Suit of the Week: Me + Em
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For busy working women, the suit is often the easiest outfit to throw on in the morning. In general, this feature is not about interview suits for women, which should be as classic and basic as you get — instead, this feature is about the slightly different suit that is fashionable, yet professional. Also: we just updated our big roundup for the best women's suits of 2025!
Me+Em is one of my favorite catalogs/websites to drool over, and this “Camelia pink” suiting set caught my eye immediately. (This supremely dumb styling also caught my eye, but that is neither here nor there.)
First, I love the color – this corally/peachy pink feels unusual as far as pink suits go, and I like it. I like the black buttons and how they stand out against the pink. It's also nice that there are so many matching pieces — their “sharp shoulder” blazer is pictured here, but there's also a matching tailored shirt jacket with short sleeves, and two pant shapes, wide and cropped. There are a number of other pieces in matching Camelia pink, but in different fabrics, I think, including this gorgeous short-sleeved cashmere polo.
The suiting fabric is also worth discussing — it's been ages since I've seen a silk suiting blend, even if it is silk/viscose. Lovely!
The suiting pieces are $425-$625.
As of 2025, some of our latest favorite pink suits for women include saturated pinks from Boden, Reiss, and Eloquii, as well as pale pinks from Boss, Ann Taylor, J.Crew, and Tahari (in regular and plus).
Sales of note for 4/21/25:
- Nordstrom – 5,263 new markdowns for women!
- Ann Taylor – 25% off tops & sweaters + extra 40% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50%-70% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 10% off new womenswear styles
- Brooks Brothers – Friends & Family Sale: 30% off sitewide
- The Fold – 25% off selected lines
- Eloquii – $29+ select styles + extra 40% off all sale
- Everlane – Spring sale, up to 70% off
- J.Crew – Spring Event: 40% off sitewide + extra 50% off sale styles + 50% swim & coverups
- J.Crew Factory – 40%-70% off everything + extra 70% off clearance
- Kule – Lots of sweaters up to 50% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Earth Day Sale: Take 25% off eco-conscious fabrics. Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
- Madewell – Extra 30% off sale + 50% off sale jeans
- Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 50% off last chance styles; new favorites added
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 30% off entire purchase w/Talbots card
Looking for recommendations for a dress to wear to my kids’ school’s annual fundraising dinner. Cocktail attire. Kentucky Derby themed. Early may in mid-Atlantic. Indoors. Plus size with weight carried in middle and ch3st. TIA!
Hmmm derby plus dinner is a tough combo. Definitely a fancy hat or a fascinator (go with a fascinator if it’ll be crowded). I’d usually go with something Lily Pulitzer-like but that seems more daytime to me. Do you have a floral print dress that feels a little more evening? Or something you’d wear to a graduation that will include dinner?
whatever black dress you own + crazy hat
I have to attend a lot of cock tail attire events for work. This is one of my favorites right now:
https://www.macys.com/shop/product/eliza-j-plus-size-puffed-sleeve-3d-floral-shift-dress?ID=20784160
I also own similar to this one in a different print and it is so, so comfortable. Much lighter weight than it appears:
https://www.macys.com/shop/product/eliza-j-womens-one-shoulder-floral-print-ruched-gown?ID=21000304
Dillards has some nice florals in a tea length from Adriana Papell that would probably go well with your derby theme. She never fits me well though–I always need to tighten the straps (and I have a pretty decent chest).
I haven’t tried anything on, but check out Eloquii. There was some really cute options there, too (it’s not normally top of mind for me, and I was surprised).
Not sure how dressy you intend to go, but check out Sugarlips (they have a Curve section that is all plus). I love their dresses for spring and summer events.
While I always gravitate toward a black dress, for Kentucky derby, I’d go floral, pastel, or bright colors, if you have it. My kids’ school has one and I definitely was out of place year 1 when I wore a black sundress and didn’t have a hat or fascinator. That said, I’d wear a black dress I already owned and buy a fascinator over buying a dress that I may never wear again + buying a hat/fascinator that I will also never wear except for a Kentucky derby party. You can find a fascinator for under $30.
I know it’s antithetical to the ethos of this place, but I really like what Allison Bornstein has to say about this kind of event. I’ll link to her most recent post on it, and here’s a good quote:
“The gist is this: when we shop for specific events (baby showers, vacations, weddings), we often focus on the theme or location and forget to check in with our own style.”
https://allisonbornstein.substack.com/p/what-to-wear-where
YES, this is so true.
Piggybacking: Where’s a good place to find a fun, not too expensive, Derby party hat? (Or, given my big head, maybe a fascinator?)
Do you live near horse people? This time of year, the nice second hand stores and local boutiques will have a lot of options for people who are going to big local horse races. There is probably a millinery/hattery nearby; they are probably expensive.
If you don’t live near horse people then you could check out boutiques that cater to the ~21 year old crowd. Idk if forever 21 is still around but I got a bunch of fascinators from them back in the day.
TON of options on Amazon. I’ve reworn my hair clip fascinator for two roaring 20s parties now. (I swear, every conference I attend seems to have one party night with this theme….)
I found a fascinator on Etsy last year for around $30. It was really cute and is much easier to store than a hat.
I have basic floppy-brimmed straw hat that I gussy up each year for derby parties. Sometimes I use silk flowers, a pretty gift wrap bow and ribbons, a feather boa, or one year I made alcohol & marker coffee filter flowers.
The rest of the year it uses my hat for resting on the beach.
I’d wear a floral dress, bonus points for roses, and a fascinator.
Where would you go?
Husband and I will have 4-5 days childfree in August when they are all in camp – our first time sans-kids for any material period of time in 10+ years. We are Midwest based and would like to plan a simple trip somewhere in the US. The logistics have to be somewhat simple (i.e., destination has to be easily accessible from an airport) as the window is sort of short between a Sunday pm camp drop off and a Friday pm camp pick up.
We like national parks and that general vibe, like the idea of hiking (though little experience with that), and being outdoors (but I do not prefer camping). I like pretty places and places near water but am otherwise unfussy about luxuries or specifics.
We’ve thought a tiny bit about Portland ME, Portland OR, or trying to do something like Redwoods national park.
Where should we go to explore and reconnect???
Unless you like to travel at ungodly early times, summer travel last summer was the worst I’ve ever seen, with my sibling struggling to make connecting flights back to her midwest city (Portland surely requires a connecting flight). If you have kids that you HAVE to pick up from camp, I’d suggest the most luxe drive-able trip possible. Glamping? Many massages at boutique hotel followed by unwise choices? Tennis camp for adults? Summer flying is just not pleasant — my drive vs fly time used to be 5 hours, but I had a great 10 hour car trip (8.5 hours actual driving time) and it was better than the same trip by plane. And that was with not checking any bags.
Fair but the OP could pretty easily fly out early Monday AM and back Thursday AM and still have a solid 2.5 days somewhere fun, with a good cushion on the back end to make pickup. It’s the afternoon thunderstorms that usually snarl things up. That said, my tolerance for flights is higher than many – like happily squeezed in London for a 3 day weekend – and I loathe driving.
OP, I’d browse nonstop flights from your home airport and see if anything strikes your fancy.
Midwesterner who goes to Maine every summer here. In August, you can fly nonstop to Portland from Chicago, Detroit, Minneapolis and I think Columbus, so it might not involve a layover for OP. Bangor (Acadia) is harder, and only has non-stops from ORD to my knowledge.
Kennebunkport, ME.
San Francisco with a day trip to Napa? Quebec City?
+1 San Francisco. Weather will be better than much of the country. Hiking on Angel Island or Marin Headlands or in Point Reyes (but definitely stay in Point Reyes if hiking there).
Banff
Banff is great, but there’s a good chance of significant forest fires by August. I’d save that for a July trip. We went to Banff a few years ago and could barely see Lake Louise through the smoke.
Fly to Denver, spend a night in Boulder, and then drive somewhere in the mountains. Or spend the entire time in Boulder and take some day trips – there’s good hiking not far from there.
YMM(definitely!)V, but after a lot of trial and error, my husband and I have found out we do best with staycation-type trips that focus on staying in a nearby luxury hotel and doing fine dining, theatre and spa treatments for our couples trips. When we plan adventurous trips that involve hiking, etc. we overschedule ourselves and end up burned out and too tired to reconnect (we had an epically bad trip to Iceland), and when we plan lazy beach resort vacations we miss our kids because they would enjoy it and it wouldn’t really change the trip to have the kids with us. But fine dining, theatre and spa stuff are not very compatible with young kids, but still relaxing, so for us that’s the sweet spot that . Napa would be a good option if that interests you, or Chicago if you’re not local.
Park City, Utah. A Delta hub, so lots of flights to Salt Lake. August weather is cool and dry. Hiking trails are extensive. You can mountain bike or use flatter bike trails. The city bus is wonderful, easy to use, and free, so you may not need a car. You can visit Olympic Park. Lots of restaurant options from low to high.
Where ever you go, if you fly, try for a place that only involves one plane and has plenty of flight options. For two summers in a row, it took my sister days to get home from our annual family visit. DAYS. Too few flights, too many missed connections, too many times one crew might go over working hours, weather delays, plane problems. One direct flight to/from a busy airport shouldn’t be a problem though (I live in a major airport and tend to have a lot of trips to the NEUS, which may have delays but only an hour or at worst you get bussed from DCA to IAD).
I vote for Colorado.
Depending on where you’re at in the Midwest here’s a less popular/well known suggestion – New River Gorge National Park in West Virginia. It’s the newest national park and not overrun and we really enjoyed it and the town for a couple of days. It’s not too overwhelming or commercial because it’s newer. Fayetteville was a completely unexpected cool town for me – small town cool hippy vibe. I wasn’t expecting it in West Virginia at all. Especially if you are interesting at all in white water rafting, although we didn’t do it and still enjoyed the park quite a bit. It’s got nice hikes.
I do think you would probably have to drive there, but if it’s within a one day drive that’s what I would do. Suggested iternary:
Day 1 – Road Trip to Fayetteville
Day 2 – Long Point Trail Hike (easy 3 miles) and/or Endless Wall Hike (easy 3 mile). Check out cute shops downtown.
Day 3 – White Water Rafting Trip
Day 4 – if not afraid of heights, bridge walk. And/or Kaymoors Miners Trail hike (harder but short hike – 800+ stairs, 1.5 miles out and back).
Day 5 – Road Trip home
Food recommendations – there were more in the area we were curious about but didn’t get a chance to try:
Wood Iron Eatery
Cathedral Cafe
Pies and Pints
Secret Sandwich Society
Thanks everyone! Excellent feedback, I’ll dig in on these. I like the idea of starting with non-stop flight options and working backwards, or focusing on great places within a reasonable drive. We do have grandparents on call to swoop in and do camp pickup if we get stuck someplace but would prefer that be the emergency option.
Congrats on reaching the “all kids in sleepaway camp” stage! It’s a very exciting parenting milestone :)
A northern Michigan lake vacation or Grand Marais, MN, depending on where you are located?
Isle Royale NP?
in response to someone’s comment this morning “The problem is those old men aren’t contributing. They just have giant egos and take credit for the work of their underlings while earning wildly overvalued salaries.” — this is a very large general assumption and generalization and is definitely not the case in all fields. saying something like that is just as bad as saying that “it’s not worth investing in women in the workplace bc they just leave to have kids.” i had posted about my father and his cousin who still work. my father is an ophthalmologist – he is an individual contributor in a small group practice, there is no work of underlings for him to take credit for. about 10 years ago he sold his solo practice to the practice he joined. All of the physicians in the group have full schedules. The practice actually wants to hire another ophthalmologist and can’t find one, so if he left people would have to wait longer for appointments.
Omg let it go with the #notallmen. No it is not like generalizations about historically oppressed groups. Old white men are not oppressed. They don’t need you to stand up for them.
Idk if you knew this, but all generalizations about humans based on race and identity are bad and reflect poorly on your intelligence! The fact that some have historically led to worse consequences than others doesn’t mean that only those are bad.
the OP never said they are white
They still don’t need her to make a whole entire post about them.
I mean, people here make whole posts about asinine things all the time. It’s a thing that’s allowed.
You are taking the comments too personally, especially since you felt the need to defend your dad and his cousin with this much detail.
i’m not the OP, but i think its just as bad to say something along the lines of “it’s not worth investing in women in the workplace since so many have babies, take maternity leave and become sahm.”
I mean, I’m a feminist and kind of agree with that though.
You’re a shit feminist, then!
I’m LOL-ing at “you’re a shit feminist then” but yeah…
White men are not an oppressed class, they don’t need you standing up for them. Maybe find a worthy cause.
Wait scratch that (no editing feature?)- I way misread that!
I agree that the comment you objected to is bigoted and small minded. But it’s okay to just say “wow, the idiots are out in force today!” to yourself and move on.
Right – it was one comment in a larger discussion.
The comment doesn’t say all old men don’t contribute, it says THOSE men. It is specifically speaking about old men who aren’t contributing. Taking quotes out of context is intellectually dishonest.
Cool story, bro.
Nobody cares about your dad.
Rude. I appreciated her example. The world is a complex place and some jobs need to be filled by experts for as long as they’re willing to work. It’s ok to acknowledge that. It doesn’t make boomers, as a generation, less self centered.
I’m sorry you’re getting piled on, even though I think this post was probably unnecessary. Once you start noticing the cognitive distortions in many commenters’ posts here, it’s hard to unsee them. Just skip the folks who are engaging in black and white thinking; they’ll figure out their own cognitive biases when they’re ready.
I am enrolling in community college for the first summer session, just one class. It starts last month!
Any pointers for an adult going back to the classroom while working? It is in between home and work, work is predictable (usually) if not always super-flexible. I hope the class will be live and in person, but IDK yet.
My goal is to build some missing pre-reqs for a theoretical goal of getting a degree related to some volunteer work that I enjoy, in case I want to make a career change to it down the road. I have a BA already, just in a different field.
It probably depends on how long ago you graduated, but expect a lot of digital work like discussion boards even from in-person classes. Summer classes can move at a faster pace since the semester is typically shorter. Bring snacks and give yourself more time to get to the classroom if you’re not familiar with the campus. Group projects are still terrible, unfortunately.
Agreed with the poster above.
I’d also say don’t expect everyone in the class to be invested. People are there for a varied of reasons, and sometimes they’re really disinterested, checked out, or immature.
FWIW, I used to teach community college and many in my family still do, and we love and appreciate students like you!
If your professor has office hours, use them! It doesn’t have to be for a ‘big deal’ thing, but try to go and ask a question or get clarification. This could be over email, too. It’s a good way to make sure you don’t fall behind and build rapport.
Retired private college assistant registrar’s perspective –
Use the college email address to communicate with your cohort and college community rather than your personal email (it can be forwarded and this keeps a privacy barrior if needed). Read the messages from the college. Mixed in with all the event notices and invitations to join things you may not care about will be important information from the college admin, your advisor, or professors.
I also took some CC classes to complete a certification 10 years out from my retirement and found it highly rewarding being back in the classroom.
You may see a greater mix of student types in your class than if you attended a traditional 4 year school on a post-high track. Expect dual-enrolled high school students, traditional college age students, and everyone else. Student goals are likely more mixed too which can effect the engagement levels in class participation. Student readiness is more uneven (although readiness and engagement are not necessarily paired).
CC is a great mixed bag. As you have the bandwidth, there’s opportunity to “mini mentor”. Since you are doing pre-reqs, you will likely have a number of students taking their first-ever courses each term, with all the hopes and fears that implies. If you see confusion about the syllabus, maybe ask if they need help – something like that.
I made several nodding, chatting, in-class friendships during that period of my life which friendships grew slowly after we each finished our certifications. Now that I’ve retired, those are some of my more active local relationships as other friends have retired and moved south or closer to their kids. A retirement planning I didn’t realize I was doing.
Enjoy your classes and campus life.
I’ve got a few days in Montreal in May with my husband, around a work trip. Staying near the Old Port – any recommendations for delicious vegan food or less touristy adventures?
Bota Bota floating spa! https://botabota.ca/en/
+1 for Bota Bota!!
Neither of these is “not touristy” but we very much enjoyed the climb up Mont Royal and the Biodome. We stayed in le Plateau and liked the neighborhood vibes of the restaurants, though we are omnivores so no vegan-specific advice.
La Beignerie – amazing vegan donuts
Chez Zac Pizzeria – phenomenal vegan pizza, really well thought out toppings and top notch quality crust
Bloom sushi – fancy vegan sushi, chef designed flavour profiles, none of that bland veggie nonsense
Burger Fiance – classic white people food burgers, fries etc but all vegan and extremely well done
Lola Rosa – delightful range of random vegan foods
Sham – shawarma a Canadian drinking classic but all vegan!
Not a fan of LOV I find their offerings mediocre.
I clearly love food and have gone to most vegan restaurants in Montreal so if you have questions about ones I haven’t mentioned I’m happy to answer.
I am late to seeing this comment, but thank you!!
I’m almost 50 and starting to think about retirement, and I’m curious if others are also — it just seems like if I wait until I’m 70 then retirement is going to be mostly puttering around instead of travel and goals. Just wondering how others are dealing with this – are you trying to take longer vacations now and look at it as ones you would have taken with retirement funds? Taking sabbaticals to write the novel or whatever? I wouldn’t mind working until I’m 80 either if the alternative at that point is just puttering around.
You’d better duck if the folks on this morning’s thread read your last sentence.
Seriously.
I am slowly retooling for a second career with the idea that I can work PT after my husband retires. No doubt, I will be accused of taking the slot of someone younger not just in the new field (which is struggling for any workers) but in the one funding my transition (and retirement).
Woah. I just went to read that thread as I collapsed it earlier. It is banana crackers.
A little of each. We are traveling more, and taking bigger trips, now that we are empty nesters. Plan to retire in my mid-60’s (about 10 years out), and hope to have many years to travel and do other things at that point. But if I’m loving my job and still in great health I might work til I’m 70. I think the key is to find a retirement job or volunteer work that’s flexible enough to let you do all the trips and stuff.
For me, it was a mix of things, and of course everyone’s experience will vary. You need to consider your health, finances, what your work is like, and what you want to do in retirement. I do take some longer vacations now, and I’ve been taking some stay at home vacations to experience having no structure.
I’m still working, and have been told by my employer that I’m still considered an essential worker. I’m happy to stay on until either I or they change. There are lots of different retirement goals, I’ve traveled everywhere for work so am less driven to travel in retirement. My husband and I are very focused on creating a fulfilling retirement life, which takes effort and trial and error. My preference is to have a vibrant life where we are then do some travel. My retired neighbor travels a lot, and is always planning to travel or traveling. When home, he does chores and not much else because he’s not part of others every day life.
Puttering is underrated.
I’m early 40s, and I’m not saving any of my bucket list trips for retirement, because there’s no guarantees on health, or for that matter, making it to retirement (I know of entirely too many people who have dropped dead of unexpected cardiac issues in their mid-40s lately). This does mean I have to shorten some trips from what I really would like if I had all the time in the world in retirement (so 1 or 2 weeks instead of 3-4; I can convince work to cover me for 2 weeks, but I think they’d riot if I tried to take 3), but i’d rather do them now while I know I can do the physically active things I want to do.
I’m also hoping to retire early, but we’ll see if that happens given, well, *gestures around at everything*
Same. I want to be like my grandparents and take fabulous vacations when I retire. But the older I get, the less tolerant I am of crowds and general travel inconvenience/discomfort. If being jostled in a crowd feels extra annoying at 40 compared to the minor annoyance I experienced at 20, then I can’t imagine I will want to fight crowds when I’m 60+ and could have balance issues on top of being persnickety (if family history holds true).
I think I’ll want a very different type of vacation in retirement than I want now. And that’s ok! I can always go back to places I once assumed would be once in a lifetime trips. My current GO GO GO pace might help me narrow down spots where I want to stop and smell the roses.
I am the exact same way, so I’ll take the 5 am flights and go on the 6 am hikes. In a foreign country I’ll be out the door at sunrise and in before the nightlife heats up, because I don’t want to be surrounded by people and their general thoughtlessness.
I turn 40 soon. I hope to retire in my mid-50s once our youngest child is through college and we no longer have that financial burden, but I have a spouse who plans to work as long as he’s able (he’s a college professor, this is standard in his field — the last few retirement parties we’ve attended have all been for people who were 75-80). I will likely do some freelance work to have some income, but will rely on him for health insurance, etc.
Definitely not saving travel for retirement though – we travel a ton and now that are kids are in elementary school and are easier to travel with we’re starting to check off some of our big bucket list destinations like South Africa and Japan.
What do you do if spouse passes and you are not Medicare eligible yet? It’s the health insurance thing that is so darn expensive and holds me back a bit from an earlier retirement (I have a spouse who is older).
And I also wonder what my career may look like in the next few years. So many folks traveling, etc. now assume they will have similar income as they get older and may be caught off guard by how difficult it could be to work at comparable positions after 50. If you lose your job, ageism in keeping you back from equivalent is a real thing.
I worry about both of those things. In theory, DH and I could retire early. But what about health insurance? I would love to “downsize” my career for a bit, right now, but I know that being able to ramp up again is far from a guarantee.
We’ll probably keep life insurance on him longer than we otherwise would. We also should have pretty substantial savings by the time I retire, so I wouldn’t be destitute if I had to live off our savings – I just wouldn’t have as nice a lifestyle as I will if he’s alive and still working.
Not intended to be snarky: You just pay for health insurance, either by saving more or using Obamacare subsidies (assuming they still exist). This, of course, means you need to save more and work longer before you can retire.
When I looked at insurance that was still employer group rates but unsubsidized, it was something like 2000/month 10 years ago (needed to check for COBRA). I can’t imagine what it costs now. That’s like a part-time job in and of itself to pay for that.
I know it isn’t snark, but do some investigation and you’ll see what folks mean. When you aren’t attached to an employer in any way (including self-employed), getting decent coverage (because you’ll need that being older and may even have some health issues by then) without it equalling a considerable salary is the challenge. When my husband and I lost coverage through my employer (downsized and then ran through COBRA while dealign with cancer), my husband and I formed an LLC simply to be able to shop insurance and we still paid more than 2K every two weeks. The cost of insuring yourself with no employer, COBRA, or Medicare burns through savings like nothing else.
I definitely agree it is very expensive and am not saying that it isn’t or that it isn’t a major financial burden. It’s just the (expensive) answer to the question if nobody in your family is working and you can’t get Medicare yet.
I’m the 3:08 poster and would be eligible for group retiree health insurance through the university I work for. It’s quite a bit more expensive than employee health insurance but less than the marketplace (I would imagine).
I personally wouldn’t feel comfortable using this, but some states have income (not asset) based medicaid thresholds, and I definitely know quite well off individuals who have used that to qualify (taking all their “income” from investments in a single month of the year, since you can have 1 month over the eligibility threshold without penalty). It’s a thing for some silicon valley FIRE types — google “MAGI loophole”
Wow that sounds like a really dumb loophole that should be fixed.
Or it sounds like a great loophole that should be expanded?
I will be 51 when we’re done paying college tuition. We won’t be able to afford to retire then, but I would like to start doing as much travel and pursuing as many personal goals as possible while I still can. I don’t want to count on being healthy enough at 70 to be able to have all the fun I’ve been putting off for the past few decades, and for many of my goals I’m already awfully old to be getting started.
YMMV, but if you work til mid 60s or 70, I don’t see why you can’t have an active and travel-filled retirement?
My aunt and uncle A (75 and 78) just got back from a trip to Amsterdam. In the fall they took a trip to the Grand Tetons to hike.
My aunt and uncle B (both 73) just got back from a 2.5 week road trip in their pull behind camper, one of their stops was to a 5 day camper convention, where they met up with similarly aged friends.
Another uncle (74) spends his days babysitting grandchildren and playing in a tennis league.
Aunt B does back to back fitness classes (2 hours straight of working out) at her gym 4x a week.
Your family is doing really well! A lot of people in my family ended up with limited mobility already in their 60s.
While hiking at 78 may be incredible and rare, being really limited in your 60s is also quite rare
Being dead or severely limited by 75 is not at all rare.
If I look this up, the first stat I find is that 20% of people 65 and older have limited mobility. That sounds about right to me.
I hope I’ll do better if I can maintain access to better healthcare (in particular, better drugs, since long term prednisone can be really rough on people/bones).
They’re super lucky. My parents are 75 and still active and traveling (they’re going to Taiwan and on a luxury Mediterranean cruise this year) but I’m aware they’re just really lucky. Half my friends’ dads were dead before 75, and my FiL was permanently disabled by 75 and can no longer travel. And I don’t think diet and exercise has that much to do with it. My dad eats like crap and never exercises. Just dumb luck.
My parents are in their late 70s and just got back from a trip to South America. Was it a fancy package tour and my dad probably noped out of 50% of the walking excursions? Yes. But they’ve done a lot of traveling since their mid-60s when they retired. You don’t need to plan on a hard stop at 70.
You don’t need to plan a hard stop at any age (my husband has an aunt and uncle in their mid-80s who are still pretty mobile), but I think it’s naive to assume you’ll be active enough for travel at 75. It’s great if it happens, but for a lot of people it doesn’t. Realistically most people are only looking at 10 or so “good” years if they retire at 65.
This is so true. Just live your life. I have 4 grandparents. They lived to 62, 67, 85 and 96.
My kids’ grandparents are all still alive at 67, 68, 77 and 86 but the older two don’t travel at all anymore, despite being very wealthy. My same-age neighbor’s kids have only one grandparent left.
At some point a year or two ago, someone here mentioned a luxe resort in SW Virginia (or thereabouts). Not the Greenbriar, not The Homestead, not Blackberry Farm, but similar in luxe level and expense. Does anyone know what I am hazy on remembering? We have gone to the Greenbriar before but I’m looking for something else where I can do something besides lounge and eat.
Primland?
Yes! That’s it. How is it? Especially if you’ve been to the Greenbriar? GB was close to DC but we are in NC now.
So I only saw it through an acquaintance’s insta stories – she loves Auberge properties and went for an anniversary weekend. It looked beautiful but the couple is more the spa & wine type so I can’t pass along intel on more outdoorsy activities!
I have a friend who went to Primland. It looked nice from her photos, but I don’t think it’s as luxe as Blackberry Farm. I don’t think the Greenbrier or Homestead are really Blackberry Farm-level either. Those are all nice hotels, but Blackberry Farm is like $2k a night…
Yowza. What do you get for $2k/night? The Insta pictures I see are lovely, but I spent so much of COVID camping, that I am happy just to have basic luxe (Greenbriar?). Like NYAC in NYC is lovely and I adore the history of it but I am not sure I will ever see going over basic luxe spendy places (but what do I know, really? I grew up in Motel 6s).
The Greenbrier is not at all my idea of luxe, just overpriced and stuffy. The food is terrible, the decor is dated, and the whole place is kind of crumbling and sticky.
The base rates at Blackberry Farm include all meals and the other resorts in this discussion don’t include meals, unless you pay extra for a meal package. But yeah I think it’s incredibly overpriced, lovely though it seems. We looked into going for a short birthday getaway in May and the price was just insane ($1,900 a night before taxes and fees), even compared to other 5 star hotels. And I think that’s considered shoulder season!
Agreed. Blackberry Farm is a different level than those others.
One of the things I love about The Greenbriar is the cottages, so I don’t have to hear other people being loud when getting off the elevator, etc., etc. And partner can smoke cigars without annoying me. And you can have a fire in the fire place.
Any other places like that? Not an AirBNB place — too many 5-star reviews to be helpful and I am not into doing the housekeeping on vacation, especially if it is supposed to be luxe and relaxing.
Old Edwards Inn?
I realize you didn’t ask this, but as a couple who have been to Blackberry Farm 10 times and make it an annual trip, the other resorts do not compare. At BBF you get three (multi – course) Michelin Star level meals. Because they don’t take dining reservations, they don’t qualify for the star rating. It is a vacation focused on fine dining and wine (with some other luxuries along the way). For many people is it insanely expensive. I agree. It’s pricey. But it’s worth every damn penny. Have never had a bad stay there – never had a bad hour there.
We just got back from it a few weeks ago. We asked to stay a few extra nights. They said “sure, you might need to move rooms.” Fine – turns out they gave us a better rate and a better cottage. It was awesome.
What a cool suit! I wish they’d styled it with pumps though. What shoes would you wear with this? I am thinking it would be a great outfit for presenting in.
I’d wear loafer pumps with this.
Is there any need for lawyers without an immigration background to volunteer in this area? I feel so helpless lately and wish there was something I could do. I’m in house and we don’t have a pro bono program, and in the small city I’m in there aren’t a lot of opportunities for pro bono work.
Yes absolutely. Look into KIND
KIND just laid off 90% of their legal staff due to funding cuts. So there is both tremendous need but also quite limited ability to supervise, which you really do need in this field. If you speak a second language it is very useful – otherwise, a good area to focus on might be naturalization assistance, which many community groups focus on.
Thank you for volunteering.
I am donating to several organizations that are involved in the legal battles with the Trump administration.
Forgive if this double posts. My favorite right now is this dress:
https://www.macys.com/shop/product/eliza-j-plus-size-puffed-sleeve-3d-floral-shift-dress?ID=20784160
I own this one in a different print and it is super light weight and comfortable:
https://www.macys.com/shop/product/eliza-j-womens-one-shoulder-floral-print-ruched-gown?ID=21000304
Check out Dillards. They have a few tea length styles from Adrianne Papell that would be well-suited.
I also was surprised by what I found at Eloquii recently.
Just curious – has anyone tried acupuncture? Have you found it helpful?
I found it relaxing but not helpful
I’m so curious about people who found it relaxing. Do you not have a problem with needles generally? Or are these needles different?
I have some childhood trauma around needles and went through IVF, which is obviously a ton of needles. Someone recommended acupuncture for fertility and I thought I was going to have a panic attack just thinking about it. But maybe I’m being a big baby and should suck it up?
Not to whom you are responding but I never saw or feel the acu needles. They’re crazy thin. The whole thing is incredibly relaxing at least in part because you’re in a calm space without your phone.
I did it during IVF and the needles are tiny by comparison. Wasn’t at all similar.
Yes! Limited experience but I really liked it and it helped. I ve had a chronic SI joint issue and it was then causing my glute to basically seize up for days/weeks on end. No stretching or foam rolling helped but acu in the glute and lower back seriously helped. It was a strange but ultimately good feeling. I’m a convert.
oh! i may have this. did it feel like continual knots in your glutes?
Yes though I was more localized in one side. Very painful. The acu helped it release which then allowed the SI joint to respond better to chiro and PT exercises. At least this is my lay person interpretation of my experience ;)
OP here – I have a similar issue that this is helpful to know!
I only did it during my pregnancies, when I was very overdue. I found it relaxing, cannot say whether it was helpful or not.
+1 – it did not help; baby was pried out at 42 weeks thanks to drugs and is now 13 and has never in his life been in a hurry.
I did dry needling as part of physical therapy (the Western medicine version) and found it really helpful.
I have done it at two different points in my life. Once when I had moved to a new city and seasonal allergies were killing me. A coworker suggested acupuncture and I was so desperate that I got over my hatred of needles and tried it. (100 tiny needles in my face!) I went weekly for 6 weeks and I have no idea how it works but I haven’t had severe allergies in the 15 years since.
I went a second time when I was having persistent back pain despite PT and massage. That didn’t work as well, but some of the relaxation element just came from lying prone in a dark room for an hour.
Unlike chiropractic care, I think there’s relatively low risk to try (the needles are really small and don’t go in deeply).
OP here – interesting that it worked on allergies.
Yes. I have been once for a back issue and once for a shoulder. Both cleared up in one session. Others in my family have seen the acupuncturist (same one) for migraine (miraculous), back issues and probably a couple of other things I don’t remember right now. I sent a client to my guy for her back, and he fixed her as well. Our acupuncturist was trained in China. I don’t know if that makes a difference, as he’s the only one I’ve ever seen.
OP here – interesting! Yes, I decided to see someone who was trained in China. I’m curious to see how it goes.
Yes, I have been getting acupuncture roughly once a month for a year or so. It was suggested to me by a friend, she was referred by her doctor to help with nausea from chemotherapy. I started treatment because I clench my jaw and grind my teeth while sleeping, even with a night guard. My teeth are somewhat misaligned, and it’s doubtful they’ll ever be perfect aligned.
The acupuncture immediately helped with less grinding, and eliminated waking up with a headache. The doctor also mostly released a knot I’ve had between my neck and shoulder for years. Now I go for maintenance because my particular issue isn’t fixable.
I sleep better after treatment, and am a little more relaxed, though that might be because the treatment is relaxing. FWIW, I hate going to the doctor but am very willing to have acupuncture. What impressed me the most is I had a bruised rib that I didn’t tell the acupuncture doctor about. When I got into my car after the session, I realized my rib didn’t hurt nearly as much. My MD relative said we don’t know how a lot of western medical treatments work either.
OP here – wow! That is fascinating!
Since I’m not a candidate for botox, my dentist suggested massage therapy or acupuncture for bruxism. I’ve been meaning to try acupuncture; I’m glad it helped you.
My mom had me try it in my teens for some skin rashes. It wasn’t uncomfortable, but it also didn’t do anything as far as I could tell.
Strangely, years later, I went into a shop in Chinatown to see if they had any ointment like Tiger Balm for a different skin issue. The lady took one look at me, asked me if I was interested in acupuncture, I said sure why not. She did a couple of needles, then handed me a brown bag of what looked like twigs and smelled medicinal. My husband convinced me to throw away the bag of whatever was in it, but we got pregnant with our first child not long after.
This morning’s thread about 60+ men doing all the appellate arguments (not true in my experience) reminded me of a story some of you might find interesting. I’m GenX in my 50s. A few years ago, I handled an argument in the 9th Circuit. All three judges on the panel were women. The bailiff was a woman. Opposing counsel was a woman. All attorneys sitting at counsel table during the argument were women. It was cool. I’m looking forward to the day when this is no longer a noteworthy occurrence.
The only old men I know still working in firms where credit sharing is a thing are guys with several rounds of ex-wives and children that they are supporting. I know plenty of solos, but in BigLaw, many people get pushed out or put back to income partners / counsel as they work less (but plenty are worker bees still). I barely know any women at any seniority level, so those older people are not sucking up opportunities for people. But retiree medical is not a thing for law firms, so you are basically forced to work until you are 65, so that is likely a huge reason that people stay on.
The generation ahead of me had retiree medical AND pensions and you can bet they didn’t stick around once the figured out the math. Now, with no pensions and no retiree medical, I get why people stay until at least 65.
I was the OP of that thread and I’m very happy that there’s much more diversity these days! I share your experience about being in an all-woman courtroom multiple times including most recently yesterday. I’m shocked that I’ve seen so much change — I thought that was supposed to have already happened — but I’m very happy that change is here even if it’s late. I hope that I will forever feel old, and never again current, to have stories like the one I shared this morning – that as a summer associate I sat through an entire day of appellate arguments and not one woman, POC, or person under 50 took the podium. Hopefully those days stay in the increasingly distant past.
When there are nine!
love it!
Saw a post about Guy Fieri requiring his kids to get 2 degrees (bachelor + grad) before they get their inheritance.
If you HAD to get a masters, in any subject, practicality or earning potential don’t matter, what would you get a masters in?
And obviously paid in full + expenses paid during school. So no concerns whatsoever
If I had rich parents I would be a professional student. Always wanted a PhD in some kind of philosophy. Try my hand at theoretical mathematics of some flavor. Maybe I’d get an MBA too to feel like I was getting some sort of real world exposure.
+1 I loved being a student. Would happily do it forever if my parents were paying and I didn’t have to worry about saving for retirement.
Same. I’d get an MFA in my primary instrument, MPH, maybe public administration/policy, definitely something history related. Also possibly chemistry or biology, but I’d need to take some undergrad prerequisites first because my poli sci/English major certainly didn’t cover all of those.
Anything at the University of Hawaii at Manoa or maybe University of Miami. Or something abroad in a pleasant location. History is easy to me and interesting, so maybe that.
tbh I don’t really like school, I like working on my own projects. So if I had to go get a master’s I’d do a thesis based one (rather than course based) and I’d just put together a thesis on my current professional work, I bet I could crank it out in a month.
If time and money were no object and I’d just gotten my bachelor’s, I would get a master’s in music performance. Then a PhD in econ and another in theology.
Degrees I actually have: Bachelor’s in music performance, MPP, JD.
I wanted to get an MA in Latin but didn’t know anything about financial aid and thus didn’t go. I would also love to get one in Comparative Literature (epic poems: French, Latin & English). Otherwise I’ll probably get an AA in accounting one of these days.
Isn’t that announcement going to harm his kids’ prospects for graduate school admission, at least in good programs?
No? Why would the school care if the kids are qualified?
His kids will be fine. Schools love to hand the children of rich celebs who may buy a building if they’re happy with their kid’s experience.
Not at all. Why would it?
Easy: a Masters in Art Conservation from one of the four US programs: Delaware, SUNY Buffalo, NYU or UCLA. It’s a highly competitive field with an extended apprenticeship period and super low pay. Basically you need another source of money to pursue it, but it was always a dream.
OMG, Winterthur. Heck yes.
Being a research scientist was a pipe dream of mine that I gave up in a quest for stability, so if I had an inheritance to fall back on when deciding what to study, I would absolutely have gotten into the sciences. Biology, ecology, or medical research.
Human genetics, Classical Civilizations, or some sort of horticulture something. I have varied interests, clearly.
When I was in school I met a scholar working in paleoethnobotany and a classicist who did something highbrow about western medicine and our relationship to our bodies. I think a lot of people with varied interests can end up somewhere in ancient studies. No geneticists though!
MFA, either in something like ceramics or a program that would let me do “found object” art. Second choice, masters in art history.
Some kind of history or literature if I never had to use it to make money. Maybe something to do with the arts. I would at least want to be able to enjoy reading books as part of the process.
History. Love the subject, and it’s always timely to see what’s gone on before now, and to learn there’s very little that is new under the sun.