Weekend Open Thread

44 Comments

1. Headed to Puerto Rico for the first time in a few weeks. My husband and I will be staying at the El Conquistador. Any recommendations for places to eat? We’ll have a car and plan to spend some time in San Juan and the El Yunque National Forest. Open to any other suggestions too. Thanks!

   1. Eat mofongo. Looks like El Conquistador is near Fajardo’s Bioluminescent Bay–you should do a kayak tour of that (do it at whatever part of your trip is closest to the new moon–it will be better the darker it is). I haven’t been to the Bio Bay in Fajardo, but have been to the one in Vieques, and it’s super cool.

      1. I’ve been to the one in Fajardo. It’s really cool.

   2. Cosign the bioluminescent bay. Also consider a day trip to Vieques if you’re already staying at the conquistador–the beaches there are really special.

      I also really loved “quesitos” a breakfast pastry with a piquant cheese (sort of like a Danish).

   3. We liked La Estacion near El Conquistador.

   4. Sorry to say, but I hope you have travel insurance.

2. So, here goes a mixed bags of thoughts:

   1) Thank you to some commenters who wrote about how their mothers did not enjoy festive meals because they were too impatient to clean everything up. They helped me stay at the table and do not sneak to the kitchen to start loading the dishwasher and hand washing glasses.

   2) Someone, I think SA, wrote that all unrequested advice is criticism. I have been thinking about this. I think it may nearly always feel like criticism, but I also believe it can come from worry, and worry from caring, not from criticism.

   3) Have been also thinking about the poster who would only be seeing her son on Dec 28th and then the son and his gf on Jan 5th. Hope she can reframe and celebrate and enjoy the 5th. It is the day the three wise men visited the new born Jesus (night from the 5th to the 6th). Hope she can find something new to celebrate, maybe have a traditional Rosca de Reyes. Hope for her, not the son, nor the gf. Sending her a virtual hug.

   Sending all of you my best wishes for 2026 too :)

   1. Yes, that was me. I don’t doubt that much if not most unsolicited advice comes from worry/caring, but that doesn’t make it feel any less like criticism and doesn’t make it any easier/more pleasant to receive. Or any more likely to be effective.

      And best wishes for 2026 to everyone from me, too!!

      1. I think it’s not all that uncommon to be able to receive constructively offered and lovingly said unsolicited advice without taking it as criticism.

         1. I guess it depends on the topic.

         2. You’re a better person than me.

            1. I don’t think this is a moral or character issue! Some people like receiving unsolicited input (when said kindly and constructively by people they love and trust) and some don’t. It’s just a personality thing. Sometimes, I can’t see what’s obvious because I’m too close to a situation, and unsolicited advice has helped me see it.

         3. I wouldn’t end a friendship over it necessarily, but I can’t think of a situation in which I would welcome unsolicited advice. If I want your advice I’ll ask for it.

            1. Does it help if someone asks first? I don’t really like to give or receive advice, but I feel sometimes information falls into a gray area, if someone seems not to know something relevant, and I usually welcome information if I’m missing something.

            2. I’m ND, so maybe that’s why my thinking is different on this. But, if I were complaining about how much I hate chopping vegetables for a big family meal and a friend said, hey, did you know you can get prechopped vegetables at the grocery store? I might say OMG I totally forgot about that. Thank you. You just saved me an hour. Or, yeah, I know, but I didn’t want to spend the extra money.

               Maybe there is a distinction between a suggestion and advice?

               I guess I never I understood why people want to complain but not hear solutions to their problems. Seems pointless.

               By all means, if I’m complaining and you can solve my problem, please do!

            3. I’m the person who said it can be helpful, and here are two examples that I just think most people would not mind unsolicited advice on? Idk, you tell me if you’d find these offensive.

               I had a car I was complaining about all the time because I hated parking it in tight spots. A friend suggested I sell it and buy a specific different car. It was a totally obvious solution once she said it, but I was too close to the situation to think of it.

               We were planning to rip out our kitchen cabinets in a remodel, and my mother suggested simply replacing the doors instead since we weren’t changing the configuration. I think we saved $15k by doing that. She also suggested relocating a vanity in our master bathroom and that was also a good idea.

               I’ve also received welcome unsolicited advice on more personal topics, but like I said, I think openness to advice on that sort of stuff is probably a personality trait.

            4. I think the difference is that none of those were about a personality trait or your skills. I’m fine getting advice like the cabinet example or someone mentioning a great sale. Not happy to get advice on my parenting or weight or personality.

            5. Good point, Anonymous at 12:00 p.m. And as for “does it help if someone asks first?” Of course! Then it’s not uncolicited!

            6. Like I said, I have gotten unsolicited advice on more personal topics that I found valuable but I think receptiveness to that sort of thing varies by person. But when you say you don’t want ANY unsolicited advice, I just don’t think that’s accurate if you’re okay with this sort of advice.

            7. Agreed. The only time I think it would be helpful is if it’s to save me from injury or death – “hey you should turn around, the footbridge is washed out” on a hike, for example.

            8. Really? “Hey, I realized that the broker you said you use is running a Ponzi scheme” wouldn’t be welcome unsolicited advice? Or “hey, that guy you’re dating is a noted Tinder swindler, so you should probably dump him?” It’s just death and injury for you? Wild.

            9. Those are really more warnings than advice.

            10. … but “hey, you should turn around the footbridge is washed out” is advice, not a warning?

            11. The only time I would value unsolicited advice is if the person had facts or specialized knowledge unknown to me (cabinets for example). Most unsolicited advice doesn’t fall in that camp though. There is an arrogance to “I know better than you” about a topic if the person simply doesn’t or shouldn’t.

            12. There’s also a real arrogance to “your advice can’t possibly be valuable to me.”

            13. Maybe someone does have valuable advice, but people also have valid reasons for not being interested. Sometimes they’re working on figuring something out for themselves, for one.

   2. #1 is so important.

      1. Yes!

   3. Hi Black Tea: Thanks for the comment. Posting here was sufficient to get my feelings out even with some of the mean comments. Sometimes we just need to vent and commiserate. As it turned out, she was able to move her visit in our state with a family member from Europe and the whole family enjoyed Christmas on the 28th. AND, I bought her a gift that was recommended here on on Corporette on a thread for gifts for college students.

      1. I’m so glad that worked out, and it sounds like you all had a nice holiday!

      2. I am happy to hear that! And I myself will celebrate the 5th and the 6th with family i didn’t get to see on Christmas! Sending you a virtual hug!

   4. I do appreciate advice. Tell me about your great trip, the great dance class you found, etc. What I don’t appreciate is anyone who thinks it is their job to police my appearance or how I present myself to society. Too many people will respond to this thread and say it’s their responsibility to fat shame because they are concerned their target’s health. You aren’t. You are the people who cheerily told me when I was near death that I looked great because I was gaunt.

      1. +1000. It’s called concern tr011ing for a reason.

      2. What a remarkable victim complex. I have no comments whatsoever on your physical health, but I hope your mental health improves in 2026.

         1. Are you looking in the mirror?

            1. Yes, and to quote Mary J Blige, I like what I see when looking at me when I’m walking past the mirror, and I’m not worried about if other people feel it. Hope the original poster is able to say the same soon.

            2. What did you get out of this little attack on that poster? Seriously, what was in it for you? So bizarre.

            3. I think most fat women find the trope of the sad sack fat woman annoying.

         2. This is a nasty mis-reading of the poster’s comment and a self-important one at that.

            “I have no comments on your physical health, but I’ll take the liberty of commenting, thoughtlessly, on your mental health” is some gymnastic logic.

         3. Girl what is wrong with yoi

      3. The post that triggered my own post was about someone debating whether to give advice on professional development to a younger relative. I was not thinking about body policing at all. I understand that is annoying, inappropriate and useless.

3. Oh these sweaters look so soft and comfy! I like the crew neck, which I find are easier to pair with various bottoms and skirts.

   1. I like the light blue version with the off-white stripes. Very tempting!

4. UK people — what is Wiggy Kit? Just a wacky name for legit cute clothes? Or some weirdness that the algorithms are sending to me. I like the vibe of Me + Em and The Fold, but have a BR on sale budget.

Comments are closed.