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Wednesday’s Workwear Report: Nika Top

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red blouse

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

I’ve been seeing a lot of this gorgeous popsicle red color this season and it makes me smile every time. This sleeveless top from M.M. LaFleur looks like a great lightweight option for layering under blazers this summer. The pleating at the neckline gives it a slightly more elevated look than a plain cotton shell and the slightly blousy fit looks breezy and elegant.

The top is $139 at M.M.LaFleur and comes in sizes XS-XXL… but you can use code CORPORETTE15 to bring it down to $118.

Sales of note for 6/12:

173 Comments

  1. Does it seem fishy to anyone else that Trump-backed candidates always win? I swear they’re cooking the books even in small races to make everyone bend the knee.

    1. No it doesn’t seem fishy to me – so far they’re winning primaries but not doing very well in general elections. The Republican party has been taken over by MAGA. If you’re not a MAGA fanatic, there’s no room for you in the party. So it’s pretty logical they would sweep primary elections.

      1. Yes, this exactly. Primaries generally select for the extremes on both sides, and in the Republicans right now that means MAGA.

    2. I have no doubt they’re cooking the books – they’ve said as much and have the power and motivation to pull it off, plus the plausible deniability. Always believe the dictator’s promises.

      1. But there are so many bipartisan safeguards. This is just harder to pull off than it used to be? Unless you mean in primaries only? I think the gerrymandering is a bigger deal.

      2. Cooked books is exactly what the Jan 6 people would say about elections. I haven’t seen evidence that they’re right, and I don’t see evidence that MAGA is stealing elections either.

    4. I live in Texas and voted in the Republican primary for the sole reason of trying to keep Ken Paxton from winning. I’m so disappointed that only MAGA showed up for the run offer. I’m not saying Cornyn was my favorite senator ever, but he was a much better choice than Paxton. I do not know how anyone has voted for him ever.

      1. Paxton is awful but I think everyone should also acknowledge that Cornyn being 74 and seeking another 6 year term might have had something to do with him losing.

          1. True, but voters have had it with very old candidates at this point whether it’s logical or not. I think on some level people intuit the idea that it’s a sign of a struggling democracy.

      1. Yes I live in one of the few red state districts in which a moderate R beat a Trump-backed challenger (very narrowly). I was actually sort of cheering for the extremist because I thought it would be easier for the D to win in the general (the district is purple in general elections). My parents and husband however voted for the moderate and then he won by exactly 3 votes… never say your vote doesn’t matter!

        1. This is just what Hillary’s campaign thought about running against MAGA the first time, that Trump would be the easier candidate to beat.

    7. As an experienced election lawyer, no. That isn’t how voter fraud works.

      Note that Thomas Massie didn’t ask for a canvass (the deadline for doing so under Kentucky law passed yesterday). Had he thought that tens of thousands of fraudulent votes were cast, he would have requested a canvass. This would be pretty easy to informally check, too: find out who doesn’t normally vote in primaries, let alone off year primaries, but voted this year. Have your legions of supporters start knocking on doors to ask them if they voted in the primary. You don’t even ask them who the voted *for*; you just want to determine if a lot of fraudulent ballots were cast.

      1. as an experienced election lawyer this might be interesting to you — wild conspiracy theory for sure but the idea of it was very interesting, and Elon was absolutely up to something so i wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a kernel of truth. The Epstein connection was interesting. Basically theorizes that a mathematical technique called wavelet analysis can be used to change votes in a way that cannot be detected by traditional election fraud analysis.

        https://substack.com/@kaitjustice/p-198561887

    8. Commenters in the NYT said that Paxton was in the lead before Trump backed him. Trump likes to back winners, so his support could have just been an extra push for an already winning candidate.

      Faced with two terrible candidates, the people of Texas chose to vote for the most terrible one. Tells you something about a lot of Texans.

    9. No, I don’t. We need to come to terms with the fact that many more people are MAGA (with all the racist, misogynist, and xenophobic baggage the term carries with it) than we’d like to believe.
      Attributing it to fraud is another way to dodge that uncomfortable truth.

  2. Are there any queen-size sofa beds that are actually comfortable? We have a room that is an office most of the time but occasionally needs to host guests. It’s small and we’d rather not have the space taken up by a queen 100% of the time. If we could find a good sofa bed that we wouldn’t feel the need to apologize about it, that would be awesome. Only requirement is no flame ret@rdants.

    1. We have the CB2 lubi daybed and use a soft topper on it for guests. My parents slept on it for a month with no complaint. It turns into a king, not queen.

      1. Along similar lines, we have the Room and Board Oxford Pop-up Platform Sleeper Daybed (with a topper), and I think it is pretty comfortable.

        1. OP here and we have that couch right now and hate it! It’s so, so, so firm and ours has broken twice in four years. That’s what we’re looking to replace.

    2. I find Murphy beds way more comfortable than sofa beds as the mattress doesn’t need to fold up on creaky springs.

      1. This. My grandparents had a Murphy bed in their home office that was my spot when visiting. Even though it was a thinner mattress, it was quite comfortable. (More comfortable than the firm bed in the guest room!)

    3. I am going on 15+ years with my IKEA futon – if comfortable with the assembly, check them out.

    4. If you have the wall space, you might also consider a Murphy bed. Super easy to pull down, very comfortable, and you can leave it made (minus pillows) for drop-in guests.

    5. I have a Luonto sofa bed that is fabulously comfortable, both as a sofa and as a bed. It has no springs. It’s basically a hinged platform bed on solid plywood that folds out on hinges.

    6. The issue is that you can make the bed comfortable with toppers and things, but the couch itself will be unbearably uncomfortable because of the bed mechanism.

    7. American Leather’s foam mattress sleepers. Available at Room & Board and other places. We have the Metro sleeper from Room & Board. DH and I have slept on it and it’s good.

      1. R&B’s American Leather products have historically been this board’s recommendation for sleeper sofas, and we were very happy with the one we bought.

        1. +1. They are fairly priced. Made in the US. Don’t outgas. And are surprisingly comfortable.

    9. I have the Burrow Shift sleeper sofa in my home office and like it a lot. When folded out into a bed, it’s fairly low, so I wouldn’t put my 82-year-old dad on it. But I’ve slept on it several times when my husband or I have been sick and it’s really comfortable.

    10. I have a Wayfair fabric daybed that is slightly deeper than a couch. It has a very good mattress on it so it’s super comfortable to sleep on. But if I was going to change, I would do a Murphy bed all day. Even just the kind that are like daybeds would take up less room if I never wanted the mattress part out.

  3. Just a whine about how much I hate the software that HRs use to sort through resumes. I applied for a job 12 hours ago that I am a perfect fit for and already I’ve received an automated rejection. I’m “only” on month 4 of unemployment and I’m prepared for 6-9, but seriously. The only jobs I’ve gotten any traction with have been with recruiters, real humans who actually read. (And yes, my resume is optimized for keywords and all that.) Just ugh.

        1. How would you know if an opening wasn’t real? If a major corporation goes through the effort of posting to LinkedIn and Indeed, it seems like there should be a real opening!

          1. It seems more likely that big companies have perma-postings so they don’t have to wait for candidates the next time the role opens up.

      2. How does posting a fake opening benefit a company? These can’t all be cases where they have already selected an internal candidate and are just going through the motions of posting the job.

        1. Data gathering. Before AI there was much less of an incentive to do this because it’s a lot of work to do anything with all the gathered data. Now everyone wants piles of it.

        2. Data gathering; being ready for fast hires later; making the company appear active on linked in so its posts get promoted; some “companies” on LI are just fronts for other job boards; a legal or corporate requirement to post jobs; a manager hoping the headcount will be approved if they show up with the perfect candidate; hedging – maybe they’ve got five decent candidates in interviews so they’re not *really* looking to add more but are leaving the post up just in case, plain sloppiness – the req closed 3 months ago and someone forgot to close it, etc. You just can’t know as the candidate, unless you have a direct internal contact to ask.

          There’s also lots of possibilities related to bad job description writing, so you might be a perfect match for what they published, but the hiring manager really wants something else (all the variants on: only wants to hire HYS, or forgot to write that one skill, or cares about XYZ being in your cover letter, or plain old fashioned bias, etc)

    2. My son just went through this with his first job out of college. He was rejected from so many entry-level jobs for which he had an excellent internship experience, but then he would randomly break through the screen at some much better companies. He ended up with two interviews and two offers from the companies that would have been his top picks anyway, but he was rejected by the lower tiers. He has since learned that the company he now works for almost never hires outside of their internship program for his role, so it’s even more of a mystery as to how he broke through. A happy ending, yes, but still mysterious. Long story short, it’s not just you.

      1. This happened to me as a mid-career person! I was quickly rejected by lower-tier companies and ended up getting a job at a top-tier company (a big four accounting firm). Don’t give up. Keep at it. There will be a light at the end of the tunnel. You can’t control all the factors, but you can control your level of effort.

    3. When are employers going to realize that they are losing out on solid candidates because of these systems?

      1. The thing is you don’t, not right now. There are so so so many qualified applicants and referrals that you don’t need this pipeline.

    4. I once got rejected within an hour of applying. There’s no pretending a human read my keyword-filled resume and cover letter. It sucks.

      1. My son (the new grad above) once handed his resume to a recruiter at a job fair at his college and had a rejection email from them before he got home. It seemed like a race to reject him. Agreed that it sucks.

    5. When this happened to me it was because they already had the person in mind to hire and posting it was just a formality. Found out this info from a consultant I work with.

  4. I’ve posted about this before but I’m really struggling to support some friends. Basically one friend is getting divorced after cheating on her husband for a long time. He has no idea. It’s really hard to be supportive because she’s 100% focused on the new boyfriend and seemingly zero percent focused her young kids; whose world is about to be changed forever. She and her new boyfriend constantly revel in the mental health struggles of his current wife and the mom of his young kids. I kind of feel for this stranger because she was cheated on, her marriage ended against her will and she’s probably scared. A second friend keeps chiming in that when her husband left his wife and young kids for her their mom was such a crazy idiot. I mean yeah, she had two two year olds and was suddenly humiliated and in a terrible financial position.

    I guess… what is wrong with my that my sympathies are with the people who didn’t cheat on their partners and bore the brunt of everyone’s decisions? I was trying to remain neutral but apparently said the wrong thing last night and upset my friend. Fwiw I suggested she wait to do weekend long stays at the boyfriend’s until her ex husband moves out in a month and they break the news to her kids. She said she has a “right” to spend the weekend wherever she wants. I guess that’s true but my suggestion was so as to not cause conflict with the ex over the child care ramifications of just bailing.

    Can I just step back here? I feel like I’m showing my hand. Fwiw I’m not a puritanical person and I really do think people should be able to leave crummy marriages, even with kids. But I’m just being an unhelpful friend at this point. It hurts because I value being a part of this group and the dynamic is completely based on mutual support without judgement. I’m really failing at that.

    1. Of course there is nothing wrong with you and you should drop this horrible person.

    2. I don’t think I could not judge this person and would step back from being friends with her.

    3. Yes, you can certainly step back (and in the situation you describe, I would). Friends behaving in a shitty manner don’t have the right to your unconditional approval and support of their every decision. That doesn’t mean you have to ghost them or cut them off, but you don’t have to hand them matches while they burn everything down.

    4. I think it’s totally the place of a good friend to tell their friend when they’re being selfish and harming those they love/loved.

      The friendship might not survive, but I don’t think that’s any big loss. If someone can be so thoughtless to their kids and cruel about their new bf’s ex, I don’t think there’s reason to think they’d be a good friend in the long run.

      This isn’t at all about your friend’s right to divorce or move on, but rather about how she handles it.

    5. I’ve surprised myself at the internal judgment I’ve felt towards people in similar situations – sometimes it has seemed like the kids are a total afterthought. I’m supportive of divorce and think it can absolutely be the best option in many circumstances, but it throws me for a loop if someone treats it lightly, I guess.

      1. I am supportive of divorce in cases of abuse or infidelity, but to benefit the person who has been abused or cheated on. I am not going to support a cheater.

    6. Yes, step back. And by “back” I mean far, far away and never talk to them again.

      The people you describe are sh*tty people. Things happen, marriages end, etc. but mature adults who are not sh*tty people don’t revel in the emotional pain they are inflicting on others, and don’t just check out on their kids.

      1. If you really value the friendship, you can have maybe one heart-to-heart about why you’re not the right person to talk about this thing with and see how it goes. But you’re under no obligation to, and I have trouble imagining that I’d want to still be friends with a group that justifies that kind of behavior.

          1. I’m sure there is a lot more to this person than just this series of choices!

            But it doesn’t sound like a great reciprocal relationship if OP is this worried about conveying judgment while the friend is 0% worried about the position she’s putting OP in. Why is OP more worried about being judged for being judgy than these people are about being judged for e.g. openly trash talking their kids’ other parent?

      2. +1 I’m divorced and a proponent of divorce in general, but cheating and more importantly not seeming to care about your children’s wellbeing is inexcusable in my book.

    7. You sound like a good person and these people all sound awful.

      I’m not going to judge whether or not the friendships are worth it. I will say that, when it comes to interpersonal relationships, especially where kids are involved, having the “right” to do something is often beside the point.

      Nothing wrong with fading away from these people.

    8. This sounds like a horrible dynamic. Are you really sure you want this friend’s choices to reflect on your own character the way they absolutely will if you stay this involved with her?

      1. This. I know how I look at the male friends of men who cheat and lie, and all the people who support them and keep their secrets for them and ensure that no matter what life choices they make, they still have a friend group who has their back. Why should I feel differently when it’s women friends?

    10. “I guess… what is wrong with my that my sympathies are with the people who didn’t cheat on their partners and bore the brunt of everyone’s decisions? ”

      Nothing. Nothing is wrong with you for sympathizing with the people who are suffering, so don’t worry about that. How your sympathies impact your friendship is a separate question. I would also want to take a step back if I were you. I’m not sure that “mutual support without judgment” means (or should mean) “unquestioning support of every decision and never judging knowing, objectively harmful conduct.” But if that’s what it means to this group, then I’d question whether that is a group I want to be a part of. Or, I’d at least reduce my emotional investment in the group. Is it a true friendship if you can’t make a reasonable suggestion (in what I will assume was a non-combative manner) without being in the wrong for upsetting your friend?

      1. Some conduct should be judged, and friends who don’t judge it aren’t really true friends.

    11. Yikes. I’m sorry. I have two friends who have cheated and left marriages. The first friend hooked up with a colleague on a work trip, ‘fessed up right away when she got home, left her company for a new job, tried counseling and realized some things would never work in their relationship and then she asked for a divorce a year later. She did not pursue a relationship with her colleague. She is now happily married and so is her ex-husband. We are still good friends.

      My second friend cheated flagrantly in her first marriage. That marriage was a poor choice I thought because she was going through some big issues during the engagement (illness and then death of her mother after losing her father a year prior in a traumatic accident). No kids in that marriage, and I chalked it up to her being in a terrible mental state after everything. But then she married her cheating partner, had two kids and… six years later left her now second ex for a mutual friend of his that she had been hooking up with for years. The families spent weekends and vacations together! He has high school kids who are understandably wary of her and she’s convinced it’s NBD for her own kids (but hello, they’re going to figure out what happened!). They’re acting like everyone should just get over it. I’ve almost completely severed ties with her aside from birthday texts. She is a chaos agent and probably won’t change.

      1. I agree with this approach. One time mistake that you take responsibility for? I might judge a little but won’t end the friendship. Ongoing affair with zero guilt? I have no respect for you and don’t want to be around you.

        A casual friend of mine had an affair while in a serious relationship. She expected her friends to support her actions. Then after she married the BF she became faithful but he started (or maybe just got caught) flagrantly cheating. I struggle to muster sympathy for this woman.

    12. I don’t think I could remain non-judgmental, either. End your marriage, fine, but at least pretend to give an eff about how it’s affecting other people, namely your children.

    13. You’re talking as if “being supportive” is the only grid through which to approach interactions with friends. It’s not. I wouldn’t even be trying to support what your friends are doing. Of course I’d “show my hand.”

      If they are my actual friends, they would know I’m not the person who will support them as they blithely do things that I think are foolish, misguided, mean, or immoral.

    14. Is it actually good for people to have their most destructive, selfish choices affirmed by their friend group?

    15. Yes, you can absolutely step back from friends who don’t align with your values. I do want to point out that mutual support without judgment of your friends doesn’t mean you don’t disagree with them. You can let someone know that you don’t agree with their choice but still love them as a friend.

    16. This is not a person I would want to continue a friendship with. I would consider that this friendship has run its course, and step way back from it.

    17. Obviously you can step back. People are flawed and do effed up things to each other all the time. This is one of many things that fit that bill. Your job is to do the best you can to live your own life decently. You might not eff up this way, but surely you will in other ways. Failing is allowed. The hope is that you then grow.

    18. Why does she need support? She sounds like trash and no need to support her at all.

    19. when one of my girlfriends started cheating on her husband i tried to look at it as though she had lost her way and needed help finding her way back to the person she has always been… and even if i couldn’t help her with that journey that i had faith in her that she would find her way and need support when she came out of it (which i think she has).

      it sounds like these particular friends have always been assholes if this is the way they’re approaching it? i’d take a big step back. if you’re on a group text thread you can mute the messages so they don’t ding or make noise… and just stop replying and coming to things.

    20. Op here. Thanks everyone. I feel like I’m not the best friend because I’m seeing it from the other person’s side.

      Also one of these friends was extremely judgmental of me when our kids were babies. I was a bottle feeding mom who never ever co slept. She was extremely harsh because she was the opposite. It’s insane to me now ten years later how disconnected she is from her children. For someone who slept with them and nursed them forever. The definition of a good mom seems like it stops mattering after the toddler years and I think my head is spinning. My kids always slept in their cribs but I can’t imagine wanting to spend less time with them right now; especially if my husband and I were divorcing. I feel like I’d be way too worried about them to care about a boyfriend. I always resented her judgment and now I’m guilty of it.

      1. Frankly I give the side-eye to people who sleep with their babies/toddlers in the grown-up bed. When do you stop? When they go off to college?!

        1. I was terrified of smushing them; especially when sleep deprived . But then I saw that somewhere that cosleeping is ok for bre@stfeeding moms because they wouldn’t hurt they’re overall just better moms or something and I guess not statistically likely to do that.

          1. What are you talking about? Why would that make it any safer? Are you being sarcastic?

            For most of us, there’s really no need to play the odds at all. If for some mom this is the best of poor options, I’ll understand, like holding a baby in a car when there should be a carseat but there isn’t. But looking down on other moms for not taking needless risks is on another level.

          2. I’m being sarcastic; it’s definitely coming from a place of hurt for being called a crummy mom all those years ago. However, there are reputable bre@stfeeding advocates who say that cosleeping is ok for nursing moms. I saw one lactivist midwife sing a song about it.

        3. Maybe when the kid is finally capable of sleeping through the night. And if there are folks who can look for “signs of readiness” before potty training, maybe people can do the same for getting a kid to sleep in a bed by themselves.

          Signed a severely sleep deprived single mom doing anything to make the next day more bearable.

        4. I’m not sure when my toddler is going to go back to sleeping in her own bed, but I’m confident it’ll be before she goes to college. My daughter didn’t sleep with me when she was a baby because I was worried about the safety, but she had a very hard time when I was unexpectedly in the hospital for eight days. When I got home, I was willing to do anything to make it better for her. I don’t love that. We’re still sleeping in the same bed almost 2 months later, but it’s honestly pretty low down on my priority list of things to change.

      2. So she completely disregarded safe sleep recommendations to the point of looking down on people who followed them, and you’re surprised that she’s careless about her kids now?

      3. A lot of people substitute meaningless performance for actually doing what they should be doing.

    21. There is a middle ground here between full support and cutting off contact. Would you consider gently calling them on it? “I can’t help but feel sorry for wife #1. I mean, she thinks she’s in a happy marriage and then suddenly becomes a single mother to two young kids.” Life is long and people are imperfect. We all make mistakes and treat people badly but if this is ongoing I think you can point it out to them and see if they see what is happening.

    22. There’s no such thing as being nonjudgmental. You are always taking sides one way or another through your action or inaction, whether or not you intend to.

  5. Has anyone ever used the Manucurist polish and have a review? I’m tempted by the active glow line, which looks like the jelly gel polish I like, but I’m trying to avoid gel.

      1. Agree – I kept seeing the ads on Instagram and bought it. It is fine but not really any different from a light pink Essie polish.

    1. Assuming your dentist gets a kickback for selling it to you, do you have a problem you are trying to solve?

      My former dentist constantly tried to push me into all kinds of cosmetic procedures of varying invasiveness. None of them were specific to any real problems, and all of them would involve thousands of my dollars and years of my time to implement, with no actual benefit beyond potentially “whiter” and “straighter” teeth. My bite is fine, my jaw doesn’t hurt, my teeth aren’t causing me any issues.

      I changed dentists and asked the new one whether I needed any of those procedures. He confirmed that unless I had a problem (pain from a misaligned bite, discoloration causing embarrassment, etc.), there was no medical need for them.

    2. My cosmetic dentist talked me out of it. They loosen your teeth like braces did and as you get older that’s not a good thing. Unless you have a major issue or are under 30, I’d live with what you have.

    3. My dentist recommended it to me about six years ago. I moved, new dentist recommended it and even recommended pulling a tooth to do it! I got a second opinion, and I’m very glad that I did. The second opinion said that my bite was causing damage (I had actually chipped my front tooth), and I could do nothing, but my bite was getting worse based on looking at a few years’ worth of x-rays. She also said that removing a tooth was definitely not necessary. Needless to say, I stayed with the second-opinion dentist and I’m using invisalign now. Late 30s, fwiw.

    4. It seems like all dentists are trying to sell it to adults now. Unlike braces, Invisalign is easy and very low-effort for regular dentists to offer. Most middle-aged people were only told to wear their retainers for a year or so after braces, so you really can see a bit of drift. Given the popularity of botox and other pricey cosmetic treatments, it doesn’t surprise me that adults are springing for Invisalign. Only perfection is acceptable, especially if you are on the job market.

    5. I’m currently about 25% of the way through my treatment plan (I’m doing SureSmile, which is functionally the same as Invisalign). I was also skeptical when my dentist suggested it, but I have a bite misalignment that is causing teeth damage, so the goal is to get that corrected, and the cosmetic effects are a bonus. It’s been pretty painless so far, more annoying than anything with having to take the retainers out to eat, drink, etc. My insurance covered a lot of the cost so I figured it was worth it.

    7. Go to an orthodontist.I got them as a adult because my teeth shifted and it was a great decision.

    8. I did Invisalign, now almost 22 years ago- top and bottom, to fix some slight shifting and overlap that happened because I never wore my retainers from my braces I had as a kid. I am now 57, and have worn my retainers (last trays worn as retainers- the retainers actually allowed shifting so I moved back to my last trays) ever since finishing, 18 months after starting. I can count on one hand how many nights I have skipped wearing in 22 years, and they look great. It was my ‘one thing’ that always bugged me about myself, letting my teeth get crooked again. This time it was on my dime, and I wasn’t going to let myself down. I sought out an orthodontist for Invisalign, and never had any issues.

  7. Broke up 2 weeks ago with my long term BF. I started to resent his priorities because I didn’t feel like a priority. We are not talking at all, cold turkey. I think I’m numb. I miss and think about him way less than I thought I would. But I don’t know how long it’ll take for me to find a new normal. Experiences?

    1. no normal. do what feels right. you may not be numb, sounds like it wasn’t a good relationship so kudos for you for letting it go!

    2. Eh sometimes that happens, if you’re not sad, don’t think you have to be. And don’t waste valuable time moping because you think you should. I had a breakup like this and got back out there right away and met my husband a week later.

      1. This. When I broke up with my long term college boyfriend I thought I was going to be crushed, but honestly I wasn’t really. I realized I lingered in the relationship for too long and was already “over it” by the time I actually broke up with him. After a week or two I was already into a new routine and doing completely fine. It helped that my closest friends and family weren’t big fans of him haha (he was actually a very nice guy, they just thought he was a bit of a meathead).

  8. Is there some trick to cookie sheets so that they stay looking nice? Either in what you buy or how you use them? I feel like mine always look kind of gross even when clean and have weird discolorations after the first time I use them.

    1. Use parchment paper or a silpat (but that can change how things brown if you’re particular about that). Otherwise accept that they’ll get stained eventually. Bar keepers friend can help with clean up.

      1. Don’t use a silpat for cookies with butter (maybe also shortening) because the cookies will spread like crazy. Unless you like very large, thin cookies. I like using parchment paper and you can reuse it a bunch before it completely disintegrates.

    2. Weird discolorations are good—they’re a sign that the cookie sheets are well-used.

    3. Heavy gauge aluminum sheet pans, never ever dishwasher them. Scrub any baked on stuff off after each use, don’t shy away from abrasive cleaners and tools.

      Avoid coated steel, nonstick layers, etc.

    4. The instructions for a lot of baking sheets specify hand-washing; I think dishwashing them causes discoloration. Acidic foods can also discolor them.

    5. tbh, I think cookie sheets are just supposed to develop a patina. It’s the nature of cookie sheets. I’ve just learned to appreciate the patina – they’re not dirty or less effective because of it, so what does it matter?

      1. Agreed, this is a non-issue. Cookie sheets develop a patina pretty quickly with normal usage. They are not supposed to look new if they are used! Any photos/videos you are seeing with shiny new-looking cookie sheets are probably baking on one sheet and moving the cookies to a different shiny sheet for the video.

        Please don’t replace your cookie sheets because they have a patina, that is so wasteful! A cookie sheet can literally outlive you.

        1. I’ve got cookie sheets from my great grandmother! They’re fully brown instead of silver, but they’re sturdy and virtually nonstick at this point and they’re full of love and memories.

    6. Barkeepers Friend. Our Nordic Ware sheets are 10 years old, used every day, and look new.

    7. I consider them semi disposable and buy new ones roughly every year. Use parchment paper too but something always leaks and gets gross.

        2. If they are the cheap, thin, coated ones like you find at a supercenter, I can see this being necessary. Good quality pans are pricier but also so much nicer to cook on for decades.

    8. Aluminum cannot ever go in the dishwasher; the dishwasher will ruin it, and I wouldn’t use the ruined surface as a food surface after that.

      Stainless steel discoloration is not a big deal, but you can use Barkeepers Friend to polish it up if you care. I think most people who are at all serious about cooking do not really care off Instagram.

    9. The trick is to scrub them with a SOS or Brillo pad. Mine look pretty much new despite decades of heavy use. No, it doesn’t hurt them.

  9. Help me up my pool style game. In the last couple of years I’ve just thrown on old shorts and grabbed a towel and old tennis shoes when taking the kids to the pool. Other parents look so much more stylish! I bought a good black swimsuit, but I’m looking for recommendations for hats, a coverup, shoes etc. plus/cusp size friendly please!

    1. I wear a cute coverup (no recs unfortunately, mine is old from J.Crew) and wear the EVA big buckle Madrid Birks and it’s enough to look cute but still stay cool and comfortable.

    2. Tommy Bahama has good coverups. Jack Rogers has great sandals. I hate hats and wear a tennis visor.

    3. Amazon sells a ton of cotton dresses, I get a few of these as pool coverups every year. They’re cheap and look great at the pool.

  10. We got an email from the youth director of our house of worship that our kids were (a) in a space they were not supposed to be in (b) left a mess. I’m so embarrassed. Spouse and I apologized and we will talk with the kids. Is this wildly out of line or in the arena of mistakes kids make and suffer the consequences (closer supervision and fewer liberties)? We trusted them to follow the rules about where kids can be without us constantly watching them and they clearly did not keep up their end of the bargain. They are late in elementary school, old enough to follow this kind of rule.

    1. I actually work for a church, and there’s no need to be deeply embarrassed. This kind of stuff happens all the time. There are always some kids roaming or exploring or playing in the back corners of the building where they can make a lot of mess.

    2. Kids do dumb things. They need to face the music and learn from it.

      Credit to my husband here for the idea – make the kids read the actual email. Somehow, it hits harder when they get read the direct information and then have to answer to you. In my house, this would result in written apologies, going to the space they made a mess and either a) cleaning or b) volunteering an equal amount of time doing a similarly helpful chore, and they would lose electronics for probably 2 weeks. On top of that, going forward, they would 100% lose that privilege of freedom. For me, kids make mistakes (I know I sure did), but they need to really accept and learn them.

      Caveat – if my kids lied to me about any part of it, there would be BIGGER consequences, but that’s because that’s the one I’m big on – don’t lie to me.

      1. Fellow parent of elementary schoolers here and I agree with all this. Agree that this happens more often than you think, but also that they are old enough to know better and face appropriate consequences. My kids recognize that freedom to explore is a privilege, and on their end, it’s their responsibility not to make life harder for other people by leaving a mess! And we all make mistakes, and it’s part of growing up to accept responsibility for your mistakes.

        1. Spouse and I agreed that there are going to be major consequences (written apologies, suspension of a TBD list of privileges) but we are trying to get our feelings out before we deal with the kids. I don’t think they realize we know and haven’t tried to deceive us, so fortunately we don’t have that layer to deal with. Confronting them with the email is a good idea…we’ll do that.

    3. This depends. What space was it, and what kind of mess did they leave?

      If they were bored during your choir practice, wandered into the nursery, and left toys on the floor, that’s pretty normal. If they ventured into the office and left paperwork strewn around, that’s different.

      1. A kid space (library–we share space with a school) where they are allowed to go with adult supervision. It was unlocked and they went in without any adults.

    4. This is common, but they should be embarrassed of their actions and should face consequences including apologizing to the appropriate person and cleaning up the mess. I agree with the suggestion to have them read the e-mail. In fact, I would start the whole conversation by just saying “I want you to read this e-mail I got from Miss Becky” without mentioning what it’s about. Then ask them to tell you what happened and what they think they should do about it.

  11. help me find a new mattress! leaning towards costco for ease of delivery and returns if needed. DH and I are both side sleepers, queen bed, both slim-to-average builds. our current mattress is an old beautyrest, so nothing fancy and very overdue! leaning towards the purple renew or casper hybrid. I had a foam mattress previously and liked it. Have slept on sleep numbers and hated them. Is there actually a difference among the bed in a box brands or all they all basically the same?

    1. If I were this unfussy and didn’t care about edge retention, I’d just get a Zinus and save a lot of money (and never unzip it). But I’m not sure how returnable they are.

    2. I love Costco’s own Novaform mattress (which also comes in a box). We have one in our guest room, are currently sleeping on it because of ongoing reno in our bedroom, and I like it better than our own! And definitely better than the Casper in my kid’s room.

    3. As the poster who had posted in April about my old memory foam mattress getting fiberglass everywhere, make sure whatever you buy is fiberglass-free. Even if you never take off the cover, it can still leak out eventually and create a huge mess and hassle. I replaced it with Leesa who claim to make their mattresses in a completely fiberglass-free factory.

      1. I thought about you just the other day – we’re getting new fiberglass insulation in the attic and we found a few shreds of it in the house after thanks to sloppy contractors.

        1. I’m removing all our old insulation and replacing it with fibreglass-free insulation! I’m very much looking forward to storing things up there and not worrying.

    4. We have a purple mattress and we’ve been really happy with it. We’ve had it for years and it looks like the options have changed, but it was the mid-level one. While it’s probably approaching time to get a new one, we haven’t done anything because it’s still really comfortable.

    5. I really like my Sleepnumber and we’ve had it for over 10 years. Why did you hate it? I’m genuinely curious.

  12. What color would you paint the walls to coordinate with a blue sofa? The room can be a bit dark bc it will be for watching TV. Here’s the sofa we are considering, in Heavenly Naval Blue. Also considering the Olive Green.

    1. I’d go all in on navy or a mid-blue plus a dark wallpaper for a cozy and more designed look. For me, I’d lacquer the trim in a dark blue and wallpaper in something dark and fun.

    2. If you want it to be dark, anything from a dark forest green to a very dark plum will complement either blue or green sofas.

  13. I want to start working out with a personal trainer to do heavy lifting (squats, bench press, etc). How much should I expect to pay? I don’t have a home gym with racked weights, so I assume I’d go to a studio or gym.

    1. The cost wildly varies in my area. I’d figure out what you are willing to pay first and how often you want to meet with them, then search for a trainer who fits that and who you click with.

    2. i go to a small gym nearby that basically specializes in small group sessions. i think it was $65 a session to do it individually and $38 in a small group (it’s like 3 of us). i didn’t have to create the group, it was created for me and we are all at different levels and the trainer adjusts the weights/exercises to our needs.

    3. You’ll have to go through the gym then; my guess is the cost is proportional to fanciness of gym.

      As a data point, it’s $30-$40/hr at the city rec center in my mcol town (+$30/month for your actual membership); and that’s probably the cheapest possible (and often has a waitlist)

    4. I pay $160/session at a fancy gym. Seasons are 1 hour and 1-on-1. This is meant to be short term for me so I learn correct form and how to use all of the equipment at my gym, but it’s definitely pricey.

    5. I’ve paid between 70-90 per session, generally at gyms like Lifetime Fitness. You normally get a slight discount if you buy in sets of sessions.

    6. I pay $35-$50/hour at the YMCA (I also pay for a membership) in a LCOL area. Session cost depends on how many I purchase (so $50 for one session/ $35/per if I buy a pack of 12).

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