Corporette.com

Updated: Jul 14, 2022 357 Comments · by

Thursday’s Workwear Report: Pique Knit Blazer

The Personal Shopper (TPS) |

This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

For me, summer outfits = all the stripes. Nautical. Seersucker. Breton. I love them all. This double-breasted blazer from Banana Republic Factory is right up my alley. I like the length, the functional pockets, and the red contrast under the collar.

I would wear this with navy trousers and a pointy-toed shoe, just to make it look a bit more formal for the office.

The blazer is $65 on sale (plus an extra 15% off at checkout) and comes in regular sizes XXS–XXL and petite sizes XXS–XL.

This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

Sales of note for 9.10.24

About Elizabeth

Elizabeth is a 30-something lawyer living on the East Coast. She spent seven years as a Biglaw associate in NYC, three years as a partner at a medium-sized firm, and is now in-house counsel for a large company. She loves Diet Coke, '90s sitcoms, and dresses with pockets.

Comments

  1. Anon

    Thanks to whomever posted the “how to dress your tummy” link last weekend. I have long been a pear, but have shape-shifted in middle age / decades of sedentary desk jobs / no-gym-COVID, so now have to master how things drape and fall over the stomach area, even for shirts and pants that technically fit. It was very helpful!

    • Vicky Austin

      I checked that out too and in case anyone else is interested, it’s MM Personal Styling on YouTube – she has tips for everybody!

    • anon

      Sigh, I need to look at this. I know how to be a pear. I don’t know how to be a perimenopausal woman who is still carrying pandemic weight and a nasty set of fibroids.

    • Anon

      Also, pants have changed, so your shirts / pants from 4-5 years ago may work with 2022-2022 items, but may need some styling adjustments to look fresh and current.

    • anon

      Seriously, the biggest challenge for me is that my waist measurement is like 3 inches larger when I’m sitting as opposed to standing. So if i wear pants that fit when i sit, they fall down when I’m walking. Any tips? (apart from elastic waistbands)

      • Anon

        I literally own separate jeans for sitting and standing. It’s insane. The good thing about those videos are that they understand dressing this type of body isn’t about weight, I’m a size four and I’ve been dealing with dressing this body type my whole life. Even at my thinnest,

    • Anonymous

      Yay, that was me! I’ve really enjoyed her videos, so so happy that other’s have found them helpful as well.

      And again, thanks to everybody yesterday. I was white sneaker OP, and got great tips!

  2. Anon

    I have a 30 minute phone interview with internal recruiter for what looks like a unicorn job that I don’t want to blow. Please share all your phone interview advice relevant in 2022! Are the following topics okay to ask at the initial screen – budgeted salary range, WFH opportunity, COVID precautions?

    • Anonymous

      You can certainly ask, but I would appear open as to the response. I am very much over young attorney candidates who are attempting to demand 100% remote jobs. Sorry. No. Go away.

    • Anonymous

      Why would you need to ask any of those? If this is a job you really want, act like it. Be enthusiastic. Make it easy to say yes to you. You can ask all those questions once you have an offer.

      • NYCer

        In general, I agree with this. I guess if any of those items are an absolute deal breaker though, then it would probably make sense to ask now. But otherwise, I would save those questions for later.

        FWIW, I don’t think many companies have Covid precautions any more.

      • Anon

        +1 OP, you say this is a unicorn job which means you really want it. To me asking about the WFH and COVID cautions immediately honestly might make you come across not great. (And as many pointed out, not sure the point of asking about COVID cautions at all). Even if WFH opportunity is a deal breaker to you, I don’t know…make them want you first so there can be some potential negotiation or something down the line rather than just seeming like you care about that the most right off the bat.

    • Anon

      I would ask all of these things. You are interviewing the company as much as they are interviewing you.

    • Anon

      Ask about any deal breakers you have – if you’d turn down a job over something, don’t waste your time by not asking early.
      The only problem with asking about COVID precautions is that every organization will say “yes, we did great” and the variation is huge. I would ask in a roundabout way – e.g., how long was the office closed, what is typical schedule now, is the team in the office on the same days, etc. I interviewed with a company that was super proud of their covid precautions, which included having people return to the office 4 days a week (previously they’d been 5 days in office) in June 2020 with plexiglass cube dividers.

    • Janey

      I wouldn’t ask these things in the initial phone screen. The purpose of the phone screen is to assess if they want to move you further in the process. The time to ask about salary/WFH/COVID is once you have an offer, unless you have absolute bright lines such that the answer to your questions would make it a waste of your time to go to the next round of interviews.

      • Anonymous

        Really disagree as to salary. I always discuss range in the screener and 99% of the time the recruiters bring it up first. It makes no sense to continue past the screener if you can’t make salary work.

        • Anon

          Hard same. I honestly think it’s easier to do (politely and respectfully while still selling yourself) with the recruiters than the substantive interviewers.

    • Anon

      If this is n internal position you should have a basic idea about all these topics. Or should be able to find out through your internal network.

      • Anon 2.0

        This. I don’t understand why you’d need to ask about covid precautions given you already work there? Fwiw, I don’t think covid precautions are really a thing anymore either, at least where I live.

        • Anon

          I’m in the Bay Area (COVID caution central) and office COVID cautions are not a thing even here anymore, at least in my office (where we used to have them). Not sure what answer OP is looking for.

          • Anonymous

            Our facility has zero COVID precautions, but we are allowed to WFH forever if we want to and in-person meetings have been cancelled recently over COVID concerns. After one executive meeting became a superspreader event they realized that if they got us sick we wouldn’t be able to work.

          • Anon

            The BA 5 wave is bigger in the Bay Area than just about anywhere in the country. Wastewater tests don’t lie.

          • Anon

            Is this snark at me? I didn’t say I made the rules. Just reporting on reality of what rules are or are not in place.

          • Anon

            No need to snark, the point is that companies are no longer doing anything different than anywhere else in society. Vaccine checks to dine are done, mask mandates are no longer a thing, it would be odd to have a workplace do something more than that and out of touch to expect it.

      • Anon

        She says internal recruiter, which I think means a recruiter on the inside of the company as opposed to an external third party recruiter. Not that she works there already.

    • Anon

      Although I think a LOT of these comments are oldheads projecting about young people not being exploited like they were, I do think that THOSE particular questions are for second or third interviews or after job offer has been procured. The initial screen is for you to learn about the job itself.

      • Anonymous

        Being asked to.leave your home is not exploitation. Good luck to you if you proceed through life with this definition of exploitation, though.

        • Anon

          I’m going to gently suggest you do some work on yourself; the anger you’re displaying here toward a total stranger making a relatively innocuous comment is concerning.

    • Anonymous

      Read up on the star interview method. At this stage, you’ll likely have a conversation that’s verifying your resume while they give you more insight into the company and position, but it’s always good to have a few anecdotes on hand to highlight strengths. Chances are they will discuss full time/hybrid/remote without you needing to prompt. Every interview I’ve had in the past few months has done this. I think the other posters are being very naive if they think it isn’t a major factor in recruitment right now. If the company doesn’t mention, I would assume it’s full time on-site (but verify flexibility in later stages) since the ones with flex are eagerly discussing it–they know it gives them a big advantage.

    • Anonymous

      For sure ask about salary range -that’s entirely relevant to continuing the process. It’s just as likely that the recruiter will ask you first, so be prepared with an answer. The other questions are not right for a screening interview.

    • Woof

      Don’t ask anything at all during a first interview that is about your wants or needs. Ask about the job, the department, how to succeed, etc. All of these questions are for later down the road. You may be able to discern some of these if you ask about departmental culture, etc., but otherwise, a strong no to anything that is about you at this stage.

  3. anon

    TW: weight loss

    Does anyone have any advice for building a more professional wardrobe while also losing weight? Backstory, I’m about 60% to my goal weight, and at the same time, I’m going from a hybrid and very casual in the office job to a fully in the office upper end of business casual, semi-regular business professional job. I have a decent number of tops that fit from the “old days” in the office, but pretty much everything else is way too big. I don’t want to spend a ton until I get closer to my goal weight, but I also don’t want to look off in this new gig – which is very senior.

    For specifics, I’ve lost 40 pounds, have another 25-30 to go, am 5’9″ and am currently a size 8 on top, 10 on bottom, and based on past experience, I think my goal weight will put me around a 4-6 on top and a 6 on bottom – so about 1-2 more sizes. I could see investing in some nicer blouses that are sold in S/M/L as I can see those still fitting, but I’m struggling justifying investing in dresses/pants.

    It’ll probably take another ~4 months to hit my goal, and I don’t want to push it too hard, especially with the job change – slow and steady weight loss has been the most successful for me so far.

    • Anon

      I feel like Banana Republic Factory and J Crew Factory are solid go-tos with lots of items that work in a more casual office and non-work as well.

    • The Lone Ranger

      Dress the body you have. You don’t need to invest a ton, 2 to 3 pairs of pants or 2-3 skirts will see you through. If they fit well, they can be medium quality, not neccessarily investment pieces. You will be very sick of them by the time you reach the next size, but neutral clothing that fits you is much better than ill fitting clothing. Check thrift and consignment stores, if that’s your jam, or look at places like Macy’s that run frequent sales.

    • Anon

      In a “very senior” role, I assume the compensation is such that you have more than enough money to buy clothes that fit and are professional. Buy a capsule wardrobe – maybe things like wrap dresses if they work for you – and buy new stuff as you lose weight. There aren’t clothes that span 3 dress sizes, so you’re going to need to purchase intermediate clothes.

      • anon (op)

        I *can* afford them, but it just seems silly to spend the money! I think I’m also just trying to transition my brain from spending no money on work clothing for the last few years.

        Alas, wrap dresses are a disaster on me, but I might hit up poshmark and just bit the bullet on the other few things I won’t be able to find.

        • Anon

          As someone who still has “poor college student syndrome,” I get this.

          But your choices are to wear ill-fitting clothes or to buy clothes that fit you now. There’s no third option. Clothes don’t exist that span 3 dress sizes, especially for senior-level workwear.

          If it makes you feel better, consider that having a capsule wardrobe one or two sizes up isn’t the worst thing. You get stressed, sick, or unable to exercise, and you will have mice clothes that fit.

        • Flats Only

          Don’t buy at the top end (so $100 pants not $600 pants), and think of it as getting something you’ll be able to pass on in good condition to a needier person soon.

    • Chl

      I think dresses tend to be fairly forgiving – you could invest in a couple in your current size (leverage Poshmark or thredup) that could get you through a size or two. You don’t need a ton but having professional clothes that fit is important. Alternatively maybe a pair of black and navy elastic backed pants (jcrew easy pants) to pair with tops.

    • Allie

      I think because of the pandemic, nice “work” clothes are really cheap on thredup.com right now. I’d start there.

      • Anonymous

        +1 or Swap.com is even cheaper, although the pictures and info is not as comprehensive so it is a little more hit or miss.

      • Anon

        Poshmark too – I have a whole closet of nice MMLF dresses & similar items that are not getting worn since I’m now permanently WFH.

    • Anon

      With as much weight as you have already lost, you can either look like invest in 2 pairs of pants that fit at each size (where you are now and as you continue to lose) or look like sloppy and unprofessional wearing pants that are too big. You deserve to wear clothes that fit and that convey a crisp and collected professional. Don’t create negative impressions based on appearance , even if those would be completely unfounded. You have worked hard for your career nd your weight loss and you should feel good about wearing clothes that fit.

      • anon

        This. You don’t need to buy a ton, but buy what fits you now. I heartily second the recommendations for factory stores when you’re not wanting to invest much.

    • Anonymous

      I find dresses accommodate more size change than skirts or pants, and would suggest buying a few that fit you currently.

    • Janey

      Honestly, I’ve always felt like spending clothes on a new size is a reward for losing the weight. So spend what you need to dress the body you have now. I think getting Anne Klein or similar brand pants from TJ Maxx should be fine – you can get decent looking pants for $40 or so. I also like the Alfani pull-on pants from Macys, and the nice thing is that they’re stretchy so they flex through ~2-3 sizes.

    • wrap dresses

      I’ve lost 110 lbs over the last few years and what consistently worked for me as I was transitioning sizes was true wrap dresses. You can cinch them in tighter as you lose more weight. In general, I had more luck with dresses/skirts than pants. I’m at goal weight/size now and am in the process of slowly rebuilding a work wardrobe since I’m mostly work from home. Congrats on the weight loss!

      • Anon

        I’ve had trouble finding nice wrap dresses recently that are neither polyester garbage nor $400. Any brands that are good?

        • Is it Friday yet?

          Boden has jersey ones that are pretty nice and like $100-150ish full price.

      • Anon

        wow go you!!

        I’m 50 pounds down since Feb and have about 50 to 65 to go so thanks for the inspiration!

    • Anon

      I’ve been up and down the scale a few times (unfortunately on the up side right now). For the in between sizes, stretchy black separates are your friends. Everything in knits. A couple of pairs of black pants, a black knit dress. Then all you need are a few shells and a couple of third pieces (blazers, hoodies, cardigans, big shirts – whatever is your style), which you can find second hand online or at better thrift or consignment stores. The black stretchy basics I’d buy new but at a discount store like an outlet or Macys (which I think of as a discount store because it seems like everything is always 40% off)

    • Lenora

      Tailoring and capsule wardrobes are your friend here. I would do Ann Taylor or something similar. It’s not ridiculously expensive but it’s quality enough to wear on repeat like you will have to with a capsule. I would get two suits, one in grey and one in black (or whatever neutrals work best for you). Wear them matching sometimes and mix and match sometimes. Maybe a statement blazer and a dress too. When the fit becomes too baggy tailor them down to your new size. Once you’re ready to size down again it might be time for a new capsule. Repeat as needed! I had great luck with this in my formal office. Best of luck!

  4. anon8

    What’s your go-to birthday gift for friends? I need to get my long-distance BFF a birthday present and am feeling uninspired.

    • Vicky Austin

      Will a card + consumables work? Emily McDowell’s cards are awesome for badass friends.

    • Pompom

      I send flowers from Bouqs, and a card with a heartfelt note. Occasionally, if the absolutely right thing makes itself known to me–like, this screams my friend’s name–I will send that in addition or as a replacement; usually a consumable.

    • Bonnie Kate

      Big beautiful coffee table books – it’s a know your person gift, if you post BFF interests we can give recommendations. One of my good friends got me a coffee table book featuring women entrepreneur for my birthday one year since I was at the beginning stages of a new venture, and I was quite touched.

      Also, quirky art in a frame. A few years ago I got my BFF this Moira print and put it in a gold frame and she loves it; it’s hanging in her kitchen:
      https://sammygorinart.com/products/moira-drinking-coffee-in-bed-fine-art-print?variant=32365350715486

      An upgraded version of something she uses a lot. Super soft blankets.

      • Anon

        Ok I’m going to push back on blankets (along with mugs, picture frames, candles). Those items have become the token gift for women in their 20s and I (and all of my friends!) have more than I could possibly need. At least candles are consumable, but how many throw blankets does an apartment dweller need?

        • Anon

          I found out that I wander away from lit candles, so I only use them if the power goes out. In the meantime, I use the scented ones in drawers.

          • Bonnie Kate

            I do this too! Ironically, in my throw blanket drawers. :) I feel like it’s a nice little life hack.

        • Bonnie Kate

          Lol fair enough. Personally I’m never going to be mad about a nicer throw blanket (I was thinking of the west elm faux fur ones that get super great reviews, but they’re above OPs budget), but I tend to use throw blankets constantly in every single room I’m in and happily switch out old worn ones to nicer new ones. However I have a lot more space than an apartment dweller has.

      • Anon

        This is a “know your friend” thing. I gave a very nice throw blanket to a friend who uses ratty comforters as throw blankets, but just assume most people have them. Even if they have loads of storage space, who needs 10 throw blankets? Why buy something so it can sit in a basement?

        • Anon

          Yup. I’m the anon from 10:03. When I was just out of college my aunt gave me a really nice, soft throw blanket. Awesome! Then I got like 4 more which I don’t need (kept 1 additional one so I have one for the couch, one for my bed) and immediately donated/returned the rest. Even if I lived somewhere bigger, there’s only so many I need.

          Ditto mugs: I love cool hand thrown mugs. My other aunt has given me a few of these. But the last thing I want is a generic target or other basic mug that’s a popular gift. At this point though I also don’t want a nice mug. I have like 5, which is plenty for myself and any guests.

          • Bonnie Kate

            This is making me smile and realize I’m definitely the outlier in my love of throw blankets. On any given evening, I could be using two throw blankets (which are actually giant bed size ones) on the couch, DH could be using one, and our dog could be curled up in another. Yes sometimes I use two, DH thinks it’s ridiculous but I can seriously cocoon right up in them. And then we have one on our bed (that I legit use every night). I have another in my meditation space that I only use for meditation. I have one in my office. I have several yoga blankets for yoga practices (one of which was my grandma’s that I love) that I also use outside on the porch. I have one on our guest bed. I keep one in my car trunk for watching niece and nephew sports games. And I have a lightweight one that I keep on our window seat that I use when I read there (and the pup uses it too). oh and we have another one on the sectional in the basement that is basically DH’s mancave.

            LOL yeah that’s a lot, and I feel that all of these are used frequently and are necessary. Apparently I’m a little obsessed with having something on my lap at basically all times. And I do not like dragging the same blanket from room to room.

          • anon8

            Yeah part of my problem is that I’ve been exchanging gifts with this friend for fifteen years so I’ve definitely exhausted all mug/candle options! Was wondering if anyone would have a mythical specific “this thing is awesome” that they’ve given as gifts.

        • Anonymous

          I love throw blankets but I’m fussy about them, so prefer to choose my own.

          Please do not get me, or anyone I visit, a scented candle. Headache city.

    • Anon

      My friends and I love to exchange books for birthdays. Flowers are also a good option.

        • Cb

          Definitely! A friend gave me a book on Tuesday and I was delighted! Our venn diagram of reading tastes is nearly a circle, so she could chose well for me.
          Other things I’d like – some KBeauty treat or fun pens, highlighters, etc.

    • Anon

      I usually look around the gifts section of Catbird.
      If she likes to cook, Penzey’s Spices has nice variety packs.
      A box set of bright nail polish is fun for summer.
      And flowers are never wrong!

      • anon8

        OP here– Any specific reccs for consumables? I agree I’d prefer to give a consumable but I’m feeling uninspired with random tea/wine/chocolate options.

        • Allie

          spirits from a local (to them) distillery, coffee from an ethically sourced place, really good olive oil and vinegar, milk brand treats are always a big hit. . .

          I think the point of consumables is that you can repeat — I personally will take good coffee as a gift over and over and over again.

        • PolyD

          I second the Penzeys rec above.

          If she drinks, there are some nice c-tail kits out there. C- tail Courier, Shaker and Spoon are a couple of them.

          • Cora

            I like this Penzey’s idea, definitely going to use it. My friend group is starting to lean towards consumables, everyone has enough stuff, and we also all do cook.

      • Duckles

        Being the voice of dissent about consumables; I don’t eat sweets or drink and I’m not interested in receiving that. I’m not really a stuff person either but my friends and I that exchange gifts (in far away cities, if it matters) do the usual (candles, jewelry, comfy things, etc) but always pretty personal versions of it and I always like that I still think of them when I use those things. We also aren’t tied to bdays— it’s more, if I see something that reminds me of Beth, I’ll buy it, and if it’s near her bday, great, and if not, she’s getting it anyway (and no hard feelings if we skip bday presents sometimes, though we do always try to send cards)

    • Worried

      I usually buy a face or foot mask /hand cream/ nice lip balm, or bath product (either a grouping, or one fancier product) and a small bar or box of fancy chocolate. I find the beauty products at Anthropologie make good gifts, and as I mentioned before, I buy one or combine of a few together depending on size and cost. Sometimes I add a book, or a notebook.

      • Worried

        Adding to this— If I can find the products easily, I may gift a lemon verbena hand cream for example, with a similar scented soap and a yellow notebook and Citrus chocolate — again— all consumables, or can be passed on if it is not to someone’s taste ( though usually, I know my friends allergies, scent preferences, but would avoid scent if I know someone has sensitivities.)

    • Anon

      I gave my longtime friend a Sunday Riley kit that included Good Genes and she’s still talking about it. You said you were looking for specific suggestions!

    • Anan

      My cousin sent us a Milk Bar birthday cake last year for my daughter’s birthday and it was a huge hit.

  5. Bad Boss

    Please help me figure out how to deal with a bad boss. I’ve tried managing up but he just won’t manage and does not support my development, despite glowing reviews. Ideally I’d like my position moved to another team or to take a new position doing the same thing under a different boss (this exists). How do I ask grand boss this or tell him my boss sucks more generally? He is not great either, but I think he will care.

    • Anonymous

      Can you find a way to talk about it as a positive move for you? Something you are excited about on the new team? I’d try to frame it as “I want to get that new opportunity”(grand boss can give this to you and have no problems) as opposed to “current boss sucks” (even if grand boss gives you the move, grand boss still has a problem). Sorry you have to deal with this.

    • Anonymous

      Following for tips. I’m working on this right now. I had been nervous to talk to my boss’s boss as he can pretty difficult in his own way and I was very worried about his reaction. But I had gotten to the point that I was job hunting and decided would rather deal with the worst case scenario if he reacted badly than have nothing change. To my surprise, he took it really well and was sort of aware of the issues with my boss but now that he knows the full extent of it he’s doing what he can to help me. It’s still just going okay, given my office is pretty dysfunctional to begin with, and to be honest I’m still job hunting but I do appreciate the tips from my boss’s boss on how to work with my manager and know that he’s doing what he can to support me as well.

    • Anonymous

      I would find a reason you want to move to another team and pitch it to big boss as a great use of your skills, filling a need they have, etc. I don’t see an upside to pinning it on dislike of your current boss, especially when you want to stay at the same org.

    • Anon

      Get another job, I don’t think you’re likely to get those asks approved. Sometimes the only way to manage a bad boss is to leave.

    • Flats Only

      Start networking internally. It sounds like you work for a large-ish organization. You must have colleagues who you know/work with on other teams. WITHOUT badmouthing your current boss, work on showing off your capabilities and sussing out what other opportunities there might be. If you’re staying in your org you want the situation to resolve as “There is such a great opportunity to do X on Y team that we need Sarah for given her expertise at ABC”, which will get you into a different team and allow your current boss to save face so he doesn’t try to undermine you down the road. Don’t expect that complaining to your grand boss will result in your being plucked up and moved – you need to find the opening yourself.

    • Anon

      I can all but guarantee that your boss’ boss knows that there are problems. With that in mind, pitch it as finding more interesting work elsewhere, growing your skillset, etc.

  6. Anon

    My new apartment doesn’t have laundry in the building so I’m looking at ways to limit trips to the laundromat. Not in NYC, so wash & fold services aren’t as common here (I’ll probably do it on occasion but not regularly). I saw this hand-crank washer (will post link below), and wanted to know if anyone had used something similar and what their experience was? Or if there’s anything else you’d recommend to cut down on laundromat trips.

    • Allie

      I bought one and only used it once in five years of living in an apt. w/o laundry. I found it much easier to have a full two weeks of clothes and just do laundry twice a month than anything else.

    • Anon

      What about leaning into undershirts, so that your clothes are not touching your skin? Or investing in some jersey-type tops that can easily be hand washed in the sink, rung, and hung dry.

      • Anon

        I already wear undershirts with sweaters, but otherwise don’t wear tops that I could wear an undershirt with. I could probably have wash most of my clothes in a sink though!

    • Anon

      Drying rack to put in your shower / bathtub so things can dry while you are at work. That will take care of a lot of underwear, etc. Not ideal for heavy fabrics like denim in the summer.

      Also: Febreze unscented.

      • Anonymous

        Yes to drying rack.
        No to Febreeze, lots of us are allergic, even the unscented. Use cheap vodka instead.

    • Lily

      Take off your street/work clothes as soon as you get home and change into loungewear. If no smells or stains, hang everything up promptly so they can air out and regain shape. Spot clean as much as you can. Obviously in the summer I would not plan to wear tees or tanks more than one or two times (I don’t sweat much, YMMV), but I could definitely see wearing a pair of cotton or linen or jean shorts a few times before washing, and definitely work pants or skirts.

      Undies, bras, and thin tanks/undershirts can be washed easily enough in your sink and hung over the shower rod or on a foldaway drying rack.

      I’d have at least three sets of sheets so that you can change your sheets once a week without having to go to the laundromat frequently.

      • Anon

        Yes! The sheets/towels dilemma! As I change out weekly. I’ve also made a few eco friendly swaps that lead to more laundry (rags instead of paper towels, cotton face rounds). I definitely re-wear pants and non-sweaty shirts already but do worry about sweaty clothes: my commuting shirts (30 min walk to work in a humid summer) and workout clothes getting stinky between washes.

        • Anonymous

          Apparently most Americans change their sheets every 2 to 4 weeks. Weekly sheet changes don’t have to be a thing unless you want them to.

    • anon

      So, honestly? Buying more clothes. When I was in this situation, I did laundry 2x a month, tops. I had enough clothes, but I needed to buy more underwear, so I did and that was that. I’d occasionally hand wash athletic pieces in the sink though, too.

      • Anon

        Lol I just downsized my closet (a lot!) in preparation for the move, but I still should have plenty of clothes…

    • Anonymous

      You cannot successfully hand wash sheets, towels or jeans. Or cleaning rags unless you do, what, boil them?

      You can successfully hand wash silk, wool, bras, underwear, thin tops.

      I think you will use more time and energy on a hand-crank than the erergy to go to the laundromat. Washing mashines are one of the true leaps in women’s lib, no reason to male yourself revert.

      If you do find yourself at home with hand washed items that never dry (don’t be a mildew person!), ironing them (no steam!) will help.

  7. Simsi

    Does anyone have recommendations for a housekeeper/cleaning service in South Denver? (University Park, Platt Park, Wash Park) TIA

  8. Anon

    I have a work trip to Aurora, CO next month. I won’t have a car (fly into Denver and cab to Auroroa). I’ve been to Denver before but not Aurora. I will have a Sunday afternoon to myself — anything not-to-miss?

    • Kristina

      Not in Aurora, but if you have never been to a Meow Wolf, you should go to the one right near Mile High Stadium. Meow Wolf is an interactive art installation that started in Santa Fe and now has locations in Denver and Las Vegas. It is very hard to describe but is generally unlike anything you’ve ever experienced before.

      • Anon8

        Yes Meow Wolf is so good!!! I’ve done all three of them, they’re all incredible in their own way. The Denver one is absolutely massive.

    • Colorado

      Aurora is huge so you’ll need to Uber to get around. Stanley Marketplace in Aurora or Cherry Creek State Park, or take an Uber into Denver – Rockies are in town, or go to RiNo or downtown for breweries, Denver Art Museum, Meo Wolf, etc.

  9. Anon

    What is the reason that people don’t put salary or at least a range in job postings? I don’t want to waste my time on a job that pays $16/hour. People have a lot of random deal-breakers, but salary is the BIG one. And I can’t pay a lot of bills for a job that is $50K (and I’m making $75K) — a 1/3 pay cut is a big deal to me, so if you pay that, just say that and don’t waste your time and my time.

    HR people — is there any reason that this makes sense? It’s like having RE listings with no price on them. I can buy a $125K house, but if your cute house is $450K, just let me know so I don’t start feeling like oh, this house could so be my forever home.

    /endrant

    • Ribena

      I see this and raise you: recruiters who will have an in depth conversation with you but either don’t know or can’t tell you the salary range.

    • Anon

      Agreed. I have to take time off of work, make arrangements, etc for several rounds of interviews to only be told after 5 hours of interviewing (+ how many hours of prepping?!) that the job pays less than I already make, the benefits are meh at absolute best, and I don’t actually want the job?

    • anon

      I’ve been told by others in my organization that they don’t want to limit the applicant pool by posting salaries. Basically, they don’t want people to self-select out of applying when they see the salary, which is negotiable. (I swear, only the people making 6-figures think this way.) But it’s dumb and doesn’t make sense for a number of reasons.

      • BeenThatGuy

        +1 and I’ll add that the salary is omitted at times because they don’t want current employees knowing what the incoming employee would be making. All shady.

      • Bonnie Kate

        yep, that’s what I’ve been told too. I argued to include salary ranges in the last couple rounds of job postings and got the bosses to include it by pointing out a lot of good candidates won’t apply to postings without salaries. They still hate being the first people to put salary out on the table, it’s so odd. We can talk about million dollar projects, quotes, costs all day long but prospective employee salaries still are so taboo.

        • Anon

          Even more infuriating – I was discussing candidates with a couple of managers once and these two super high earning males were disqualifying a great candidate because “he led with money” which they found distasteful.

          What that meant was that he asked about the salary.

          These managers fully expected that the job was so great and it should be such an honor to work for the company that salary shouldn’t be the first consideration, or even on the first page.

          Easy for them to say with their country club and gated community lifestyles.

    • Anne-on

      I just ask. Yes, it’s insane that it’s not standard to give a range so I just ask. And no, I won’t dislose MY salary range, you are the one trying to hire me, you get to give me your range. Also I appreciate that it’s always listed in some states (CO?) so I use that as a basis.

      • JTM

        Same. I’m not moving forward unless I know it’s worth my time, so I ask right at the beginning. I’m not going to put time & effort into prepping & interviewing if I know I’ll never take that salary.

    • NYNY

      Totally agree that it’s inane and wastes so many people’s time. In my organization, each job has a grade, but the salary bands for each grade are massive – think $60K-$120K for one. Honestly, they’re useless. As a hiring manager, I have to refer applicants to the HR team to talk salary, which also feels wrong. The entire system needs a massive overhaul.

    • Anon

      I love that some jurisdictions now require that the salary range appear in a job posting. It’s a step towards greater transparency that should help workers.

    • Anonymous

      I’ve been a hiring manger and can tell you exactly why. I go into things expecting to hire a product manager. Let’s say the job range for that is $75-95K depending on experience. I don’t want a more senior person to skip over my job posting because they want $12)k. If I get someone in the door that’s a Senior Product Manager that can do senior level work, I’ll find the budget money to pay them $120k+.
      If I list the job as “product manager ($75k+, salary and title commensurate with experience up to $130k) then I get a bunch of product manager level people who are $75-80k level in skill and experience asking for $130k.

      A solution would be for companies to post their pay bands for all jobs and titles. In my org. that’s a range of 20-30k for some titles and your offer is always in the bottom half of the range so you can grow in salary in that title without a promo every year.

      • Anonymous

        One option for this sort of situation is to post two jobs, one for project manager, one for senior project manager, with the corresponding salary ranges.

      • Anon

        A simple way to fix this problem is to advertise two roles. Senior and junior.

    • Anonymous

      It’s frustrating. I think I’ve told this story here before, but when I was an associate in biglaw (6 years in) I went through 5 rounds of interviews with a boutique law firm. They had at least a general idea of my then-current salary; they certainly knew what my starting salary had been. The offer was $10k less than my starting salary. I tried to negotiate it up to match starting salary, which would’ve been less than a 10% bump, and they rescinded my offer because they were offended that I tried to negotiate. They had the gall to be mad at me for wasting their time. If you’re not willing to negotiate, or if you know you have a cap, especially if you know the cap is significantly less than your applicant’s current salary, then make that clear up front. I feel absolutely no sympathy for employers who have trouble hiring because they are so used to being able to treat applicants horribly. Maybe if you treat people better you will be able to hire!

    • Anon

      Colorado has a new law requiring all job postings to have salary ranges in order to reduce pay inequity. It’s great!

  10. Ribena

    I saw Come From Away last night and can’t recommend it enough. SO life affirming and I feel so inspired to pay the kindness forwards. It turns out also that the real Kevin T was in the audience too which is very cool.

    • Anon

      I’m sure it’s not the same as seeing it in person, but there’s a filmed version on Apple tv, I really enjoyed it!

    • PolyD

      That is a fantastic show.

      Sort of similar, The Band’s Visit is also a nice little musical about people unexpectedly stuck in a place and everyone rising up to be their best.

    • Anon

      Unpopular opinion but I thought that show was so cheesy. I cry at everything and I didn’t cry at that because it felt so over the top.

    • Anonymous

      From Newfoundland and love it when people see the show and like it.

      A lot of people from here moved to the New York and Boston areas in the 1920s and 1930s before we joined Canada and we had 4 US bases during WW2 so there has long been an affinity for Americans and empathy for challenges they face.

  11. Super anon

    Hi all – Super Anon here from the cheating husband of the fall. I asked him for a divorce this past Saturday. It took me a long time to absorb what he did and realize that I can’t forgive what he did as a spouse (uncertain if I want to forgive as a person yet but maybe I’ll get there). There is of course more than I first knew in the fall, and I’m sure I’ll never know the extent of it which I’ve made peace with. Right now I’m still very sad about it, but I think it will be best in the long run for both of us and I know it will be best for me.

    If anyone is in the Chicagoland area, I made a burner account at superanonrette at gmail. I moved here from NYC last summer and would love to meet some likeminded friends. I’m mid thirties, in house law, no kids, happy to try new restaurants, have a drink or coffee, visit a cute shop or bookstore, etc.

    • anon

      Oh, anon, my heart is breaking for you, but I absolutely think you’re doing the right thing. I’m wishing you lots of peace and happiness moving forward.

    • Anon

      Ohh hang in there, you’ve gone through the worst part and it gets better from here. Slowly, yes, there’s still muck, but op the hard part is done. Sending you love.

    • Vicky Austin

      Big hugs to you as you continue to make peace with these changes, and wishing you lots of enjoyment of your new life.

    • DC

      I have been thinking about you ever so often, wondering how you are doing. All of the best to you.

    • Senior Attorney

      Congratulations and commiseration, Super Anon! I’m glad you found the courage to take action!!

      Sending love and support from So Cal.

    • Anonymous

      I’ve wondered about you a couple times! I’m sorry for your situation but know you are doing the right thing. Wish you were still in NYC so we could hang!

    • Emma

      I was just thinking of you last night. I’m so sorry you went through this and sending you so much love. This really seems like the right decision from your other posts and I imagine it will feel like an enormous weigh lifted off of your chest once you’re finally free.

    • Amber

      So sorry you are going through this!!Wish that I were in Chicago but sending you virtual hugs!

    • Anon

      Sending you supportive vibes. So sorry you’re going through a tough time right now. Know that the decisions you’ve made are setting you up for a brighter, better future, even if it feels hard now. I’m in Chicago and will email your burner.

    • Daffodil

      I’m so sorry about the situation you are in, but also – congratulations! My cheating (now ex) husband story is different, but there was a huge sense of relief once I knew for sure that I was getting a divorce. It takes a lot of time but it will get better!

      Not in Chicago (and too bad, as I’m also a lawyer in my mid thirties who loves bookstores and drinks and coffee!), but wishing you all the best!

  12. Anon

    After battling Cape traffic for the zillion things time, I’m finally waving the white flag and want to rent elsewhere for next year’s vacation. What are your favorite New England non-Cape beach spots? Rockport, Old Orchard Beach, Little Compton RI?

    • NYCer

      We visited friends who have a house in Little Compton last summer and had a great time. They spend all summer there and love it. We have also enjoyed Watch Hill, RI and Kennebunkport, ME.

    • Minnie Beebe

      I mean, Martha’s Vineyard. But that really doesn’t help with your traffic situation!

      Rhode Island beaches are great! Charlestown, Westerly are all awesome. One of my good friends who’s lived in SE Mass most of her life absolutely LOVES Little Compton, and raves about it every chance she gets. So maybe try that?

      And Cape traffic sucks and has always sucked. I have fond (?) memories of sitting on Rt 6 in our packed-to-the-rafters Volvo wagon, sweating it out without AC so the car wouldn’t overheat. Good times.

      • Anon

        Haha-same. My parents had a station wagon with a rear-facing third seat and I remember being stuck in that, inching along in the traffic. I think the great white shark presence has finally tipped me over the edge of wanting to go elsewhere.

    • Anon

      Caveat that I’ve never been (I’m one of the Jersey shore posters from yesterday), but a friend takes a family vacation to Block Island every year and it looks absolutely stunning.

      • Anon

        I will say Bar Harbor itself has a lot of traffic. But there are ways around it by using the free public buses to get around the island (or biking if you’re athletic) and avoiding coming into Bar Harbor at dinner time (lots of good restaurants in the area that aren’t in the village of BH). Also June and September are a lot less crazy than July and August. June can be chilly but September is normally great weather.

    • Anonymous

      Goose Rocks Beach, Parsons Beach, or Fortune Rocks in the Kennebunk/Biddeford area.

      • Anon

        The traffic to the Cape is unusually bad. I got to Acadia every summer and have also visited Newport, Watch Hill and Martha’s Vineyard in summer. None of those places are undiscovered, but the traffic onto the Cape is in a league of its own.

      • anon

        The Cape is unique in having a single road that is essentially the only access to the entire area. Most other places have at least some secondary route that relieves some of the traffic and gives you options if there is an accident.

      • Anon

        My father owns a place on the Cape, and I got around traffic by leaving at odd hours (e.g., leaving Weston at 9 pm on a Friday night). He’s also near Pocasset, so the traffic is only over the bridge.

        However, almost all Cape rentals flip over at the same time, so you really just have to sit in traffic each way. Routes 6 and 28 are also parking lots, and it’s sometimes so bad that people will, e.g., take a right turn onto 28, take a left, bang a uey, and take another right in order to avoid trying to take a left onto 28. Most of the trees are little scrub trees, so there’s no shade when you’re stuck on the road.

    • Bostonian

      South Shore native, here. I’d recommend: Westport/Marion, or that general western shore of Buzzards Bay. Gloucester or Rockport to the north. Newburyport is lovely. Duxbury on the South Shore, but not too far south that you’re dancing with the true Cape traffic. I personally despise OOB, but generally like coastal Maine. Kennebunk and vicinity, Wells, Ogunquit is great, though getting more and more crowded by the day, but nothing like the Cape. Little Compton and Portsmouth, RI are favorite non-Cape second-home locations in my finance circle – not sure what rentals look like, but it’s a great spot and SO close to Newport, which rocks.

      • Anon

        Thanks; these are great recs! Does OOB have a Hampton Beach type vibe? I loved Martha’s Vineyard, but too much of a schlep with the ferry.

        • Bostonian

          Yep. Stay away. I respect that there are many people that love it, but it’s not comparable to the cape vibe whatsoever.

  13. Anon

    Looking for a designer fanny pack/cross body bag. Willing to spend up to $3k.
    It will be my daily bag for errands, just everyday life so I only need room for phone, small wallet and keys. I have a couple Lululemon ones but wanting something that is more elevated when I want to look more put together or dress nicer.
    Recommendations??

    • anon

      Two options – I have the Bottega Veneta Loop mini (I think it’s $1,600 or so) and really like it for a smaller bag.

      Then the Hermes Evelyne – depending on the size, could be right under $3k. I found it to be a PITA to play the Hermes game and build a relationship with an SA, etc or otherwise to refresh the website every AM (the Evelyne is sold online, unlike the Birkin or the Kelly), so I bought mine in excellent condition from Fashionphile – it looks like there are quite a few right around $3k.

      • anon

        I’d note, both are definitely day bags, but it sounds like that’s what you’re looking for.

      • Anne-on

        Maybe I just lucked out but I literally just walked into the downtown Boston Hermes store and walked out with an Evelyne? I also tried on the garden party, constance, and a few others. I am in the system as I’ve bought scarves/bangles there and from other stores but hadn’t previously spent anywhere near that much before. The usual advice applies – dress nicely (or go in athleisure with fancy watch/jewelry if you want to convey the sporty SAHM vibe) and it’s probably best to go on a quiet weekday vs. weekend.

        • Anon

          I just had availability challenge with the Evelyne – I’d had good luck with a Garden Party, but it was just a challenge finding the color/size/leather combo I wanted so I just gave up and bought second hand at a very slight discount.

    • Anne-on

      I love my Hermes Evelyne. You can store a good amount in it and it retains it’s shape well. The leather isn’t too delicate, and the strap is adjustable/customizable if you want to. They’re readily available on resale sites. If you want something new, I’d go to a Nordstrom’s or Neiman Marcus to browse in person. My style is pretty classic/preppy so I’d lean towards something like a Celine, but the Saint Laurent shoulder bags are really pretty. If you want really classic – Mulberry, Aspinal of London, and Burberry all make beautiful bags that are great quality but not as well known.
      If you post your general location and style we can probably suggest a better brand/names though, what a fun day of shopping!

    • Anne-on

      I’m in mod but short answer – browse in person. I’d look at Saint Laurent, Burberry, Celine (might be too $$), Aspinal of London, Strathberry, or Mulberry. Gucci, Hermes, or Louis Vouitton on a resale site would also be a good option – esp. if you are around a ‘The Real Real’ storefront.

    • startup lawyer

      Prada sport you can get retail and it’s prob the most polished
      for something a little more fun/quirky, Marni x Porter have cute ones you can get from Japan via eBay

    • Anon

      I feel like you can get a used Chanel WOC for that. That would be my 1000% preference. My wallet’s preference is more in the budget (AllSaints) to splurge (Balenciaga) line for a cross-body smaller bag.

    • London (formerly NY) CPA

      I would go with Chanel WOC (new slightly over budget — I think $3100 + tax, could get a slightly used one for $3K). Otherwise, I’ve been really lusting after the LV Pochette Metis in the black or navy leather. That would be well within budget.

  14. Anon

    Does anyone have any dog-friendly vacation rentals in either the Asheville area or Folly Beach, SC? Resort of VRBO is OK. Your road-testing experience is helpful (vs some places that are so animal friendly as to be coated in cat hair or it’s hard to get outside to take your pet out or there isn’t really a good area for walking).

    • Anon

      When are you making a reservation? I am going to be in Asheville in 2 weeks and the place I am staying is listed as pet friendly, so I can report back.

    • Anon

      I don’t have experience that helps, but Asheville in general is one of my favorite places to dog watch since so many other establishes are dog friendly. So I’d like to think that odds are good.

      • BeenThatGuy

        +1 My parents retired to Asheville so I’ve been there many times a year for the last 2 decades. I’ve never stayed in a hotel that didn’t have dogs around. And that’s not just downtown, it’s the surrounding areas (Brevard, Saluda, Hendersonville, Fletcher, etc).

    • Duckles

      I’ve stayed in one I LOVED. Search “modern luxury apartment” in candler, NC on Airbnb (about 12 mins west of asheville). Dog friendly with a big fenced yard. It’s an issue that there’s nowhere to walk dogs in asheville if you stay in the mountains— I always took my dogs to Carrier Park or the arboretum for extra walks.

  15. Anon

    Has anyone had a mole biopsy where the results were labeled “atypical melanocytic proliferation” and sent to be further reviewed by an expert? I already have tried to contact both my derm and my plastic surgeon about what this actually means and the only thing that the offices will tell me is, you have to wait for the expert to issue his opinion and we have no idea how long that will take. My anxiety is through the roof.

    • Anon

      No one can tell you for sure without test results which is why they won’t tell you anything. They are usually benign but have abnormal cells that are somewhere between benign and malignant and obviously they want to confirm which.

    • Anon

      This is incredible frustrating to deal with and while I don’t have an answer for you as far as your test results, two of my family members had skin cancer removed last year, one was melanoma and the other the basel cell carcinoma. I also has pre cancerous cells removed and then the area treated. Ultimately what I’m getting at is, whatever the results, it should be treatable! Skin cancer is one of the most treatable cancers when caught early. We are all fine now. Just have to keep up with our dermatology appointments every few months to a year. I’m also a sunscreen pusher on everyone!! I hope that can be reassuring.

    • Anon

      My husband had a result like this and it basically meant they had to take out more area around the mole. They finally judged it a stage 0 melanoma in situ and all he needed was the surgery, no further treatment needed. That was over 10 years ago and he’s fine.

      If it was something really terrible, they’d have known right away. Hang in there.

    • RNDerm

      I was a nurse for a physician in that niche field for a couple of years and seen this a lot. There’s a spectrum between a normal mole, a funky but normal mole (dysplastic nevus) and an early melanoma (melanoma in situ). A run-of-the-mill pathologist might not feel comfortable making the call and might send it to a facility that has more expertise. There are different schools of thoughts regarding the cut off as well. I’ve seen reputable academic institutions disagree or also being unable to reach a consensus. True invasive melanomas are usually clear cut. Worse case would be that they don’t manage to make a clear diagnosis so they would recommend to treat is as melanoma in situ (MIS) to cover all the basis. MIS is considered curable and doesn’t affect life expectancy but would need to be re-excised with 5mm margin which can be a bigger deal depending on the location. Regardless, you’ll need skin checks regularly for the rest of your life. I’d be curious to know if you have a lot of other funny-looking mole, some people are more prone to them. I hope this helps!

  16. Paging Shots. Shots. Shots.

    Welcome back. It was so nice to see you here last night. Please stick around and chime in every once in a while.

  17. Anonymous

    I’m trying to think of a small thoughtful gift to send a friend for a milestone birthday. Problem being they don’t really value small and thoughtful, I know from previous conversations they check what people have spent and have spoken negatively on low spenders. In most of my circle of friends we send a card or at most flowers. I would send a $30 bottle of wine and call it done but I know I’ll be chipping in already with a few other mutual friends to cover a fancy dinner for this persons birthday, it’s just not happening for a few months due to scheduling. So they will be disappointed if I don’t send something to acknowledge it on the day but at this rate I’m spending more than my husband and I would spend on each other?

    • Janey

      Sounds like this person won’t be happy regardless of what you do, so drop this ball.

      • Anon

        +1 I find in my very wide range of circles getting people milestone birthday gifts is honestly not the default, so I personally wouldn’t sweat it, ESPECIALLY for someone with an attitude as you describe.

    • Anon

      Ouch. Trying to reserve judgment, but my first response is why be their friend? Birthday presents for adults, imo, are SO optional, and I’d never expect anything in the first place, let alone not valuing a drink/food being covered or a small gift.

      • Redux

        Yeah my first thought was that this person is either super young or super rich (and maybe both).

        One of the best pieces of advice I ever got from a relative stranger was someone who was supposed to pickup a pie for an elaborate dinner at the house of a very judgy very fancy lady. She showed up without a pie, let alone a fancy one. She said, privately, why would I bother? Whatever pie I brought would not have been good enough. This way saves me $30. I think about that all the time.

    • Anon

      Don’t allow her to dictate what you spend on her. Send a card and call it done.

    • aBr

      A card. Honestly, get something funny, pretty or whatever and give them something other than bills in the mail. Throw in a couple scratch off lottery tickets – with a note that hopefully their birthday luck works.

    • Anon

      A donation in their name to a charity– they won’t know how much you spent and can’t complain without looking like a grinch.

    • Shananana

      I feel like this is where the know the person part but things I have done in the past that have done over well for friends – nicely framed photo of a fantastic picture of the 2 of us, photo book of photos over the years (works well for long term friendships), memento of some kind based on a shared memory (is there a terrible song you used to dance to back in the day? Do something with those lyrics. Vacation you once took? Inside joke? something cute or funny that reminds them of that). I also find if you have a local craft/artisan market, something awesome and handmade can often be a way to get around the I will check what you spent on flowers/wine people. Whatever you do, then channel all of your this person matters to me into a really nice handwritten note to go with it talking about why they are awesome and you keep them in your life. Your goal is tears that you are an amazing friend who cares about them as an individual, not checking the present box (somewhat joking, mostly not).

      • Flats Only

        But is sounds like the gift receiver doesn’t value any of those things, and will only shed happy tears over a small, thoughtful, *expensive*, *designer* gift, so all the effort and emotion will be wasted and the OPs resentment will grow. Best to send a card and then contribute as appropriate to the splurgy dinner.

    • Cat

      wow, they sound awful, I would maybe mail a real card and not buy anything additional at all…

    • Anon

      Don’t give this person anything. They’ll be disappointed no matter what. Send a card if you really want to be friends with this person.

    • Anon

      INFO: Does friend give you gifts rising to the level she has set for gifts to her?

    • Ses

      Lol give a card with the exact cash amount they spent on their last gift to you. The gift to them is they don’t have to search to figure out the value.

  18. KW

    My tween daughter’s skin has started breaking out. I bought her the Cetaphil acne cleanser, but it’s almost gone and she said it’s not making a difference. What should we try next? It’s not terrible, but pimples mostly around the hairline on her forehead and an occasional break out elsewhere.

    • Vicky Austin

      My sisters and I swore by the Neutrogena orange one with salicylic acid at that age. Also, that sounds like maybe she’s sweating during sports/working out and not cleaning it off – could washing directly after practice help?

    • Aunt Jamesina

      A trip to the dermatologist. I don’t think a single OTC product has ever made a real difference in preventing acne for me.

      • Bonnie Kate

        +1 I was in my twenties before I went to the dermatologist. My parents weren’t neglectful at all, but weren’t big medical specialists people in general, and helped me try all the OTC products. I don’t blame them but do wish I could have went to the dermatologist far, far earlier; it would have prevented a lot of scarring if I could have gotten it under control earlier.

        • kitten

          exactly this. mine was never that bad but the scars have added up and I’ve spent a lot of money in adulthood on it :(

      • Anonymous

        While you are waiting on a dermatologist appointment, your pediatrician may be willing to prescribe some topical medications.

      • Anonymous

        +1 for dermatologist, especially if it’s mostly around the hairline. It may actually be something other than acne.

    • Anon

      I’d make sure she is washing her face in the morning and at night before bed. Washing after sweating/sports/activities will also help if those are occurring. Salicylic acid didn’t make an impact for me, but others swear by it. Benzyl peroxide did make a huge difference for me. I’d stick with a gentle cleanser for her face and try the acid or peroxide in a moisturizer or serum form. If none of that works, derm definitely.

    • Anon

      I grew up with horrible acne. A salicylic acid face wash once or twice a day, with a benzoyl peroxide gel on top during the day plus a very light moisturizer to avoid drying out. If she is very diligent with that and it does not improve in 1-2 months, then make a dermatologist appointment.

    • Shananana

      As someone who battled acne from 12-35, things I wish I had been taught/learned sooner to keep it under control: Other people might not have to, but you have to wash your face morning night and after a workout, this is a non negotiable.
      Moisturizer every time you wash your face, also non negotiable. So much of oiliness and breakouts for me ended up getting better once I stopped stripping my skin and starting adding moisture to it regularly.
      Buy extra pillowcases, swap them out every 3 ish days for new ones. Especially important if you are a side or stomach sleeper.
      Check your sunscreen! Took me a while to realize my skin will react every time to certain sunscreens.
      Also, does she wear headbands that touch her hairline where she is breaking out? In addition to needing to wash after a workout, you may need to swap to a sensitive skin laundry care if you don’t already. I will always break out if something washed in Tide is near my face.
      I wouldn’t start a tween with this, but I always tell people who are struggling long term that dairy was the biggest trigger for me. When I cut back my dairy consumption (never to zero, just back) it made a massive difference. Lastly, probiotics. If your diet is already pretty good with them, no concerns, but if it isn’t adding in a supplement or natural source regularly helped me quite a bit.

    • Anon

      Neutrogena orange salicylic acid face wash. It’s the only thing my skin tolerates even at age 38. Then salicylic acid gel to apply at night. And a trip to the dermatologist if cystic acne/really painful or persistent. Salicylic acid pads to wipe off hairline during the day.

    • Pep

      The hairline breakouts suggest there may be an issue with her shampoo/conditioner. Maybe she can try a non-comedogenic haircare line like SEEN.

      • Another anon

        Yes, hairline breakouts for me are caused by a product. Coincidentally, Cetaphil also makes me break out, but Neutrogena products never have.

    • Anon

      I think you need to consult a derm. Hairline breakouts can be a number of things (in my case they meant I needed vitamin B3, and I never would have figured that out at Sephora).

    • anon

      A derm. My mom bought all the products for me and I suffered when I didn’t have to. Take your daughter to a derm. She will thank you.

    • KW

      Thank you for all of the suggestions. We already have an upcoming derm appointment to treat a recurring wart on her finger, so I’ll see if she wants to bring it up then. I’m trying to tread carefully, being helpful without overstepping. Thanks again.

      • Anonymous

        Try Cera-Ve. Also drug store but makes my skin much happier than Cetaphil.

      • Anonymous

        I have a teenager. If the acne bothers her but she’s hesitant to bring it up herself with the derm, it’s your job either to prompt her or to do it yourself.

      • Anonymous

        Try non sulphate shampoos. I like Aveda, but whatever SLS and silicone free.

  19. Strong Coffee Please

    I joined my in laws at a vacation house last week. It came up in casual conversation that the person who wakes up first has been making half caff coffee for the house all these years unbeknownst to everyone else. My question is for the lawyers here, how best to prosecute this heinous offense?

    • Self defense

      I’d decline to prosecute on the grounds* that adding in decaf to a vacation house full of in-laws was likely self defense, to be honest.

      *heh

    • Anonymous

      fraud, intentional infliction of emotional distress, breach of an implied-in-fact contract

      • Anon

        I’d throw in breach of the covenant of good faith and fair dealing, as well.

    • Anon

      When I was pre-drinking age, my friend and I snuck some beers and got very tipsy and giggly. We got caught, and it was also pointed out to us that they were non-alcoholic beers. While it was embarrassing, we still had what we thought was a fun, drunk time.

      So if you’ve been drinking half caf this whole time and didn’t notice, I don’t think you have any damages rising to the level of a tort.

    • Woof

      In this situation I bought a small cheap Mr. Coffee and kept it in my room along with a thermal coffee cup of milk. Sorry, this is a no go.

    • Anonymous

      hahahahahaha with the full enforcement of caffeine law of course. What jury wouldn’t convict?

  20. Anonymous

    Any suggestions for fashion blogs or Instagram accounts for styling suggestions and clothing reviews? It seems like every blog, website, and Instagram account is now just referral links without any content.

    • Anonymous

      You Look Fab is great for this – lots of styling ideas, as well as reviews of clothes.

  21. Cb

    Can I have some accountability? I’ve been stalling on doing the thing – proofs on an academic article I’m really proud of – all week and just need to spend an hour doing it. I have a fresh mug of darjeeling, some biscuits, and am going to do it.

    • Anon

      Just open the file! Always the hardest part. Journals usually have strict timelines for returning proofs so that usually gets me going :)

      • Anon

        This. Nevermind that they took a year to review and accept your paper, they need the proofs within 48 hours. It’s so ridiculous!

        • Cb

          So true! The reviews took 5 months, then they wanted the decently extensive R&R submitted within 4 weeks.

    • Cb

      It’s done!! I had a few queries for the copy editor so I’ll probably have more things to do tomorrow, but the hard bit is done.

  22. Reno

    I’ll be spending about a week and half in Reno for work in the next month and wondered if there was anything fun to do there, great restaurants, etc. I’m not a gambler so the casinos don’t really hold appeal for me. I, sadly, will not have time to rent a car and drive to Lake Tahoe. I’ll be tied up from around 8-5 each day so looking for some evening fun/dining/etc., recs.

    • Anon

      Sorry, all my memories of Reno revolve around visiting my grandmother who – may she rest in peace – had the same daily routine: morning mass, taxi to the Gold Dust for 10 hours of penny slots and white zin in a plastic cup, taxi home, repeat. She lived to be 99.

    • Anon

      Watch the Norma Shearer/Joan Crawford “The Women” and dive in to how Reno was the divorce capital of the world, once upon a time.

  23. Anon

    Question for those of you who’ve had a family member isolating with COVID – what was your bar for them coming out of isolation? And did it work or did you also get COVID?

    • Senior Attorney

      I am the infected person in my house, and obviously YMMV, but by the time I tested positive I’d been sick for two days and we hadn’t been isolating, and my doctor said at that point the ship had probably sailed in terms of my husband getting infected so it didn’t make sense to isolate in the house. So… I tested positive for 11 days, we didn’t touch during any of the time after symptoms started but otherwise didn’t isolate, and he tested negative every day and never had any symptoms.

    • Cat

      eh, we didn’t bother. Like SA, by the time the test was positive, we’d been sharing PLENTY of common air. Husband never actually tested himself because he had the same symptoms in the same pattern I did, exactly two days later, so we adhered to CDC timelines for both of us to stay home until 7 days from my test (to account for the 2 day lag in husband’s infection).

      • Cat

        probably important to note, thankfully we both had short-lived symptoms, so we were both feeling normal at the date we were allowed out in a mask.

        • Anon

          I thought it was 5 days after symptoms subsided, not 5 days from first symptoms.

          • Cat

            From the CDC webs-te-
            Ending isolation if you had symptoms
            End isolation after 5 full days if you are fever-free for 24 hours (without the use of fever-reducing medication) and your symptoms are improving.

            Ending isolation if you did NOT have symptoms
            End isolation after at least 5 full days after your positive test.

          • Cat

            Oh, and the intro to those two rules is:
            Day 0 is your first day of symptoms or a positive viral test. Day 1 is the first full day after your symptoms developed or your test specimen was collected. If you have COVID-19 or have symptoms, isolate for at least 5 days.

          • Anon

            No, it’s 5 days after symptoms started/positive test and currently being symptom free

          • Anon

            Oh right, but after 5 days that’s when it’s ok to go out and about with a mask if your symptoms are gone, right? The key being masked.

          • Anon

            The CDC doesn’t if your symptoms are GONE, it says if fever is gone for 24 hours and symptoms are improving you can go out with a mask. I am not opining on whether that’s “right” or not, but the official guidance doesn’t specify that symptoms must be completely resolved.

    • Anon

      I am sorry I wasn’t clear. Family member who lives nearby but in their own place. When was the all clear for you returning to visiting in person?

      • Anonymous

        It’s ambiguous but when my bf was positive and I wasn’t recently, we waited until he tested negative on a rapid (which was 10 days, really sucked not seeing him except outside!).

        There has been a recent study in the NEJM, search for “duration of shedding of culturable virus in sars-cov2 omicron (ba.1) infection”. Median is 5 days but interquartile range 3 to 9 days.

      • Senior Attorney

        My doc says assume you are contagious as long as you are testing positive.

    • A

      By the time I realised I had Covid ( no sense of smell and taste), it must’ve been day 3. Family. Ever caught it from me though I’d been hugging and kissing them all.

  24. Anon

    Yesterday and today I’m getting “BlogVault Firewall Blocked because of Malicious Activities” when I try to visit this place on my home wifi. I don’t think I’m malicious! Can I get unblocked?

    • Cat

      I got it a few days last week on my work laptop, then it was OK for a few days, and today it’s back again. I can access it just fine on the same wifi at home but on my personal laptop!

      • Anon

        Im glad to know I’m not the only one! If this is a known issue I can wait patiently :) I was just afraid I’d ended up on some sort of real blacklist!

    • Anon

      I had this issue. Curious suggested opening a ticket with Blogvault so I googled them and used the “contact us” to tell them the message I was getting from this site and I have them my IP address.

      I got a reply within a day. They said my IP address had been flagged for posting too quickly (guilty!) but they went ahead and whitelisted it, and I haven’t had a problem since.

      Hope this helps!

    • Kat G

      I don’t know why that’s happening — it’s not a setting we’re doing on our end. I’ll look into how BlogVault works with our spam filtering plugins and our servers. Thank you for your patience!

  25. I realize this is a ridiculous problem

    Wise hive, can you help me with doing the thing? I have a bunch of scented candles that I maybe have burnt through maybe 1/2 of and I’m just done with. I want to throw them away but I can’t stand the idea of throwing away glass (instead of recycling?) but I can’t figure out how to get the wax out of them and so….they just sit here mocking me. What do I do??

    • Anon

      I get the wax out by freezing the candle. But I do think you need to burn them until there’s less than an inch of wax at the bottom. Once frozen, you press down on the frozen wax with the tip of a butter knife. It should crack and flake right out into your trash can. You may need to pry the wick out because it’s often glued to the bottom but it’s not super hard – again, the tip of the butter knife should do it.

      Now you wash the candle vessel. If you can put it in the dishwasher that’s the best, but if it’s not dishwasher safe (one where you want to keep the label like a Diptyque, or a porous ceramic vessel) just carefully wash with hot water and a small amount of dish soap.

      • Anon

        Ps all my advice is about wanting to keep the candle vessel. If you’re just looking to recycle I wouldn’t actually go through all of this.

    • Anonymous

      You can put them in the freezer, which makes the wax shrink. It should pop out then.

    • Janey

      Just throw them away. Exxon and their ilk are doing incalculably more damage to the environment than you will by throwing out some dirty glass. This is not worth your mental energy.

      Alt: post them on your local Buy Nothing group. If you have a really active group I bet they’ll get scooped up.

      • Seventh Sister

        Ours is very active, and nearly every scented thing I’ve ever posted (candles, gross perfume from my MIL) gets snapped right up.

    • Seventh Sister

      Scrape out the wax with an old knife and boil a kettle of water. Once you have gotten most of the wax out of the glass with the knife, pour the hot water into the glass, dump into a basin (like an old pot, NOT your sink), then wipe the excess wax off with a rag. I was on the Altar Guild at a church and this was how we removed wax from glass containers / candle holders.

    • Ses

      Put them in the oven on a tray in low heat, then pour the wax into something you’re happy to throw away.

    • Anon

      I have a dozen of these away on my but nothing group. An artist took them. No idea what she was going to do with them but I was very happy to find someone who wanted them.

    • Anonymous

      Your glass is likely not being recycled, even if it is being collected. Even if some is, most is not and yours is a blip. Throw these away.

    • Anonymous

      Glass that can handle that heat is hardened, and is most likely not recyclable, like Pyrex.

  26. Anonymous

    For those of you that are insurance OR have ever filed a homeowner’s claim-
    We had a big flood in the house (2nd floor water leak). The adjuster has asked for a list of personal items damaged. There is some super obvious stuff. However, there are a handful of items that were destroyed during our cleanup of the water: our shopvac is destroyed (sucked up plaster as well as water), one of our kitchen chairs, which has caning, was stepped on trying to get to the ceiling and cut it open and it completely busted beyond repair. Are these items we can claim? And for something like our chairs, if one of a set is destroyed, do we claim the full set (we can’t buy a new one-off chair) or just the one broken chair?

    I want to ensure we are compensated to the extent we can justify it, but do not want to get into sketchy territory or raise red flags- i just want them to cut me a check and move on putting my house back together.

    • Anon

      I had a similar situation and I just listed everything. One thing the insurance company paid to repair (a Persian rug), others they gave me money for, and they sent tradespeople out to repair the damage to my ceiling. I was very happy with their response. My insurer was and is CSAA (Northern California triple A) and they used a specialty water damage company to manage the entire claim.

      • Anonymous

        OP here- we have a similar situation in progress. We are mid- cleanup with the specialty company. I do not care if things are repaired or replaced (frankly right now I would settle for a kitchen floor!!) but don’t know where the line is between having insurance fix it / pay to fix it vs figure out how to fix or trash it ourselves.

    • Anon

      List everything. They’re going to nickel and dime you anyway, better to start high.

    • Smol Law

      SIU attorney – the things you mention will not get you red-flagged if you’ve been forthcoming with everything else. Your adjust should help you through the 1vs.4 chairs thing, just chat with them. List it ALL and then you can work backward from there. As much photo and financial document as you can muster will help.

      we start to red flag you when you say you had 4 gucci bags and 5 balenciaga shoes (seriously, wtf is it with balenciaga these days??) all sitting on the floor, all destroyed, but you have no proof you owned them, or you magically threw them away the day before the IA got there…

      • Anonymous

        LOL in our case it’s like “one half complete LEGO set left on the floor, one right sneaker that our daughters didn’t put away, approximately 2,500 hair bows that were left in the vanity that was flooded, paper goods, a $100 wayfair desk and a kitchen chair. And nearly $50k in structural damage.”

    • Anonymous

      I mean no you can’t get all new kitchen chairs because you broke one in clean up. That’s absurd.

      • Anonymous

        OP here. That is my thought, but in googling around and looking at responses above…maybe it is right to list it all and then have insurance deal with what can be fixed vs not. I don’t care if they pay to fix it! That would be great! I like my chairs!

        • Anon

          List everything. If they don’t cover it they don’t cover it, but at least you tried. That’s what I would do, and I’ve worked in the insurance industry for 30 years.

    • BeenThatGuy

      My childhood home was destroyed in a fire when I was in my 20’s. Everything was cataloged on the way out the door whether it was to a dumpster or out to the warehouse for the restoration company to destroy. When I say everything, I mean everything. Beds, books, tampons, shampoo, pictures, 12 plates, Pledge, etc. List every darn thing. You’ll be compensated for the chair. But not enough to replace the full set.

    • Janey

      I’d go ahead and list it. And if they’re asking you item price and year bought, DON’T FORGET TO ADD IN SALES TAX. We had a huge house flood years ago, and I shorted myself by thousands by not adding sales tax to my estimate of how much things cost when we bought them.

    • anon

      We had a flood in the basement and when the cleanup people came to get the water out, they put some of their hoses and gross tools on top of the mattress that we had just saved from the water. Very annoying. We took pictures of everything and gave receipts and just explained what had happened to our insurance guy. We also had light fixtures we had just removed and were going to sell that were on the floor of the basement that got water to them. They reimbursed for those, too, even though they were in a strange place. Again, we took pictures of everything before the cleanup and explained honestly.

  27. TSA safety pins?

    I’m making my packing list for a trip I’m taking tomorrow. If the pants I’m wearing to the airport have safety pins pinning up the cuffs, will that be a hassle at security? I googled and technically safety pins are allowed, but I’d rather not get a pat down if I can help it. Does anyone have any experience wearing safety pins through the body scanners?
    I’m considering just tacking up the cuffs, but my sewing machine is broken so I’ll have to sew by hand if I go that route.

    • Anon

      I have a magnet screwed into my skull and it’s never ever given me a problem. I think you’ll be fine.

    • Anon

      I often have a ton of Bobby pins in my hair, they don’t set it off, you should be okay.

    • Cat

      I wear Birks to travel pretty often and the giant buckles only set off the metal once in maybe 10 passes through the detector.

    • Anon

      Even if it rings, they’re not going to make you take your pants off. At worst they’ll wand you.

  28. WWYD?

    What would you do?
    I ordered about $400 worth of clothes and when the package still had not appeared six weeks later, I wrote the company and asked if they could track my package for me; my tracking info said it was still in the warehouse. They instead refunded my money and assumed the package was missing or stolen. Well, a week later, the package showed up. Of the items ordered, only about $200 of it I would keep – what should I do with the other items? They don’t fit. Do I contact the company? Do I just donate or give away? Does it matter if it’s a large retailer?

    • Anonymous

      I would contact them the same way you did last time (email, contact form) and ask what to do. If they don’t respond, do whatever you like with the clothes.

    • Anonymous

      This is may not be the “right” thing to do but this is what I would do: keep what you like and donate the rest. If you return the clothes then they will end up in a landfill or get shipped to the global south to pollute their water and air. If you were to contact the company to pay for what you’re keeping then they would likely insist that you must return what you’re not keeping in order to get a refund. So either say nothing and donate or say something and pay for items you’re donating.

    • Anon

      I would just donate the items that don’t work for you to a shelter or Goodwill. Not worth the major retailer’s time and you’re not profiting off of it if you donate. Gap and Target are starting to experiment with letting people keep items they don’t want because it’s not worth the company’s time to process returns.

    • Anon

      This happened to me with bedding from Brooklinen. I actually wanted the stuff, so they sent me another package for no charge with the same items. Well, a few weeks later, the original package was delivered (so, I got two packages of the same stuff). I contacted them to ask what to do, and they said I could send back if I wanted or just keep it all. I ended up keeping it so I’d have spare sheets and comforter. Another time I thought a package was lost from Amazon and they processed a refund. It was delivered a while later and Amazon couldn’t care less and told me to keep my money and the product.

      Basically, I would imagine the large retailer will give you the same options since they already processed the refund, but if it will weigh on your conscience, it was a very easy process to just email customer service.

      • Anon

        +1 This happens fairly often with Amazon. For a cheap item I don’t bother contacting them anymore. For $400 I would contact the retailer but there’s a good chance they would just say keep it.

    • Janey

      Ughhh how annoying. If you have a way to easily email them, I agree, do that. If it involves a phone call, I am not sure that I’d be bothered…

    • Anon

      Honestly, I’d try to donate the clothes to someone in need. $200 is nothing for a large company and times are tough for a lot of people!

    • Cat

      I’ve had this happen a few times. Each time, I contacted the retailer and asked for advice. Each time, they’ve thanked me for letting them know and said I could do what I please – I presume because they already filed the claim with their insurance.

  29. Anonymous

    Where to find a work appropriate linen dress? Or other business casual clothes to wear on hot summer outdoor events?

    I recently attended an event with a business casual dress code despite the blazing heat. A woman wore a white linen sheath dress – same silhouette as many of my work dresses – and I am dying to know where to find something similar. No polyester lining, that kind of defeats the purpose. Any ideas?

    • startup lawyer

      j crew has one. but sold out in a lot of sizes. Eileen Fisher has a bunch of linen dresses in more casual silhouettes

  30. Anonymous

    Fake eyelashes. Are you supposed to be able to tell?

    A non I know has been wearing them and they aren’t like, falling off fake, but they look…not real. I have other acquaintances that have them and they look like heavily made up eyes.

    Thoughts?? Also, I kind of like how the good ones look. Are they worth the hassle??

    • Anon

      Makeup is so individual. I would put false lashes in the same category as glittery eye shadow. No one thinks your eyelids are naturally glittery, and no one thinks your false eyelashes are real either. Not everyone is going for a natural look.

    • Anonymous

      The glue/magnet style falsies are supposed to look fake, hopefully in proportion to how fake your overall makeup looks. You don’t wear them to look natural.

      Eyelash extensions that you get done in a salon are supposed to look real, or at least, fuller-than-natural real. They look really great; some of my friends get them done before vacation so they don’t have to be bothered with eye makeup when they’re swimming or hiking or whatever. Whether it’s “worth it” depends on your tolerance for the time and money you have to dedicate to whatever maintenance is involved.

    • Sasha

      I consider myself pretty high maintenance when it comes to my beauty routine, and regularly keeping up with eyelash extensions was too much for me. They’re expensive and the look of them declines quickly after the first week and a half. But they are awesome to get done before vacation or a big event where you know you’re going to be in a lot of pictures and you want to look your best.

      • Anonymous

        Thank you! That tells me what I need to know. I was hoping they’d be a shortcut to my routine vs more to keep up with.

Back to Top

About

Work with Corporette®

Serious Stuff

work fashion blog press mentions