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Frugal Friday’s Workwear Report: Diamond Pointelle Cardigan

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Black pointelle cardigan

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

My first BigLaw job was across the street from a brick-and-mortar Loft location, so I spent many lunch breaks wandering around the racks. This pointelle cardigan looks so much like something I would have purchased in 2010 that I’m very tempted to grab it up again. I would wear this with a midi skirt for a summer-y casual Friday look. 

The sweater is on sale for $47.97 (marked down from $79.95) and comes in sizes XXS-XXL and XXSP-XXLP. It's also available in “smokey opal” and “whisper white.”

Sales of note for 6/2:

202 Comments

  1. Idle observation-I was at a 7th grade band concert last night, and I was surprised at how many of the girls were wearing real high heels with their “concert black” outfits. I’m not saying anything negative, just surprising since it seems like folks here are always saying that the young and hip set are wearing comfortable shoes and heels are out – many of the boys were in sneaks, but I only saw one or two girls rocking the sneakers with a dress look. I don’t think anyone was wearing true high heels when I was in middle school (don’t think it was on my radar, and I’m sure I would have wanted them if it were), but I guess that’s the look of the really young set.

    1. 1. I don’t think a middle school band concert is likely full of the young and hip set. And I say that kindly. I was one of them.
      2. They’re at an age where heels are exciting and ‘grown up’ rather than something that used to feel glamorous and now feels pretty but limiting.

      2. right but don’t you feel like that “heels are exciting and grown up” phase extends into your late 20s at least?

      4. Agreed. Based on bat mitzvah attendance, albeit a couple decades ago now, age 12-13 is kind of the peak age for “wants to look grown-up but is also still a child at heart and loves the pretend play element of dressing up for occasions.”

    2. I have an orchestra kid. My observations:
      1 they have young feet
      2 they are sitting down
      3 it is the one area in performances where they can be creative
      4 especially if these kids also do marching band, those shoes are so fugly they may want something cute now

      I think they don’t want percussion clacking around, so my guess it’s the in-chair people only.

      1. I think they usually have to be black if sneakers (which I see often) and black if not sneakers. Public school though, so they are not going to DQ a kid who tries over this.

        1. Yeah, I’m just saying that even in my kid’s public school, the director (who is a caring human) made a point of letting parents know that black shoes with white soles are not appropriate for music contests or concerts. And if someone needed help procuring appropriate attire, to please let him know.

          But, to the OP — I wouldn’t assume that kids’ concert attire represents what they dress like on a daily basis or even for other special occasions.

          1. Well, it’s okay at our middle school. The “let the director know if they need help getting appropriate attire” is a nice gesture but doesn’t actually do much to think about what could be an equity issue.

            There are directives on what to wear at the concert; you do your best.

          2. Our public middle school co certs have a lot of boys in black sneakers with white soles. It’s ok.

      2. It wasn’t very formal -the school’s directive was basically just “all black, please no ripped clothes or sweatpants” (and I saw one boy in gray sweatpants, so …). Most of the kids wore black dresses (of all sorts of styles) or slacks, but it seemed pretty clear that sneakers (or other casual shoes) were fine.

        1. I think what are now old-man all black sneakers are widely used still for this. Now that the kids are back to white sneakers.

    4. I would not assume their concert attire choices are representative of their normal daily wear.

      At that age, I didn’t have much in the way of dressy options in my own closet, and what I did have was mostly hand-me-downs from my mom. In today’s environment, I could very well see her handing me all of the heels she had stopped wearing during Covid since we wore the same shoe size. I would have felt so sophisticated rocking a pair of her old office pumps with my black floor-length dress.

      1. Same. My violin kid takes my black cardigans and lady jackets for concerts, along with shoes.

        1. Next y’all going to tell me sparkles are in because you attended a five year old’s dance recital.

          2. Agree. These are not fashionistas, even if they’re probably more fashionable for their generation than we were back in the pre-TikTok times.

            Shuddering thinking back at what we wore in middle school in the early 90s…

    6. My hot take is that what the internet says about fashion does not always match with what I observe in my real life. (Particularly with office clothing!) Also, I do not care about middle school fashion; that’s my daughter’s realm, not mine.

      1. Totally agree with both points, but especially the first one. (The second one is just a given IMO!)

      2. This. I work in finance in a big city with some people who make $$$ across several age groups. I’m seeing plenty of stilettos on women of all ages who are otherwise more trendy than me. This page one echochamber that I take in to account when making decisions about what I want to wear, but I generally compare what I hear here against what I observe in the real world before making any bigger decisions (trying a new style, spending $$$ on a particular piece, etc).

    7. my kids don’t play instruments but at bar and bat mizahs (same age kids) the girls are mostly in skimpy dresses and high tops. even the bat mitzah girl and sometimes her mom, like it’s a thing.

      1. I’m astounded by all the doubling down here by OP. But I guess she’s free to dress like a preteen at a school orchestra concert in the name of fashion!

    9. I love getting fashion reports from the field! Here in the Bay Area, it still seems like the girls are wearing black high-top converse and sneakers with everything, including homecoming dresses and graduation outfits, but I did see more heeled sandals at the recent prom than usual.

    10. my kid’s school explicitly says no sneakers. our local buy nothing group does a healthy “worn once for school concert dress shoe” exchange. not sure this is data.

      1. That is so smart. Until my kids hit high school and had more frequent concerts, workshops, music contests, etc., those concert shoes were barely worn.

    11. My daughter was in band in middle school and there was definitely a dress code for performances. I don’t know that they would have actually kicked anyone out for not complying with it, but everyone did for the most part. (This was at a public school that feeds from both a wealthier part of town and a more working-class part of town.) Part of that included no tennis shoes and so the girls were in a mix of heels, flats, and boots. My daughter chose ballet flats at the time. Now that she is in high school, she wears a pair of my old (but hardly worn lol) heels.

    12. I have a 7th grade girl. She owns real heels and wears them with dresses (also wears sneakers with them!) My other kids do orchestra so I can’t speak to 7th grade specifically but they were all told “no sneakers” for their concert.

      FWIW, when she wears her heels she’s about 5’8 which as a 12 year old can be tricky…but she DNGAF and I love it.

    13. I sent my son to his band concert in my Gucci loafers because I refused to buy him dress shoes. So, I’m not really in a position to judge!

      3. You are my spirit animal.

        I bought my son women’s boots from Walmart when his winter boots broke unexpectedly in February. He’s in between kids and men’s shoe size, and there were zero other option at the end of the winter season (but with a few snowstorms still forecasted at the time).

    14. Depending on the size shoe and season, it’s not always possible to find flats in the required color at that moment.

      But also, this would be like me looking at what my friends’ kids are wearing to prom and making style judgements based on that.

    15. A concert black dress code will require black dress shoes, so the kid with sneakers was likely out of compliance. My college kid and her friends all wear flats. Among my fellow adult musicians it seems to be 50/50 on flats or comfortable heels.

    16. My 7th grader wore my black Spanx dress and black rothys flats to her end of year choir concert because she no longer fit in any of her own black dressy “concert” clothes. I can guarantee you she would never be caught in any of these items on a regular day. They get graded in choir for conforming to the concert dress code though. (Happy to report she got a 100 for my office wear.)

  2. What are your favorite headphones? Have old AirPods I’m considering upgrading, maybe with something else. Don’t love Shokz. I think I want in ear but open to over the head (but then can you take calls on them or is it just for listening?)

    1. I really love my JLab Sports. Comfortable and not too expensive when I inevitably lose one.

    2. I really like both sets of Raycons I have. I have their wireless earbuds and the over the ear headphones.

  3. I have a ton of old cloth woven placemats. Nothing is wrong with them. I just have a big southern family that thought I’d be entertaining (yes) and like autumn palette colors (no) and need that and cloth napkins in sets of 8 or 12. I’m assuming that if I donate them, no one will want that stuff now. Crafty people: what else can I do with these?

    2. Put them on Freecycle, I bet someone will take them off your hands. We use exclusively cloth napkins and aren’t easy on them, so a free upgrade would be really welcome.

      1. +1 I have recently joined my Buy Nothing group and people will take anything. I even gave away a gently used set of sheets recently.

    3. Put the placemats under houseplants to protect the furniture? Make totes with them, sew a few together for decorative rugs or table runners?

      For the napkins, use them to wrap gifts (look up furoshiki for ideas). Sew them into pouches, stuffies, scrunchies, key fobs, anything small enough.

    4. What would you even do with a craft project if you don’t like the colors to begin with? Donate or recycle – search for ‘textile recycling’ to find dropoffs near you.

    5. You are an adult and are entitled to make your own decisions about your table top. Use them at events with your judgy family and say Bless your heart to any additional feedback. It will be great practice for growing a spine.

    6. Please donate them! I am always on the hunt for nice table linens at estate sales, etc and bet they will be more appreciated than you think.

      1. Maybe, but you are responsible for what you buy. I think OP is trying to be a good steward and I applaud it.

        1. I read this as she has been given a bunch of placemats by her family that aren’t to her taste, so she is trying to be a good steward of the gifts.

          Still 100% agree with the sentiment – I just think the poster saying “your house isn’t a garbage can” was commenting on the relatives “recycling” these items to OP.

  4. We’re closing on our new house today! We’re moving over gradually in the next few weeks as some final work is being done. Two questions:

    What should I bring over for our use while we’re making trips there – toilet paper, paper towels, and hand soap are on the list already.

    The drawers and cabinets are older and need contact paper or similar. I found the job of cutting paper to fit HIGHLY annoying last time I did it. Are there any better options on the market now? All I ask is PVC-free but otherwise flexible.

    1. Trash bags, disposable cups, basic tools (couple of screwdrivers, 5-in-1 scraper tool, pair of pliers, a hammer, tape measure, masking tape), a stepstool, and something to sit on. A notepad and writing instruments. Shower curtain, and something to cover the bathroom window if there are no blinds yet. Phone charger. Basic cleaning products, dish soap, some older towels.

    2. Paper plates/plastic utensils/glasses were some of the first things I brought over. I didn’t end up using all of them, but it was super helpful when I was there over dinner time to have something.

      If you have a spare shower curtain, I’d bring it over, just in case. Rags and a basic cleaning product as well would be super handy to have in case anything spills while you’re working and would require more than paper towels to clean up.

    3. Oh, and one more thing – my husband was thinking maybe we shouldn’t use our household Dyson stick vacuum there while there are still workers going in and out possibly tracking more “industrial” dust around (we’re getting new insulation in the attic, for one). I think the Dyson could probably handle it but also would prefer not to damage it. Thoughts?

      1. If I had the option I would use a shop vac rather than a stick vac for insulation mess. I’d rather my “indoor” vacuum not be covered in renovation dust. The shop vac can go live in the garage once it does its job; it won’t end up in a closet with my clothing later on.

        1. This. Also, renovation dust will kill a normal vacuum (or lead to its early demise). Ask me how I know!

        2. OP here and maybe we’ll rent a shop vac – the attic guys should ideally be covering everything off fully, but we all know that no one is perfect and that gross attic dust may make its way into the house.

          1. FWIW, we did our attic insulation ourselves a year ago (fiberglass rolls) and it was not nearly as messy as I anticipated. We covered everything the first day, closed off doors, put tarps all over the furniture and the floors. The second day, we didn’t bother with any of that because there just wasn’t much mess to speak of. The worst was tracking in dirt on our shoes as we carried the rolls into the house.

            Drywall dust is way messier.

          3. Just buy yourself a wet/dry vac. You will get your money’s worth from it from the start. That’s the first item we bought when we closed on our house and we have never regretted that for a minute.

            A rental is going to be utterly filthy – people use them for sewage cleanup – and will spew who knows what into the air.

        3. i’d ask the team if they can do a vent cleaning for you and if not schedule it afterwards – you’d be amazed how much of that dust and detritis gets into the AC and vents

      3. Your husband is absolutely right. I borrowed a shop vac with a good HEPA filter (I bought it) to get as much industrial dust I could. Then I dry mopped and finally wet mopped everything. That dust is bad. And you will never have an empty house to clean well again.

        You can also hire someone to do it all for you.

    5. Still annoying to cut, but we got some really nice cork drawer/shelf liner from Williams Sonoma that I enthusiastically recommend for both looks and being non-plastic

      1. Lol, don’t worry, that is what we’re doing! But in the meantime, I prefer not to trip over massive dust bunnies while we’re measuring/babyproofing because it hasn’t been cleaned since before staging.

        1. Still, your husband is right. The Dyson filter is poor, and you will just be shooting the fine dust back into the air to breathe and resettle. At least borrow a vacuum from a neighbor/friend that actually has a bag.

    7. Congrats! I just went through this.

      I appreciated having frozen/nonperishable food and disposable plates, utensils, and napkins at the new place. I also kept some chairs over there to have somewhere to sit.

    12. Camp chairs until you move your furniture over. Taking breaks sitting on the floor gets old quickly.

    13. Lamps if there isn’t sufficient overhead lighting. Scissors. In addition to garbage bags bring garbage cans. It drives me nuts when there’s a garbage bag on the floor of every room.

    14. Bring over a Bluetooth speaker so you can listen to music while cleaning and unpacking.

  5. We’ve used the same house cleaning business for at least five years. It’s an owner and usually 1-2 other people, not a mega company. They used to do a fantastic job, but their work has been very mid for about a year now. Fine, but not doing some of the things they used to. DH has noticed that there used to be 2 cleaners working for about 2 hours, and now it’s 1 cleaner working for an hour, max. A decent number of cleanings have had to be rescheduled because of conflicts on their end. And yesterday the cleaner came, and I honestly can’t even tell if she vacuumed. My husband is over it and wants to find someone new. I agree, but I feel super guilty. The owner seems stretched really thin and recently had a baby. So even though the job is pretty subpar, it feels bad to fire someone who is having a rough time.

    The other part of me is like … should we just do this ourselves? We are more than capable of cleaning our own house. The cleaners come every 2 weeks. We have 2 adults, 2 tweens/teens, 2 pets. House is about 2,500 square feet. With that many people and critters, daily upkeep is already necessary so what’s a few more chores? Except that I am the person most bothered by mess and grime, so there’s that. We’ve been paying for help to save us time and effort.

    I know I’m overthinking this. Thoughts?

    2. Have you tried to talk to them about it? If you feel so badly, I might try reaching out and giving them a chance to fix it first. (Although I also will tell you that if they aren’t doing a good job and you just want a change, you should feel completely justified in giving them notice and moving on. It’s ok!) I would not recommend going sans cleaning service. Picking up is one thing. Cleaning floors and bathrooms after years of not doing it is no fun. I don’t want to waste my precious free-time doing it as long as I can afford to pay for it.

      1. I would maybe consider going without a cleaning service once the kids are all away at college, but there is no way I would do it with kids still in the house assuming you can afford it. Spend this time enjoying your kids (or at least being available to them as the ignore you).

        But I’m also someone who will cut out a lot of stuff before I go without a cleaning service. Of If I never have to clean another bathroom in my life, great.

        1. Every once in a while I consider cutting my weekly cleaning service back to every other week, and sometimes I even do it. And I always go back. Even with just two adults and two cats. It’s worth it.

          Also, I have found that relationships with cleaning services run their course and sometimes it’s just time to switch.

          1. Interesting, I wonder if that’s what has happened here. They used to be excellent. But the decline in service has been noticeable, the longer we’ve been their customers.

          1. That! And yes, I also noted that my cleaning person has cut a good half hour/45 min from her weekly time.

    3. I’d fire them and start doing it yourself. Look at it this way – your kids will be going to college soon and you want to teach them how to clean/manage a house and this is a good start. My mom also fired our cleaners at about this age and we spent a good part of Saturday AM cleaning as a family.
      One piece of advice – assign chores/rooms, agree on what ‘cleaning’ means, and what good looks like. Your kids won’t instinctively know to dust first, wipe down surfaces, then vacuum, then mop last for example.

      1. Yes, there’s no better time to learn this. Don’t set your kids up to need a cleaning service themselves (the chores they do aren’t the same).

        1. OP here. I don’t see it as a failure that we use a cleaning service. In fact, it took a LOT for me to admit that we needed some extra help because I grew up doing all of that. We didn’t have a service until after our second kid was born and we were drowning as two working parents. It was a way to “buy” our time. Obviously life circumstances have changed a lot since then!

          1. I really don’t think you need to defend yourself about having a cleaning service. Your kids will be fine! People here have lately gotten really hung up on that subject.

          2. I don’t think anyone is calling you a failure for needing a service–this is separate from making sure you are teaching your kids to step up and become more functional adults and useful parts of the family unit. They can’t just be takers, they have to be helpers.

          3. It’s not a failure at all to use a cleaning service! I’m an enthusiastic supporter of hiring cleaning services. It’s just different from essentially needing one or letting things to heck without one as a result of lacking the skills because of always having had a service growing up (very different position from the position you are in).

          4. Yeah this is not a failure. What about a “split the difference” approach for your kid’s sake? You all do one week, the cleaners come in once a week for a couple of months. Your kids learn to clean, you get to assess how much work this is for your family and also gauge the quality of the cleaning service.

          5. An adult that can clean a house and is choosing to use a cleaning service is totally different than someone who has never bothered to teach their child how to mentally manage and do those deep cleaning tasks. If you are certain your kids already know how to do these things, great! If not, this is a very reasonable suggestion. You know your situation, and whether this suggestion applies to you, you don’t need to jump in and defend yourself here.

      2. Yes, for the love of everything please teach your kids how to properly clean if they haven’t learned by now.

    4. Let the house cleaners know you’re going to try cleaning for yourself (your kids are old enough, and you want them to learn how to fully maintain a house). Actually do that!

      If after giving in a fair shot you find that you want cleaners again, by then either your old cleaners will not have a slot (reason to find new people), or if you want to give them another chance, you’ll find that they’re over their slump, or the rehiring process will involve clarifying expectations in a helpful way.

    5. Can you up your self-cleaning, and leave the heavy duty stuff to the bi-weekly cleaners? Get them to do a comprehensive dusting, vacuum, and deep clean the bathrooms. Maybe wash kitchen floor. You and family do the routine daily stuff.

      Get your kids involved. To be honest, I grew up with a stay at home mom who also had a cleaning service and I never had to clean anything. So it’s hard to convince myself as an adult that cleaning has anything to do with me! We are a smaller household with no kids/pets, so don’t accumulate dirt as quickly, but I find it really hard to buckle down and do a weekly cleaning. Maybe if I had to do more of it as a kid it would not seem like such a pain.

      1. Your first paragraph describes what we’re doing now. For having a cleaning service, we are still doing … a lot of cleaning.

    6. Switch your cleaner to do a monthly deep clean (so you spare yourself the hardest scrubbing) and give your kids some practice maintaining a home with weekly chores like toilet cleaning. Thanks, love their future roommates.

    7. Hire your kids to do this work.

      But also, if you can afford it, give the owner a large “baby present” of cash as a goodbye gift.

      1. Why would you do this? If she is paying them a fair amount for the house cleaning, cannot we not normalize this type of behavior?

        1. Because these are people you trusted to be in your home. You can’t just treat them as a transaction.

        2. You’re arguing against being kind to a person who is in a worse financial position than you and who has a new baby? You don’t want to “normalize” being nice to people if you can afford to be?

          Good lord. Some of your fruits of the spirit are just dead on the vine.

          1. I see your perspective, but it’s also hard when different kinds of tipping and bonuses start to set expectations for exactly the kinds of services that very financially strapped disabled people need most (it’s just human nature that some people to start to resent not getting those things when they’ve been normalized).

          2. People aren’t required to avoid being kind to protect your pocketbook….? How narcissistic.

    8. I switched cleaning services. I also use a small company, but they come over in a team of four and do a fantastic job.

    9. I clean my own house, it takes 2 hours max for me to tackle including changing bedding and bathroom etc. both work full time, 2 kids and a dog. I used to have a service but it’s one less thing for me to have to coordinate now.

    10. Complain,give them a chance to do better, then fire if they don’t. You’re paying for a service.

    11. LOL i feel like we are leading parallel lives. I’ve had my cleaners for almost 9 years. It used to be 3 people for 1.5-2 hours (but they did have lunch at my house so let’s call it 1.5), then 2 people for 2 hours, now it’s one person for two hours MAX. It’s definitely not as clean as it used to be but in the 9 years we’ve had them, the price hasn’t changed all that much. I feel like the price we pay now is a little below market for a good cleaning- but also, we don’t get a good cleaning. I don’t want to offer to pay more for this existing service.

      2. How has the cost of living changed over the last 9 years? Shrinkflation is everywhere — even in the service industry. The cost of housing/food/health insurance etc… has skyrocketed. Even poor people employed as cleaners have to somehow try to do the same work with less. It is impossible of course. But if they doubled the amount they charged you, you wouldn’t like that either. So this is how things change unless you are hiring more expensive cleaners.

        1. I think this is the right answer. There are only so many hours in the day and they are probably trying to keep their customers and also keep afloat. Something has to give and it’s the quality of cleaning in your case.

  6. I’ve complained here before about my not so bright junior (who was a transfer from another team) and how it was making my work life very difficult. Well today he was transferred, he’s someone else’s problem. I feel really bad because I’m friends with his new manager and he is so excited to get the ‘help’ I didn’t have the heart to warn him, hopefully our executives had an honest chat before making this move. Regardless, I am FREE!!!!

    1. I wouldn’t warn him; don’t feel bad about it. Congratulations!! I always try to share stories like this with managers who are feeling guilty when dealing with problem employees (they should worry more about all their other employees!).

    2. Yeah, don’t warn him. That just ensures it won’t work out. And with different chemistry, there is a chance it will and everyone ends up happy.

        1. I really hope he flourishes but this is the 3 time he’s been transferred because of performance issues.

      2. Yes — have seen this happen. Sometimes jobs are just bad fits. Have also seen the same person get bounced to a different team and fail, but you won’t know until it happens.

    3. this is basically the same post as the one above with the junior person. how did we get to the point that we don’t give anyone open or constructive feedback about anything anymore?

      1. He got nearly 2 years of constructive feed back. I instituted SOPs, tracking software, checklists, weekly touch bases. You name it I tried it. None of it worked.

          1. I guess it depends on the job. If it’s a job with known responsibilities and rote work and he just isn’t doing it, I agree. If it’s like job’s I’ve had where you just have to generate endless streams of nonsense with limited direction, I can see how it happens.

          2. Seriously. How in the world does this person keep getting transferred? What a waste.

  7. Do you have any brands, habits, or “milestones” that are aspirational or leveling up to you?

    I’m usually super frugal but sometimes I’m bit by the “aspirational” bug. So far, I’ve been very happy when I’ve upgraded or leveled up.

    I really felt like I “made it” when I bought a dipytique candle, for example. My upgrades to linen sheets, a Shark hairdryer and Madewell jeans have also been totally worth it.

    I have my eye on a Cuyana tote, but havent convinced my government salary self its worth it yet.

    1. my daily coffee is made from whole beans ground in a fancy grinder, and brewed with a fancy espresso machine. That feels luxe after all these years still.
      Just bought two dresses from Hobbs which feels like spoiling myself.

      1. I also got a fancy grinder and local roasted beans and a pour over. Wow, after making my own pour over, I dislike all other brewed coffee. All of the flavor, none of the bitterness. Such an inexpensive and convenient way to level up!

    2. Paying to upgrade to business class for long-haul flights. Yes, I know we all get to the same place, but the difference in how I feel for the first few days of the trip is remarkable.

      2. +2 and if buying tickets outright isn’t in the budget, pay a few hundred dollars to get on the upgrade waitlist (the money is refunded if the upgrade doesn’t clear). It’s not a guarantee but goes through for me pretty often and is *much* cheaper than buying a business class ticket outright.

    3. I don’t really “aspire” to clothing brands, but do feel like I’ve leveled up whenever we replace one of our ancient vehicles with a car that is from the current decade.

      For me, I aspire to clothing that fits me well, is made of high quality fabric and sewn with skill. Some brands have an ethos that aligns with those values, but they are not always the pricy brands (and not all pricy brands actually provide those features).

      1. OP here – I don’t care much about brands, but Ive “graduated” to caring about quality. So, natural fibers and well constructed clothing.

        1. Same. My Cuyana tote is 8 year old and it’s only now really needing a replacement. I work the bananas out of it. It’s my daily bag, travel carry on (packing it to the brim), has doubled as a diaper bag on weekends… it’s genuinely the most bang for the buck purchase I’ve ever made. Now, it’s tired though. I can still use it in my daily life – no signs of snaps breaking off by some miracle – but it’s officially a bit beat up for work.

          I’m actually right now really considering a $$$$ upgrade. I can afford it. It won’t change anything about my daily life or long/medium/short financial goals. I just got a new job/promotion and would like to treat myself to an extent. But I’m somehow still really shy to pull the trigger. So, I don’t have a good answer for you OP! I used to be super money anxious, but in time I’ve come to convince myself that the reason I work my rear end off is so that I can also live in the moment a bit too, and not just shove all extra money to savings and retirement. Maybe that mindset will help you pull the trigger on Cuyana, a purchase I wholeheartedly endorse..

    5. Being able to buy Pottery Barn bedding was one of those milestones for me.
      I don’t buy cheap shoes anymore. My comfort is worth spending more.
      I have started realizing that I’m stuck in frugality mode for clothing, though. It’s hard because I am subject to some body fluctuations, so it’s easy to get into the “well, these LOFT pants will do for now,” when I’m really searching for something high quality that fits perfectly.

      1. I hear you. If it makes you feel better, our clothing market isn’t really geared to giving you high quality pants that fit well—it’s really the luck of the “current” cut vs body shape. So I give myself permission to have cheap pants and spend the money on shoes and things that are actually nice AND fit.

        1. This is true! I weirdly feel better about spending more on athleisure pants (because they actually fit well) and less on office pants (where the cuts can make or break everything). It feels backwards to me since I wear work pants nearly every day, but thanks for confirming that I’m not crazy for not spending my money there.

    6. I feel like a basic b, but for me it’s Lululemon workout clothes. I find them far superior in comfort, quality, and fit and I work out 4-6x/week. Enough to get me through a week in both warm and cold weather would be ideal, but I’m not quite there yet.

    7. I felt like I had made it when I was able to buy a car with cash instead of financing it. I felt the same way when all of our appliances died at the same time and we were able to replace them without any stress.

    8. Mattress. Shoes. Winter coat. Matching underwear. Fresh food. Good coffee. Pen. Exercise watch. Etc…

    9. I leveled up to Longchamp Roseau bags for my daily bags. I am rough on bags so I’m going to deem these as both quite nice and indestructible. I find them from time to time on deep discount on the Nordstrom rack site. So far I’ve got black, pale blue, and a red croc.

  8. Let’s talk skirts. What type of midi skirts are still current looking? Satin, bias cut, pleated, printed?

    2. Whatever works for your body type. I’ve been a fashion victim in lots of “current” skirts over the past two decades. Tired of that nonsense.

      1. I have realized that I really dislike wearing skirts! On my body type, I find them fussy and difficult to style. Dresses are fine. It’s just skirts that I hate.

    3. printed & fuller has taken over from the slinky satin bias cut (ex the JCrew Gwyneth skirt, which was kind of everywhere a few years ago) in my world.

  9. Question about second hand si tes. I’m looking at a Mulberry bag on Poshmark listed for $900. I don’t often buy from second hand sites so I want to make sure I’m protected. It says “Authentication Included – Verified by Our Experts Before Delivery”. I learned here last week(ish) that Poshmark doesn’t always authenticate. Would you feel ok about this purchase given it will be authenticated by them?

    2. No. I would not buy an expensive handbag from a second hand site. I would buy second-hand from a retailer or other reputable in-person shop where I could see what I am getting.

      YMMV, but $900 is too much money for me to risk on a potentially fake handbag, even if I’d buy it straight from the retailer for that price (or more).

    3. No, especially because for a smaller brand like Mulberry they won’t have as much experience authenticating a Roxanne from 2015 versus a LV speedy that’s been produced for years and years. Either buy and invest in your own reputable authentication method or go to a site like Yoogis, Fashionphile, that actually does a good job at catching fakes (although some are so good it’s never 100% guaranteed)

  10. I’m having such a hard time transitioning my style to the warmer weather. I’ve got my colder weather style down: sweaters, jeans, ponte leggings/ankle pants, booties or tall boots, leather jackets. I’m struggling to turn this into warm weather looks. For example, I went to a winery last weekend and it was 80 degrees outside, and I had no idea what to wear. I ended up wearing light jeans and a plain white tee, but I wasn’t thrilled with it. Any suggestions for how to figure out a warm-weather wardrobe? I mostly wear black, white, or dark colors – blue, grey, burgundy, etc. No ruffles, no poof, and I usually stick to solid colors – very few patterns, although I’m not 100% opposed.

    1. denim shorts are really in right now – I’d look at Shopbop or Veronica Beard or something to set your mind visually on what you want and then look at the mall stores for something similar but cheaper.

      sundress would also be great for wine tasting.

      i do love cloud/gauze/doublecloth/muslin pants and tops but i feel weird wearing them together. the pants always look like PJs on me though so i don’t think they’re terribly stylish. i got some at JJill last year that were cropped and had pockets and didn’t feel overly PJ-like but were still very comfortable.

      1. Sundresses look like costumes on me, so I skip them. I do like shorts though, linen, denim, cotton. They feel like an authentic version of me and not like I’m wearing my “european vacation clothes” to the winery.

    2. Good quality linen wide leg or barrel pants and a quality button down or t shirt are good to consider. Pair with chic simple jewelry and sandals.

      1. +1. You should find one light color that works with your complexion though. Pale shades might feel more natural for you than bright colors.

    3. Athleta linen pants with a t-shirt or tank in your preferred colors? They are great even when it’s warm.

      I also think matching linen shorts and tank outfits are really cute.

      1. I also wear those Athleta linen pants a lot in warm weather. Add lighter wash cropped jeans, linen shorts from like BRF or J Crew Factory, a couple of J Crew linen shirt dresses, and maybe a few sundresses. The only difference is that I like color so warm weather is a great time to find basics in those colors.

    4. Given that it sounds like you feel best in neutral clothes that have some structure to them and as simply cut (boots, leather jacket, leggings), here’s where I’d start:

      Linen shirt dress in black or navy. Or a neutral stripe.
      Sleeveless, simply cut, linen dress. No smocking or ruffles needed.
      Cropped wide-leg twill or canvas pants, in a dark neutral and in a light neutral. Make sure they fit well and have some structure.
      Light-wash jeans in current cut.
      Really well-fitting t-shirts in your favorite dark neutral colors black, gray, white, and navy
      Tank tops (if you wear them) in white, gray, black
      Linen blazer in black or navy
      white or striped long-sleeved linen shirt
      Short-sleeved linen camp shirt(s) in your favorite colors
      Very current sandals or on-trend sneakers

      You could put together a bunch of casual outfits with these items.

    5. I’m in the same boat, but I do wear lots of colors. I have tried to get some of my tried and true cold weather pants/jeans in lighter colors, as well as staples like cardigans and blouses. There’s just something about the seasonal change that I”m unhappy wearing dark clothes from top to bottom, even though I like it in the fall and winter!

  11. Any recommendations for organic cotton bedsheets that actually hold up? Have been very disappointed with my old go-tos, Company Store and Garnet Hill – I had to add pillowcases from both brands to my textile recycling bag because they’re coming apart after just 2-3 years.

    1. Target has always been my go-to for sheets and their organic cotton ones are nice. I just want percale, which is getting harder and harder to find at a reasonable price, organic or not.

    2. I didn’t like the Company Store sheets, and they are pricey! I keep going back to the organic sheets from Costco.

  12. Follow-up to the shorts conversation from yesterday. I wear shorts with a cute top all the time in summer in cities in the US (for walking around, but also dinner at casual spots, bars, etc.), and I see lots of other women my 40-ish age doing the same. Is this also a reasonable way to dress on a hot day in London? I’ve spent a lot of time there over the years but now I’m realizing never in mid-summer until this year!

    1. Totally a fine way to dress. London doesn’t really get that hot compared to the US, but they also tend to lack ac. So you need to dress for like a mid level warm not the constant oscillation between freezing cold and scorching hot.

      1. Great, thanks! I get hot super easily so I tend to prefer summery clothes at a lower temp level than most people.

        1. I had the same concern about Paris (had always gone in fall or spring weather) and ended up packing neutral linen sundress type looks, which felt less “American” than shorts even if shorts wouldn’t have been “inappropriate.”

    2. I would just avoid too-short shorts and I think a nice twill or linen short will look more polished and less touristy than denim. If you can pull it off, I think a linen bermuda-length short with a belt and cute blouse would look great.

      1. +1 I wear longer shorts in London to keep my skin away from seat fabric on the tube! It’s fine but I think closer to knee knee length is more stylish.

  13. I need a raincoat, and I want one in a color that makes me happy. I’m looking at the Squall Packable Waterproof Raincoat from Lands End in Compass Red. Has anyone tried this one?

    I live in the SEUS, FWIW. In the winters I usually just wear my waterproof down puffer, so I’m looking for something to wear spring/summer/fall on rainy days.

    1. I haven’t but now am considering it- can’t really go wrong with LE outerwear on any level.

    2. I haven’t, but I’ve been pleased with the various types of LE outerwear I’ve bought for my kids over the years. The red is happy; go for it!

    3. never had bad experiences with lands’ end outerwear, but it does go pretty cheap eventually. seasalt cornwall also makes fun colors and raincoats.

  14. if you live in the suburbs of boston or similar, how much would you expect to pay for biweekly housecleaning for a 4-5br 4000sq ft home? And how many person-hours of work?

    Thanks!

      1. oh, fair question. about 2800 sq ft. 2.5 bathrooms, 4 bedrooms, kitchen, family room, front entry, basically unused dining and living rooms. We don’t have them clean the fully finished basement and bathroom or the downstairs mudroom.

    2. I am in a burb to the north. 5 BR, 3 BA house. I total SF is 3kish. We pay $160 every other week. Usually a crew of 2 and they’re here for 90-120 mins. I feel like we really could have used a deeper or more frequent clean when we had a (large, shedding) dog and would have paid more accordingly but just never got around to making the ask. But since losing her a few months ago, the every other week cleaning seems to keep up with our family of 4 which includes little kids.

    3. We pay $200 for biweekly cleaning of a 5 bed, 3 bath home (only ~2,800 sq ft but I think # of bedrooms and bathrooms are more relevant to price than total sq ft).
      I’m in a LCOL area but I haven’t found cleaning services to be cheaper here than in VHCOL areas (because of supply and demand I think?). Our cleaner is one person but she usually brings a family member to help and they stay for 2-3 hours.

      1. Based on this thread I think I’m overpaying for cleaning in an LCOL area! That said, I agree with Anon 1:07 that I haven’t seen a real difference in cleaning costs between my current LCOL area and my previous VHCOL area. Less competition here, maybe.

        1. lol for real! i just checked, in our MCOL area in the midwest we pay $153 for small cleans and $288 for big cleans. they come every 2 weeks and we alternate between small and big. 4500 sf house but they never clean basement so 3000sf… on small cleans they basically just do 2 bathrooms and kitchen, and on the big cleans they also mop, vacuum the bedrooms, and do an additional 2 bathrooms.

        2. yeah, cleaning service was the one and only expense that went up when we moved from the Bay Area to the LCOL Midwest. We did move to a bigger space but I think it was more the lack of competition here.

  15. Speaking of business class flights, we got a really amazing deal on them from the US to Japan but it involves a 12 hour layover from 7 pm to 7 am in Taipei. This is actually pretty cool, because I’ve never been to Taiwan and although we’re getting a hotel room I’m hoping we won’t need a full night of sleep because the flight from the US is 14 hours and takes off in the afternoon, so we should get a decent rest in the second half of the flight. I’m wondering if anyone has suggestions for how to best make use of the time? A visit to a night market was my immediate thought, but would love other ideas. I will have my 9 year old with me but she’s a good traveler.

    1. Curious which route/airline you are taking, I would love to travel to Japan via Taipei!
      Check out the Eslite bookstore that is open 24 hours, and also get a foot reflexology massage which would be great after the long flight!

      1. Thanks! We’re flying SFO-Taipei (TPE) on United and Taipei (TSA) to Tokyo Haneda on EVA Air. Bought the flights from United. I think it was such a good deal because we have to change airports in Taipei? But with a 12 hour layover we’d be leaving the airport anyway so it’s not that big a deal.

    2. Plan to eat dinner at a night market is probably the best use of your time. You could also consider a night bus tour of the city.

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