ByElizabeth Hours Updated
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Thursday’s Workwear Report: Kelsey Cotton Flare Pant

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A woman wearing a sky blue pants and beige flats

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

This might be controversial, but I absolutely love the look of a cropped flare pant. They’re less visually overwhelming than the wide-leg flares of my youth but still provide the flattering shape that I always liked.

This pair from J.Crew Factory comes in this charming pale blue, which would look great with a navy blazer for a business casual outfit. If you were feeling bolder, they’re also available in a radiant fuchsia.

The pants are $49 and come in classic sizes 00–24, petite sizes 00–12, and tall sizes 00–20.

Sales of note for 1/16/25:

  • M.M.LaFleur – Tag sale for a limited time — jardigans and dresses $200, pants $150, tops $95, T-shirts $50
  • Nordstrom – Cashmere on sale; AllSaints, Free People, Nike, Tory Burch, and Vince up to 60%; beauty deals up to 25% off
  • AllSaints – Clearance event, now up to 70% off (some of the best leather jackets!)
  • Ann Taylor – Up to 40% off your full-price purchase; extra 50% off sale
  • Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Boden – 15% off new styles with code — readers love this blazer, these dresses, and their double-layer line of tees
  • DeMellier – Final reductions now on, free shipping and returns — includes select options like Montreal, Vancouver, and Venice
  • Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; extra 50% off all clearance, plus ELOQUII X kate spade new york collab just dropped
  • Everlane – Sale of the year, up to 70% off; new markdowns just added
  • J.Crew – Up to 40% off select styles; up to 50% off cashmere
  • J.Crew Factory – 40-70% off everything
  • L.K. Bennett – Archive sale, almost everything 70% off
  • Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 40% off last-chance styles
  • Sephora – 50% off top skincare through 1/17
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Summersalt – BOGO sweaters, including this reader-favorite sweater blazer; 50% off winter sale; extra 15% off clearance
  • Talbots – Semi-Annual Red Door Sale – 50% off + extra 20% off, sale on sale, plus free shipping on $150+

259 Comments

  1. Good morning! I’m looking for help with a productivity issue. I have a monthly report due at work that is essentially like a book report, grade and all. I tend to procrastinate on it and spend a day and sometimes an evening right before it’s due completing it. I generally have great results with this method but the rush is awful. My goal for this year was less procrastination and I’ve found success with lower stakes less time consuming projects. With these reports however the time I set aside feels less productive than the panicked hours before it’s due and I’m worried I’ve spent too much time on it already without much to show. If anyone has any productivity tips for situations like this please let me know. Thanks!

    1. Sometimes work expands to fill the time allotted… can you challenge yourself with a timer or something?

        1. Me too, Vicky. I always have alot to do, but when I don’t I kind of sit on it and think about what it is rather then just doing it. If I had a man in my life, I would not waste time on this stuff, but I don’t have a ma, so have more time to prostastinate. I guess that is about the only positive thing about men–they force us to compartimentalize our time to fit them in. I’m not sure they’re really worth all the trouble, tho, as it is just their sperm we need more then them.

      2. Yep, same! I prefer to do my grading over a few frenzied days rather than gradually over the two weeks allocated to it. I write my lectures in one day – because I could happily tinker all week, neglecting other things.

      3. Yep! When I’m scheduling time to do this work I always have a goal in mind (get X done) and a hard stop- usually a meeting. My most productive time is the 30 minutes before a meeting where I start tackling tasks I should have been doing ages ago.

      4. I need this today – I have a big but extremely boring task to do that has definitely just been expanding to fill the time alotted. Luckily its due tomorrow so I will get it done today.

    2. I am like this and I just try to plan for it so it’s minimally stressful (but I do need the stress to work on some things, unfortunately). So for example, if I know I have a busy time coming up I will just try to automate other things -food, dry cleaning, other small tasks, whatever works – so that i can just focus on what I need to do. In the case of work, it means I try to get all the little things done as they come in so that the big projects can be done without distraction and without also having a ton of little things on my plate.

    3. Can you calendar time to work on it in stretches leading up to the due date? Like if it’s due on Friday, set aside Monday morning, Tuesday afternoon and Wednesday morning? It may feel like you’re spending longer on the project overall, but if you go into it with the same dedicated “this has to get done now” mentality, you should be pretty productive. With this method, I don’t leave big gaps between the times I work on it, because gaps of more than 2-3 days usually means I start forgetting details and have to spend time getting back up to speed.

      1. I like this. Maybe that allows you (OP) to trick your brain into the hyper productivity you feel when panicked, or at least get the work done in slightly more time but without the anxiety/stress that you’re trying to avoid.

    4. For recurring and predictable deadline items, I suggest:
      Pick a night about a week before the deadline
      Schedule a movie, a late dinner, a face mask/bath, something you like (maybe 8pm, or 5:30 if this is something you do at work)
      Start the project/homework as soon as you get home (assuming 5pm, or 2pm if at work)
      Complete the project – you can’t go to the X thing until it’s done
      You decide at X time whether it is done and ready to submit or whether you’re 90% – you give yourself permission to go do X or you force yourself to skip it
      Then at worst you have 10% left and still a week to do it but the goal is, train yourself to do the quick rush of time with a deadline way before the Actual Deadline

    5. I would find a time slot between other meetings you have, and put it on your calendar. That way, you have a boxed time slot planned, and it provides you with enough “urgency” to get it done.

    6. When I have things like this, I have asked a friend at work or a buddy to help me to some interim deadline. Usually an outline or a summary of the themes or something so that I know I have a start to go on.

    7. I downloaded the app “Groove” and joined a group of people who are WFH/freelance/etc. that also struggle with getting things done (among other reasons for joining). I joined because I have the same exact problem as you and I really want to address it. Short of picking up shift work (which I am looking into; I noticed in law school that I was terrible with procrastination if I had too much time on my hands; in high school & college I always worked shift jobs outside of school & did not have this issue to the same extent), this has really helped. You basically meet as a group through the app and each person states what they are trying to do with the next 50 minutes, then you all break out of the group and do your work for the next 50 minutes, then you come back in as a group to discuss where you are in terms of that work. Additionally, each person can put a task list in the app for themselves and check things off as they complete them; this shows to the group (through the app) and the other members can send you messages/emojis/whatever to cheer you on (again, through the app). I have only done one session so far but it did really help get me over the initial hump of starting something. I think it is open to the public now (it was previously in a waitlist only status). Its also free.

  2. Wow — I ordered last weekend in the pink color.

    I am finding myself wearing colored khakis and cotton/blend pants vs prior, where it was suiting separates or denim. I have sized up a size and in all my shopping, cannot find denim that works for me. But cotton-ish pants (are they just more modern khakis?) are fantastic. Comfy, washable, rises that make sense.

    1. I’m tempted by these pants – I also can’t find denim that I like these days and it’s too uncomfortable for sitting at my desk all day.

    2. These pants are adorable. And the outfit they have suggested with the blue sweater with the heart and blazer are totally my look. I think I might need to treat myself!

    3. I really like these. I have another pair of blue pants for spring but could easily find reasons to have another. Ha! You make a good point about looking for pants rather than jeans. I am struggling to find anything that fits correctly and am pretty much ready to give up. Denim isn’t that comfy anyway.

    4. If you can get away with elastic waists, check out the high-waisted cropped linen-blend pants from Old Navy. Super comfortable and the drawstring is on the inside. SOOOO comfortable.

  3. PSA, Athleta started their sale on sale this morning. Lucky sizes for the most part but I nabbed a few fresh WFH layers!

    2. Can anyone recommend Athleta pants to wear in a casual office that can pass as non-exercise pants? I like the look of the Brooklyn pants except for the fabric – too shiny and swishy.

      1. I have some pants from prior seasons that are a less-drapey nylon fabric that has a bit of body, so it stands away from my skin in the summer. I think it’s billed as either travel or hiking. Since you can search by activity, maybe try that? They don’t snag, so search under “no-snag” in the fabric description.

      3. I really don’t get the love for the Athleta stuff for work. I ordered as soon as it was available in Canada and was really disappointed in the quality. It washes badly (and I am a tyrant about laundering carefully). And it looks like workout gear.

        In contrast, I absolutely love the equivalent from Lululemon and wear the 7/8 pant and the wide leg version all the time to myriad places. I use them for work travel and really anything. Lululemon has also lasted me over a decade and looks pristine.

        2. yeah I love the Brooklyn shorts and joggers for casual, but they are def not workwear. I have had great success with that material from them, but the sweatshirt type knits tend to lose their color even washing carefully, so I avoid those.

  4. Has anyone here been backpacking at Grayson Highlands? I know it is a big elevation gain and will be cold on top even in late spring (trip will be around Easter). Advice? Trail recommendations? I’ve started printing maps, etc. Will just be a 1-night, 2-day trip.

    1. No, but it’s on my bucket list! Would love to hear how it goes when you’re back.

    2. Hi! I’ve done it twice! I’ll link the route we used. It was really straightforward. The trail was pretty crowded (for the AT) so I wouldn’t count on staying in the shelters. The elevation is all in the first day and then you’re flat to down the second half. My 8-11 year old nieces did it with us and didn’t seem too bothered by the elevation. We went in mid-April and got some snow flurries at the top. The weather is unpredictable so you may get lucky early April but I would also have a backup plan if it is too cold. Happy to provide more help if you need it.

        1. Thanks for posting — this article looks excellent and I like that it links to the map from National Geographic.

  5. How do you deal with mentally kicking yourself over a dumb decision? I feel like an idiot.

    3 weeks ago, I had to renew my CPR license for work by doing CPR on a mannikin. I was alone at a standalone station, no instructor nearby. I have had wrist strength issues though that I did PT for last year and was unable to do compressions so I attempted to compress with my elbows instead(not painful). I was able to exert more force like this but still gave up and was unsuccessful. Elbows and arms were a sore next day but quickly forgot about it. Fast forward 2 weeks, I fell asleep on my left arm all night and woke up to arm and elbow hurting. Elbow still hurts almost a week later. I have appt scheduled with orthopedic specialist for next week and am terrified she’s going to have to report as workmans comp and I will get in trouble for using elbow instead of wrist, and also scared I have a permanent injury from being an idiot

    1. Do you usually struggle with anxiety? Because that is the issue not your elbow

    2. I don’t understand why you have to tell them why you did it the wrong way. You certainly could have injured your elbow doing it the normal way. Hope it gets better soon.

      1. 100% agree with this. You don’t have to tell them you did it wrong. Also, you shouldn’t be getting in trouble for a workers comp injury.

    3. The orthopedic specialist will only know it’s work-related if you tell her. If you just say “I fell asleep on it and must have been in an awkward position, because now it hurts,” she’ll go with that explanation.

      1. Yes, but doing compressions with your elbow exerts a different force than sleeping I. It wrong. Don’t lie to the doctor about how it was hurt (or at least make up a story about some other reason for doing compressions with your elbow). Not giving the ortho the correct info can lead them down the wrong diagnostic and treatment path.

    4. This sounds similar to my anxiety spirals. First, I allow myself to feel my feelings for a bit without judgment. That means I can’t tell myself that I should feel one way or another about the situation.

      After that, I will ask myself, “And then?” Which helps me to play out the entire scenario and 9 times out of 10, I get to the end and realize it’s something I can handle. In your situation, that might be something like, “People at work will think I’m silly for how I did the CPR, and then?” “I’ll tell them about my wrist situation.” “And then?” “They’re not jerks, so they’ll understand.” Etc.

      Also, I will assure you— as an employment lawyer, this doesn’t even cross the top 100 weirdest or “dumbest” ways someone has injured themselves at work! Remember that orthopedists see a lot of accidents and so do the people who deal with worker’s comp.

      1. Oh, another tip is that I try to remember when I am spiraling (I’ve permanently injured myself!) that this is not actually something I’ve been told yet. I try to remind myself that I will take this situation one step at a time. I can deal with a permanent injury if the doctor actually says I have one. Until then, my job is to mitigate by maybe putting ice on it and not doing anything strenuous until the appointment rolls around.

      2. I appreciate your response. I tend to spiral quickly. Is it possible to get in trouble for something like this? I didn’t report anything to employer because I truly didn’t think twice about it but now I’m second guessing myself. I’m a huge rule follower too

        1. With the caveat that I don’t know your employer and this isn’t legal advice— it seems very unlikely you would get in trouble for not reporting this injury (if it even was caused by the CPR thing). The pain went away and you genuinely thought you were not injured. You are not expected to report every ache and pain, and that would annoy HR anyway.

          I saw upthread that you’re in treatment for health anxiety. We are kindred spirits! I have that as well, and it is really really hard to get a handle on. You’re doing something difficult by addressing it. It will get better if you keep at it. I had a very dark time the first six months of last year, but I just kept plodding along with my therapy and started taking an SSRI (which was life changing). It was a challenge to convince myself to take the medication because of my fears around side effects, but talking with my therapist frequently and convincing myself to keep going because what I had been doing wasn’t working really helped. Sending good thoughts your way while you work through this!

          1. Also just a reminder that your doctor might not think the injury was due to CPR anyway. Once they tell you what’s wrong, you can evaluate the next steps. You’ve got this!!

    5. Huh? Tell the specialist the pain you’re seeking treatment for didn’t start until after you fell asleep on it weird. That’s the truth. I don’t understand the panic here.

      2. Spoken like someone who doesn’t have anxiety! You’re right that she can just tell the orthopedic doctor this (and should!), but no need to judge her emotions, which she can’t help.

          1. Oh, ok! So just telling you that your anxiety is stupid fixed it? I’ll let my therapist know!

          1. Absolutely. What I was pushing back on was the dismissive tone of the response. Clearly the OP is dealing with some anxiety. It’s helpful to point that out politely and maybe even offer a strategy for dealing with it. But I’ve never known an anxious person (myself included) to become less worried when someone says, “I don’t understand what you’re feeling and it’s stupid to feel that way, so just don’t panic.” If she could just not worry about this, she would just not worry about it!

    6. I don’t think you even need to mention the CPR? I don’t think you can blame that in the first place, when 2 full weeks went by with no issue, only for symptoms to start immediately after awkward sleeping.

    7. I don’t know how to help you. I just want to say that if this is how all of you with intense anxiety (seems like the majority on this board) live, I am very sorry and hope that you all can get affordable access to meds and therapy throughout your lifetimes. This is no way to exist.

      1. I’ve never had issues before and this was a work requirement based on my job description

      3. Sometimes people’s jobs require this, even if it’s unlikely they’ll ever need it. It’s easier to just do it however you can rather than challenging the bureaucracy.

      4. Yeah this is the thing that was concerning me. Maybe this isn’t something you should fudge?

    10. Do you have any numbnesss/tingling pain running down your arm/hand? Any weakness in your hand or your wrist that’s worse? Why was your wrist giving you a problem before? Do you fall asleep on your arm a lot?

      Honestly, this probably has nothing to do with the CPR, or you would have been having persistent pain since then. And there is really no way you could have caused any serious/permanent injury doing what you describe.

      The issue was falling asleep on your arm. You probably just pinched/irritated a nerve that runs down the arm, going from through the elbow area down the forearm. You know when you “hit” your funny bone? It’s could be that nerve, or another nerve that runs down the back of your arm. It’s so common to do this that frequently folks who get drunk (!) and pass out lying on their arm wake up with the same complaint you do! One of the types even has a funny name… “Saturday Night Palsy”. Sometimes it’s so severe that they wake up with weakness in their arm/hand can’t move their wrist backwards at all, and they worry they have had a stroke!

      Since those nerves repair themselves over time, no big deal most of the time.

      So sure go see Ortho or a neurologist if need reassurance, but you need to tell them about the waking up with pain after sleeping on your arm. Also… why was the wrist giving you trouble in the past and is so weak you can’t do CPR with it? Did you already have an arm/nerve injury from something else last year? THAT could be useful to know. The CPR thing is nothing, and the orthopedicst will not think for ONE SECOND about workman’s comp. And you don’t have a permanent injury from being an idiot. Promise.

      But try not to fall asleep all night on your arm. If you were drinking or taking sedatives so strong they kept you from waking up in the night (since most of us will wake up in the night and more our arm if it is in an uncomfortable position), maybe ask yourself if this is a problem or maybe you need to change your medications. Also, try not to lean on your elbows for long periods of time. It’s very easy to bruise those nerves by just pushing on them, since they are very close to the skin surface.

      1. I appreciate your response. Im honestly not sure why my wrists are weak, will ask the doc that. I actually got a new pillow top mattress last week and it was so comfortable I didn’t move… I normally turn in my sleep. don’t drink

        1. Are you slight of frame? When I got a new mattress, it kept putting my arms and hands to sleep. When I called the manufacturer, I was told this is a common issue with small-framed women. Maybe it’s not you—it’s the new mattress.

          2. Yes.. good thought…. I wake up frequently in the night with my arm asleep due to compressing nerves in my arms in my sleep. Also if I cross my legs I start to get nerve pain running down to my foot. I got carpal tunnel in both hands, that improved when I wore braces during the night.

            This is because have a genetic disorder that basically makes it easier for me to injure my nerves if I press on them too much. Since I am fairly slender, and the nerves are very close to the skin surface, it is easy to press on them, and my nerves are more susceptible than most. But if you are very thin and don’t move much in your sleep and sleep very deeply, this could happen to you sometimes too.

            So OP, definitely mention both wrists to your doctor, in case that is related to your new complaint. Maybe you have had some irritation/injury of nerves in both arms for some time?

            Even if you are at risk for compressing nerves, like me, it’s no big deal. I just am careful about how I position myself when I sleep, so I’m not leaning on my arms, and if my hands/wrists start bothering me. During the day, I don’t lean on my elbows for too long, or cross my legs for too long. Using good ergonomics on the computer. I don’t squat for long periods of time without breaks, as this puts pressure on a nerve that runs to your feet).

            Who sent you to a PT to work on your wrists last year, but didn’t even bother to give you a diagnosis?

  6. I am getting overwhelmed trying to plan a vacation with kids. I know we have a lot of people here who have loved their trips to Portugal. What would be your ideal itinerary with kids (5 and 7) in mid-April? Can rent a car if needed, driving stick not an issue.

    Alternatively thinking of going to Greece this summer (flexible on time). But again getting a bit overwhelmed by all the possibilities.

    1. I tend to just do family stuff rather than touristy but the aquarium in Lisbon is gorgeous!! Really incredible. My 5 year old was entranced and asked to go back everytime we fly in.
      But you should instead come in July instead and hang out with us in Lisbon.

    2. My biggest tip for travel with young kids is increasing the amount of time you’d want to spend in a new place. So if you’d want to spend 2-3 days in a city on a couples trip, you’d want more like 4-5 days to see the city well with little kids. Travel with kids will be so much more pleasant if you build in downtime for things like playgrounds, gelato breaks, rest time, etc. but all of that takes away from sightseeing time, so it takes longer to see the same amount of stuff. TBH, I find the slower pace kind of nice, and when DH and I travel alone it usually feels frantic and rushed because I’m so used to slow travel with kids. Assuming you have a week, i.e., 8-9 days including travel which translates to 6-7 full days in Europe, I’d say you want to pick at most two overnight stops, and then you can probably do some day trips from there. Lisbon + Porto or Lisbon + Algarve are popular combinations. Our spring break trip is Seville and the Algarve. We realized Seville was closer to the Algarve than Lisbon, and cheaper to fly into. We rented a car from National and it didn’t cost anymore than it would in the US, and we were able to get automatic.

      1. This is all very good advice. With a week in Portugal, I would probably do Lisbon + Algarve. We have friends who stayed at the Martinhal Sagres Beach Resort with kids and raved about it. They were there in the summer (so true beach weather), but I imagine it would still be nice in April.

        If you decide on Greece, I would do a day or two in Athens to see the main tourist sites, and then pick one or max two islands depending on the length of the trip. Naxos is a great suggestion. I also liked Crete a lot.

      2. +1 – or think of it as morning out and about, afternoons at the hotel pool.

  7. Is there anything Hallmark has for “I’m sorry that your deadbeat ex, who had to get his wages garnished for alimony and child support, got his vascectomy reversed and is having 2 kids in 2 years with wife #3 while asking for his support to get reduced and noting that he is strapped because his million dollar home is expensive”? The person who’s ex it is found out about new baby #2 when her kids were abruptly returned from visitation early “because Kimmy is in labor.” I’ve been getting stream of consciousness texts (understandable) but am not even in the same time zone so not sure what I can do. [I feel bad for all of this dude’s kids actually, not just the initial ones.]

      1. Aww these cards actually seem like they do fit – “No card can make this better but I’m sending you this anyways”

    2. I would send cookies, if it’s at all possible, with a not that says something like, “I’m sorry some people are so lousy but things will get better.”

      1. Yes, something like this. Or a gift card for a nice massage or nail salon–something that can take her away from the situation for an hour or two.

    3. Jeni’s ice cream delivers nationally, and I would include a note that offers a phone date while you each have some ice cream for a “wow, this guy sucks” vent session.

      1. Ice cream is always a good idea! But also +1 to the “you can call me and vent” message, sometimes that’s the greatest gift.

    4. If you have the bandwidth, can you have a phone call where help her separate the things she can and can’t control and refocus her energy? of course anyone would need to vent but I think the best possible friend move is to refocus on herself and her kids and everything in her scope of control. That’s what I’d want from a friend at a time like this.

    6. Twisted Wares Dot Com. There is a whole collection of gifts to send her. You can also go on Amazon and send her a box of tiny hands with middle fingers raised.

  8. I’m upgrading my in home help from a weekly cleaning service to a housekeeper who will come once a week to do a deep clean (fixed price) and 1-2 other times per week to do light cleaning and laundry (hourly pay). Tentatively she’ll do deep clean on Fridays and come Monday or Tuesday for light cleaning/laundry. I’ll also have her wash and change the sheets.

    Does anyone else have this arrangement and if so how do you best utilize the housekeepers time. I’m so excited to have this extra help! (If it matters – I live in a city apartment and hybrid WFH)

      1. I found my cleaner in New York by asking my superintendant if he knew of any cleaners working in the building. He shared the details of someone who worked for multiple people in the building, and she was wonderful. She continued working for me in future apartments in other buildings. I’m sure she’d do something like this if I asked for it!

    2. Why not just have her do the laundry and change sheets on the same day she does the deep clean? And if you really need her a second day of the week, I’d have her do something non-cleaning related like grocery shopping or meal prep. I’m totally in favor of weekly cleanings, but not sure more than weekly cleaning makes sense unless you are really messy.

      1. +1. I have a person like this. She spends one day on cleaning/laundry/tidying/sheets and 1 day on meals (enough to freeze/eat all week). She doesn’t do full grocery runs for us but does pick up specific special ingredients she wants for the meals she plans, or things that she notices we’re running low on. I order the rest of our recurring groceries with a weekly curbside pickup order. I still have cleaners come once a month for a more deep clean. Family of 4 and a big non-shedding dog. I found her through posting in a local group on Facebook.

      2. +1

        For years, we have had someone that cleans our modest 2 floor, 3 bedroom house every week. She also changes the sheets and does the laundry and takes out the trash/recycling and still has time to do other projects on rotation. Like one week, she cleans out the fridge or deep cleans some obscure area.

        One you get a cleaning that frequently, often things are generally “cleaner”. And you don’t have to deep clean EVERYTHING every time, so with a good cleaner/housekeeper, they can easily stagger things so that the house gets clean and other projects get done.

        For me, I find it disruptive when the cleaner is there on a day when everyone is home. To have someone coming multiple times a week for cleaning is a bit much…. And honestly, it is better for the cleaner to save the time/money on commuting and do it all in one day.

      3. +1 with kids we have about 10 loads per week so she wouldn’t be able to do all the laundry on one day. Great ideas, thanks!

    3. My housekeeper comes two days a week. Cleaning and laundry are normal weekly tasks. Other things that you can ask your housekeeper to do (depends on her skills/abilities) include polishing silver, organizing drawers, cleaning inside the fridge, changing all the towels and washing them, food prep (from cutting items to perhaps even cooking things), closet cleanouts, and routine maintenance tasks such as dishwasher and washing machine cleanout (see your appliance manuals).

    4. Look at GoCleanCo and order her book/calendar. I would create a schedule for deep cleaning on a rotation schedule. I have someone who cleans 1x every two weeks, but she doesn’t clean window tracks, etc.

  9. I’ve realized that I really need some completer pieces (i.e., blazers) that aren’t cardigans. But I get sticker shock every time, even from more budget-minded places. I’m trying to figure out my most versatile options. I don’t want anything black or camel. I’m thinking navy, gray, and maybe a light pink? Or light blue?

    1. I have a light blue one with scrunched up sleeves from Ann Taylor a couple years ago that goes with everything and gets compliments every time. I don’t think you can go wrong with navy or gray, either. Light pink wouldn’t work in my wardrobe, but it might in yours!

    2. I’m a big fan of army green – it works with both navy and black pieces and is a great, underappreciate neutral. Otherwise yellow (if it works for your complexion), burgundy, and gray are all very versatile as well.

      2. Buy second hand to figure out what you like that isn’t a cardigan. When something clicks, buy mroe of that style garment but at a 1st hand store.

    4. What are the other colors in your wardrobe? Gray goes with everything so I’d grab a gray blazer for sure. Patterns can be fun, too.

      I promise I do not shill for Macy’s, it’s just that I’ve bought every suit I’ve ever owned from there. And they have sales all the time.
      Check out this one in pink: https://www.macys.com/shop/product/bar-iii-womens-faux-double-breasted-fringe-trim-blazer-created-for-macys?ID=14729131&CategoryID=67592
      This one is cute, if you’re tall it might be too cropped: https://www.macys.com/shop/product/calvin-klein-womens-tweed-open-front-cropped-blazer?ID=15394466&CategoryID=67592
      Fun print! https://www.macys.com/shop/product/anne-klein-womens-chevron-knit-faux-double-breasted-jacket?ID=14839043&CategoryID=67592

      1. I love how this is styled with the hot pink: https://www.macys.com/shop/product/anne-klein-womens-plaid-notched-collar-blazer?ID=14982525&CategoryID=67592
        God I love stripes: https://www.macys.com/shop/product/kasper-womens-collarless-striped-open-front-jacket?ID=15035916&CategoryID=67592
        Left-field pick, but this could work as part of an edgier outfit: https://www.macys.com/shop/product/calvin-klein-womens-x-fit-cropped-tweed-bomber-jacket?ID=14868133&CategoryID=67592

    5. I like white and cream blazers. Yes, you have to watch for looking like a restaurant host, but most outfits don’t present this risk, esp if you wear a patterned shirt.

    6. The Real Real is your friend for this. You can get $600 blazers for under $100. What styles?

    9. I’m stuck in mod until the heat death of the universe, but if they ever make it out I added some links to a few fun blazers at Macys. All under $200, most under $150.

    10. H+M has some amazing colors in all kinds of blazers right now, I was just there in person and they were delightful

    11. It really depends on what colors you are using on the bottom. My go to colors for pants are black, olive, and burgundy with some navy and gray, so blazers/jackets that work with those and the associated tops are what I target. I do have a blush colored Theory blazer that works really well with that scheme. I get your sticker shock but I just decided on the opposite strategy of nondescript pants and some really nice jackets from Rag and Bone. But I now know my sizing and can stalk the second hand sites!

  10. Fun question for today – does anyone have any favourite workplace romance books (kind of like The Hating Game – but I already read that one!). I thought I had book 2 all planned out and then had an unexpected great idea so trying to run with it. Is this just a distraction from the stress of trying to sell book 1? Yes of course it is!

    1. Not a book, but the shop around the corner is an all time classic of this genre (and imho better than you’ve got mail).

    5. I just saw a friend review You & I, Rewritten by Chip Pons and it sounded SO good. Crossing my fingers you get good news re: book #1 soon!

    6. The Very Nice Box was hilarious and very entertaining. Without giving spoilers, I’ll say that the workplace romance is, um, dubious (my favorite kind). If you’re open to that, enjoy!

      1. re Very Nice Box – does it have an HEA? it isn’t clear from the Amazon description and sounds like it might be “romantic literature” (grrrr) instead of romance.

    7. The Bodyguard is about a work romance, albeit an unconventional one (they don’t work in an office).

    8. Ooh any excuse to reread Emily Henry! Although Beach Read has more of the competition angle I’ll be using. (I got an advance copy of Happy Place which comes out this spring and it’s fantastic)

      Will look up those other recommendations too, thanks all!

    9. There’s a series of science workplace romances – Love Hypothesis, Love on the Brain, etc, although I’m not sure all of them are co-workers. And Christina Lauren have “Dating You/Hating You” and “Honey Don’t List” which both blurb like workplace romances. I haven’t read all of these so I wouldn’t call them favorite, but they are on my TBR list.

      1. I didn’t love the Ali Hazelwood romances (the small/tall thing got a bit wearing) but thanks for the reminder of how popular they are! I haven’t read all of Christina Lauren, will look those two up

    10. (top 4 are my most favorite)
      The Worst Guy (two surgeons in same ER)
      the most recent Ali Hazelwood – the protag’s name is Bee
      Billionaire’s Wakeup Call Girl (so funny)
      Managed (kind of, they both work for a rock band, she’s a photographer and he’s the manager)
      The Dating Playbook (kind of, she’s a fitness trainer and he’s a client)
      You Had Me at Hola (kind of, they’re actors on a soap opera)
      Boss in the Bedsheets (I barely remember this one but Kate Canterbary is amazing)

    11. Please note IANAL, so can’t speak for authenticity, but I’ve enjoyed almost all of Julie James’ novels.
      You might like Penny Reid’s “Neanderthal seeks human”.
      Emma Barry has 2 work related series: one contemporaries about politics, and one semi-historical sent about astronauts/the space race in the 60’s.
      (I can’t recall other work-related romances I’ve enjoyed–although I tend to be drawn to these because I love reading about competent women–but I always enjoy learning more about careers and what people do. Pair that with ambitious hard-working MCs worthy of respect finding love…that’s my jam.)
      And if you are drawn more to cozies with a strong creator work element, UK-based author Trisha Ashley and Katie Fforde (I like KF’s older ones better) are fun.

  11. In todays episode of “just do the thing,” I finally went to the dentist for the first time in three years yesterday. Three cavities found, and my teeth otherwise look far whiter and brighter after a deep cleaning than after my round of White Strips. So, here’s todays reminder to do the thing!

    2. Good job doing the thing! I need to do the thing so badly today, fingers crossed for me.

    3. Might not be relevant to you, but if it’s a new dentist, be wary of all the cavity diagnoses. Some dentists are more eager than others to do fillings, crowns etc. Personal experience for me. You can ask your insurance company to review the x-rays, potentially, to determine if you really do require these fillings.

      1. True. Remineralization is sometimes a better option than fillings. It has been for me.

    4. I need to do this exact thing for basically the same amount of time. Thank you for the motivation.

  12. Possibly dumb question:

    My laptop is 15″ and I’m shopping for a backpack that will accommodate it. I have my eye on one that says it fits a 13″ laptop “and folio,” and the dimensions of the bag overall are significantly larger than my laptop. Is it likely that my 15″ will fit in the laptop sleeve compartment even though that’s not how it’s advertised?

    2. We have standalone laptop sleeves for our office-issued portable monitors; a quick Google shows there are options for laptops too, including a Rifle Paper Co. one. Would that be an option, thus freeing you up to pick whatever backpack will have room?

      1. Thanks for this, but I already have a sleeve and am looking to consolidate my bags. Right now when I go into work I am carrying too many different things!

        1. Huh? The suggestion is to put the sleeved laptop in the backpack. If the backpack itself is big enough to accommodate the 15″ laptop with sleeve, the size of the laptop compartment in the bag is irrelevant. There would be no extra stuff to carry.

          1. When I read Vicky’s suggestion, it sounded to me like she was saying “carry your laptop in a separate thing so you can pick a smaller backpack,” not “if you get a standalone sleeve, the specific size of the designated area in the backpack isn’t relevant” – no need to Huh?! that response IMHO!

          2. I meant what Anon @ 10:36 was describing, but it’s all moot now since Monday decided to order and test the backpack!

        2. If you already have a sleeve, does it matter what size the sleeve inside the backpack is? Can’t you just put the sleeve into the backpack?

          Either way, the sure way to know what size the sleeve in the backpack is would be to order it and find out.

          1. Thanks. Yes, this is an option, though the sleeve I have is somewhat bulky because it’s made to be carried alone. It has a top handle and protruding outside pockets, so within the backpack it would take up more space than I want it to. I could get a thinner sleeve…

            I have ordered the backpack I had in mind, because apparently there was “only 1 left” and I liked it too much. We shall see if my laptop fits in its built-in sleeve, or if it doesn’t, whether I use some workaround as suggested.

            Thanks for everyone’s patience on this! Haha. It’s worth getting it right for me because as of now I am juggling 3+ different items as I try to enter my building and suite, which each require keypad codes. I don’t have enough hands.

      2. I have a MacBook Pro and I want a lighter PC. I think a MacBook Air would be lighter, but is it any better? I am not a big Windows Person and wonder if I should be? I need at least 512G of Memory and 16G of RAM, so am not sure an Air would be workable, or by then it could get to heavy to carry.

    3. The depth might accommodate laptop + folio, but it’s probably not wide enough for 15” laptop vs 13” laptop.

  13. Joining Monday with my own possibly dumb question:

    I am trying to do a little freezer stocking before baby comes. We get ButcherBox, so our meat is frozen solid before it ever enters the house. I had been eying the Pinch of Yum freezer meal series, but some of them call for cutting the meat before freezing it. Would it be a food safety nightmare to half-thaw our frozen meat enough to chop up? I was hoping to not have to do the mental gymnastics of remembering to thaw dinner in advance if I could help it.

      1. Yeah, I would just buy meat from the grocery store specifically for the freezer recipes.

    4. Agree with everyone else – don’t half-thaw and chop; you could integrate surface bacteria into the meat that could make you sick when the meat gets cooked.

      Question – do you like ButcherBox and think it’s worth it/would recommend? I always get a million ads for it on Instagram but have never pulled the trigger.

      1. I actually love it. We only started doing it around the time I got pregnant, but it’s been so, so nice to have high-quality meat that I feel good about eating. I think we do every 8 weeks since there’s only the two of us and supplement with other grocery store meat as needed (rarely). And they are adding more options all the time, as far as I can tell, so it’s an easy way to try new cuts and recipes. It’s definitely been worth it for us!

    5. Thanks for weighing in, everybody; I’ll cook it or go with grocery store meat instead.

  14. There have been several posts recently from people who either had or were considering hysterectomies.

    Those of you who had them, how is life on the other side? I am seriously considering one after over a year of relentless fibroid issues/bleeding and I’m ready to be done.

    Are you glad you did it? Any unexpected surprises after the fact? Anything you wish you had known when you were in my shoes? I want to know everything.

    1. My mom did it after immense fibroid problems and it was a major recovery (not laproscoic, which I think is much easier for recovery). My sister had an ablation for the same reasons, which removed her problem completely going on 5 years (easy-ish recovery compared to mom).

    2. One thing to consider is whether you are at high risk of ovarian cancer based on family history or genetics. If you do get your ovaries removed as well, it’s important to consider hormone replacement therapy to reduce your risk of dementia. I don’t think this is talked about enough, especially for young women.

    3. Life is so much better! I should have done it the very second I had good health insurance and a job that allowed for the possible time off. I had a laparoscopic hysterectomy, and ended up with uterus, fallopian tubes and ovaries removed, as they were all scarred into one big lump from endometriosis. No wonder periods hurt!
      My recovery was uneventful. Turns out 30 years of really bad menstrual pain builds you up a bit of a tolerance. I woke up with pain no worse than what I’d been dealing with, just a bit different.
      If your provider gives you the option to spend the night in the hospital for observation, do it. I wouldn’t have had the confidence to not take the percocet if the nurses there hadn’t said, “Let’s try it with advil/tylenol at intervals and see how it goes, you can always get something stronger”. If I’d been left on my own, I’d have just followed the instructions on the bottle and taken it. Turns out I didn’t need it.
      Get stool softener and plan for some bagged salads or other veggie type things to keep your digestion on track. It doesn’t “hurt” to do your business, but your insides are a bit irritated for a while after the fact, and I felt my digestion more than I usually did, if that makes any sense.
      The referred pain from the gas they inflate your abdomen with is no joke. It was probably the worst pain of the whole thing. Walking and drinking water help, along with laying on your side for a little while. I was 100% back to normal at 4 weeks and waited until 6 to run or do any other “jostling” activity. I was on my bike for easy errand rides (not gettign my heart rate up – same intensity as walking) at 10 days post surgery.
      Come to think of it, walking and drinking water really did the heavy lifting of getting back to normal quickly.
      I’m on a transdermal estrogen patch for the next few years. I’ve had no issues with hot flashes or anything.

    4. Me! I had my hysterectomy one year ago today and honestly wish I had done it much sooner. I was scared to have surgery plus did not want to take 6 weeks off of exercise. In any event, I am so much happier on the other side. I had over 50 fibroids, was bleeding like crazy, and looked pregnant all the time. Not to mention, I was always feeling bloated and tired from losing blood. The recovery was not so bad and I feel much better now.

    5. my mom did one and didn’t regret it, but the recovery was harder for her than the brain surgery she had to remove part of a brain tumor

    6. I had my uterus and one problem ovary removed when I was 43 (never stopped bleeding, ovary had a lot of scar tissue from an ectopic pregnancy). I couldn’t have laparoscopic surgery as I’d had two c-sections so the hysterectomy was on the same incision as the c-sections.

      For me, this was a wonderful thing. I didn’t realize how much I’d been managing the relentless bleeding until afterwards. I had tampons stashed everywhere, I was really anemic and tired and couldn’t ever trust that I wouldn’t bleed even though I was no where near when my period should have started.

      Side note: I had this surgery a month after I got married and of course my surgeon said no s*x for 4 to 6 weeks. So at the 6 week check up, I expected to be given the all clear. This was in December that year and my surgeon said nope, wait another two weeks. WHAT? I said look we’re newlyweds! He said yeah you’re probably not going to send me a Christmas card this year :)

    7. I’m 6 months past mine and am so glad I did it. Sometimes you don’t realize how much pain you’re in until the source of that pain goes away. The biggest surprise has been more of a mental one. I kept my ovaries, so I’m still producing hormones, but since I have no period to mark when those hormonal shifts are taking place, it’s left me feeling a little out of touch with my body. I’m relearning, and in the grand scheme of things, it’s still pretty early! The recovery was not fun, and I’m glad I didn’t push myself too hard to get back to normal. It will come. You get one chance to heal, so take it.

      1. same here! I’ve been crying uncontrollably the last few days without cause and finally I realized I’m “getting my period”

        1. Haha, yes, this exactly. Why am I fatigued beyond belief and want to cry? Oh. Because I would be getting my period if I still had a uterus. That said, my hormonal migraines have vanished and I obviously don’t have cramps anymore, so I’m still coming out ahead.

      2. I had one about eight years ago. They told me it would be laporoscopic, then when I woke up it was “Surprise! We had to do a conventional one because you have about the largest fibroid ever seen.” So my recovery was much slower than I’d expected. I was in hospital for two nights, home and kind of out of it for a few days, but able to go for a short exercise walk only about 5 days after the surgery. I definitely took it easy for a month or so, but went on an extended trip to Europe after six weeks.

  15. How do you feel about mixing gold and silver jewelry?
    I usually wear a gold ring on one hand, and 2 rings (one silver one gold) on the other hand. None of these are engagement / wedding rings. I also usually wear a gold chain that has sentimental value. I was just given a silver necklace and I’d like to wear that too. It kinda works because the gold necklace is much longer and the silver one is pretty short, like a choker, and they’re both pretty thin.

    1. I love it, do it all the time, and don’t understand what the big deal is. I intentionally mixed my metals for my engagement ring and wedding band so I could wear them separately or together and love how they look together.

    2. I think mixed metals in a similar style can look elegant, like if they’re both thin and delicate pieces or both bold heavy pieces. Mixed metals in a variety of styles reads eclectic and funky. Which is totally fine if you like that look! I consider engagement rings, wedding bands, and other fine rings a free space.

      1. This is what I’m thinking – they’re both thin and delicate so it seems to work. The rings are also fine rings so I feel like thats fine.

    3. I mix a lot because I have a lot of jewelry that I love and I like to wear it as much as possible.

    5. I mix them all the time. Mix away! If you’re feeling self conscious about it, add one piece that intentionally combines the two tones. I have some white + yellow gold earrings I wear all the time, and I’ve also seen lots of bracelets that combine the two.

      That said, your necklace combo sounds fine.

    6. I wear a platinum engagement ring & band and have trouble wearing a gold-toned watch on that hand (I’m the problem), but I wear yellow gold pretty often as bracelets, earrings, necklaces, etc.

      Also I just got a Cartier-style trinity ring and I love it (all gold but the tones are silver, yellow, and rose).

  16. How do you deal with passive coworkers who refuse to take action? I’m working with someone who will not own a decision or make one. It is incredibly frustrating because he seems to feel no sense of urgency. It would take me five minutes to just do the thing, but instead he waffles, takes forever to respond, and finally defers to me or to a larger group. FWIW, he is more senior than I am but we are both fairly senior. I tend want to just act on easy things right away, and he tends to want to wait as long as possible to respond or take any action.

    1. Where I can, I say something like, if I don’t hear from you by X date, I will take Z action. Then I do the thing the day after X date.

      1. I do this too. People who are waffling that much are usually okay with it. If they have a strong objection they’ll say something by X date. It’s kinda of like the “state something wrong on the internet and someone will correct you” – the statement of something they don’t want will get people to act.

    2. Can you ask him about it? “Hey John, I’ve noticed a few times that you’ve taken awhile to make a decision about something, even deferring to me or the group. It does slow down my work, and leaves me and my team with some uncertainty about how XYZ is going to play out. I’d like to understand this process better from your perspective. Is there more information I can provide to help you make a quick decision, or are there other factors you need to consider that I’m not aware of?”

      1. Yeah, this is incredibly condescending. I would never do this with someone senior to you.

    3. No advice, but commiseration. In my situation, coworkers/supervisor also refuse to do simple tasks in a timely manner. For example, the company’s bank needed to update and renew the account information, so my supervisor needed to fill in the bank’s form, sign it, and scan an ID. It was a three-minute task, and I had to remind my supervisor something like seven times to do it (he works most of the time from another state, so I could not just walk down the hall and stand in front of him until he did it). This kind of thing happens way too often. So annoying.

    4. I feel a little like your coworker today so maybe I will suggest what the problem may be, and what might help. I may be way off base.

      I have several stakeholders, let’s call them clients, who come to me as one branch of a decision making tree. I don’t report to any of the stakeholders, nor do they report to me, and we’re all roughly the same seniority level. Mine isn’t the only opinion that matters, but it’s one of the big ones. Call me the Sales Prevention Department.

      I have some clients who say, I need these three things from you, this one is top priority, here is all the relevant background material in one place, and the due dates for each of these are x, y, and z. Let’s call this client Client A.

      I have other clients who “loop me in” as soon as something comes across their desk, whether it actually needs my sign off or not, and they never make a clear request. I get lots of “FYI” emails without background, and I never hear from them outside of the frequent email forwards. For some of them, I can figure out what they want, for some of them I think “OK, this is just informational” but there are some that fall into the gray area. Let’s call this Client B. I try to follow up with Client B but they’re scattered and hard to pin down, and when I do reach them, they’re often not sure about what they really need or want and don’t have a firm idea about priorities. They just want it all.

      Client A gets the best service from me, clearly.

      Just something to think about!

  17. I just want to sing the praises of shopping from beauty brands directly. I used to be a Sephora shopper but their sales are so infrequent I am doing MUCH better discount-wise by going to the brand’s website directly. And the stuff you have to save your Sephora points for, the brands will often just throw into the box when you purchase something.

    Like most of us, I have a spam email I use just for shopping, but I do keep an eye on emails from beauty brands I like because they send coupon codes all the time.

      1. Yesterday I got a box from Supergoop, and I routinely buy directly from Bobbi Brown and NARS when I run out of things. Bobbi Brown is especially good with the frequent discounts and extras.

        1. Supergoop, what a great idea! I have been doing the same with Bobbi Brown and Perricone.

  18. Does anyone have days where they are just randomly not hungry all day? Yesterday I basically didn’t eat until 6 pm. I can’t put a rhyme or reason to it, but I would say once or twice a week or so I skip all meals until dinner. it’s annoying because then I am ravenous hungry at 6 pm. Also not trying to lose weight so it’s just not helpful.

    1. I feel a million times better when I eat on a regular schedule. I might eat slightly more or less depending on how hungry I am, but I never skip a meal. If I do, I always feel worse later.

    2. I do this, but I also have issues with my stomach moving things along way too slowly sometimes. I definitely do not feel well if I just make myself eat anyway though.

    3. I posted about this a week ago or so also and spent last week trying to eat every 2 hours even if it was something small. This week I’ve been less diligent about it but have had better hunger signals – might be worth trying just as a reset if you’re concerned. (I AM trying to lose weight though, and just saw a doctor on tiktok saying to leave 4 hours between your big meals, so i have no idea.)

    4. Yes, and I think it is a hormonal issue for me because it seems to only happen during certain phases of my cycle. I have to force myself to eat because I feel much better when I am properly fueled.

    5. Yes. I mean, it’s probably not great for your body, but you can essentially train yourself to do this.

      I’ve never been a breakfast eater – even as a child. Now – just give me a big cafe au lait (so a lot of non-fat milk) and that’s all I want in the AM. During my training years as a Intern/Resident in a medical field we were so busy I rarely ate lunch. Just no time/place. While I try to eat something now before the dinner hour, I am rarely HUNGRY, but I do love food and try to eat something. The danger of not eating regularly, of course, is suddenly becoming shaky/v. hungry and just grabbing some junk to eat on the fly. Much better to train yourself to eat something good at a regular interval if you prone to skip/wait too long.

    6. Yes, lately, I felt like this at least 1x week in the last month. I suspect it is because I haven’t been doing any workouts (I have moved countries, dealing with new job and still unpacking, so no time left for workouts). I don’t compensate for the “lost” meals in the evening (don’t feel hungry) or next day. I believe that a fast here and there is not harmful for healthy individuals. And I guess my apetite will bounce back once I start lifting again.

    7. DH is like this. He gets increasingly cranky and insists it’s not because he’s hungry. Then he eats and he’s like oh whoops sorry.

  19. LADIES. 5 years ago today I told my ex I wanted a divorce. It’s my favorite holiday! I am celebrating so hard in my head right now.

    (For those of you who want to take this step but are scared of the future — I was too — and I am now very happily remarried, and my kid is doing great, we coparent reasonably amicably, my finances rebounded, and literally every single thing in my life is better now. I am so thankful to 5-years-ago-me for taking care of today-me.)

    1. I love this and am so happy for you. As a fellow divorcee, with almost 15 years post divorcee, I echo your post. Life is so much better on the other side. It’s not a walk in the park, but man is it worth it!

    2. today is also significant for me, but for a different reason. 17 years ago today i went to a college sorority party with a friend of my bff’s date and now we’ve been married for almost 11 years. our marriage is very far from perfect and definitely has its ups and downs, but i’m glad i decided not to skip the party (which i almost did). so if you have a tendency to be a homebody and are on the fence about attending an event, my advice is to go!

    3. I got married to my college boyfriend a few months after I graduated (he had already graduated) and was married to him for 5 good years and 5 bad ones. I’ve now been married to my second husband for 20+ years, so I think this one will stick! Tons of people had alllll kids of opinions about both my divorce and remarriage, but both of these things were the smartest, f-the-haters decidions I’ve ever made.

    4. Thank you for posting this today. Currently separated but I am in the stage where it feels easier to stay together then to get a divorce, lose all my money, put the kids through this.

      2. Co-sign! My daughter loudly and vehemently insists she hates me and I am realizing that the hit to my lifestyle is permanent so I appreciate the reminder that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

  20. Does anyone have experience with Modern Citizen clothing? If so, what can you share about quality, how long it lasts, how it fits, how it washes, etc? TIA

    1. Sorry if too late, but my items from there are lovely. Very nice quality and by and large the fit has been true to size, though I did order one dress that ran on the small size and had to return.

  21. My confession of the day is that one of my least favorite parts of being a manager is dealing with the hiring process. It gives me intense anxiety.

    1. Can you say more about why? I hope to get my first report in the next year or so.

    2. agree – it is such a big decision with so long range consequences if you don’t get it right. Both for the organisation and the individual
      I will say, it becoes easier with practice. Having gone through some marathon recruiting periods, I think I have become a lot better at interviewing and making recruitment decisions.

  22. can someone please develop a cure for the common cold. i am so sick of getting sick with random viruses i can’t do anything about

    1. A lot of people started masking with N95s when it came out that COVID19 is airborne and discovered they stopped catching everything else ever since. Until we have properly ventilated and filtered indoor air everywhere I go, I see no reason not to mask when I’m just running errands around strangers.

      1. Same. I primarily don’t want to get COVID, but freedom from all of the other random viruses has been great!

        1. Same! When I am just doing random stuff in public places, it is almost easier to wear a mask. No make-up worries!

          I haven’t been sick since before COVID.

          COVID also trained me better to clean my hand more with hand sanitizer at my desk, front door when I enter etc… I’m not anxious/OCD. Its takes a few seconds.

      2. This is what Bob Wachter — MD at UCSF — advocates. He is active on T@(%%@ R with well-explained medical data and recommendations.

      4. Same! I had bronchitis for 9 months in late 2019 and early 2020. It went away in spring 2020 and has not come back. Masks 4 ever.

      5. Question for those who still mask while running errands (and this is genuine as I try to navigate my choices/decisions): what about when you are inside a public place longer than to run an errand? For example: a movie or play or a museum visit?

        I ask because of the table (which I will place in reply in an effort to avoid moderation) that demonstrates that wearing an N95 when everyone else is unmasked extends the lapsed time before transmission, but not indefinitely. So it might be enough to run a quick errand, but not enough to hang out around unmasked strangers for an hour.

        I would appreciate hearing your thoughts.

        2. I don’t really eat in restaurants or watch movies in theaters when counts in my area are high. I’m fortunate to live in the Bay Area though and eating outdoors is no hardship.

        3. I feel more comfortable masking in those situations and figure that keeping the mask on doesn’t harm and it might help, so there I am. Plus any kind of statistics rely on averages or specific conditions and doesn’t look at all places at all times.

        4. I had stopped going to movies before the pandemic hit because the movie theatres were all so gross and the audiences so rude that it wasn’t fun. I go to live theatre and concerts in a mask when case counts are low because these are high-value events for me. I will leave if someone nearby is coughing or seems sick. I don’t go to clubs and similarly packed venues. I worry less about museums than about the theatre because people move around. During the winter 2022 surge I didn’t go anywhere.

          What I really worry about is travel and work events. I attend a lot of full-day meetings in crowded, poorly ventilated rooms with people who don’t have the courtesy to stay home when they are sick. That seems more dangerous than two hours at the theatre.

      6. Sadly this will not prevent my 4 year old coughing directly into my face at close range.

      7. Same. I will see my family and friends mask-free so I have normal social interactions, but I see no reason not to mask around strangers forever. Who cares what people think.

      1. Ahhh… then, there’s no hope unless your kids mask.

        My friend who is a Pediatrician jokes that masks put her out of business. The first winter after COVID, she told men they didn’t have a SINGLE child come in with COVID, flu or RSV. “Masking works!” she told me.

        1. I’m not anti-mask, my family (including kids) still masks in most public places like grocery store, planes, etc. But the 2020-2021 illness free winter can’t be chalked up entirely to masking. This was pre-vaccine and most people, at least in more cautious circles, had not resumed normal life and were still pretty locked down. In a lot of the country, schools didn’t open as normal, and even in our area where schools were full-time in person, there was still a lot of extracurricular-type stuff canceled, and schools went virtual between Thanksgiving and New Year’s to avoid a huge outbreak. Outdoor gatherings were the norm, even in the Midwest which has a real winter. I don’t know anyone who gathered in a group of more than 10 for Thanksgiving or Christmas/Hanukkah, and only a few people who gathered with anyone outside their household. The 2021-2022 winter was VERY different, and there were mask mandates still in place in many communities, including ours. So I really don’t think the lack of Covid, flu and RSV is directly attributable to masking.

      2. +1, this is my life, OP. I was reading all the comments about masking and thinking, yes, tell my toddler, please. We’ve had sore throats more often than not since New Year’s.

  23. Inspired by a post above (about not being hungry) – does anyone know of any apps or systems where if you’re trying 10 things and you don’t know which combination will work, the app can keep track of which permutations you’re trying and suggest ones you haven’t tried?

    I can see it being useful for me (trying to lose weight in perimenopause) – also when my kid has wild periods and we’re never quite sure what we do to fix them because we throw a bunch of spaghetti at the wall at the same time.

    2. I think the poster is asking for an app to keep track of variables in a particular regime as they change.. OP, try googling symptom trackers, that might get you something useful especially if you have a pretty broad definition of symptom.

  24. I have been meaning to eat more steel cut oats but they take too long to prepare. Yesterday I tried something from an Ina Garten cookbook and it’s “how easy is that?” worthy.

    Put 1 1/2 cups dry steel cut oats in a deep saucepan with 6 cups water and 2 teaspoons salt. (I used a little less salt.). Bring to a simmer and simmer for 2 minutes, then put lid on and let sit for 2 hours. Transfer to fridge and then reheat individual servings as needed.

    I‘m having mine with a few chopped nuts and dried fruit as she recommended. She also recommended maple syrup and milk, but I don’t think they need it. Delicious!

      1. I don’t. Limited counter space makes another countertop appliance a biiig decision. This method is easy enough for me.

        1. The only appliances that live on our counter are the coffee maker and toaster oven – everything else is in the pantry, including rice cooker, blender, food processor, special weekend coffee stuff (French press, espresso maker). Rice cooker is a total MVP!

          2. lol fair enough – we live in a rowhouse and what I call our pantry is actually intended to be used as a china cabinet. We don’t have formal china so one of its big compartments on the bottom holds these appliances :)

    3. Steel cut oats also freeze well — I like to make a batch of 4 servings at once, eat one while hot and then portion the rest into a divided container with 3 divisions. Even if you’re just refrigerating the oats become one big lump that you can plop one out and into a bowl to reheat.

    4. I do the other way around – soak overnight and then microwave for 3 minutes in the morning. I do this for any oat, although with rolled oats you can get away without soaking.
      I also do a single portion directly in a breakfast bowl – no saucepan to wash! (mainly because I don’t feel like eating oatmeal multiple times per week)

    5. I make mine in the Instant Pot. High pressure 3 minutes, natural release 20 minutes. Stir in spices, nuts, and dried fruit after, then refrigerate. I make 2 cups of oats (6c water) at a time which is enough for me to eat for about a week. (Top with a splash of milk and honey before reheating.)

    6. I used to do this but leave it to sit overnight. I now just make regular oatmeal, but 4 servings at time, and then reheat leftovers for 3 days.

    7. Bob’s Red Mill has instant steel cut oats. Costco carries them, so do other places. Cook much faster than regular steel cut oats and I have been eating them for years.

    8. I do it in the instant pot and then freeze servings in muffin tins and keep a bag of them in the freezer. Microwave for a minute and a half and top with whatever you like. This extends the amount of time I have oatmeal available since I don’t necessarily want to eat it every morning until it’s gone.

  25. Update on speaking at the school board public comment period – I did it! It actually went pretty well. I compromised by appearing via Webex instead of going in person, but I didn’t make a fool of myself. There were a lot of comments about the issue that bothered me, and I think I made some good points that (hopefully) won’t be dismissed out of hand.

    1. Good!

      I’m a local elected official and the cynical responses to your first post were really disheartening to me. Our systems are far from perfect, but they definitely don’t get better when people give up and assume that all the players are self-serving jerks.

      1. Thank you for being a local elected official! It’s not easy (my mom was on a small-city council) and it can get disheartening when people just give up and/or think the worst of the people who serve.

    2. Too late probably… but I was also at a school board meeting on Valentine’s Day, so commiseration! I stayed for the whole thing — there were some good things discussed, and I was glad I went. But I kind of wish I was home snuggling on the couch instead.

      1. Yeah, I wanted to be watching The Last of Us on the couch with my cross-stitch.

  26. What are people wearing for no Zoom call days/ comfy at home? I fell into the pandemic trap of all t-shirts and sweats all the time and would like to make slightly more of an effort without sacrificing too much comfort. TIA!

    1. Just one baby step above sweats and a t-shirt: comfy jeans or pants with a bit of stretch and a cotton sweater.

    2. Warm sweaters with a heattech base layer and stretchy jeans. I probably take the most care in picking out earrings because I like jewelry and they’re most visible.

      I have warm sweaters in my two base neutrals (navy and grey) but I usually prefer those in my most flattering colors – dusty blue, orchid, teal, and rose.

      I feel like a nicer sweater is enough to feel “dressed” for zooms. I would only get out a jacket for a big presentation.

      1. Tell me more about these “stretchy jeans”????? Those sound amazing.
        *facepalm* how did I forget about SWEATERS! the perfect answer :)

    3. I wear leggings or soft pants and a beautiful sweater or a shirt. This also means I am ready for ad hoc zooms.

      1. +1 and I can have a warm zipup over the beautiful shirt so I stay cozy, but pull it off if someone wants a video call

    5. Joggers or leggings on bottom. I like wrap-style tops in comfy fabrics. Athleta has some colorful ones and I got a non-athleisure version from Abercrombie of all places. Jewelry makes me feel put together even when I’m in glorified pajamas.

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