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5/24/24 Update: The Nordstrom Half-Yearly Sale has started — see our big sale roundup! Also, sign up for our newsletter to stay on top of all the great sales!
The below content is about the 2016 Nordstrom Half-Yearly Sale.
I keep seeing more great things in the Nordstrom sale, so I thought I'd do another little round-up of some favorite accessories, denim, weekend stuff, and more. (For example, pictured at top — this great sheath dress comes in teal and black and is down to $58, in regular and petite sizes.) Ladies, what have you bought thus far at the big sale? (Also, not on sale at all, but these two affordable, casual tops look great and are selling out kind of quickly: a cold shoulder top and an off the shoulder top.)
Above: Beige heels / gray bag / navy heel / gorgeous station necklace!
Casual/going out dresses, above, $20-$99: High neck dress / Faux wrap dress / Zip pocket dress (comes in black and plus sizes too) / Sleeveless sheath / floral dress
Denim, $40-$150: denim Tencel shirt / denim shirtdress / flares / distressed skinnies
Casual tops, $23-$150: striped knot top / cold shoulder top / chiffon top / off the shoulder top
Workout, $28-$82: leggings (reader favorite!) / convertible tee / leggings / waterproof coat
Sales of note for 9.10.24
- Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Bergdorf Goodman – Save up to 40% on new markdowns
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off wear-to-work styles; extra 30% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything; extra 60% off clearance
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – BOGO 50% everything, includes markdowns
- White House Black Market – 30% off new arrivals
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TBK
What are people’s favorite budgeting systems? Apps or otherwise? We’ve been carefully tracking our spending for the last year and somehow there’s always slippage. We literally sit down every Wednesday night and go line by line on our credit card and checking account and enter each charge into a spreadsheet. If we go over in a category in the course of a month, we reallocate money from other categories to cover it, or we roll it over into the next month (i.e., we deduct that amount from the total available to spend in that category the following month). Somehow though it just literally does not add up at the end of the month, and I can’t figure out why. I’m thinking an app would help, but I worry that the way we do things wouldn’t work.
So the way our budget is set up, we have our big immovable expenses, like the mortgage, then the individual monthly expenses that can fluctuate but can be hard to control, like electricity or gas for the cars (yes, it can be controlled, but it’s not really discretionary), then we have food which includes both groceries and restaurants (and things like grabbing a soda from the vending machine at work), and then me/you/us. Us is everything we either share or that is for the family or the kids. So the kids’ clothes, gifts for friends and relatives, hiring a babysitter, stuff for the dog, etc. Me/you includes non-medical individual expenses. So fun stuff but also clothes and hair cuts.
I realize that asking an app to categorize the me/you stuff would be hard. There are some stores that only one of us shops at (my hairdresser for example would always just be a “me” charge), but it’s really something we need to sort through by hand.
Is there an app that could help us? I should add we put everything that’s not on auto bill pay (and even some of those) on our credit card, which we then pay off every month. We have a good rewards program so it helps to just use the credit card. So an app that just lumped “credit card” into one category would be useless. Even if the app could tally up the easy stuff — mortgage, internet, phone, etc. — and then make us sort the rest, and provide a running tally of amounts in each category and total spent, that would be hugely helpful. I just need something highly customizable. Does that exist?
YNAB
You Need A Budget (YNAB). You can set up whatever categories you want, import charges from a card and then confirm they are sorting to the category you want (me, him, us, kids, dogs, groceries, mortgage, etc.)
The current version (which has a 34 day free trial) is web based, with an Android and Apple app to view and add transactions (but not make budget changes) on your phone.
It comes with a particular philosophy about how to budget, which feeds into how you use it, so it may take some adjustments, but it was created by an accountant to basically be an electronic envelope system, so it’s not completely weird. They provide free tutorials to help you get started.
Anonon
Does this work for purchases from one store that might fill multiple catagories?
Like for instance, I may buy a prescription, a gift for my niece, and some groceries at the same time. Could I divide those out into three different spending pots? I’m always at a loss on how to handle charges like this.
Wildkitten
Yeah, it’s all manual.
YNAB
Totally – you can split a transaction into multiple categories you want.
It’s not something you can automate, and it won’t download the itemized receipt, just the transaction charge. But you can definitely split your Target run into whatever the appropriate categories are.
Sydney Bristow
I 100% agree with this. You’re already there with the tracking. You’ll just need to put it into the app going forward.
You can set up 3 separate budgets. The joint stuff in one with a line item for your monthly you/me amounts. Then you can each have a solo budget for your individual money if you want.
It’s extremely flexible. You can set up whatever categories you want, change amounts as needed, split transactions among different categories, and move money between line items if you go over/under.
Definitely give it a try with the free trial period.
Runner 5
I use Goodbudget which could fit your needs. I enter every transaction as it happens.
Lyssa
Ditto. It’s easy to keep track of that way, but you do have to commit to entering things by hand rather than having the system automatically do it (though that’s pretty simple and can be done with your phone immediately, and I think it’s probably better that way anyway, since it keeps you aware of what’s going on).
SC
I use YNAB. It’s great for tracking transactions in different categories. I put almost everything on a credit card (which I pay off in full every month), and I think the way it handles the credit cards is a bit wonky. But overall, I still love the app.
Sydney Bristow
I do the same. The cards get a little wonky with returns, but I make manual adjustments when that happens. I hope they change it. I think they’ve been getting pressure from business people who rely on reimbursement for business expenses on their personal cards.
SC
It actually works relatively well for me for business expenses. I created a “Reimburseable” category and have sub-categories for my husband’s business expenses, my business expenses, and other (usually a family member paying us back for something). I always budget “0” for it, and when the transaction goes through, I put it in the appropriate category. Since the category is negative, it’s orange until we get reimbursed, which reminds me that we still need to submit expenses or deposit or whatever. When the reimbursement goes through, I apply it to that category so it zeroes out.
The credit card is “wonky” to me because it shows the amount due as a positive in the “available” column. And that’s just not how my brain sees it.
emeralds
This is what I do, too.
And YNAB is awesome and would do everything the OP is asking for.
Anonymous
I just bought that floral Betsy Johnson dress – so cute! I sure hope it fits.
lseie
I was eyeing it too – sold out in my size but I like it so much I may size up and tailor it down!
Airport update
Thanks for the responses on my DCA question today – there was no line for precheck and the regular line looked pretty close to normal when I got here at 1 pm. Safe travels to everyone this weekend!
Bonnie
I tried on that faux wrap dress and it was ridiculously low cut.
Kk
Same here. The green wrap-skirt halogen dress has been a workhorse for me in the 3 weeks that I’ve had it- comfortable, flattering, and easy to wear when running through the airport this afternoon!
Spiralizer
Recommendations for a favorite brand of Spiral-izer? I’d prefer to spend less than $50, but hoping cheap doesn’t equal a bad blade or cheap plastic. Any recs and recipes appreciated!
JJ
I recently read that Cook’s Illustrated rated the Paderno brand the best. I have the Spiralizer brand and it works great, other than some of the white parts being dyed green from the zucchini. That doesn’t bother me, though.
Spiralizer
Just got an email from Williams Sonoma with both items in the picture. hence my question….maybe I’ll spring for both. Thanks!
Shopaholic
Check out Skinnytaste for recipes!
Gail the Goldfish
I got the spiralizer attachment for my KitchenAid mixer as a gift and it works well. I think it’s closer to $100 than $50, though.
KinCA
My mom loves her OXO brand spiralizer (I think it’s roughly $40). I have one waiting in my Amazon cart, but I haven’t quite pulled the trigger on it yet for some reason.
Anon
The Paderno one is the best. I think I got the old model (3 blades instead of 4, the 4th does angel hair and I didn’t really care about owning it) on Amazon for around $30.
Anon
Agreed. Tried out both the OXO and Paderno at home and the Paderno is heads and shoulders better for ease of use, safety and cleanup.
Beth
I have the Mueller one, which I liked more than the Paderno because there is a container.
Another Anon
I use a serrated peeler, which cost about $8.
anon
I own the Paderno one, and it’s pretty amazing functionality-wise. I didn’t get the angel hair attachment, so mine cost $39 I think. Honestly though? It’s bulky and I hate hauling it out of the cabinet to use it. If I were to get a re-do, I would buy a handheld version, I’ve heard good things about both the OXO and the Paderno handhelds. If you don’t already have one, look at mandolins as well, I use mine probably 4-5x per week for slicing, julienne or shredding, versus the spiralizer, which I probably use bi-weekly.
Anonymous
I just read that Blue Collar article about wearing your clothes 30 times. Feeling guilty. I am thinking about starting a checklist to keep myself accountable. I actually wear most things in my closet pretty regularly, but I have no idea if I end up wearing them 30 times.
Also, despite all that, I just ordered that Betsy Johnson dress. Argh.
anonymous
A couple of years ago I started keeping a spreadsheet that lists the item, date of purchase, how much I paid, and how many times I’ve worn it. It’s been very helpful to compare my actual vs perceived usage rates, and the categories of items that I think I’m going to wear a lot (and therefore shouldn’t mind spending more on) aren’t actually. So now I have a better idea of what my actual needs are and how much I’ll use what kind of item, and how many other items it’s likely to go with. I also realized that I’m less of a minimalist than I thought I was, although I don’t do too bad on that front. My entire work wardrobe (including shoes, belts, suit pieces, etc) has about 50 pieces in it, many of which double as weekend wear too. I also really like knowing each item’s price per wear. I really love this system, though I realize it probably seems kind of overkill.
Anonymous
Who doesn’t love a good spreadsheet? Data are fun!
anonymous
I know! I actually look forward to updating it every day.
Anonymous
Where do you keep it? Print/electronic? Do you track workout clothes and more casual clothes too?
anonymous
In Excel, that way it updates the price per wear without any additional effort from me. I’m starting to track workout/casual clothes as I buy new things. In some cases I feel like it’s really not necessary since I have 3 workout pants and 3 tops, and I work out every day. So for things like that I’m disinclined to track use since I know for sure I’m using all of it on a regular schedule.
Oh the other thing that this helps me track is how different items/brands hold up over time. I’ve been very pleased with Brooks Brothers, especially since I really only buy stuff there when they have their 70%off sales. JCrew is disappointing, but that’s probably not a surprise.
Sydney Bristow
Would you be willing to share it? I’d love to start doing that. My email is SydneyBristowe t t e at g mail.
Anonymous
I would love to see it to. Houstonian101@gmail.com
Anonymous
Me too! ltbrod at tds dot net
Anon
I easily wear my basics >30 times. Black skirts, shells etc. Favorite shoes no problem. And most of my weekend clothes I wear many times, because I have a very limited weekend wardrobe.
The items I wear less often are blazers, dresses and special occasion items. I do wear a “third piece” every day but I’m much more comfortable in something less rigid for a normal workday with no important meetings/presentations/appearances.
RTR Unlimited?
Has anyone tried Rent the Runway Unlimited? I’ve read about 10 online reviews, but most of them were from 2014/2015 when the subscription model was in beta. I’m curious if people find the turn around time on items is fast enough to make it worth it. I’m considering signing up because I’d like to pick out trendier bags for weekends without committing lots of money, and I like the idea of being able to pick out an outfit for a special event or weekend away with enough time to try it at home w/ accessories, etc and no rush to return.
Scarlett
I tried it & cancelled in the first month. I didn’t like it because I wanted to have more work options, like blazers & dresses without buying them. The stock in this category was really limited & I got messages back from them that pretty much everything I picked out was out of stock or came back damaged, so please try again. Wouldn’t have been a big deal if there was a lot to choose from. The shipping/turn around time was pretty fast, and I could see it working well if I had a lot of events where I needed “party” clothes more, but these days, I’m pretty much just going out to dinner or to friends’ houses (the multiple weddings a year phase is behind me, it seems). I love the idea in theory, they were easy to work with, there just wasn’t much I liked selection wise.
LAnon
I am a current member of RTR Unlimited and I will admit that I go back and forth every month about whether or not to cancel it – and they have been saved multiple times by the fact that you have to call to cancel, you can’t just do it from the website. But I do still subscribe:
The pros: for me, the biggest pro is that it scratches my online shopping itch. I go on the website to idly browse around and add things to my favorites list, and I get that nice online shopping thrill whenever I get to pick new stuff out and have it sent. I also do enjoy always having a new pretty dress to wear out on the weekends, and love to rent impractical jewelry that I wear for an evening and ship back. The turnaround time is pretty good, and you can stagger your returns so you have a constant rotation of stuff, or just send it all back and forth at once. Their selection has increased significantly since the beta days – although a lot of it isn’t quite my style, in terms of sheer volume of options, it is pretty impressive.
The cons: as mentioned above, the selection definitely skews towards fancy party dresses. I really wish they had more work stuff, although they are adding lots more casual dresses, which I like. The biggest con for me (and the reason I frequently consider canceling) is that ultimately, whether or not you get your money’s worth is very dependent on how diligent you are about cycling through stuff. There are months where I am very on the ball and have 3-4 shipments of stuff and think “this is a great deal!” Other times, I keep forgetting to ship it back and that’s when I feel like I’m wasting money.
Marshmallow
I subscribed for this summer because I have about a jillion weddings and wedding-related events to attend, so it is perfect for that. I’ve also found that it’s really fun to supplement my wardrobe: they have a decent selection of Theory and Of Mercer dresses for work, and a nice array of handbags. I would not buy a $500-plus handbag, especially not a trendy one, but I’ll totally rent one and carry it for a week or two. As LAanon mentioned, it’s a license to constantly online shop without spending loads of money on things you’ll only wear once or twice.
I plan to cancel in the fall when I start a public service job and my Biglaw budget goes away, plus at that time I will have fewer events to attend. But I’d definitely consider doing it again once I come back to Biglaw.
OP
Thanks, everyone. This is helpful.
Carrots
What’s your favorite credit card for airline rewards? I saw something the other day about a Southwest card and was thinking about it but would like something that gets miles for a carrier that also goes international.
SC
Chase Sapphire. I wouldn’t do an airline specific card unless I lived in a hub city or took the same flight at least once a month. The Chase card has a lot of flexibility — you can book through their Rewards program or transfer points to other airlines. There are also a few travel perks, not as many as the American Express platinum card, but the annual fee is much lower.
I also have a no-fee credit card with good travel awards through our bank. You have to have a certain amount invested with the bank to get the card. I wouldn’t change my banking arrangements over the card, but if you already have some investment accounts with a particular bank, it’s worth looking into.
Coach Laura
+1
Wildkitten
+1
Anonymous
+1
Bonnie
I’ve been very happy with my Chase Sapphire card. You accumulate points on everything and can spend them on most airlines. If you book travel through their system, you also get a discount off the lowest published fare. They were also amazing in helping me get home when a family member had an emergency health issue while I was abroad.
Sydney Bristow
If you aren’t loyal to a single airline, I’d look at one that has transferable points. I like my Chase Sapphire Preferred card ($95 annual fee) in combination with the Chase Freedon card (no fee). I usually transfer my points to United, but they have several other international airline transfer partners as well as hotels. Sapphire Preferred gets 2 points/dollar on travel and restaurants and 1/$ on everything else. The Freedom card gets 5 points/dollar on rotating categories and 1/$ on everything else. This quarter it’s grocery stores. Amazon, restaurants, and gas stations are typically categories the other quarters. The new Freedom Unlimited card gets 1.5 points/dollar on everything. You need to have the premium card (Sapphire Preferred or Ink) to transfer the points though so you get the best deal having 2 of the cards or even all 3.
Sydney Bristow
If you regularly fly one airline, look into that card. I like my United card because I get free checked bags, which offsets the fee each year. It also comes with 2 lounge passes a year and gives me access to more award tickets than non-card holders.
Wildkitten
I fly Southwest and still prefer my Sapphire Card.
Anonymous
You missed the point, WK. Southwest does not charge for checked bags, nor does it offer early boarding (to get overhead space) to its creditcard holders. The only benefit of the SW-branded card is higher point earning, which, yes, you can get with a more universal card.
But for people who fly airlines like American, where the card gives you both one free checked bag and Group 1 boarding, it can at least pay for itself to have the card and incur the annual fee (whether you use it or prefer to accrue rewards on a general travel card is another question–you don’t actually have to use the AA card to make a reservation to get the benefits on that flight).
PBD
+1000. My husband has been using Chase Sapphire + Freedom for years and added me when we got married, so we put everything possible on these cards for points. We also recently got the new Unlimited card. It’s a bit of a PITA to keep track of which card to use for what, but you get used to it. A couple years ago, we were able to book our belated honeymoon flights to Africa for almost free thanks to points accumulated on the Chase cards! Their concierge is also great and got us Ghibli museum tickets in Tokyo, etc.
Sydney Bristow
Our Australian honeymoon was almost entirely on points.
You can put little labels on your cards reminding you where to use them. My husband finds it easiest to focus on one card. He puts everything on his United card to reach the yearly spending for a 10,000 point bonus. I focus on switching up my cards for category spending. It works out great together.
Betty
Relatedly: Do you now if the benefit for airline miles is greater than 1% – 1.25% of your purchases? I use a cash back card, which is great, but I’m wondering if I could get more punch for my money with a travel card?
DBD
I don’t know about airline miles in particular, but I have the Barclaycard Arrival Plus, which gets 2.1% if you apply your points to statement credits for travel. It has a fairly high fee, but I love how convenient it is to get rewards.
Sydney Bristow
If you look up a frequent traveler blog, they tend to offer valuations for various points programs. Look at The Points Guy or One Mile at a Time or View from the Wing.
Generally, you get the most value for your points out of international flights, particularly business or first class.
Anonymous
This is why I haven’t gotten a travel card. My credit card (Citi) gets 2% cash back, on everything. We just let the points rack up until we want to travel, then cash in the cash back we’ve accumulated.
NYtoCO
I can’t recommend the Capital One Venture card enough. I get 2 points on every single purchase (Chase Sapphire only gets 2 for travel and dining, and 1 for everything else). I think the annual fee for the Venture card is lower. It is SUPER easy to redeem my miles– I get $1 for every 100 points, and the best /easiest way to use them is to redeem purchases you have already made. Anything that is categorized as a travel expense is redeemable. This means I effectively get 2% cash back subtracted from my credit card balance whenever I choose.
NYtoCO
I haven’t redeemed for about a year, we put almost all of our purchases onto this card, and I have about $1,500 worth of points just waiting to be put toward a free vacation :)
Gail the Goldfish
This dress is my favorite color, is not sleeveless, and therefore I should probably buy it. But they don’t have a picture of the back in the teal–has anyone seen it to know how “exposed” the exposed zipper is? If the zipper/tape are the same color as the dress, I’m fine with it because it doesn’t look too bad in the black, but if they’re different colors, then nope.
Honeycrisp
This dress looks similar to the two Halogen sheath dresses that I ordered during the Anniversary Sale last year, so I would assume that the zipper and tape will be the same color as the dress. Halogen dresses tend to run a little small, so if you are between sizes, order one size up. Glad I ordered this dress yesterday in black before my size sold out!
Gail the Goldfish
Thanks! I ordered it in multiple sizes, so we’ll see what works.
Kk
I have this dress! Teal green tape, exposed gold zipper, down to about the top of my underwear (standard zipper length). I’m in consulting and usually “business casual,” and have dressed this up with black heels and gold jewelry, and down with a navy/white stripe scarf and tan flats- which is what I was wearing when sprinting through DCA this afternoon!
White jacket?
I just bought a white jacket at the Nordstrom sale and got it in the mail today.
http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/chelsea28-easy-crepe-blazer/4410420
It’s very nice and a great summer piece. I’m just really worried about keeping it clean. I don’t drink coffee or tea at work but lunches out with co-workers can be messy-ish. We have lots of Asian food choices around the office and it’s not uncommon for me to get something on my sleeves or shirt.
Keep it? No? Any experiences with white jackets?
(Former) Clueless Summer
Love white blazers. But I definitely always take it off to eat (unless its something super clean like carrots). I usually eat at my desk so it’s fine to take the blazer off. Just wear a shirt or dress you don’t mind exposing. For sushi or pho or anything saucy or remotely splattery or dark liquids, it comes off. Otherwise I’m just extra careful with desk cleanliness and pens.
CPA Lady
I love wearing white. I am also a spiller and I have a toddler.
I carry a tide-to-go pen with me everywhere. Everywhere. I have one at home, I have one in my desk, I have one in my wallet. They are great for keeping stains from setting if you do get a splash of something on your jacket. Also, it’s amazing what a dry cleaner can get out. For washable whites like jeans, I’ve had really good luck with Shout stain pre-treat in the spray bottle.
RKT
So, I actually scotch-guarded my white pants and jackets, and it worked remarkably well — it didn’t stop spills altogether, but seemed to keep a lot of the spills from penetrating right away, which meant I could clean them up in time!
KinCA
I also ordered this blazer as part of the Nordstrom sale and am still waiting for it to arrive. I was a little hesitant about ordering a white jacket as well, but I think I’ll probably just take it off to eat and make sure I have a Tide or Clorox pen in my purse for stain emergencies.
Sydney Bristow
I had a white jacket a few summers ago and wore it to death. It worked far more often than I expected. I’m not very careful but managed to keep it clean. I say go for it.
waffles
The cuffs of my white blazer get really dirty and are hard to clean, so I would recommend rolling up the cuffs if you can, when you’re doing things that could get the cuffs dirty. Other than that, the drycleaner has done a very good job of keeping it white and bright!
Anonymous
Anyone have a good pair of sunglasses they can recommend? UV protection is a must and I’m looking for something larger than my Wayfarers (because when I wear those I notice I still get a lot of sun damage around my eyes). I like the look of Ray Ban Aviators but after losing two pairs in a row, I don’t want to invest that much money again. But I also don’t want to buy something that’s obviously intended to be a knockoff.
Clementine
I have a series of generic aviator-style sunglasses (all 100% UV protection). My favorites are from Loft and I got them on sale for $10 or less.
For a long time I lost sunglasses so often I couldn’t have nice ones. I now hold onto my sunglasses for a long time, but still stick with cheap ones. I’ve gotten a few decent pairs at TJ Maxx/Marshalls/Kohls as well.
mascot
A wrap around style provides better protection IME. I agree that you can sometimes find good options at TJMaxx.
Lobbyist
Tifosi wrap arounds. They are for biking but the black and grey frames look sort of normal enough to wear all the time. I’m in CA though so they might not work everywhere — but they are so comfortable and light.
CDA
Try Polaroid. They have a wide selection of both sporty and fashion styles, so you can find something that meets your tastes. Many are also available with polarized lenses (if that is helpful for you). Competitive pricing too!
Runner 5
Seconding this. I have a pair of Polaroid aviators that I found at TKMaxx (UK part of TJ’s) – the best part is that they’re small enough to fit in a regular glasses case.
Anne
Thought some others might like this article: http://fortune.com/2016/05/26/womens-dress-code-new-york-times/?xid=soc_socialflow_facebook_FORTUNE
TravelBug
NICE! Definitely.
Mosquito Repellent Bracelets?
Anyone have any experience/know if these work? I’m the kind of person that gets ten bites at a BBQ when no one else gets bitten, and I don’t want to have to slather on toxic chemicals every time I walk my dog…thoughts?
CountC
I’d love to know also. I get bitten nonstop!
Min Donner
I’ve tried these a few times, and I haven’t gotten bites, but I’m not really confident. Would love to hear a recommendation for a specific brand that works! My husband’s aunt just recommended the Neutrogena body oil (original/sesame formula) – she swears by it. I think it’s in similar vein to the old Avon skin-so-soft recommendation, but in my opinion smells better. It’s not mosquito season yet where I live, but I’m going to give it a try this summer.
Rant
I’m absolutely disgusted listening to my male co-workers (including, and especially, the big boss) talk about how “unfair” the situation at Baylor is and how Briles and Starr were denied due process, and how rape is “a criminal matter” and should be handled by the police and universities have no obligation to do anything. I can’t even imagine how upset I would be if I were a victim of sexual assault.
TBK
Really? I think it’s horrific that we expect universities to handle serious criminal matters. School tribunals were set up to handle things like cheating on exams, things that aren’t criminal. If there were a murder at a school, would we expect the tribunal to determine whether someone was guilty of murder? No, we’d expect it turned over to the criminal justice system. I think the years of treating rape as being like any other kind of school misconduct has seriously undermined the seriousness of the offense. It’s a felony. Schools should not be in the business of adjudicating felonies. They are simply not equipped for it.
Should schools do anything about rape allegations? Of course. If a student is arrested for a felony, I think it’s reasonable and appropriate for a school to suspend the student pending the outcome of the case. Yes, it might mean that an innocent student has his or her education delayed for a number of years, but the way our system works, criminal cases don’t go forward unless there is evidence that the accused committed the crime. So an entirely baseless accusation should result in the accused being let go relatively quickly (yes, it will still be disruptive to the accused’s education. I don’t see a way around that.)
I won’t say that our criminal justice system is perfect. But there is no system ever devised by mortals that is perfect. Some innocent people will be punished and some guilty ones will be let go. One of the civilized aspects of our system is that it is expressly designed to under- rather than over-punish. And I realize that rape is an exceptionally difficult crime to prove. But that doesn’t mean that due process safeguards should be thrown to the wind. The truth is that there are boys — not necessarily these boys and not necessarily most boys accused of rape, but some boys nonetheless — who are unjustly accused of rape and who, because they were adjudicated by a university with no expertise in the area and with few procedural safeguards in place, have had their lives ruined. (It should go without saying that I am not denying the damage that rape causes. Of course rape victims have had their lives ruined. But the solution to that is not to turn to a system that ruins other innocent peoples’ lives. That is also not justice.)
There is clearly a problem with student athletes and school culture, one that goes beyond Baylor and goes beyond issues of sexual assault. College sports have become entirely too lucrative and should be structurally re-worked to better reflect what they actually are (which is something much more like professional sports teams). To the extent that officials were aware that students had been accused of sexual assault and turned a blind eye because they didn’t want to jeopardize their team, that’s a serious failure and one that should absolutely lead to termination. Absolutely. Moreover, school officials should pro-actively bring such accusations to the attention of the legal authorities. There should be no tolerance for such behavior.
But that is all a far cry from saying that schools should handle serious felonies internally. Or that a school tribunal is properly equipped to adjudicate criminal matters, providing adequate protections for *both* the accused and the alleged victim.
Anonymous
I agree one hundred percent that college tribunals are not the same as a court of law and shouldn’t be putting someone behind bars. But they are not doing that. They’re determining whether the student is allowed to remain enrolled at their university, which is absolutely a privilege and not a right. I think it’s perfectly appropriate that when a college student accuses another college student of rape, that the college makes a determination about who is telling the truth and punishes the student (for either rape or false reporting) appropriately.
Rape is an incredibly under-reported and under-prosecuted crime. Some of that may be because of things the victim can at least in a sense control (immediacy of reporting, willingness to testify), but a lot of it is due to factors that the victim has no control over, like the prosecutor’s desire to maintain a certain win percentage or to not offend the powers that be (as is often the case in college communities with powerhouse football teams filled with rapists). So when a victim doesn’t get justice through the real justice system, that’s a slap in the face and then it adds insult to injury when, not only does their rapist not go to jail, but they have to see their rapist every day on campus. I definitely don’t think the universities should be taking these cases away from prosecutors or trivializing the crime, but that’s not what’s happening. It’s usually a concurrent proceeding and/or something that is done afterwards if the prosecutors fail to take the case to a jury or fail to prove the crime beyond a reasonable doubt (which should be the standard for throwing someone in jail, but not for expelling them).
I also get the sense from your comment that you think there are a lot of false rape accusations. That’s really a myth and a very damaging one. There’s a lot of scientific evidence that it’s no more falsely reported than any other crime, despite some very sensational stories like the Rolling Stone thing.
I highly recommend the Jon Krakauer book Missoula: Rape and the Justice System in a College Town. It sheds a lot of light on these issues and is a really interesting read. It really changed my thinking on these issues.
TBK
Oh geez, no. No. I knew someone would say that. No, I do not think that there are lots of false rape accusations. But I do think that, as you say, it is sometimes falsely reported, as any other crime sometimes is.
You’re right that the school proceedings are sometimes happening in tandem with the criminal proceedings, but not always. Sometimes there’s a sense that a student can just go to the school with it and have it handled there and that the student doesn’t have to go to the authorities with it. And I think that’s dangerous because that puts all the pressure on the school to handle it. And the school has a number of priorities entirely outside the adjudication of the case, like the school’s reputation on the one hand and pressure from the White House to do something about campus rape on the other.
I think schools are in over their heads. I think we’re looking to four-year residential colleges to make a cultural change that actually needs to be happening more widely in the culture. To listen to the news you’d think that residential colleges are hot-beds of sexual assault when actually 18 to 22 year old women who attend college are less likely to be raped than those who don’t go to college. That makes sense. College women, especially those at four year residential schools, are the elite. Elite women have always been less likely to be victimized than less privileged women, and if they are assaulted they have more resources available to them. I would much prefer that the conversation addressed rape more broadly, in a way that better reflected where and to whom rape happens. The current conversation is pushing schools to make superficial changes that don’t necessarily result in more just outcomes.
CountC
FWIW, I have been raped and sexually assaulted, I read Missoula, as well as other books on this issue, and I agree with TBK. Obviously, I do not speak for all victims and I am not trying to.
Clementine
My motivation level is roughly at a -4.
What’s not helping me at all is that after handling 4 1/2 days of absolute full-on-sprint style working, today I just really need to get that background pile of work done. You know, the perpetual items on the bottom of your to-do list that you never really get to knock off?
For funsies, anyone have interesting weekend plans? We’re going to go visit a friend and see her new house (she just moved in with her BF and is super excited!).
Sydney Bristow
Possibly going to the beach tomorrow and a friend’s party this weekend. Other than that I’m taking the entire 3 days off from working (I’ve been doing tons of overtime) to read, relax, and recharge.
If I feel productive, I’m going to try and clean out my dresser.
NOLA
Similar plans! Hung out at a friend’s house last night an watched the Cavs-Raptors game. Tonight is another friend’s housewarming party (they are moving back home after a major renovation necessitated by a bizarre accident). And, hoping to go through clothes and shoes in my spare room/closet to pare things down and donate.
Anonymous
This month has been my first cycle of IVF and have an embryo transfer scheduled for Sunday. This whole process has been so surreal.
TBK
Fingers crossed for you! Those two weeks are so hard. I hope you have lots of distracting things planned. Watch all the movies! Go out with your friends every night! Lots of good thoughts going your way!
Anonymous
Thanks! Every step has been so new; it’s good to hear from someone on the other side!
anony
Congratulations! Have a thing of McDonald’s fries immediately after transfer. It’s a superstition–I have no idea where it comes from, maybe it reduces the likelihood of OHSS because sodium?–but I did it after two embryo transfers and had a successful pregnancy both times.
They also say that very funny movies are a good plan.
Anonymous
Ooh, I like this! I always love an excuse for their fries. Thanks all for the good wishes.
twin mom
Just adding my good wishes! I’m on the other side and was just talking to my husband about how (unbelievably) we can barely remember all that happened last year to get us here. My fingers are crossed for you!
anony
If I had twins under a year old, I wouldn’t be able to remember my own name or my phone number, so all respect!
Betty
Congrats and best of luck! A nap followed by a funny movie sounds like an excellent post-transfer plan!
Anon
Good luck! I also second a very funny movie…apparently laughing increases blood flow to your uterus. (I’m 11 weeks pregnant w an IVF baby).
Anne
Good luck!
Tetra
Help! We’re in the process of negotiating rescheduling a trial, and the new dates might end up being during my honeymoon. Should I offer to change the dates of my trip, or just say sorry and have someone else get put on the case? I was told earlier that honeymoons are “sacred” at my firm, so I don’t think anyone expects me to change it.
Anonymous
I don’t think anyone would expect you to change it. If you want the trial experience and can easily reschedule the honeymoon, I might do that (once the final date is set). The firm might even cover the change fees. But if you’d rather just go on the original dates I think it’s fine to do that.
Anonymous
Replying to myself to add: assuming you can’t change the wedding date and the honeymoon is immediately following the wedding, I would probably just let them put someone else on it. Will you really be able to disconnect completely for 3-4 days right before you go to trial? Unless you want to do some serious work over your wedding weekend it doesn’t seem realistic for you to be part of this trial team.
Sydney Bristow
If your firm doesn’t expect you to change it, I don’t think I’d want to set the expectation that I’m ok changing major plans. I’m not a trial attorney though so take what I say with a grain of salt. I’d try to keep some boundaries though.
Gail the Goldfish
Yea. Also depends on how far out the date is–I’m reluctant to not schedule something major like a honeymoon because of a trial date because trial dates change so frequently. Or the case settles.
Nellie
I’m interviewing for a new job next week and I’m already feeling nervous! Any great interview tips (especially suggestions to help keep me calm and focused?). I think I get super-anxious in these situations because I feel like everything I say is being analyzed and judged.
TBK
It is being analyzed and judged. But remember that you’re analyzing and judging them, too. I find it helpful to think of it as a conversation to discuss a business proposition to see if it makes sense for everyone to move forward.
Anonymous
I disagree that every word you say is being analyzed and judged. Certainly you can cost yourself the job by saying certain wrong things and you need to say enough good stuff to impress them and convince them you deserve the position. But I interview people and I certainly don’t nitpick over every word they say. Plenty of candidates have given a bad answer to one question or two and still gotten the job. Don’t stress yourself out. Just rehearse some answers to common questions, relax right before the interview and go in there and kick a$$! good luck!!
LAnon
This can vary a bit by industry, but in general, getting to the interview typically means that they have already decided, based on your resume, that you are qualified for the job. So you don’t need to worry about every answer being brilliant and proving your qualifications, though obviously you want to come across as smart and thoughtful, not a dolt. But remind yourself that you’ve already cleared some hurdles just by getting the interview! Also, even though it may not feel that way, the company wants you to do well – they need this position filled and are hoping that you are the right fit! (Before I interview someone, I inevitably think to myself, “I hope this person works out!”)
Overall, if you are thinking of the interview as adversarial and intimidating, instead try re-framing to look at the positive: the company found your qualifications well-aligned with what they are looking for, and they are hoping the interview will confirm for them that you are the right person for the job.
Last word of advice is that often interviews are designed to probe at your perceived weaknesses, like explaining gaps on the resume, or frequent job changes, or a certain skill area weakness. This isn’t a bad sign and typically they’re not trying to trip you up. Instead, remember that your interviewer(s) are going to have to justify why they think you are the right fit for the job – you need to hand them the tools they will need to advocate for you when the time comes to make a decision. It’s much easier to advocate for someone when you can say, “Yes, I asked her about that in the interview and she explained xyz, which I think is sufficient.”
Young Lawyer
I’m a young attorney in a midsized firm (likely the best in my niche).
I love the work I’m doing and my immediate colleagues. The problem is the firm management. It’s all lovely until sh*t hits the fan, then it’s a matter of how quickly you can throw blame. The biggest issue is those who are problematic are higher up and manipulative. I can’t detail the many problems here, but now things are getting worse. I was told Tuesday that my job is set to change, and not for the better, by taking away necessary and good parts that will hurt me long term. I don’t think it’s been thought through properly but when people are lying and presenting half truths, then decisions are made before speaking to everyone involved, that’s what happens.
I’m going to see how things shake out, certainly, but I’m deciding how to deal in the short and long term.
I could likely switch departments, but I don’t know that it would help – and it would create problems with my current team.
Otherwise, I do have a temporary opportunity I’m interested in doing, but that’s not for another year and a half.
So I’m wondering: when seems like a good time to look for other positions? I want to stay in the same practice area but would move geographically and am happy to learn other areas.
FP
How many years have you been at your existing firm? Sounds like time to walk.
Young Lawyer
Only one, which makes me hesitant
FP
Start a long, slow, nationwide job search with some national recruiters now. You’ve got a year, and by the time you find the right fit, it’ll be closer to two.
anon
Ladies, any tips for Berlin? I have a work trip with some built-in free time coming up soon. I would love to hear any special restaurants, pretty walks, or interesting things to see not on the top of the tourists lists. TIA!
Coach Laura
Fassbender & Rausch Chocolate shop. Spree River boat cruise followed by lunch at a restaurant with outdoor seating. (Wish I had a name for you but don’t, sorry.)
Anne
There’s an Alternative Berlin tour that starts by the world clock in Stazenplatz at 10 or 11 on Saturday, if I recall correctly. You can probably find it online or just stop in a hostel and ask.
Book a time for the free tour of the Reichstag.
Climb to the top of the church in Museumplatz.
Wander around Museumplatz, there are some great ones for free.
Enjoy!
Min Donner
Definitely try to book a time for the Reichstag, it’s amazing. If the slots are all booked up, you can make a reservation at the restaurant (it’s pricey, but the food is good) and you also get to tour the dome.
If the weather is nice, I’d try to do a bike tour. Mike’s Bikes does a pretty decent one – it is always guide dependent, but I much preferred the Berlin tour I took to the Paris one. Let’s you see a lot of the city, learn interesting history, and be a bit active.
I also highly recommend checking out the “East Side Gallery” – it’s a bunch of murals on the Berlin wall.
Shopping
I don’t know if you’re still reading this, but here are a few ideas based on my 3 years living there.
The Sat market on Nollendorfplatz and/or the Turkish market on the banks of the Spree in Kreuzberg are wonderful, and very different from each other. The canals in Kreuzberg can be lovely to take a walk along. One of the boat tours on the Spree docks there as well as near the Zoo. I see the Haus der Kulturen der Welt is only partially open right now, but it could still be very worth checking out what’s going on there. http://www.hkw.de/en/hkw/ueberuns/Ueber_uns.php It is near the huge park in Tiergarten, which is a great place to go for a walk and spend a couple hours. It has a zoo and a cafe and things like that. I suppose Kollwitzplatz in Prenzlauerberg is no longer such a secret, now that the neighborhood has gentrified. Same with the Kulturbrauerei.
When will you be there? Christopher Street Day there is a huge parade. You can look up the route. The Love Parade has been reformulated to a message of cultural acceptance and may be big this year because of the refugees and right-wing parties http://zugderliebe.org/about/en/
Do the Haekischer Hoefe fall under “typical tourist fare” for you? I always liked them. I liked walking along Unter den Linden from Alexanderplatz to the Brandenburger Tor as well. You will go past many monuments and historical buildings. There is a reason they are so often visited. They are lovely.
You could also go to Topography of Terror or Sachsenhausen if you have enough time available to digest such dark stuff. There is an S-bahn that goes all the way out to Oranienburg. From the station to Sachsenhausen is a short walk.
Another S-bahn afternoon or day trip would be to go to Potsdam. The Babelsberg Film Museum is there, as is Schloss Sansucci. (my French spelling is horrible, but I think I’m close). It is like a German Versailles. If you don’t have that much time but like palaces, check out the Charlottenburg Palace in the borough of the same name.
You can always go to a cafe, sip your drink, and pick up a paper copy of http://www.zitty.de/ Someone will help you find goings-on that you’ll like. There is tons and tons and tons to do in Berlin!
I wish you viel Spass (much fun)!
Anon
thanks for all of the good recommendations!
Libra
I’d love some of your smart thinking about the pros/cons of formal vs informal power at work. A little example: I’m one of four people with the same level title at work. We’re the second highest title in the organization. I supervise a larger team, have some of the most influential projects, and have the ear of our boss in a way the others don’t. I get some advantages to this informal “second in command” position in that I can influence a lot of decisions that others in my similar role can’t, others may be more willing to tell me things since I’m not technically their boss so I have more information. cons are that externally people may not see my ability influence and make decisions, I don’t get compensated at a higher rate for my contributions, and my title doesn’t reflect the contribution I make. I’m trying to decide if I like having the informal power, or want to push to get my role recognized at a higher level officially. Anyone care to share insights or cautions or personal experiences? Thanks all!
Wildkitten
I think, as a woman especially, formal power is where it’s at. Formal power is something you can use to ask for more money, and formal power gets recognized if you move to another organization. Formalize it, ladyfriend!
Ellen
Yay, Wildkitten is right, AGAIN! I must be related to Wild Kitten b/c we think so much alike! I too beleive that women being assertive is a GOOD thing, and we MUST be abel to manage men in the workplace b/c they have so many femeale stereo types that we MUST overcome. For instance, even tho I had a law degree, I was SUBJUGATED in my first job serveing supeenies, even tho everyone else did NOT even have a college BA degree. Plus, the guy’s there just thought I was there as arm candy for the boss, who BTW was completeley GROSS. How peeople could think we were a coupel is ridiculus! He was old, fat and bald, and he smelled like garlic bread!
For the HIVE, my current job give’s me autonomy as well as responsibility. The manageing partner know’s that the judge like’s me so the onley thing he does is to assist me in “my presentation”, which means he pays a clotheing allowance to insure that I go to court completely prepared to wow the judge. Now that includes PREPARATION on the cases themselves. He says that I must be BOTH prepared and visualy arresting (which means pretty). I do my best and have a 96.3% sucess rate. The manageing partner want’s me to up that to 98.6% b/c that is NORMAL he says! And he is actueally right according to dad.
I want to wish the HIVE a great weekend, b/c I am goeing out to the Hamton’s to stay with the manageing partner and Margie and the Baby. We are haveing a firm outing there tomorrow, but I get to stay the WHOLE weekend with Myrna! YAY!!!!!
Wildkitten
This is my new LinkedIn tagline.
“Yay, Wildkitten is right, AGAIN!” – Ellen
Monte
I have had this conversation with a friend recently who believes she has a fair amount of informal power — certain projects at work, close relationships with colleagues, various confidences. It is incredibly frustrating for her that it doesn’t translate — her colleagues don’t really know, her income is stagnant, and she can only say so much of this without the title on the resume. It depends on your office culture, but I tend to believe that informal power is a way to placate people, but formal power is what you want if you want to advance or move.
Anne
+1
Also, I’ve seen informal power create resentment and conflict that formal power doesn’t, basically those at the same or higher levels getting upset you have more influence.
Libra
This is all sounding very wise, keep it coming ladies. Any opposing opinions?
anony
Money is my love language (well, at work.) I like praise, but money is how I measure my actual value to the company. In some cases, formal power brings managerial roles or commitments, which may not be an appropriate fit for someone who is a stellar individual contributor–in that case, I’d say ask for the money and don’t sweat the formal designation. In your case, where your role wouldn’t change but the title would better fit it, then I’d pursue the official title.
And the money. Go get more money.
shopping
Is there any reason to think that getting more formal power would decrease your informal power? Seems to me that if the powers that be like you now, they will then too.
Nichole with an H
I’m a little late to add here, but for my large organization, the way you GET more formal power is by effectively utilizing informal power. It’s a very “do the job you want” kind of culture. It’s also practically unknown to add or change a title because of a person, but it’s easy to stand out by utilizing informal power, and if there are no openings in the role you aspire to, effectively using informal power to advance the company or drive results is often rewarded appropriately during review time. Obviously, YMMV depending on your org culture.
anon
Not in law but a related financial field. Aim for a formail title, your colleagues are thinking the same thing too. You want to be firstpast the post for this one
Betty White
I’m currently on maternity leave and would like to plan an easy family getaway during the last week or so of my leave. The baby will be about 3.5 months old by then and it’d be toward the end of August. We’re in the DC area and would love to go someplace within driving distance (or potentially a very short flight — say, two hours?) that is relatively easy to do with a baby (beach, cabin in the mountains, small city?) and not so hot as to make it difficult to keep the baby cool. Thanks in advance for any suggestions!
Shopping
The Outer Banks of NC is an obvious choice. About a 6 hr drive. I drove there from Fairfax with my 8 month old and had a lovely stay. We went through Sun Real Estate and got one of there 3-night packages. That was 12 years ago and I still think about trying to get back there with him (but we live in the Tampa Bay Area now).
Greenbrier Resort should be driving distance for you too. They have lots of family activities these days.
I don’t know how much of a baby person you are. I was back at work after 3 weeks, so any time I got with my baby was special to me and I really didn’t want many activities beyond seeing baby grow and watching the progression of skills acquired. Lots of SAHM feel differently, and you may as well. In the Outer Banks, there isn’t a lot to do, but besides a couple beach days you could go to the Wright Bros Museum, go to the yummy food shop in Duck, and climb the Hatteras lighthouse. At the resort, of course, they’ll have any number of activities that they will arrange for you–a rarity in a mom’s life!
Shopping
^their. Sorry–no excuse!
Betty White
Thanks, this is a great suggestion!
anony
Two years ago, I took a 5 month old to Chincoteague/Assateague for a few days in mid-June, and we enjoyed the trip. It’s a 2-4 hour drive from DC, depending on where you are in the metro area, and there are a lot of rental houses for all price points. I appreciated having a house to myself so I could stumble around and get food and have plenty of space for baby accoutrements. It’s also extremely low-key and family friendly, which was good because all I want to do with a newish baby is get some sleep and maybe stare mindlessly into the water for a few hours.
Casual Friday office to date outfit
Anyone want to help me put it together?
I want to wear either my black & white checked Banana Republic trousers or get these from Nordstrom Top Shop http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/topshop-stripe-wide-leg-crop-trousers/4326209?origin=category-personalizedsort&fashioncolor=GREY%20MULTI
For the top, I’m thinking a fitted work T-shirt and a structured cardigan/blazer that just comes to my hips. Either a white shirt and jewel tone cardi or a jewel tone shirt and black cardi. Budget is small. These pants cost way too much but I like them so much.
Wildkitten
I like jewel-tone with black cardi. I also think if you *LOVE* the pants you should get them, but that the BR checked trousers would be perfect.
Wildkitten
I think bling and heels would make it transition to evening.
Susie
If you want to stick to your budget I’ll just say I’m not on board with this trend of wide leg crops, I’d save the money and wear the pants I have.
Wildkitten
Married ladies – I am collecting information. I thought I wanted an engagement ring with a lower setting – it won’t catch on stuff or be in the way. But I also think, mostly from ladies here, that I want a sparkly band I can wear without the engagement rock. The jeweler I’ve been consulting with says a low-set rock requires the ring to have a notch in it. What are your experiences? (I am not yet engaged.)
newbinlaw
I always had heard the same cons to having a higher set rock, but my ring was a surprise (with a larger diamond than I expected) & the jeweler and he agreed while designing it that it had to be set high to really do it justice.
I haven’t had an issue with it once. I think at a certain point, the diamond is going to be high enough to “catch” regardless, so if you have a good reason to set it high, I wouldn’t worry about it. also, it really does have the “wow” factor when it is properly set. I also plan to just wear my band when traveling and other times so I’m really glad I can pick something beautiful that stands alone.
With that said, I don’t wear my ring at home, and i have a “ring coozy” for the gym for times I go straight from work, so I do try to take care of it. But I do wear it all day at work, on weekends running errands, etc. and have had zero problems.
anon
my ring is a raised claw setting but the band is channel set, which means my sparkly band sits flush next to it.
Have a look at the tiffany channel set daimond engagement ring and wedding band – mine are a copy of those. Hope that helps!
NYtoCO
The band doesn’t need a notch (which I think looks ridiculous) with a lower set diamond if you don’t mind the two not being perfectly flush against each other. I have a lower-set diamond and a band without a notch, and they don’t sit perfectly flush but I think it looks awesome/more organic that way.
Wildkitten
Thank you. I don’t like the look of the notch either, and with some settings they said they recommended soldering them together so the band doesn’t knock against the ring setting, and I for sure knew I did not want that. I will have to see how I like the look of a band without a notch.
anon
I have a low-set stone (I think it’s technically called a faux-tension setting) that’s about the size equivalent of a 3/4 carat diamond. It’s set in a 4mm band, so the stone is slightly larger than the band. My wedding ring is completely plain, not notched at all, and sits flush with the engagement ring. So it can be done.
I would say, though, that if you are going to have some input into the final ring, you may end up falling for something totally different than you planned on. My husband found something that he thought I’d love that was completely different than what I wanted. He got me into the store on some pretense to get my opinion and it was definitely the ring I never knew I wanted. (And the salesgirl’s reaction totally gave away that it was his top choice, but I digress).
nutella
Newly engaged myself here! A notch is not needed- mine is just under 3 carats but sits relatively low AND fits a wedding band flush against it thanks to a low cathedral setting. That being said I am sampling thinner wedding bands, not wide anniversary/eternity bands, which I think look best solo or on the right hand. I would echo what others have said- try rings (both engagement and wedding band) on to see what you like! Have fun!
Wildkitten
Thank you all. I know this is a silly problem to be trying to solve, but your input is hugely helpful.
Shopping
I’m going to be a party-pooper here (even though you gave me a helpful response above) and say that I don’t want traditional rings, between labor conditions in mines for gold and silver and conflict diamonds. Not judging you (if I judged every person who wears them, I’d never get through my day!) just giving you an idea.
Anonymous
I have a 2ct diamond on a plain band, and I think it is a high setting (the bottom of the diamond is on top of the band). I have an eternity wedding band and over time (married 9 years) the band has dented two of the six prongs on my engangement ring so they sit flush.
Puralax
A few weeks ago I wrote a terrible description of this game to ask the hive to help me recall it’s name so I could download it again. I stumbled on it tonight!
If youre looking for an addictive game, look no further. I don’t get the name though.
Anonymous
Does anyone have suggestions of t-shirts to replace the Theory Juin tee? I’m also looking for silk shells or silk short-sleeve sweaters.
Anonymous
Not sure if it’s what you’re looking for but the Lafayette 148 tshirts are a staple in my closet. I think they work well under blazers.
Anonymous
I was wondering the same – possibly going to order some Everlane ‘pima stretch’ tees soon, I’m thinking they may work. https://www.everlane.com/collections/womens-tees/products/womens-pima-stretch-midsleeve-heathergrey
Hot Air Balloon
Hey guys;
I have a styling challenge for you. I need to go with my current case team to a hot air balloon ride.
The invitation says: weather appropriate attire and comfortable shoes.
If with friends, I would wear black leggings, combat boots and a long plaid shirt but this is a work event.
We are going straight from client site (business casual client, and we dress more formal). I am thinking as I have no meetings, I can dress down as one partner usually dresses like she is going grocery shopping, but she is a beast at work and earned this. For junior me, it might be OK as a one off thing, but worst case I can change in a restroom before leaving if need be.
As of now, the only piece I know I will be wearing is an olive taffeta trench coat from Burberry (the one with a detachable hood) because that is the only coat I have that is shower-proof and not very formal.
So this takes care of the weather appropriate as it will be sunny but with a chance of rain (Germany).
For the rest of the outfit, I am at loss. Any suggestions welcome.
CountC
Can you get away with cropped/ankle pants? I would wear a pair of JCrew Minnies/Old Navy Pixie pants and either a boat neck top or fitted light cabled sweater (weather dependent). I think an outift like that would look sharp with a trench. I’d wear a pair of flats that I wouldn’t mind crossing potentially muddy grass in with it (patent most likely – easy to clean!).
Anon
As you go up in the balloon it will get significantly cooler so definitely layers.
Also bring earplugs.
Viva Las Megas
I need eyebrow help. I have fair skin and very light brows. I have literally never plucked or shaped or done a thing to them. They are sort of invisible. I have realized that more pronounced brows are a thing now. Where do I start? I am a makeup minimalist without advanced skills, but I can learn.
Invisible brows
I also suffer invisible brows. This has bothered me forever and I’ve tried a few options. I no longer pluck or shape, they have a decent shape if I leave the alone. At various times, I’ve used a colored brow gel, powder plus clear mascara to seal, and now use a brow pencil. There are different pros and cons to each. The pencil stays on my face a long time, but the product itself does not last nearly as long as an eyeshadow (which is what I sued before). I would definitely go to sephora or your favorite makeup counter and get someone to show you products and how to use them. Good luck!
Bonnie
I use this kit once a week or so, following the directions of the reviewers rather than those on the box. It darkens my eyebrows without making them look fake. https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B003ASW4T4/ref=mp_s_a_1_2_a_it?qid=1464468976&sr=8-2&refinements=p_85%3A2470955011&keywords=brow+tint+kit+godefroy&pi=SY200_QL40
Wildkitten
Another option: https://www.glossier.com/products/boy-brow
anon
go to sephora and look at the anastasia eyebrow products. play around with your natural brow, most likely you may like a slightly colored brow not necessarily a plucked. one
lawsuited
If your brows are already a nice shape but just hard to see, the easiest product is probably a tinted brow gel that will make the hairs more visible. It’s very quick and a lot easier than using a brow pencil, pomade or powder which take some practice.
Liz
Starting to plan for travel next Spring. Any favorite websites for cheaper airline flights, or last minute deals?
BigLaw Summer
Are patterned pencil skirts/dresses business casual? This is the one I’m looking at: https://factory.jcrew.com/womens-clothing/skirts/pencil/PRD~B8203/B8203.jsp?N=217+17+10137+11816&Nbrd=F&Nloc=en_US&Nrpp=48&Npge=1&Nsrt=3&isSaleItem=true&color_name=CLASSIC%20IVORY&isFromSale=true&isNewSearch=true&hash=row1
It’s for biglaw. I’ve seen a few similar things around, but mostly solids. Thoughts?
Anonymous
Anyone have experience with MM LaFleur / tried the Bento box?
The prices are just at the edge of my budget right now so I’m wondering if the quality is worth the price.
Wildkitten
I am in a similar boat and I think the quality is worth the price. But, I love “staples” I can buy and just wear every day and they’ll keep up. If you like shopping for amazing deals, or buying lots of the perfect item at once, it might not be for you. For my first order I wanted professional clothes to wear to an importance conference. I picked the clothes that looked to be the most compatible for my body, and filled the wardrobe niches I needed filled. I ordered a few items, but only kept the jacket/cardigan which I love.
So, then I did a Bento Box. It seemed kind of random. One item was something I had been eye-ing, but ended up not being so great on. The other items were a very chunky sweater (cute maybe, but not on me, ever), $110 CZ earrings that would have been cute for like $25, and some other stuff I don’t recall.
If you get a Bento, the first one is free and after that they have a “styling fee” of $25 that works the same as Stitchfix (you get the styling fee as a credit towards a purchase from the Bento.) I wouldn’t do that again. I’d just order and return what I don’t want. Your situation might be different.
Anonymous
Thank you! I did just order my first Bento Box but like you said, I’m sure that will be the only one and I’ll just shop online for specific pieces from there.
Wishful thinking
Is there any way this dress could ever be styled for work? Maybe with a shrug I would never take off? http://m.shop.nordstrom.com/s/felicity-coco-gingham-fit-flare-dress-nordstrom-exclusive/4317505?origin=related-4317505-0-18-MOBI_PP_4-Data_Lab_Recommendo_V2-fbt_similar_items&recs_type=related&recs_productId=4317505&recs_categoryId=0&recs_productOrder=18&recs_placementId=MOBI_PP_4&recs_source=Data_Lab_Recommendo_V2&recs_strategy=fbt_similar_items&recs_referringPageType=item_page
In-House Europe
For the right person, I could see this working with a blouse underneath. I couldn’t pull it off but in a business casual worplace maybe?
anon
it will be hard. theboxy neckine and gingham pattern lend a kits hy/pin up girl aspect that yoy will most likely want to avoid at work