emphasize curves.
Brooks Brothers also has a killer return policy, so you could always order both and see what you like best.
Anonymous
I agree with Fiona. I am small of frame and bust and I’ve always wondered how/if women with more than an A cup can wear the tailored shirts, because my girls seem to take up all available space.
Another Sarah
Thirded. I’m currently wearing a tailored fit shirt, and it fits really nicely pretty much everywhere – shoulders, torso. Except there’s a teensy weensy gap (not that you can see anything through, but the stripes aren’t completely vertical) right at my chest. The arms are also a bit smaller than the Fitted cut, like smaller around. I’m a size 8 regardless of the BBros shirt.
North Shore
I’m a 36 B-cup, and wear size 6P in both fitted and tailored. They both fit fine, just depends on what you’re looking for. I generally prefer tailored. The only shirt there I’ve had a problem with is the Spago-type. On my shape, they’re too low cut, and are also longer and boxier so they have to be tucked, and I don’t like tucking.
D Cup
I, though bigger of chest, also wear the fitted shirts. The tailored is too tight across the chest and the looser fits (I’m not sure what they are called) make me look like a big square blob. Most women I know go tailored so I’d start with those, Daernerys.
Laura
The fitted run *very* fitted, as others have said. My fitted BB shirts are two sizes larger than my non-fitted ones. They are also shorter, and if you plan to tuck it in, it may be challenging.
I used to wear nothing but BB shirts (when I wore button-downs, anyway) until I discovered Talbot’s. The price point is similar, they are also non-iron, but I much prefer the fit.
Livia
Today is my last day at work before I go backpacking to South America and New Zealand for six months! I am so excited, and kind of ready for the day to end even though I’m not really doing anything. I don’t actually leave on my trip until July, but for various reasons it was better to leave work now. Most of the people in my office think I am totally insane, which is cracking me up.
I set up a blog last weekend, and it’s been awesome hearing feedback from random people in my life about it.
So excited, and I just had to share with you lovely ladies.
somewherecold
That is very exciting!
kz
Wow, that’s awesome! Have fun!
Pacsafe
Thanks for your Pacsafe recommendation yesterday. Have fun and travel safely!
Hel-lo
Yay! That’s awesome. Have a blast!
houda
enjoy and stay safe
Livia
Thanks, all!
Suited Up
I love this shirt! I got one almost 9 months ago, wear it to work or out probably once a week, throw it in the washing machine, and it still looks as good as new. It’s a flattering, thicker fabric, so it doesn’t show every bump or whatever underneath.
K
Can anyone commiserate with saying something automatically without really thinking about it and then being a little bit (or a lot) embarrassed? I accidentally told my boyfriend I loved him this morning, when we’ve only been dating for two months and haven’t said the “L” word yet. A “Love you, have a good day!” just kinda slipped out when I went to give him a kiss goodbye.
Fortunately it didn’t seem to make him uncomfortable, but part of me is still a little embarrassed. I do love him; I’m just not quite ready to tell him yet or start using the word. I’m going to have to keep my lips zipped from now on!
Almost-Lawyer
I totally did that with my ex– I accidentally said “Love you, bye!” and ran off to class, when we had never said the “L” word before. I was freaking out about it for a while, but then I talked to my mom who had very good advice: If the relationship is meant to be successful, it won’t matter. And if not, it still won’t matter. She was right, the relationship was not successful, and now it doesn’t matter! (Not saying yours won’t be successful, and the reason we broke up had nothing to do with the “L-word” incident…)
Honey Bear
Your mom sounds so wise (as most moms do!) and I totally agree with her advice. K, it’s great that your bf didn’t seem uncomfortable – maybe he has been wanting to say it too, but was afraid you would not say it back, so now he knows! Just try to act normal and don’t bring it up b/c that might make it more awkward for you.
K
Thanks, ladies! You’re both right – if it’s meant to work out, it will, regardless of the timing of the word or who says what when. :)
And I’m definitely going to act normal and not going to bring it up again (and hope and pray he didn’t hear me).
Anon for this
This happened to me once, only the I love you was on IM. It was unplanned and he didn’t chime I love you too! at that moment, but later on, in person, we had a serious and quite lovely conversation about it.
Francie Nolan
I can relate, at a previous job I was on the phone talking to a client and mindlessly said Love you, Bye! to him over the phone. Fortunately we were on good terms and he laughed and said you too, but I was mortified.
At least it was your boyfriend.
Honey Bear
That’s hilarious, Francie!
Unsub
I once said “Talk to you later, Honey” to my boss’s boss, our CFO. I must have been thinking of my husband that second. Luckily he just laughed and made fun of me for the rest of the year. Now we are good friends.
GovtMom
Heh. My boss told me she loved me a few weeks ago. It was a total slip, I think she was already into “going home” mode and was thinking of her daughter, then categorized me into daughter not lawyer. :-) Everyone does it at some point, just laugh it off.
somewherecold
Did anyone watch Better Off Ted before it was canceled? The main character said “I love you” to a woman after their first date/night together, so he said he meant to say “I love Utah,” and then he made up a story about being Native American and made up a language. So yes, acting normal sounds like a good plan.
Scully
Bwahaha! I forgot about that. Such a funny show
anon
loved that show! i want it back!!!
Hel-lo
That show was wonderful. I especially loved that he was a single dad… and the guys in the lab… and the women in his office… and, and, and.
Loved that show.
AJ
I’m hoping the Corporette hivemind can help me with this one: what do you get a guy who has or buys everything?
My brother’s birthday is coming up. He’s a financial consultant based in Chicago who part-owns and manages a bar, has a beloved boxer, and a vacation house in Michigan he spends lots of time at. He never wants anything, and his hobby is working on the house as far as I can tell. I just have…no idea. I’d like to keep it under $100.
anon
if he owns/manages a bar I assume he likes beer – what about some sort of home brewing kit, or a beer of the month membership – I’ve seen things like that online where you can sign the guy up and every month they’ll send him some kind of awesome, unique beer.
AJ
You’d think, but no. He’s much more into the food – and frankly, the business aspect. It’s the nerdy accountant coming out, I expect!
s in Chicago
I’m a huge dog lover. You’ll have to weigh the degree he is for this one… But one of the best presents I ever received was a gift certificate to have my dog’s portrait done. (My 14-year old terrier passed last spring and the photos–which were stunning–mean everything.) I got another certificate on Mother’s Day and can hardly wait to schedule some time with my new little guy. We used Michelle Lytle http://www.michellelytle.com/pet-portraits.html but there are a ton of places around.
E
Gift card to home depot and a new hammer?
S
what about a high-quality tool from a place he can return/exchange if he already has a good version of it? (to use for working on his house).
Eponine
Gift certificate to a restaurant.
Hel-lo
Maybe a nice, masculine apron? I made aprons for my brothers a year or so ago for Christmas, and they wear them all the time. (They’re made out of “masculine” fabric – navy and a brown stripe. Think BBQ apron, but nicer material, and no stupid slogan.)
Silicon Valley in House
Threadjack — Lots of gift advice queries today, so I will add another. Between them, my two children (2nd and K) have four teachers (one lead and one assistant). I always struggle with what to get them and usually end up with a $50 gift certificate to Amazon or a local bookstore. Any better ideas? Is the amount about right?
Thanks!
SF Bay Associate
I have friends in the area who are elementary school teachers, so I asked them. They said, first, thank you very much for thinking of your children’s teachers. As teachers, they work very hard for not a lot of financial compensation, but they love their jobs and they love their students, including your children.
Second, the preferred gift is something I’ve never heard of called a “scrip.” It is a special gift certificate that the schools sell a few times a year which seems to function like a multi-store gift card. Businesses like Target or B&N register with the school’s scrip program, and then teachers use their scrip to shop at those stores at an additional discount. It’s a better rate of return for the teachers than a regular gift card.
But given that scrips sound inconvenient, I asked for alternatives. Second choice would be a giftcard to Target, or a mall, or especially a mall with a Target. Third choice would be a giftcard to Amazon. Please, no mugs, no clothes, no arts and crafts, no jewelry, and no religious materials.
In our area, $25-50 is standard, unless you are in a posh area like Los Altos, where the range is more $50+. The teachers spend more than half of the gifts they get on classroom materials (and for gifts under $25, basically all of it), so it goes straight back to the students.
Silicon Valley in House
Thank you, SF Bay Associate! Target it is! I am in SF, at a private school. My kids also write a letter to the teachers, thanking them for the year, as do I. I so appreciate what they do, so everything always seems inadequate. I’ll look for the scrip next year.
Bride
I hate to sound daft, but I need advice and am a little embarassed to ask anyone else for fear of looking ridiculous.
Can someone please explain to me the way to tip for wedding vendors–specifically, the caterer? There will be waitstaff serving a plated dinner and bartenders. There’s a line in the invoice that says “labor,” but I’m not sure if this includes a gratuity. (from the price of the labor in the line item, the waitstaff is being paid hourly-hourly (not the $2 hour waitstaff minimum wage)) Do I give them cash in an envelope the actual reception(?) If yes, cash to everyone individually, or to the person who’s heading it up? Fifteen percent on top of the food charge alone, or the charge for setup and linen/china rental and all of the rest of the getup? I promise that I haven’t just fallen off of a turnip truck, but I literally haven’t really ever thought of this before. I hate to sound stingy, but the catering is already very pricy–I want to make sure that everyone is tipped adequately, but I’m not really interested in double paying!
I also read that you’re supposed to “feed” the photographers–which is totally cool with me, but they’ll be running around, correct? I’ve seen a “sandwich” suggestion, (I guess becuase they’re portable?) but I’m trying to picture how to non-awkwardly procure and serve sandwiches to the photographers.
Lastly, I am stressed about colleague invitations. I’ve invited people that I work with often and enjoy socializing with. This seem to leave out one person from several groups that hang out socially and who I don’t know well. I don’t mind inviting these people, but I really don’t know them well–I’m afraid that THEY’LL be confused (their wives, who will invariably open the invites, will not know who I am). Thoughts?
anon for this
Totally with you on these puzzles! Here are my suggestions/what I’ve heard:
1. Tips: Call your caterer and ask if gratuity is included. Mine charges it (17%) automatically on the bill, so I don’t have to handle envelopes with cash for that at least. If yours doesn’t (and they should tell you, unless they’re creepy scammers), I would tip on top of food only, not on top of all the other catering services (I just looked at my preliminary email quote from my caterer and it’s not clear on this, so I’m not 100% sure about this, but this is how I would lean). And I would give an envelope with cash to the head waiter or whoever is “running the show” to distribute (but not in big bills so it’s easily divided). Also, deputize someone (a mom, a friend, an aunt, a sibling) to hand out the tip envelopes – don’t do it yourself! Just include a little thank you note inside. I have a giant wedding planning book at home and can check that tonight and report back if you like.
2. Some photographers specifically require a hot meal in their contract, not a sandwich. It’s nicer to provide that for them, and your venue/caterer should be used to handling this – they’ll have some place where they can have a break to sit down and eat something. They’re on their feet for hours so they will need more than a sandwich on the go, IMO.
3. I still have no idea how to handle this one! I’m thinking of inviting just my section (6ish people) and one person who sits near me, with plus ones. This includes a couple people I’m not social with but feel uncomfortable excluding — but tbh I do not know how to handle this so your guess is as good as mine..
src
For colleagues the main thing is to have a clear line between those you invite and those you don’t. I can’t quite tell what you’ve done, but I might invite those in my immediate group but not others. Excluding people individually would rankle, by work division, much less so.
If you’re concerned, perhaps host a cocktail hour for colleagues after you return from your honeymoon?
somewherecold
1. I think you just need to ask your caterer if gratuity is included and if so, who it is for. I agree with anon for this on the distribution method. Have prepared envelopes with cash labeled for each person you want to tip, and ask a family member or friend to give them out for you.
2. Check your contracts, and if it’s not specified, ask your photographer. Your caterer should have a vendor meal that is cheaper than what you are paying for your guests. (Ours has the photographers order off their regular restaurant menu and then they bring the food to them in the ballroom.)
3. If you’re already inviting a lot of work people and you can afford to host one more couple, I would invite the person as long as you would make small talk/know their name/etc. In that situation, it seems like the potential for hurt feelings is higher if you don’t invite the coworker than if you do. I wouldn’t use the “does their spouse know me” as a gauge for whether or not to invite a coworker, though.
Happy planning!
Eponine
1. Ask the caterer if a gratuity is included. In my area, it’s standard to include 18% in the catering bill, which the caterer will distribute to the waitstaff. If it’s not included, the caterer may discourage you from tipping waitstaff (some actually have a policy against it). If the caterer suggests that you tip, then ask if it’s preferable to include it with the total payment or to pay the waitstaff directly. Almost certainly the caterer will instruct you to do the former.
2. Ask the photographer (actually my best friend is a wedding photog) what he or she prefers – a full meal or a sandwich or whatever. If a regular meal is fine, then just add the photographer to the meal count with the caterer. If s/he asks for a sandwich or something, ask the caterer to bring one for him.
3. I don’t think anyone expects to be invited to the wedding of someone they don’t know well. However, if you’re concerned about offending someone, I’d ask a friend from that particular social group who knows the uninvited person well if she thinks you should invite that person. If she says the person would be offended, then go ahead and invite him.
eaopm3
Caterer: I agree with the previous poster, that you simply ought to ask your caterer how the waitstaff is tipped. Then, look at your itemized bill and tip over 15% on the cost of the food for the waitstaff and alcohol for the bartenders. The caterer surely has experience with such a question and can best guide you.
Photographer: Feed the photographer the same meal you serve to your guests. I doubt he or she will be taking photos of your guests eating, nor would you really want photos of your guests eating, so dinnertime is the perfect time for him or her to take a break. You might also look at the contract as previously suggested. My photographer was with me from 10 in the morning until 11 at night, so I made sure we had lunch and dinner for her.
Colleague invitations: I can’t help you here. I invited no one from my office because our wedding had such a small guest list and I hadn’t been working at this office for very long.
The general problem with wedding guest lists is that it seems that if you invite Couple X or Aunt B, it seems to necessitate inviting Couple Y or Aunt C. I thought to myself: “Would this person be surprised or confused to be invited to our wedding? Would I feel that way about his or her wedding? Does inviting this person make me look more gift-grabby than a bride extending a gracious invite?”
I cut a lot of people from our list that way :)
elle
Question on top of this one: Do you NEED to give a plus-one? It’ll end up adding about 10 people to my total count and I don’t even really know the 10 people I work with that well. TIA.
Bunkster
Nope. If you have a friend who has been seeing someone for a long time then you send the invitation to both of them, but otherwise it’s not required and shouldn’t be expected.
I’m single. I’ve been to 5 weddings in the past year. I didn’t receive any plus-ones and I didn’t expect to.
And, honestly, people should understand that if you wanted to have 260 people, instead of 250, the extra 10 people would be people you know and would want to celebrate with.
anon
Depends. If your co-workers are married/in equivalent style relationships, you must invite both of them. If not, it’s up to you, but if that means most of them will attend with a spouse, it would be nice to invite the singles with a +1.
elle
Thanks! I didn’t make it clear that all were coworkers. All except one is married (and she’s actually quite recently divorced). I think I’ll just invite all of them +1. Chances are they won’t come anyway, since it’ll be out of town, but I agree extending the invite is definitely the right thing to do.
Valleygirl
1) our venue was inclusive (catering + staff+ bar tenders + planner) so we gave the planner a large tip to be distributed amongst the staff (the best man actually volunteered to pass out all the checks/payments day of which was a huge help – we just gave him envelopes with the name/person that included the cash/checks). I think we gave 15% off the top of the total cost because we were tipping approx 25 people. Also we gave them excellent reviews on yelp, etc. after the wedding and got thank you emails from them for that.
2) Towards the end of the dinner hour our DJ, photogs and planner all had a quick dinner. The DJ put on a 15-20 min play list – and they all gave us a head’s up that they were going to take a quick break to eat. They just had the main course of what guests were eating- and our venue provided those meals at half the cost of the normal guest’s meal. Check with your cater if they have a price break for vendor meals. And ask the photog what they’d prefer to do and try to schedule a time when they can eat (generally towards the end of the dinner when people are finishing up meals?) – and if you have two photogs you may want to stagger the timing.
3) I had a couple of people like this – I invited them (figured cost at the wedding was worth the social capital at work) – most didn’t come, one did was a great guest (i.e., making nice convos with other people, gave us a nice gift, could tell they were really flattered to be invited) and it actually got us closer at work.
I need help from you-all
I’m a frequent poster who feels compelled to be anonymous for this.
In short, I need advice from someone familiar with the ADA. I’m a government litigator with two decades of work in the same office. Last year, I had to make frequent visits to the ER due to acute diverticulitis. Pain was intolerable. After CT scans I was diagnosed, given IV antibiotics (at times, one in each arm) and IV pain meds, and then booted out.
Over time, I began to recognize the symptoms before I had to go to the ER, and my internist would prescribe industrial grade antibiotics over the telephone. However, last Fall, while on antibiotics, I began vomiting at work, had unbearable gut pain, and an ambulance was called. I was admitted for two weeks because my gut burst from the infection and I developed sepsis.
Two months later, a surgeon removed 2 – 3 feet of my colon –partial colectomy (his answer varies on how many feet were removed). I was hospitalized and took 6 weeks off work. It’s been three months since my return and I’m having terrible problems raging from fecal impaction to constipation to uncontrollable diarrhea (so sorry for the TMI). Lots of morning pain. Because my colon has been shortened by several feet, the “action” comes quickly, usually with little or no warning. Again, with TMI, I’ve had to turn around while driving to work, shower, and change all my clothes.
Lately, I’ve been coming to work a few minutes late (less than 15 minutes). The reason is the D-word. When I get the my parking structure, I run to the bathroom in the structure. I stay there until the Problem is mostly over, and I walk to work.
Suddenly and without notice to me, my boss has begun deducting 30 minutes of annual leave every time I’m a little late. Many of our staff is late; they pick up a Starbucks coming in, etc., but I am the only one singled out like this.
I explained to my boss the morning problem I have; he nodded, and yet he continues to take my vacation pay when I’m only a few moments late. I googled ADA, irritable bowel syndrome, and accommodations. (My docs say I have IBS secondary to healing problems from my partial colectomy and that it may go on for several more months or forever).
The recommended ADA accommodation for IBS, which is primarily a morning problem, is that the employee is allowed to come in late and leave late. I have no idea how to begin the process. Do I get a letter from the doctors? Do I retain an attorney? What is the process?
I’m insulted, and hurt, and angry, and puzzled. And I’m a complete civilian when it comes to ADA issues. I also sick at heart at the disrespect implied in my management’s actions. And, also, I know that someone is spying on me and reporting when I come in late, which is also heartbreaking. I really like my colleagues, including the legal assistants (fka “secretaries”).
Sorry this post is as long as the Fall Vogue magazine, but please, can someone offer some suggestions?
Thank you so much for your anticipated suggestions/help. I so distressed, I dread going to work . I have started seeing a shrink.
Thanks again.
Ay-non
Employment lawyer here, frequent poster but I’m using a different name for this response. Talk to your boss and whatever the HR equivalent is in government and formally request a reasonable accommodation for your Problem. I would do this in writing (email). I wouldn’t retain an attorney yet, I think you’d just be wasting money at this point and before you know if you’ll receive a reasonable accommodation yet.
Your Employer may request a diagnosis – possibly beyond what your current doctor can already provide (at least in the corporate world, if the employer requests a second opinion, the employer pays that cost). The regulations regarding reasonable accommodations and the protections under the ADA have very recently (within the past month) have gone into effect and they are much broader than they were previously.
Are you paid hourly? Or are you salaried? Do you know if your boss is counting those 15 minute increments as FMLA leave? You’ll want to get all the specifics regarding that, as well.
I need help from you-all
Hi, thanks for the information. I am a salaried employee. We are a small litigation office in the federal government, and our so-called “HR” person is the boss
I need help from you-all
. . . whoops, I got cut off. Our HR person is the boss’s secretary. She has no HR training, just the title. And she’s the one I believe is checking the clock when I come in. They are taking annual leave, not FMLA. We’ve got a new computerized timekeep system. When I turn on my office email, I discover as the first entry that I’ve just lost 1/4 hour annual leave.
My new trick is to park illegally outside my building, run to my desk, run to the bathroom on our floor, take care of business, and then run to my desk, grab my car keys and move my car to the parking structure. It’s just so silly and dememeaning.
sara
No advice here, but sympathy. So sorry you have to deal with awful people in addition on top of your health issues!
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