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Coffee Break: Avy Tote

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woman wears white/cream outfit with a vertical, mini, mint green crossbody tote

Just as north/south totes are a big trend again, we're seeing mini north/south crossbody totes. (Perhaps mint green is a trend, as well — I feel like I've seen a lot of them this season!)

This mini tote from Black-owned business Ree Projects looks great — I love the subtle tucking details that give it a folded, origami-type feel to the bag.

Shopbop has it in mint for $695; Nordstrom has it in black as well.

Sales of note for 5/14/25:

  • Nordstrom Rack – Looking for a deal on a Dyson hairdryer? The Rack has several refurbished ones for $199-$240 (instead of $400+) — but they're final sale only.
  • Ann Taylor – Suit Yourself! 30% off suiting (ends 5/16) + 25% off your full price purchase (ends 5/18) + extra 60% off sale (ends 5/14)
  • Talbots – 40% off all markdowns (ends 5/18) + 30% off dresses, skirts, accessories, and shoes
  • Nordstrom – Beauty Deals up to 25% off (ends 5/17)
  • Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 25% off
  • Boden – 10% off new women's styles with code + sale up to 50% off
  • Eloquii – Up to 60% off everything + extra 60% off sale + $1 shipping on all orders
  • J.Crew – Up to 50% off long-weekend styles + 50% off select swim and coverups
  • J.Crew Factory – Extra 50% off clearance + extra 15% off $100+ + extra 20% off $125+
  • M.M.LaFleur – Lots of twill suiting on sale! Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off.
  • Rothy's – Up to 50% off last-chance styles
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off

114 Comments

  1. Does anyone have any recommendations for shorts to wear under work dresses (or regular dresses)? On our first 80 degree day in NYC, I wore a work dress + th*ng + no tights, and it just wasn’t pleasant. Thighs rubbing together, I felt kind of jiggly, etc. I’m now getting targeted with ads for thigh society – has anyone tried them or have other recommendations? Mostly looking for smoothing, not compression.

    1. With the caveat that I haven’t tried them, the blogger JoLynn Shane had a recommendation in a recent roundup of popular items purchased that she links to on her blog. I’ll put the link below.

      2. Cosign Jockey slip shorts. I used to live on the east coast, and I wore them under dresses all summer. I had a whole drawer of flesh toned and black ones. They’re the best.

      1. Not OP but I need longer legs than a boy short.

        I use cotton bike shorts under all skirts and dresses unless I’m wearing tights. It’s good for just-in-case modesty too. Which has happened!

    4. I recently ordered more of the Thigh Society 5-inch cooling shorts — I like them, there’s no compression, and they are comfortable in hot weather. They seem to hold up well in laundry. I think the key to making sure they don’t roll up is to follow the size chart and do NOT size up. I was on the cusp of two sizes and went with the smaller size, and they are still very comfortable.

      I’ve also tried Uniqlo Airism ones (not sure which type), but they were compression so overall less comfortable for daily wear.

  2. Soooo my husband reads his phone w hile I read my book at night and then wants to tell me things over and over. I’m like hmmm interesting or wow or something like that, but I honestly don’t want to get in a big convo. I’m trying to read my book! So then he is like wow you’re being short with me etc, which is predictable. Who is right? Is there a solution??

    2. If you’re arguing over who is “right,” you’re already in trouble. No one is right or wrong here: he is “right” for wanting you to respond to his bid for attention, and you are “right” for wanting him to respect that you are focusing on your book.

      That said, I’m on your side; if it’s all that interesting, he can relay it to you at a later point.

    3. There’s no right/wrong here. It’s just that you have different personalities and want different things.

      1. They’re also just doing 2 different tasks! Casual phone scrolling and reading a book are different levels of concentration and immersion.

        OP- sometime during the day just tell him you’d like to get lost in your book before bedtime and ask if you guys can do the hangout time before you open your book.

    4. Of course, you explain all this and very clearly tell him this is your reading time and you want to concentrate on your book and that you are giving him this heads up because you don’t want to seem rude or uninterested, because it’s not that, but just not at this time. (I literally have these conversations with my husband). I think the not being clear but then being short is the problem.

    6. Use your words. No one is right and no one is wrong. Explain that you’re reading your book and don’t want to be interrupted

    7. Years ago, my husband learned that I need quiet time to decompress – think of it as sloth time. The beauty of “sloth time” is it just means that I need time by myself, not ready to talk yet, not mad at you. I suspect your book reading is this. You need to express what you did here – I need time to read, and have trouble focusing with interruptions.

    8. Are you me? Are we married to the same person? I know you don’t want an entire convo, but seriously, sometimes what helps is putting my book down, looking at him and following up on his conversational offering – like if he says “This drumset is only $600!” then I can ask him if he’s serious about getting back into music and what about the drumset we already have. Usually we’ll only chat just for a minute or two but he’ll feel like he has my undivided attention and I think it leads to fewer overall interruptions because we’ve had a more substantial talk. Also if he does it like, five times in a row I will put my book down and stare at him with crazy eyes until he notices and that works too.

      1. Interesting, I seem to be married to this man also! But in all fairness, I do it too. I will read an interesting news article and read him 10 quotes with a 45 second pause in between. ‘Hey I am trying to focus on this thing right now’ is usually enough.

        1. Same, both of us do this and sometimes need to be reminded not to. It’s a side effect of scrolling I guess!

    9. Haha that is my husband too. I sometimes say “I’m reading” and that shuts him up for a while, but I also don’t want to be totally uninterested in him for hours. I give him all sorts of tidbits throughout my day, so I guess if I expect him to listen to me, turnabout is fair play. Price of admission and all that jazz.

    10. For perspective, I’d love if my husband did this. It’s nice that he wants to share something with you. Mine is more at to ignore me.

    11. I have one of these too. The solution is, the first time he factoids you, to put the book, listen, and when he’s done tell him “hon, just to let you know, I’m really deep into this book, so I’m going to have to ask you to make that the last time tonight that you interrupt me to tell me something cool you read.”

      I should say, that’s the solution if your husband is willing to respect that you’re entitled to read a book if you want. If he pouts or still accuses you of being short, then you have on your hands someone who is upset because he feels entitled to your attention whenever he wants, and feels rejected if you aren’t willing to drop whatever you’re doing to respond to him when he demands it. That’s a marriage counselor problem.

    12. You’re both “right” in that you have competing but legit needs. He wants what he thinks is quality time–him sharing something he’s enjoying, and you want quiet wind-down time. FWIW my husband is the king of this–he’ll plop down on my bed 4 seconds before I want to go to sleep (we have separate rooms as he’s a night owl) and try to have “deep conversations” sometimes about fraught subjects! It’s not on purpose, it’s just that I think he sees me relaxed and “not doing anything else” and decides now is the time for some bonding.
      I would maybe say the need outloud “hon, I’m trying to unwind–could you maybe “pin” those and share with me at brunch tomorrow? I’ll be much more focused at that point.” basically give him a time when you WILL gaze adoringly as he reads Tweets (I feel your pain) to you outloud.

  3. is the “unexpected pop of red” a classic thing in interior design or do you think it’s very like March 2024? looking at red mirrors to put in a white and blue powder room

    2. My concern is it will feel gimmicky and too 4th of July, more so than looking dated

        1. OMG that is gorgeous. I think I’d keep the mirrors either neutral or one of the colors from the wallpaper (the darkest blue?), and do my pops of red in accessories.

        3. Oh I love that! Personally I would absolutely take a chance with red mirrors, but I really like a big look.

        1. 100% agree with either gold or matching the metal color of your hardware (towel bar/faucets).

    5. Nooo, don’t do red mirrors. It might not be dated now, but it will be next year.

      Metallics, woods, and neutrals for frames unless you are a colour magician.

      1. That said just saw the wallpaper and I wouldn’t do red with that. But generally a pop of red is classic.

  4. We had a lawyer (solo practice) draw up our will, trusts, advanced directives etc 2 years ago. We recently had our second child and need to add him to all the documents. The original lawyer has ghosted me about updating the documents. I need to just suck it up and hire another lawyer to review/redo them, right?

    1. Do the docs say “children”? If so no update needed, but if your lawyer is ghosting, that is concerning and a reason to find new counsel regardless.

      1. +1. It is often not necessary to re-do estate planning documents if you have another child – your existing docs likely cover him.

    2. Look at how the documents are drafted. Are they drafted to account for future children even though those children are not listed by name. Do they use language such as “all heirs” or “all descendants”? If so, you may not need to update them at all.
      If they do need to be updated and all you want to do is add the name of your second child to each provision where your first child is listed, can you do this yourself? Retype them, assuming they aren’t long, and change every instance of “Jane” to “Jane and John.” And then go to your bank to sign and notarize the new version.
      If these two simple options don’t work, then suck it up and hire another lawyer. Hopefully your additional cost is minimal if you don’t need to change much substantively.

      1. or “per stirpes” is the phrase to look for — that basically includes all future children or future grandchildren if said kids are dead.

    3. Estate planning attorney here- I would advise you find someone new to at least review your current documents and your current estate plan now that you have a new child. It never hurts!

  5. Best place online to buy candied pecans? I tried some from Trader Joe’s and loved them. Unfortunately my local grocery store doesn’t carry them and TJ’s is a several hour drive. Free shipping would be a bonus.

    3. Nuts dot com. Fast shipping — although I don’t think it’s free, great products, super nice to order from.

      1. My mom sent me a gift basket from nuts.com and it was great. I’m low-key obsessed with their salt and pepper pistachios, so if you order pecans from them, would strongly recommend adding a pack of those!

    4. We got a gift box a while ago from my aunt-in-law — I want to say it was from Priester’s Pecans? They’re likely a seasonal item at TJ’s; I know Costco had a winter blend that was similar. (looks like you can get that at Walmart still)

      https://www.walmart.com/ip/Pear-s-Snacks-Winter-Cheer-Nut-Blend-22-Ounce/1738573108?wmlspartner=wlpa&selectedSellerId=101110815&adid=222222222271738573108_101110815_164386674601_21165386524&wl0=&wl1=g&wl2=c&wl3=696045425992&wl4=pla-2294767689985&wl5=9015340&wl6=&wl7=&wl8=&wl9=pla&wl10=513894521&wl11=online&wl12=1738573108_101110815&veh=sem&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjw88yxBhBWEiwA7cm6pX76q6m1GhorKmyS1-kfqKjP0vF1XAHybv4INOKm_hIArT8rVST9eRoCNJMQAvD_BwE

  6. let’s talk condiments — what are the ones that you adore and could not live without? we’re not picky about a lot of ketchup/mustard but we love these ones:
    – Weak Knees Gochujang Sriracha Hot Sauce
    – St. Elmo Steak House Horseradish
    – Herdez guacamole salsa – trust me on this one it’s great!!

    Also I just heard that Walmart’s Southwestern hot honey mustard is similar to McDonald’s so I might have to get some of that, ha.

    1. Sweet Baby Ray’s Honey Chipotle BBQ Sauce
      Sriracha Sauce
      no particular brand: hot honey is delicious on pepperoni pizza
      another where the brand is less important: a course spicy brown mustard is the best

    2. Oh I love spicy honey mustard so I’ll have to check that out.
      Since I tried Lao Gan Ma chili crisp a year ago, I’ve been going through about a jar a week.
      Frank’s Red Hot
      Right now our favorite salsa is Cholula smoky chipotle.

    3. Fun thread! These are always in our house:
      Mike’s Hot Honey
      Cholula (my favorite)
      Zab’s Hot Sauce (my SO’s favorite)
      Sriracha
      Bungkus Bagus Sambal Goreng

    5. Sweet Baby Ray’s BBQ sauce (original pls)
      Mother in Law’s Gochujang (usually garlic)
      Cholula
      Hellman’s Mayo, always and only
      Gulden’s spicy brown mustard, I refuse to buy the terrible bright yellow stuff.
      We have multiple types of mustard for cooking/marinades and sesame oil is my secret weapon in lots of things for umami flavor.

    6. Currently pregnant and this baby is being grown on Frank’s Red Hot sauce. Also love Dijon on grilled cheese.

    7. Oh wow, I have so many:

      Maille dijon mustard
      Kewpie mayo (but the actual Japanese import, not the one made for sale in the US)
      Crystal hot sauce & Cholula
      Momofuku chile crunch
      Tajin
      New York Shuk preserved lemon paste
      Huy Fong sriracha (the OG)
      House of Tsang peanut sauce
      DEA Harissa

    8. I really like Ojai Chef Lemonaise and will go to out of the way grocery stores if they carry it.

      I keep looking for a cheaper alternative to Fly by Jing since that goes quickly around here.

    9. Dijon mustard
      English mustard
      Whole seed, unsweetened mustard
      Soy sauce, dark and light
      Gochujang
      Brown sauce (HP)
      Homemade mayo and aioli
      Tabasco
      Sesame oil
      Real wasabi
      Worcester sauce

    11. Fly By Jing Zhong Sauce. I LOOOOVE this stuff so much. Delicious on generic “east asian” style foods, but also amazing on scrambled eggs w/veggies, or on grilled cheese, or on pretty much anything.

    12. For chili crisp, the winner in head to head taste tests is Kari Kari. It beat out Fly by Jing, Momofuku, and the OG Lao Gan Ma. It was a delicious few weeks when we had so many open jars in the fridge ;-)

  7. I’m unreasonably happy because the teeth-scraping (cleaning) appointment I thought was this afternoon is actually tomorrow. A reprieve!

    Anybody else have any good news to share?

    2. I am totally with you on happy reprieves from dentist appointments!! The last few years I genuinely dread going to the dentist, even though I never have cavities and my dentist is totally fine. I just dislike the process entirely. I won’t let myself reschedule the appointments (barring legit conflicts) because otherwise I’d never go.

      In other good news…the Coke Zero I am drinking right now is really helping the dull headache I’ve had all day and I’m looking forward to an all-of-the things workout tonight: 20 minute low impact cardio + 30 minutes lifting + a yoga class.

    3. A project of mine that has been in “draft” for quite a while finally got the go-ahead from the client to finalize this morning!

      I had a battery of blood tests for the usual things + things I didn’t even now you could test for, and every single value was in range!

  8. Say you want to treat yourself to a nice meal and a nice dessert. What are you getting? Just looking for ideas. Ideally things that aren’t super fancy and are also easy to get – not the best pasta you had back in Rome one time but things that can be ordered locally. I’m in northern Va if it matters. Would love to treat myself to a few enjoyable meals and somehow I can’t think of anything besides finding some good pizza one night which is a whole production in the DC area.

    1. Are you cooking or ordering from a restaurant? What about getting pizza is a “production” that won’t be the same for other restaurant food?

      1. Not OP but as an NJ person living in DC, I’m pretty sure OP means that pizza in this area is generally not great. Meaning if you love pizza and Dominos isn’t going to cut it, there isn’t a good pizza joint in every neighborhood like up north and you can be driving quite a ways to one of the decent places.

        1. Ah. I forget how opinionated people are about pizza. I’m in Atlanta, and while we do have great pizza spots, I don’t really care about it. But no one should settle for Domino’s!

      2. DC pizza isn’t good.

        Duccinis is the best in the area, but it’s still DC pizza

    2. Indian food for me is a treat, since I don’t/can’t make it myself. Same thing with tamales or empanadas — reasonably easy to find but stuff I just don’t make myself. Or what about sushi?

    3. If you are looking to go to a restaurant, I had the best meal of the past few years at Reveler’s Hour in Adams Morgan. The food, the service, the room – everything about it was wonderful.

      For takeout, well, I’m a little obsessed with poki bowls.

      1. Seconding Reveler’s Hour, also for italian The Red Hen in Bloomingdale. If I’m feeling like really splurging and am by myself, sitting at the bar at The Dabney.

        1. +1 go to red hen and sit at the bar.
          Once you’ve had a nice meal, I would walk north to check out Crispus Attucks Park. Excellent people watching and generally serene.

    4. Sushi + gyoza

      Acai bowls (if there’s a place around that does it well)

      Great Chinese food is so good.

      Nice desserts are harder, it seems like I’m more often than not disappointed in restaraunt desserts since I really hate a cold piece of cake (like I get you’re not a dessert place, just don’t put it on the menu if you’re giving me something frozen). But if there’s a hot lava cake + whip and ice cream on the menu I am definitely getting that. Really good cheesecake is delicious but I don’t like it enough to eat mediocre cheesecake, so I read reviews to know if it’s worth it.

      DH would add for him – Mexican food – steak quesadillas, steak chimichangas. And then ice cream from Baskin Robbins or cold stone.

    5. Indian food – Paneer with peas, any vegetable with potatoes, or chickpeas. All with white rice
      Thai – drunken noodles
      NYC pizza
      Eggplant parm
      Apple pie from a pie place
      A good donut – as in not Dunkin but a bakery
      Cookie cake
      Cookies from Levain

      None of these are fancy but all things I enjoy only occasionally as my daily eating tends to be more simple foods, vegetables.

    6. Chinese takeout- order multiple items for variety and freeze the leftovers. There’s something so fun about having a big spread in front of you. If you want to dine out then sushi. Get a combination of rolls and nigiri along with appetizers. Delicious and filling but you don’t fall into a food coma.

    7. I’m confused about what you’re asking for here (restaurant recommendations? General categories of food? Specific dishes?) but there’s an Italian restaurant near me that has the best lasagna. That’s my go-to “I want a cozy, yummy dinner and a good glass of wine” spot. I always get the lasagna, a couple glasses of red wine and their chocolate tart for dessert.

      There’s also a sports bar-ish place by me that has a really solid, consistently good cheeseburger that I can order on Uber Eats so I do that every so often when I’m craving a good burger.

    9. Also in NOVA. My go-tos for step-up takeout are Chiko, Stellina Pizzeria (cacio e pepe!), Cheesetique (lobster Mac + chocolate mousse), Emmy Squared or Bozzelli’s for pizza. TNR is great Chinese, although not fancy. And Padaek for Thai.

    10. I may sound boring but I always love whatever salad the restaurant orders that has steak strips on it. It usually has things like onion strings in it or bleu cheese + tomatoes and cucumbers, and all of those things, plus a creamy dressing are my favorite!

      Dessert has to be affogato. Divine.

    11. I like to get something that I cannot make at home without a major investment in time, skill, equipment or ingredients.

      Sushi
      Perfect fish and chips made in beef dripping
      A fantastic salad with loads of variety and elements I cannot be bothered to put together
      Ramen noodles with an amazing broth
      Bibimbap in a stone bowl
      Pre-ordered Peking duck in pancaces

    13. Sushi, expensive seafood like crab or lobster, filet mignon with a rich sauce, ribs and French fries, or the best bacon cheeseburger around with French fries. Also maybe some burratta with delicious bread and tomatoes and wine!

    15. Two DC area recs:

      Stracci for pizza (in Del Ray, closest we’ve had to Northern Italy stateside)
      Bombay Club for a Thali (sampler) plate of mind-blowing Indian food.

  9. Looking for some casual spring/summer weight blazers that might be available in your standard mall brick and mortar stores. I have an impromptu in person meeting coming up in 2 weeks. We are all wfh with rare in person meetings. I have some nice fall wool plaid and sweater blazers but need a comparable spring weight one I could wear with jeans and a tshirt/simple blouse. Mid level manager and I prefer at least 1 polished finisher piece like a blazer for these meetings.
    SEUS so it will be more like summer sooner than later

    1. What’s your budget? I’m a blazer lover and have a few suggestions.
      1) Majestic Filatures Women’s Soft Touch Two Button Blazer. I own and love this, but it is a very casual blazer. I bought it in store a few years ago but it is also on Amazon.
      2) Iro blazer, tweedy Chanel style. These are pricey (~$500) but magic. They make jeans and a tshirt look polished.
      3) TWP Patti ruffle front blouse (worn as a jacket), also ~$400. This is a single layer of cotton (since it’s marketed as a blouse) but looks great as a jacket. It’s similarly magic in transforming casual outfits.

  10. What are your thoughts on suits these days? I am C-suite in nonprofit and we have such a mix in our industry of business casual/formal. I personally love a suit for me because I find them to be easy to wear and pulled together. Of course, I know it’s not appropriate in every setting, but any given day I am running around to different professional events and meeting with others at senior leadership levels. Are there any negatives in your view of wearing a suit when not many others in the room are? I just purchased 2 of the linen suits from Jcrew and I love them and they fit great, but post Covid I am questioning if I need to downgrade my work wardrobe. My peers are all over the place in their wardrobe, some are very fashionable in designer clothes, some are basic businesses casual, but not everyone is networking at the rate that my role requires.

    1. I always feel like separates rather than a matching suit projects more of an executive presence. A non-matching blazer and pants + some sort of interesting blouse, usually silk.

      1. I am an Old. I accept that this is how it is now, but I sure do have trouble wrapping my head around it. The hierarchy of suiting has flip flopped.

    2. I rarely see a lot of suits these days among the CEOs and CFOs I interact with. Even folks speaking on panels at my industry’s events are far more casual than they used to be (financial execs, so not a creative industry). I would do as separates instead. Definitely separates if you’re interacting with NFPs, since coming across too showy isn’t good. If you’re the only one in the room wearing a suit, I don’t think that’s usually a good thing (and I came from an era of “dress for the job you want, not the job you have”).

    3. The standard wool blue or black suit is only for the most serious events. Generally, I still see plenty of “interesting” suits – different colors, some sort of detail being worn by women at higher levels. For example, last year, Theory had an all navy seersucker suit that was perfect for the more causal environment. General rule of thumb for “suits” is can you wear the jacket with a pair of jeans (blue, black or white) without it look like a suit jacket (instead of blazer) – then its achieving the right more causal suit look.

      1. Thank you! These tips are so helpful! I’m going to use that “test” to see if I should keep the new blazers. They are the jcrew Helena linen blazers in flax and peri.

    4. Also c suite and I wear everything including suits. I won’t dress down just because other people might. If you feel and look good, wear the suit.

    5. As one gets a bit older (over 50 I’d say) matching suits could give off a “mothball” vibe or “mother of the bride” meaning stuffy, or mumsy/matronly, especially if fresh-faced 25 year olds are out there in floaty dresses and Sambas or 90s Redux “Office Siren” looks.
      However, I think the solution is “fun suits”–interesting colors, interesting shapes, textures, obvious true vintage if that’s your thing, and so on.

  11. Opinions on Albion Fit swimwear? If it matters: need a soft cup bra, have generous stomach and thighs and bottom.

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