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Updated: Aug 20, 2024 232 Comments · by

Wednesday’s TPS Report: ‘Time Line Wink’ Ponte Knit Skirt

The Personal Shopper (TPS) |

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Nic + Zoe 'Time Line Wink' Ponte Knit Skirt | Corporette

Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

I always like a good pencil skirt with an interesting detail, and this $128 one from Nic + Zoe fits the bill. I like that it's different and interesting without being either feminine or masculine, which feels like it makes it very versatile. It's available in sizes XS-XL at Nordstrom. Nic + Zoe ‘Time Line Wink' Ponte Knit Skirt

Psst: Here's a plus size knit skirt with an interesting detail as well.

Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mailtps@corporette.com.
(L-3)

Sales of note for 9.19.24

  • Nordstrom – Beauty deals through September, and cardmembers earn 3x the points (ends 9/22)
  • Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
  • Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Boden – 15% off new styles
  • Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
  • J.Crew – 50% off select styles — and 9/19 only, 50% off the cashmere wrap
  • J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 50% off sale with code
  • Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
  • M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
  • Neiman Marcus – Friends & Family 25% off
  • Rag & Bone – Friends & Family 25% off sitewide
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – Anniversary event, 25% off your entire purchase — Free shipping, no minimum, 9/19 only
  • Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
  • Tuckernuck – Friends & Family Sale – get 20%-30% off orders (ends 9/19).
  • White House Black Market – 40% off select styles

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Comments

    • Wanderlust

      I disagree. It reminds me of the bottom of half of a female flight attendant’s uniform.

        • AIMS

          I am also not a huge fan, not least because pencil skirts have a tendency to rotate on me and this one would make that fact extra obvious.

        • Sydney Bristow

          I like the skirt, but I would really love to see the pattern on luggage.

      • S in Chicago

        And the plus version looks like a motorcycle gang got into a scuffle in the middle of a board room.

  2. Diana Barry

    I like this skirt.

    Wearing my white suit for the last time this summer since I am out next week…summer is too short!

    • Cb

      It is too short! I’m back in boots and tights and was tempted by my down gilet this am. It is still August (in Scotland, but still!).

      • preg anon

        It’s always funny to me to hear people looking forward to summer and lamenting it when it’s gone. In Texas, summer is way too long. We should start to get highs in the 80s in September, and I cannot wait.

        • JJ

          Amen. Summer sucks and I’m ready for it to less than 95 degrees and crazy humid every day.

        • Senior Attorney

          And in So Cal, we’re just getting started with summer in August. September is our hottest month, and October is fire season (because the brush has been drying out all summer and the rain doesn’t start until late November or so).

          • Anonymous

            @ preg anon – seriously? You don’t think someone who lives in So Cal has a right to complain about FIRE SEASON just because So Cal has otherwise nice weather? People lose their homes, and sometimes their lives, to fires on a nearly annual basis. If you spend any time in San Diego or Riverside counties, it’s next to impossible to NOT know someone who has been personally affected by the fires. There are no words to describe how terrifying it is to see a wall of fire coming for you, your children, your home… and even if you live in an area along the coast that you THINK is safe, the fires can JUMP ACROSS THE FREAKING 5. But that’s OK, let’s minimize the tragedy and suffering of hundreds of thousands of people because their weather is lovely MOST of the time.

          • oh brother

            Aaaand apparently weather is no longer a safe conversation topic. Now I’ve seen it all.

          • preg anon

            Oh please. I was in no way diminishing those experiences. Do you recall that Texas had terrible drought and fires just a few years ago?

          • Anon

            It’s been summer since May in So Cal. My house nearly burned down because fire season is now “all year” and not just October. This has been the strangest weather this year in So Cal – no May Gray, no June Gloom, humid and hot in July, thunderstorms in August.

        • PHX

          In PHX, fall starts in late October. Then we have winter for three weeks at xmas. I’m so over with summer right now, but we’ve got another 6-8 weeks to go.

    • Mpls

      Eh – don’t be hemmed in by the Labor Day date. Even in the frozen northern Midwest, summer weather can still hang around into Sept.

      Of course we had snow until April and it rained all of June, so summer started a bit late too…

  3. Anon

    Different… yes. But not in a good way imo.

    Ladies, I have a pair of boots that I love but the zippers make A TON of noise for some reason. I don’t want to have to replace them but they make so much racket I can’t bring myself to wear them. Any thoughts on how to fix this?

    • Red Beagle

      Agreed on the skirt. Pattern does nothing for me.

      What part of the zipper makes noise? Does the tab rattle or…?

      • First Year Anon

        If the tab rattles, maybe putting something on the back of the tab to dampen the noise? I’m thinking something rubber or soft, not sure what you can use but I’m sure you can glue something on there.

        • LawyrChk

          +1

          I did this on a pair of booties with clear tape wrapped on the inside of the zipper. Worked like a charm.

        • KC

          Maybe a little piece of moleskin? You could also glue a piece of felt to the back of the zipper tab.

          • Coach Laura

            Yes, I’ve used the “moleskin or felt colored with a Sharpie” modification on a number of boots and shoes. It can be very effective.

    • Eliza

      When I’ve had an issue with tabs rattling, I’ve added a tiny dot of hot glue around where the tab connects to the zipper head. Let it dry, then work the tab a bit. The tab should move and be functional, but the connection will be stiff enough that the tab won’t rattle anymore. Sounds crazy, and I tried it in a moment of desperation, but it works and is invisible.

    • tesyaa

      Ask a shoe repair person. They can handle most zipper issues and are usually creative about fixing these kinds of problems. (Maybe the metal pull can be replaced with a leather one, for example).

  4. West Virginia

    I am a recent transplant to DC and want to plan a weekend in West Virginia for this winter (January/February) for myself, my SO, and the dog. We are looking to rent a small place (1 bedroom) on VRBO and do some snowshoeing and cross country skiing (no downhill). We would likely do a lot of cooking, etc. so don’t really care about resort amenities. We do care about having scenic places to snowshoe, though. Any suggestions as to location?

    I’ve heard of Canaan Valley, Snowshoe, Timberline, Winterplace, but have no experience at any of them.

    • kellyandthen

      My friends and I are doing this in October…sans snow activities of course. Renting a place in WV near the entrance to the ski areas/Monoghela (sp?) park. Check AirBNB–we’ve had great luck there and found a great place with a well-stocked, real kitchen.

    • Medic Maggie

      I’ve done CC once, at Whitegrass, and it was great. I’m not a good CC-er, but it was great, well-groomed trails that were suitable for beginners. It’s near Canaan (I think there are places at whitegrass that you can actually see Canaan and/or Timberline? Forgive me, but it’s been 10+ years. I have downhill-skied at Snowshoe and Winterplace, and from what I can tell, they’re both downhill-only resorts. But again, it’s been forever.

      For what it’s worth, my sister lives in DC and she and her family go to either Hidden Valley or Seven Springs in PA, and they say it’s a pretty easy trip to make from there.

    • Spirograph

      I don’t have a suggestion (and this vacation sounds really nice, so I might steal other people’s suggestions!), but I don’t think Snowshoe is really what you’re looking for. I’ve been there a couple times for downhill skiing, which certainly colors my perception, but it seemed like the resort was very focused on the mountain, and it is expensive if you’re not interested in the mountain or amenities.

      If you’re not totally set on West Virginia, I did a similar trip to the Ohiopyle area of PA last year and loved it. Good cross country and snowshoeing trails along the river, nice little towns to explore. Winter is definitely low season in that area, so many of the hotels are closed… we stayed at a B&B, but you may be able to find a rental-type place.

      • TR

        I second Ohiopyle! It is beautiful and not crazy expensive. Great in the summer and the winter! We stay at the Laurel Guest House (just g o o g l e it) for about $150 a night. Comfortable and clean!

    • SilverSpringWanderer

      White Grass (http://www.whitegrass.com/) is sort of the place to cross-country ski in the Canaan Valley. Blackwater Falls State Park, which is nearby, also has lots of trails for cross-country skiing or snowshoeing. I like Blackwater Falls a lot. I have not been to White Grass, but a lot of my friends like it there.

      Timberline is primarily downhill skiing, although you can use it to access Dolly Sods Wilderness to the east (you need to be comfortable with winter backcountry navigation for that). If you go to my blog and search for Dolly Sods, you can see pictures from the area. Snowshoe is a lot further away from the DC area (~5 hours).

      I have less useful information about where to stay. I like the cabins at Blackwater Falls, but they are not pet-friendly, unfortunately. The other times I’ve been there in the winter, we’ve camped in Dolly Sods.

  5. Non-mom

    This is going to sound awful and I’m sure the moms will jump all over me, but I am becoming very resentful of all the moms in my office. We are supposed to have 5 full people in our group, but we have 4 at 80% and me. Doing the math, this means that I am being allocated a lot more work. I know that my boss is picking up some of the slack, but I estimate that I have the load of 1.5 of a person. These positions really should be full time.

    I understand that the moms are paid proportionately less (though still more than me, because I’m most junior), and that it’s great to have a company that is supportive of women because I may have children in the future and because it’s just good overall, and that it’s important to support moms because they’re raising our future generation, blah blah blah.

    But, that doesn’t change the fact that I have no room for a social life because I’m working until 7:30 and on weekends, while the moms are leaving at 4;30. Or that when something urgent and time consuming comes up, I have to be the one staffed on it because I’m the only one that will be around enough, further increasing the load. Or if there’s a weekend issue, I’m always the one that is called in for emergencies because my schedule is less rigid. I’m really starting to just be frustrated by the whole situation. When one of them goes on vacation, I always babysit their work, because I’m the only person who is here the whole week, also bumping up my workload.

    I’m just annoyed that I’m working my tail off while everyone is happily living their lives, leaving me no time for my own activities/family/friends.

    • Anonymous

      Fellow non-mom here, and I hear you. Is there a way that you can establish stricter expectations about when you can and can’t be available? Is there some silver lining here you can try to be happy about, like doing the extra work being a good career move?

    • mascot

      Depending on how junior you are, this might be a bit difficult, but how good are you at setting boundaries? What happens if you say, no, I am sorry, but I can’t do x,y and z because I am over capacity? Suggest that they have someone else cover for them when they are on vacation if you really are swamped. Also, have you explored the possibility of you getting a bonus or salary increase that makes this worth it?

    • Toffee

      But it’s not the moms’ fault. It’s management. Either they shouldn’t have agreed to so many part timers or they should hire more people. And your concern is valid to bring up but keep it impersonal. You framed it as very personal when it doesn’t need to be.

      • Noelle

        Agree 100% with Toffee. Full disclosure, I’m a new mom and have had to start setting limits on my availability (e.g., I have to be out the door at 5:30 or else day care will put my baby on the street), where I used to be available (for better or for worse) 24/7. But rather than focusing your energy on complaining about the moms, it seems like this is management’s problem/fault. They’re saving money by paying the now part-time moms less. They can use that money to hire an extra person.

        Another thing — this may not be the case with the part-time moms you’re working with, but a lot of part-time moms I know are “part time” only in theory. I leave at 5:30, put my kid to bed by 7:30, and then — on a week like this one where I have a million pretrial filings due — worked from 7:30 to well past midnight at home. I’m sure I’m being over-sensitive here, but it’s not always the case that just because someone is out the door that they’re at home leading a merry, carefree existence….

        • tesyaa

          I get your point, but I hope the daycare won’t *really* put your baby on the street…

          • anne-on

            Nope, most will charge you a fee for every minute you’re late after they close. $5/minute after closing time is the norm around here. First time is generally forgiven, but its a pretty common policy.

          • Meg Murry

            Ours isn’t quite so high (its $5 every 5 minutes) – but they also have a policy that says if you use it more than X times in Y time period they kick you out of daycare, which would be a way huger problem for us, since all the daycares in town have pretty long waiting lists.

          • Blonde Lawyer

            One near me made the news for calling child protective services for kids that weren’t picked up. Makes sense if the parent is two hours late. Maybe they got in a car accident or something. But they were calling for parents that were 15 minutes late! At least the news article painted them as wasting city resources.

      • Diana Barry

        +1. This is 100% a management problem. The same thing happens at my firm when the depts are over capacity – they will.not.hire any more people but they will, and do, work the person who doesn’t have any kids to the BONE. The parents will say no and it gets dumped on the most junior person.

      • DontBlameTheKids

        Agreed. The moms are at 80% and paid for 80%. If they were getting paid more and supposed to be working at 100% but being given “perks” or just management looking the other way, it would be different. This isn’t about moms, it’s about management taking complete advantage of you, and not meeting their hiring needs.

        I would have a sit down with management and talk about the increased expectations, maybe a raise, or setting boundaries.

      • Thoughts

        Agree. I read this as an opening to ask for more money, if the staffing issue won’t be addressed directly. Not sure why you should steam silently at the others in your department, when it seems like you should approach your manager and lay out the very practical reasons why you are deserving of a raise/more vacation time, etc. I.e., more work = more compensation. Getting angry at co-workers who presumably have also approached management to alter schedules/reduce pay seems so futile and like a waste of your mental resources.

    • Mom here

      I used to be you. Having children made have a backbone for once about setting limits. Turn off the d*mn blackberry. Drop it in water if you have to to be unavailable. It’s an area where it’s hard to start, but you can take baby steps. If not, some day you will be me, wondering if you can bring a portable printer into the delivery room b/c your water breaks when your water breaks (which had great wifi <– not a good sign that I know this).

      • JJ

        Agreed completely. You need to set stricter boundaries. It’s easier said than done (and it did take until I had kids before I was able to do it), but it’s up to you to manage up and set expectations regarding your availability. If you’re not covering for people working 80%, then management will realize that they might need to hire another resource to help you.

    • Anne Shirley

      That really isn’t a complaint about moms though. They are doing less work and being paid less. If 4 people at 80% isn’t enough support, your manager needs to hire someone else. This isn’t about moms being difficult, it’s about bosses being difficult.

      • tesyaa

        Yes. And the fact that the moms are paid more than the OP for working less is irrelevant.

        • Anon

          You seem to have completely ignored the fact that OP said she was junior to the moms.

          Should a 2nd year associate suddenly be paid as a 4th year because they work with 4th years who have 80% schedules?

          • tesyaa

            I agree with your viewpoint, so either I wrote my comment wrong or you read it incorrectly.

        • Mom here

          Agree here, too. It’s like me being at work and complaining that the big boss golfs a lot with his clients every Friday (so it’s like he’s at 80% and he makes way more that I do). He’s doing him. If I do my job right, some day that could be me (but it will never be me if I don’t do something positive to make that happen and I can’t complain my way into, no matter how unfair the situation seems).

      • Meg Murry

        Yes, 4 people at 80% is actually only effectively 3.2 people. So if your department used to be 5 full timers, and there is 5 people’s worth of work but only effectively 4.2 people in the department you are understaffed. Can you lobby the management to either:
        1) Hire an additional full-time or 80%-er
        2) Hire an assistant / paralegal etc to make up some of the difference?

        But I do have to say your complaints also sound a lot like other junior people that post here – getting dumped with covering for everyone on vacation, always being asked to pull the nights and weekends, etc. Can I ask – what happens if you say no?

        • Anonymous

          Not OP, but I’m always concerned that if/when I set boundaries, it’ll just look like I don’t want to work or am uncommitted or uninterested since I don’t have a “legitimate” reason to be away, for example children. I don’t think anyone would actively accuse me of that, but I have to wonder how much such a thought might subconsciously cloud a superior’s judgment.

          • Toffee

            Yeah, the boundaries suggestion just isn’t realistic for juniors. It’ll definitely negatively affect us at review time. Presumably, it also negatively affects moms.

          • anon2b

            Not childless or junior but I have trouble with deals blowing up when I’m leaving for vacation or closings that slip to when I’m supposed to be on vacation. Or even a boss that wants me to work because someone else has “airplane tickets/reservations.” The only thing that works for me is to “have reservations at X place.” Otherwise people expect me to take care of it, if for example I’m just visiting friends or going camping or whatever. I’ve not been above “inventing” plane reservations. It might backfire if I ever ran into anyone from the office during the time but that’s never happened and is unlikely to, given our large city.

        • Former Partner, Now In-House

          I can tell you what happens if you say no (at least at my firm): you don’t make partner. Because you are “not committed.” Being “not committed” is one of the seven deadly sins. “Not presenting well” (an amorphous comment about how partners perceive that clients perceive you) is another.

          And to follow up to Anonymous at 10:49, partners absolutely said the phrase “not committed” out loud about particular associates.

          • Medical Issue

            But do mothers/fathers who are also working part-time or otherwise leaving “on time” make partner? That’s the question.

          • TXLawyer

            I’ve also heard “not a team player” to describe childless associates who say no.

          • eh230

            I actually got told at review time at my former firm that I was “not committed” because I took my full 12 week maternity leave. Some people just suck.

    • OttLobbyist

      I agree that this is a bad management situation fundamentally, but I feel for the OP. That expectation that you are totally willing to step up because you don’t have any childcare responsibilities is heavy. Sometimes it feels like you are supposed to pay now by carrying more of the load and being the universal back up because eventually it will be your turn. But what if it isn’t? How do you get that extra investment back then?

      • tesyaa

        I don’t know what to say except that life isn’t always fair. Sometimes we pay our dues and don’t get back what we deserve. However, in this case I agree that management isn’t doing its job and the OP needs to set firmer boundaries. I don’t think work-life balance is meant for only a specific class of people (e.g. parents).

      • Anonymous

        You get it back in making more money and advancing faster and farther in your career.

      • nutella

        I feel for OP, too. So many posters above have said to set boundaries and then also said that they weren’t able to do it until they had kids. Why not suggest *how* to set those boundaries when you are still junior and childless?

        • Toffee

          +1. I’ve pointedly asked this in a mentoring organization and they had no suggestions.

          • Burgher

            My workplace is very big on work-life balance. There is a section devoted to it in our annual reviews and it is now company policy that interns & level 1s (our equivalent of junior) employees are not allowed to work over 40 hours a week. I realize that’s not helpful for how to set boundaries, I just wish that more places were like this! I think it needs to start at the top.

          • Toffee

            Wow, that’s awesome. Although I don’t mind working over 40 occasionally for an important project that I enjoy, especially if I expect some recognition. I do have a problem with the childless senior associate saying I’m not committed because I need to sleep and can’t work until 3 am every single night for three weeks solid.

        • Non-mom

          Yes- I am finding it impossible to set these boundaries while junior and childless. There is no way I can justify leaving on-time to go to the farmers market with friends, over someone needing to get home to have dinner with their kids. So when push comes to shove, I have to stay.

          • anon

            Fellow non-mom here, who agrees. Not junior. There is simply no way I could leave early every day for life related things. Moms and Dads do it every day. I have no excuse not to be on my BB all night, every night. The parents do. Kids are a choice, and in reading these comments, it seems like a lot of people forget that. All parents made a choice for a big, full-time, outside-of-work commitment when they elected to have kids. Which is fine. However, the sense of entitlement related to work and the level of expectation that others can pick up their slack, no problem, gets incredibly frustrating.

        • Samantha

          I’ve seen non-parents successfully set boundaries when they have an impressive, time-intensive hobby. For example, one analyst was a chess champion and had to go do chess stuff, he set clear boundaries and was able to stick to them. Similarly someone who was an accomplished athlete or ex-marine etc. would leave to do fitness related stuff and (like parents) often log on later at night, and this would work.
          For some reason, leaving just to unwind (going to farmers market) etc. is not viewed the same way by partners etc. because it’s seen as flexible and not time-critical.

          • No Kids Here

            Because it is flexible and not time critical……..? Farmers market or [insert activity of choice here] is not the same as a child, sorry.

          • Anon

            Having a child is a life choice you make – I don’t understand why I, who have made the oppos i te choice, should be forced to accommodate your life choices

          • Anon

            Having a child is a life choice you make – I don’t understand why I, who have made the oppos i te choice, should be forced to accommodate your life choices

        • JJ

          Well, if you work at a place that will actively punish you or take it into account that you have a life outside of work when considering promotions/pay raises, I can guarantee that they’ll also take it into account against working parents that need to leave at reasonable hours for childcare reasons.

          When you’re asked if you can stay late, ask if it is an emergency that needs to be done tonight because otherwise, you have prior committments that can’t be cancelled. Don’t respond immediately to after-hours emails. And if it’s that bad, start looking for a new job at a place that understands employees have lives outside of work–even the child-less ones. I promise those places exist.

        • Anon

          Honestly when you’re junior you can’t. There is a certain amount of dues paying time. What you can do is get a lot of experience when you’re junior so you have options when you’re senior. I don’t have kids but I’m senior and I have no issues setting boundaries for the things I do in my free time now.

          • JJ

            This is also very true. Regardless of status with kids, being junior means paying a lot of dues and earning “sweat equity” so that you can enforce limits when you’re more mid-level and senior.

          • Senior Attorney

            This, this, this. The OP has a chance to really shine here. Put your head down, do the work, by all means negotiate more money, but grab the experience and exposure while you can and make it work to your advantage! It won’t last forever and it can really benefit your career if you see it as an opportunity to strut your stuff instead of a punishment for being single.

          • Jen

            Many of us are already putting our heads down and have been doing the work for years–the issue is that if we continue to do that without some more respect for our free time, then we will end up unable ever to have enough time to find a partner before we age out of being able to have children. And if one more person tells me to just freeze my eggs, as if that’s an easy and affordable alternative to being able to actually have enough free time to find a mate, I will scream.

            Frankly, just putting up with it is not enough when we’ve already been paying our dues.

          • tesyaa

            I’m not sure I understand. If you leave at 5:00 or whatever for your social life, will your career progress stagnate or will you be fired? There’s a huge difference. If finding a mate is a priority, I’d be willing to accept career stagnation in return for a chance at dating. If you’re going to be fired (and you have no other options that don’t involve 80 hour weeks), then you are really in a difficult situation.

            Either way, it’s not the fault of people who are on 80% schedules.

        • Mom here

          I think you have to start small. And maybe give a warning. And be as helpful as you can (and as pro-active as you can) while you are in the office.

          I’d start by carving out weekends, and then start carving out evenings (back in the old days, you could give your blackberry a sleep cycle, so mine was always off at its curfew time; now, I think you make yourself stop checking in at 11, then 10, then 9, etc.).

          “I am going to be rafting this weekend and will be out of pocket. [Is there anything I can get a jump on now so it doesn’t need to be tended to again until Monday?] [EVEN IF THIS IS NOT IN FACT TRUE. YOU CAN “CANCEL” YOU PLANS OR PLANS JUST DON’T PAN OUT.]

          Join an evening activity (it is easier to say “I have my accounting class now” even if it eventually becomes “I have my class now” and that class is tennis or having dinner with friends). I’m not advocating lying, but figure out what a passable excuse is (people don’t argue about kids b/c if you don’t pick them up, social services gets called) and start doing that as practice and then when you are more confident, do something you want. It’s no one else’s business anyway.

          Put appointments on your calendar for your free time / activities so that people don’t schedule things in there (if they have access to your calendar). I had someone say to me once that my calendar said I was free at 8am when that was the cyclone of hell: backing bottles, driving to day care, doing the drop off, making sure I hadn’t forgotten any pump thingies, driving to work, hauling stuff into work, etc.

          Don’t hate the player (your 80% coworkers); hate the game.

          • nutella

            Very good suggestions!

            I don’t know if this is what OP was getting at, but at least for me, I *want* all the things the moms have. But because I didn’t find a husband at 20, I’m stuck now trying to find Mr. Right in hopes of one day being a mom and to make room for that search now in the work schedule. As it does feel like saying “I have kids” is the trump card, it can get me down when it’s hard to even schedule the dates that could make that family life even possible. Haha. I don’t hate you moms, I promise!

          • Jen

            I feel exactly the same way, Nutella–it’s so frustrating not to have my time respected as much as parents when what I am trying to do in my free time is engage in activities or date so that I can one day find a partner and have kids. It’s totally unfair that the bad luck of not finding the right person earlier in life also means my personal life and time will be less respected than my peers for what could end up being a decade a more.

          • Mom here

            Another thing that can help is also to pick a work night to work very late one night a week (like a Tuesday) and advertise this so that you can cram a lot of work into a place where you mind less, but advertise it like “I’ve got something on Thursday, so I’m going to stay late on Wednesday to get ahead. Is there anything I can take care of for you then?”

            It might not help if there is an emergency, but it gets you in front of a person as someone who is pro-active and helpful.

            Might you also ask work that if you are routinely working 50-60-70 hours a week, you could have a flex Monday (no emergencies happen then like they do on Fridays) so that you could get your car inspected / let the cable guy come by /whatever?

            The thing is, that you can fiddle around and see if something works.

            And meanwhile, see if any friends in similar jobs are really happy where they are. Network during lunch. Knowing that walking out the door is an option may give you a sense that you lose nothing by trying and can go somewhere if the situation doesn’t improve.

            Finally: maybe it’s time to hire someone who is junior to you (with the expectation that that person covers the misery hours until the next junior person rolls in). Maybe pose it as “can we get an intern” / college senior / etc.?

        • Char

          It’s easy to just say “set boundaries!” like it’s the OP’s fault for being over-worked. Obviously, there’s a management issue but it’s not so simple for childless employees to say “no” to work.

          • Char

            I completely understand that it’s not easy for both childless and parents to say “no.” But when a parent says “no,” the general consensus, here on this forum, at least, is that it’s more understandable when a parent says “no.” That same consideration is not given to childless employees.

      • anon

        Exactly. If the person working 100% is now getting pushed to work 125% (for example), then why aren’t the people working 80% similarly overworked? Because people don’t respect boundaries if they are not related to children. And it’s very hard to set boundaries if not related to children because then you look like you are not committed and you will be punished and talked about for it.

        • anon

          I don’t think it’s all clear that the p/t people aren’t getting pushed; it’s just that they are not necessarily staying. I’m p/t, and when I’m busy I leave at the same time and work later.

        • West Coast Lawyer

          I think you are underestimating what the “80%” people are actually working (see prior comments about leaving at 5:30 but then hopping back online after the kids are in bed). When I was on an 80% schedule I used to tell friends that I worked 80% of a crazy lawyer’s schedule, which was approximately 100% of a normal job. If everyone at my level was billing at 125% you can bet I was billing over 80%. It does get proportionately ratcheted up, but I’ll be darned if I’m going to take a 20% pay cut (not to mention pretty much kill any chance of becoming partner) to work at 125% with everyone else.

        • Anon

          This 1000++++. I am the childless single person on my team. My colleagues routinely leave by 5:15 or 5:30 most nights, and don’t work weekends; we have one p/t person with kids and she never volunteers for anything extra. I get in at 8 most mornings and am lucky to be out at 6:30 once a week. My boss frequently assigns me things “because [you] don’t have kids or a husband”. I frequently have to handle client site visits because I’m childless and single. I have a time intensive hobby/sport (horses) but it’s not given the same respect as children. It’s definitely the fault of management but it’s also a cultural thing unique to the U.S. We simply don’t value work/life balance in most intense fields and we only grudgingly accept it where kids/childcare are concerned (probably because employers fear litigation). I have no good answers. As a woman, I want to be supportive of my female colleagues’ choices to have kids and pursue a better work/life balance but it’s really hard to feel that way when I’m picking up the slack. Despite these issues, I love my job. I do wish, however, that the work was better distributed and that I wasn’t penalized for being single and kid free. For what it’s worth, I’m not junior.

          • Anon

            Huh,same as you – not married and no kids and this just has never been my experience. If you’re senior are you sure you’re setting boundaries? I had issues like OP described early in my career (and so did everyone else junior) but once I hit a certain level I have always been able to protect my time.

    • AN

      It sounds like this is not the mums’ fault, it is the fault of the bosses/ management/ powers that be.

      Maybe you should discuss the workload issue with your boss.

      I fail to see how it is the fault of the people who work 80/ get paid 80. Whether they are mums or not is not the point. Even if they were single/ childless and working on those terms, you would still be snowed under, right?

    • SadatWork

      I know this is un-p.c. but this would p i s s me the h e l l off. Blaming it on management does not change the fact that I am still doing more work than others and being paid less for it. OP, I feel you pain!

      • Anonymous

        She’s a junior employee to the rest of them. That is why she is being paid less.

      • Anonymous

        I would be upset too, but not about the pay. The expectation that non-parents’ outside of work obligations or desires is less legitimate than that of parents is something I tend to resent. I understand the importance and difficulty of raising children, but as a lifelong childfree person, that doesn’t mean whatever I want to do with my life is any less legitimate.

        • Thoughts

          I agree to some extent, but it still falls to individuals to set up the expectations. I work with several people who have time intesive hobbies, and they have the same drop-dead departure times as the parents. But they also approached management the same way as they parents did – “I have X commitment; will be leaving at Y time.” If it resulted in a reduced workload, pay was adjusted accordingly.

          The people who seemed harmed are the ones who never say no, never ask for more money/better title/better opportunities (travel, etc.) and then stew silently at always being the “go-to.” full disclosure – I was a go-to, then realized it, set boundaries and life made a lot more sense.

          • nutella

            But I also think that some excuses go over better than others. It’s hard as a childless junior employee to say “I need to leave at 7” without a valid excuse. Wanting to exercise, cook a real meal, get a full night’s rest because you are falling asleep at your desk, or go on a date because how else are you supposed to meet ‘the One’ often aren’t seen as legitimate as other commitments.

          • Anonymous

            To Nutella. . . “personal matter”. “Family commitment” – you, your cat, your urban family, whatever. Ignore the haters.

          • Senior Attorney

            I did martial arts seriously the whole time I was in private practice. I made time to get to class almost every evening, even though I went back to the office after class a lot of the time. I still made partner, and it never hurt my career. In fact I think it helped because it was seen as a badass thing to be doing.

            And yes, that did go over better than “I want to go home and stroll over to the farmer’s market.” That’s the culture in a lot of workplaces. Again, it goes back to dues-paying. Careers are long and there will be time for the farmer’s market when you’ve got some seniority.

            But Anonymous at 11:14 is right… you don’t necessarily have to spell out the details. “I have a commitment” may get you what you need in a lot of places.

          • Flying Squirrel

            This. It can be done. DH and I were LD when he started his current job, and he just refused to work weekends so he could visit me. He is now the youngest person in a Director position at his company.

        • Mom here

          Absolutely.

          Even going on dates used to be problematic. 7 on a Friday — why should anyone not be able to make a plan then. And yet management at my old firm used to think nothing of intruding into that time (or trying to and grumbling).

          The breaking point was the date to some concert at Wolftrap on a Friday where I needed to leave downtown DC to get to my car and get past the I-66 lane restrictions before they gridlocked for several hours. You’d have thought I had said I want going home to tend to my meth lab.

        • TO Lawyer

          + a million – this is exactly the problem and I’m sorry you’re going through it. Just because we don’t HAVE to leave the office at a certain time and can be a little more flexible doesn’t mean that your out-of-office time is any less valuable.

          I agree with setting limits if you can. I definitely faced this the first year or so at my office and now, I work my hours (which I’ve informally set for myself and is still more than the parents in my office) and when I’m done, unless there’s a filing emergency, I leave the office and go see my friends or go to the gym or do something besides work. Same with weekends – I don’t work weekends unless I absolutely have to. It’s not perfect but it’s the best I can get. And I’ve started telling my boss about my plans i.e. family bbq, or dinner with friends etc. Maybe they sound more superficial than dinner with your kids but they are my plans and my life and ever since I’ve started doing that, he’s started to respect my off-work time more.

    • Contracts

      I would like to echo some of the advice already provided. I think you need to refocus your anger away from the moms into solutions you can address overwork issues with your management. Ultimately, you don’t know how much your coworkers work outside of their hours – whether they are parents or not. If you are overworked, address it with your management, without blaming your coworkers. Learn to say no. One day, you’ll need to lean out (even if you never have kids), and you’ll want your team and management to support you when that time comes. An employee’s work/life balance is important – as equally for people with kids as without. You’re not going to help yourself or your coworkers if you make this into a parent vs. nonparent issue. This is an employee issue. Because I bet the moms in this situation feel as stressed out as you do.

    • Miz Swizz

      I’ve experienced this to some degree as well and it sucks. I would like to have kids someday and I’m sure I’ll have better perspective once that happens. But at the same time, I work with parents who HAVE to have all school breaks off or leave early for things and it’s frustrating. I’d like to take time off too, but I have to work around my schedule, DH’s, work’s and now my coworkers’ kids’ too?

      I feel like it’s taboo to vent about this stuff because as a woman, it seems disloyal to complain about a working mom. So I share OP’s frustrations and I don’t have any advice, just commiseration.

      • SadatWork

        Un-p.c. again: but I am SO over having to plan around, make allowances for and accept excuses for other people’s kids.

    • Flying Squirrel

      I really appreciate the discussion here, but I’m really failing to understand why people take this out on the moms as opposed to the management’s double standard or inadequate staffing. As a new mom who was previously the one who stayed late more often (and for less pay), it never occurred to me to blame the parents who were working according to their set schedule (and for the percent of time for which they were getting paid). I blame the management for not having a plan to adequately pick up the slack. It also truly is the case that junior people may be more inefficient at getting their work done. I didn’t always think that was the case with me, but in retrospect I see it was.

      FWIW, there are other reasons people have reduced flexibility/hours than being a new mom. Being a new dad comes to mind…along with being ill or a care-giver or having a long commute or a time-consuming hobby or an SO in another city. I’ve seen all of these things impact performance, and the only one I hear treated as a negative or indication of a lack of commitment is being a new mom (by contrast, my DH’s otherwise crazy long hour job thinks he’s an awesome human being for setting limits so he can participate in caring for his child.

      Things will never get better for women, childless or not, if we keep singling out moms for what are clearly management or societal issues. Because even if you never plan to have kids, your management can’t know for sure that you won’t…so they will always be suspicious of your commitment or likelihood of leaving…unless the gender/parenting aspect is taken out of how we gauge commitment.

    • AnonLawMom

      Late to the party but I wanted to respond in case the OP is still reading. I have been in your shoes and now I’m a mom. If I could go back and talk some sense into junior AnonLaw(Pre)Mom, I would say: (1) schedule a real vacation twice a year and be vocal and unapologetic about it. This is not unreasonable and signals to your coworkers that you are a real person with a life and not a worker bee. (2) stop worrying so much about what your colleagues are doing. The fact that they work less than you and make more than you tell you a few things – that you are junior and you need more experience (primarily) and that you probably don’t need to be killing yourself the way you are to be successful. Learn their tricks rather than hate them. (3) Be careful about little things that give the wrong signals. Do not respond to non-urgent emails at night or on the weekend. If you have to, draft your response and wait to send until business hours. Do not work on projects during non-business hours unless there is truly a reason to do so (remember the saying “the prize for the pie eating contests is more pie”). (4) Make plans! Plans for dinner, plans for a yoga class, plans for whatever and stick to them. At first this will be uncomfortable but you really need to practice making your real life and the people in it a priority.

      I have seen countless young professional women burn themselves out in just 2 years or so by going down the path you describe. They can’t say no or set boundaries, they end up miserable, they start seeming frazzled and anxious at the office and it ultimately undermines their career way more than taking a few of the steps I outlined above ever would have. Or they quit before they ever really learn.

      In reading your post (and some of the responses) I hear a ton of resentment toward people who protect their personal lives. I may be wrong, but this reads to me more like you feel like should be doing that too (rather than everyone should be behaving like you). You are responsible for your happiness. Work is very important but you need to be sure you have a clear idea of your true priorities.

      • Anon

        So agree with this and your last paragraph. You are responsible for you. No one else is going to protect your time or care about your happiness so take it under your own control. Stop listening to the voices of people who value face time over good work. Do your thing and go home. Protect your time. If you don’t get promoted because if it, go elsewhere or don’t care – sometimes you have to pick between work and your life and that is regardless of whether or not you have kids. In short, stop being martyrs people. You have a lot more control over your lives of you just start owning them.

    • Laura

      I hear you, sister. I too am single, with no male prospects, and am tired of all the mom’s taking so much time off and I get to pick up the slack. The guys know I am a sap and dump work on me. I wish sometimes I was married but I dont think I could stomach having to come home to the same simp every night.

  6. Portland, Maine

    Hey ladies – not crazy about this skirt.

    My husband, 18 month old son, and I are headed to Portland this weekend and will be staying downtown. Any recommendations on what to see and eat? We’re all vegetarian (no seafood). Kid friendly recs please (both for food and sights). Thanks!

    • Diana Barry

      Go up to Freeport and visit the LL Bean stores – they have a giant fish river tank with trout! Tents! A huge boot to see, and occasionally backpacks as big as children! A bike store with a tricycle!

      Also, the Ben & Jerry’s is right in between the LL Bean stores.

    • Blonde Lawyer

      Little Lad’s is a Vegan buffet at 482 Congress. Not sure if they are open on the weekend or not. There is a pedestrian/bike trail around the Back Bay Cove that is exactly a 5k. Good for a pretty walk. Old Port is great for shopping, less exciting for the little one though. There is a train that runs along the ocean that could be fun for the kiddo but if I recall correctly it is one hour with no bathrooms which is why I never took it. The ferry to Peak’s Island is fun but there is not much to do on Peak’s. I think there is a children’s museum but I’m not certain.

      • Blonde Lawyer

        There is also a Whole Foods downtown with a huge delicious buffet. While I’m sure you want to check out all the awesome local eats, it is good to know you can get a quick vegetarian meal in a pinch.

    • roses

      I loved Boke Bowl for casual food (and they have big chopsticks with dinosaurs on them that kids would love). There was some kid-friendly entertainment when I was at the Saturday Market too.

    • Anonymous

      Eat at the Green Elephant. So, so tasty! And it’s near the Children’s Museum.

    • Maine Susan

      The Pepper Club on Middle St has vegetarian fare and is kid friendly. The children’s museum is next to the Portland Art Museum, on Free street, Both are worth a visit. If its a nice day and you want a boat ride you can also buy a ticket to Long Island or Chebeague Island and just stay on the boat for the ride back. Have fun.

    • Jen

      Salt and Straw has the best ice cream EVER. The rose and Japanese gardens are really lovely, and there’s an awesome playground in the same park area.

    • NYNY

      Old Orchard Beach is a sand beach about 20 miles south of Portland. Very old-school, with small amusement park type rides and a pier. I love it, though it may not be everyone’s taste.

      As for vegetarian food, it’s hard for me to imagine Maine without lobster, but you can definitely partake of blueberries this time of year. I had the best blueberry pancake of my life at Becky’s Diner, off Commercial street.

    • PortlandMaineGirl

      What a great time to visit my city :) I echo Green Elephant as a great vegetarian spot. I think you will find most restaurants in Portland will have good vegetarian options. Flatbread Pizza has a great deck right on the wharf next to the Ferry Terminal and is very kid friendly (great beer list, too, if you’re into that). Please try some of our excellent bakeries – Two Fat Cats for a whoopie pie, Standard Baking Company for pastries or a baguette, Holy Donut for a potato-based donut with lots of great flavors. The Eastern Promenade has a lovely walkway with a beach and I believe there is a playground – looks right out over the Casco Bay islands. There’s also an old train that you can ride along the bay (quick ride). Take a ferry ride around the bay – you don’t have to get off on an island but it’s a great way to spend a nice afternoon. You can drink on the boat if you are discrete :) Enjoy!

      • PortlandMaineGirl

        Also be sure to make your way out to Portland Headlight in Cape Elizabeth. Beautiful lighthouse surrounded by a park and old fort (called Fort Williams). And the Freeport recommendation above is spot on. LL Bean is classic Maine!

    • AnonLawMom

      Pok Pok. OMG – I would travel back to Portland just to eat there again.

  7. Lyra Silvertongue

    DH and I are heading up to Montreal this weekend. I think I am all set with activities and dining options, but I was wondering if the Hive had any recs for Canada-specific beauty products. I love stocking up on cool foreign options when we travel and I realized I never do this in Canada. If you want personal info to make more specific product recs (particular moisturizers and such), my hair is fine but fluffy, my skin is suffering from adult acne, and I am super pale. TIA!

    • In the Pink

      Don’t forget to pop into Harrods. Have a great time. Ooh great pastrami places and Entrecot St. Jean if you like steak sandwiches in a fine dining situation. Enjoy!

    • (Former) Clueless Summer

      I am sorry to burst your bubble but I honestly can’t think of any! It’s really the U.S. minus some stuff. Shopping in MTL is fine but not spectacular although you may want to check out places like Joe Fresh or Simons for fast fashion, considering there’s not many/any of those in the States.

      • Nonny

        So true. Lyra, as a Canadian resident, I get a kick out of the fact that you consider Canada cool and foreign. While I do think we are cool, I can’t honestly think of anything here that you can’t get in the States. In fact, I get super excited about travelling to the States because your shopping is so much better than ours.

        However, in terms of shops you could check out Club Monaco and Holt Renfrew as well as the suggestions above. I can’t think of any specifically Canadian beauty products though.

        • Lyra Silvertongue

          Haha, thanks for the replies! Glad we agree on Canadian coolness. I just see variations in consumer products everywhere, doesn’t have to be Bali or some place super exotic. Shopping for clothes and accessories wasn’t really what I meant, plus e-commerce makes worldwide shopping accessible at a lot of big/chain stores. I was thinking about how I stock up on beauty supplies on European travels and realized I’d never checked if you guys had any awesome under-the-radar (for Americans) products. Even one-off items, like particular hand cremes from one of the farmers markets or something. My small town has a lovely stall at our farmers market from which I get the best locally-made soaps.

          I think the only clothing store I check out regularly in Montreal is Tristan, because we used to have one near me but now there are none in the US and they don’t seem to ship here.

          The shopping thing always seems to go both ways. My in-laws get very excited about shopping in America, while I always enjoy shopping in their country, even at their local grocery store.

          • anon not to out

            I totally disagree. While Canada does not have amazing beauty products, Montreal pharmacies are stocked with French beauty products that are difficult to locate in the US. Check out La Roche Posey, Vichy, and Bioderma cleansing water (I always stock up in Montreal). If you like French skincare, you will find quite a few great things! I am very partial to French sunscreen and always stock up when I travel.

          • Anonymous

            I know you said you don’t want clothing shopping recs, but one fantastic store for women’s fashionable but conservative workwear that is frustratingly NOT online is Femmes de Carriere. It’s a female Canadian designer, multiple stores in Montreal and Toronto. I wish they had stores in the US, I would buy my entire wardrobe from there! Google them online, no stores but you can see the clothes.

    • RNSF

      Lacome has a line in Canada called Neocalm. It’s a very good moisturizer for sensitive skin and it agrees with my acne prone skin. Too bad they don’t stock it here, I get it every time I go to visit family.

      • Lyra Silvertongue

        Thank you for all the replies! The Neocalm line and the Vichy etc recs were just what I was looking for. And re: Femme de Carriere- I am looooving some of the dresses and coats. Bad news for wallet…

        • Andrea

          You can also get decent prices on over the counter (but still prescription strength) creams like retin-a and hydroquinon. I also buy a lot of Canadian cosmetics that are made from “natural” ingredients – brands like RockyMountain soap, Live Clean, Scentuals, and a couple others that are probably only sold in my community.

  8. Eliza

    Another weekend-getaway TJ: we’re headed to DC this weekend, and will be staying near DuPont Circle. Any restaurant recs nearby? Looking for a relatively casual meal, and are open to pretty much anything. Thanks!

    • A Nonny Moose

      You’ll be close to the new 14th street corridor, which has exploded with new restaurants over the past two years. I would just walk north on 14th until you see something you like. They have a mix of pricey and inexpensive, different cuisines, and most places don’t take reservations, so you don’t need to pla ahead other than leaving a bir before you actually want to eat (you will likely have to wait).

      Yelp never steers me wrong– “Logan circle” is the neighborhood 14th is mainly on for googling purposes.

      • roses

        +1. I find the dining scene in DuPont itself to be overrated, with the exception of Le Mirch in upper Dupont – definitely worth going to. My new favorite casual spot on 14th is Compass Rose, on 14th and T.

        • kellyandthen

          Roses, do you have a source for a full menu at Compass Rose? It keeps getting stuck on just starters when I try to look at it, and I want more! FWIW, I’m on a desktop, flash isn’t an issue. TIA!

          • roses

            Doesn’t seem to be working for me either, unfortunately – I’d call the restaurant and let them know. FWIW, they have many vegetarian (though not vegan) options, and although billed as “small plates” I find the portions to be very generous.

      • kellyandthen

        Irongate if the weather is nice…(though they have an inside dining room too). We’ve done the pre fixe and the a la carte and have not been disappointed.

        • roses

          Agreed, but the OP was looking for a casual meal, which Iron Gate definitely is not.

          • kellyandthen

            I guess I read OP’s “relatively casual meal […] open to pretty much anything” to include this type of place. I’ve had some relatively casual meals there. As in all things, YMMV.

    • A Nonny Moose

      And closer to you and more casual: Sweetgreen for amazing salads (really casual) and St. Arnold’s Mussel Bar for mussels fries and beers (go for happy hour and it’s very reasonably priced). Greek Deli for monstrous amounts of Greek food (know what you want before you get to the front of the line!), Hanks Oyster Bar, Julia’s Empanadas, and Kramerbooks if you want to read while you eat.

      • Gail the Goldfish

        I never thought I would miss a (probably overpriced) salad restaurant, but I really do miss Sweetgreen. (also Hale & Hearty in NYC).

      • Sydney Bristow

        I tried Sweetgreen in NYC a few weeks ago. It was really good and I understand why it is so popular.

        • Gail the Goldfish

          I have tried to recreate their Chic P salad on my own, and I just can’t get it right. I think it’s the dressing. So if you haven’t tried that one, highly recommend.

      • Ellen

        Yay! I wish I still were in DC now b/c the food sound’s great! When I was in DC, it was NOT as nice, and there were time’s that I wanted to walk (before I got my FITBIT) but there were alot of derilict’s on the street that alway’s made nasty sexueal invitation comments to me – (as if I would do those thing’s with ANY guy, let alone those sleezeballs!) . So I could NOT go to place’s in that area. Isnt it great that those area’s have gotten cleaned up? What happened to all the sleezeball’s that used to hang out on those block’s? FOOEY on them–I hope they moved out of town, or at least to the other side of the POTOMIC RIVER. DOUBEL FOOEY!

        If I had stayed in DC, I would have eaten in Georgetown (down Pennsylvania Ave, around 31st St). There are alot of good places, and probabley still are, and there are shoppeing places where you can get good clotheing but it is NOT cheep. So if your husband will give you spendeing money to let you go shoppeing there, do it b/c there are places there with beachey stuff that you do not see elsewhere that will make you look great if you are abel to take a day trip to Ocean City MD. YAY!!!!

    • dc lady

      I live in Logan Circle, and its been wonderful because of the access to great restaurants just around the corner. There are a ton of options in the area. My favorite places for a casual meal are Etto and Bar Pilar. I’ve never had a bad meal in either place. I also like Birch and Barley (probably doesn’t fit the bill for casual, though) and Churchkey (right above Birch and Barley near 14th and Rhode Island).

      After your meal, if you’re looking to sit outside and don’t mind a busy scene, I’d suggest going to the Standard for a beer (also on 14th).

      I also second Hank’s. Delish.

      As for Sweetgreen, I’d save that for lunch. While it’s excellent, I would say the options in the 14th Street area aren’t worth missing out on for Sweetgreen.

      I’d steer clear of Lupo Verde (14th and T). Very expensive for what it is and very disappointing.

    • Lady Tetra

      In DuPont itself, I like Pizzeria Paradiso, Ezme for Mediterranean, Boqueria for Latin-American tapas, and Teaism for tea and salty oat cookies (trust me). And I second the recommendation for St. Arnolds!

  10. Tieks Report

    Hate them. Too narrow for me, very flat toe box left no room to put toes in, leather cut into the backs and sides of my feet, zero arch support.

    In case any other high-arched wide footed ladies were thinking of trying.

  11. Red Beagle

    With black, I do like that pale blush that’s everywhere right now. To take the hard edge off the skirt, I would make it silk and drapey.

    • In the Pink

      Reds, blues, purples, greens – in whatever saturation suits you. I worry that the all black grey or black/white might well read too much like a “flight attendant” or some other sort of uniform.

      Of course, YMMV.

  12. Anonymous

    Hi there! Looking for recommendations on stores/online sites that might carry a lot of blouses/tops in particular made of natural fibers. I realized this morning that most of my tops are synthetic, and I just can’t get the lingering sweat smells out permanently (I’ve tried it all). I don’t shop recreationally, so I’m looking for a critical mass of options at a couple of places, especially for warmer weather (my cashmere works quite well in winter). I’m not a silk/cotton buttondown fan (they also make me sweat, and obviously so). My style is classic with a twist (Tahari sheath dresses, black pants) and my office is “professional casual”. Also, I’m a 14/16 hourglass which limits certain designers. Any ideas? (Pendleton, Boden?)

  13. Equity's darling

    For those of you with company stock option plans, how often do you cash out?

    • AN

      I actually cash out when they vest. But then my company’ s shares are very very stable and have barely moved in a long while.

    • Anonymous

      Never. The companies who have issued me stock have all been large corporations in good shape. I’m holding onto them for the long haul. My parents have held some for 40+ years and are now gradually chasing it out in retirement.

    • Equity's Darling

      I’m worried that I’m puting all my eggs in one basket- my job, my pension, my stock options are all linked to this one company. They’ve done well for the past few decades, and they are a large corporation, but I still worry that I’m not diversifying enough.

      • Anonymous

        Where are your other retirement savings? You’re young right? So I wouldn’t be just relying on the pension anyway.

      • anon not to out

        You are thinking correctly! Studies have shown over and over again that for employees, the best return is from cashing out stock options and investing the money in a better diversified portfolio. Most Americans are massively over-invested in their employer and under-diversified in general (which is what the employer wants – that’s why they give you options!). Take a look at Enron to see what can happen in the worst case.

      • Flying Squirrel

        We cash out when we cross a certain percent of our stock portfolio being all DH’s company (my employer does not offer stock options). DH gets a lot of stock and maxes out his employee stock purchase plan, so our portfolio can get heavily skewed to his employer pretty quickly.

    • Anon

      At vesting, I keep 15% of the stock invested and cash out the remaining 85%. While my company is a solid performer, I don’t like keeping all my eggs in one basket. Once I’ve met another financial goal (about 18 months from now), I may increase the amount I keep invested, but for now, this works for me.

      • Anon

        Oh, and in case it wasn’t clear from my original post, the 15% that I keep invested stays invested. So if in year 1, 100 shares vest, I keep 15 invested and cash out 85. If a second 100 vest in year two, I keep 15 and cash out 85 and don’t touch the 15 that stayed invested from year one, leaving me with 30 shares invested.

      • Equity's Darling

        This sounds like a great approach- thanks. I don’t want all out, because I do believe in the company, I just wasn’t sure where to go, but 15-20% feels right.

    • Anon2

      I cashout whenever I think it has made a good profit (this is a precondition for any sale) and I am or will be shortly in need of money for other investments (for two real estate properties that I bought). Good profit to me is the growth of around 50% in 2 – 3 years.The main reason I sell them is if I don’t, then I will have roughly 50K in a single stock in 2 years (as stocks are the significant portion of my compensation) which is not good from diversification point of view.

      I should also mention that I don’t own any other stocks. However I have a 401K type of plan where the money is invested in stock market. I am planning to buy some index stocks from January next year.

    • Nonny

      Wow, did you go in-house?

      Don’t mean to be stalky but I feel like I am way out of the loop, having been away for so long…

      • Equity's Darling

        Hahah, don’t worry, it’s not stalky- I sure did, about a year ago? 18 months? I struggled with my choice because was quite junior, but it’s been the best decision, I’m so happy.

  15. Anonymous

    Re-posting – I don’t think my comment made it through.

    Looking for stores/online sites that have a lot of blouses in particular with natural fibers. Not silk/cotton button downs, but more creative kinds of tops – short sleeve sweaters, wrap tops, etc.. My style is classic with a twist – lots of sheath dresses in great prints, etc. Somewhat price insensitive (up to $100?) for good quality. I’m a 14/16 hourglass too which knocks out a lot of designers. Any ideas?

  16. 2 Cents

    I want to like the plus size (I’m pro exposed zipper), but is it the styling? The tucked in shirt? The light shoes? I just don’t like something in the picture.

    And just to keep it three in a row this week: thank for the plus-size suggestion!!!

  17. Anon

    Can I just vent for a second, and maybe get some internet hugs?
    I found out yesterday that my mom has cancer. We are going to do everything we can to treat it, but the prognosis is not good. On the way home from the meeting with the doctor after I picked up my three kids, the radiator on my car cracked, leaving me stranded on the side of the road with three kids. Then once I got home, my husband got the results from his bloodwork and he has high colesterol and needs to go on medication. (Which is not the end of the world, but was really the straw that broke the camel’s back yesterday.)

    • tesyaa

      So sorry to hear the bad news about your mother. And I totally understand how smaller crises that would be manageable on their own can send one over the edge when also trying to cope with the bigger issues. Hugs to you & your family.

    • Spirograph

      Ugh, that is a terrible day. Hugs to you, and I hope your mom defies her prognosis!

    • Meg Murry

      Hugs. That is a lot to deal with, and I’m very sorry.
      On a practical side – may I suggest filing official FMLA paperwork now if your company offers it? At most companies, you can just put down “intermittent” leave, and that way if you want to take a day off to take your mom to the doctor or take care of her if she’s having a bad day after treatment the paperwork is already in order.

      And hugs again. May I suggest sappy movies (a la Nicolas Sparks, but not one of the ones where people are dying of cancer) to get some of the tears out?

    • Medic Maggie

      Big hugs. I am thinking about you and your family. I hope that you are able to get enough time both with your mother, and the rest of your family to manage this part of your journey. Get the support you need, too.

  18. Diana Barry

    Hey ladies – Lafayette 148 is on Rue la la today. I know they run big, but can anyone tell me *how* big it runs? Like if I wear a 6 in J crew except for an 8 in jackets, do I order a 6 or a 4?

      • AIMS

        It’s also available for a lot less on last call. Lots of items under $100, including this dress (which I believe Kat featured in another color) for $87: http://tinyurl.com/p9lhec8

        Their stuff usually runs long & def. big. I’d try a 6, 4, or even 2. If you have a Last Call store near you, order multiples and return what doesn’t fit to the store.

    • EduStudent

      I would order 1 down from your normal size.

      I wear X in tops/dresses, both at JCrew and most other places, but 1 size down in Lafayette. But I wear Y in pants and skirts typically, 1 size down from that at JCrew, and would probably order my JCrew size at Lafayette.

  19. Medical Issue

    Weird medical issue: an older family friend apparently developed mastitis despite the fact she’s not nursing. She previously had a lumpectomy and radiation in the affected bre@st, and she’s being treated with antibiotics. I never knew it was possible to get mastitis when not nursing. Just curious if anyone’s ever heard of this?

    • ELL

      My mother in law developed mastitis after spending a lot of time around a new grandbaby. (Side note: apparently some women who have not been recently pregnant–or who have never been pregnant–can lactate.)
      Anyway, not the situation you described, but I do know of at least that one case of post-menopause mastitis.

    • Happened to me

      I had a case of mastitis as a child, probably 11 years old. Obviously, it was unrelated to nursing. It was just a random infection that happened to take up residence in one of my barely there bre@sts. Antibiotics cleared it up.

  20. Anon

    Ladies,

    I need your help. I am mid-thirties and in the past month, my feet have gotten all cracked and weird. I wash them each night and then put on lotion and socks and it’s not enough. How do you get rid of the crocodile skin? This has never happened before. Ugh.

    • tesyaa

      I may be totally off base, so forgive me if I am, but is there any chance you have a fungal infection (otherwise known as athlete’s foot)?

      • West Coast Lawyer

        This sounds a lot like my husband’s feet, and the athlete’s foot sprays usually clear it up in about a week.

    • AIMS

      Google baby foot. Assuming this isn’t some medical issue, I have heard amazing things. Just don’t google while eating lunch.

      • k-padi

        That looks awesome! And gross! And Awesome! How do I try it without grossing my boyfriend out?

        Re: fungal infection. Fungal infections really like toes better than heels, and it burns. Unless you have a chronic, on-going fungal infection that has also invaded your toenails, heel cracking is not likely to be fungal.

        • AIMS

          Haha! Right?! My feet are actually not that bad and after reading about this I am almost hoping they get worse so I can justify doing it. Maybe you and BF can do it together?

        • L

          I’ll just be gross and say I get them on my heels a lot and they hurt, not burn and usually crack/peel. For some odd reasons, my toes are never impacted. Apparently, I’m a freak.

      • Moonstone

        I did Babyfoot. It was kind of insane. I didn’t really expect sheets of skin to come off, but they sure did. I actually skipped yoga because my feet looked so bad. It does leave your feet nice, but that smoothness lasts only a few weeks. I don’t like pedicures, so for me it was a nice alternative. High point was my guy saying: “Did you just say you will be in the bathroom soaking your feet in acid for an hour?” But don’t use it until your feet are healed.

      • Flying Squirrel

        I learned about this here a few months ago, and it has changed my life!! My formerly cracked, itchy feet now permanently look like I just had a pedicure!!

    • Anonymous

      Sudden change in a month? You have athletes foot or eczema or some other skin condition. Stop self treating with lotion, it can make a fungal infection worse, and get to the doctor.

  21. Nonny

    Requesting feedback on the current incarnation of The Skirt.

    I have two of the original Skirts, before Nordie’s started playing around with them (for reference – the original Skirts were very curve-friendly and people generally sized down in them – I sized down from my usual 6 to a 4). I am now looking at purchasing another one for the first time in over 2 years. Where is The Skirt in terms of fit now?

    Thank you!

    • anon

      the one that comes in colors (e.g. the one that Belle featured today on cap hill style) runs true to size and if you’re 5’4 or under you should probably get it in petites. I got it in a 6 (I’m 5’4, hourglassy and usually a 4 but sometimes a 6) and it was just too big and too long.

    • L

      I’m a 6 in other Halogen clothes, but I had to size down to a 4 petite for the Skirt.

    • Liz

      I’m 5’10”, athletic (muscular butt and thighs), 150 lbs, wear a 6-8 in most bottoms. I wear an 8 in The Skirt and the length and fit are perfect for me.

    • AIMS

      I like the way it’s styled with the navy silk blouse. Also gray, purple or burgundy (sweaters/tops) would look nice. You could also do a white button down and navy sweater vest/sweater. Something with a pattern would work too if you’re feeling a bit more adventurous.

    • A Nonny Moose

      I have this suit and wear it a lot. Usually with pink shirts. I have one that’s mauve-ish and one that is a bright raspberry. They both look good.

    • KittyKat

      That is such a subtle pinstripe I would probably style it like a solid. I think a polka dot blouse could be a good contrast in pattern, grey and navy are an amazing combo so is navy and cobalt. I would style it with a silk blouse or a cropped cashmere sweater for the winter. Seems like a basic and versatile piece, score! I dont like the metallic shoes as styled in the picture but I would definitely stick to pointed/almond toe.

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