Weekend Open Thread
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Something on your mind? Chat about it here.
We're gearing up for a vacation, which means I'm on the hunt for the perfect sundress… and this one from Marine Layer is definitely in the running.
I love that it has pockets, a slightly higher waist but not quite empire, and the dark, flattering gray/blue color. The tone-on-tone perforations in rosette patterns elevate it, I think — I've seen a lot where those would be peek-a-boo details. (I do wish that it came in petite sizes, though.)
The dress is $218 at Nordstrom and Marine Layer; it also comes in a skirt version and a bubbled crop top.
Readers, this dress is everywhere this season — which are your favorite iterations?
Sales of note for 6/27/25:
- Nordstrom – Almost 1500 new markdowns for women — and the Anniversary Sale preview has started!
- Ann Taylor – Semi-Annual Sale! Extra 50% off sale, and $50 off every $100 you spend, including new arrivals.
- Athleta – Semi-Annual Sale starts now, up to 70% off
- Banana Republic Factory – July Fourth Event, 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off everything
- Boden – Sale up to 50% off
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off all sale.
- J.Crew – End of season sale, extra 60% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – All-Star Sale, 40-70% off entire site and storewide and extra 50% off clearance
- M.M.LaFleur – Sitewide Sale, save 25% with code — this week only! Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
- Rothy's – Up to 50% off seasonal faves, plus new penny loafers and slingbacks
- Spanx – End-of-season sale
- Talbots – 50% off all T by Talbots, 40% off rest of your purchase
I have a gift card to Athleta and it looks like there’s a sale on right now. Any recommendations for semi fitted tank tops and workout shorts that aren’t too short?
Non-cropped shirts, I should say.
The Momentum tanks are my favorite: https://athleta.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=563904122
These are cute but looked pretty fitted in the styling. Are they looser IRL?
I have them and like them fitted , but you could def size up
Love the Wayfind 5 inch shorts. Good for streetwear too.
Anyone have the Theraface LED mask? Saw Quince is selling it with a $150 store credit and am considering. Had a Solawave wand previously but didn’t use it much, but want to start getting more serious about skincare regiment (I’m 42.)
Is anyone familiar with the brand Toast? Their dresses are following me on socials…
IIRC it’s a UK brand with high quality, organic cotton textiles, some sort of surfer brand?
I’m in a commissioned sales job and do OK but have limited growth and want to network to HR-related fields with more longevity / upside potential. One idea I had was to take classes in things like management and HR, but only one at a time and more for networking (so I wouldn’t need to be a degree-seeking student; I could start with a professional Ed class). There is a State U in my city and a lot of working professionals seem to get various sorts of masters degrees there. Would that make sense for just network building if I can get an in-person class? My college is a bit too large and alumni events are where people my age go to get hammered during a football game (vs what a person more senior would go to). Or should I cold email people from Linked in? I am also trying to explore what is really out there (and meet people). I could probably get in in time for things starting in August if I just want to be a non-degree student for now or take an adult Ed class.
What stage of your career are you? What types of hr interest you? Recruiting would be a natural move from sales. I’m not sure schooling is going to be as useful as having conversations with people
I’m pretty junior. I was thinking of just one class. To get into a room with a professor in an HR field, likely an adjunct, and a room full of people currently working in that area to get to know and talk to. My brother’s GF suggested trying to go to a conference but a class would be with people in my city who maybe would be better to network with to find out what they do and maybe hear about good opportunities. It’s less than $1000 for the class, which I could afford. And maybe I’d learn something even if I didn’t make any good connections.
Aren’t your classmates also going to be beginners seeking entry/work in the field? Is one adjunct professor going to know of many opportunities and would you be the shining star (with one course worth of experience) that she would direct them to?
SCHR certification or a HR Management Certificate course via a legit school. Especially if you want to end up in public HR. FYI, a lot of private sector HR is changing with AI
Consider starting by joining your local SHRM chapter and going to some meetings. Most local chapters have mentoring programs, committees, conferences, etc. that are all ways to get involved in the local HR “scene”. I think this would be cheaper and maybe more fun?
This sounds like a good idea. Will check them out.
Old Navy has an almost identical dress for $30 that I have in three different prints and they’ve been a workhouse both this summer so far and all last summer.
My 15 year old kid is away at a summer program that takes place at a place that’s about 45 minutes away from my parents’ home. My parents saw him for a meal on the first day and will see him on the last day (it’s a 3 week program). The whole point of this experience (for my husband and me) is to allow my kid to get confidence living away from home, doing his own laundry, making new friends, and living in a college dorm for the first time. So, we really don’t care if he sees my parents at all. Plus, my husband, son and I are taking a trip with my parents (I am paying for the airfare and hotel and activities for my parents) in July, so we’ll see them basically a week after the program is finished. My parents keep telling me they want to take him out of the program because my parents are bored. They’ve asked me at least 3 times already – they want him to go and stay overnight at their house on weekends, and I said no. They want to take him out to go watch a movie on July 4th and I said no. Now they’re asking if he can leave and have dinner with them and my aunt and uncle and now I’m feeling bad. Should I tell my son to just suck it up and go with them?
One of the reasons why I have put my foot down here is that when my older kid went to the same program a few years ago, my parents asked if they could take her out to lunch and I said yes to that, but when they did that, they literally drove her back to their home, gave her an extra swimsuit and insisted that she go with them to their health club to go swimming with them, and then had her go to dinner with them and then dropped her off back at the dorm, and they did not tell me (or her) that that was what they were planning to do. I basically don’t trust my parents – they’re just strong-willed and do whatever works best for them and that’s always how it’s been with them (and it should not be a surprise that I moved away from there after they made my wedding all about them and what they want).
I’m with you. “He loves you guys but it’s important for him to get this experience living away from family! Looking forward to seeing you on the (X date).”
Let your son choose what he wants to do.
Yup, he’s at a good age to make this choice. Have a candid conversation with him that you want it to be totally his choice and you’ll support whatever he wants to do. Let him know you’re happy to be the bad guy if he wants to decline their invite as an out if he needs it, but leave it up to him!
Of course you don’t give in. They’re trying to wear you down on something you said no to. You said you don’t trust them. Only you get to make the decisions on behalf of your son.
Absolutely don’t let your parents ruin your kid’s summer program experience. You need to put your foot down here. I was going to say that they could have dinner with him one night, but after hearing about them basically abducting your daughter, I would not make your son have dinner with them.
Your parents’ behavior here is bizarre. How often do they see your kids? How do your kids feel about them? Could your son meet with them after the program ends and before coming back home?
Anyone who doesn’t respect a clear no doesn’t get one on one time with my kid.
This is bizarre – it’s not your kid’s problem that his grandparents don’t have anything else to do.
The fact that they’re so insistent on having time with him without you present is raising red flags.
Agreed.
I mean, this is a know your parents thing, but for me, I can totally imagine mine doing this and it would totally be because they absolutely adore my kids and are normally 8 hours away. Being so close would be a huge temptation and they would want to drop in and see them. It’s not nefarious.
Agreed. And weird to automatically jump to it being nefarious
Asking once, of course. Being weird and insistent, not so much.
My grandparents loved us so much and I could totally see them doing this when they were alive.
Put them on the list of people not authorized to pick up your kid.
This. Not ok that they took your daughter out without your knowledge or permission.
Nope nope nope. I went to these programs as a kid and no one’s relatives picked them up for a visit. On the weekends, you want to be hanging out with your new friends, going on outings, etc. Call the program and tell them the grandparents don’t have permission to sign him out.
Tell them the answer is not and to stop asking
Does your son have any interest in leaving camp to see them? If so, I would let him go have dinner with them, but not spend the night. If he does not want to leave camp, I would just flat out tell them no.
So they took for her a few hours more than originally planned? If he wants to spend time with them, its fine. I would see what he wants to do. He is getting plenty of independant time away from you and your husband with his friends.
As someone who has attended these programs, it does not sound fine. It sounds like the daughter didn’t have much choice in spending the extra time at the pool. These programs are also very tightly scheduled, so she probably missed out on instructional activities. If it’s an academic program that covers a college semester in three weeks, missing an afternoon of class and/or lab will put you far behind, and there’s no free time to catch up.
I attended these too, and wouldn’t assume this. Most teen-college programs are a couple of weeks of “get a taste for this” kind of thing, not trying to fit a full semester of credit into 3 weeks. But the downtime is for goofing around with your peers, not for spending the free day at Grandma’s. Like this was in the late 90s and early 00s for me and we went to see Austin Powers at the movies, hung out at coffee shops pretending we were totally as grown up as Friends, went swimming at the local lake (though i agree, muddy lakes give me the ick!), and hung out in each other’s dorm rooms just chilling.
On a scale of 1-10 how much are you panicking about today’s SCOTUS decision on nationwide injunctions?
It’s just all so freaking sad.
If overturning Roe was a 15, this is a 9.
0. I’m sorry it’s wildly unclear to me how me panicking will do anything
i really can’t believe how far SCOTUS has fallen. if the idea is to say, well they need legislation, scotus should bear responsibility for the fact that there will NOT be legislation with this admin or any time soon.
My fellow IEP moms are freaking out.
2. This is exactly what the Democrats wanted in the Biden administration when the Republicans kept using them to thwart their policies. I hate what the Trump administration is doing with them, but this goes both ways.
+1 This is where I land at. It’s a change in the judicial process that Democrats were arguing in favor of a few years ago. The people arguing in the NYTimes comments that this is the end of democracy and armed resistance is inevitable are more concerning to me than the ruling.
So then why didn’t SCOTUS block nationwide injunctions during the Biden administration?
Yes, that is the question.
Can you point me to some reading on this being what Dems wanted? My understanding is that any civil rights or disability rights issue now needs to be a class action if they want broader enforcement, and even then only if you’re a member of the class. That doesn’t seem like something the dems would want so maybe I’m misunderstanding it?
Obviously they don’t want it now. But they frequently spoke out against nationwide injunctions during the Biden administration, including on vaccine mandates, access to abortion pills, and pausing oil leases.
https://www.nytimes.com/2025/03/12/us/trump-judges.html
No, that is not want Democrats wanted.
https://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2022/8/10/23296841/supreme-court-biden-judiciary-republicans-texas-judge-shopping-immigration-obamacare
…there are better sources than Vox of course, but this isn’t a bad article to start with
Zero. I understand their logic and do not find it to be an unreasonable interpretation of the law.
+1
How do you decide who to help when you come across someone in need, whether thats on the street or in another setting?
I feel strongly that we all have an obligation to help fellow people out as much as we can, but I also know I’m one person and I can’t even help every individual I pass on my walk to work, let alone everyone who needs it.
I donate financially on a monthly basis to several organizations, I volunteer my time, and I work in a helping profession (disaster relief and response), but thats barely making a dent. My volunteer work and donations both focus on both the macro (working towards policy solutions, advocacy, grants work) and the micro (food pantries feeding people in my city; specific go fund me campaigns; carrying around small bills and granola bars to pass out).
Through my personal values, career and volunteer experience, I know I’ll never be able to do enough (hence my policy work).
I was just approached by a man on the street who asked for assistance, I tried to do the granola bar and $5 and move on but he needed different/more help and next thing I knew 30 minutes, $30, and a referral to a non profit I know later I’m left with this question (and/or I was scammed).
I’m mostly agnostic now, but I got a lot out of my childhood in the Episcopal Church, and I can’t help but thinking “whatever you do for the least of my brothers and sisters you do for me”. But, I can’t say yes to everyone and I feel terrible when I can’t help. But my government salary only goes so far…
Maybe each week you could get a few $5 gift cards and when you’re out you’re out?
Don’t give more than you can afford, and make peace with the fact that not everyone will use the money in ways you would. And practice saying No confidently when you reach the limits of what you can do.
Oh I certainly don’t give more than I can afford (not even close to that issue) and yeah, the guy I gave money to today to help pay for his prescription + lunch could totally have turned around and used it for drugs (though my spidey senses tell me he was legit).
I live in SF. There are parts of our city that are very hard to see/experience. I never ever, never provide cash to any stranger in a street setting. They could rob you, steal your wallet, scam you. I am always informed about where I can help direct people but I am not going to put myself in danger no matter the sales pitch. In SF, the pitch is for cash, and the cash is going immediately to drugs.
When I was in high school, not SF, one of my brothers’ friends was at a stop light and a busker asked for a dollar. He got his wallet out and the busker jumped into his car and strangled him, and stole his wallet. This was a burly water polo player who was defenseless when trying to do a good deed. You don’t know these strangers.
I donate to well-intentioned organizations, but I prioritize my safely.
Not sorry.
I feel you. I am very, very careful about who I give a few bucks to and how. My neighborhood has “known entities” so I pretty much only give to them and only when police are around, in the daylight, and only when I have the cash in my pocket (no opening a bag or wallet).
I used to never give cash and just refer to the services I worked with, but my bleeding heart has recently gotten the best of me.
I got into an argument about this with DH. I think it’s a huge safety risk to roll down your window for a stranger, especially at a stoplight when you have no space to maneuver. As a woman you have to learn that protecting yourself is more important than possibly helping a stranger. I don’t care how harmless the stranger looks, I’m not letting anyone in my personal space. As a man he couldn’t wrap his head around this.
My husband is the same way.
Neither can I. Your response is one of fear not reason.
Fear exists for a reason.
You can’t solve all the world’s problems. What you can do is to use your talents and resources to serve others in the most effective and efficient way.
I am religious (mainline Christianity, not evangelical “Christianity”). Yes, “whatever you do for the least of my brothers and sisters you do for me” is one of the central tenets of my faith. But exactly how we are meant to live out this mandate depends on the unique gifts we have been given. [For all the church ladies out there, I am going to ignore the supposed distinction between “spiritual gifts” and “talents,” and just use the word “gifts” as it is ordinarily used.] Some of my gifts are music, systems thinking, public speaking, and academics. I am also highly skilled in my specialized public interest job. I use these gifts and skills to serve by participating in my church’s choirs and another volunteer choir, by performing solos in church when asked, by serving as a lay reader in church, by leading the church’s strategic planning project, and most importantly in my career, which helps to shape public policies that directly affect poor people accused of crimes. I don’t have the financial, emotional, or logistical capacity to help every person in need who crosses my path. It’s also my job to serve my family as a good parent and partner, which includes using my limited financial resources wisely to ensure that my child receives a high-quality education and a solid start in life. If I were to spread myself and my finances any thinner, I wouldn’t be effective in any domain and my service would have less overall impact.
Your career is commendable and I totally agree that you need to focus your time and money on your family.
That being said, is singing in a church choir at all comparable to feeding the hungry or your very worthy career? I always assumed those who sung in church choirs did it as a hobby, not as a mitzvah
Trust me, it’s not fun for a trained musician. It is an act of service that contributes to the worship service and provides leadership to the rest of the choir. Fun fact: most church choirs have one or two paid professional singers in each section to keep the whole thing from going off the rails. In our church choir, there’s one of us in each section who has at one point been a professional or semi-professional musician who fills this role on a volunteer basis. If I weren’t committed to this volunteer service I’d be out there auditioning for paid church gigs.
And same on the solos–the four of us former pros cover the solos, so soloist fees don’t have to come out of the budget. Although that’s more fun than singing with the choir.
I guess my issue more lies with the church then. Shouldn’t they spend the time and money and effort on the choir for helping those who need it?
I usually go to the 8am service at my church without the choir and it’s lovely as is. When I go to the 10am with choir, I don’t think it’s necessarily worth all that goes into it.
I’ve also attended churches that only had community choirs and thought that was fine too
As a member of an Episcopal church, having paid musicians doesn’t bother me at all. Sure, we could use that money for the food bank or (more) feeding of homeless people. But could also sell our exceptionally valuable building and grounds, give that money to worthy causes, and rent a few floors in an office building. We could have one pastor instead of two and donate the difference to a mission in the developing world. But the congregation and the leadership is content/happy with the organization as it is. Also I think there is value in giving people meaningful work at a fair wage.
FWIW, I was raised in another Protestant denomination and the pastor’s wife basically had a second, unpaid full-time job running all of the music programs for the church. She taught piano and worked at a flower shop taking orders so make extra money. In retrospect, it seems so exploitative, especially since it was a relatively well-off church that could (and did) pay other (male) musicians and (mostly male) church workers.
If there’s anything I’ve learned from volunteering in church and non-church settings, women feel way more obligated to volunteer (even if they have paying jobs) while men generally don’t feel any guilt about saying no.
4:32, yes the church should invest in music, but it doesn’t so we volunteer.
Even if music doesn’t enhance your spiritual experience, for many people music is their main spiritual connection. You need good music, a good sermon, and all the other ingredients in order to be able to reach everyone. That’s also why churches offer both contemporary and traditional worship services.
Sometimes I have an extra 20 and sometimes I don’t. When I do, I give. When I don’t, I don’t sweat it. We’re all instruments of God’s will and it isn’t our turn every time.
I struggle a bit – clearly many (most?) people aren’t following God’s will, so do I need to “‘make up” for the ones who don’t?
No. You do the work that has been set before you.
And how do I know what has been put before me and what hasn’t?
Try praying for guidance? And listen to your inner voice. It’s clearly telling you that you’re trying to do too much. If you have a gut feeling that you shouldn’t engage with a panhandler, then don’t.
Some of us will always do more than others. It’s the way of things. And others will cluck that we’re “being taken advantage of” while they continue to do absolutely nothing.
Ever since I was a child, I’ve been stuck on “if you have two coats give one away”.
I don’t know how to walk the line. Everyone here has such excess which is not needed snd would be so much better used for the less fortunate, but also I was given free will and a personality and interests by God and sometimes I want something nice? But then again, to truly love like Jesus we should give all extra to those who need it (I typed live and it autocorrected to love and I decided that was way more accurate).
I’m a mainline Protestant and have my share of issues with the Catholic Church but I do admire the vow of poverty that priests, brothers, and sisters take (though I also strongly believe that priests should marry and have children and those are at odds with each other).
For your first sentence, get therapy
Eff off.
I’m like you, and try to carry small bills in an easily accessible place so I don’t need to pull out my wallet in order to give them out. But I don’t always have the time to stop, and I don’t always have the small bills at the ready, so I often say, “I’m sorry” and keep moving. I do my best to respect the dignity of the people asking for help by acknowledging the request with an answer and by meeting their eyes. And I remind myself that I am one person and cannot help everyone, as I hope that someone else will step up for the person I could not help. It’s all imperfect, but at least it’s something.
I like that hoping that someone else will step up!
Yes, the gentleman I helped today was so pleasantly surprised that I smiled when talking to him and that broke my heart
I carry a $20 bill in an easily accessible pocket. I will give it to someone that looks like they need help, usually when they’ve not directly asked me. So, I gave it to a solo young woman who had clearly slept in her car, and just said I wanted to buy her breakfast. Daylight, early morning, with my husband, other people around. However, there is always someone panhandling in front of a local shopping center. I frequently see the van that drops them off. I don’t give them money.
As long as the situation looks safe for me (again, the $20 is easily accessible), I’ll give. I don’t care what they use the money for, or moral judgement on why. The person in need is someone’s child, and that’s enough.
I live in SF and last night someone posted on the Free Stuff group asking for recommendations for a homeless shelter that accepts pets, saying that the family had been staying in a motel for several weeks but are now at the point where they can’t afford the $80 a night and they don’t want to have to surrender their animal. My heart breaks. What do you do? I theory I could have DM’d this poster to say I can pay for your hotel for a week while you figure out where you can go with your pet. Like, I could have paid the hotel directly. Other people replied with shelter recommendations and I ended up not doing anything. But I’m still thinking about it this morning, and then I read this comment here. Should I have gone with my instinct? I donate regularly to organized charities, mainly food banks and animal rescue, but this was a direct ask from a person in need whom I could have helped, and now I’m questioning things. I suppose there’s always a risk that a post like that one is a scam. Thanks to OP for raising this subject.
Well, if you can’t afford housing a pet, you can’t afford medical care for the pet, and you should be rehoming the pet. And that would solve their problem. I’m very pro pet, but they are luxury goods.
You’re a bad person. Community isn’t a luxury.
Georgetown Law (which is in downtown DC, not on the leafy main campus near the Potomac) is/was situated right beside DC’s homeless shelter. There were armed campus guards to walk with you if needed, and the shelter and its goings on were in the Post constantly. I asked one of the chaplains how I should kindly handle it, with the same religious teachings in mind. He said there are resources available to them and you don’t need to be that first-line responder helping them; a donation to organizations designed to help will go further than you giving cash to an individual. He said treat them like a person, give them eye contact, wish them a nice day, and politely go on. So that’s what I do. “I’m so sorry I don’t have anything, but I wish you the best.” And make that monthly donation to the charity.
High school moms (and recent high school moms) – I’ve got a rising 9th grader. What do I need to read or watch (or is there like an online class I can take?) that will get me up to speed on college stuff. E.g., camps, internships, volunteering, high GPA vs more challenging classes, whether visits as a freshman count as much as visits as a junior, etc. Feels like there’s a lot to learn and it’s all piecemeal out there.
I’d recommend setting up a meeting with the college guidance office at your kids’ school.
They’ll probably do an all-parents meeting at some point, but probably not til mid sophomore year
Sorry, should have added that I’m in a well resourced school where like 99% of students go to a 4 year college.
If your school is different or doesn’t have a college guidance department, start with your students’ advisor, counselor, or the grade’s head teacher and look into private college counseling
My concern is that a) they’re only familiar with local schools and b) the school’s interests may conflict with my kid’s. For example they tried to push everyone out of honors who had a B in 8th grade, I’m assuming because the school gets more bragging rights if more kids have all As. I know something like a third of the graduating class (100+ kids) had a 4.0 gpa or higher.
If they’re good and they’re college counselors (as opposed to guidance counselors), this isnt a concern.
Good college counselors personally know staff at all sorts of colleges, know the admissions “game” at all sorts of colleges, and will meet several times with each student to really try to find the best fit.
For my kids’ school, having semi regular meetings with their college counselor is mandatory.
What I would say is that at many (most?) public schools, The Powers That Be want kids to go to a college or have a post-high school career plan (e.g., joining the military). But they don’t really have any preference as to which college – Yale and Big Local State U check the same box for their purposes.
Oh that’s so interesting to me. Parents and school administrators really don’t care about Yale vs. state U?
I find that hard to believe
This was true at our high school. They advised every single kid to apply to the same two bottom-of-the-barrel state universities. My daughter was third in her class with a 1500 on the SAT and an IB diploma, and her guidance counselor reacted with scorn when she found out my daughter was applying to Flagship State U (where she was accepted into the honors program) and several out-of-state SLACs (one of which she ended up attending on a massive merit scholarship). The woman literally tried to talk her out of applying to the schools that were the best fit for her. The attitude was very much “Last Chance State U was good enough for the entire high school faculty so it should be good enough for you, and you’re pretentious if you think you deserve anything better.”
IME, public school administrators don’t care about prestige. They aren’t going to dump on a kid who gets into Brown or whatever but it’s just as good to go to Local Unselective U for their statistics. None of the principals at my kids’ public high school even attended a state flagship, so they don’t really care about places like SLACs or Ivies.
Unless your kid goes to a very fancy high school with good college counseling, get a private college counselor. These are not necessarily expensive Varsity Blues-type situations; in my area the going rate is around $600 for a consultation on where to apply and support with completing applications and essays.
The standard advice is to take the hardest courses available (unless your kid will do poorly in them) and to prioritize deep involvement and leadership in extracurriculars.
If your kid wants to go to Caltech or similar, start looking for a lab internship that will get them coauthorship on a peer-reviewed paper or figure out how they can win a national science fair with a novel discovery. For normal colleges a high GPA and high class rank and lots of AP courses plus one or two solid extracurriculars (all-state music ensembles, student director of the school play, president of a student organization that actually does something, etc.) will be enough.
Have them study for the SAT the summer after sophomore year so they are prepared to do well on the PSAT-NMSQT in the fall of junior year. Even if they are applying to test-optional schools, being a National Merit semifinalist is advantageous, and if they can score very high on the SAT it’s worth submitting those scores. The pendulum may also be swinging back towards requiring test scores.
If they go to a public high school that’s not an elite magnet program, get them to take some college courses over the summer so they learn to think critically and to write. Public school doesn’t teach these skills anymore, and even kids with 4.5 GPS show up to college woefully unprepared.
Read the book The Price You Pay for College.
GPAs. Stupid autocorrect.
Thank you, this is helpful!
We chose private school (a NE college prep private school not a southern “ww want segregation” private school) to ensure our kids would be taught critical thinking and writing.
I’m VERY happy with our choice.
Definitely agree on the college counselor and the swing back towards test scores.
As a college professor, I am begging you not to send your high school kid to a college course, ESPECIALLY not to think critically and write. Professors are not equipped (or interested) in teaching high schoolers, and it ends up being a bad experience for everyone. Plus it doesn’t fix the holes in the high school curriculum. Hire a tutor. Take them to museums. Have them read, read, read, read — that will help them learn to write. Have them get a job filing, taking notes at a firm, etc. Please do NOT have them take college courses. It’s a terrible idea.
Why aren’t we demanding that high schools do their job and teach these things?
All my sympathy to teachers (I am one!) but I don’t get how it’d been okay to teach this way.
If you’re a teacher, then you know that parents’ demands are not going to change the curriculum. Our public educational system is rigged to produce assembly-line workers to benefit the capitalist overlords, not independent thinkers who will threaten their power.
Because demanding that would mean having to admit that lots of kids get through public K-8 without basic reading and writing skills.
High school is the last chance to remediate so they focus on hitting really basic reading and writing standards instead of preparing kids to write in college. Also, it’s fashionable for educators to claim that there should be a single level of instruction for English classes, otherwise it’s inequitable and the tyranny of the elite. I wish I was kidding.
When I was in high school 30 years ago we all took college courses over the summer and got As.
College summer school is not the same as regular college. The content may be the same, but the audience is much different. Those courses are just revenue-generators for the schools and are not aimed at full-time students. Plenty of high school kids take those courses–that’s who they are for!
Community colleges are now offering their courses to high school students, and they’re taking them thinking that it’ll look good on applications. Also, in the last five or so years, I’ve been gotten many calls for high schoolers to take my courses — regular, during the school year, not summer camp for high schooler courses — and I never, ever got calls like that in the 20 years I’ve been teaching. It’s becoming a thing, in the same way that taking AP courses freshman year is becoming a thing. And it’s a very, very bad idea.
what is the difference between brain fog and general laziness or procrastination? it seems like every small decision is something to avoid and hide from lately.
There’s not nearly enough info in your post to give any kind of decent feedback. You’ve mentioned brain fog, laziness, and procrastination. But hiding from small decisions could also be any number of other things. For example, burnout, depression, weariness, emotional overload, boredom — even simple longing for a summer off.
IME brain fog is more centered around forgetfulness, like forgetting the words for objects or people or being unable to remember what happened in a meeting last week. Being overwhelmed by decisions is something different entirely.
My age-old solution is to start making really detailed lists and cross off every little thing you get done to get that dopamine boost. Even if you are just tackling the smallest and easiest items, shrinking the list really helps.
Brain fog in say menopause is more like not coming up with a word you would have easily remembered previously. It feels more like struggling to process information. Procrastination is putting something off you don’t want to do until you have to do it.
I was thinking about that glow up thread and for me, the most attractive thing is when someone looks full of vitality. It doesn’t have much to do with makeup or body size or even youth overall, but do they look fresh, energetic, strong, clean, engaged, not exhausted? I know when I’ve felt my least attractive, it’s when I look and feel exhausted or when I’m tuned out doomscrolling.
I agree, but it’s interesting to think about what goes into that. Personally a great haircut + under eye cream + being very particular about my clothes makes me feel this way. I got rid of clothes that slightly didn’t fit or that I just never loved wearing, and started putting a little more effort into dressing how I’ve wanted to. And I have to say I’ve been getting more compliments or nice comments about outfits so it must be working.
Interesting. I can easily think of people who I think look good or attractive who don’t meet this description (not quite consumptive chic, but definitely not full of vitality either).
What’s your favorite matte lipstick? NYX blood love has been my go to for years but I’d like to see what’s out there.
From far away the print on this dress looks like marijuana leaves.
I like the J Crew version of this dress, fun prints and half the cost.