Thursday’s Workwear Report: High-Rise Wide-Leg Drapey Ponte Pant
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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
I recently lost my favorite olive green Colette pants to an unfortunate salad dressing incident, so I’m looking for something with a similar vibe. These drapey ponte pants from Banana Republic Factory are the best replacement I’ve found so far.
Olive is a surprisingly versatile wardrobe color. I typically wear it with navy, red, or black, but I’ve also loved seeing it paired with dark purple, yellow, and sky blue. For summer, I would wear these pants with a crisp white oxford and some comfy flats.
The pants are $94.99 at Banana Republic Factory and come in sizes XXS-XXL and XXSP-LP. They also come in black and “cream white.”
Sales of note for 7/11:
- Nordstrom – Designer clearance, up to 60% off!
- Ann Taylor – Semi-annual sale, 60% off sale and 40% off everything — readers love this blouse and I always love the variety of colors/textures for this jacket (it's a great separate)
- Athleta – Extra 30% off semi-annual sale, up to 60% off reader favorites like Brookyn and Endless pants
- AYR – Ooh, good sale section — but lots on final sale. Readers love (LOVE) these comfy work pants and these jeans.
- Banana Republic – Summer sale up to 60% off sale styles + extra 20% off
- Brooks Brothers – Up to 40% off sitewide + 40% off 3+ items
- Cuyana – Archive sale, up to 60% off
- Evereve – Extra 30% off sale!
- The Fold – Up to 50% off, further markdowns
- Hobbs – Up to 50% off, extra 30% off sale
- J.Crew – 50% off select cashmere
- J.Crew Factory – 60% off clearance
- Lo & Sons – Summer sale, up to 50% off
- Lululemon – Summer sale!
- Margaux – Save up to 50% off, including archive sale
- Me & Em – Sale! Up to 50% off (new lines just added)
- M.M.LaFleur – 25% off jardigans (Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off on other items)
- Nordstrom Rack – Clear the rack, extra 25% off clearance! Nice selection of Vince, Veronica Beard, Reiss and Rag & Bone, a ton of affordable work dresses from Calvin Klein, Maggy London, Eliza J, and Donna Morgan
- Strathberry – Up to 30% off select styles
- Talbots – 40% off your entire purchase + extra 15% off markdowns
I have so much loose skin after having two kids and I wanted to get a tummy tuck and breast lift. I have two concerns, 1) I know its a long and painful recovery period and I’m worried about my kids (girls, 11 and 8) seeing me in that state and being traumatized or scarred by it, and 2) this sounds odd, but they always enjoy playing with the loose skin on my tummy and they will want to know where it went and will likely feel sad (and I’m not exactly sure how to explain I got rid of it without them somehow internalizing it and viewing their own bodies differently as they grow). Anybody gone through this before or have advice they’re willing to share?
No advice on the TT piece since I’m still noodling it over for the same reasons you mentioned, but I had a reduction earlier this year and it was life changing – I had some discomfort but very little pain. I explained to my kids that I was doing it to help with my back pain, and they seemed to get it.
To me these sound potentially like healthy and age appropriate lessons about bodies and other people’s bodies in a best case scenario where everything goes really well. But there are risks, and I think I would worry about both these concerns (trauma and also how bodies are viewed) if things went poorly.
I would put a stop to the playing with the loose skin no matter what you do. At this age they need to be learning the concepts of privacy and bodily integrity.
If you have the tummy tuck, you can simply explain that the extra skin was uncomfortable.
+1 – I’m planning on a upper tummy tuck/lift in a few years and it’s because the extra skin is uncomfortable/chafes in the heat and as I hit perimenopause it’s driving me nuts on a daily basis.
I’m not trying to be judgmental but the second concern is a little odd to me. I still cuddle my 10 year old but the idea of him playing with my stomach is not something I’d personally want to encourage at this age. That’s ok. All families are different. Maybe this is my weird hang up.
If what you’re really asking is how you explain this to them I think you can be honest. You get to change your body for you if you want. Certainly their desire to “play” with your body parts doesn’t take precedent over what you’d like to do with your body. I think it’s a good lesson for young girls actually.
It’s deeply unpopular here but I’m completely neutral about all things beauty. Aesthetic choice to me are not moral choices. It’s ok to want cosmetic surgery in order to like the way you look. It’s risky and permanent but it’s not morally problematic to want to change something about your appearance. It’s ok to want to like the way you look. It’s ok to use family resources to do that, within reason of course. Thats something I’m not afraid to tell my daughter.
Finally, for what it’s worth. I’ve only known a few people who have done this and they all look great and say they’d do it again, despite the difficult recovery.
This kind of surgery doesn’t require that type of explanation. It’s to fix damage and discomfort.
Maybe. But if it’s about wanting to look different that’s ok too.
It’s ok to want to change how you look, but if OP wants to avoid that conversation she doesn’t need to have it because there is a simpler health-related rationale.
I agree. But my point is if there is cosmetic rationale it might be a gift to her kids to address that head on. Op doesn’t tell us why she wants it, but for most woman I’ve know there is a cosmetic motivation. I think it would be confusing to pretend something is purely medical when it isn’t. Teaching them that loose skin and breasts that sit lower than they used to is always a medical problem is not a perfect solution.
She seems worried about sending anything other than a body-positive message to her kids.
no offense but i cannot imagine inviting my kids to play with my fluffy tummy in any way that would not be self-derogatory or in a way that would not make a negative impression on them about loose skin, fluffy skin, reinforcing the ideal of a flat stomach, etc. we talk about our fat tummies all the time but i’ve got boys, i think the equation is different for girls. (but they ain’t touching it!)
I think if it was caused by their own births, it’s probably just normal to them? (It’s not like they saw a previously existing flat stomach?)
It’s super weird that they are playing with it, though.
I think it seems weird because of their ages now. Seems completely normal for a very small child.
I mean…my kids’ births did a lot damage. They didn’t “enjoy playing with” my body as preteens. The idea that a 12 year old is going to lift up her mom’s shirt looking for skin to play with and be sad if it’s gone is very strange to me. The fact that her birth caused it doesn’t make it any more normal to me.
I think some kids are more sensitive to change of any kind than others! I just think it’s fine for them to be sad. It’s somebody else’s body; they don’t actually get a say. Mom could be projecting here if it’s more about memories though.
Gotta admit, this skeeves me out a bit. I don’t want my kids “playing” with my body, especially at these ages. Every family is different, but once I was done nursing my kids, I desperately wanted my body to be my own again.
Agree that at 8 and 11 they are probably too big to be playing with your body like that. You can just tell them the loose skin was uncomfortable for you and that’s that.
I had a tummy tuck about 13 years ago and have been very happy with the results. The recovery is quite grueling but it was more than worth it. Two pieces of advice: (1) If possible, book yourself a stay in a surgical aftercare facility for at least one night. Some of them are stand-alone facilities (I used this one: https://www.beverlyhillssurgicalaftercare.com/) and some of them rent hotel rooms. It’s like a cross between a hospital and a cruise ship: They are staffed with nurses and will feed you, take care of your bandages and drains, give your your meds, and generally keep an eye on things. It’s expensive but in my experience is totally worth the money. Going home the same day after such a big surgery would have been really scary. That goes double if you have kids at home. (2) No matter how much recovery time the doc estimates, double it. I was off work for four weeks and happy for every minute of it. I could have hobbled back after two weeks but it would have been horrible.
The surgical aftercare facility sounds awesome, but on the other hand the mere existence of these facilities is a sad commentary on the state of medical care in the US. It is downright scary how hospitals and insurance companies decide to send people home immediately after serious surgical procedures.
It’s dangerous; a lot of times the surgical team and anesthesiology are really on top of comorbidities and contraindications, and then post-op is… not.
No kidding! I swear I felt half dead after my tummy tuck — I would have been terrified to go home. I spent two nights in the aftercare facility and was so glad I did.
It’s for cosmetic purposes and likely not covered by insurance at all.
Yes but they still do it outpatient, which is insane to me. (Possibly to keep the cost down since it’s largely private pay.)
I was probably 8 or 9 when my mom got bre@st implants because she was unhappy with how things looked after feeding two kids. And that was the entire explanation about why she got them.
I have one of the healthiest body images of any woman who I know. I’m 45 and think I look great, and I always have. My mom’s messaging in my youth was about healthy and strong (and this was in the 90s!), which is what my body is. She also said that we have agency over our bodies and we can change things that we do not like, which she did. I think this was a healthy approach. Perhaps it helped that she otherwise was very low maintenance on all things beauty – she didn’t wear makeup, had simple hair and didn’t color, grew out her underarm hair for awhile to see if she liked it, and didn’t share criticism about her body.
Help me find a pair of jeans I saw a woman wearing in an airport that looked perfect. I am kicking myself for not asking her where she got them.
Important info: she and I are both petite (matters for length requirements) and we are both very slim (making fitting challenging based on what I have already ordered and returned)
Jeans description: cropped hitting mid-shin, finished hem, appeared to be straight leg cut (not skinny and not flared), standard denim blue color.
I have tried searching at Nordstrom and Googled generally and am not coming up with anything that matches this description. I ordered one pair of Kut jeans that were “cropped” and hit my ankle and were too big anyway (no smaller sizes available).
Any help is greatly appreciated!
Maybe try searching for capris?
Could they have been regular capris worn as petite crops? Or from the kids department? My 5’1, 100lb sister does the latter regularly.
I would check out the brand Mother. They have petite cuts. They also have lots of straight leg jeans, and I find their regular length cropped styles are way, way to cropped for me (tall skinny person).
Thank you!
I’m going to guess they’re Mother. Their cropped jeans are the best. “Little Mother” style is for petites.
Is it just me or has Mother’s quality declined precipitously since they started blending fibers other than cotton and spandex into their denim? I stopped buying them after multiple pairs developed holes at the corners of the pockets after just a few months.
Mackenzie Horan is your size and a few weeks ago did a massive jeans try on and reviewed her faves on Insta Reels – should be not too hard to find.
Also, consider that she may have had them hemmed to the exact right length.
Check Amo or Frame. Both have lots of cropped options with finished hems and straight legs.
Frame, Paige, and Good American all have petite jeans like that.
Kut runs notoriously large. I am a 26 in jeans and a loose 2 in vanity-sized brands, and I take a 00 in Kut.
What are wearing to summer classic rock arena concerts when we are going for a work / client event? I feel like jeans, boots, and white or black elevated tee?
And the men are in what? Polo and denim or khakis? This is for older men who are not particularly buff and may get a lot of clothes from Costco. I will get asked.
Clients can wear what they want but we are friends so they may ask me also.
Indoors or out?
I’d probably wear a casual cotton sundress.
Perhaps not the most helpful, but if your entire group of people, from coworkers to clients, won’t know what to wear, then . . . there’s really nothing to worry about. It doesn’t sound like anyone in this whole group is the kind to dress inappropriately if they’re just told wear jeans/t-shirt or whatever else makes them feel ready to enjoy an evening at a rock concert.
Indoors or outdoors is the big deciding factor for me. I melt in the heat so generally wear a longer cotton dress/skirt for air flow with comfortable fashion sneakers. I expect to get sweaty/stuff spilled on me/smell like candy scented vape after a concert so I don’t wear anything precious or that can’t be thrown in the wash.
My husband usually wears golf-adjacent attire – birddogs/vuori/faherty stretchy shorts, performance polo, and fun sneakers.
Spot on.
Polo and Khakis at a big rock concert would stand out in a bad way. Even in boxes it’s usually black pants/jeans and a band tee or more of like a linen button up situation.
I feel like this is harder for men who may be shopping for XL polos. Maybe a good dad look vs a try-hard? Especially if you are in a suite.
But I would not go with a sundress. Classic rock arena concerts are not a Tuckernuck vibe. I feel like it is a medium or dark denim situation.
My last concert (Heart!) was a couple of years ago, but IIRC, I wore boot-cut jeans, a plain black tee from Banana Republic, and very old cowboy boots. To a suite (so in the A/C) in an NBA arena. With a clear bag that I think was a quart-sized ziplock (sort of a fail, but I just cannot keep up with each venue’s rules). I cannot recall what my husband wore (so: it was unremarkable and did not seem to matter much).
I went to a Stevie Nicks concert and all of the women were in black fringed / Ren-Fest looking items or concert tees. Men were also unremarkable. All depends on the band maybe.
I think a cotton polo or linen shirt with cotton chino shorts, especially if there were some weathering, would fly under the radar much better than golf clothes made of tech fabric.
Agreed. Husband is a Duluth Trading Company guy and I feel like that is better than tech stuff. IDK why but tech fabric golf-ish items do no favors for older and larger guys. I feel like they need a thicker cotton polo and not something slick and drapey.
I go to a lot of classic rock concerts.
I would advise a guy to wear jeans and a tee, or an untucked short sleeve camp-type shirt. If it’s too hot for jeans, shorts are OK. No polo shirts or khakis.
That said, I’m going to see Todd Rundgren tonight – I’ll report back.
This. I also go to a lot of rock concerts. If it is outdoors, I wear a LLL tennis skirt (yay pockets) and a black top (how much coverage depends on who I am going with). Husband does similar but with technical shorts + black shirt or band shirt. For indoors, it’s jeans + a black top. Shoes are generally sneakers as I am now old and cannot stand for three hours in cute shoes. Converse has some great extra cushioned options that you can order.
+1, this sounds right. I think polos would not fit the vibe of a rock concert, though I don’t know if it matters much!
This is how my husband dresses for this type of concert.
Golf clothes would look ridiculous. But I always think they make a guy look like a jerk when they are worn in a setting other than a golf course.
PSA for anyone in need of a winter coat, Neiman Marcus has an extra 25% off their sale styles and some truly great brands at 50-70% off. I have a gift card that’s been gathering dust and think this is the perfect use!
Am considering a pretty drastic haircut and would love to know if anyone has used one of those apps where you can virtually “try on” different haircuts before going under the scissors. If you found one you liked and thought was realistic, will you share?
I use chat gpt for this.
I just did this last week, and chatgpt worked much better than the apps that were specifically advertised as hair/aesthetics previewers.
I uploaded a pic and wrote a description of hair type. And I asked for a range of different styles that within the reasons I was going a certain length (ie, long enough to tie back)
I just go old school and use bobby pins to pin it and see.
But I have curly hair so the AI doesn’t really get me and my hair.
We bought a Samsung top loader washer from Costco (which has 90-day returns) and aren’t super satisfied with it. Any recommendations for your favorite washers? Strongly prefer top loader because I hate the odor and inherent design flaws of the doors on front loaders but will ultimately consider anything that’s good for the price. Speed Queen isn’t really in budget.
Why aren’t you satisfied with it?
It’s leaving some residue on athletic clothes in particular. We use detergent sheets and don’t think we’re using too much.
Not trying to convince you to keep the Samsung, but are you open to using other detergent brands or types?
Some sheets are known for doing this regardless of the machine.
+1 we use pods specifically made for our kind of washing machine.
I don’t think it’s the detergent this time – have used it in various Airbnb machines too without issue.
Detergent sheets have plastics in them as binding agents. I would suggest using either a liquid or powder instead.
Try washing with Nathan’s sports wash and see if the problem is still there.
I would switch to liquid detergent. For athletic clothes, I swear by Hex.
I like front loaders and not-smart laundry machines with knobs, and I honestly love the totally basic GE model that I got last year to replace a much fancier machine that had come with my house and kept breaking. It gets things very clean, but it’s gentle on delicates.
+1 to the most basic version you can find. I had to replace a fancy LG and the repair tech suggested Speed Queen, Whirlpool, or GE, with as few bells and whistles as possible.
If speed queen isn’t in budget would you be open to a refurbished vintage machine? Lots of repair guys have a side business saving old work-horses. I have a Kenmore from the 90s and I love it.
This is my plan if my 40 year old top loader ever dies (which it shows no signs of doing). I don’t care how ugly it is or how dated it looks if it just does its job without drama.
Maytag has a commercial line that is very good. I bought one years ago because some washing machine expert on Youtube said it was a good alternative to Speed Queen. It is called “commercial” but is marketed for home use (probably only for home use). I bought the version with no wifi or digital interface, as I wanted knobs only. I wash nearly everything on one of the high-water options, but a lot of machines do not have that option. I found machines that select the water level themselves do not use enough, and a model that did not let me override that setting made me crazy.
I’ve had my top loader Samsung from Costco and it’s fine (better than my prior Whirlpool which left a lot of lint stuck to clothing). I use liquid detergent though.
We have an LG top loader from Lowe’s that is working well. our clothes seem cleaner than from our old washer.
Model?
Has anyone here made a big career change after several years in another industry?
I have 10+ years in management consulting and contemplating going to PA school. I initially wanted to practice medicine but undergrad loans and concerns about going four more years post college without income steered me on a different path.
My friend was in biglaw and then in-house as a securities lawyer, and became a speech therapist, which she’s been doing for around 15 years now. She took a part time law job while she was doing some of her speech masters work.
My partner changed paths to become a physical therapist in his 30s. Be prepared to work hard in grad school. It isn’t easy. But if this was a dream of yours already, I could see you flourishing. My partner wasn’t academically oriented, so grad school might be easier for you.
Healthcare is an in-demand, very stable field, compared to my own at least. Not only are healthcare workers needed with the baby boomer population creating a large need, it’s also less vulnerable to AI in the coming decades. The investment of time and money can pay off over the long run. But healthcare is also one of those fields that is more susceptible to burnout. You can find niches that are better than others.
I know a guy who was an associate at Cadwalader (or whatever they are called now) and went to med school. I would definitely go to PA school, but IDK how the current student loan landscape will look like. I’d also go to the one program within an hour of my house because I can’t afford the cost of not working + a second housing payment without majorly reworking my life. My understanding is that really no one wants to be in med school due to the debt + years of not making $, so it has gotten much harder to get into PA school (maybe longer odds than med school). How seriously have you looked into it? Do you have your pre-reqs done and stellar grades and the patient contact hours (that last one trips up a lot of academically qualified people)? I know a LOT of people who have become EMTs to get the patient contact hours needed (and the practical skills of vitals, med administration for some meds, analytical thinking, etc.). I took the class as a working adult and it was beyond fascinating. In my city (maybe yours), you can sign some waivers and do a ride-along with the ambulance crews.
I feel like one or more posters has been toying with this a lot. Have you taking to the doctors and pas and nurses in your life? Because everyone from my pediatrician friend, to my buddy who owns a surgical clinic, to the pa who does my Botox is stressed out and miserable right now. One friend, a their generation physician just quit her hospital job with zero plan.
It seems like everyone is stressed out and miserable at their jobs right now, no matter the field. Everyone is having grass-is-greener fantasies, but what is really needed is a change in the structure of our economy that currently gives too much power to a few extremely wealthy people who own everything and take advantage of workers.
+1
And some people are right that a change is as good as a rest and would benefit from a change, others are just gonna be miserable no matter what.
I’m going to Italy in a couple of weeks! Going with my husband who has never been to Europe (I’ve been to France once). We will be in Venice for 3 days then the Prosecco Hills region for another 3 days (a wedding!).
Where do you well-travelled ladies like to keep your passport? Hotel room in a suitcase vs locked in a safe? Inside my zipped crossbody bag (both mine and my husbands?)? Money belt (as Rick Steves recommends)? Am I overthinking this?
have always left ours in the hotel safe, except for shopping in stores that do the VAT paperwork for you. Technically perhaps you’re supposed to have it on you… we have photos of them on our phones and keep paper copies in our suitcases.
I’m super paranoid and keep it on my person at all times.
Same. I keep it zipped in a pocket in my crossbody bag. You never know when you’re going to need it for VAT paperwork, also I just feel like it’s safer on my person than in the hotel.
And my husband is in charge of his own passport. He keeps it zipped in a pocket of his travel pants.
I would never just leave it in my suitcase in a hotel room. Either securely on my body or locked in a safe.
All family members in our household also have photos of all our IDs.
Inside zipped pocket of a cross body bag that also zips or in the hotel safe. I also take a couple of copies just in case it gets lost.
i keep mine on me and i travel with a nylon crossbody. also have pics of it on your phone and have copies or photos with someone at home who isn’t travelling with you.
I always do the hotel safe (honestly anywhere – Europe, Asia, Africa…), assuming you’re staying at a respectable hotel I think its totally fine. I find it more stressful to carry it with me, not only about getting robbed but also having it fall out, forget somewhere, etc.
+1
You’re probably overthinking this :)
For me, I would leave it in hotel (def if there’s a safe; but even if not – you can always tuck it under the sheets). But also, feel free to carry with you if you’re anticipating VAT purchases. I take a picture so the info is on my phone, and I also keep a photocopy that’s left in my luggage (so if my purse w/phone gets stolen, I have the info elsewhere).Assuming you’re US, stealing your passport on purpose is actually not very valuable (fake US passports are unpopular on the black market bc they’re heavily secured – smaller, less well resourced countries are actually more valuable) so what you’re really trying to avoid is someone wanting to steal your wallet/phone/etc and getting your passport.
That said – you are 99.9999% likely to have no problems. But if your passport *does* get stolen, call the embassy, ask to talk to American Citizens Services, and they will get you a temp travel doc to get home on. It’s the kind of thing that feels like it’s going to be a catastrophic problem before it happens, but it’s truly something they deal with all the time. (The photo/photocopy of your original passport is super useful for this).
I keep it in an interior compartment of my purse with a zipper. Never know when I might want a VAT refund. Husband keeps his in the hotel safe, since we only need one for the VAT paperwork.
But, I am also not the most paranoid person travelling. Your risk is generally in big crowds and I generally take cues from the locals. Like, if all the locals have their phone on a cross body strap or only cross body purses in front then I’ll do the same, otherwise, it’s business as usual. If locals are wearing designer bags, I just don’t stress.
Hotel safe is the wisest choice although most of the time I’m lazy and just leave it loose in the hotel room.
i’m not worried the safe will be broken into, i’m worried i’ll check out and forget to bring it.
I did that once.
I went to Rome on a tour in May. I kept my passport in a safe. Our guide said that as long as we had a photo copy or a picture of it on our phone we could use for venues that required it for entrance (like the Colosseum). I was able to use the photo copy for VAT paperwork at a store.
I wear it in a fitted crossbody (the Uniqlo one). I also have print copies in my suitcase just in case, and photos uploaded to my phone saved in favorites.
I started my day with a mammogram and followed it up with a meeting with one of the most difficult people in my office.
The mammogram was the better part of the morning.
Been there! Wishing good results for you!
I posted this at the end of the day before so asking again for more reach.
What did your mom do well or what do you wish your mother had done differently relating to when you first got your period?
I have a 11yo (small for her age) and am trying to be prepared. We’ve had many talks, they’ve been embarrassing for her, but I’ve tried to keep the tone light, jokey, and matter of fact. We’ve talked about what to do if you get it in school, etc.
In addition to parenting advice, any practical advice for me about what to get for her? Underwear that does not show stains (I use darker colored cotton underwear myself for this reason), specific smaller size pads, or when to introduce tampons (she will likely go back to swimming in the fall) and how? I stopped using period underwear myself relating to some health risks and a lawsuit, but don’t know if those concerns were specific to a brand. Thanks in advance!
Be prepared that your kid’s periods might be horrific. I got mine at 11 (start of 6th grade) and went straight from an initial “spotted for a few days” type of thing to weeklong heavy periods that, because I wasn’t ready for tampons, meant smuggling the giant diaper-size pads into the bathrooms at school and sleeping with a towel under me in case I didn’t wake up during the night to change it.
What you’ve described is already way more than my mother ever did. I only wish my mother had put half as much thought into it as you have.
You sound like a very thoughtful person. What you are already doing should be more than enough. I would take it step by step. You don’t need to tell her everything at once, which might be overwhelming.
Advocate for me with doctors and with school when things weren’t going normally. (Fainting isn’t normal and isn’t a willpower issue; crippling menstrual cramps and migraines aren’t normal, etc.).
i’m sorry you went through all that. it’s a good point for OP though — your experiences with periods and her experiences with periods are not necessarily going to line up… do your best to believe your daughter when she tells you her experience.
you might want a heating pad also in the mix? that’s something that i’ve liked more as my periods have gotten rougher in peri.
It sounds like you’re doing a great job!
I had a biology teacher mom who was all about ongoing, age-appropriate talks and while I remember rolling my eyes and feeling awkward at the time, I think my mom struck exactly the right note in being informative and approachable. I did ballet and literally used tampons with a liner from day one with no issues (although I understand it’s harder for some than others). I think I had actually stolen some from my mom’s stash and practiced before I ever got my period, hah. Perhaps a discreet zipper pouch or envelope with backup underwear and pads/tampons and maybe an extra pair of pants to keep in her locker when the need arises?
My mom also left me a copy of a book about puberty and sex that I read over and over that was really helpful, so a book could be great as a reference tool. I had “The What’s Happening to My Body Book for Girls”, no idea if they have an updated edition but it was really comprehensive and nonjudgmental.
My 12 year old just got hers.
What we did: starting in 5th grade, I stocked supplies in our basement bathroom which is where her friends all hang out. I let her know the supplies were there for anyone that needed them.
When she got her first period, I l reminded her about the stuff in the basement, let her know she could move whatever she wanted into her (shared) bathroom, and also I’d be happy to help her if she needed it. I also ordered her a set of period underwear because that’s apparently a thing now. I told her she could use them or not but apparently it’s what people like. She usually comes to the grocery store or target with me so I’ll check in and see if she wants to add anything to the cart. This was also how we did shaving- I was like, if you want to grab shaving stuff at any point, just let me know or throw it in.
Present tampons as an option up front and don’t portray them as an advanced device she has to work up to. Start with “light” tampons paired with a liner. The regular size might be uncomfortable to insert and remove while she’s learning.
Make sure every bathroom in your house has a lined garbage can with a lid. Get a box of advil packets so she can throw them in her bag (but of course be aware of any school policies).
People are really pushing tampons for young kids. They should start with pads.
I disagree. I used tampons from day 1 because I found pads gross, smelly, and leaky. Let the kids decide for themselves.
I was desperate for tampons as a kid growing up in a beach town who swam every day. I promise, kids do not need to start with pads.
Why? It’s totally personal preference, offering both is nice. I posted above that I used them from the start for ballet. The first time I used a pad was when I was postpartum! Never had any issues and I actually think it was helpful to become more familiar with my anatomy.
this is a lot more than my mom did for me. the one thing i remember about my first peiod was that i was absolutely shocked that it was a dark brownish reddish color – I don’t know what i was expecting but it felt like omg i’m dying.
also: don’t tell her father the very morning she gets her period and don’t let him say “i hear you’re a woman now, congratulations” when your 10 year old comes down for breakfast.
I would have died. I’m so sorry 😂😭
My daughters liked the Kotex teen pads when they were younger. (Older daughter started at age 10 and younger one at age 11). We made a “period kit” to keep in their backpacks in case they needed something at school. They also like period underwear but don’t use it all the time.
As for swimming, we discussed tampon use and neither one wanted to try them until it was summer and they wanted to go swimming. I explained what to do, opened a tampon and pushed it up (just as I was holding it in my hand) so they would see how it works. Then told them that I would be right outside the door if they needed help. They definitely didn’t like wearing it the first few times, but now after a few years they are more comfortable. I’ve also heard of period swimwear but we haven’t tried those yet.
I wish I had a sampler of all the options available to me: pads of various sizes and styles, liners, tampons, cups, period underwear, etc. And I wish I had anything but white underwear.
My mom told me to let her know if I used up any of her supplies and told me where the peroxide was for my stained underwear. She otherwise left me to figure things out on my own.
My parents divorced when I was younger and my dad was way more caring about this. He didn’t have enough experience to suggest any specific products but he was always very matter of fact about whatever I had going on. He was always proactive to ask what I wanted and was willing to retrieve it for me. He made sure I had plenty of options to treat cramps, from OTC meds and heating pads to comforting snacks and a movie rental.
Hot water bottle, chocolate, ibuprofane or similar for cramps. Chocolate genuinely helps, and that is useful to know at any age.
Senior BigLaw NYC women: what are you wearing these days for work, especially if you are meeting clients (for me, in finance, which I feels is more formal / European with dressing)? I’d appreciate the head-to-toe rundown because getting good walkable formal dress shoes in non-boots weather is a challenge for my feet. I feel that a suit is wrong for 2026 but what is right? So many ways to get this wrong that I wish suits were back for women. A good suit was hard to find even before COVID, but once you did, life was so much easier.
you can always do the thing where you change shoes a block away (duck into a coffee shop) vs. try to find the nonexistent pair of shoes that look elegant, sleek, and sophisticated… and are also perfectly comfortable for schlepping around the city.
I don’t know why the suits are out myth persists. They’re very in and easy to wear and find everywhere. You just don’t style them as fussy as 10-15 years ago. Pair with flats and more casual tops.
I feel like it is very nuanced for suits now. Agree on flats with pantsuits, with pants hemmed to top of foot. Blouse is simple. Have not seen skirt suits in the wild in a while, but have seen pencil skirts with sleek sweaters in a 90s throwback sort of way.
This site is the only place I see/hear people saying suits are out, or as we say here, “dated.” I work in a dressy office and most people wear matching suits 2-3 days per week, depending on their day.
Same. I work in a business casual office but have business formal meetings at least once a week. I wear a suit to all of those, and often suiting separates during the other days (beause it’s cold in the office, and a jacket helps).
I’m choosing slightly different suits than before and styling them differently (simpler blouses/elevated T-shirts, more willing to do color or pattern, have several ponte jackets, etc), but I’m definitely still wearing suits.
Late to post – Modulating suggestions based on NYC big law assumptions. For shoes, go to the Gianvito Rossi store on Madison and try on their block heels. The suede ones are my favorite – walkable for about a mile or so. You won’t see them in the window, but they have them tucked away. I have duck feet so Ferragamo are ok but not the same experience of everyone loving them. Much bigger fan of the new, kitten leather heels from Valentino. Also, if you have any old shoes that you don’t wear because they are beat up, take them to a cobbler. My shoes guy has kept some Gucci loafers going for almost twenty years. For suits, you can always wear a suit, but can have more freedom for fun jackets or blazers.
Please share your stories of working with a close Colleague (in leadership together) where you just can’t seem to get along interpersonally or professionally. I feel locked in a toxic spiral with a relatively new colleague who is supposed to be my closest partner but has nothing but critique for me because she (admittedly) didn’t realize we would have to share some power. I’m not sure how much more I can give and am vacillating between ceding and playing nice and then feeling like I need to fight back to protect my own reputation internally. It’s exhausting. Any advice?
Can you be a little more specific about the issues you’re having: is she throwing you under the bus, horning in on your work, trying to exert authority over you? Would your supervisor be useful or will you have to manage this on your own?
Is she mature enough to talk through this with openly?
Is there anyone in your office (even a peer) you can talk to privately for advice, maybe over lunch together elsewhere? This could provide real relief, even if you don’t get specific action steps. I usually try to build up a relationship with at least one person at my company where we can be sounding boards for each other, whether that’s office politics or life stuff. Since you share the same reality of the same company, you can get a really helpful perspective. Good luck! Sounds painful.
has anyone seen the state fair exhibit at the renwick in DC? is it well done or not so much?
Highly recommend!
I loved all of the quilts, but the butter cow is worth a stop on its own.
It’s awesome! I went when it opened last year and really enjoyed it. Might actually go again, come to think of it.
There’s a butter cow and some really amazing arts and crafts. Well worth the trip.
If you need a nosh before or after, Dauphine’s is a New Orleans style restaurant not far away, and they have a very respectable happy hour.