ByKat Hours Updated
Comments 79 Comments

Coffee Break: Polo Blaze

This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

red leather handbag with long shoulder strap

There is a lot of good buzz around Ralph Lauren’s new line for bags, and particularly this bag… and I can see why. I like the interesting curved flap and the interior zip pocket… and I appreciate the thoughtful details, like a flat base for stability, magnetic snap-flap closure, and comfortably long shoulder straps.

The red is gorgeous, IMHO, but also available in black and brown (all smooth leather) for $598 at Nordstrom and other retailers. There’s also a smaller version and a larger version.

Sales of note for 10/16

  • Ann Taylor – 50% off + free shipping on everything!
  • Brooklinen – Friends & Family – 20% off sitewide and 50% off select bundles
  • J.Crew – Extra 50% off 3+ sale styles with code – includes lots of suiting, sweaters, and pants
  • J.Crew Factory – Friends & Family, extra 15% off your purchase
  • M.M.LaFleur – October Sale Event, best prices of the season (Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off on other items)
  • Nordstrom – 5840+ new markdowns for women, up to 40% off
  • Talbots – Friends and family, 30% off your entire purchase
  • Theory – End of season sale is on with extra savings (new prices are marked)

79 Comments

    2. I prefer a darker color personally, but if it’s lined then khaki is absolutely appropriate for fall.

  2. There was a morning question about losing weight without becoming obsessed with it. The only way I’ve ever been able to do it was when I had a health issue that meant I couldn’t eat wheat. Not gluten, wheat itself was the issue.

    Now I’m better but I should still limit the amount of wheat I eat. I’m thinking of continuing the no-wheat as a diet/weight loss thing. I think it works because it prevents me from eating most snacks, pizza, pastries etc. Idk if this is crazy or not, but it works for my brain. Easiest weight loss ever for me. When the health issue was worse I lost weight just because there were so many restrictions on what I could eat.

    1. I just got diagnosed with arthritis and am contemplating a diet to target chronic inflammation. I know that is going to be my entire personality for a bit.

      1. Honestly it was not as bad as I would have thought! I felt self conscious about ordering adjustments in restaurants, but all those atkins people way back then did us a favor, no one has any issue serving a burger in lettuce instead of on a bun.

        It also helps to reframe as what you can eat. At work breakfasts I can still eat yogurt and fruit. I can still eat rice, potatoes, oats. There is plenty there to work with. Rice and potatoes are also staple foods.

        In my case I would shortly feel the effects if I ate anything I wasn’t supposed to so it was very self-enforcing.

      2. My mom did this (revamped her diet on the theory that she had some dietary arthritis triggers), and it was annoying for a while to her children. But it made such a huge difference for her that we kind of had to reassess our bad attitudes.

    2. I don’t know. My MIL was absolutely thrilled when my sister in law was diagnosed with celiac. Another excuse to demonize food AND police everyone’s eating at family gatherings truly brings her joy. I find that disordered. I seriously suspect it’s the motivation behind a lot of gluten avoidant people. Why not just control your calories without making gluten a problem of it isn’t? I get super annoyed by gluten free people who make exceptions when it suits them but expect us all to make them gluten free food.

      I didn’t comment this morning by life of a GLP-1 is magic for me. I’m effortlessly eating well. I always ate well but often too much and pushing past hunger was a huge part of my life. Ives lost 25 pounds. Now you can see the muscles that hid under 25 pounds of fat because I’ve always strength trained. I LOOK fit enough that no one lectures me on food or wellness, like the horror that is gluten the moral failure that is cheese. When you have an average body you get shamed. When you look noticeably fitter than the shamers they back off. Thats my experience. Not saying anyone else should take it.

      I will avoid talking about my glp-1 usage irl. I will straight up lie and gaslight anyone who asks point blank and whom I don’t think deserves to know. This weight loss has been the ultimate check mate to the wellness police. Especially my mother in law- I can eat whatever I want in front of her now.

      Before you chime in: yes, resident troll, I hear you. You think I look old, ugly, like a cancer patient and you can’t wait for me to get deadly sick as a cosmic comeuppance for what you think is cheating at a game you had managed to win before glp-1s came along. I get that. You do you.

      1. I am diagnosed celiac and absolutely do not cheat because it’s bad for my health and makes me physically miserable. However, I also recognize that the diagnosis does help me not eat delicious treats that I otherwise would. I still wouldn’t wish it on anyone because it is limiting in my ability to dine at some restaurants. So it’s a blessing and a curse.
        Your experience on a GLP is what makes it sound appealing to me. If I lost about 15 pounds, the muscle that I go to the gym consistently to build would be visible and I think I’d then have the physical look that I want. Good for you for getting it and enjoying it.

      3. Celiac is a big deal. It’s not the kind of thing where you would want to rely on food policing for shared meals (vs. certainty). I’m sorry your MIL is being weird about it though.

        There are very few contexts in my life where I would tolerate food shamers these days. It used to be a big thing though so I know it’s hard to just opt out of in some circles. But other times it’s okay to make people regret that they said anything; they started it.

      4. I posted earlier about losing about 90 lbs with 10 hopefully to go on the GLP1…

        And, amen to everything you’ve written right down to avoiding talking about it to anyone who doesn’t deserve it. Amen. Amen. Amen.

        1. I have no dog in this fight, but I think it’s wild that some people are calling for GLP-1 users to “just be honest” about their weight loss. No. Weight is not a neutral topic, and people can be really nasty about it. I am trying to lose weight at the moment, and I do NOT want to discuss it with anyone.

          1. I think it’s mostly one poster who says she can’t help but think it’s cancer when her real problem is that she thinks it’s cheating.

      5. “I always ate well”

        Not everybody is like that and consider for a moment that your strategy won’t work for everybody.

        1. Consider for a moment that I literally went out of my way to say this is my experience and I’m not saying anyone else should take it.

          But you knew that. So why did you write this? Is it JUST to criticize the unnamed people who you think eat like slobs? It kind of supports my point that food shamers are everywhere.

    3. When my A1C reached prediabetes levels, I was similarly motivated to change and stop eating so many sweets and adopt other habits that support better blood sugar. It was hard at first, but my cravings really did decrease over time. Now I go for an evening walk when my family eats dessert, or I just focus on loading the dishwasher or whatever, and it’s no big deal. My eating is still not perfect and ebbs and flows, but I think our relationship to food can shift when you feel like something important is on the line, and it doesn’t have to alter your whole personality if you take it slow and try to make rational small changes.

    4. I’ve been on a very strict diet for medical reasons for the last month and am amazed at my willpower. I have not cheated a single time and it’s been difficult planning meals and outings with all of my restrictions. This is a short term issue and I really hope I can keep a lot of these habits when I get the all clear. I have never been successful on a diet due to willpower but for some reason my brain quickly accepted these changes since it’s health related. Who knows.

      1. Yeah that’s how my brain worked too “It’s more healthy to eat less sugar” didn’t do it but a you absolutely can’t eat XYZ medically did.

  3. Looking for wide-legged, mid-rise navy and/or camel pants for work, ideally not over $100 or so. Somebody posted some from Banana Republic Factory the other day, but those don’t have great reviews. Any suggestions?

    2. OP here – clearly I should have looked through today’s entries before asking my question!

    3. I was the OP looking for pants on that post. I needed some for a conference. I ended up getting high rise wide leg from old Navy that were ok, a little short on me.

  4. This would be so much nicer if it did not have the logo! I am so incredibly tired of having brand names on basically everything, especially when they are gold embossed.

  5. Do any of you have suggested articles or Substacks or resources for things like understanding optimal lab values for women? A lot of what I see out there misses the mark – it’s either full-on MAHA “don’t use sunscreen ever to maximize your vitamin D” or old-school guidance from medical societies that is based on what’s appropriate for men or doesn’t align with what women actually report in their lives (things like “pain control isn’t necessary for IUD insertion.”) Who out there is actually writing about evidence-based, current guidelines for women’s health? For example, returning to vitamin D, my levels are technically “normal” at the low end of my lab’s range, but it’s my understanding that more recent research may be suggesting that the optimal levels for women are much higher.

    1. My younger medical providers are actually pretty on top of this. So that doesn’t help you if yours are not, but it’s nice to know they exist in the world at all these days.

    2. I started seeing a dietician this year, and she was the first medical provider I’ve ever had who walked me through my labs in depth, compared current results to prior ones, looked at changes were it wasn’t actually out of range but a shift from my norm, etc. We do virtual appointments, so you may be able to find one in your area that can fit in easily.

    3. i feel like Mary Claire Haver has a list somewhere of labs to ask for and what levels to look for.

      some lab values are an equation based on other lab values (and sometimes with your age). i had a bad kidney GFR recently but it was because my creatinine was high, i understand my age also was part of the equation. (second lab test where i made sure to hydrate was fine.)

  6. Todays earlier post about what to say when someone says something condescending at work got some push back in the comments. But what do you do/say if someone says “you’re intimidating” or some other obnoxious comment? Ignoring it is not always the way to go. There are definitely people who back down when you stand up to them a bit.

    When it was something inappropriate I have gotten good mileage out of “what a weird thing to say” – curious if others have not found that to work.

    1. Depends on the scenario (is this a boss offering feedback as part of a larger conversation or a junior employee making a faux pas)? For obnoxious sexist comments, I’ve had some luck with “yeah, that’s something a lot of women in the workplace are used to hearing.”

    2. Haha, how about “thank you.” I have no respect for the “what a weird thing to say” or “what an odd comment” contributors.

      If you want to be intimidating, be intimidating. No need to sprinkle in doses of passive aggressiveness.

      1. Different things for different situations. Definitely not the “what an odd comment” for “you’re intimidating”. But I have really heard some
        comments from clients (not a lawyer) that you’d be shocked any human would say out loud.

    3. i kind of liked the script with the response like “thank you, i’ve been working on my executive presence!”

      if it’s said in a 360 review i’d drill down more to understand where it’s coming from

    5. Intense silence, unbroken eye contact until they flinch.

      The “what a weird thing to say” only works if they have a sense of shame. It’s not a power move and I won’t give them the satisfaction of engaging in their game of soft insults.

  7. For those of you who read the Cornell Jane Doe’s statement from 2024, can you explain to me how any of it was illegal? From her own testimony, it doesn’t sound that she was incapacitated or non-consenting. It actually sounded very voluntary. There were also many points at which she said no to kissing or touch, and the guys respected her boundaries. It seems like a huge leap from what actually happened to what is being represented.

    By the same token, the first two guys were dry heaving, vomiting, falling asleep, and she sounded like she was quite a bit more of sound mind than either of them in the beginning.

    I say this as someone with a college experience that was similar, although perhaps more cut and dry (non voluntary consumption and very vocal dissent) that was handled very poorly by our Title 9 office. My fear is that cases that are nuanced, but do not get treated with nuance, can backfire and make it harder for other victims.

    1. Hard cases make bad law, but in this situation, a bad law has made a hard case. What happened was clearly morally wrong and feels like it should have been illegal… but it’s not actually clear to me that it was, according to NY law. I hope that NY is working on changing that law.

      1. But even if they changed the law about voluntary consumption, she still had her mental faculties. The men were equally drunk. It seems like people are saying that anyone who has consumed alcohol cannot consent, but if that were the case, the men would not have been able to consent either.

        1. If the men respected her boundaries, why couldn’t she get up and walk across the room to get her phone, call a friend, or leave?

          1. She could have at any point. If you read her 2024 statement, there was no physical coercion. It isn’t being alleged that there was coercion, but that by virtue of having consumed ketamine, her willingness to be there could not actually have constituted consent.

    2. The idea of “gang rape” sounds very different from what she initially described.

    3. I think part of the problem is that Jane was very out of it, and felt pressured to accommodate the additional participants and almost certainly didn’t realize that there was an open groupchat inviting more people up to the room when she made her initial report. I don’t think she consented to an open cattle call.

      And some of this sounded like she accepted because she was naked in a room with a bunch of frat guys who were all having a good time and she didn’t want it to go badly. But was that apparent to the guys? Should it have been? Did it have to be, legally? This is very, very messy.

      1. She said, “I had become extremely uncomfortable with how this night was turning out so my thought was, if I do Ketamine again maybe I will pass out. My thought was that if I passed out and these men had sex with me, then they could be charged with Rape.” So she went along with things and had her eye on victimhood as some future excuse or defense? What kind of logic is that? I know she wasn’t thinking clearly and was in a very, very bad situation that got way out of hand, but she was also making terrible decisions.

    4. anyone have a link to the actual statement? i can only find coverage of it, not the statement itself.

        2. Oh thanks for sharing this. It seems like the initial threesome was consensual but once male number 4 showed up it turned at the very least predatory. Idk where the legal line is though

  8. I have a day off tomorrow and my plan is to rot on the couch and watch tv (the last few weeks have been tough and have included a family member hospitalization, tons of sickness and a major work project… my brain needs downtime). Any show recommendations? I don’t like reality tv and don’t want something depressing or really dark (a little dark is ok). Thanks!

    2. What kind of shows do you like? Recently I’ve watched and enjoyed: The Other Bennet Sister (about Mary Bennet), Off Campus (Prime – romance based on a book), The Beast in Me (Netflix – dark but campy), Neagley (dark but ridiculous), The Fall and Rise of Reggie Dinkins (Peacock – very 30 Rock but more positive energy), Colin from Accounts (cute Autralian rom com show), Starstruck (HBO – cute British rom com show), Slow Horses (funny-ish British spy show).

    4. Gilmore Girls is always my comfort rewatch especially at this time of year. More recently I really enjoyed Rooster on HBO

    5. If you haven’t seen it, Shogun is really excellent, although it is somewhat on the heavier side – there’s a fair amount of death. It’s very absorbing though – a good distraction.

      1. Counterpoint: I generally have a strong stomach for violence and darkness but Shogun was way too much for me.

    6. I tend to like hopeful/positive/feel good stuff – I agree with StarStruck on HBO – thought it was really ticked all those boxes.
      -I also like Sort Of for those same vibes.
      -Better Things and Acapulco are othersI’ve been enjoying.

    7. Ludwig. It is funny and engaging. The last time I was sick I binged a Korean drama, Marry My Husband. A little dark, but completely mesmerizing.

    8. Widow’s Bay on Apple is both completely hilarious and rather terrifying. Plus, Matthew Rhys.

  9. is there any non-obnoxious way to bring up that my friend’s text messages re logistics almost always fill me with rage? she is completely vague and unclear, will go totally silent in the heart of discussions, and (after total silence) come back with “is this still happening” the day of.

    1. I don’t think she’s likely to change just because you complain, but you may be able to get pushier about what you need to know by when. If you’ve already been super clear about what you want, then she must already know.

    3. Sounds like my cousin, whose default response to planning is “ugh that sounds expensive” and then silence followed by an eventual “but I still want to do the trip” months later.

    5. My group of friends eventually dropped a friend for this. We’d plan, she’d vaguepost or, after not objecting, once we made plans, she’d try to completely revamp them–different day, different trip, different vibe. It was as if she sabotaged ANYTHING. We talked to her about this multiple times, but she really couldn’t help herself.

      She also would not commit, and then we’d finalize reservations, and then she’d be hurt that, despite not answering multiple texts asking for confirmation, we’d make reservations without her, at places where adding one more was not possible.

      The final straw for me was when we planned dinner for 530 at a specific restaurant, she strung me along until nearly 9pm by suggesting other places in completely different neighborhoods, went silent for a few hours, and then was upset at me because I said, I’m sorry, it’s been four hours and I’ve already eaten. Like what in the world?

      I was not sure if it was a pathology or some weird testing of friendship, but I finally decided that I have enough work drama–I don’t want friend drama.

    7. I have one of these friends too. Luckily its a group chat. She evidently can’t be bothered to scroll back to find the info that she refuses to remember, ever. I don’t respond, but someone nicer than me always does. So it continues, ad infinitum.

      2. I fell for this shape one time and never again. It was so impractical, stuff would shift around to one end or the other and then the weight would cause it to dump on the ground. It also felt like I was carrying a sub sandwich in my armpit.

Comments are closed.