Frugal Friday’s Workwear Report: Short-Sleeve Poplin Top

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A woman wearing a white blouse and gold necklace and earrings

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

I have a white poplin top in my closet that's very similar to this one, and it’s consistently one of my most-worn spring/summer items.

(Did I buy two because I’m a spiller and I know that about myself? Yes, I did.)

My favorite way to wear it is with a comfy pair of linen pants on the weekends, but for the office, I’ve been pairing it with wide-leg cropped pants for these early spring days. 

The top is $47.50 at J.Crew Factory and comes in sizes XXS–3X. It also comes in three other patterns. 

Sales of note for 2/7/25:

  • Nordstrom – Winter Sale, up to 60% off! 7850 new markdowns for women
  • Ann Taylor – Extra 25% off your $175+ purchase — and $30 of full-price pants and denim
  • Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 15% off
  • Boden – 15% off new season styles
  • Eloquii – 60% off 100s of styles
  • J.Crew – Extra 50% off all sale styles
  • J.Crew Factory – 40% off everything including new arrivals + extra 20% off $125+
  • Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 40% off last-chance styles
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – 40% off one item + free shipping on $150+

277 Comments

  1. Another week done. A significant boy’s toy went away this week (in theory to be sold to pay for rehab, but who knows). It wasn’t something I liked particularly, but it encapsulated the hope and the impossibility of everything. Once it had been taken away I sat in my car and screamed at the universe.
    I feel fairly even keeled most of the time, but then something catches me unawares like E Mails from a hotel we used to stay in, and I am overwhelmed by the finality of it all, and I am still anxious about how he is and how he is feeling. I’m practicing mindfulness and imagery of putting those thoughts in a box, but it is hard going, and I’ve always struggled with the concept of meditation.
    I am someone who does better when busy, but I can also get overwhelmed and then I stagnate in an out of control to do list. And everything feels out of control at the moment other than the mundane, like tidying and washing, which I can do.
    My focus is completely shot, and decision making is terrible, even over something small like buying new garden furniture, which I want to do so I can enjoy my garden this summer. I keep putting things in the shopping cart, and then hesitating, and deleting.
    Any suggestions and advice will be very gratefully received. x

    1. Sorry – forgot the TLDR (told you my focus was shot). Divorcing abusive alcoholic husband.

    2. You’re being so brave and you’re doing the right thing, even though it’s hard. I won’t pretend to be able to give you advice on what you’re going through, but one small thing…sometimes my mind and body aren’t quiet enough for meditation to feel like a fit. People can say that sitting with that discomfort is the point all they want, but sometimes it just doesn’t work for me. On those days, replacing sitting with even the gentlest slowest most restorative yin-type yoga practice gives me just enough of an external channel for all of that internal chaos, and lets me have a meaningful and not-so-painful mindfulness practice. You could also consider walking meditation.

      Also: please go ahead and buy the last garden furniture you had in your online shopping cart. It will be fine and it will help you enjoy a restful, restorative summer in your garden. If you don’t like it after a year, you can replace it this time next spring.

      1. This, but also try something like mountain biking, surfing, or horses for meditation. Rock climbing is another good option. I’ve had much more success with activities that require you to focus or you’ll fall on your face. They’re so much more effective for me. Best of luck to you.

        1. Also, if you did ballet as a kid/teen, consider taking an adult ballet class. There is something incredibly meditative about you and the barre.

          1. This!!! I always say it’s because ballet requires so much focus that it’s impossible to think about anything but what you’re doing. Also lovely piano music.

        2. I love lap swimming as a meditative workout. I chant my lap count over and over. Or let my mind wander. Either way, the combination of no external noise plus activity is just wonderful.

        3. Golf. Guess who’s face is on that ball! Honestly golf is great. If it’s accessible near you consider some cheap group lessons. I’ve made so many women friends through golf, and it’s a wonderful way to spend 2 – 4 hour outdoors, in a social atmosphere where phones aren’t welcomed, doing something physical (it’s a reasonable workout if you walk the course), and improving my game is very satisfying.

      2. I agree with all of this. OP, you’re going through a lot. No wonder your concentration is shot! I also do not find meditation to be helpful in these situations; it’s gotta be accompanied by movement that gets the stress out of my body. Go on a walk, do yoga, hop on a spin bike. Whatever floats your boat.

        I hope you find a great garden set, OP, so you can enjoy yourself. It doesn’t have to be perfect. Good enough is FINE right now.

        You are so strong, and I’m wishing you peace and healing.

    3. Any friend or family member who might want to go along with you garden furniture shopping in person? Even if it’s just a trip to IKEA or a thrift store.

      Alternatively on a nice day, don’t hesitate to grab an inside chair or two and take it outside. You can always take it back in at the end of the day!

        1. Trust me, that sort of gardening is very far from my mind at the moment!

    4. I learned on this site about maximisers and satisficers (the first ones want to find the best possible choice, the latter just want to hit a number of criteria and call it a day) and as a maximiser, it has really helped me understand what happens with my decision making process. Can you give yourself permission to become a satisficer for this stage of your life? You do not need to buy the perfect garden furniture, you are allowed to pick the first ones you see within your budget which can be delivered to your house or whatever.
      Another thing I have learned the hard way, but has stuck with me and helped me through many a tough time, is the following (I think it’s from Captain Awkward at least partially): closure isn’t something other people give you – it’s something that you decide to give yourself.
      How much more energy are you going to pour into a lost cause?
      Decide for yourself “This is over, because I say that it’s over.” When thoughts & feelings about him come up, think them, feel them, and then put them aside. Distract yourself. For example, “I miss X. But I can’t do anything about that now. Right now I have to make dinner and then I will read a book.”
      Accept it, grieve for what you lost, and be good to yourself. Be good to yourself the way this person is not equipped or willing to be good to you. That distraction & deciding not to think about something is really hard do to, but if you do it long enough it becomes a habit and then time does the rest of its work and you heal.
      You will get closure, because you will create it for yourself by making a decision to stop chasing someone who doesn’t really want to be involved with you and who can’t be counted on. Years down the road your former partner/lover/friend will be a passing blip in your thoughts.

      1. Not OP, but wow, I didn’t know how much I needed to hear this. Signed, a maximizer whose favorite hobby is chasing closure and is just exhausted.

      2. I hadn’t heard the terminology, but you just made me realize that one of my besties as a maximizer. Going shopping with her for anything is exhausting. I just don’t go shopping with her anymore.

    5. If you are still tidying and washing, you’re doing great! Don’t put extra pressure on yourself for optional tasks that you don’t have to do unless you want to do them.

      That said, if you want to buy garden furniture, I would stop trying to shop online and switch to in person shopping. Going to Lowe’s is so much easier than sorting through endless options for patio furniture. You go, you sit in all the chairs, you figure out which one is your match (like Goldilocks) and then you are done! Internet browsing makes bad attention spans worse and is terrible for making us think that some better option is out there if we just look a little harder.

      1. Ugh, you are so right about online shopping. Sometimes it’s just too much and just leads to more decision fatigue!

      2. +1

        I am a big fan of the plastic Adirondack chairs my local hardware store stocks every spring. They stack for storage, are cheap enough that I don’t feel obligated to research every possible option before committing to the purchase, and sturdy enough that they last several years of being lugged around the back yard. The hardware store usually has a selection of matching side tables or footrests and I can outfit my whole porch and back yard for ~$200.

    6. Walking, at a measured and regular pace,not too fast, every single day for half an hour helped me.

    7. You’ve got great advice above (especially “satisficer for a day!”), so I will just give you a big hug and a high five for being so awesome!

    8. It’s not a top but just some hugs from someone who has been there. You are on the road to the rest of your life right now. The road is bumpy and hard to drive and you don’t have a map, but you can keep going because you must. You will get to your destination, I promise, and it will be so so so much better than today.

    9. Thank you all, I love this site and the advice, it is both practical and emotional, which is the best combination. I fine this so helpful xxx

  2. I’m looking for a substantial tote bag that is cute and casual. It will be used primarily for overnight hospital stays. I’m looking at the LLBean canvas totes, but not totally sold and I want to see more options. Features needed – over the shoulder handles, flat bottom, zipper closure, and stands up on its own. Budget is $100 but I’m open to spending less.

    1. Sézane has a nice quilted tote each season like this. It sparks joy. Bean duffels are great for this IMO. The canvas ones with zippers and longer handles to me aren’t big enough and I prefer the long handles. There is a Summersalt collar now that has a cute tote.

    2. Did you check out the Bean nylon tote? I have both their canvas and nylon totes, and for hospital stays, I would opt for the nylon, since it can be easily and quickly washed and dried. (I machine-wash the canvas ones, too, but they just take a bit longer to dry.)

    3. The LL Bean totes tick all those boxes. It stands up if there’s stuff in it. I really like mine.

      1. Another vote for LL Bean, they’re the classic for a reason. That said, the Land’s End ones are also very nice and ususally on sale.

    4. IKEA has zip bags with good straps. For a hospital, I like something I can wipe clean.

    5. Have you seen Calpak quilted overnight bags? I love mine and bought them for my mom, aunt, and daughters!

      1. Thanks for this! I ended up getting their puffer tote bag! And bonus – my mom actually ordered it for me! Thanks so much!

    6. CapHillStyle had a post yesterday about beach bags, including one from Target that people in the comments said is good. Check that?
      Depending on the reason for the hospital stays, would a backpack work better?
      I hope you or your loved one received excellent treatment and recover well.

    7. Lo and Sons Cataline Deluxe Tote? It’s over your budget a bit, but I know they run sales sometimes., but I’ve been using one as a gym bag for a year now and really like it.

      1. Check out poshmark and thredup for these. I’ve seen the previous model go for <$50

    8. I own many a tote bag, and the one from LL Bean is the only one that actually stands up. Get the longer handles if you want to wear it over your shoulders.

    9. I keep putting the large/jumbo bag from Maika in my bag but haven’t pulled the trigger to buy it. It looks like it would be the perfect overnight bag.

  3. Does anyone know how the Frontgate wicker furniture (“Isolde”) stands up to giant dogs? I want something I can hose off — cushions get wet and full of pollen in the SEUS and we seem to need to replace annually.

    1. I’d choose something sturdier. My parents have that set and the crossbar (not sure if that’s the right term but whatever) cracked with normal use with no pets.

  4. I have some frivolous money to spend and my bday is soon. All the fun moms are wearing aviator nation sweats to the gym and I’m thinking about getting some. How does the sizing run? I’m usually a 10. Do I go XL? L?

    1. Oh hey I’m wearing my Aviator Nation hoodie right now. I am a 6/8 and have a medium. I would go for a L. I purchased mine on like, day 3 of the pandemic, wore it practically every day for two years, and still wear it frequently. I’ve been really happy with the quality. Not mind-blowing, but it’s still in very good shape and doesn’t have much pilling or signs of wear despite me being really hard on it for years.

    2. The website is 20% off this weekend. They run sales every month or so. I would get an L. It’s a great frivolous purchase!

  5. I love a poplin top and considered this one from JCF, but I know in my heart of hearts that I’m not going to iron. :(

    1. Hang it in the bathroom while you take your shower and the room gets steamy, Once you get out, just smooth it out and let it cool. Any wrinkles will fall right out.

      1. I feel like that works fine for blouses in softer materials, but not poplin. It needs a crisp finish that only ironing can achieve.

        1. I have a floor model Jiffy steamer. The shower can’t compete with it. It gets every wrinkle out.

    2. I have last year’s version and really love it … when it’s ironed or steamed. Which I often put off until the last minute. Know thyself!

    3. My dirty little secret is I send mine to the cleaners to be washed and pressed.

  6. I might repost during the week, but wanted to share and am looking for any advice any of you have about something I’m dealing with.

    Backstory: Grew up in a complex family environment with economic privilege but pretty severe emotional, verbal and at times physical abuse and domestic violence. Lots of shame and self-hatred which I tried to manage, especially in middle school, buy trying to buy the right clothing to feel “normal.” My mother would also offer emotional connection primarily by going shopping or offering to buy me things.

    Present: I have a ton of shame about this, to the degree that I haven’t been able to tell any therapists about it. It goes against my beliefs about consumption, respect for the planet, etc. but for years now I’ve been coping with anxiety and lingering shame by compulsively buying clothing, most of which I end up giving away. It’s left me deep in credit card debt and I hate the constant packages arriving at my door. I finally spoke to my partner about how embarrassed I feel about it and how I recognize where it comes from (i.e., an unhealthy coping mechanism.) I’d meet the diagnostic criteria for PTSD, anxiety/depression and ADHD w/ OCD features but believe it or not am somehow high-functioning/attended graduate school/have a career so outwardly present as “together.”

    How to really shift this? I’ve given my partner physical credit cards and am trying to erase saved payment info. I’m trying to meet that “urge” to shop by visiting the library daily to see what new books are in-stock or popping into Goodwill when I can. Thanks for any input you can offer.

    1. I put a lot of stuff in my cart but after a day or so, I have no real urge to pull the trigger. I also look for similar items on Posh, get exhausted and frustrated by not being able to try things on or return easily, and also just run out of steam. Hugs. I think you’re not alone — a lot of the Tuckernuck BST group offerings to me think that many people shop in excess to cope and it’s just another med that isn’t working well for you and you need and want to cope otherwise, which is a boat a lot of people are in more generally (currently on year 8 of trying to find an ADHD med that works for an AuDHD kiddo).

      1. I had progress with this problem by only allowing myself to shop in store. We have plenty of great places to shop near me, so that means it isn’t a total ban, but it means 1. I have to make an effort to shop and 2. I am wayyy less likely to have to make returns. I also like supporting in-person retail and the jobs that come with it.

    2. Understand where you’re coming from. I didn’t have credit card debt and didn’t have the emotional trauma attached but I went through a phase of shopping WAY too much.

      Now when I am tempted to shop (which I still do, but much less), I think about a similar item I already have in my closet that I absolutely love, and ask myself, Would I want to wear potential new thing more than I would beloved thing? Assuming the beloved thing is still in good shape. That helps a bit.

      I also am tired of dealing with returns, and finding space for everything (not a hoarder, just have a full closet!). That sometimes helps with reigning in the shopping, the though of dealing with returns and space issues.

      I have taken up crochet, which has its own over-consumption dangers, but if my hands are busy with that, I’m not online shopping. I also try to have books ready to read, that helps somewhat.

      And, try not to beat yourself up too much. Everyone has their thing they do to cope with stress. You’ve recognized what your thing is, and I think being aware of it is helpful.

    3. Cognitive behavioral therapy can really help with compulsive behaviors, and is often effective quite quickly – you don’t have to work through all your childhood trauma in order to start interrupting the cycle. I’m skeptical of most online therapy but CBT by its nature is a bit easier to offer online, if in-person therapy isn’t an option.

    4. Do you have sufficient help with the PTSD, anxiety/depression and ADHD w/OCD features? “Help,” meaning . . . therapy, medication, and specific practices to use, and specific habits to begin developing?

    5. Sounds like it is time for a therapist, and possibly a psychiatrist. Do you have one?

      I am proud of you for having the insight you have. I have similarities to you, although my coping mechanism is food. Recently I started seeing a psychiatrist.

      You have to get to the root of it, and treat that. Or else you will just shift your compulsive urges to some other coping mechanism.

    6. I have no idea if this is helpful, but once the packages arrive, can they be returned?

    7. I feel so bad for you and I recognize and understand your pain. I can absolutely identify with buying things to make me feel OK. For me, it feels like lessening my feeling of never fitting in or looking right. Having the “right” jeans or bag or having a perfect manicure makes me feel like there are fewer things that someone could criticize about me and lets me ruminate on fewer perceived deficiencies.

      I am working on this by trying to stay off my phone more. I go to yoga and Pilates classes to force myself to do something where I can’t browse and shop. I am trying to train myself to go longer without that dopamine hit. Yet here I am on a site that tells me about more things to buy.

      I see you, you’re not alone, and you are not a bad person.

      1. Oh hi, I am the same way. I’m working on it, and it’s surprisingly painful at times. I can trace it back to always feeling like an outsider in my small town growing up. It feels like I should be over that by now. It’s exhausting to always be fixing yourself in this way.

        1. Hi this is me too, including feeling like an outsider in my small town growing up. I feel like I never have the “right” things, and that somehow owning the “right” things will make people like me. Yes, I’m in therapy. But I was also shopping for a little ~treat~ about five minutes ago, hah.

    8. A big hug from Chapter 13. When I sought therapy, I found a therapist who had “shopping addiction” on her website, along with anxiety, depression, and ADHD treatment (all things I suffer from). If interested, her name is Jessica Dell and she is licensed and offers online therapy outside of her state (I am not in the same state has her). I also sent her an email detailing everything I was struggling with, that way I didn’t have to actually say it out loud. She knew going in what I needed help with and it was all out in the open.

      Here’s something I learned in therapy with her – all the negative self talk and shame and feeling bad about my situation was putting me in a wicked spiral. I’d feel awful about myself because I kept putting myself down with negative self talk, and in turn, would seek out an activity that made me feel better (spending). Working on the negative self talk has been a huge eye opener into healing from my spending habits.

      Real talk, you need to cut up the credit cards. Remove access. Delete credit cards from all store accounts in which they are saved. Delete them from Apple Pay/Google Pay/any instant pay like Venmo or PayPal. Unsubscribe from store emails about sales and clothing.

      Next, go through your closet. Put together a go-to wardrobe for work. Wash what needs to be washed and iron/steam what is wrinkled. Remove all items that don’t fit or aren’t worn and donate them to something like Dress for Success or your preferred charity. Put together outfits for work that are easy to pick from and make you feel put together. Doing this exercise will eliminate feeling overwhelmed and (hopefully) eliminate the need to impulse buy because you’ll already know what you have.

      Big hugs to you. Please feel free to check in with us. I have found this board to be a great outlet.

      1. Off topic for this post, but this is such great advice, and you’ve come so far, Chapter 13!

      2. This is really good advice. At times I have had so many clothes it is easier to just go buy new outfits, particularly for trips or Big Meetings.

    9. Telling your partner about this is a huge step and I’m glad you did it!

      I hope you can find a therapist you feel safe discussing this with. When I’m feeling similar, I try to remind myself that I can’t be the worst thing they’ve ever seen/heard – and if I am, then I’m helping them grow as a provider!

      Hang in there and come back with updates – we’re rooting for you!

    10. Tell your therapist! “I’m struggling with shopping addiction to the point that I dread packages arriving and am deep in debt. I think this is linked to my childhood trauma. Can we spend some time focusing on this.”

      It’s truly truly not a bizarre of unusual situation.

      1. Or even, tell your therapist that you’re feeling too ashamed or anxious to be totally honest with them. You can start there.

    11. When you start browsing, ask yourself what you’re trying to get out of it. Sit with the feelings as you examine them.

      Are you trying to feel normal? Why don’t you feel normal? Are you mimicking your childhood? Is there a particular emotional hole at the moment?

      Then ask yourself what else would help fill that hole. Call a friend. Snuggle a pet. Lean on your husband.

      Get therapy specific to PTSD.

      FWIW, also a high achieving, child abuse survivor here, wealthy family. It sucks because… it’s like being born on third base but nearly unable to walk, let alone run.

    12. You’re definitely not alone. In addition to the therapy and behavior suggestions others have made, I suggest filling your time with other things that are physically away from the computer. This would be a good time to begin a hiking hobby (or long walks, bike rides, whatever interests you) so you get positive benefits (such as endorphins, appreciation of nature) that aren’t connected to your devices. You’ll see that you can get those positive feelings with beneficial activities too.

    13. What you describe sounds more like C-PTSD. I’d look into that. But truly the answer is to be honest with your therapist, even if you have to start with baby steps. Maybe you don’t launch into the shopping addiction right away, maybe you start with ‘over the past few weeks I’ve been feeling X, and I’ve noticed that I’ve been coping by shopping/buying clothes. I think this is a coping mechanism because my mom used to buy me things when I felt bad, usually because of something she had said. I want to find a way to separate those old emotions from my purchasing habits today’. FWIW I don’t think you are alone, I’ve noticed I have coped with body dysmorphia by buying new clothes. Spoiler alert, I still have the same body. No shame in seeing and working on your habits.

    14. I have a similar story; blue collar background in a white collar world, shopping a lot to feel like I have the clothes that will make me fit in. It helps me to make a list of what I actually need and only shop from it. That meant organizing what I already have and putting together a No Buy list of where I am fully stocked. I also don’t buy immediately, I instead flag things on ShopStyle and then wait to get price drop notices. Most of the time, by the time I get the notice I don’t want the piece any more, but if it is on my list of what I actually need then I will pull the trigger. It also helps to fill your short bits of screen time with something else; free Duolingo and taking pictures and then deleting most of them have been good distractions.

      1. Oh I feel this so hard. Add to that a large family filled with hand me downs living in an affluent area. It was rough.
        What I have learned (over forever with lots of help) is that it is an inside job. When I got okay with me, the thoughts in my head dissipated to a large degree. It helped immensely to move out of the area that reinforced the “keeping up with the joneses” sense.
        I will attest to the fact that under stress in new situations with people who seem affluent, the feeling of “not fitting in” still comes back to bite, now there are no teeth marks!

        PS I love the No Buy list. Keeping that!

    15. Wow, can I relate. I feel for you, honestly.

      To me, it’s not a one and done. It’s a journey, akin to getting sober.

      I do periodic no-buys and those help reset my relationship with shopping. I also try to engage with clothing, and style in ways that don’t involve shopping–cataloging clothing really scratches an itch that’s close to the “shopping” category (meaning photographing and putting into apps, finding and pinning stock pics on Pinterest, making little capsule collages, etc), watch YT content, sorting and decluttering, trying on outfits, participating in online forums about fashion (especially giving advice!).

      Giving advice is the next step past shopping to me–I really like to pass along the positive side of being an over-shopper. I know brands, I know quality, I know construction, I know a LOT about clothing! I can share this knowledge. I’m actually the m*d on a R*ddit forum for over-35 fashionistas and that fills a need for connection through clothing.

      I also went to a financial advisor and that was really helpful in getting to some psychological roots of some core reasons why I felt certain ways, and some helpful coping mechanisms.

    16. I was diagnosed with ADHD and depression while a top Ivy League student who also went on to grad school and has a great career. No one is immune to health struggles of any kind. Once I got ADHD meds and therapy, everything was so much easier. I didn’t feel like I was fighting a constant uphill battle. I encourage you to talk to your PCP for referrals. They can also prescribe some meds too.

  7. Tell me more about Iro jackets. How does that brand run and how would it work for a short pear (40” hips). I don’t think it is sold in my city. Boss jackets were always nipped in where my hips are, so its narrower part was approaching my widest part. Sizing up didn’t help — too baggy up top.

    1. I have both the Shavani, and some more cropped, more sweatery type jackets. I find all to run fairly true to size, but I am fairly straight from the waist down, so if you are looking at something longer, my advice may not hold. I have gotten all of my Iro on Poshmark.

    2. True to designer size generally. The softer unlined jackets are generally a bit more forgiving in sizing. I work out a good amount so I find the structured jackets to be a bit tight on the arms. Stalk them though, they will typically go on sale but don’t go down past the 40% off mark (so if its there, buy it before I goes final sale).

    3. The only Iro jacket I own is a leather jacket. I bought it at 20 (spent basically my entire first paycheck from my summer job). I’m 34 and wear it a lot and it’s still growing strong. True to designer size, in doubt sign up.

  8. How clean should I be leaving my condo after selling it and moving out? Our cleaners will come after we move out and clean the bathrooms, kitchen, vacuum etc. Do I need to deep clean the fridge, oven and inside cabinets? Want to do the right thing but not go overboard unnecessarily…

    Of note, we’re moving into a new house and I already planned to hire a cleaning company to deep clean it – so I don’t expect our sellers to deep clean to this extent.

    1. Personally, I would do a decent oven/fridge/cabinets/bathroom clean. As a buyer, I would find it gross and it would put a damper on my enthusiasm for my new home, so as a seller, I would step up and do a good job. And have done so several times.

    2. I would pay for the cleaners to do a deep clean. We have always done it ourselves and ended up exhausted and never had the courtesy returned to us.

    3. I recently moved. I did a normal clean before leaving our old place and our seller clearly did the same. I hired someone to deep clean the new place before we moved in and while it was empty. I think this is the way to go. I would not change your plan.

      1. I think this is standard. Once my realtor paid for a deep clean of the house she helped me buy as a closing gift, and that was awesome.

    4. I personally broom clean – not a deep clean, but respectable that I would not be embarrassed by anything I missed. My theory is that if the new residents are slobs they will not notice or appreciate any further effort, and if they are scrupulous about cleanliness they will want to deep clean themselves (or hire it done). I fall into the latter camp and feel like I can’t trust a spotless-looking house unless I oversaw the cleaning of it myself.

      1. This is where I fall. And what leases if not RE contracts require where I live. Ready for someone’s deep cleaners or painters or floor refinishers.

    5. Very timely as I just went through this last month. The place I moved into was so gross, from dog hair to moving dirt and I was very annoyed and it soured my love for the new house. I told the realtor that it should be required to have a professional clean when you sell your home. I did get a professional deep clean done, which helped, but I am still deep cleaning a lot of things myself.

      For the house I sold, I had my cleaners do a clean as well.

    6. Yes, those things should be clean, but you shouldn’t do it yourself. If you’re already hiring cleaners, pay them a few bucks more and have them do it.

    7. We moved into a house that was perfectly spotless (including yard, porch, deck) and it was such a wonderful feeling. Get the deep clean, it’s good karma!

    8. It’s just expected that you broom clean. I’d only clean those things if they were truly dirty.

    9. I would deep clean fridge, oven and freezer whether it’s necessary or not.

      In the same way a less than spotless toilet will give people the icks, a dirty fridge will. It will give people a bad impression and an incentive to look for overlooked areas and find fault, instead of feeling ready to move in their stuff.

      1. When we bought our condo there was cat hair in the freezer. Please don’t be those people.

    10. I would expect the new buyer to hire cleaners for a deep clean. I’ve been instructed to leave a unit “broom swept”, but nothing more.

      1. +1 I’m surprised at how many people are suggesting that the OP have a deep clean done. It’s basically a $400 gift to the new owners, who presumably bought the condo with a ‘broom clean’ clause. It’s a commercial transaction and what you owe the new owners is spelled out in the contract.

  9. What would you wear to spectate at the US Open? We’ll be near Pinehurst for a wedding and my husband wants to check it off his bucket list while we’re in the area. I don’t golf and I’m 99% sure I need something new. I’m thinking a tennis dress might work, but is that too informal? I don’t want to buy something I won’t use again, and I’m not a skort or golf-appropriate athletics short girl.

    My birthday is coming up and if I’m letting my husband drag me to a golf tournament, he can dang well make sure I look appropriate ;)

    1. I’d probably wear cropped linen pants, a dressy-ish top suitable for the weather (pretty shell etc) and comfortable shoes. Dealing with a skirt when tromping around a golf course, possibly sitting on the ground or climbing bleachers, etc. doesn’t sound fun.

      1. I was thinking tennis dress because of the wicking fabric and built-in shorts, but I could do a linen pant instead. It wouldn’t even occur to me to wear a shell–I assume I’m going to be sweating my face off so was erring toward technical fabrics. I’m sure I could find something presentable, though.

        1. YMMV but the lightweight cotton shells I wear as layers to work are the same ones I travel with for days touring in warm destinations – it might not ‘wick’ but it generates less sweat to begin with?

    2. You don’t need something you could *play* golf in to watch golf. The other poster’s suggestion should be great. Err on the feminine side (cute sneakers, throw on some pearls) and you’ll be good to go. If you want to be golfy get a golf brand ball cap (callaway, etc) in a feminine color to match the rest of your outfit.

      1. I know I don’t need to wear something I can play golf in, I just know the weather in NC in June and was thinking technical fabric so I don’t sweat myself to death (and if I do I’ll dry fast). But Cat’s right, linen works for that too! I should be good on accessories, fortunately.

    3. A tennis dress would be fine. You could also wear linen shorts and a sleeveless top. Or a sundress. Just be sure to wear comfortable shoes, as there is a lot of walking, and bring a hat or visor and a sweater.

      1. Thanks! Regardless of what outfit I end up in, I will be wearing my most comfortable fashion sneakers, slathered in sunscreen, and hatted up :)

    1. She is a model — if she had those items from Banana or Uniqlo, they’d look this good on her. I think tailoring would make any mall brand look good on you. Madewell? Banana?

        1. On me, somehow, it would be a snoozefest on a good day and sad basic b*tch or worse (I’d mess up the shoes).

    2. I really can’t get details of the outfit from the picture, and I’m awful at tracking down specific pieces. However I just wanted to say that I think it’s a very classic outfit that tons of people can pull off. Here are some similar-ish pieces…

      camel midi length lined wool coat: https://bananarepublic.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=754435012&vid=1&tid=brpl005689&kwid=1&ap=7&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjwltKxBhDMARIsAG8KnqV1BmH8lvdC43S1ZceByxXMZvy0nm-fmIB0bjlbOGAaKk4xj86RoecaAizwEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds#pdp-page-content

      camel midi length lined wool coat: https://www.everlane.com/products/womens-italian-rewool-long-peacoat-camel?locale=US&utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=pla-google-pmax&utm_campaign=20281780980&utm_content=&utm_term=&adgroup=&pid=12332-95955&device=c&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjwltKxBhDMARIsAG8KnqW3zagpkPxUbSzNYimXnbHWEv9mQfQRmZ0lt-4_Yhc6VQ6Oci9U1l4aAkB3EALw_wcB

      Black silk button up shirt: https://www.bodenusa.com/en-us/sienna-silk-shirt-black/sty-t1468-blk?code=J3T6&tc_ch=ps&tc_ve=goog&tc_so=pmax&tc_me=cr&tc_ca=ss-drop-offer&tc_au=&tc_cr=na&tc_campid=US+-+Performance+Max+-+WW+-+New+-+100%2B&tc_adgroupid=&tc_kwid=&tc_matchid=&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjwltKxBhDMARIsAG8KnqXa98csjyXAbwhLgFrVsZvm1fAiB9RbHsXPpYucgCHUdlgX7BmHjOoaAhRkEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

      Off white straight leg jeans: https://www.everlane.com/products/womens-original-cheeky-jean-ecru?locale=US&utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=pla-google-pmax&utm_campaign=21165092076&utm_content=&utm_term=&adgroup=&pid=10085-77022&device=c&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjwltKxBhDMARIsAG8KnqV5uR4svwO03ZRe_z5kKP8tKn86PziOz-wTs_dpC7l-AeDkx7IRsH8aAloaEALw_wcB

      I’m not going to try the shoes because I don’t know what to call that leather woven thing, but they’re some sort of slingback heels in light tan.

    3. Honestly I have to agree with “is this a fit or is she just thin/hot/a model”–it feels pretty easy to find–high waisted narrow fit/Levi’s wedgie style jeans in a cream color, a black poplin button front shirt, a rich caramel (probably cashmere or nutria or whatever) overcoat/car coat worn thrown over shoulders. One thing I notice is that the zipper on the jeans goes all the way to the gusset which is a sign of expensive jeans. Someone on YT pointed out cheap jeans will have the zipper stop before the gusset seam and I can’t unsee it now!
      I would bet one can find these at COS, Aritzia, &Other Stories, Mango, BR, J.Crew, Scotch and Soda, Nordstrom, and on and on. It’s just she’s 6′ tall and a size 2 and stunning.

  10. Has anyone used Amazon Try Before You Buy? I am a prime member and it seems pretty straight forward but looking for feedback. I looks like if I do it I just have 7 days to return what I don’t want before my card gets charged, and returns are typical of normal Amazon Prime return process. Is that really it?

    fwiw, not looking to get in to a discussion about fast fashion or Amazon in general. Buying some basics on there is going to satisfy a need I have for this moment in time where I have fast fluctuating body weight due to medical reasons.

    1. I considered it, but the returns process is so easy on its own (paying attention to any exceptions to the ‘free returns’ policy before checkout) that I didn’t want to mess around with specific sub-windows for returns, etc.

      1. If you pay by credit card and return before your bill is due it’s exactly the same as try before you buy so I don’t really see the point for me.

        1. My only thought was I’d I do a lot of returns probably as I try to fit this changing body of mine, and this is a program to protect me from being flagged for fraudulent activity … but sounds like no one else has had the issue with returns? Not something I should worry about?

          I had this happen to me at Loft in my 20s when I was trying to find a perfect outfit for a very important event. It was such a PITA at the time.

    2. Yes, I have done it when needed a formal dress and wanted more options than Rent the Runway (where I’d have to pay for all the options). I have also ordered a pile of white jeans that I could try on. I like it a lot. I live a few blocks from an Amazon Fresh store so returns are easy. You don’t even have to put them in a box!

    3. Yes, I’ve done it many times and it works just like they tell you it will. You can drop off the return at Whole Foods generally if you can’t deal with packing it up and mailing it back.

    4. I tried on jeans this way. You get the item, you return it within the window, or you get charged. You can still return it after being charged if you’re too late. I found it super straightforward

  11. Work clothes that don’t wrinkle? In theory I like non polyester materials but often times they wrinkle easily. They also look great when I put them on in the morning but look bad at the end of the day after I sit in my office all day. Any recommendations? Budget is ~$300-500 per piece and would need things that are more on the formal end of biz casual.

    Thank you!

    1. 3-season wool seems to not wrinkle. Ditto DVF silk jersey (get a print and it will never seem to wrinkle); I don’t like the wraps but some shift-style dresses have been workhorses, especially on travel.

    2. That’s why synthetics were such a miracle when they were introduced all the ads were about giving up the drudgery of irony

    3. Brooks Brothers and Foxcroft make non-iron blouses — for pants avoid linen, cotton, crepe. My NYDJ ponte pants never wrinkle, I don’t think.

    4. Clothes will wrinkle and that’s fine. If you have something at the end of the day you need to look amazing for, bring another set of clothes.

    5. synthetic knit fabric faux-wrap just below the knee v-neck dresses with 3/4 sleeves have become somewhat of a uniform for me, especially when traveling for work — they will be appropriate for a wide range of activities and climates, and can be scrunched into luggage and shaken out at the destination.

      1. Plus, patterned fabrics are more forgiving of an imperfect body AND will disguise any spills from eating airline meals at your seat.

  12. What do you think makes a “great” summer? I’m going to be more intentional about enjoying this summer and am looking for ideas. I’m single and don’t have kids, which sometimes makes summer hard since I don’t always have anyone to hang out with or travel with, but would love to hear opinions from anyone!

    1. Adventure. Think climbing a peak after the snow has melted, whitewater rafting, swimming in an alpine lake. For micro adventures close to home, check out new pools in the area, try new hikes and bike rides, and get a lot of summer treats like ice cream and lemonade. More time outdoors is key.

    2. Long afternoons in the park on a blanket with a book and beverage, and inviting friends to drop by as they have time and hang out. Lots of time at the pool, ocean, or in a lake. Farmers markets and making gazpacho on Sunday night.

    3. outdoor time, especially in the evenings so you’re really maximizing the longer daylight.

    4. A break in routine and really enjoying the small things like outdoor dining, chilling on my patio, and being outdoors as much as I can. Rent a kayak for the day!

    5. I’m also single/child free, and for me a great summer includes a good number of beach days, some tubing, lots of late afternoon/evenings eating outside, and hopefully having a friend with a boat.

      1. I absolutely love seeing women tubing, waterskiing, or wakeboarding and not just sitting on the beach watching the men do it. I think it’s so great for mental health and body confidence.

    6. For me, as much time as possible spent outdoors. I live in the Bay Area so not too many days are “too hot” – I just love to be outside, even if it’s just on my little square of earth behind my house, but I also enjoy parks, forests, beaches, all that stuff. The long days are the absolute best.

      I also love the lightweight clothing of summer. I have never been an athleisure person, and probably never will be. It’s not a summer day without breezy cotton or linen shirts, pants, or dresses. I love it so much.

      1. Also in the Bay Area and I live for outdoor dork clothes – Tevas, Patagonia baggies, sunshirts. I’ll never win style awards but when I’m dressed for the outdoors, I feel like I can go on any adventure at a moment’s notice. I’m also channeling dear relatives who focused on function over fashion.

      2. Big same – nothing makes me happier than putting on shorts for the first time it’s finally warm enough.

    7. A couple years ago someone posted their Achievable Summer Bucket List here and I do something like that almost every season now. It helps so much! And it can literally be “1. Drink rose on the patio. 2. Eat dinner outside” kind of thing.

    8. I’m child free and married, but my husband has a big summertime hobby (bass fishing) that I don’t do, so a lot of my weekends I’m on my own. I make bucket lists for every season in my notes app – highly recommend just putting all the ideas in one place. This is what I had last year – about half were checked off. I’ll change it for this year, but like a lot of what is one here still.

      Home
      – [ ] Yoga on the front porch every week at least once
      – [ ] Read in the hammock in the trees every week at least once
      – [ ] Eat as many meals outside as I possibly can
      – [ ] Add a picnic table in back yard
      – [ ] Drink rose on the front porch
      – [ ] Grow vegetables and flowers in raised beds
      – [ ] Plant rhubarb and strawberries
      – [ ] Bonfire at home with s’mores

      Activities
      – [ ] Go mini golfing
      – [ ] Hike all the trails in a local hiking challenge
      – [ ] Hike in 5 new state parks
      – [ ] Get a pink manicure
      – [ ] Saturday mornings: yoga classes + coffee + greenhouse or farmers market wandering
      – [ ] Go on the boat at least once a month with DH
      – [ ] Go swimming in the creek
      – [ ] Take my dogs swimming

      Eating
      – [ ] Eat ice cream for dinner the first time it hits 100 degrees
      – [ ] Standing ice cream date with DH
      – [ ] Try a specific dinner club that’s only open in the summer
      – [ ] Eat at a certain fun restaurant patio
      – [ ] Brat and hot dogs on the grill
      – [ ] Try 10 new salad recipes
      – [ ] Make my own bruschetta with tomatoes I grew myself
      – [ ] Make/preserve strawberry jam
      – [ ] Can peaches
      – [ ] Make/preserve homemade tomato sauce

      General
      – [ ] Every Sunday – no email or social media
      – [ ] Play Spotify summer playlists every day
      – [ ] Read a new book series

      1. What a great list! I think we would be friends. Mine usually has similar stuff (yoga on the patio, read outside with an iced latte in the morning, make pesto from my own basil, take the dog swimming…)

        1. :) definitely. Basil was my surprise favorite garden plant last year, I’m anxiously waiting for it to grow faster this year already.

    9. What makes a great summer? When the weather gods smile on me and the garden flourishes. It’s only once every three years or so, haha.

      More seriously, the best summers were the ones I spent in our hometown relaxing outside. Whether that means going for ice cream, taking a 3-5 mile walk, finding a friend with a boat to go out on the river, or just sitting on the front porch with a magazine, those are the moments I look back on fondly. I try not to travel over the summer, with only some success.

    10. Oh Lordy, seeing all the excitement about being outside makes me sweaty preemptively! I live in a hot and humid place, so we like to see movies and fan ourselves while complaining about the heat.

      In all seriousness, I love just taking life at a slower pace throughout the summer.

      1. Same. I avoid outside for the heat and humidity, and keep away from the sun as much as possible. Fortunately, I go to work in the dark. When walking to the car, I wear gloves and a hat, and keep the gloves on for driving.

        Outside dining is great in Europe.

    11. I think a great summer means doing things you can only really do in this season, and having unstructured leisure time. Things you can only do in this season include eating ripe strawberries, swimming outside, staying outside late without a jacket, basking in all day sunshine, that sort of thing. Unstructured leisure time + outdoor sunshine is a great combo, even if just for a day or a weekend. What also makes summer feel like summer to me: iced coffee only, wearing only light colors, never turning on my oven (I basically don’t from May to October, but live in Europe so no AC), colorful striped beach towels, certain music I only typically listen to in the summertime.

      1. Eating a ripe peach is one of the joys of summer for me. It gets everywhere and it’s just what it is.

    12. I think taking advantage of the nice weather even on a weeknight makes a huge difference. Take yourself to an outdoor restaurant on a random Wednesday, go for a run or walk with a pretty view, go hiking, etc. Basically do anything you can think of that is outdoors as often as possible even if it means doing it alone or on a weeknight.

    13. For me, one of the best parts about summer is a more relaxed pace, so I can be mom instead of nag mom. Bedtime is less important. Homework doesn’t exist. Healthy snacks are ripe and delicious. I feel like this is really who I am.

  13. I’m looking for a few relatively inexpensive linen or linen-like sleeveless dresses that I can belt and wear with a blazer as my work uniform this summer. Have you seen anything like this or have any suggestions on where to look?

    1. I actually got a great basic linen-blend shift from Target this spring! Only $20. I got black, but they have a few colors.

    2. Quince has a linen tank dress that seems like what you’re looking for. Its a couple inches above the knee on the model but the site says the model is 5’9″ so it’d would probably be around knee length on someone of average height.

    3. Browse JCrew – the linen pieces they just rolled out for spring feel really nice IRL.

    4. Lands’ End might have some. I noticed some really goodlooking pieces in a recent catalog, and I was surprised because in the past several years nothing has caught my eye.

      1. Is it just me, or does Lands End not have nearly as much on their website as in the catalog? I see a lot of great stuff in the catalog, but when I go to look online, it’s nowhere to be found. Maybe they sell out really fast?

        1. Enter the sku from the catalog and you’ll find it. I find their website hard to navigate.

    5. Target has a $20 shift sleeveless dress right now that is cute and would be work appropriate depending on your height!

  14. If anyone needs a Friday laugh, check out @mrzachoods on IG – his “GRWM” get ready with me reel.

    I watch a lot of makeup videos (I don’t wear a ton of makeup, I just find them soothing somehow) and Zach’s version was exactly what I needed and didn’t know I needed it.

    1. To take the humour up a notch, try @walksauce42_. He does GRWM reels are hilarious.

  15. First time visitor to Universal Orlando this summer! Family trip with a tween. Any recommendations or tips? We’ll be staying on property. I’m familiar with Disney stuff so this feels like a whole new adventure!

    1. Do not get the frozen butterbeer. It made everyone in our party sick.

      Ollivander seems to choose younger kids and siblings for the wand ceremony. Our tween daughter didn’t get chosen, but Ollivander asked her to stay after the show and did a quick wand ceremony just for her. It was really sweet. I think it was because she was wearing her Hogwarts robes. Just something to consider if your kid is into Harry Potter.

    2. Don’t buy a skip the line pass ahead of time. You can buy it once you’re in the park if the lines are long, but whenever I’ve gone the lines aren’t actually that bad and it would have been wasted money.

    3. Ride the Harry Potter rides on an empty stomach. Single rider for HP is great but you miss a lot of the “experience”. If you get butterbeer, you only need one to share as family. Don’t skip the old classics.

    4. In the mornings (before like 10:30?) they serve a breakfast at the Harry Potter World restaurants. It is surprisingly tasty and you can get a kids’ meal that includes a drink for like $12. You can get a butter beer there (I agree, they were gross) included with your meal. They aren’t going to card you or anything so I would say the meal is enough for 90% of adults and will let you all try the butter beer (which are about $9 on their own).

      It’s very loud – even compared to Disney. I took my kid there for a mom/kiddo trip and he had the time of his life. One other place where it’s different from Disney is that you have to put your bags in a locker frequently and even go through metal detectors for some rides to make sure you’re not sneaking a phone on. If you’re used to bringing a larger backpack, you’ll have to pay but a smaller bag or belt bag fit right in. I have the Lululemon size Large belt bag and it was perfect for 90% of what I needed.

    5. We went to Universal Orlando last year and had a good time. Are you staying at one of the properties that comes with Express Passes? We stayed at the Royal Pacific and having the Express Passes was really nice. It allows you to skip the stand-by line into a line that is much shorter. Unlike Genie+ there is no scheduling or planning needed. You just get into the Express Pass lane and scan your hotel key card.

      Park to Park tickets are needed if you want to ride the Hogwart’s Express between the two parks.

      Bring Less Drowsy Dramamine if you get motion sick; a lot of the rides have screens that can trigger motion sickness. Less Drowsy Dramamine let me enjoy rides like Forbidden Journey that I would never have gotten through otherwise.

      Get to the parks early as it is noticeably less crowded in the morning. I found the morning really pleasant walking around Diagon Alley. We went back in the afternoon and it was so mobbed it was not pleasant walking around.

      Hagrid’s Motorbike Adventure is a great ride, but no express lane yet, and it always has a wait. A lot of people run to it first thing in the morning, but we didn’t do that strategy. It wastes the prime morning time without crowds waiting in a long line because everyone runs there and the line become really long very quickly. I set an alarm in their app for when the line got to be manageable, and then went to it when the alarm hit. We waited for much less than the line would have been first thing in the morning.

      We went in April when the weather was perfect, so can’t offer any tips on surviving the heat.

    6. Have fun! We went to Universal with tweens in March, and it was truly an easy trip. Prepare to walk a lot; there’s not much you can do about the lines so brace yourselves. We broke up the trip with a day at Volcano Bay and LOVED it. It is really underrated, imo.

      1. Oh yeah, belt bags for everyone. It helped to be able to pack a snack and have a few essentials nearby. I would not carry a backpack; it’s truly not necessary with older kids.

    7. Stay in one hotel that gives you access to the fast pass for 2 days – one the night before and one the night after. Buy the 2024 Walt Disney Guide and read the Universal section and plan. We did this and it was highly successful trip! And don’t do some of the water rides until the end or you will be miserable and soaked the whole time (or if you must at least bring a change of clothes).. we made that mistake!

  16. I need to lighten my load for an upcoming trip. I am looking for a lightweight, probably nylon, “second” bag for air travel. A tote or whatever fits on top of a roller that is roomy but not too large, and most importantly doesn’t weigh a lot. Ideally it would fit my laptop in its sleeve, small handbag, all my toiletries, and a pair of shoes, plus my travel shawl/pashmina type thing shoved in the top. What do you use for this?

    I’ve always just taken my leather Cuyana tote but I’m looking for something lighter and less business.

    1. I have a Tumi zippered tote for this. Super light but very durable and capable of taking a lot of weight. It slides over a suitcase handle. But it is flimsy, does not stand up on its own, etc

      1. + 1 for a Tumi laptop nylon tote. Looks professional, will hold everything you listed and is lightweight.

    2. Longchamp is my ride-or-die personal item for being lightweight, flexible, and zippered. There’s an expandable model that has a zipper around the middle that I use if I really need to stuff a lot in in there (search Le Pliage Expandable Tote).

      I use pouches to keep stuff organized inside.

      1. I have the expandable version and it’s the most versatile bag I’ve ever purchased. I even throw it in the washing machine.

      2. +4. I alternate between the expandable one and the normal size depending if I want to use the bag as my main purse at my destination.

        Also, get the Cincha strap to secure it on a wheeled carryon! I used to scoff at the price and MacGyver-ed one myself using some extra buckled straps lol. Then finally splurged and bought the real thing during BF/CM sale last year. And oh man, the actual Cincha is so nice; very well designed.

    3. Longchamp Le Pliage is the obvious choice I think. I’ve had my Le Pliage Neo since 2016 and it looks practically brand new and weighs nothing. I love it as a basic tote and use it for travel all the time. I wish it had a trolley strap, but that’s my only complaint.

    4. You are basically describing the Longchamp nylon tote.

      I use one from Muji that is a full carry-on size and packable, but for what you describe: Longchamp or a dupe.

    5. Longchamp was a classic for travelers forever before it got trendy with college girls. I just traveled to Europe and saw tons of these totes in the airport. I’ve had the same one for 15ish years, including through all of law school, and it’s flown everywhere with me.

    1. Also no experience but this is really cool! Not to be an enabler but Bergdorf’s has 10% cash back through Rakuten right now…

  17. Hello everyone! I am graduating law school next week, and my mom wants to get me a nice work bag for a graduation gift (hi mom, if you’re reading!). I know this question has been asked a million times, but suggestions on where to look?

      1. Not sure about budget since it’s a gift. For size, I think big enough to hold a laptop, wallet, etc, but not so big that it feels like luggage. Open to different materials

    1. Should add: We’re going to go shopping together, so I don’t need to pick out one specific bag right now. More looking for stores/brands

    2. if your mom is a baller I’d get the Christian Louboutin Cabata tote
      if not i’d get a long champ le pliage in black–even if you upgrade later it’s just nice to have.

    3. Lo and Sons website is worth checking out. I’ve used each of mine for 5+ years. Currently using a Seville with the outside pocket; had the OG prior.

    4. How will you be commuting? A leather tote is beautiful but heavy if you’ll be walking.

      1. This. Also consider getting a nice one in a backpack style so you’re not always hurting one shoulder on your commute.

    5. If you’re planning to carry a laptop and don’t commute primarily by car, I would recommend a backpack. I commute by public transit and I don’t see anyone with heavy totes anymore.

      For something super splurgy, I just got myself the Bottega Veneta Andiamo (medium?) tote, and it is beautiful and practical. It fits all my regular daily stuff and a book, notebook, and/or ipad if needed. I do not carry a laptop regularly.

      1. So I will be commuting by foot and public transportation. I’m very hesitant to do a backpack–Perhaps TMI but I am a sweaty person and have previously found that my back gets kind of gross if I try to do much of anything with a backpack

      2. +1 I think “daily driver” totes do quite a bit of damage to your body with the weight of a laptop plus lunch.
        I only break out my fancy bag for non-laptop days or off-site meetings.

    6. Twenty years ago my mom bought me a Tumi tote as a graduation gift from college that we picked out together. I used it all through law school and it is still my daily work bag. It’s a little schlubby now but I love it and always remember what a big splurge (for her) she made for me. So for me, Tumi is always the answer :)

      1. Yes, +1 for a Tumi laptop tote in black nylon. Indestructible, looks professional, will fit a lot including a laptop.

    7. My daughter is graduating law school next week but I don’t think you are mine! Grandma is getting my grad a Valentino tote bag from Nordstrom Rack.

    1. It doesn’t look like there’s a lot of room for error in the bodice cups, so I would keep looking.

    2. I’m a 30dd and Reformation fits me really well in a size 4 if i’m ok with showing some major cleav. If you’re around the same dress size I’m not sure the cups will be big enough, but it’s worth a try if you’re ordering a larger size I think.

    3. FWIW, I have this dress in another print and I am a 34B. I am 5’9 and have it in a size 4. I think it would probably be too tight in the bust on you.

    4. I looked at the customer photos and reviews and it doesn’t seem to be the best option for the larger-chested.

  18. Help this mid-size 40-something out. I’m looking for a couple of new running tanks. Ideally, I’m looking for something that’s looser and not clingy around the middle. And not cropped, for the love. I have Athleta’s Momentum tank and while I like it for layering, it shows off my soft middle just a bit too much.

    1. Ha I was going to suggest the Athleta in motion tank until I finished reading. Maybe just size up so it doesn’t feel so clingy?

    2. I love the Oiselle Flyte tank, although I’m not sure it is quite what you want. Definitely not cropped but it isn’t super loose at the bottom. I think the pictures on their website are pretty representative of how it fits.

      1. I love them. I have a soft middle and size way up in any tops with a numbered size. 54, 5-4, 130# and a 12 got me the looseness I wanted. An 8 was more body skimming than I wanted.

      2. I posted above about the Flyte tank, but if that looks too fitted to OP, they have several described as boxy or swing that should work.

      1. But be warned, there is no vanity sizing and many items are cut for people in very good shape. I’m usually the small end of medium and many items there were so snug in the tummy that I needed a L most of the time. Ego was a little scuffed up bit their stuff is good.

    3. If a racer back is okay, maybe the Arctic Cool tank. I received a short-sleeved version as a gift, and it is my favorite running shirt right now. I usually run on a treadmill in a slightly-too-warm gym, and I sweat, and it never clings.

  19. Help me plan a vacation in early to mid August. I know it’s sort of last minute, but we were waiting to hear about dates for a couple of things, so here I am. DH and I are mid 40s. Two kids 14 and 10. One kid prefers city trips, the other prefers outdoor adventures. DH and I like the beach. We are basically open for anything. Where would you go?

    1. I have kids exactly the same ages. How about British Columbia? Fly into Vancouver, take a seaplane to Victoria, then maybe go on an adventure from there. Vancouver and Victoria are great cities with really different vibes, proximate to lots of outdoor adventure.

    2. I should have clarified. Probably 7 days or so. Can travel from Cleveland, Akron or Pittsburgh airports. No hard budget. It’s our big vacation, so $5,000 with lots of wiggle room.

      1. I will throw in that Charleston has Folly Beach next door. But honestly, Rehoboth Beach is just awesome.

      2. other idea- Boston & Nantucket or MV? but for either of those islands you need to book immediately

    3. Finale Ligure in Italy. Fly into Nice and drive across the border – beach, mountain biking and cute coastal towns with great food.

      1. this sounds amazing but you’d be lucky if $5K covered the airfare for 4 people in August!

        1. Fair point – we usually travel late June in the window before European schools close. There’s a few European long distance discount airlines that if you have flex on arrival/departure day and city (if you don’t mind driving an hour or two on departure or arrival or stopping over on the way). TAP, Discover and Condor are the ones I watch.

          Could also fly into Milan or Bologna for Finale Ligure.

        2. She did say the budget was flexible, but yeah. Even going to Europe in late May/early June we normally spend well over $1k/person for economy tickets from Chicago and I’m fine flying TAP, LOT, IcelandAir and other EU budget carriers.

    4. Portland OR as a hub (city) for tons of outdoor stuff! You can have an amazing Oregon road trip that time of year or just stay in Portland and there are still a billion outdoor adventures within 45 min.

  20. I’ve got about $1 million with Vanguard and am wondering whether it’s time to bite the bullet and get a financial advisor through Vanguard, mostly because I’m not sure if I’d get back the $3,000/year cost. I make almost $200k/year, max out my retirement funds, and have life happens funds (no need for 529s). I admittedly don’t have the best, or any, tax mitigation strategy. I’m interested in your thoughts on whether it’s worth it. Thanks!

    1. same, though with Fidelity. I haven’t connected with an advisor because I do not want to actively manage these funds. I look at my portfolio mix once a quarter and adjust towards pretty basic targets. I do some minimal review of taxable gains and call it a day.

    2. Is your $ in retirement funds or taxable accounts? I do t know how active you need to be with index funds, especially if they are also in retirement accounts or Roths. Just be sure you have the tax-advantaged classes (admiral shares, etc.).

    3. I don’t know that you’re going to get sophisticated and accurate tax advice from a financial advisor who isn’t also a CPA. I think good financial advisors for people like you probably exist, but I’m really skeptical that most provide much value compared to reading a bit, Vanguard’s free tools to assess diversification, and some basic future value and future expense modeling in a spreadsheet.

    4. I had a financial advisor for my IRA rollover at VALIC and I really think he steered me into funds that had some sort of one time bonus commissions for him. The loads were fairly normal, but I’m not sure the bonuses were disclosed. In the long run, I wasn’t happy with him and his responsiveness. He was super attentive when I was a new client but pretty much ignored me after, then tried to talk me out of making moves to things like index funds.

      It was also very hard to transfer my money out of there – which is more a VALIC shortcoming than the advisor’s, but suffice to say I recommend neither.

    5. I don’t think so. I have $2MM in Fidelity retirement accounts and have never thought about getting an advisor. It’s hard for humans to beat the market unless you pay really high fees and/or they’re doing something shady.

    6. Are you subject to insider trading concerns, and stuck with index funds? A Vanguard advisor isn’t going to do you much good since your “mix” is restricted. You likely need someone local to your area with private banking (e.g., Northern Trust, etc.) so you can consider other types of investments (real estate, jv interests).

    7. My experience with a Vanguard advisor drove me to Fidelity. (I also moved some retirement accounts out.) After our initial consultation she was unreachable and Vanguard customer service generally was abysmal. I spent hours trying to correct a small error.

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