ByElizabeth Hours Updated
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Splurge Monday’s Workwear Report: Maxi Sweater Dress with Snood

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A woman wearing a brown and light brown stripe maxi dress

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

I’m a huge fan of turtlenecks in the winter for an extra touch of coziness, but I know they’re a sensory nightmare for some people. This striped sweater dress from Me + Em solves that problem beautifully with a removable snood. Button it on for a chilly day or remove it when you’re not feeling up for it. 

The dress is $545 at Me + Em and comes in sizes XXS-XL.

Sales of note for 4/17:

  • Nordstrom – Beauty savings event, up to 25% off – nice price on Black Honey
  • Ann Taylor – Cyber Spring! 50% off everything + free shipping
  • Boden – 25% off everything (thru Sun, then 15% off)
  • Brooklinen – 25% off sitewide — we have and love these sateen sheets
  • Evereve – 1000+ items on sale, including lots from Alex Mill, Michael Stars, Sanctuary, Rails, Xirena, and Z-Supply
  • Express – $29 dresses
  • J.Crew – 30% off all dresses
  • J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything, and extra 50% off clearance
  • Lands' End – 50% off full price styles and 60% off all clearance and sale – lots of ponte dresses come down under $25, and this packable raincoat in gingham is too cute
  • Loft – Friends & Family event, 50% off entire purchase + free shipping
  • Macy's – 25% off already reduced prices + 15% off beauty & fragrance
  • M.M.LaFleur – Spring Sale Event – Buy More, save more! 10% off $250+, 15% off $500+, 20% off $750+, 25% off $1000+ (Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off if you find any exclusions.)
  • Sephora – Spring sale! 20%, 15%, or 10% off depending on your membership tier; ends 4/20. Here's everything I recommend in the sale!
  • Talbots – Spring sale! 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns
  • TOCCIN – Use code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off!
  • Vivrelle – Looking to own less stuff but still try trends? Use code CORPORETTE for a free month, and borrow high-end designer clothes and bags!

211 Comments

  1. Are there some house slippers that look somewhat elegant? I am helping my mom host Thanksgiving and I want to cover up my feet somehow while I am running around the kitchen to get things ready. I am wearing a dress so socks would look weird, and the bootie, slide and moccasin-style slippers won’t look quite right either. Years ago I had some slippers in a ballet-flat style that were grey and had some silver threading so they had just a hint of sparkle – they looked nice enough to wear them outside, but the sole and interior were soft and they were definitely made for indoor use only. I can’t seem to find anything like that now. The ballet flat slippers from Isotoner make it look like you have club feet, and they seem to be thin enough that you can see the outline of your toes.

      1. +1. When you’re cooking and hosting a large meal like this proper shoes are a safety issue. Your mom will need to mop afterward regardless.

        1. Yeah, I am team socks but then will shatter something and have to be rescued from the countertop. I really should wear shoes, and if I was cooking all day on my tile floor, I definitely want more support.

      2. Or at least real slippers. I hate wearing shoes in the house, but I always cook in substantial slippers that will protect my feet if I drop anything hot or heavy or break something. You can change into something nicer looking later if you don’t like how they look with your dress.

    2. Since you’re open to buying a new pair, I’d suggest buying a pair of ballet flats that you really like the look and comfort of, and then reserving those for indoor shoes.

    4. DSW has inexpensive smoking flats, which look like slippers https://www.dsw.com/product/journee-collection-silas-loafer/521506?activeColor=001&cm_mmc=CSE-_-GPS-_-G_Shopping_PLA_PMAX_Loafers_Slip-Ons-_-&cadevice=c&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=21040371054&gclid=Cj0KCQiAoZDJBhC0ARIsAERP-F8cos943Ixg-67CaripzDQkFFkIHF9FPAkYTIbdfKsoUqUyglnY_ewaAleQEALw_wcB

      But if you need these by Thanksgiving, seems like your options are limited to Amazon, like these satin slides https://www.amazon.com/JadeRich-Womens-Slippers-Luxury-Indoor/dp/B0DXL3Q8J7/ref=sr_1_10?dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.aGOKXBvVCU1cDcchbeqbTCS-WEz9QZOeEmqVSEMPeyiGjJTyU7dY6V7k2khxZDo13V0Et9KkUwuEe1q05SD-AvXWe2Nia8LTbU8-TvNGiXWlcXrX7N-DDTKBCUJ0bbEzizIvSA1vkvv6kYHNetBRUfs9O0ZG_sMGb9cl6fbmaWJ9Nh7HoECJtTtWFpauCnpOAG-JCHJcp31izPGL8IrzwfU-9cJUqYMcozCXqyVUkKjz5VKk0LOo-IoJ6h-70TZy3RHF7wDUr4UYWv489bmaLg7aR8M4cuyd1CkCpnwXhKo.i3fGxGPRKz9cucgXpb9MDxzSgeY-hO4I1wROuwf9YXU&dib_tag=se&keywords=satin%2Bslippers&qid=1763993852&sr=8-10&th=1&psc=1

    5. Try searching for wedge slippers or party slippers. Patricia Green appears to be a brand name that comes up for expensive ones.

      You could also consider buying some real, leather sole ballet slippers from dance supply (they are not to be worn outdoors), or a velvet ballet flat from DSW that you designate an indoor shoe.

      1. Real ballet slippers have NO support!! The leather on the bottom is very thin and flexible, it’s not like the leather sole of a real shoe. They can also be slippery.

        These are not suitable at all for the OP’s needs.

        1. She considered socks but ruled them out because they’d look weird. I don’t think they’re less supportive than “socks.”

          1. I think they actually are less supportive than socks because they sort of mold your foot into a flat shape whereas socks allow your foot to stay in its natural shape. At least, I always have pain my feet after wearing ballet slippers, and I’m barefoot/in socks 100% of the time at home.

          2. Ballet slippers mold to your foot like socks, not the other way round. Pointe shoes are a different animal.

        2. Yeah, as someone who has taken years of ballet I would never ever wear ballet slippers outside the classroom. Aside from the fact that they have no support, it would just be plain odd to wear them out of context, like walking around the house in cleats or a figure skating dress.

          1. I always liked them since I know how to move in them and find them comfortable, but I quit doing actual ballet classes, so maybe that’s part of the difference!

    7. How about the embroidered top slippers from Talbots? J Crew has some as well. Search for smoking slippers.

    8. Macys has some Isotoner ballet slippers!
      https://www.macys.com/shop/product/isotoner-signature-womens-satin-ballerina-slippers-with-bow?ID=10675282&pla_country=US&CAGPSPN=pla&trackingid=&m_sc=sem&m_sb=Google&m_tp=PLA&m_ac=Google_Womens_PLA&m_ag=&m_cn=GS_Women%27s_Intimates_PMax_PLA&m_pi=go_cmp-22985059117_adg-_ad-__dev-m_ext-_prd-22653642451USA&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=22974716580&gbraid=0AAAAAD-Tw4ImeHwMGIfYINp-C1TN4A8aw&gclid=Cj0KCQiAoZDJBhC0ARIsAERP-F94PoVGlGu-VCQjBSdDX8HzcDpdGvAiBDS7_Z2xW21mDGcppLJjh1AaAkgFEALw_wcB

    9. Perhaps something like this fits your needs, without actually being a slipper. They are cleanable and comfortable: https://www.dsw.com/product/anne-klein-winner-wedge-pump/571114?activeColor=001&cm_mmc=CSE-_-GPS-_-G_Shopping_LIA_Supplemental_Price+Competitive-_-Price+Competitive+SKUs&cadevice=m&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=23051345749&gbraid=0AAAAADRIb9SXTxqvzpzsU2itepgAA7AIh&gclid=Cj0KCQiAoZDJBhC0ARIsAERP-F8W5NWE5jFZmbAGUkPAQtIoYAj-9UCvSh3eYeyFpbGU3NklrewnweYaAj_XEALw_wcB

    10. There are several stores that sell a Mary Jane style slipper. That might work. I don’t know that I’ve ever looked closely at anyone’s feet inside a sock to think they look weird. I’d just be happy they had socks or shoes on.

    12. I personally wear Birdies Starlings in the glitter. You can also get them in velvet, with or without bows. They are real shoes but I don’t wear them much and the soles are clean and fine for inside use.

        1. This model runs TTS, maybe a little large. My foot is on the wide side and they fit well.

    13. I wear the Birkenstock Boston clog while cooking and setting the table, then change into dress shoes once the guests arrive. My feet and back hurt if I just cook in socks. Plus the potential for dropping a large platter on my foot.

      1. I was just coming here to suggest clogs. Personally, I think that Thanksgiving is such heavy cooking and serving that it’s unkind/a little dangerous to enforce the no-shoes rule in the kitchen. Because I’m a Californian with mild pronation, I wear inside shoes (Crocs sandals) about 95% of the time inside.

    14. Get a pair of house Birks! I like the Zermatt shearling-lined ones for winter and a regular pair of Bostons for spring and summer.

      1. Except I would not buy those and expect to be comfortable in them in a few days.

  2. Love this dress! I wish it wasn’t so expensive, but their quality is good. Here’s my question – has anyone tried noosh brand sheer fleece lined tights? My office is somewhere between business casual and formal and I need something to wear with sheaths and sweater dresses with flat shoes. Would I be better off getting Wolford black sheers?

    1. I just got a pair of their fleece lined tights! They fit nicely and stayed up all night for dinner and the theater. I live in Minnesota and they were cozy warm. Highly recommend.

    2. YMMV but I find fleece tights to be way too hot for sitting in an office all day. They are good for a day out in the winter but not for inside.

      1. Same and even then I’d never choose them over long underwear for an outdoor day either. They’re such a bizarre invention. OP, just get regular black tights for your climate controlled office.

        1. I am always cold, like visibly shivering cold. I keep an outdoor puffy coat at my desk to wear when no one is around. I don’t think I’ll overheat, I was just more concerned they would look stupid.

          1. Co-sign — I live in the south and my office is so cold that I’m miserable in it.

  3. I’m in need of some gift guides to skim and get ideas. Primarily for women aged 35-50, who don’t “need” anything but who I know love receiving and unwrapping gifts. Price range preferably $50 or under, I am willing to stalk sales. Nothing perishable/edible. Links or your own best received/given tales welcome!

    2. Zojirushi thermos, Barefoot Dreams socks, L’Occitane hand cream, Dior Addict Lip Glow Balm, Ugg Earmuffs (Nordstrom Rack usually has them on sale)

    3. 100% cashmere bed socks, I always want these but it’s a splash out. A perfume sampler from a good indie brand if you know someone wears fragrance. A handcrafted version of an everyday item (thinking like handcarved wooden spoons, a beautiful ceramic soapdish). Fancy notebooks.

      1. I also like Ruth Crilly/a model recommends who does an annual guide pairing books with fancy chocolate – I know you don’t want edible, but could perhaps replace the chocolate with a nice candle.

      2. I have literally never been excited to receive socks. Not once. Not when I order them, not when a well meaning friend gives them to me. I do not understand why they are always on gift guides. Say no to socks!!

        2. Yeah I only like the socks I like, and love that all my socks are the same kind so can be paired with each other without thinking. I would hate to receive random socks. Although I would appreciate the sentiment.

        3. I love fuzzy socks because I sleep in them in the winter. Like any gift, hopefully you know the recipient.

    4. I do this for my girlfriends every year and give them my favorite luxury adjacent lipstick or gloss of the year. It’s whatever I’m wearing and loving in a shade I know they’ll like. Always a hit.

        1. For real. I get excited when I see them and then whah whah awful. I’d never give anything off them.

        3. Agree, they’re pretty awful. Prefer CapHill Style, and enjoy her husband’s recommendations too

    6. Aesop hand soap, Chanel nail polish, fancy cocktail shaker (there’s a cute penguin one on sale at Nordstrom)

    7. Ornaments from Craftspring

      Dior Lip Glow

      Fenty Hyrda’Reset hand mask (SAVES my hands in winter and the packaging is cute)

      Small monogrammed tote bag from Landsend or LLBean

    9. How about under eye masks? I love those and never buy them for myself. I also really like the Lanolips lip balm duo – it is so good.

  4. For those of you who have China, how many place settings do you have? Trying to figure out the “minimal maximally useful number” of sets. FWIW I had a set of 4 refused-to-break hideous Corelle settings into my 30s and then got a set of 8 white stoneware sets after that as my adult plates. I can get some of my grandmothers pieces. Would 4 make sense? I have a dining room table for 6 (but rarely feed 6) and a kitchen island for 4. I googled and the answer was 12, which seems like too much. The people know entertain a lot mostly host neighbors or family and then they just use the Chinet (the fancy ones that don’t wind up dumping your food in your lap).

    1. I don’t know that asking us how many settings we have is going to help you that much. I have 12, from my mom. I NEVER have dinner parties, and if i did, I wouldn’t be setting out china for them.

      That china is going to end up in a thrift store after I die, because life has changed so much. So I started keeping a few pieces in my kitchen cabinets and using them for everyday. If I break them, or the silver edge gets worn, I don’t care. Better than sitting in the closet until I die, and then going to the thrift store.

      If I were buying china that I thought I’d use for serving a meal to guests, I’d want 8 – 10 place settings.

    2. We have 12 nice dinner plates (not china because I need them to go in the dishwasher) and 12 large salad plates which are what we use 90% of the time. That works well.

      1. FWIW, I toss my china and silver in the dishwasher. It’s never ruined it and makes life easier when you don’t treat it as precious and a pain.

        1. Same for the china though I do handwash the silver. 18 years later and it looks fine.

          1. Once I learned the baking soda on tinfoil polishing trick, I’ve never looked back on silver in the dishwasher. Maybe over generations this will ruin it, but i’ll be dead and in the meantime I’ll have pretty tables.

    3. It totally depends on your preferences/ lifestyle/ how you entertain. I use China that we inherited on holidays, and 12 place settings in the right number. Other entertaining is more casual. I would not buy China if we didn’t have the family dishes – it’s a lot to store for such occasional use.

    4. We got 16 sets for wedding of an everyday white porcelain that is elegant enough for parties. We use it daily for a family of 4 plus frequent guests.
      10 years later, I still have 4-5 of each that I haven’t opened. Have broken a couple over the years.
      I love having bread plates, salad plates, pasta bowls AND dinner plates

      1. Can you recommend which set (brand/pattern) you have? Love that it has salad plates and pasta bowls.

        1. Williams Sonoma Apilco Hemstitch. The have several other collections if that’s not for you. Looks amazing all the time.
          The bread plates I had to get a coordinating style, not available in hemstitch

          1. This is similar to what I did with my ex. We had pullivut from Williams Sonoma. He took it post divorce and now I use the cheaper Bistro set from Sur La Table.

    5. I think if you have China you should use it. Through a wedding gift fluke I have 16 place settings. But I use it regularly and not just for entertaining.

      2. I also have 16 place settings of china and will be pretty close to using it all this week. The upside to having extra is that it makes me less likely to treat it as too precious to use it. Break a dinner plate? No problem! I have more!

    6. well….I break things, and so bought of set of 16 over 2 decades ago. What is left…4 rim soups, 8 dinner plates, 8 bread and butter, 6 desserts, and zero fruit bowls.
      If it were me I would err on the side of too much. I break things! In addition, patterns get discontinued (as mine are) and replacements unlimited is pricey.

    7. We opted to receive a large number of just plates, and we use them regularly for dessert on birthdays and holidays. We don’t host the kind of get togethers that justify having entire sets of china, but the dessert plates get used regularly and feel like an homage to our family. The plates are really the salad plates from the full collection. If we were to host something fancy, our everyday white plates would look great with a nice tablescape and napkins and stemware, and then use the china for dessert.

    8. If your dining room seats 6, I would probably get 6. The space requirements of two additional plates and bowls is so minimal. We’re a family of 4 and while 4 is our most commonly used number, it’s not unusual to have 5 or 6 – a friend over of one of my kiddos or my parents in town.

    9. I have a set of 12. And can easily host stuff with my husband’s rather large family. Future you will be glad you took a full set.

    10. 12 to 16 place settings. In my experience, the dishes take up so much less space than stoneware so the stack itself isn’t that high to store, and they fit nicely on the shelves. I normally buy over time and stalk sales as smaller shops.

    11. i have service for 12. I’m one of 3 kids and figured we’d have a couple kids + a set of parents over so registered for that number at our wedding. Fast forward to now, we have 3 kids so if we have 2 couples on top of that we are already at 9. If my kids ever bring someone home for holiday events, we’d be at 8 without any extended family.

      This Thanksgiving it’s the 5 of us plus two of my cousins and their spouses, and my dad. For Christmas it’s going to be the at least the 5 of us plus my brother and SIL, my sister, my mom, my dad, and possibly dad’s GF which is 11 without anyone else.

    12. I have 12. Dishwasher safe which is key. Do we entertain 12 often? No. But my siblings + kids + my parents + our family are 10 and the same on DH’s side is 11. I find having the full set including matching serving platters super helpful.

      We use it for random special occasions – half birthday? Eat breakfast on china before school. Brunch with friends and their kids – china. Grocery store sushi for mid-week anniversary – china. I’m not great with holiday decor and pinteresty stuff so it’s an easy quick way to elevate things.

      We’ve been through a few sets of ordinary everyday stoneware dishes in the last 18 years but our Royal Doulton china has survived lots of children and carelessness. I do try to avoid using the pizza cutter on it though. Usually I’ll slice on the cutting board.

    13. You’re saying words I don’t understand, I have multiple sets of china ranging from 8-16 settings, some more some less. I love it, I love mixing up the look for different parties and use it all the time. If it’s not your thing, I’d suggest at least 8-10 so you can have a cohesive dinner party. More if your core group exceeds that.

    15. I have a Bavarian set of 16 from my great grandmother. I am so close to sending it to goodwill. Have only used twice. No kids.

    16. I will be inheriting several sets of family china and while it’s beautiful, it almost certainly contains a lot of lead and I won’t serve on it for family meals.

        1. test kit from your local hardware store or search online as there are a number of websites where people have lists of what they have tested. This is helpful only if you are sure of the brand, design and approx. date of manufacture.

    17. I also have 12 and don’t save them for special occasions. If you’re thinking about it I would caution you to get a few more than you think you need, in case of breakage.

      1. Good point, we toss ours in the dishwasher. And haven’t really broken much, that stuff is much more durable than it looks.

    18. Well, we are having 16 people for Thanksgiving tomorrow (adding an extra table to the dining room) so I am happy that I have multiple sets of china. For the OP, I’d suggest getting at least as many sets of Grandma’s china as you have seats at your dining room table, even if you rarely use all the seats.

    19. For daily use? 12 seems like the right number, especially if you’re liable to break a few.

      For special occasions? Your number of chairs +2 sounds about right.

  5. Feeding one vegetarian and four meat eaters this week. I have Thanksgiving figured out but am struggling with rest of week. Tonight, am thinking a vegetarian soup, cuban sliders for the meat eaters, and some good hearty bread for the vegetarian. Maybe a salad? Looking for meal ideas that are hearty enough to feed the vegetarian but have protein available for those who wish. Thanks!

      1. Oh, and grain bowls: a giant tray of roast vegetables + toppings of halloumi or feta, olives and hummus Base of quinoa or spinach.
        Put it all in serving dishes and people can build their own at the table

    2. Meat optional meals – pastas, particularly with vegetarian as the base and then optional proteins (meat, grilled chicken) to add in. Tacos. Burgers with a veggie burger option. Pizzas. Take out Chinese.

    3. Vegetarians need protein too! So think black bean chili, lentil soup, vegetable lasagna, something Mexican (enchiladas or burritos) with a bean and chicken version, stir fries or curries that could be done with tofu or meat, pizza, etc.

    4. Taco bars are great for this kind of thing bc everyone can assemble their own. You could do chicken or whatever in a slow cooker (or just bake/saute/whatever), have beans, and then do a bunch of toppings. Good luck!

      1. Yes this. Also, Make your own pizza. Baked potato bar.

        I find Mediterranean easy and a vegetarian hit: easy to get hummus and veggies and pita and baba ghanoush and grape leaves and cous cous and chicken on the side if needed.

    5. My SIL is vegetarian, BIL is an avowed meat eater and one of my kids is dairy free. Our go-to meals for hosting them are: Pasta with meat sauce or pesto option, Taco bar, Hamburgers with veggie burger option or grilled Halloumi, risotto with salad and chicken roasted separately for meat eaters, veggie chili and meat chili (one in slow cooker, one on stove), sushi, homemade pizza, sheet pan with sausages roasted separately from potatoes and veg.

    6. As a vegetarian, please do remember that we need beans and lentils, eggs. I hate spending a week at my in-laws bc all I get is vegetables and bread. I need protein and fiber! Otherwise I’m hungry and my GI system feels out of whack.

      2. Former vegetarian here. This is where I would help with meal planning, ordering in, and bringing some snacks with me like bags of nuts, peanut butter, and protein powder packets to throw in coffee or water. My host shouldn’t have to worry about cooking lentils if she never makes lentils.

      3. Aren’t vegetables are full of fiber? Coming from a non-vegetarian, it would probably be helpful you give your inlaws some meal planning ideas if you leave their house feeling hungry and unwell.

    7. NYT food had a recipe for white beans and chili paste a few weeks ago. I don’t have a NYT subscription but googled and found it reprinted somewhere. OMG, I am no fan of beans, but this was amazing. Super easy, fast, few ingredients, and vegetarian (but not vegan-it has cheddar cheese on top). It would make a fabulous side for everyone, and your vegetarian friend could load up.

    8. Just a reminder that meat eaters don’t go up in flames if a meal has no meat in it. They can skip meat so you aren’t cooking two things.

      2. Seriously! Meat eaters can eat some beans, it won’t kill them. In fact the fibre will probably do them some good.

        1. I mean, it is OP’s house. If she never eats bean-centric meals, she doesn’t need to start now just because she has house guests who are vegetarian. Beans do not agree with me at all, as in I truly never cook or eat them…

          1. Same. And I think it’s on the person with the restrictions to meet their needs. If you get a veg heavy meal, that’s considerate and plenty for the hostess to do.

        2. Not really. They’d significantly upset my stomach and get me in trouble with my doctor since I’m on a medically required low fiber diet. I’d eat plant based much more often if I could eat more fiber.

          1. Same here. Even if you don’t have a diagnosed medical issue it can still be hard on your stomach if abruptly increase your fiber intake

          2. I should clarify that I’m not saying every diet needs accommodation everywhere we go! I’m just not sure that vegetarians always realize that the idea that vegetarian meals are healthy for everyone and the most accessible and inclusive option isn’t the case (I didn’t realize this when I was vegetarian anyway).

    9. Red curry lentils from Rainbow Plant Kitchen with shredded chicken available as a mix in for meat eaters.

    10. I am making this for my vegetarian guests this evening: https://www.allrecipes.com/alex-guarnaschelli-1980s-date-night-angel-hair-pasta-8722866 If you wanted to, you could add some meatballs or chicken breasts on the side.

      Also you can’t go wrong with pizza. Vegetarian for the veggies, meat toppings for the meat eaters.

      You can also do chili: a vegetarian option and a meat option if you have a big enough crowd, or just no-meat and let the meat-eaters suck it up for once. Add toppings like cheese, sour cream, crumbled tortilla chips, etc.

  6. WWYD? A very good friend and mentor of mine died recently and there will be a wake, funeral, and graveside burial. In a normal situation, I would attend all three. However, I am not on great terms with his family. I worked for him in his family business and there were some problems with other family members when I left that job and they felt he took my side over theirs. Should I skip the graveside service, when it’s harder to be lost in the crowd? Attend and hang out in the back?

    1. Funeral? People aren’t likely to act out in a church in front of a cleric and others.

    3. If you think your attendance will cause any of the family distress on a difficult day I think it would be kind to skip the graveside, but I would attend the funeral service to say my own goodbye.

      1. I expect everyone will be civil in person, and if not, then I will leave. I spoke with another long-time co-worker of ours who knows the background and am following her lead on what to attend, and she’ll be going with me.

  7. I violated one of my own life rules (always reach out to the old friend or family member/always go right away if someone is on hospice) and just found out that the friend I delayed writing to died before I got around to it. Ugh. I’m going to write the condolence card and attend the funeral if they have one. Just thought I’d post something because with it being Thanksgiving week, it’s an especially good time for a reminder to write that note, make that call. I wish I had.

  8. I’m looking for suggestions for a multi-generational family trip for July. We’ll have six adults, ranging from their mid-40s to the early 80s, and two kids, aged nine and 14. The older adults have some mobility issues, so we’d love somewhere that the kids will have fun (a pool, beach, etc.), but doesn’t require everyone to have high levels of activity. We’re coming from the Boston area, Chicago, and Baltimore, so at least some of us will have to fly. Ideally, either direct flights for all, or within two or so hours’ drive from one family’s home base. It would be best if each family had their own space. The drawback of a hotel is the lack of shared spaces for just hanging out, but the drawback of a house rental is that we are all under the same roof! Open to any suggestions for a place that would accommodate this type of trip, whether domestic or international, without breaking the bank!

    1. I would look for a dude ranch that has fishing and other low-intensity options for those with mobility issues. Cost may be a factor but it would be a great time with individual cabins around central meeting areas.

    2. Summertime and Boston has me thinking that anywhere along the northeastern coast might be a good bet? Could Martha’s Vineyard work? Other areas to consider:
      Jersey Shore, Southern Maine, Rhode Island.

    3. Large family here (11 adults, two kids) and we rent a big house. With your family’s locations, I’d look at something along the Delaware coast or on Lake Michigan.

      1. My in-laws have done this on Lake Michigan, though past South Haven so more than 2 hours from Chicago. It’s been a good fit, and you might even be able to come up with two or three smaller houses next to each other, affording both privacy and gathering space.

    4. Tyler Place Family Resort excels at this type of trip but it can get expensive, on the plus side each family group can pick their own accomodations so that helps control cost. They may already be booked for July though.
      Otherwise a particularly walkable city in a shore area is probably your best bet.

    5. People have strong opinions on them, but this is why we do cruises with one side of the family. It’s chose your own price point on the ship, everyone can hang out as needed together and apart. If you decide the hotel route, and can afford it, we’ve found that the club levels work really well for the shared spaces for hanging out. Most have games that can be played together or a living room set up to enjoy a bottle of wine.

      1. That was what my mind to as well. My favorite multi-generational family vacation was a cruise. We all did what we wanted during the day, some things together, some things separately, and then would always come together and spend evenings together.

      2. I dislike cruises and I agree. My husband’s family always does a cruise each year for everyone and it is by far the most enjoyable group vacation I have because no one has to cook, clean, and there is *something* to do. No one complains about food, what to do, etc.

    6. One of the Martinhal properties in Portugal.

      I find in general that Europeans tend to do more multi-generational trips and accommodations are more likely to have a property with a mix of small and large hotel rooms, apartments, and full houses.

    7. We do a big family trip every summer to the beach (we are all located west so we go to California). We rent a large house with a pool and there is enough room for everyone to spread out. We usually find a place where each couple has their own room or sometimes their own little connected apartment and the kids have a bunk room or a couple of rooms on their own side of the house. We like a big kitchen and living room and lots of outdoor space.

    8. Rent a bunch of condos on the boardwalk at Rehoboth Beach. Elevators + walkable. One Virginia Place has a lot of rental units and is walkable to everything yet quiet. There is a pool on site.

    9. I mean, this sounds like the perfect use case for a cruise- separate rooms, shared spaces + meals, accessible for limited mobility.

    10. +1 on a cruise, or an all-inclusive beach resort. Beaches Turks and Caicos is fabulous for kids that age and there are direct flights from Boston and Chicago, though probably not from Baltimore (unless they can fly out of DC?)

      A lot of the suggestions in this thread don’t seem great to me for the 80 year olds. I don’t think “dude ranch” and “limited mobility” go together.

    11. Rent a house on Isle of Palms in South Carolina. It’s near a major airport (Charleston). You can get a massive house that has a pool and is near the beach, all for less than the same type of house in the northeast. Every family will have their own area of the house and bathroom, so people can retreat to their own space when needed, and can gather in the common areas during the day.

  9. Want to up my gift giving game so I am looking for wrapping paper that is somewhere in between the thin stuff at Target and the incredibly expensive stuff at PaperSource. I want a nice, decent weight paper – where is your favorite place to purchase holiday wrapping paper? (Oh – and if you know of a way I can learn to do a nice job wrapping gifts – like a tutorial or something – send that my way as well. I’m really bad and my packages look just a grade above toddler!).

    1. I like Hallmark paper. They have some dreadful patterns but also some each year that I really like. And they are heavy enough to get a nice look and have a cutting grid on the back. I don’t use their ribbons, I buy better quality fabric ribbon. Every year I forget how to tie a decorative bow and go on YouTube for a tutorial.

      1. Me too. I’ll often buy after Christmas for next year. Since that’s not an option here, it’s worth the money, go ahead and pay full price OP

    2. Go to the container store the second week of January. You can normally find the expensive stuff for a couple dollars a roll. (I know, not the answer for this year.)

    3. I love rifle paper company for this. FWIW, a roll of paper goes far for me – I’m not wrapping giant gifts, the best things come in small packages anyway, so you can go nice with a few rolls. Also ribbon makes a difference- I get lots of pretty options on Amazon.

    5. CostPlus World Market has in-between quality wrapping paper if I remember correctly.

    8. Costco and the container store in the clearance section are my favorite places to buy wrapping paper.

  10. Just a vent into the void… as one of the most senior associates at my firm it’s our unofficial responsibility to nudge the associate group to respond or pick up assignments. There are actually three most ‘senior’ associates and three soon-to-be official senior associates who could also send out these nudges, but it always ends up being me. One of the most ‘senior’ associates is relatively new so may be not comfortable sending it and the other just doesn’t do it.
    I think I am just going to stop sending the nudges. They can figure it out themselves or get in trouble as a group with the firm. It’s annoying, pulls focus from my work, and I am just not interested. Nor is the work visible to any partners since it all happens amongst the associate group.
    Or I need to reset the standard where everyone just defaults to replying all with ‘not it/at capacity’ until someone finally has to put their hand up.
    How do you handle this at your firm?

    1. I’d come up with a different system. It sounds like there was effectively no system, you stepped into the void, and everyone is fine with that except you.

    2. Is the one who doesn’t do it by any chance a man? Not in law, but I think your other alternative is to make this work visible higher up, assuming that would help your positioning in a way that would be useful to your career. Would there be any scope for pitching yourself to partners as a leader who can formally support allocating work?

      1. Yes…. amazing how those gender dynamics work (haha/not funny). It’s a good alternative but the firm’s perspective tends to be anything that isn’t billable work or would lead to billable work isn’t highly valued. Or it’s ‘valued’ but not where it matters (aka $$$$ at the end of the year) – I learned this lesson the hard way a few years ago. Also why I am trying to find a way to lessen the administrative/non-billable tasks on me.

    3. I’d stop. Trying to be someone’s fake supervisor at a law firm is a terrible idea for your future network.

    4. Seniors keep just assigning work to juniors specifically They end up with go-to juniors based on who does good work and is responsive. Pool assignments weren’t a thing beyond summers or maybe first years.

    5. Let it fail. If the world doesn’t end, then it’s probably not important to keep doing it.

      1. This is the way. If the other person can opt out, so can I. Do I need to say anything…? I think I can just stop and the rest of them can figure themselves out?

        1. If nobody asked you to do it, no supervisor is aware of it or cares if you do it, and none of your peers are helping to shoulder it as an agreed-upon system that everyone owns . . . then yes, simply stop. (Also, be prepared to endure your own discomfort if something goes wrong as a result. The reason we Gap Fillers step into tasks like this is because we want things to run smoothly. When they don’t, the Just Wing It People may not even notice. We’re the ones who feel it.)

  11. This is an annoying coupled-up question, but does anyone struggle to sleep alone? Any tips on improvement? I’ve been away 20-30% of the time for the last 4.5 years and am still terrible at sleeping alone. I think my husband keeps me weighted down so I toss and turn less. It’s always in hotels so can’t drag a weighted blanket with me. I’ve got great sleep hygiene, a white noise machine, magnesium. The only thing that really works is doubling my dose of amitryptaline but that makes me groggy in the AM.

    1. I always get 2 extra blankets when I stay at a hotel. The extra weight of the blankets helps me sleep even if I don’t need them for warmth. Hotel blankets tend to be thin!

    2. With the caveat that I’m single, but I always sleep terribly in hotels.

      I travel a lot for work and I’ve yet to find a solution.

    3. Be exhausted. I only sleep well by myself if I didn’t get much sleep the night before or I do enough high intensity exercise to wipe myself out

    4. following with interest because while I don’t have this problem, my husband has developed it. He doesn’t really fall asleep until I come to bed which is annoying to us both because he is ready for bed around 9:45/10 and I’m not until about an hour later. I try to come up to bed and read but sometimes one of the kids is still up and wants to hang and I don’t want to ditch them (it won’t last!).

    5. I build a small pillow fort around me when I’m sleeping alone. Two pillows angled around my head to mimic I’m sleeping in my husbands chest. Then one or two at my back to mimic him cuddling me from behind. I travel a lot with my sister and she thinks I’m ridiculous. But I sleep great!

      1. Ah that’s a good shout. I fall asleep on my husband’s shoulder and tend to end up little spoon.

    6. I don’t know, because my problem is with sleeping with someone else in the room. I do like the pillow nest for coziness.

  12. It’s already time to start planning summer vacations and we’d like to try Hilton Head for our beach trip in May.

    Any recommendations on which part of the island or where to stay? I went as a kid and it’s changed a ton. Will likely do an Airbnb as we’re bringing a family, grandparent, and a dog.

  13. I learned this morning that Nordstrom does not price match for black friday deals. Which means the large haul of clothes I bought last week is now significantly on sale and they will not make an adjustment even tho I am within the ten day price adjustment period. Has anyone ever had success taking this up the chain to a supervisor and getting a price match, or is it a hard policy? I don’t want to waste my time on it, but as someone who buys most of her and her family’s clothes and spends a ton of money there (I have icon status on their credit card!), I kind of expected a little give. When I pointed out that I could just return and re-purchase the items, the CSR on chat told me that yes, that’s an option for me. It’s just frustrating to have to jump thru hoops.

      1. agree. it might be worth it to make ONE phone call to make that point, but i wouldn’t spend a lot of time on it.

    2. They do this expecting that many people will not find it worth the effort to re-buy and return vs the number of people they would have to price adjust for if they allowed it. They’re not wrong. I’ll rarely fuss with a re-buy and return if it’s less than a $100 total difference on the order, it’s just not worth losing the time to deal with it.

    5. I had a similar frustration around price matching Bobbi Brown makeup-apparently they would not price match the sale price on the BB website. I had purchased from Nordies assuming they would. So, yes, I reordered from BB and sent the other items back to Nordies. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes (they paid for the return shipping).

  14. For Thanksgiving, how do you all set a table? I have a wood table that I cover with an white oilcloth tablecloth because my people are generally savages who also use it as a homework, poster, and crafting table. For something a bit more intentional (if not rising to the level of actually fancy), do you use tablecloth + placemats + plates / silverware + cloth napkins (all of that I have)? I don’t have chargers. Are they useful? Actually used?

    I have generally lived an Ikea life but am getting stalked on social by Williams-Sonoma and Joanna Buchanan (delightful!) and maybe it’s time I grew up a little (budget allows; time and effort are my big constraints).

    1. Tablecloth or placemats, not both. Chargers are only for decorative place settings; remove before eating.

    2. Also: do you serve dinners from the stovetop or put everything into serving pieces (and then, do they go on the dining table or stay on a kitchen counter)? Every meal I cook is just served from the cooking container (working adult, pressed for time, no one likes to clean, people are really lucky to get a meal cooked at home but because we have an adult with a high blood pressure and a kidney condition, we home cook meals so we can be better about the ingredients for that).

    3. All of the above except chargers and placemats to fit more people, but I generally use placemats and chargers with a tablecloth for a layered look.

    4. Tablecloth in a dark color or pattern, cloth napkins and nice napkin rings, plates without chargers. Water glasses are on the table, wine or rocks glasses are at the bar. In the center of the table put some decorative items (votive holders with real or electric tea lights, small flower arrangement, small pumpkins or pine cones).

    5. Tablecloth, cloth napkins, serving dishes and platters on the table because I love fancy linens and have finally amassed enough serving dishes and platters. I have never used chargers. The ones I have seen look pretty in pics but cheap in real life because they are cheap. And they take up so much room. I am more substance (real linen, pretty china) over style (gold plastic charger), so I vote for no chargers.

    6. Parents (60s and 70s)- yes, they bring out all the silver and china serving dishes, and those are set either on the sideboard or on the TG table itself. Yes, it makes clean-up take long with everything that can’t fit in the dishwasher or can’t go in the dishwasher, but whatever.

      Peers (40s and 50s)- more likely to do a general clean-up of the kitchen to have clean counters, but serve things in the kitchen from the cooking vessels, which are often pretty (like Emile Henry or Le Creuset casserole dishes, All Clad stovetop) but also practical.

    7. Tablecloth in white or festive color like maroon or forest green. Placemats, cloth napkins, all the settings. We iron the tablecloth and linens. Placemats are essential, especially for spills. Never used chargers. We use a sideboard to help with serving. Don’t let the linens linger— the next day, or when you can, treat and wash the tablecloth , wine stains especially.

    8. We have too many people to have serving dishes on the table, so we are doing a buffet on the kitchen island. Chafing dishes and crockpots to keep hot food hot. Tables (two this year because 16 people total) are set with (Thanksgiving themed) tablecloths and napkins, place cards, dinner plates and bread and butter plates (all matching on each table but the tables don’t match each other), wine glasses (stemless) and water glasses, sterling flatware (again, each table all matching but the tables don’t match each other). And candles because we eat at actual dinnertime when it’s getting dark.

    9. Get a thick felt pad or one of those custom-made folding pads to put under the tablecloth to protect the wood from moisture, heat, and scratches. You can use it under your everyday oilcloth as well.

      Set the table with china, flatware, glassware, and cloth napkins. Do not put placemats atop a tablecloth. Do not use charger plates while eating, and really don’t use them at all unless you are time-traveling back to a 1990s magazine shoot. The purpose of napkin rings is to corral a napkin that is waiting on the table for reuse at the next meal, so don’t use them on a formal table.

      We serve all big meals buffet-style from the kitchen table or kitchen counter to avoid the hassle of passing serving dishes.

    10. We are not fancy Thanksgiving people so we just buy a holiday tablecloth and use regular plates.

    11. I really prefer to keep everything un-fussy, so I’m very much a “card tables and folding chairs in the garage to fit in as many people as possible” kind of Thanksgiving host. Our Thanksgiving is a buffet-style potluck and heavy duty paper plates/plastic cutlery. I like to admire fancy place settings, but I find they get in the way of me enjoying the holiday. All this to say – do what makes you happy. If you enjoy decorating and looking nice, decorate and look nice!

    1. no experience with the flannel specifically, but we’ve been happy with all other Company Store sheet purchases.

    2. If you can find a pattern you like, Garnet Hill flannels are 40% off and at least some are 6 oz. weight. I have GH flannels that have received lots of wear that are 30 years old.

      2. I’m OP – we adore our Garnet Hill flannels but I didn’t see anything in the current patterns that was interesting without being something my teenage boy would groan over.

  16. I just got some pretty bad feedback at work, my job is now at risk, and honestly I’m not surprised. I know I haven’t been performing well lately, I know I’m not focused. I’m super depressed between some issues at home and my job which seems to keep reorging or changing direction every 5 minutes. Still, I know I need to pull it together but I’m so far deep that I could really use some help.

    Any strategies, tips, books I can read over the holiday weekend that will help?

    1. I don’t know that self help book is going to fix the underlying problems. Are you doing anything to address the depression?

    3. can you take protected medical leave? FMLA is unpaid, but ST disability or LTD is partially paid. Would a month off help you get it together?

        1. Yes, but not forever. If you need to use it to get well, absolutely do. But if it is a way to fend off your employer, it’s a known “trick” and will be noticed.

          1. If it gets OP the time she needs to get through whatever is going on, or to get treatment, all the better. FMLA can also be used to go part time for a while!

        2. If the company is already doing a reorg, then OP will likely be included. Her performance issues predate any FMLA leave.

          OP, it really sucks they told you right before Thanksgiving. Come next Monday, it’s time to start the job hunt.

    5. Does your work offer EAP? Counseling/therapy is available in person and via telehealth at my work.

      Also, does your work offer a coaching program? Ask, especially since you’ve gotten feedback, and take them up on it

    6. Take FMLA leave if its available. If you’re clinically depressed and you work at a business that isn’t itty bitty, it’s available to you for this sort of situation.

  17. I am ready to buy this from you! And I already have service for 12! Kidding/not kidding I will pay to have it shipped to me.

  18. What are the stretchiest comfiest men’s jeans? Something equivalent to Wit & Wisdom in stretch?

    1. I bought my husband the AG Everett Slim Straight Jeans (Canyon Smoke) for long flights and they are stretchier than some of my leggings!

    2. My husband buys Mugsy– they are very stretchy. He finds them more comfortable than athleisure.

    3. My husband swears by the Mott & Bow ones that are marketed for travel (can’t remember the style exactly).

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