Holiday Gifts Under $50, brought to you by The Affordable Style Network

75 Comments

1. That purse looks a lot like a Fendi knock off….

   1. That’s the first thing I thought too!! It looks like a copy of the Fendi peek-a-boo bag. I am all about finding the less expensive version of things but between this bag and the Tom Ford sunglasses, I’m a little disappointed to be seeing the kind of fakes you could buy in Chinatown on this blog.

   2. Although there isn’t copyright protection for fashion designs, I still find it wrong to buy things that are such blatant knockoffs. Hopefully Congress will catch up with this thinking and pass the IDPPPA.

      1. I agree. These are mostly blatant knock off’s and I would rather see original suggestions of original and inexpensive products.

   3. I agree. These are mostly blatant knock off’s and I would rather see original suggestions of original and inexpensive products.

2. I confess to liking the sunglasses. Merry Christmas to me?

3. Were those sunglassses originally by Tom Ford? I don’t remember, but I have been coveting them. I am hoping that they will show up at off saks or rack soon since they are completely last season!

   1. Yes.

4. Let’s take our holidays one at a time please.

   1. I hate the whole trend with Xmas before Thanksgiving now.
      My local drugstore is chock full of candy canes. Banana Republic was playing jinggle bells when I went in yesterday. The whole things makes me a total grinch. I second the request for no winter holiday talk until . . . oh, say . . . actual winter.

      1. It is non-relenting pressure to buy! Buy now, buy more, but buy! Makes me crazy and sometimes paralyzed with too much choice.

      2. “The holidays” are more than just Xmas, ladies. Hanukkah starts on Dec 1 this year. Still, I totally agree that the retail Xmas-theme bonanza has started way, way too early this year.

         1. And here in Canada we’re done with Thanksgiving in October! My personal rule is no Christmas until Dec 1, but I don’t have an issue with Christmas in stores after after Nov 11 (Remembrance Day). Before that just seems wrong!

      3. So, if I got 11 inches of snow this weekend, and it gets dark by 5:00 pm, does it count as winter yet? Because it sure feels like it…

         1. Minneapolis? We got news coverage of that storm down in Chicago, and it looked like a blizzard.

            1. Yeah- Mpls. Most of its melted by now. It was very much the TV version of snow – heavy, wet flakes that just stuck to everything. It was a good day to not have to drive anywhere.

               It was also a rude awakening to those rusty winter driving skills, for those that HAD to drive somewhere.

         2. Ugh…I was so not ready for this. My husband woke me up as soon as he saw the snow coming down. He was excited (hasn’t lived in the Midwest long enough to stop being excited by the first snowfall); I was miserable.

      4. I work in retail and, trust me, most people have already started the research for their holiday shopping (over 70% according to Google: google.com/thinkholiday). Plus, next Friday is Black Friday which is the biggest shopping day of the year. I definitely wouldn’t wait until it was officially winter (December 21st) for me to start my holiday shopping

      5. I agree! I was in a fitting room a couple of weekends ago and realized that the store PA was playing “So This is Christmas.” I just got dressed and left. It was in the first week of November, such overkill.

   2. I agree, to an extent. I tend to start shopping for Christmas in September, so I can avoid the malls after Thanksgiving, and actually enjoy the holiday season.

      That said, I have no desire to see Christmas decorations or hear Christmas music before Thanksgiving. I’m perfectly capable of buying a gift before Thanksgiving without Ruldoph the Red Nosed Reindeer reminding me.

      1. My words exactly. I think I’m 1/3 done with holiday shopping, hope to be 2/3 or more done by Thanksgiving.

         1. I always, always, always, complain about the music and decorations. The employees need to get sick of hearing us so they can tell management. It is really awful when you are shopping at the drug store with the kids.

            1. I’ll tell you right now that complaining to your average sales associate, especially in a big chain store like Gap or Target or whatever, will do nothing except annoy said sales associates. We have no control over the music – it’s usually all mandated by the head office. And trust me, we hate the music more than you do, since we have to hear it all day for two months.

            2. I worked in a chain drugstore through college. Trust me, the stock boy/girl or cashier hates the music more than you do. And more than likely, that employee, the assistant manager, and the store manager have zero control over the holiday music blarring over the radio and the displays of holiday themed merchandise.
               At the store I worked at (3-4 years as cashier/stock person, 1 year as an assistant manager), we were automatically sent holiday merchandise from the warehouse without ever ordering it and given a book with the displays that corporate expected to see of our big-ticket holiday merchandise. Not to mention that the sales flyers started running holiday merchandise early (and yes, there were people who actually asked about it/wanted it).

            3. The employees are sick of hearing customers complain. About the decorations, the music, the noise, the mess, the hours, everything. Most of all, more than everything else, they’re sick of the complaining. I speak from experience.

               They’re more sick of it all than you are, because they listen or see or hear or are buried in the noise and mess and complaining all day long.

               Most of them do not have enough power in their jobs to even think about passing along a complaint to management. They’re leaving here and getting a position at Jamba Juice as soon as the holiday season’s over.

               Send a letter to headquarters if it bothers you.

   3. I will confess that I am in the minority this year. Usually, I would wholeheartedly agree with most of the “hold-up, settle-down” comments on early holiday decorations. But, for some reason this year, I am finding that the holiday music and decorations are just making me really happy and excited!

5. My sister’s uber-chic sister-in-law gave her a houndstooth scarf identical to that one for a Christmas give five years ago. My sister didn’t like it so she gave it to me. I wore it for several years until my fashionable college-aged daughter stole it from me two years ago. She wears it all the time and gets compliments on it continually. Maybe I should ask my daughter to give me the new one for Christmas? I think it’s a timeless look.

   1. Am I completely missing something, or is there no fabric information for the houndstooth wrap?

      1. The website says it’s 100% acrylic.

   2. I love the houndstooth scarf idea! I’m looking for it in cashmere, since I don’t really like acrylic.

6. Frequent poster, very upset today after yet another email incident with my parents.
   This time it was because my brother sent an email to me cc’ing my parents with some name suggestions for our unborn baby (unsolicited). He also added some of his own commentary on a couple of his own name suggestions (‘I dont like x name, reminds me of this brand of condiment’). I replied all, cc’d my husband and said in future if you have name suggestions, please copy him as well. While name suggestions are fine, I wasn’t too keen on the commentary but decided to let it go.
   I replied saying one of the names my brother suggested (lets call it aa) is similar to another name I’d thought of (lets call it aab), slightly different ending.
   After some more emails in the email chain, my father replies, again only copying my mother, brother and I, this time borderline ridiculing the ‘aa’ name that my brother had suggested. He said the sound at the ending of the name reminded him of the name of a gross bodily function in our non-English language (I won’t be more specific but he was. Also likening the two sounds is a stretch to me.)
   Again I replied all, saying again (a) to copy my husband if they are emailing on the names topic, and (b) to keep criticism constructive, please.

   Now my father is offended and sent me a scathing email saying that I needn’t lecture him on what is appropriate, or how to talk, and besides that other thing that I said to my mother (which was about a funny song) is even less appropriate and that song’s lyrics are vulgar. And his email wasn’t in the least insulting to anybody.
   (Aside – this was a while ago and I found the song’s lyrics funny and suggestive – double meaning but really pretty mild and funny, and my mom got the innuendo but was a bit puzzled that I found it so funny. But otherwise had not seemed offended back then. Absolutely no connection to this incident.)

   Since I hadn’t suggested the ‘aa’ name myself, I wasn’t insulted, however if I had, or if my husband had come up with it, or if we had decided on it, we would have been annoyed/offended at the negative commentary.

   When I write this out it all seems trivial but these incidents happen between me and my high-drama family so often and it always upsets me and my mood (and makes me feel doubly guilty for subjecting my unborn baby to this stress in my tummy, in addition to work stress!).
   Often these incidents take the form of my family claiming that I’m ‘oversensitive’ and me wishing they would BE more sensitive in their comments. One benefit of insisting on including my husband in the cc list is that they are more likely to watch what they say to him.

   Any advice Corporettes? Should I get more thick-skinned (how?) or is there anything else I can do to prevent regular blow-ups over trivial matters? Am I being oversensitive?
   My usual approach is to shut myself away from them (for example, in this case, not tell them any of the names I come up with or consider until the very end) to minimize my hurt.

   1. Oversensitive? I think yes, perhaps it runs in the family (on Dad’s side maybe). I’m not trying to be insulting here, just attempting to give a reality check.

      My in-laws regularly copy me on ridiculous, non-sensical political rants that they know completely clash with my politics, which I just ignore. Or sometimes I respond with a silly joke that makes a point. But it’s not worth getting all worked up.

      My mother and grandmother offered unsolicited negative name opinions on my kids’ names AFTER they were named. Family members just do these tacky things without thinking sometimes – just let it go. Who cares what they think about the baby names anyway? It’s not their decision to make.

      Does it really matter if everyone copies your husband on every name-related email every time? Can’t you just forward the relevant emails to him and ignore the name-related opinions you don’t want to hear?

      1. This.

   2. I experience the same sort of thin-skinned-ness with my family and in-laws, as well. We aren’t at baby drama yet, but the wedding drama was overwhelming and I was constantly getting miffed about comments, or the lack thereof. I am opinionated and firm in my beliefs and decisions, as it sounds like you are OP, but at the same time, I have trouble telling my family that a) I disagree and b) they hurt my feelings. In that last few months, I have identified the problem: You are (and I was) letting family have too much input over things that are your and your husband’s decisions. It used to be really important to me to share share share with the fam. Now, I see that all that sharing led to certain family members thinking I was inviting feedback, when really, I was just seeking validation and trying to make conversation about what was going on in my life. Simply put, I just had to grow up a little, grow more confident in my ability to make wise decisions, and resist the urge to share before a decision is made. Instead of “We are tossing around baby names and it’s just so hard to choose”, I think the conversation ought to have a decisive tone, conveying that you and your H have made the decision on your own: “We love the names X, Y and Z for a girl and A, B and C for a boy. We are going to wait and see which one is the perfect name, but it will definitely be one of them.”
      If you are experiencing the same core problem that I was, then I hope that helps! Congrats on your upcoming baby. Regardless of the inevitable drama, I am sure it’s an exciting time for you!

      1. I know you said the initial email from your brother was unsolicited – my comment above is simply directed at the larger issue that you may, or may not, be having with your family. (Just didn’t want to seem like I ignored half of what you said.)

      2. What eaopm3 said. This is MUCH easier to see from the outside than the inside, but it sounds like a classic case of too much interaction. You had me at “my brother sent me an unsolicited email suggesting names for my baby.” I had a roommate who had the same kind of relationship with her family–she would call and talk to them every day, giving them a play by play, and then get upset when they wanted to be involved in every minute decision she made.

   3. I think there are obviously other issues at play here that are much larger than these emails. With these kinds of family dynamics, setting boundaries is important. If it bothers you that your family talks like this, then don’t include them in emails. Tell them you don’t wish to hear about x y or z and if they do it again you will automatically trash their emails through a filter and they’ll have to call you to talk to you (and you’ll hang up if they talk about x y or z). I would not be upset by what you’re describing, but clearly there’s a history here and I would suggest you’re upset about other things. Regardless, take care of YOU. Set boundaries and ENFORCE them (that’s hard but key). And take some brief time to mourn the family you don’t have but that you wish you did, but realize you’ll never change them and that’s what you’ve got, and that your attempts to change them are only going to make you unhappy. Concentrate on your husband and baby, and on keeping you sane/happy.

      1. I agree with this advice. Also, it sounds like you are reading and responding to emails quite frequently. I think all the back and forth in emails can lead to misunderstandings. And the constant back and forths probably enables your father to make way more commentary than necessary or helpful. And just like in business, it can be easy to interpret someone’s email incorrectly, so perhaps, you can find time to call home about these matters instead.

   4. Your father is being rude (not ccing your husband when you’ve asked that he do so, without an apology to indicate it was a mistake it seem deliberate which is frankly disrespectful to your marriage which is unacceptable) and oversensitive.

      Amazing how the most oversensitive people scream “you’re too sensitive” at others.

      The solution seems pretty simple. Do not reply to email.
      Do not reply to any offensive emails period.
      Sounds like you might not want to reply to any email from your father but I don’t know enough about the situation to tell.

      1. this. i had similar incidents early in my marriage , funny that the failure to cc when requested repeatedly was being perpetrated by my brother – who raised hell saying we (me and my sister) were disrespectful of his wife when we didn’t spend all our time fawning over his wife (and the drama his wife caused by exaggerating and misinterpreting situations more or less tore our family apart). it’s true that the overly sensitive always accuse others of being overly sensitive. it makes them feel better or something. i think the poster here is rightly hurt by this situation, though of course the details make all the difference and we don’t have them here. i also agree with the other commenter who said that you need to carefully edit your sharing and put your own thoughts and your husbands thoughts first. this is something i have problems with too and am only recently learning to control.

         1. i think it might help to point out to your family WHY you are asking for them to cc your husband. in my case it was because i would come home from work and say to my husband: “hey did you see that email from my brother, we should go right?” and he would stare at my completely puzzled. because my brother cc’ed everyone else in the family and i had seen the email on my blackberry i assumed my husband must be on the cc list too. frankly, it was just embarrassing (for me, because my family was being rude to him and i didn’t notice and for him, because he felt left out for no good reason). sometimes context helps, otherwise failure to cc sounds rather trivial.

   5. Thanks everyone. (Thanks Meme as well for reality check, I come here to get unbiased feedback and I know sometimes that takes the form of ‘get over it!’).

      Some answers to what you all have asked –
      I’m (was – much helped by your advice!) upset because I hate confrontation and the last email from my dad was confrontative. Lawyerette, there’s not a huge other deep issue at play, but these minor silly incidents do happen frequently, though my dad isn’t the only (or even main) perpetrator.

      eaopm3, I like your suggestion to be more decisive and not to share until a decision has been reached. You’re right, that IS a general issue even though in this case I wasn’t soliciting opinions.

      Arachna and Anon, you’re right that I should stop thinking all emails deserve (immediate) responses. But my folks are heavily into emailing so its not unheard of for me to receive say 6 emails in a day from the three of them. Phone calls aren’t that different in terms of annoying comments, plus my responses on calls are less thought out and tend to be more controversial! I tend to limit them to give myself a break.

      kng, I didn’t point out to my family in this case why they should copy hubby on name suggestions, because I thought it would be clear to them that he has a stake in this naming decision too. :)
      The other reason is that I know if he is on the cc line, my family will edit what they say (which is why they like to NOT put him on the cc line).

      At least I have an action plan now to deal with future such incidents (and I know there will be some!).

      1. One more thing: You will never change them, you can only change how you deal with them and how you react to them. So, figure out where to best put your energy to avoid the bad feelings, realizing the behavior probably won’t change much (except yours).

   6. I think your family is ridiculous, but you are being a little ridiculous too. DON’T email them with any name ideas. Let them wait until the baby is born and he/she is named, irrevocably. To do otherwise is just to invite comments – even if you ask for constructive criticism, that will never be what will happen.

   7. We didn’t share any name possibilities before our kids were born. Every time people suggested something I said, thanks for your suggestion I’ll let you know after the baby is born. And we did not let people know what we were thinking. It worked well. I should add, my cousins did this, and an aunt (the grandma) said, after the baby was named X, “what are you going to call him?” and the mom and dad said X, and she said, “but you aren’t really going to call him X, what are you going to call him?” The kid is 8 now and the mom is still (justifiably, I think) annoyed about that comment.

   8. Just stop replying to their emails/trash them! The above wouldn’t have caused me any stress (but we’re different people) and i wouldn’t care they didn’t copy my husband (you can use a ‘forward function on email, right?).

      Not even sure whay this should add more drama to your life.

   9. For future unsolicited name suggestions, you should reply “thanks for the suggestions!” and leave it at that. Then don’t tell anyone what name you’ve chosen until the baby is born and the name is on the birth certificate. It’s the only way to avoid this kind of crap.

      If you solicit name suggestions, and you trust the person to not be a jerk if they don’t like the name you ultimately choose AND to keep it a secret from others, it’s fine to tell them in advance what name you’ve picked. Although it’s not unlikely that you’ll change your mind once the baby arrives – a lot of people decide after the birth that the name doesn’t suit the baby and pick a different one instead.

      1. Also, the “thanks for the suggestions” reply should be used for all unsolicited baby advice, not just names.

         1. This is exactly what I’d do, too. Respond but don’t engage.

   10. Don’t let the baby name be a subject of discussion. You and your husband need to make this important decision on your own, and to pick a name you both love. In the future, don’t let your family get you involved in this kind of pettiness. Simply reply to an email with a simple “interesting, thank you for your opinion” and just forward the email to your husband yourself.

       Telephone calls or in person conversations would probably be better for communicating with your family, as any misunderstandings or hurt feelings can be dealt with faster. When your father brings up something that happened a long time ago, you can always say “I’m sorry you feel that way– I didn’t know because you didn’t say anything for the past 3 months. That must really have bothered you if you are bringing it up after all this time”. Don’t feel bad about protecting yourself from your hurtful family by limiting communication and setting boundaries. You will likely be bombarded with unsolicited advice about your children from now on, so it is best to deal with it now before the baby gets here.

       As an aside, I was with a physically and emotionally abusive man for 10 years. One of his favorite things to do was bring up things from the past that he was upset about but didn’t tell me about at the time, and they were usually things that really didn’t need to be discussed. It served to keep me off-balance all the time. You can’t defend yourself against something that happened a long time ago.

       1. Wait until the baby is born, it gets really good then! I love the part where the grandparents compete to give the biggest and best presents and count the minutes that you spent at the OTHER parents’ home. But, don’t get into silly email wars with family. It is more fun to do with random anonymous people on blogs like this!

   11. This might be a little late, but still.
       When I was pregnant last year I was having lunch at my parents’ and discussing possible names. Hubs and I were set on our choices for both girl or boy (still didn’t know) and shared with my parents.
       My mom started to bash our girl name choice and my dad our boy name choice. I stopped them short. “You had your chance to name your kids, now it’s mine. If you don’t like my choices, tough, you’ll have to deal and get used to it”. Or something to that effect. That was the last of it.
       Generally, while input is welcome, it shouldn’t mandate your actions. Your baby, your choice. “Thanks, we have it covered” is usually a good response as well.
       Good luck with your pregnancy!

   12. As a few others mentioned, it sounds like there is a serious lack of boundaries going on. This is something to work on NOW — you think it’s bad with baby names, wait ’til they start commenting on your parenting. Discussing names to this depth, including making fun of your choices, is a serious boundary issue IMO.

       Names for your unborn baby == a decision to be made between you and your husband. Others will learn what name you chose when the baby is born. Upside to this approach is that you’re free to change your mind about the name until you put it on the birth certificate. :-)

       You say that one of your approaches is to shut yourself away to reduce your hurt. I think you may want to think about this approach, but from another angle. Yes, shut yourself away in the sense of figuring out the boundaries between them and your immediate family (that’s you, your husband and your child) — NOT to minimize hurt, but to give the three of you a zone of privacy.

       Adding your husband to the cc list, IMO, is adding a band-aid over a big raw wound. It’s not changing their behavior, it’s not showing them that they’re crossing the line — it’s just inviting them to rip into him, too.

7. I would find it really weird if someone snuck in my office when I wasn’t there, went through my personal things to find my reading glasses and then got me another pair of something I clearly already have. Extra-creepy, not extra-thoughtful.

   1. Eh, I don’t think “detective work” referred to going through your office, necessarily. To me it just meant a friendly email to your significant other, or asking in a context unrelated to gift giving.

8. Best wearable gift? Hands down, smart wool socks from REI. They are thin enough to wear with most shoes, yet as warm as wool socks. Lets me keep my feet warm without having to wear boots at my desk.

   As an added plus if you’re office is not too conservative, they come in lots of fun patterns. But they also come in solid brown and solid black if that’s more your style.

   1. I was going to write this! (Though they don’t have to come from REI necessarily.) Smartwools are super-practical, but expensive enough that she might not buy them for herself.

      I wear them over tights with knee-high boots–to work–so it doesn’t matter how crazy the color or pattern may be. Nobody sees them, so they’re totally compatible with a conservative outfit, and they keep my feet toasty.

   2. After a really long day writing a motion and then sitting at the dentist for 3.5 hours, I swear I read that twice and still saw “Best wearable gift? Handme down, smart wool socks” I was thinking, REALLY? Someone is suggesting used socks?!? *time for bed*

9. Is it just me, or does this post read like it’s written by someone other than Kat? The way it read seemed so unusual to me I actually checked to see who it was posted by, in case Kat had a new contributor or something.

   Anyway, I love these kinds of posts, I can use all the suggestions I can get. Just thought it seemed strange in terms of the writing style.

   1. It says it’s a “sponsored post.” So it looks like Kat manually put it up, but likely someone else actually wrote it.

   2. Yes, 100% not Kat’s usual writing style. I assume this sponsored post was “fully” sponsored (i.e., written by someone at the sponsor company).

      1. Ah, that makes sense. I always assumed Kat wrote the sponsored posts (with input from the sponsor) obviously but it definitely makes more sense that the sponsor wrote this one.

10. I’d love suggestions for support staff/paralegals. I have two new ones this year, and am on a serious budget (legal aid/non-profit).

    I am thinking G/C and a baked good (or box of chocolates).

    1. That’s what I do (I’m at a public interest-side firm; lawyers make well below market but support staff makes market, so the salary differential isn’t nearly what you see at corporate firms). Last year (my first at this firm) I did Borders and chocolates from a local shop. It went over well so I might do the same this year, increasing the amount of the gift card, though it seems unimaginative.

    2. If you know there’s somewhere nearby that they like to get coffee/snacks, a gift card from there (plus something edible, if you’re so inclined) would be nice. For $50 or more, I’d just give cash though.

    3. Do all the attorneys (I asusme you’re a lawyer from the mention of paralegals) go in on something together? The associates do that at my firm and it enables us to get the staff a nice giftcard without anyone having to break the bank. That might be an option for you, depending on the situation at your job.

       1. “assume,” sorry for the typo

       2. Not that I am aware of….

          Usually it’s up to the attorney. The last paralegal I had worked for 3 attorneys, and 2 of us went in on a gift.

          Good idea! I might bring that up to my supervising attorney and see what she thinks. I think that it’s nice to do something to appreciate the folks you work for… Personally, I don’t celebrate Christmas, but my Paralegals do, so I look at it as an opportunity to build some goodwill.

          1. oops! That was sg-b

11. So I’ve started part-time (hopefully soon to be full-time) at a small firm with several partners, and I’m one of two associates. I’ve been there about a month and with the holidays approaching… thoughts on gifts? I guess I could ask one of the paralegals what the tradition is. My last job did a secret santa, I feel weird not buying anything, at least for the partner I work for. I could bake/buy desserts but everyone always seems to be on a diet!

    1. I wouldn’t get baked goods unless that is part of the office culture – it is one of the things the author recommends against in nice girls don’t get the corner office. I would get something for your assistant but nothing else – maybe a card for the partner.

    2. Agree with PP. You can ask around but it’s likely there isn’t a culture of giving people presents at the office. There hasn’t been at any of the places I worked, and people would think it weird (and possibly unprofessional) if I had brought in gifts. Agree with the advice not to bring baked goods!
       Handing around your family’s holiday card is fine. Getting something for your assistant (after checking with others how this is usually done) is fine too.

    3. L – I’d forgotten about that advice! Last year clerking I brought in leftover brownies, but only after the female judge that I clerked for did the same thing (so as to not be “I baked for the office!”)

       First “real” job so I was worried about being empty-handed if anything is given out but you’re both probably right about there not being a culture of it. I don’t really have an assistant, I took the place of the partner’s paralegal and am doing some of the administrative work along with my associate duties, so that takes care of that (I will treat myself to some chocolate!)
       Like the card idea, thanks to you both!

12. Why is it that so many of the men lawyers always take pleasure in bashing me at work? For some reason, not known to me, they all seem to enjoy it when the manageing partner makes fun of me, when all I am trying to do is my job?

    1. Oh wow, I’m so sorry! Could it be that they enjoy when the managing partner makes fun of *anyone*? Even so, how does this manifest? What kind of “fun” does the managing partner make?

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