Tuesday’s Workwear Report: Magnolia Tie-Neck Blouse

211 Comments

1. Health Q: early 40s, had my annual physical yesterday. Literally everything is fine and normal with me except a worsening lipid panel which is now in borderline range and weight gain from last year’s visit. BMI now 37 but it’s been an issue since high school. I have tried various weight loss methods and I haven’t been able to keep up with anything – work/kids/willpower/whatever. I looked into GLP-1s but didn’t act on it for financial reasons as our insurance doesn’t reduce costs (would count toward deductible but otherwise would essentially be cash prices). I could do Lilly Direct for $250-$500/mo but wouldn’t count toward our deductible as Caremark no longer is affiliated.

   I haven’t bought much into perimenopause stuff yet but have been noticeably more ragey, irritable, and sleep deprived for a while now, so maybe that’s another factor.

   Dr brought up GLP-1s for the first time yesterday. I should probably just bite the bullet and do that now despite costs, right?

   1. Yes. Your health and mental wellbeing are worth it, girl!

   2. Yes, if it’s what your doctor is advising, it’s worth giving it a try. You just need to weigh the odds of meeting your deductible or not.

   3. Yes, and it’s actually much less hassle to not go through insurance. You also save money because you’re not eating as much.

      1. I don’t believe the savings on groceries could ever come close to the cost of the drug. If your family grocery bill is, say, $1400 a month, one person’s reducing their snacking might cut $100 if that person is eating large portions of expensive snacks. Reducing your portion sizes at meals is not really going to save you money because someone else will eat your leftovers or they will end up getting thrown away. Maybe if you live alone and cook half as often and eat all the leftovers you will see savings?

         1. We don’t ever throw away food. My husband eats the same amount regardless of how much I eat (he doesn’t start eating more because I’m eating less). So I don’t see how we couldn’t save money if I were eating less.

         2. While I agree that it is not likely someone would cut so much from the grocery bill due a decreased appetite that the food savings would pay for the meds, this does not make sense.

            Do you think extra people magically appear to eat the increased amount of leftovers? Or that most people are totally cool with throwing out extra leftovers and won’t change their cooking habits to accommodate this?

            1. Yesterday we had veggie burgers for dinner. I ate half of mine. It would have been gross and soggy reheated, so I threw it out.

            2. My husband will eat anything that’s left over, yes.

            3. My husband will also happily eat leftovers, but if there were suddenly twice as many it’s not like he’s going to sustainably eat that many more. And while we may throw away some leftovers in the short term, we would cook less or become more intentional about finding ways to use the excess if this was a new norm.

               Our monthly grocery bill averages $600 for the two of us, though, and we rarely order takeout or dine at restaurants. Perhaps we are more cognizant of minimizing waste than some here.

         3. Well my husband and I are both on GLP1s and our grocery and dining out costs are half. It more than pays for itself.

            1. I think we spend at least as much even though my husband is on GLP1s and lost a substantial amount of weight. He buys more expensive protein-rich foods, which are expensive compared to cheap crackers and pretzels. I’m completely happy with this, but our grocery bill is unchanged.

            2. My husband is not on GLP1s but has also lost a bunch of weight, and our grocery bill has actually gone up. Meat, fish, fresh vegetables, berries, and Greek yogurt are a lot more expensive than pasta.

            3. Same, my husband is not on a GLP1 but has lost a lot of weight recently and our grocery bills are higher now. He eats a ton of meat, eggs, seafood, fruit and vegetables all of which are much more expensive per calorie than bread products.

               I also thought GLP1s at least partly worked by kick-starting your metabolism, not necessarily reducing calories in, so that wouldn’t have any cost-savings.

            4. GLP1s should help with metabolism and reduce caloric intake needs both (we don’t need to eat for energy if we have already have energy because we’re already burning calories).

            5. The main weight loss benefit from GLP1s is from eating less. As you eat less, and hopefully not lose all your muscle because you are exercising as well, the muscle bulk improvement will help your metabolism down the road.

            6. They don’t kick start your metabolism. They make it take longer for your stomach to digest food, so that you don’t feel hunger cues as often.

            7. GLP1s don’t just slow down digestion or reduce appetite (meds that only do that aren’t as effective). It affects how the body responds to food as well (remember this category of med has been used for diabetes for years).

         4. Omg, you buy and order less food. You don’t just reduce your portions, you’re cutting them in half in many cases.

            1. How does that apply in restaurants unless you and your husband are literally splitting one meal? You order a meal, not a quantity of food.

            2. Right, for example, you don’t boil the whole box of spaghetti, you boil half the box and use the other half later.

            3. Spaghetti is super cheap though, compared to other parts of one’s diet. If you’re eating fewer calories but more fresh chicken and fish, and more fresh fruits but fewer carbs and junk food, it’s a wash.

            4. Or you already ate quality food and are now just eating less of it and therefore it is a savings and not a wash.

            5. My credit card bill says otherwise.

            6. Some of us already cut carbs and junk food from our diets ages ago and are already only eating expensive nutrient dense foods as part of a weight management strategy. In this scenario, if GLP1 helps us get by on fewer calories, we’d be eating less expensive fresh foods since that’s all we eat anyway. If it improved insulin resistance or glucose tolerance, maybe we’d even get to eat some cheap carbs for the first time in years.

            7. Yes, you order differently. Sometimes you split or you order an appetizer instead of a full meal. I’m sensing a distinct lack of imagination, so you may just want to try it and experience the changes.

            8. 10:16 is right, we already ate protein and vegetables and now eat half, and yes, we share one meal in a restaurant instead of ordering two. Our food consumption is literally half.

            9. If you already ate quality food, I’m surprised you had a major weight problem tbh

            10. 10:06 – perhaps you actually do split a single meal. Or maybe you take your leftovers home and have them for lunch the next day, when you otherwise would have eaten the entire amount for dinner and then had to make a whole separate meal the next day.

                This is basic logic, basic imagination stuff. It should not be that difficult to fathom.

            11. 10:32 please understand that many people still have a weight problem eating quality foods, and also that many people who have a weight problem eating whatever would still have a weight problem if they switched to quality foods! This should not be surprising.

            12. 10:32, this is an obnoxious comment. My spouse has just lost 60 pounds on a GLP-1. He has always sourced his food carefully and makes his food from scratch. This wasn’t a protection from overeating.

            13. Why would you think a diet of quality food would prevent weight issues? Eating too much healthy food for your activity level still means your body needs to put the extra calories somewhere, regardless of whether they came from chicken and quinoa or corn chips and nacho cheese sauce.

            14. Who said I had a major weight problem? And so what if someone does. Show your ignorance more please.

            15. A lot of people also basically have to eat too many calories if high insulin is shunting calories into fat cells instead of making it available to burn as energy. Unless their jobs let them just wander off to lie down and rest when they run out of energy I suppose! A third of US adults has insulin resistance and most of us need to function anyway. If GLP1 lets us access energy without “eating again” we’re going to eat a lot less.

            16. yea we have two kids, they are growing, even if we eat less, they eat more. our grocery bill has not been reduced at all

            17. What causes people to develop insulin resistance?

            18. In USA there were some now illegal pollutants our grandmothers were exposed to that cause insulin resistance in granddaughters. I think that doesn’t explain men though.

                There are some widely used herbicides that block the receptors in the GI system that exist to trigger the release of GLP1.

                There’s also a lot of research on microbiome disruption (from pollution, microplastics, antibiotics, etc.). Modern exposures basically plus genetic susceptibility. There’s also some research on epigenetic changes if our recent ancestors experienced food insecurity (mine definitely did).

            19. My husband and I always split a meal at restaurants and I also drink way less on a GLP-1. As for home-cooked food, I regularly eat half my dinner at dinner, and the rest for lunch the next day. I am Team You Save Money.

            20. Restaurants: an entree is usually far too much food for me. I am most likely ordering an appetizer as my entree. For regular groceries: I have seen significant savings. I always ate healthy, I just ate too much. The drop in grocery bills does not pay for my meds but it sure does offset the cost.

            21. I hope you’re tipping like 40% if you’re ordering an appetizer as an entree in a restaurant. It’s basically the same work for the server, with a much lower tip unless you massively bump up the percentage you’re tipping.

      2. My husband makes dinner with a piece of meat, veggies and a starch. The leftovers don’t always get eaten. I tend to cook one put meals with a plan to freez one batch for the next week and put one batch in the refrigerator for the next night or for when one of us is out the for evening and the other can heat up quickly. Now that I am dieting, I just skip the starch he makes unless it is sweet potato.

   4. FWIW, I go through Ro and it’s much less than the numbers you posted. I get their annual subscription so it’s $75/mo to buy from them and the wegovy pill is $150/mo.

      1. How much is the annual subscription? Is it the actual drug or a compounded version?

         1. It’s the actual drug and they offer monthly and yearly pricing for the subscription. You’d have to go to them to see what they’re charging now.

            1. I paid $888/year, so roughly $75/mo for the subscription. Totally worth it.

      2. If you can get a prescription from your doctor, it’s probably not worth it to pay for a subscription like Ro/Hers/etc.

         1. It sounds like she has a high deductible that she doesn’t anticipate meeting.

         2. It may not be, but my point is those services are less than what she posted as the cost so it may be worth looking into. I wouldn’t let $300/mo get in the way of my health and well being.

         3. A prescription from. your doctor doesn’t mean insurance will cover it. In fact, most insurance won’t. I’ve been on Cigna, Aetna and BCBS PPOs at different employers between my husband and I and none of them covered it. That’s why I was asking about the subscription cost. I’m paying Zepbound direct for about $400 a month now (lower doses at the beginning were less).

   5. If you’re in a part of the country near the Canadian border, there’s a generic available there and it’s the cheapest at Costco. Depending on the province, a pharmacist may be able to prescribe it.

      1. I will need to look into this! I am about a 45min drive away from a Costco in Canada assuming no border delays. I’m not sure if the savings would net out for the time and hassle but good idea. Thank you for raising.

         1. I drive 2 hours to the Costco nearest to me in Canada (a US one is equally far in the opposite direction), and it’s worth it even with that drive for the items I need that are either available there but not in the US store (Sudafed without signing my life aways, more selection/better winter stuff), or cheaper (epi pen, diet coke), or both (San Marzano tomatoes). I don’t get anything perishable, obviously. Also, given everything, sometimes it’s just nice to get out of the country for a few hours.

         2. This is interesting. When I used to get a medicine at Costco, my doctor would also write a multi-month prescription so filling it in person was less inconvenient. Once I got a whole year supply with one prescription, in one visit! Now they mail meds as well in my area. I wonder if they would do that in Canada…

   6. Yes, especially as your doctor is supportive! You could go with a compound tirzepatide for about $200, but you’ll have to add the telehealth fee on top of that if your doctor doesn’t already work with a compound pharmacy.
      If it’s any consolation, Eli Lilly is expected to lower their Zepbound/Monjaro cost in 2027. There’s talk of it being reduced to $250. It’s important because you have to stay on the medication—studies show the vast majority of people gain it back once they stop. On the bright side, tirzepatide will also lower your cholesterol, blood pressure, inflammation, and cancer risk.
      Good luck OP!

      1. Another vote for compounded tirz. I’ve been on it for two years and it’s been life changing. I have no desire to pay Eli Lilly $$$ and there was no way insurance would cover for me. There are multiple subreddits that cover how to order, best prices, and recommended providers if you go that route.

   7. You might consider a med like Qsymia rather than a GLP-1. That’s what I’ve been doing and have healthfully lost 25 lbs without tearing my hair out. It’s about $100/mo from the manufacturer, as my insurance doesn’t cover it. Far more affordable and safe. My GP prescribes it and the prescription goes directly to the manufacturer’s online “pharmacy”, Medvantx. I know I sound like a shill, but it’s been a game changer for me.

      1. I’m glad it’s working for you. I would not characterize Qsymia as far more safe than a GLP1. Maybe Contrave.

2. This blouse makes me yearn for the days of bright white. Most every white-ish garment these days is a color like “moonlight” or “ sea salt.” The off tones are not flattering for me (a true winter) and always seem to have an undertone which make them difficult to coordinate.

   1. Same. I need a bright, crisp, cool white and not something with yellow undertones. My iron-rich well water will turn them that shade in the laundry soon enough anyhow. At least if they start out bright white I can get a season or two out of them with careful washing, liquid bluing, etc.

   2. Bright winter here, and all this is exactly true for me, too. Anything muted or earthy looks terrible on me.

   3. Same!

   4. Whereas I stock up when these warmer shades are in vogue because bright white makes me look dead!

      1. +1

   5. Oh, me too. Same same. I find it so annoying when I order something supposedly white and when it comes it is beige. Ugh.

      I’m a Winter. All off-whites makes me look dead.

3. Just need to vent into the ether. My org is hiring an executive-level position that oversees my area, and the finalists are so mid. They’re either looking for a cushy gig before retirement (it isn’t that cushy) or they don’t have much leadership experience at all and are operating on vibes. It’s disappointing. There has been a lot of turnover in this role, and I’m losing hope that it’ll ever get better. If this is the best we can do, it does not speak well for where we are as an org.

   1. I mean, so? Lots of perfectly good orgs have this issue. People will either grow into the role or they’ll leave. Why do you care? Do you actually have the experience to make this judgement?

      1. Why do I care? Because it affects my job? And yeah, I’m not a newbie or junior-level employee, and I’m sitting in on interviews, so I’d say I have the experience to make this judgment.

      2. Based on responses like this over the past couple of weeks I think we have a lot of bad and insecure managers posting here.

      3. What a weird response. Of course she would care!

      4. Corporette: I just need to vent about this problem that is obviously affecting my life or I wouldn’t need to vent.
         Mean Girl: snarky nasty response designed to make OP feel worse.

         1. It happens far too often.

   2. Is it an in-office role? Great candidates are looking for flexibility and hybrid, or just fully remote. No one good with lots of experience wants to go to the office every day.

      1. lol, this is not true at all

      2. Why are so many posters here unable to comprehend that their personal opinions and points of view not the universal truth experienced or shared by everyone else?? Are people just growing more dumb? Are the posters all AI bots?

         1. This is so true of the posters on this site!!

      3. Executive-level people generally do, in my experience.

      4. Yeah, no.

   3. It is always tough when there is a lot of turnover, and it can be very disappointing when it feels like you have a rotating door of managers who either struggle to step up or are just coasting into retirement. Some ways to get ahead of this (if you have not already done so) is to prepare (or refine) a presentation about your area and plan to get on the calendar of whoever gets the position (preferably in your work spaces so you can also lead a tour if applicable). Demonstrate competence in your area and show initiative in educating the new exec upfront. Once you have a routine and a briefing product, it’s easy enough to dust it off for a new exec or visiting stakeholder.

      1. Good points, thank you. At this point, I would prefer the candidate with less experience over the ones that will try to coast.

         1. I agree. I think you can manage up candidate with less experience and they can grow with the org if they are open minded and interested in doing so.

      2. Good advice for an exec with a healthy mind set

   4. Do you know why they can’t attract great candidates?

      1. Yes, I do. Some of which is within our control, and a lot that isn’t. Public institution.

   5. Why don’t you apply?

      1. Probably a political reason she wouldn’t be considered. Which might be contributing to the attitude toward candidates.

         1. This is really a stretch based on nothing.

      2. She could be, eg, a GC who is worried about the CFO recruitment.

   6. Please do not say the part about a cushy gig before retirement out loud in real life. It would be Exhibit A in a successful age discrimination lawsuit.

      1. I’m not an idiot; of course I wouldn’t say that!

   7. My employer has gone through this recently and they thankfully decided to not fill the role. They spent 5 months trying to fill the role and none of the candidates fit what they were looking for.

      All you can do is pray. It’s a tough market. The good people are not looking to move. Right now, it’s about finding someone ‘good enough’ who can be replaced with someone good when the job market eventually opens up.

4. Job hunting rant: applications that require references for submission. Employers should only be asking for references if they are about to make an offer and are actually going to check the references. I don’t want to tell my references I’m looking for a job and then go months without even getting an interview.

   1. Agree. I was never sure if the system would send an automated request to them so didn’t apply or put in dummy email addresses.

   2. Ugh indeed!

      I don’t think we even are allowed to give references (which I’d gladly do for the good people), so IDK how you really sort people out now. But as a pre-screen? No; don’t bother people like that.

      1. Realistically, you give them anyway – at least in my industry practically every employer has a policy against giving a reference beyond “they can call HR for a verification of employment dates” *and* also requires references for their hiring process. So it’s known and expected that decent managers give references anyway, against corporate policy. But you don’t list them at the application stage!

   3. Just input, then you’ll be asked at the end, and those will be the ones they go off of

   4. Academia here. References are expected and standard for all applicants. They are not contacted until we are ready to make an offer, though.

5. Our 8-unit condo is very friendly. New male neighbor moved in across from me and DH over the holiday weekend. We all work different hours it seems. How to meet him? We have a community garden and often host neighbors for dinners, so I know what to do when we finally meet but am finding it hard to actually meet him.

   1. Can you tell I wrote this before coffee? Lol. Apologies.

   2. Put a note on his door, either just saying hi, or inviting him to something (drinks in the garden?).

   3. Put a card on his door welcoming him to the community, offer to show him the community garden, here’s our number, feel free to text.

      1. +1, although slide it under the door vs. on it, IMHO.

      2. Yes, this. And then next time you’re hosting a neighbor dinner, slide a note under his door inviting him to that.

6. Has anyone encountered medical shared decision making? And had it not just be frantic googling and taking your best guess on something? I feel like asking “what would you do if you were me” did not unlock a clear answer. Coin toss?

   1. …are you the pre-coffee poster?

      1. Maybe one of many pre-coffee people?

   2. The idea behind shared decision-making is that you get to choose among available options with full knowledge of their potential benefits and risks, giving you the opportunity to maximize your own priorities. Have you tried asking something like “what would you choose if XYZ were your highest priority but you were also concerned about potential negative effect ABC?”

      1. Thanks! I feel like this is where I have to use the right words to unlock the answer. Or at least a piece of the puzzle. It’s so frustrating as a non medical person because I don’t know what I don’t know (or how to really find out). If they are all equivalent or maybe one just costs more, just TELL ME.

         1. The provider doesn’t know your priorities any better than you know the pros and cons of the different medical interventions. They don’t know what they don’t know, and only you can tell them.

            1. Different poster here, and I am a doctor. I feel that some doctors do put undue burdens on patients and families by offering them such complex possibilities in high stake circumstances. Surgical options, critical illness situations, cancer treatments and the like. I find it very irritating even with my own family member’s health circumstances, and myself have said to several doctors – “What would you do, if this was your mother, and why?”

   3. I think you’re trying to say that your provider didn’t give you a recommendation, but told you several options, and the ball is in your court to make a decision. Why in the world would you consider a coin toss? Why does the googling have to be frantic? If this was me, I’d do the following, in order:

      1. Get a second opinion – this doctor might not be the best fit for you, frankly
      2. Ask any doctors or experienced medical providers in your family or friend group
      3. Ask a family member or friend who is good at researching to, well, research it. Don’t rely on frantic googling.

      1. +1 to all of this. Also I’d seriously consider a new doctor unless there aren’t any other local options for you as it sounds like you prefer to be given more guidance here.
         Fwiw I prefer doctors who are willing to discuss options/trade-offs with me. I have a chronic illness that can be managed but not cured and prefer doctors who can sit in that uncertainty and present nuanced opinions vs. a ‘you must do option 1’. On the other hand, my boomer parents HATE doctors who try to give them options and just want to be told what to do, so I see the other side of the coin frequently.

   4. I do shared decision making from the other side of the exam table. What your provider should be doing is walking you through the choices saying things that let you weigh your competing priorities. If what you are encountering is a list with no road map, that’s not shared decision making. That’s abdication of responsibility. I agree with the other commenter about how to manage your clinician. However, in the year of our lord 2026, every clinician has been trained in how to do this and if it’s a big decision, you should seek a second opinion to hopefully find someone to walk you through the choices.

      1. I feel like in the year of our lord 2026, doctors and other providers are trying to ram a lot into a short window of time (during which you are asked the same low-level info about 5 times). The best provider I have I have been lucky enough to have an appointment with and no other appointment immediately following and it was so nice to have a serious discussion that didn’t feel so rushed. I am thinking that when you can’t resolve an issue in a short visit, you just need to book a follow up where you will need to ask for a referral to a second-opinion person if your issues haven’t been narrowed to one you can decide on.

         1. If it’s a big decision, the appointment shouldn’t be so rushed. Even for a medium-sized decision my specialist took five minutes to hear my priorities and discuss options.

   5. I think medical shared decision making really only works for people who like to go into their doctor appointments well-researched. This is coming from someone who only goes to doctors that are cool with shared decision making. I tend to ask about the data that supports a recommendation, what common complaints/benefits they see in their practice are, and I explain what kind of symptoms are most bothersome to me/things that I’m sensitive to. The doctor’s role in shared decision making is really just to help you understand the potential risks/rewards of different treatment options, and you get to weigh out those risks/rewards and make a decision based on your values and priorities.

      1. My annoyance is with gynecology, mine said that they train on mainly Medicaid patients and really never see a woman over 40 for things like menopause management. And many providers move out of close-in cities to suburbs when they have kids, so they often don’t age with their patients (but age where the patients are likely to be still interested in OB and GYN), so there is this huge structural knowledge gap except in concierge practices. If you are a woman > 40, how many OB-GYNs have you had at your practice because you live / work near a city and your providers keep leaving and their replacements are maybe in their 30s? I’m not hating on them — they seem to be equally frustrated and it’s almost like they are all asking the same older RN that everyone wants to become a nurse practitioner so she can see patients for exactly this.

         1. I live in a city, and there’s a great non-concierge gynecology practice with experienced, older menopause specialists nearby. Maybe you’re just in an area with healthcare shortages?

         2. In my city it’s kind of the opposite — lots of GYNs that don’t deliver babies anymore because being a regular GYN is a better schedule.

         3. Yeah, it’s so hard to find a good gynecologist where I am. Stuck in a red state for the time being, so lots of OBs have moved out without any new ones coming in and those that are still here are crazy busy and mostly focused on the pregnant patients because they’re so much more high risk than someone struggling with menopause.

            On the plus side, I can tell the doctor what I think my problem is and how I want it treated and they mostly just go ahead with whatever treatment plan I suggest. So no gatekeeping, and I get the care I want, I just need to research it myself.

         4. The issue with obgyns and menopause is that they have almost no training on it whatsoever in medical school. The curriculum doesn’t include it. They could choose to become menopause certified and take the continuing education, but clearly that doctor hasn’t.

7. I need recommendations for fun television shows and movies! They can be any genre.

   1. If you like British crime shows, we just watched Legends on Netflix and really enjoyed it. Maybe not “fun,” per se, but engaging and not as dark as a lot of them are.

      Also loved The Sheep Detectives on Amazon.

      1. Saw the sheep detectives with my husband and kids. It was so cute we all loved it!

         I’m loving “death by lighting” about President Garfield and the man who assassinated him. It’s great!

         1. Uh, ymmv but The Sheep Detectives made me cry almost as much as Up. I wouldn’t watch it for a ‘fun’ comedy.

            1. Really? My five year old was fine with it and she gets emotional when you throw out her unfinished sandwich.

            2. I just watched it the other night. Loved it! Teared up more than once (all having to do w Winter Lamb(s).)

   2. Off Campus

   3. We loved Ludwig, also really loved Slow Horses. Gary Oldman is clearly having the time of his life on that show. On the other hand, Down Cemetery Road had so many plot holes I could not wave away, even though Ruth Wilson and Emma Thompson are always good.

      We liked Julia on HBO Max and were sad it only got two seasons. I like the Cormoran Strike adaptations as well.

   4. -Deli Boys
      -Big Mistakes
      -How to get to Heaven from Belfast

      1. LOVED How to Get to Heaven from Belfast!

         1. Me too! and on that note, OP, watch Derry Girls first if you haven’t already How to Get to Heaven.. isnt a sequel but there are lot of Derry Girls references that make it funnier if you pick up on them.

   5. the Four Seasons (Netflix)

   6. Deadloch! Hilarious and so, so Australian.

      1. I’ve been having fun with The Newsreader, also Australian. Anna Torv and her costars basically chew the scenery while doing the TV news in 1980s Melbourne.

   7. We are in the middle of Widow’s Bay and it is funny (and also a little scary)!

      1. I thought it was REALLY scary, and also completely hilarious. Great combination!

   8. I’m super late to the party on Shrinking, but season 1 of that show was so great. Later seasons haven’t been quite as good imo.

   9. Have you watched A Man on the Inside? So fun and the second season gets more emotionally rich.

   10. Vicious? It’s a few years old, but I just rewatched it and it’s still funny.

8. I have a Chanel style cropped jacket I bought at Me + Em. I love it but haven’t worn it because the back poofs out and rides up, which I think is happening because of the weight from the metal buttons in front. When I button it, it lays much nicer. Is the solution to this to take to a tailor to have a chain sewn in the back hem? I’m a little surprised at this price point this wasn’t considered already.

   1. Before I took it to the tailor to have a chain sewn in, I’d get get some safety pins and experiment by pinning something “chain weight” into the back hemline, and see if that fixes it or if there’s still an issue.

      (The shape of your shoulders/back can also affect how the jacket is sitting.)

      1. Thanks! Not as elegant as your idea but I clipped some chip clips to the bottom of the hem and confirmed just a little bit of weight does the trick. I just wasn’t sure if there was an at home solution because going to the tailor is a trek.

         1. My grandmother was a professional seamstress and taught me to sew pennies, metal buttons, or washers into the hems of garments to solve this. Also helps keep billowy skirts from taking off in windy weather.

         2. The at-home solution is to sew the chain in yourself. Go to a craft or hardware store, buy a length of decent-looking chain (or some other small pieces of flat metal–look in the fasteners section for something suitable. Open up the bottom hem, sew the chain to the fabric inside it, and then sew the hem back closed. You can do this with a needle and thread, no sewing machine needed. If you’re not used to hand sewing, watch a YouTube video describing how to hem something, and you’re set.

9. Man, people are snippy today! I feel like the heat is getting to people.

   1. Or coming off a long weekend and dreading their in-box.

10. I live in Virginia where golf carts can legally be driven on neighborhood streets when the city allows it. I’ve talked to neighbors, insurance agents, and brokers, and it seems like there is no consensus on how to insure this. My options seem to be an off road policy, a motorcycle/golf cart standalone policy, or a miscellaneous vehicle endorsement on my existing auto policy. Has anyone been through something similar?

    1. No, but in NC and I feel like I see families of 8 going out to dinner on something with fewer than 8 seats and then going back buzzed like that fixes the DUI issues.

    2. I’d google how your state DOT classifies golf carts (technical term Low Speed Vehicle) and then insure to those standards.

       1. I know what the requirements for insurance are under the ordinance, but the insurance companies are very confused about the distinction between LSV and golf cart in my state. That is why I was hoping to find someone here who had been through it.

11. I need to be reminded that you cannot force adults to make better choices for themselves. My parents decided that, now that their mortgage has been paid off, they should stop paying for homeowner’s insurance. So, if something really bad happens to their house, they will be SOL. They have some savings and my DH and I can always bail them out if needed, but my mom is super stubborn and won’t listen to anyone. They also have a small hoarding problems so their house is full of random junk that will be a bigger issue if there’s a fire, but they don’t listen to me on that front either. I moved a couple of states away and only see them once or twice a year. I cannot do anything to change them without ruining our relationship. I don’t really have a question here, but if anyone has any advice, I’m all ears.

    1. What is their reason for doing this? That might change how I approached it.

    2. In situations like this, I often turn the question around: If I were super stubborn and my parents disagreed with choices I was making and thought my housekeeping was an issue, what could they say or do that would be effective in getting me to change? What would need to happen in order for me to hear what they were saying, take it in, and want to act on it, even if doing so went against my own habits or preferences?

    3. OMG the main point isn’t the house (to me, I live where land is more valuable than the structures), but the liability coverage (kid slips and falls or breaks a neck on your trampoline or diving into your pool). Did they drop that also? Do they have cars? I feel that State Farm won’t give you auto if you don’t also have homeowners insurance (and definitely won’t give you an umbrella policy without having both other policies through them). Maybe other places are different?

    4. Can you pay for a policy w you as the beneficiary? I don’t know the rules on this.

       1. That was going to be my suggestion — can you just pay for the insurance? Even if they are the beneficiaries, it would be way cheaper than you bailing them out if the worst happens.

       2. Was also going to suggest this.

    5. Being self insured can be a rational choice. That said, I wouldn’t go without liability coverage. I’d encourage them to price that out at least. But HO insurance in my area can be 35K+ a year and hard to come by, so this isn’t as crazy as it sounds on the property damage side of things.

       1. Also live in an area with high insurance rates and know plenty of people that self insure. When your premiums are close to 10k and you are looking at 5-10% of home value deductible, it’s not a completely insane choice. Maybe there is an opening to have a conversation about the numbers they’ve run and see if it is still a (completely) irrational decision.

          1. I think for me the tipping point would be something close to $30K in annual premiums on a home that would cost $1M to replace, assuming I had substantial savings that were accessible (already retired or massive savings outside of retirement accounts). I am basing this on the 3% rule–I’d be able to afford to lose $1M because I wouldn’t need it to cover the $30K annual premium.

       2. Trouble is, the rates are sky-high because so is the risk. I’m close to the Altadena fire area and have seen so many people who lost paid off, uninsured homes and have no way to rebuild and it’s just heartbreaking.

          1. But they can still sell for land value.

             1. At the same time lots of people around them are trying to do the same and driving the price down? And when the land will likely need remediation after being contaminated by metals and chemicals in the burned structures? People in Altadena aren’t likely to get anywhere close to what the land was worth before the fire – certainly not enough to re-build in a comparable area.

                Also nothing in OP’s post indicates her parents live somewhere land holds as much value as it might in say, southern California.

             2. Southern California is pretty unique in that the land holds a lot of value relative to the structure. In most of the country, the house is a very significant portion of the total value. My area is at the opposite end of the spectrum from SoCal but I think our land is worth about $100k and our house about ~$600k so the land is comparatively worthless without the house.

    6. I live in a place where our annual homeowners insurance premium is less than our monthly mortgage payment. We are two years away from paying off the mortgage. In our position, I cannot fathom dropping the insurance altogether.

       If I lived somewhere where the insurance was sky-high, and if I trusted myself to put that cost into savings so I really could afford to self-insure, I would consider dropping all but the liability coverage. But I would not personally drop the liability coverage.

    7. Is your husband really on board with you bailing them out if needed? It’s probably unlikely anyway, but I really like my in laws but would not plunder my savings or retirement for them.

       1. It depends on what the alternative is, obviously.

       2. +1 that I would not raid my own retirement to bail out my in-laws – or my own parents. First step seems to be discussing this with your husband and making sure you have the same ideas about the extent to which you’re bailing them out. If you’re both on board with fully bailing them out, it may make sense to purchase homeowners insurance for them.

12. Can someone find me an upscale version of this shirt: https://www.amazon.com/ANRABESS-Textured-Business-Blouses-Outfits/dp/B0DK8H3MRG/ref=sr_1_5?crid=OTL8G1YGZ8GC&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.NAsQqSCMs0__cCIiQiZeN7zKwaA-Iz0pGpYtsIhK7bj6Xx_zhWTu1hVbsY-JG30LxpUE2vUCK9R0XWE8BKse6k4adZtaxS9i93iuUvvurwAZOdxzot7DesTTpKOe2DQCTfHaEdq8dC9YCQGTAEFeTQhUQbkWf7yPvdaXVlsBTXw32RiqE1RGrYcQb-ZEn3aGTpVjmrDCbminSY1SWs0aKcgNC2k5WNdW2Atr5R_jp6bPz7CCgTHSKidjoX2koCVCqdpk18AVPJsvB42AYQt9xBhZwXuRW_M_YiYpDu-TD08.vbasRioqamWieW6YVB3EfYvnwB4SYlxR7xTR4xMl_PA&dib_tag=se&keywords=anrabess%2Bwomens%2Btop%2Bcap%2Bsleeve&qid=1783437281&sprefix=anrabess%2Bwomen%2Btop%2Bca%2Caps%2C140&sr=8-5&th=1&psc=1

    must be vneck or scoop (not crew), not too low, and have short sleeves or cap sleeves. I like that it is not too fitted (no tee shirt)

    1. Maybe this?

       https://www.xirena.com/products/white-kane-top

    2. Evereve Nora V Neck Muscle Tee?

       I’ll reply to myself with a link.

       1. https://evereve.com/products/nora-v-neck-muscle-tee-white?utm_source=ShopMy&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=Jo-Lynne+Shane&utm_content=EVEREVE+Favorites&utm_referrer=shopmy.us&smsclickid=0852c173-e9ed-4b7c-95c5-b9935557ace3&utm_term=0852c173-e9ed-4b7c-95c5-b9935557ace3

          I found it from JoLynne Shane. She has shown it multiple times in green. For example: https://jolynneshane.com/the-best-shorts-for-summer-2025.html

    3. Boden Supersoft V-neck T-shirt

    4. maybe look at Ruti?
       https://ruti.com/products/up-the-ante-v-neck-top-deep-teal

    5. I actually have that shirt in Navy. It’s nice enough for a weekend when I want to look a little more put together than a t-shirt, but it’s not nice enough for work (in my big law office in an East coast city).

13. OK, my fellow long-torso’ed people. I get that cropped is in right now, but I am looking for some basic office sweaters that are more of a classic fit and don’t make me look like I’m wearing clothes that are too small. Any ideas? The BRF Forever sweater is okay, but the fabric is really thin (at least in the ones I’ve owned previously). Same with the JCF Teddie — fits well, but looks a little unpolished. Would prefer to spend under $100 but willing to go higher if the quality is worth it.

    1. Have you tried regular Banana Republic (not Factory)? From my experience, the quality is much higher.

       For example:

       Larkspur Cotton-Silk Crew-neck

       Lightweight Cashmere Crew-Neck

       1. I do love the cotton-silk blend at BR. It still appears to be a little bit cropped, but I may have to order it and try.

    2. I am tall and can’t shop at outlet-style stores. They always seem to run a bit shorter. Try the regular versions of those stores (they often have tall sizes) or less cool stores, like Brooks Brothers.

       1. +1 that this is very real and not your imagination. Outlet stores are not just last season’s extras being sold at a discount. They are usually purpose-made for the outlet using cheaper materials, less of them, with design choices that minimize labor costs. So shorter garments, thinner fabric, fake pockets instead of real ones, no room to let seams out, less fitted styles without nice tailoring details, etc.

    3. I’m tall and have had good luck with the Uniqlo merino cardigan for a fit that hits just below the waistband of higher-waisted pants. The material is fairly thin but has held up well.

    4. I’ve had good luck with tops from Gap, you can order the tall version.

14. Can anyone talk to me about red light therapy? Do the at home options actually have any benefit, or do you need professional grade to have any effect? If at home works, do you have a preferred type (panel, band, etc). I have some arthritis in my hands as well as an older dog with joint issues. Our dog’s vet does have a professional one we could use for her, but wanted to see about in home options as well.

    1. it didn’t do anything for my arthritis but I know other people who swear by it. recommend buying used on FB marketplace so you can see if it actually helps before spending $$$

15. Do student types have any XL twin mattress covers that they really like? There are too many choices.

    1. This is a job for Target’s Threshold line. It only needs to last two semesters.

       1. Or eight if you go to a residential college where you live in the dorm all four years.

       2. Agree Target is probably fine, but college is eight semesters?

          1. an XL twin is a very dorm-specific size. I don’t know anyone who had that size bed once they moved out of campus housing. Everyone I knew moved into their own apartment or house with friends, or a sorority or frat house, after freshman year.

             1. Corporette logic right back at you: Everyone *I* know lived in the dorm for the whole four years.

             2. Counterpoint: my friends and I lived on campus as long as possible b/c it was much cheaper, more convenient, and came with meals. My state U was rural enough that there was no off campus housing without a driving commute. We finally landed a stop on a bus route the year I graduated.

             3. yeah pretty everyone I know lived in the dorms all 4 years. A lot of the selective private schools have enough dorm housing for most students and Greek life is usually not as big and/or not as residential (I was in a sorority but we didn’t have a house). Moving out of the dorms after freshman year feels like a Midwest/Southern Big State U thing to me.

    2. For a college dorm? The cheapest one.

    3. Do we have any student types here anymore or is it all their moms? I feel like this board has skewed older over the years, and especially recently. I started reading as a law student many, many years ago but I am now 40!!!

       1. I am thinking it’s a lot of law students or recent grads; definitely a lot of first daughter types so maybe they know what the younger siblings do.

          1. Given the absence s of many first job type questions, I don’t think there are many law students readers

       2. I think most of the people posting about college are moms of kids that age. I’m the same age as you and also started reading as a 1L.

    4. Just pick one up at your default big box supermarket store during back to school season. As long as it isn’t noisy, crinkly plastic, it is not worth sorting through all the choices online. If the student needs more comfort than the dorm room mattress provides, get a standalone topper.

16. Shopping help? I want a simple, cotton a-line style shirt dress in black that I can wear to my legal job. Theory and MMLaFleur have options I like, but they’re over $400 and I’d prefer to keep it under $200. I don’t want ruffly tiers or a smocked waist; I want simple workhorse. Why is this so hard to find?

    1. Just buy the theory dress. I bought it three years ago, zero regrets and heavy summer rotation.

       1. +1 – quality workhorse dresses are 400+ these days.

       2. Looks like it’s on final sale for $255 right now if you’re confident in their sizing.

    2. I’d check TuckerNuck too, but this looks promising:
       https://spanx.com/products/spanx-poplin-smocked-midi-shirt-dress?v=48685145096403&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=%7Bcampaignname%7D&utm_campaignid=23901704793&utm_content=%7Badgroupname%7D-811616779575&utm_term=&network=g&device=c&matchtype=&adposition=&placement=&target=&loc_physical_ms=9207015&loc_interest_ms=&gclid=CjwKCAjwx7LSBhB3EiwAjcodxGQ1zOkt7oE_GgGpo10olnAsjHfWj7HXNtPMdyZzm2OlUUx05aQaxhoCY34QAvD_BwE&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=23901704793&gbraid=0AAAAADB0feGdIxa81_tq8wEiNThIAIPHX&bau-context=sale&Color=Classic+Black

    3. Theory does a lot of sales but they’re often final sale on their site which is annoying if you don’t know sizing. When I’m stalking something Theory I usually can find it at the big department stores and then periodically check in until it goes on sale. I got a great Theory shirt dress two years ago late in the summer for about 40% off. If you don’t have time for that just buy it! There’s a coupon with their app for maybe 10% off?

    4. The Theory black cotton shirt dress is on sale for $255. https://www.theory.com/women/dresses/belted-shirt-dress-in-good-poplin/Q0204625_001.html

       Another option is the Ralph Lauren shirt dresses – Nordstrom has a couple of options.

    5. Banana Republic Factory has so many of these. I find them to be incredibly well made and flattering, and I appreciate that they’re 100% cotton. I own about five in different colors and prints (from previous seasons) and always get compliments.
       For example:
       https://bananarepublicfactory.gapfactory.com/browse/product.do?pid=858025091&vid=1&pcid=1045225&cid=1045225#pdp-page-content

       1. I should have also recommended looking at Boden and Quince. I have a lot of dresses from them, including classic shirt dresses. The quality of the latter can be very hit-or-miss though. Boden is always wonderful though.

          signed, a fellow shirt dress fan

    6. https://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=886543002&vid=1&pcid=15292&cid=15292&nav=meganav%3AWomen%3AShop+Women%27s+Categories%3ADresses+%26+Jumpsuits#pdp-page-content

    7. I have the Universal Standard shirt dress (city poplin, I think), and I like it a lot. Talbots has a black shirt dress this year, too.

    8. Old Navy has one. I’ve been wearing it weekly since the weather warmed up.

    9. Ralph Lauren?

       https://www.nordstrom.com/s/lauren-ralph-lauren-belted-cotton-blend-shirtdress/7835979?origin=category-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FWomen%2FClothing%2FDresses&color=444444L7M2

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