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Thursday’s Workwear Report: Mila Top

A woman wearing a blue printed long sleeve blouse and denim pants

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

I fell into a Boden rabbit hole the other day when looking for gifts for my 7-year-old fashionista niece. (I’m pretty sure this tulle skirt is going to be a hit.) Their adult selections can be a bit twee for some folks, but if you’re in the market for prints, they’ve always got a fantastic selection.

This sapphire blue blouse has a beautiful floral print, and the tiny pompom trim adds a really fun detail. If you’d prefer a solid, it also comes in five colors, including some lovely jewel tones. 

The top is $80 and comes in sizes 0-20/22.

Sales of note for 12.5

394 Comments

  1. I’m postpartum and looking for easy breakfast ideas I can make very quickly and eat while pumping. I’m thinking of maybe going back to “German inspired” – what I are studying abroad and traveling, so simple bread rolls, cold cuts, good cheese, sliced hard boiled eggs on a roll with cucumber and cheese, things like that. Any other ideas in that vein? I’d be interested in incorporating more nutrient-dense options (more Scandinavian – perhaps smoked salmon?) but too tired to really brainstorm. Norway has sky-high breastfeeding rates – what are those women eating for breakfast?!

    1. What about overnight chia pudding made with milk and chia seeds? You can stir in peanut butter or fruit.

      1. Costco has great dupes of Starbucks egg bites. It once sold the Starbucks branded item but switched to store brand. I suspect that the ones that are now sold are coming from the same source as Starbucks.

        1. The Three Bridges brand is also a great dupe. I used to get them at Costco, but haven’t been in a while so not sure if they still sell them if they have their store brand now.

    3. Toast with peanut butter or oatmeal were my usual breakfasts when my kids were babies.

    4. Frozen breakfast burritos? I love the Red’s turkey sausage ones which I get from Costco

      1. Just coming here to say the same thing. They are my go-to gift for new parents. Can be re-heated from frozen in the microwave and eaten with one hand. Infinitely customizable to what you have on hand and/or personal taste.

        1. One thing I should have mentioned is we don’t have a microwave. I know, I know, but our apartment is tiny and there is NOWHERE to put it. We heat things in the oven but it’s not quick enough for early mornings.

          1. might be a good moment to buy a small one–you deserve it! It can sit on top of the burners of your stove on a cutting board, and moved as necessary.

    5. I liked simple smoothies with protein powder (usually banana/milk/vanilla powder/frozen peaches, for me). It could be made and sipped with one hand and no crumbs falling on the baby.

    6. If you want to eat like a Norwegian, you’d have bread and brown cheese for breakfast.

      1. My dad lived in Denmark and kept the habit of kippers/herring on toast. Probably not for everyone, but fatty fish is great for your health. I would do toast with cream cheese, cucumbers and salmon personally.

      2. Is that brown cheese a breakfast food there? I’ve seen it but was under the impression it was more of a snack thing.

        1. I think it’s both. But my Norwegian friends definitely eat it for breakfast and I saw it served at breakfast at restaurants.

      3. Now I am craving brown cheese (which is impossible to find in my city!). Thanks.

    7. I embraced second breakfast a few hours after first breakfast, which was usually one of those RX bars. Super easy and portable.

      1. RX bars are great for this. With both my babies, I would eat at least one RX bar every night when I woke to feed them and was so hungry I could gnaw my arm off.

      2. Is second breakfast the same thing as elevenses for the Brits in the audience?

        I read a lot of British detective novels, and I can never get these things straight, including whether tea is a break to have a cup of tea, cake is often mentioned, or the evening meal

        1. Second breakfast is eaten by hobbits, who also eat elevenses, lunch, afternoon tea, and dinner.

    8. Instant oatmeal. A certain flavor of oatmeal still reminds me of nursing (fifteen years later!).

      1. +1 for sure! I nursed/pumped through 3 and oatmeal really ramped up milk production not to mention it’s easy. First baby I did homemade oatmeal bites. By the third, it was instant oatmeal all the way!

    9. Oatmeal is great for milk production. I ate a lot of hot instant oatmeal either plain or with a banana or diced apples tossed in. Favorite cold option was greek yoghurt with oatmeal/granola/dried fruit or nuts tossed in.

    10. Cup of Jo had an egg sandwich article yesterday that could be good for make ahead egg McMuffin type things.

    11. When I was newly postpartum and needed food immediately upon waking, I made baked oatmeal squares with lots of extra fiber and protein boosts (hemp hearts, flax seeds, nuts and berries) and heated up a square in the microwave or toaster oven every morning and sometimes in the middle of the night.

    12. Sounds like you’re looking for whole, hearty foods.

      Hard boil a dozen eggs at a time; they keep for a while. Brown bread. Real butter you have kept out overnight so it is soft. Fruits: berries when they are in season, an apple when they are not. Sliced cheeses. Smoked salmon and other cold cured meats. A bowl of Skyr or another thick yogurt with a jam of your choice (Lingonberry if you really want to lean into the Scandi lifestyle).

      Some combo of the above was my Scandinavian great-grandma’s daily breakfast spread for us when we slept over with her. She made her brown bread, but I’m sure you can buy it. Everything else was just a “take it out of the fridge and let them put it in a plate” thing.

      You’ve made me crave this sort of breakfast spread again, so thank you…off to see if her brown bread recipe was passed down.

      1. This sounds so good. I had posted about breakfast a few days ago so I’m also looking for ideas and this would work.

        1. My mom doesn’t have it. Hoping against hope an aunt does, but my mom’s the baker of that generation, so odds aren’t good…

      3. I actually am a mix of French Canadian and Native American, so not Norwegian, but there’s definitely a Norwegian influence in the states where my grandparents settled. We always have a stick of butter on the counter in a butter dish.

        Whether we use it for cooking or for a spread, we use it quickly enough that there’s never ever been a problem.

        Well, except for when the cat figured out how to open the butter dish in the middle of the night. A new, heavier, butter dish solved that problem.

        I can’t stand butter straight out of the fridge.

    13. Common Swedish breakfast ideas are:
      Fil (kefir or Greek yoghurt can substitute) topped with raspberry jam, apple sauce, cinnamon, honey, berries, nuts or seeds
      Open faced sandwich – bread with grains and seeds are popular with butter and a slice of cheese topped with cucumber or sliced pepper to add crisp. Can also add turkey, salami etc
      Eggs – hard-boiled rather than scrambled. Season with salt (or Kalles caviar!)
      Oatmeal – plain with milk and the same toppings as the Greek yoghurt above.

    14. I would consider oatmeal. The quickest way for me to make it without a microwave is to put it in a small pot, add milk – for me, that would be 1/2-2/3 cup, same amount of milk (consider whole milk as well). Turn on maximum heat, stir regularly until you see it just bubble up, remove from heat and let stand for maybe 1-2 min.
      While I’m doing this I make coffee and wash some berries.
      The whole process takes maybe 5 minutes max. You can boil a bunch of eggs to add more protein.

    15. I am obsessed with Fishwife brand canned smoked salmon. I had a tiny bit of mayo with plain yogurt and eat it on crispbread. I tried buying the much cheaper Trader Joe’s canned smoked salmon and it does not compare.

    16. Norwegian here. Some things Norwegians actually eat:

      Open top whole meal sandwiches with butter and:
      – mackerel in tomato sauce
      – boiled eggs and mayonnaise or fish roe
      – ham and cheese and tomato
      – gouda cheese and peppers
      – blue cheese and jam
      – salami and cucumber
      – tomato and mayonnaise
      – liver pate and cucumber
      – scrambles eggs and smoked salmon
      – eggs and avocado
      – nutella
      – brown cheese and jam

      Fruit and milk, unsweetened coffee.

      Boiled or fried eggs, yogurt, bircher muesli with kefir milk, oatmeal with milk and apple sauce.

    17. Well, I think the social safety net has a lot to do with Norway’s breastfeeding rates …

      But in the US … I loved smitten kitchen’s ‘thick chewy granola bars’ postpartum. I added always added ground flax seeds, chopped prunes, and chocolate chips, but then also added a variety of nuts and dried fruits (cherry cashew was a great combo). They were a one handed snack powerhouse.

      1. Oh, the social safety net is definitely huge, but a lot of staple foods in the Norwegian diet are super nutrient-dense as well, which is especially beneficial postpartum.

    19. These days (my son is seven months old) I do overnight oats and/or chia pudding, but more immediately postpartum I would buy a quiche from a local bakery and my spouse would heat up a big slice for me in the airfryer while I nursed first thing in the morning. Hearty and cozy!

    21. Given all the hard boiled egg suggestions, I cannot recommend enough the DASH egg cooker available from Amazon for under $20. It makes hard boiling eggs soooooo easy. My husband was initially skeptical because hard-boiling eggs is not that hard, but now he’s a convert!

      1. Yes, it’s genuinely easier to get them just right and great not to involve the stove top. I was skeptical but bought it on sale after seeing it recommended here and it sees a lot of use (and helped me up my egg consumption which was a goal since I needed to eat more choline).

    1. I think that that is a sign from the universe to get a tulle skirt. FWIW, I randomly bought one and it’s been surprisingly versatile. And mine is long, so no one knows I’m wearing leggings underneath with my boots. It’s helpful for a freezing lady.

      2. Can you share which skirt you have? I am looking right now. The frilly one from Anthro looks cute so far.

    2. I agree with versatility. I have a powder pink tulle skirt that I reach for often, and can dress it up or down with sneakers, boots, chunky sweaters, or a plain fitted T-shirt in the summer.

  3. How do you know if a moisturizer is a good fit for you? I don’t normally use moisturizer, just facial cleanser. Decided to start though with it being so dry out and now my face has several pimples. I also did eat chocolate chip cookies this week though, which is uncommon for me, and my face is sensitive to sugar.

    1. does it say that it’s non comedogenic? that’s the first thing… unless you’re using a body lotion on your face anything meant as a facial moisturizer shouldn’t be giving you pimples. if you think the sugar would have done it i think that’s the more likely culprit.

    2. Here I am wondering how on earth you got through life without moisturizing your face…

      It really depends on your skin type, your needs, and also your budget. Good basic drugstore brands include Cerave and Cetaphil. Their products are gentle and suitable for most skin types. Make sure you use SPF during the day!

      1. I didn’t need moisturizer at all until my mid 20s and then only in the winter. Some people have really oily skin!

      2. Following this question with interest. I begrudgingly use VaniCream in the dead of winter when my face gets really dry and still despise how heavy and greasy that moisturizer feels, in spite of it being one of the most highly recommended “lightweight” options I have run across.

        2. Try the Trader Joe’s Nourish oil-free moisturizer. It’s my daily for oily middle-aged skin, but I’m going to switch to the Vanicream when I head to the East Coast for the holidays.

        3. I have oily skin which turn super dry and sensitive in winter. Also dislike feeling of heavy creams, but they are the only thing that works for me. I have bought Geek&Gorgeous Happy Barrier on a whim and was shocked how moisturizing, nourishing and lightweight if felt on skin. Might be worth a try.

    3. YMMV, but I find that my skin breakouts are more closely linked to my hormonal cycle than anything I put on my face. For a couple of days in the week before my period, I get zits and find myself craving more sugar than usual. It might not be the moisturizer.

    4. I just use what my mom always used, and that’s worked out fine – maybe ask yours?

        1. Mine has no similarity to my mom’s but the same products my grandma used work great for me. It was a harsh realization, along with the day I bought the same Ferragamo pumps she always wore.

          1. I also now use the same moisturizer as my grandmother. Clinique dramatically different moisturizing GEL, which is basically the only thing that both hydrates my acne prone skin and doesn’t break me out. And while I thought of it as ‘fancy,’ it’s always on sale and then costs as much as nitrogen stuff at Target.

    6. Some moisturizers make me break out, and others irritate my skin. When I want a new moisturizer I buy several mini sizes from Sephora and try each for several days.

      For isolated winter dry spots the best thing I have found is the Josie Maran argan oil. Surprisingly, it does not make me break out.

    7. You are getting odd responses
      I have oily skin and have always used moisturizer only a few times a year. When I do, I use CeraVe, which is noncomedogenic, very light, and inexpensive. Those are the three criteria I need and this is what my dermatologist recommended years ago.

      1. +1

        Similar. My Derm always recommended CeraVe and Cetaphil. Now I use Cetaphil facial cleanser and moisturizer (buy in large size at Costco), and then add CeraVe sunblock.

        Using sunblock in these early years is key for minimizing skin cancers later, and aging skin always.

      2. I used to have oily skin and it took about a month of daily moisturizing to normalize. It was extra greasy when I first started moisturizing but after a few weeks I threw away my oil blotting sheets.

    8. Try a gel style moisturizer next. Neutrogena Hydro boost would be a good drugstore pick for someone prone to pimples. I personally would go for the unscented. You never know if it’s the moisturizer making you break out or the added fragrance, so why gamble?

      1. +1 to Neutrogena Hydro Boost water gel moisturizer. That’s the only one that works for me without making me too oily or making be break out. Bonus is that it works as a primer under makeup, too.

      2. The Neutrogena Hydro Boost Night Pressed Serum is my go-to for both day and night (adding sunscreen if I am leaving the house). When my skin gets really really dry, I use Vanicream.

      3. My daily moisturizer lately is the Trader Joe’s gel sunscreen/moisturizer, which I believe is a dupe for the Supergoop version. It’s nice and light, IMO.

    9. I use CeraVe PM, and for extra hydration layer a hyaluronic acid serum underneath (I use The Ordinary).
      I use a separate sunscreen.

    10. I have combination skin and a tendency towards acne. If you aren’t using too many actives (acids, retinol) on your face, then generally you are probably alright to continue with only occasional moisturizer use. I would recommend a light gel moisturizer (the Gel Boost is a good one) from the drugstore. The Ordinary has one with beta glucan that is super light as well. You might want to look for centella products, as that can assist with calming down pimples and is gentle for sensitive skin.

      Generally unless you are actively drying your skin out with another product, moisturizer won’t help the pimples. In that instance, you will want an BHA to help dry out and calm the pimples.

    11. Moisturizers with SPF included always make me break out. Every time I try something new, I end up getting rid of it if it has SPF. YMMV.

  4. Does anyone wear / love those ballet-style wrap sweaters? I want to love the idea, but I feel that between friction and weird not-all-the-way-long-long-sleeves, things will be bunchy and weird and it would just sit in my closet.

    1. Yes – I still wear an older AT true wrap. Mine is long sleeves and no bunching but they are meant to be more fitted. Where are you seeing them? I could use more.

      1. Wool& has a wrap sweater called the Natalia and they are having a promo right now. Lots of colors. And I do love a wool blend. My idea wardrobe is ballet-core but I have an office job and bad feet (bad feet is very ballerina though).

        1. i had a masectomy and now have perfect pert boobies that don’t move so could wear them now but i never would have/ could have before. agreed they move and don’t stay in place and you definitely would need something underneath. twice bought them in the in past and yes, they sat. just not easy to wear.

    2. i love the look and had one as a teen, but now with the stomach i have they would not at all be flattering on me

    3. Not me, I love my babies, but they left behind a little apron of flesh below my natural waist line, so that’s never gonna be a style for me.

    4. I love them but only the faux ones. The real ones are a mess for me, coming undone, wardrobe malfunction waiting to happen. I love the faux ones that are sewn shut on the side and don’t have dangly strings.

  5. Morning!
    * Shout out to the metalhead from the thread “what did people tell you you’d grow out of but didn’t?” (hope that’s a decent paraphrase) Would love to discuss or have a concert buddy!
    * What was the easy low/no alcohol drink someone mentioned – it was half ginger beer and half … something else.
    * From last night’s Nissan talk – what is wrong with Infinitis? I know it was an opinion but curious.
    * Any experience with Woolovers? Kicking around some lambswool.
    Thanks!

    1. Good experience with Woolovers here! I have some sweaters that are 6 or so years old and still going strong.

      1. I have one lambs wool and a few merino/cashmere. I’m only one year in but I’m extremely happy with them, I do wear a blouse under. The lambs wool, of course, are thicker, warmer, and a bit rougher than merino/cashmee

    2. Hi! The mocktail was mine! Half ginger beer, half sparkling apple cider (the fake champagne bottles at the grocery store 😉). Add whiskey/bourbon if desired.

    3. idk about Infinitis but Altimas have such a reputation (um, well-earned based on observation) of being the awful aggressive driver, missing hubcap, dark tinted window, fake plate-mobiles around the Philly area that I would never consider one for myself, lol.

      1. Ha ha that’s not a stereotype where I live but I love hearing it. It’s so specific.

        1. Altimas are also known to be the most dangerous vehicle used in fraud and intentional accidents: they’re cheap cars which can be easily bought, cheaply made, and easy to repair (can be fixed after a crash and sent back out on the road)

      2. I have noticed that a little bit in LA. The too-dark windows on a sedan around here usually mean, “incredibly aggressive driver who will cut everyone off and try and rip through traffic at super high speed.”

    4. If you’re in Canada I’d totally be up for a concert buddy or happy to chat if you’re elsewhere. I keep up with modern releases but listen back to the early 2000s too. 2024 AOTY contenders for me are Eidola, LMTF, and Being as an Ocean (I listened to the big releases too, BMTH was solid). Let me know if that’s your jam and I can make a burner email :)

    5. I have a non alc mocktail my mom called “gingerberries” half ginger ale or beer and half cranberry cocktail it’s delish!

    6. I was the one crabbing about Infinitis. I really, really wanted to like them, but after leasing one I was through with the brand. It was really fun to drive for about 18 months, then something went funny with the suspension and there was something about the alignment that just didn’t work. The internal controls (seat memory, etc.) either didn’t keep working or started to look worn after pretty mild use. I’m much happier with my Lexus.

  6. Here is another dumb high school class question. Everyone pushes AP classes. They were good for me to place out of annoying survey science classes and skip to doing research and to have a double major in two useless humanities degrees at a SLAC. I recall people who were pre-med retaking classes because they wanted legit Bio, Chem, Calc college classes on their transcript when they were applying to med school vs just getting a 5 on a high school biology class and getting the credits. It’s been a few years, but now I’m thinking of med school and wondering where I need to start rebuilding my transcript. I need to take organic chem anyway but should I start with intro to biology classes also even though I didn’t take them in college because I got 2 semesters of credit for a 5 on AP biology? It seems to random years later, and med school admissions is a crapshoot anyway (but I have a local state U for making up credits and a local option for PA school which I’d be OK with as a fallback as well as BA-RN-advanced nursing options). The bug just bit me late and since I’m not a current student, I can’t get advising or anything, plus I’m non-traditional at this point due to age.

    1. Call your undergrad career office. Most of them absolutely advise alums on stuff like this. Post-bac med school prep is its whole own thing.

      1. i work in career services and definitely reach out to your undergrad alma mater, but at my school it would be via the office of academic advising rather than careers.

      2. I’m the professor below- you can ask your alumni premed advisor about general med school admissions advice, but unfortunately the advice is going to be really different from school to school because of the way different schools handle their biology course sequences. You really need to talk to the advisors at the school where you’ll be taking classes, and you should at least be able to get some advice about how necessary it is to take intro bio at that specific university. I’m not sure whether non-degree students are eligible for premed advising at the university you’ll be attending, but if they are, you should definitely talk to that person too.

      3. My Alma mater has a specific post-bac program. If there is an equivalent at colleges in OP’s area, I would call them directly.

    2. Also, know your schools. My public school AP Bio and Chem classes were much more rigorous than what the flagship state U I went to put their students through.

    3. So I’m a biology professor, but not a premed advisor. My advice on this could go in either direction depending on how your university handles that class and how strong of student you are. Intro bio typically has some of the lowest grades of any classes at the university, so if you can get out of taking it, your GPA will probably benefit. At some universities, it’s also a terrible class, mostly taught by adjuncts and designed to arbitrarily weed out as many students as possible, especially the wannabe premeds. However, if you’re going back to school after a break, you might benefit from reviewing the subject matter, as AP Bio in high school was probably a long time ago. Also, at all the universities I’ve attended or worked at, you can’t actually place out of intro bio with AP credits because the material isn’t the same (you just get generic course credits). They’ve all handled it differently, but intro bio is generally designed to introduce you to biology at that university in a multi-course sequence that approaches biology differently than a high school class and also introduces you to all of the resources at that university. Even if you could skip it, you’d be at a disadvantage in later classes because you wouldn’t have learned things your peers would know.

    4. Hi, I was you about 10 years ago. I’d taken Bio AP in high school, gotten a humanities degree, and then decided when I was about 28 that I actually wanted to be a dentist. (spoiler alert, I am still not a dentist) A few thoughts:

      1. If you’re near a State U, they may have a program specifically for non-traditional students who want to prepare for med school. Just in case you’re in Maryland — University of Maryland and Johns Hopkins both have these. Check those out first, and talk to the advisors. They will have the best recommendations on what you need to take to have a decent shot at med school admission. Aside from taking the classes, you’ll need to think about how to get some clinical experience or get some good exposure to healthcare fields.

      2. I’d take the biology class unless you really need to save time and money by skipping it. First of all, it’s fun and interesting, secondly, it’s easier to start with intro biology to get your science brain working again rather than jumping straight into organic chemistry.

      Good luck!

      1. I’ll just add that even though I didn’t end up following through all the way to dental school (for Reasons, but essentially I picked kids over a career change), the post-bac program was really great. I loved the coursework & my fellow students, and the advising was excellent. I use zero organic chemistry or microbiology in my life, but no regrets that I took the classes.

    5. There are programs exactly for this — where you take all the prereqs for med school. A friend did one and is now a successful doctor. Google post bacc premed programs.

      1. Good to know. I thought that those were just a cash grab by universities and med school is so much $ already. Like I hate feeling that I am bleeding $ but maybe it’s just better to do what gets you into med school. Ugh.

    6. Probably the best person to answer your question is an advisor or admissions person at a post-bac program.

      FWIW, my probably-pre-med kid is taking a bunch of AP classes, not so much to skip stuff in college but because those are the most rigorous classes offered at her large public high school. The school doesn’t like offering accelerated or honors-type classes because they see it as inequitable (even though anyone can take them). It’s also more work for the administration to offer differentiated classes because they have to schedule several kinds of core classes instead of just making everyone take the same core class.

    7. Definitely consult actual admissions experts, but if you never took a real anatomy class, you might want to just to get the background ahead of covering the material even more deeply in med school.

      Also… do you know any doctors? I wonder if you could chat with your local doctors or hospital and see if they have any availability to let you shadow. That’s something high school and college kids can link into and might help you figure out if you really want to make this pivot.

      1. Absolutely talk to actual healthcare professionals before you go down this path, and get experience shadowing, etc concurrently with your classes. The fact that you said med school, or PA, or RN/advanced nursing makes me think you need to explore the practical reality of these jobs some more because MD vs nursing is very different in terms of the day-to-day and what strengths they play to.

        It sounds like you’re pretty early in this “thinking of med school” process, but I can’t emphasize enough how important it is to have experience in an actual hospital or clinic. Successful prereqs and a decent MCAT score will not be enough, you have to show that you’ve thought this all the way through and know what you’re getting into before a med school will invest in you.

    8. As someone who used to sit on a medical school admissions committee, the AP classes won’t count for anything. You need actual college courses on your transcript for all those prerequisites.

  7. Sisters weekend in Boston and hoping for two restaurant recs:

    1. Saturday night near TD Garden (walking distance if possible) Can’t get into Scampo – any others nearby that you would recommend? Want something on the nicer end.

    2. Sunday morning breakfast or brunch – we are staying on Newbury Street.

    Thanks ladies!

    1. dinner – Bricco in the North End. Brunch – Contessa or Faccia a Facia (though all are italian so pick your poison).

    2. Someone is going to recommend Contessa for brunch. Don’t do it. Great for dinner or drinks (though personally I prefer The Street Bar) but their brunch is insanely overpriced for what it is: just sort of fine.

    3. For breakfast/brunch, you may consider the Trident Cafe. Nothing fancy, but it’s one of my old favorites.

      1. And it’s still such a lovely bookstore! I went there over the summer and it was just as much fun as the 90s.

    4. Maybe more casual than what you’re looking for but for breakfast: Tatte (go to the one in the Hancock Building, not the one on Boylston St to help with crowds) – for pastries, shakshukka, eggs, etc; Greystone for coffee and pastries; Flour is similar vibe as well. The Buttery in South End if you’re more of a breakfast sandwich person (the Buttery Annex on Clarendon St in particular for breakfast sandwiches, much faster than the main location). If you’re more of the classic diner type and up for a walk, I LOVE Charlie’s on Columbus. For good pancakes but a bit of a wait, Paramount on Charles St. Bakey if you want delicious babka and bourekas.

  8. Woke up with one really puffy under-eye (the other one is fine). Could be an allergic reaction to something, but I can’t think what. Any suggestions for a quick fix?

    2. Hard boil an egg. Pop it out of the water into a damp washcloth. Use that to massage your eye.

        1. Yup! My eye doctor’s suggestion. An egg is just the right size and shape and holds its heat.

        2. This is what I use every time I have a stye, at the rec of my eye doctor. You can also microwave a potato but the egg is reusable with a fresh washcloth each time. It holds the heat much longer than a washcloth alone and feels nice to roll around

    3. This happened to me once! Half of my face was puffy! Glad to get the egg recommendation here for next time. It went away in a day or so.

    4. My doctor recommended black tea bags, but cold. You soak them in cold water, squeeze as much out as you can, and then lay down and put them on your closed eyes like a cold compress. Something about the black tea helps reduce puffiness. You’ll see a lot of eye creams containing caffeine for this reason.

  9. I just moved to a cold snowy place after living in warm places for most of my adult life (I grew up and went to college in frigid places). I’m in need of more winter footwear, especially something easy to slip on to take the trash out or run a quick errand. Needs to be reasonably waterproof, but I’d prefer something lighter than a boot. I’m looking at the Merrell jungle mocs, but if anyone has suggestions for something more attractive, but still practical, I’d love to hear them! I have triangle feet (wider toe, narrow heels), so I have a hard time with shoes without laces due to heel slippage, but Merrells generally fit me well.

    1. Same type of feet, and Sorel always fits me well. They have a lot of good boot/shoe hybrids.

    2. I say this with complete humility, but fleece lined slip on crocs are my go-to. I wouldn’t wear them in slick weather but they’re very grippy and perfect for taking the trash out.

      1. No shade here… my version of this is the Glerups rubber sole slipper boot. Grocery store runs and all.

    3. Get some yak tracks too. 2 pairs so you can keep them on your “run outside for a sec” shoes from Nov to March – or whenever sidewalks stop icing up.

    5. Northface Thermoball Traction bootie. 100% not attractive, but very warm and great traction as the name suggests. I also kept yak tracks on my winter boots after falling on snow/ice on my stomach while 6 months pregnant. Again, 100% not attractive, but 100% effective.

    6. Dankso Paisley or Petunia. Kind of a hiking shoe look with lots of support. You might have to size up in these.

    7. Have a look at La Canadienne’s shoe and mule offerings. Note that not all are waterproof or water resistant. I have a several years’ old shearling lined low wedge mule that works perfectly for a slip on to walk the dogs or run to the store that they have most years but I’m not seeing it at the moment. There is a block heel shearling lined mule though. Having just looked at their offerings I am about to order the shearling lined water resistant suede sneaker.

        1. I did not know that about Aquatalia and now I’m sad. May I recommend Andre Assous for water proof/resistant shoes and boots. I have a pair of absolutely kick ass waterproof black suede pumps with a lug sole (!) from Andre Assous from several years ago.

    8. Merrill’s encore ice. Replace the insole with a nice wool one. I love these so much. They have a bit of a grip for ice and are warm enough to take the dog out for a quick walk etc.

  10. I’ve just finished a long push and stressful deadline-heavy period at work. I am worn out, yet simultaneously wired. I don’t need to be working nearly as quickly or with as much urgency as I have been for the last several months. But I still feel anxious and keyed up, even though I no longer have a reason to be. I hate this feeling. I will be able to take off some time as the holidays get closer, but what can I do in the meantime to start feeling better? It probably doesn’t help that I go straight from this period into planning for the holidays.

    1. You’re “high” on adrenaline and stress. You need to help your nervous system and body calm back down into a normal state. Think of it as similar to how you help your body reset to a new time zone after an international flight halfway around the world: get natural light. Get outside, Starting now, go back to a normal rhythm of eating/sleeping/work, even though your body doesn’t feel like it. Etc.

      1. The Burnout (Emily Nagowski) book does a really good job of offering strategies for this.
        Also play some Tetris. I read somewhere that Tetris can help with acute stress, calming an overstimulated nervous system. I cannot play Tetris because it’s like a drug to me, but others probably can.

    2. For me, that’s aggressive exercise right after work. I eat some protein and carbs and go do an hour of hiking/swimming/cycling.
      It gets me to end the work day on time (now that I can!) and switch gears while burning off the nervous “I should be doing something!” energy.

    4. Try going to a hot yoga class after work. That really turns off my brain and sends my body into relax mode.

    5. I got out of a long, stressful, deadline-heavy period at work a few weeks ago. To get out of that jittery feeling, I focused on taking walks, yoga, and meditation for a couple of weeks. I also tackled a long-term, not-deadline-intensive project at work that I’ve been wanting to do for over a year but haven’t had time for and worked on that just during work hours. Oh, and my husband and I threw a big dinner party, which was a joyful, connecting experience and also used up a lot of physical energy.

    6. I hate to say this, but the best way for me to get off an adrenaline high is to get my heart rate up through activity. Can you walk up a hill a couple of times a day? You don’t have to go to the gym and sweat it out, just get your heart rate up for other reasons. And then, hopefully it’ll come back down to earth

    8. I hate baths but they have always helped me reset in these scenarios. Baths and exercise. Do you have a good massage therapist?

  11. It’s been quite a week and I’m going to invite girlfriends over to watch a movie on our big projector screen Friday night. What cozy comfort movie would you want to see (assume we have every streaming service known to man). Bonus if you’re in your 40s and have the same cultural movie touch points as us. Thanks!

      1. dirty dancing? when harry met sally? before sunrise? grease? wizard of oz (with wicked coming out might be topical)

      2. Just hijacking your comment to bemoan the lack of French Kiss on streaming, the ultimate modern tragedy.

        2. i remember being very fond of a kiss in that movie but hating the way her character knows she’s lactose intolerant and then eats a metric ton of cheese and then gets grumpy like it’s his fault

    6. Stepmom or The Notebook for All The Feels
      Clueless, 10 Things I Hate About You for 90s teen nostalgia
      Mean Girls or Legally Blonde for college era humor
      Home Alone for kitschy throwback holiday

      1. oh other 90s teen nostalgia – Cruel Intentions, and I’d forgotten about Peak Drew Barrymore Ever After until someone else mentioned it!

        1. Also Stepmom is really weird for me. A lot of us have parents that went through complicated divorces with affairs, and the Stepmom scenario is not how it goes much of the time…

    8. clue!!
      other favorites: bring it on,

      we just watched Jennifer’s Body, which i’d missed because those were my social late-20s (ha) but it’s a really interesting movie – lots of think pieces about why it’s become a cult classic, how it preceded me-too, etc.

    10. Wine County is so fun for girlfriends. Now and Then has been in the media lately, I’m dying to watch again. If you’re group is a bit raunchy- The Sweetest Thing.

    14. Looking at my DVD collection circa 1990s-2000s: 10 Things I hate About You, Ever After, Clue, Easy A, the Princess Diaries

    16. Just posted downthread, but Only You was pretty charming and set in Italy. It’s definitely not an A-level movie, but everyone is charming and the fashion is actually something you might want to wear now. Also under the Tuscan Sun. It’s interesting having seen these as a teenager. Now, I’m actually a similar age or older than some of these characters and the movies hit differently.

    18. An oldie but a goodie, and a bit of an obscure choice, but Local Hero is a sweet movie.

  12. Has anyone successfully gotten over an egg aversion (or another food aversion)? The comments about easy breakfasts upthread reminded me. I really want to like eggs. I need more protein in my diet, especially at breakfast. If you google “How to get more protein” every single article suggests eating eggs. But they just taste so bad to me!

    1. Haha so my funny egg story. I took a conscious effort to learn to “like” eggs or years for the same reason after hating them and the smell my entire life. For the same reasons: Good protein source, want to feel like a normal adult, etc. After learning to like them and incorporate them in my diet. Joke is on me, I now have a small kid that’s severely allergic to eggs. What are the odds?
      What helped me, I took time to slowly scramble eggs in the morning and either add a little milk to make them fluffy and a small amount of cheese. I always have to put a healthy amount seasoning on mine. My go to is creole seasoning.

      1. I’m the person below who said runny eggs make me queasy, and I also created a child who is allergic to eggs, haha. I even ate them while pregnant with him since the evidence (very weakly) suggests that egg and peanut exposure in the womb can be preventative of allergies. Sure wasn’t for us!

        1. Yay kindred spirit/eater! I still can’t handle my aversion to runny eggs. I have to have really well cooked scrambled eggs to tolerate it. It was funny meeting with the allergist and one of the first question they asked was if I ate eggs and nuts while pregnant. Luckily I did, but it doesn’t appear to have helped anything. At least the only perk of my kiddo’s allergy is now I’m not forcing myself to eat eggs anymore.

    2. what don’t you like about eggs? do you dislike them in all forms? scrambled, sunny side up, hard boiled, egg whites, etc.? it is easy to add egg whites to things like oatmeal

      1. what don’t you like about eggs? do you dislike them in all forms? scrambled, sunny side up, hard boiled, egg whites, etc.? it is easy to add egg whites to things like oatmeal

    3. Eggs are fine for protein but not amazing, so no need to force yourself to eat them.

      Some higher protein breakfast options:
      – stir collagen powder into your coffee or tea. Or make a latte with Fairlife milk.
      – oatmeal + collagen powder + fruit (add nuts or nut butter if you’d like)
      – smoothie with protein powder
      – cottage cheese + fruit
      – chia pudding + collagen powder + fruit

    4. It’s okay to not like eggs! I think that’s very common. If I eat anything less than a very hard-boiled egg, I’m queasy, so I just…don’t do it!

    5. I find a fried egg gross, and don’t even try to eat boiled eggs (too much egg!!). But I love scrambled eggs, preferably with salsa.

    6. What don’t you like about eggs? The texture? The sulfur smell and taste?

      If it’s not the texture, you could try scrambled or baked tofu, which is uneasy to make ahead or buy (I like the sriracha baked tofu at Trader Joe’s), and chia pudding.

    7. I don’t think you should force yourself to eat something you really, truly do not like when there are plenty of other options in the world for getting more protein into your diet!

    8. I’ve never liked eggs. They taste and smell bad. But they’re cheap, convenient, and a decent source of vegetarian protein. I eat them by covering them in something else. My best options are: mustard, salsa, hummus, guac, and/or ketsup. I make a dozen hard boiled eggs at once and then drench them in one or more of these condiments so I can only taste the condiment. That’s been the solution for me.

    9. I’m similar, and the only way I actually like them are scrambled with lots of cheddar cheese and diced ham mixed in. I can be okay with plain scrambled if I put ketchup on top.

    10. The least egg-y way I have found to eat an egg is the Cookie and Kate breakfast egg sandwich. You make the egg into a little cheese-filled omelette. Mmmm. The broccoli-bacon crustless quiche from Budget Bytes is very good. I am also a fan of a hard-cooked egg sliced and sprinkled with Everything But the Bagel seasoning.

      But if you really hate eggs no matter how they are cooked, why force yourself? Life is too short to eat food you don’t love. There are many other great sources of protein for breakfast. I like the TJ’s veggie sausage patties, the Cookie and Kate oat flour waffles, frozen protein waffles with nut butter and honey, superhero muffins, smoothies with peanut butter powder and greek yogurt, and steel-cut oats made with milk in the rice cooker and topped with berries and toasted pecans.

    11. If it’s the sulfur taste you don’t like, what about an omelette or egg bites made with egg whites? The flavor comes from the yolk.

    12. Why do you need to get over it? I developed an aversion to red meat while I was pregnant 17 years ago and it never went away, so I just eat other sources of protein now.

    13. Thanks all for the suggestions! The problem with eggs for me is the smell which translates to the taste. It’s just foul. And the thought of biting into a hardboiled egg makes me gag.

      I have thought about trying the egg bites that are so popular, maybe with enough cheese and herbs and seasoning I can tolerate them…?

      1. Maybe try the Trader Joe’s frittatas? They have veg mixed in so it’s a milder egg taste.

      2. I used to despise hardboiled eggs until I realized they didn’t have to be overcooked with nasty, chalky, sulfur tasting yolks. I simply boil them for less time so that the egg yolk is softer (totally customizable!) and I quite like them now. They’re best when still warm with a little salt and pepper. May be worth a try. But, there’s no rule saying you have to eat something you don’t like.

    14. OP, I also hate eggs and managed to marry someone who also hates eggs – yay for compatibility!

      I don’t think it’s possible to overcome disliking the smell and taste except by permanently losing those senses. And while you’ll get a number of suggestions that you mix egg whites into things that they don’t belong in, I have never found that to work for me. I get more protein by drinking milk and eating more cheese, yogurt, chicken, and beef.

    15. You can bake high protein things with egg whites. Protein pancakes or muffins, for example.

    16. I have never gotten over a food aversion. I’m sorry to tell you. Mine is not to eggs. It’s to bananas, but fuck bananas.

    17. I got over an aversion to mango. I was very proud of myself and ate mango happily for about six months. I don’t have an aversion to them any more, but have very seldom chosen to eat one since. I guess there are just too many other foods out there that I like more! For me the trick was letting myself get hungry enough (by eating small meals and exercising) that anything would taste good, and that seemed to reprogram my brain to be grateful for mango instead of picky about it if it was the first thing I ate when I was starving after a workout.

      Eggs are a common food intolerance (and some people just don’t do well with sulfur for whatever reason, even in wines or dried fruits). I’m not sure my “work up a good appetite” approach would be good since they’re harder to stomach on an empty stomach (maybe with a lot of toast it would work). Are you okay with something like a broccoli cheese quiche? French toast? Spoonbread? Egg drop soup? There are some “high protein” cheesecake recipes that are packed with eggs (I totally eat cheesecake for breakfast if I used a noncaloric sweetener so I’m not sugar bombing myself at the start of the day).

    18. Not sure this will help, given your aversion to taste and smell, but I don’t like cooking eggs in the morning. I do an egg bake almost every week, where I blend up eggs with some cottage cheese, add to baking pan, and then add a bunch of stuff – leftover roasted potatoes? red pepper? spinach? whatever – plus I add a bunch of shredded cheese. I add lots of salt and pepper and then bake til very firm. I tend to go with spinach and mushrooms and gruyere, and when I heat up smell the gruyere and mushrooms the most. If I am feeling fancy, I will smoosh shredded potatoes in the bottom of the pan and parbake that first before adding the wet stuff.

      The breakfast food I can’t stomach is oatmeal, although I can eat it baked in goods. The wet stuff makes me vomit. I feel you.

    19. Deviled eggs are a gateway drug. If you don’t like those, I give full permission to give up on liking eggs.

      1. (I should add–good deviled eggs. Preferably made by a Southern grandma. Not grocery store deli deviled eggs)

    20. Kind of? As a little kid I absolutely hated eating eggs, they tasted funny in a bad way and I didn’t understand why everyone was telling me they were good for me. I could tolerate eggs in fried rice and in baked goods. Some point when I was in college I realized that I probably had a mild egg allergy or intolerance, and the symptoms were so mild as in “tasted funny and the texture is wrong” compared to my more severe peanut and shellfish allergies (hives, rashes) that it didn’t register as an allergy to me.
      I’m in my 30s now and I can just about bear to eat a single egg in ramen, excluding the yolk, without getting a funny mouthfeel, but I still stay away from omelets and other very eggy things. I do eat baked goods with eggs in them, since I have a personal suspicion that baking does something to break down the egg protein or enzymes, but I have no scientific proof.

      by the way, your post reminded me of a NYT article a month or so ago about a kid who’s parents took him to France to get the kid to like eggs.

    21. Have you tried different preparations? I find eggs really taste differently whether they’re scrambled was runny Over Easy/Sunny side up or hard fried. You might like one style more. I personally struggle with liking omlettes unless they are loaded with toppings. You could also try eggs in a bagel/sandwich to balance out a really egg forward taste along with hash brown patties/avocado, etc.

  13. Are there any other women’s clothing stores/brands like LL Bean and Orvis? “I’m outdoorsy but I’m going to the grocery store and HomeGoods today” is my style 😂

    1. REI carries a lot of brands that fit that vibe.

      Faherty and Outerknown are outdoors-adjacent with a little more edge.

    6. Title Nine! I feel like all the athleisure brands are good for this, too, like Athleta, Girlfriend Collective, Outdoor Voices, etc.

      1. I really like the overalls I got at Duluth. I think they’re the firehose collection? It nips in at the waist and there’s elastic at the ankle so they’re not too long.

    12. More expensive: Pendleton, Carbon2Cobalt
      Similar cost: Marine Layer, Quaker Marine Supply
      Cheaper dupes: Land’s End (especially for flannel), Bass Pro Shops

      My personal style leans hard into the LL Bean and Orvis offerings these days. Maybe it’s where I moved in 2020, but I’m more likely to see hiking boots than wide legged jeans in the wild here!

    14. Outerknown, Kuhl, Mountain Hardware, Eddie Bauer, Patagonia, Cotopaxi, Fjallraven, Prana. Some are more cosplaying at being outdoorsy (Outerknown, Prana, Cotopaxi) while the rest are my ride-or-die for actual backpacking or snowshoeing excursions.

  14. I swear I can hear fine but my husband just cannot hear. I’m going to get tested though because both parents eventually needed hearing aids. What do I need to do? I don’t want to go to a place that just sells hearing aids but a doctor who will test me in a soundproof box or whatever will quantify what is going on? What I do, I will urge husband to do also and suspect that he would be a candidate for something (which I’m OK with paying for).

    1. tbh, you could start with AirPods for an at-home gut check (assuming you have a newer pair). Otherwise an audiologist is what you are looking for.

      1. We used the AirPods as a intro point for my dad. I bought them for his birthday, casually mentioned the feature, then on his own time while bored, he experimented with it. Waiting six months to bring up the costco hearing aides as wearing AirPods all the time is not a perfect solution.

    2. the WSJ just had an article about how everyone loves costco hearing aids, and they said that a lot of times they’ll let you try them out in store for an hour or so.

    3. I have a kid with hearing aids and I second the suggestion to first do an air pod hearing test then go to Costco (they sell a crazy percentage of US hearing aids). While a full audiologist work up is great, these early lower-cost options are also great!

      Also, good for you! Hearing aids are the best dementia prevention tool we have. They’re small and many are rechargeable and are Bluetooth compatible. I wish everyone would get tested (and have better insurance coverage but that’s another thing).

      1. I’ve had good success getting older family members to stay on top of hearing through the dementia prevention angle.

        Like have an audiologist check your ears just like you have the dentist check your teeth. Hearing aids are like crowns and bridges. You don’t wait for teeth to fall out before getting dental work so don’t want for your ears to stop working before you take care of them.

    4. I went to an audiologist and I did not get pressured to buy any sort of hearing device. He did all the tests on me, including the soundproof booth. We talked about how we are both scared of spiders and I feel confident that my hearing test was accurate, because a fellow anachrophobe is not going to lie to me!

      Read reviews online. You’ll get a sense of which places are hard sell and which aren’t. FYI my insurance paid for the hearing test.

      1. I too went to an audiologist and didn’t get the hard sell. I got told that strictly speaking I probably needed to have my hearing augmented, but at the hearing loss level I had that I would probably find that the annoyance outweighed the benefits.

      1. That is a good suggestion. I wrote about my fellow arachnophobe audiologist above, and he was a referral from my ENT. I was seeing her for ear infection related reasons, and I worried I had some hearing loss related to those. Her office used to do audiology, but their person quit during covid, so she referred me to this other guy.

    7. I recommend looking for a local, independent audiology practice. You can go to audiologist.org and use the Find An Audiologist tool.

  15. I just tried out an air fryer for the first time this week. I made a simple chicken and was really impressed that it was just actually a lot better than what I can make in the oven.

    1) Favorite air fryer recipes? Instructions/links appreciated.
    2) Also, our Breville toaster oven seems to be nearly the end of its life. Anyone have an air fryer/toaster combo that does both things well?

    1. Salmon comes out amazing in the air fryer. I also like to roast potatoes in there so they are extra crispy. There are some good recipes for brussel sprouts cooked til they are crispy with a honey balsamic glaze.

          1. I’ve used this but there are just a ton of recipes if you google for frozen salmon air fryer recipe. Be sure and watch the first time, as salmon piece thicknesses and air fryers vary. For convenience’s sake it’s worth taking a note of exactly how long your favorite brand of salmon in your air fryer takes. I stuck a post it note inside the cabinet door over the air fryer with temps and times and now it’s a brainless process.

            https://whatgreatgrandmaate.com/air-fryer-frozen-salmon/

      1. Do you have recommendations for a specific brand/ type of air fryer ( basic air fryer or air fryer toaster combo) . Thanks!

    3. I never wanted one because I do not need a giant gadget that takes up a good chunk of my limited counter space. But I lost that battle because my eldest came home from college with a boyfriend and an air fryer. I like the boyfriend (now finance) better than the air fryer but it’s close!

      For me the best use of an air fryer is making perfect frozen food. So those bags of Ore Ida shoestring fries that never come out great in your oven? They’re perfect in the air fryer. Like, perfect. Anything meant to be crispy is going to do well in the thing. It’s the best place to reheat a slice of pizza (even better than a cast iron pan, and yes I know that one).

      In terms of cooking from scratch, it’s small batch stuff like cooking for 1-2 people. Agree roast potatoes are good, but so is roast cauliflower or broccoli. My son and I made excellent breaded chicken tenders in it, which we then ate on airy rolls with homemade quick dill pickles. We killed it that day.

      I do recommend the air fryer sized sheets of parchment paper. They have little holes in them and are round. They’re really handy for things like the chicken tenders.

    4. I use the marinade from the Grilled Moroccan Chicken recipe from Once Upon a Chef and use it on chicken thighs and then cook in the air fryer. I’ve found that any type or marinade or spice rub on chicken works well for the air fryer.

      Air Fryer Zucchini from wellplated dot com – made this the other day and it was good.

      Air Fryer Fish Tacos from easydinnerideas dot com – also made this recently along with the slaw recipe from the same site.

      I cut up sweet potatoes into cubes and season with olive oil, salt and pepper. Cook in the air fryer and sprinkle with some cinnamon sugar after it’s done.

  16. Rant of the day: I have HAD it with mainstream retailers selling adult toys and not excluding them from unrelated search results. When I search for something innocuous like “yogurt bars” or “velvet pants” I do not need to see that garbage. People who want that stuff can go look for it specifically.

    1. I mean it’s a pet peeve of mine too because I don’t want that stuff popping up on my work computer, but it’s certainly not ‘garbage’.

      1. I feel like this site’s commentariat has peaked now — someone getting offended by someone offhandedly calling adult products “garbage” in the context of them popping up on unrelated searches.

        1. I have literally never had this happen- any chance someone else was using your device to search for that type of product?

          4. I’ve searched for cat food and gotten dead cats in my search results (for laboratory use). No, I don’t have a search history that would suggest I want to buy dead household pets. Retailers just suck.

        2. I just searched yogurt bars, yoghurt bars, and velvet pants on my target app. Didn’t get anything nsfw in the results, and I took out all the in-my-local-store filters. Not sure what is going on there!

          1. The Target website specifically has a bunch of odd add-on “affliate” stores that sell through the Target website. I haven’t had that particular issue per se, but it’s a huge pain to have to filter “merchant: Target” to avoid bizarre one-off catalog merch from “Happy Daze Lawn Care” or whatever!

          2. I HAVE bought that stuff from Target (2ish years ago) and still never get anything like that in random searches.

        1. I feel like you have some sort of virus/bug/issue with whatever device you’re using. Do you have an ad blocker?

          1. It came up on the app for me not the website. I wasn’t searching for anything, it was in the recommended products I think? I’m not mad about it honestly but I was surprised! I’ve never searched for anything like that on the app, it wouldn’t have occurred to me!

    3. i think those search results are all based on your search history and cookies. i was curious so i just searched for velvet pants on google, target, and walmart, and just got velvet pants. maybe you need a different chrome profile than your husband or roommate?

    4. This is happening because of search or purchase history that is saved in your browser. Maybe try deleting all your cookies and update the tracking settings to see if this goes away. I’ve never had this happen searching sites like Walmart or Target.

    5. I think those are targeted ads based on prior history or searches from your IP address. So if your at home, then it’s searches from any device linked to the internet in your home.

      That’s my layperson understanding.

      1. In a much less spicy vein that is how my husband recently figured out I was looking at LL Bean sweaters for him for Christmas. (Yes, a woman buying a man a sweater, apropos of the afternoon thread the other day!)

    6. Yes, it makes my stomach churn. I keep seeing ads for some sort of “prost -te toy.” My kids are seeing some of this too. It makes me so sad and I don’t know that there’s anything to be done except hope that there are better filters available at some point. I also had the unhappy event of searching something on YouTube with safe filters ON and getting a result that was literally p * * n. When I looked up how people are able to circumvent the filters it said that some videos like that are presented as “art.”

      1. I swear I get ZERO of this stuff. My “shopping” email address is convinced I’m a man who wants to stay hard for days and meet Russian cuties in my area, but in terms of search, I never get these kinds of results. Like, ever. Would it be my ad blocker working then? Maybe?

      2. It is an algorithm based on search history. I do a lot of searching and have literally never had this happened. I just checked the search terms you referenced and got nothing untoward. Either you or someone in your household (or someone who has hijacked your internet connection) has been doing searches that make this a reasonable result. Delete the cookies, cache and browser history on your devices. Change your WiFi password. But this is a “you” or your household problem. Not a retailer problem.

    7. This has literally never happened to me and I’m inclined to believe it’s based on your cookies! The lady doth protest too much, methinks.

    8. Clear your cache. Is it possible something similar was searched? I never see that stuff and the fact you’re seeing it multiple means you are being targeted somehow—opening a newsletter or clicking on a similar ad or interacting with similar content on social is enough to do it. You can also unselect ad personalization on search and that should help (digital marketer here).

    9. This is wild. I have a husband who shops for and buys pro$tate toys, a son who undoubtably watches p@rn- and they must diligently clear their caches because I get none of it. I did once get something related to a search my husband did and we had a good laugh about the unintended targeted ads. I agree with everyone else, it’s an IP/cookie problem.

  17. Do you know anyone under the age of say 45 who has been at the same company all or most of their career? I’m in my early 30s and right now my friends and I are aiming to stay at places longer – but it still doesn’t seem like staying somewhere for 10+ years is as feasible as it used to be.

    1. Yes — I have, and several of my same-age colleagues have. I’m not going to say it’s always been easy, and sometimes there are drawbacks in terms of being able to advance. But, I will say that I like that my reputation is solid, and the benefits and overall environment make it pretty hard to leave. I have considered leaving, several times, but have always ended up staying. I’m 44.

    2. Me. I work for a large corporation where there is a lot of opportunity to move around.

      1. Same for me. I’m 48 and have been at my organization for 25 years. Many of my co-workers are here 20+ years as well.

    3. Yes but in government. I also know two people who started at a major bank after college and only recently left after 20+ years. In all cases, most people have moved around internally.

    4. We have a lot of people like that. I think it’s because we are a large organization with a ton of bureaucracy and policies. That is why internal candidates have a real edge, and you can switch within the company and build your career that way. And the benefits are ok too.

      1. I think this is the key – if you have lots of opportunities to switch internally when the time comes and the benefits etc are solid, why leave?

    5. I’m 37 and have a few friends like that. I’m a lawyer so some of them have been at their law firms for 10+ years. 7 of my nonlawyer friends from college have been at their companies since we graduated! They are all big companies (one is at Google) with a lot of room for growth/moving around/etc. 2/5 were identified as “high potential” and have had a lot of cool opportunities through their companies’ leadership programs over the years. Another 3 of my college friends have been at their current companies for 5+ years.

      I’ve been at my current company for 5 years and wouldn’t be surprised if I stay here for 10+ years. I like my boss and the work is interesting – the company experiments a lot so I work on a lot of different things as the company evolves.

    6. No, I am 40 and most of the people I know have had 5+ employers. I probably have the longest tenure having been at my prior company 9 years. But I’m now on my 6th employer since graduating in 2010. I am an older millennial and did not used to understand why younger millennials changed jobs so much. But what I learned from staying at a company for 9 years was that yes it was nice to have some stability, but emerging after 9 years, I was grossly underpaid during the last 3 or so years of those 9 and should have moved on sooner. Companies need to be doing more to retain employees- if your annual raise is 1.5% and inflation is at 6% you’re making LESS. Companies cannot expect employees to stay in a comp program like that which is what I was experiencing.

      1. This. You’re also likely behind with technology since you’re not exposed to as many programs and possibly training since investment in that isn’t as strong as it should be and inherently types of experiences get limited. Your network also is smaller to some degree. (I’m 50 now and worked one place 15 years and another 10 years-career advice to younger me would have been to do 3-5 year stints in that time. Since those prime advancement and earning and energy periods go by quickly.

    7. I have a few, but not many, friends from law school who have been at the same firm since we graduated (in 2008, so it has been 15+ years at this point).

    8. I worked for the same company roughly from age 30 to age 50. I had to leave because of a reorg – I didn’t get let go, I just took the next good job that came my way because it was an “I see the writing on the wall” situation at my old job. I think what kept it interesting and not career death was that the old company was a multinational rapidly growing conglomerate. I did all sorts of things there. I never did the same thing for more than a few years.

      So when I put those 20 years on my resume they look like a lot of jobs, despite the fact that they were for the same employer. Because they were in fact a lot of different jobs.

    9. Hi, it’s me! I’m in my early 40s and have been at my law firm since I graduated at age 25. I’ve got a good thing going, am now a partner, and don’t see leaving anytime soon.

    10. Yes, several, myself and DH included are both > 10 years. We’re 2007 college grads and really got our careers “going” after the GFC in 2009.

    11. My firm is a unicorn. When you arrive, you either love it and stay for decades or it’s just ok for you and you move on after 3-4 years. (I’m coming up on year 9.) We have about 100 attorneys and it sounds so corny but we really are like family. I love seeing my colleagues in person (I’m remote). And my friends in government and Big 4 accounting are ticking by the years, too.

    12. Yes. In house attorneys at an insurance company. Until recently it was very much a mid twentieth century style gig. The ceo had worked his way up from the mail room. We all got bonuses and it was hard to get fired or demoted. They seemed to want to keep people. Now the ceo is a hedge fund dude and they do layoffs frequently. Some of my under 45 friends there still have actual pensions and a lot just can’t wrap their brains around leaving.

    15. My husband is 42 and has been at the same company for 11 years. He’s been promoted a bunch of times, had his role change, company has been bought twice. He’s one step down from c-suite. Private sector. He’s the exception though; he has been through 7 bosses and 3 CEOs.

  18. My guilty pleasure is flipping through catalogs. It find it very relaxing – something I could use more of right now. Any recommendations for catalogs? I prefer those about women’s’ clothing and interior design. Already have Coldwater Creek, Restoration Hardware, Serena & Lily, Grandin Road, Ballard.

    1. Ahh I miss the old catalog days!! Do you get LL Bean and Lands End if that’s your thing at all?

    2. Soft Surroundings and Schoolhouse fit with that list. Anthropologie probably doesn’t but might be worth a look anyway?

    3. the NM fantasy holiday catalog – I got a real one in the mail this year, probably bc I clicked on the webs.te version and they thought they had me :)
      Mark & Graham

    5. The IKEA catalogue release is basically a holiday for me. Get a cup of hot chocolate and curl up on the couch flipping through it.

      1. Anon enjoyed ladyblogs as much as the next corporate attorney, but she secretly longed to curl up with a cup of tea and a great catalogue.

        Her living space could both be described as “cozy” and “way too many books,” but she liked it that way.

        It’s not like she was really going to be ordering a complete new wardrobe from the Neiman Marcus Fantasy Holiday Catalogue, though the His & Hers matching ocelots were intriguing.

        She just wanted a break from the constant emails. Was that too much to ask? A moment to sit down with a good catalogue while wearing warm, comfortable socks, and provocatively printed pajama pants made from the finest 100% cotton poplin, with a full elastic waist and a self fabric drawcord. Imported. $78.00

    10. If you need a different genre, Seed Savers Exchange has a gorgeous catalog perfect for dreaming about spring planting season.

    11. If you need a different genre, Seed Savers Exchange has a gorgeous catalog perfect for dreaming about spring planting season.

    13. I used to enjoy Horchow, if they still have a catalog. I remember it all being a little extra, but this made it fun.

  19. I feel silly asking this, but DH and I thought we would never get out from under the mountain of debt. It happened yesterday! We are debt free except for our house. But now I feel bewildered- what next? We are 40, have 3 kids that are elementary age. Could you recommend some good resources? Or a good next step? At what point is a financial advisor helpful?

    3. CONGRATULATIONS!

      My answer to “what next?” and that bewildered feeling would be to take a couple months off from thinking about money goals, and instead spend some time celebrating. Do something frivolous with some of that money that has now been freed up. Enjoy. Too often, we speed our way from one goal to another (because it feels good and productive) and forget to stop inbetween and enjoy the accomplishment, celebrate, and reset.

      1. Thank you for this. I think you’re right. I’m so emotional right now. I thought this day would never come, and I should take some time to rest and reset.

      2. Yes
        This is my dream / was my dream (life took a turn)

        Please go someplace slightly luxurious and splurge!

        Then decide later on next goals

    4. Congratulations!! I agree taking a couple months off from thinking about money goals would be a good. Bask in your success a little, you’ve earned it.

      IMO, a financial advisor is helpful for just about anyone who has a goal and needs money to achieve it. So like, if you want to pay for college for your kids and retire at 65, you could pay a fee-based financial advisor to crunch some numbers and recommend any adjustments you should make to your savings or investments to put yourself in the best position to achieve that. DH and I did this before we bought a house. I can do a lot with spreadsheets, but advisor’s models gave me more confidence that we were on the right track.

      You probably *don’t* need a financial advisor to handle all your money and investing for you unless you have no interest in doing it yourself, or if you have a ton of money and want to do more adventurous things with it than investing in index funds. I’m also 40 with 3 kids, and I shifted everything to a wealth management company a few years ago because we had a lot of $$ including tech stock options from my employer I just didn’t have the mental bandwidth to stay on top of things as much as I felt like I should… but I am toying with switching back to self-managing. Our advisors do give us access to some investment opportunities we wouldn’t have as individuals, and I like the comprehensive quarterly check-ins, but I’m on the fence whether it’s really worth it.

    6. We did Dave Ramsey to get to this point too(I know, he’s not a good person, but his class was good for us) but make sure you’re insured properly, have an emergency fund of 3-6 months, are maxing our retirement, and college savings, and then I really liked the book Simple Path to Wealth, recommended here.

  20. Looking for hooded raincoat recommendations! The biggest challenge is that I’m a short pear, so lots of stuff that fits in the shoulders won’t zip from the bottom. I’ve had a cropped Lulu Lemon raincoat for a few years and it’s been OK, but I really would like something longer, if it’s out there…

    3. I have a long Athleta raincoat from ~5 years ago that I still like and wear often. I have a different body type though, so I am not sure about your issue of not zipping from the bottom. Worth trying though!

    4. I just size up to fit my hips. Chances are I’m wearing a layer or two underneath anyway. Outdoor Research is a brand that can often be found on sale, and hits a sweet spot of quality/features vs price. You can also find more expensive brands that have zippers that zip from top and bottom.

    5. Ok I am also a shorter pear and did a huge search last year and landed on Stutterheim and love it. I was nervous about the fact they are oversized (which is not usually my style) but it’s really flattering. I have the Mosebacke style with no lining. I also wanted more color options than black and it’s great. Running around with my yellow raincoat makes me happy on gloomy days and my toddler can always find me in the playground. There’s a range of prices depending on lining, style, etc.

      1. Just spent some time on the Stutterheim website; these jackets are incredible and look much more likely to work for me than anything else I’ve seen. Thank you!

    6. I gave up and just layer a Cleverhood poncho over a puffer in winter and solo otherwise. Keep me much drier and it rains a ton where I live and I have a dog to walk.

  21. Recommendations for sheets and duvets? DH and I just bought a sleep number and we’d like to get new bedding too. The mattress doesn’t elevate so we don’t need the complicated-looking split sheets, but I think we’ll need a deep pocket style for the fitted sheet.

    Also we’d like two duvets instead of one.* For a Cali King, do you get 2 queen size duvets or 2 king size? Any recommendations on making the bed look aesthetically pleasing despite having 2 duvets?

    * I am a blanket thief. While asleep, I cocoon myself in the king sized comforter and DH is left with no comforter. It is twisted so tightly around me that it’s impossible for him to get even a corner back. I swear I was a butterfly in a past life.

    1. Hudson Park @ Bloomingdale’s for sheets. Will probably be on sale for Black Friday. For duvets, you’d typically do two twins for a king, and a cali king is narrower.

      1. Thanks I will check these out!

        We currently have a cali king with a king comforter and I steal the whole thing, so I’m not hopeful that twin duvets would work!

    2. I’m a Threshold from Target fan. The fitted sheets are deep and stay in place.

  22. Is anyone else following the Caitlin Tracey story? The more details that come out, the more outrageous her husband’s actions are. I see his law firm wasted no time in taking him off their website.

          1. Is that the judges real name? Sounds like a silly nickname for a judge that always rules against you.

    2. No but I’m interested — do you know where I can get a good explanation? I just saw a bunch of very sensationalist articles that are low on details.

      2. Although I normally rely on the tribune for my local news, the Sun Times had some details about the hearing yesterday and other info about the husband I didn’t see in the other papers yet.

      1. It’s a Google able media story, not someone vaguely detailing their personal drama.

        1. yesterday’s example was also pretty specific. That was a total pile-on of people misusing the term “vaguebooking” and being extra cranky. I am not OP of either post.

        1. I’m referring back to the dumpster fire of yesterday’s morning thread (which was even more Googleable than this one!). I very much agree with you that people can google this sort of thing—just was surprised the cranks who were upset about this yesterday weren’t here today!

  23. Curly girls – favorite hair product recommendations at the moment? My summer products are a little too heavy for the lack of humidity here in winter, so I’m going to need to switch up my routine and figured I’d see if there’s anything new and exciting that people are loving.

    1. Curlsmith air dry cream ~ and the cowash

      This brand had given me predictable results, but easy in curly hair!

      When it is cold out I dry my hair with a diffuser

  24. I’m joining a company with a Japanese parent company – any advice on learning Japanese business culture? Good books to read, things to be aware of, etc.?

    2. The cultural map, not only for Japan but to generally undertand different corporate cultures.

    3. Hi from the HQ of a Japanese parent company. Maybe yours?

      Two things

      1 Overinform

      Any Japan HQ person involved in what your team does should be updated frequently and generally feel like they know what is in progress and when any issues might be arising

      2 Accountability goes one layer up

      Managers are presumed responsible for their teams’ mistakes. If you mess up, your manager takes the blame. If your team messes up, you’re judged for it. See above re over-informing. Your Japanese stakeholders, if they’re in your management line, will want to know far in advance about any issues, because they’re on the hook

      Good luck! Send the bat signal here is you visit Japan and want to have a coffee

      1. OP – Thank you! This is in line with what I heard during the interviews and I really hope I get to go to Japan for work since I loved it when I went for fun!

      1. I’m pretty well convinced there’s tons of stuff that hasn’t seen the light of day at this point that would inevitably come out. It sounds like the extremely republican Senate warned him off.

    3. They will probably find him a job that does not require Senate confirmation but still – I will take the win (and I do not care what side of the political spectrum you fall on – this is a win. The man was egregiously unqualified.)

    4. My only thought is someone threatened him, he wouldn’t willingly give up that power.

      1. A finding of the House investigation – that he paid $10k for horizontal entertainment – leaked to the Senate and they told him no dice.

      2. I presume the report hack was the Russians who tried to turn him into an asset and he wasn’t interested.

      1. my husband is saying that he resigned from the current term but can come back to the new term he was reelected for in November. True? Hope not!

    8. glad to see ‘has s*x with children’ is still a bridge too far at least for some

    9. He’s totally going to get appointed ambassador to some country so that he can use his diplomatic immunity to continue what he was doing.

          1. Ewwww. Not at you, but at the thought of what he would choose do with any authority in that region.

      2. I bet he gets something in the administration. But an ambassador requires Senate confirmation and I doubt Trump will waste the time and energy needed to fight for him

  26. Random Thursday fashion comment, but I rewatched Only You with Marisa Tomei and Robert Downey Jr. Marisa especially but also Bonnie Hunt have the perfect mid 90s outfits. That’s how I want to look like as an adult woman with 90s fashions back in rather than the background extras in 90210.

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