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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
Every winter, I look to Uniqlo for affordable, flattering knits. I know wool is not for everyone, but if it’s for you, look no further. As someone who runs hot, these sweaters are thin enough that I can wear them to work without sweating, but they do provide a nice layer for chilly days and, in my opinion, they feel a lot more luxurious than the $39.90 price.
The sweater is $39.90 at Uniqlo and comes in sizes XXS–XXL. It also comes in seven other colors.
This wool-blend V-neck from Halogen is available in sizes 1X–3X in three colors for $69 at Nordstrom.
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Sales of note for 9.16.24
- Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
- Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
- J.Crew – 30% off wear-now styles
- J.Crew Factory – (ends 9/16 PM): 40% off everything + extra 70% off sale with code
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Extra 25% off all tops + markdowns
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- White House Black Market – 40% off select styles
Sales of note for 9.16.24
- Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
- Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
- J.Crew – 30% off wear-now styles
- J.Crew Factory – (ends 9/16 PM): 40% off everything + extra 70% off sale with code
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Extra 25% off all tops + markdowns
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- White House Black Market – 40% off select styles
Some of our latest posts here at Corporette…
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
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- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Deb
Sorry – I know this has been asked before but I am getting a house cleaner for the first time – do you tip? It’s a woman and her assistant not a big company – I paid 300 for a deep clean and am going to have her come monthly for 190. Do I tip a little each time or a big tip for the December cleaning (and how much?) thanks very much. Boston suburb if it matters
Ribena
Check with local friends but standard where I am has always been to tip just at Christmas, to the value of an extra clean, if that makes sense
Anonymous
Same for me.
Anon
Same for me. Sometimes I’ll add extra if my house is extra messy (they cleaned after I hosted a dinner party and I added $50 to their usual fee and gave them a heads-up it was messier beforehand).
Senior Attorney
Same here.
MND
For recurring, the common approach is to tip the cost of one cleaning around the winter holidays. If you’re starting now, doing anything extra around Christmastime would likely be appreciated, and then a full cleaning cost next year (2022).
Anokha
Standard in SF is big tip for Christmas cleaning that’s the equivalent of 1-1.5 cleaning.
anon
I do not tip for regular cleanings, but do what others have mentioned – tip the cost of a cleaning around the holidays ($160 for me). It’s a wife and husband team, not a big company.
txblue
I tip the cost of one cleaning around Christmas (in Dallas)
anon
What’s the etiquette for a larger company, particularly if it happens to be different people? (Not ideal, I know)
advice
I used to have folks come sporadically from a larger company. In that case, I did tip them each time. They were paid terribly and did such a good job. Like $20 each.
Anon
What’s the proper thing to do if it is a larger company where it may be different people each time (not ideal, I know) or if it is sporadic and not recurring?
Senior Attorney
When I had a service I still did “cost of a cleaning at Christmas,” on the theory that everybody was doing the same thing and even if I didn’t have the same people each time, everybody was getting Christmas tips so it evened out.
Anon
So sad that my first thought was low-budget Shiv Roy.
Monday
The tiniest violin in the universe plays for low-budget Shiv! And you have a point. This model’s expression would suit the character. We can imagine she’s gone without a haircut for a while because…she’s become a disgraced nobody and her husband is in prison?
BeenThatGuy
This is the comment that all other comments will have to live up to today. Brilliant!
Anon
Would be interested to know who assembled Tom’s prison binder and if he got what he wanted. Me, if I were a guy, FCI Butner b/c you’d get seasons, but not so extreme. It’s in North Carolina and had some notables there. For women, Alderson FTW.
Anon
My ILs are low-budget Waystar-Roycos. Like there was a family company and then somehow it went to the one son and not the daughters. And also the beach house. And each time they daughters’ children get together the amount of $ rises from $0 (bankrupt company) to about $70M (it goes up each time). I think that the daughters got nothing? College paid for? Definitely not 1/3 of any # by # bandied about other than $0. Husband now wants to buy some sort of stock in something just to go to an annual meeting and cause a ruckus and be courted for his vote (I tried to explain, it doesn’t really work like that; I am a dream-crusher apparently).
Anonymous
I am confused. Where do your in-laws fit in to this story? Did your husband end up with their company and beach house? Were the business owners his grandparents so his father got the business or his mother didn’t?
Anon
My husband is the son of one of the daughters. The daughters’ kids are all close, I guess now that they don’t have the grandparents’ beach house to gather at. The son and the son’s kids are all haughty nasties who went to party schools for college and “work” at the business.
It is sort of Mare of Easttown meets Waystar Royco. Thanksgiving and/or liquor leads to the airing of succession grievances. [It could well be that the company was worth nothing when the son got it and he made it into something. I have no idea, truly, but the stories and this show mesh pretty well. We need to find a Cousin Greg though. I am Adrian Brody with his many layers of clothes.]
Anon
I am very into this entire rambling story and am now going to read it again and again.
Monday
10/10 would watch
Anokha
Fascinating. Is your H the son who inherited everything?!
Anon
No. At best he’d be Roman, but he’s more like Cousin Greg’s kid maybe? His mom is one of the daughters.
Seventh Sister
I’m smitten with any Shiv Roy, low-budget or not. Yes, she’s terrible but she’s a lot of fun. And I have no less than three? Uniqlo cashmere sweaters. They really are great.
Anon
I love them all. It’s a bad love, but it’s love. I’m so obsessed I bought the piano music by Nicholas Britell, which is brilliant.
Anon
I’m back in the casual office. I never found new denim for winter, so I’m still in full-length skinny jeans (hey, they fit) and boot-cuts. But what I’m loving are longer cardigan / duster things b/c no one knows I’m not wearing mom jeans or whatever the cool insta-influencers are pushing that’s in stores now.
Anonymous
I promise you, no one cares. At all. Wear what you want and move on.
Anon
Ummm, this is a fashion blog?
Anonymous
People may care here, but in the office, no. You think your boss cares whether middle-aged moms are keeping up with “Insta-influencers?”
Anon
Depends where you work. Mine would notice.
Anonymous
Me too! I’m in skinnies and dusters.
Cat
that won’t disguise your choice of jeans from anyone who cares… but I promise you no one in your office cares.
Anon
I live in NYC and see women — including “fashionable” women — wearing every possible silhouette of jeans, including skinny. I actually enjoy the variety!
Anon
I don’t think most women here are in the instagram mom jeans demographic .
Senior Attorney
Funny story: I bought some “mom jeans” last year and felt horribly self-conscious in them and really never wore them, but I finally busted them out this year and OMG I get a ton of compliments on them. I was flabbergasted.
Anonymous
I was out at a thing last night with a group of “trendy moms” in their late 30s/early 40s. (Many of which are working moms, but this was specifically a big dinner with moms).
At least 3 women had these flat, pointy toe, suede-looking shoes that were either slip on (but not mule looking) or sort of open on the side. They must be stylish/trendy because a handful of ladies had them. And now I want them!
Anyone more stylish than I know what these are /what term for google to buy some?
They are not rothys. They are more structured than that.
Anonymous
These sound like the Free People Royale booties that were popular two or three years ago. I thought those had been played out?
Anonymous
Close, but these looked more like a flat than a show with a piece missing.
Anon
i wore these to office the other day (a pair i customized) i still love thrm and wear sparingly
Vicky Austin
A partially open side is usually called a d’Orsay, I think.
Anon
Were they wearing them over bare feet? I am kind of into anything I can wear with socks covering my ankles now that it is legit cold.
Anonymous
D’orsay flats? JCrew factory has some if you google (avoiding mod with link)
Cat
lol I did not read carefully enough before commenting myself – I am recommending the same thing
Cat
D’Orsay flats is the search term. JCrew factory has some now if you want to test out the trend at a lower price point.
NYC
These almost sound like the Jenni Kayne slides
Anonymous
This was my thought too. Fwiw I was so smitten with the aesthetic in their advertising I bought a pair. They were well made but just not pretty enough on me to justify the money. (That’s a splurge price for me.)
NYC
Good to know, thanks! I’ve been tempted but never purchased
Anon
Isn’t trendy and mom and oxymoron?
Anonymous
Yep! When you have a baby your fashion sense also exits your body and it’s completely impossible to dress nicely for the following 18 years! /s
Curious
It goes out with the placenta, I think.
Anon
So that’s why all those influencer moms eat the placenta…
Anon.
Snort.
Cornellian
anon at 11:54 i almost did a literal spit take
emeralds
Choked on my sandwich, thanks.
Anon
You’re really in the wrong place to express that kind of sentiment. Learn to read a room.
Anon
I was kidding. The others all got the joke. I’m a mom too, lordy.
LaurenB
No, believe it or not, not every woman becomes frump-a-dump-dump once she has children. In fact, the SAHMs around here have the cutest outfits. They have the time to put them together and engage in more self-care / grooming / shopping trips.
Anonymous
Thank you all! I went down a rabbit hole and I think they are birdies.
https://birdies.com/products/womens-slides-swan-navy-suede?variant=39514152861776
Are these still trendy or 2-3 years outdated?
Cat
so, they were all over the influencers like 2-3 years ago. I don’t like the look on myself (whatever the word is for the oppos-te of toe cleavage is super unflattering on my foot, I look like a gnome) so have sat it out. I don’t think they look “dated” yet the way, say, TB medallion shoes do. But would not invest $$$ in a pair as I don’t think this is going to be a look that’s popular for a decade.
RR
I think they are on trend now. I have a couple pair of Birdies and love them. They are super comfy and could move to home slippers if the trend passes.
Anon
I don’t know about trends but I like them.
Anon
they look like 1940s house shoes imho but that’s not intended to be snark just that nothing new under sun
Anon
These are the kind of shoes the teenage me thought grown up me would be wearing with velvet pants for “entertaining at home,” and I’d be luxe or louche or one of those words I didn’t fully understand while living in rural California and having no business reading Vogue magazine like it was the bible.
Grown up me bought some shoes like this and actually did try to wear them with wide legged velvet pants. Unfortunately the hem of my pants got stuck in between my foot and the slip on shoe and I nearly broke my tailbone falling down those last few stairs.
Vogue didn’t mention that part.
PolyD
I’m so sorry, but your story made me laugh! Oh, our teen selves!
I don’t like mules because of the thwack thwack sound they make when walking, and they don’t stay on me feet well. However, I do like the cherry blossom print for swanning around the house in velvet pants and entertaining my friends with cocktails and 70s style hors d’oeuvres. If they were 1/4 the price they are, I might consider them for fun fantasy house shoes.
Anon
It sounds like you really like them, and that’s what matters, right? And if you’re friends are wearing them, they seem like they’re a la mode with your group. Go for it!
Anon
They could be from nisolo
Anonymous
Maybe look at Margeaux for the open back ones
Sarah Lawrence visit logistics
Long shot, but does anyone have recommendations for travel to Sarah Lawrence? I’m coming from DC. I won’t drive there but would take Amtrak into NYC or else fly from DCA. Current plan is to fly to LGA then Lyft to one of the hotels that the college recommends, and use Lyft to get around.
Thanks very much for any tips!
Anonymous
IME it is faster and easier to take Amtrak from DC to NYC than to fly after you’ve factored in airport security and ground transportation.
Cat
+1 on taking the train. Even Acela is inexpensive right now – it happened to work best for our schedule for a recent trip and we got round trips from Philly for $80. That’s less than the NE Regional usually goes for!
Ellen
Rosa says your best bet is to rent a car, but if you are queesy about that, you can stay in the City and just take a Metro North train to Bronxville when you want to visit and it’s a short cab ride from the train station. Rosa did that to lok at the place, and she traveled that way from Long Island her first year before dropping out.
Myrna is still recovering from the Marathon. She got sick after it; she says it is a corona virus, but NOT covid 19. I think mabye it is covid 17, but I am not sure. I hung with her when she started vomiting at the end, and I said that mabye she should not do this next year. She said nonesense, and she knows her body better then anybody.
Anonymous
What kind of recommendations are you looking for?
Anonymous
OP here. Wondering if we overnight in Bronxville / Yonkers to do the tour in the earlier part of the day, will we feel stuck without a car. I’ve looked at the maps and it seems the area around the college is pretty suburban. Usually when we travel we stay in a downtown area where we can walk to get our meals. Thanks!
Anonymous
Bronxville has a cute little “downtown” area, but there’s not much there. The college itself is fairly isolated and you will need to take a car to get anywhere. I didn’t look up their recommended hotels in Westchester, but I would guess you would need to get in a car to go anyplace from one of those hotels.
On weekdays, the Metro North commuter rail goes from Grand Central (42nd and Park) to the closest station (Bronxville) about every half hour and the ride takes about 40 minutes.
Anon
I would Amtrak, then take metro north to Bronxville. I think seeing the connection to NYC would be valuable to a potential student.
They have a breakdown on how to get to the college on their website. If you’re touring colleges, most other colleges have a ‘how to get here’ page as well.
Anonymous
The Metro North train stops right in Bronxville. If I recall, it’s about a 30 minute trip from Grand Central.
Anonymous
If your schedule allows, I’d recommend staying in NYC and taking the Metro North from Grand Central to Sarah Lawrence (Bronxville station- then get a cab at the station) when you need to be there. Agreed on taking Amtrak rather than flying.
NYCer
I agree with this. Bronxville is very residential. There is a small downtown area (Parkway Road if I remember correctly), but I don’t know if there are hotels that are walking distance.
Paging Florence Trip
If your university ran a big study abroad program you should reach out to the local coordinator. I contacted the office for the Florence study abroad program and they sent me a massive packet of local hotels, restaurants, Italian phrases, and names of the various professors who did tours in their spare time. Apparently it is super common for parents of students studying abroad to come meet their kids at the end of their programs so they get asked for this all the time (and the local professors find it a nice side hustle to give small tours to the parents/family who come to visit).
anon a mouse
I am a fan of these sweaters – they wear pretty well and are thin enough to layer under a jacket in the coldest months. I definitely do not need any more but that purple is lovely.
Anon
I bought one of these sweaters and maybe it was just mine, but it was thin enough to read a newspaper through and got holey pretty quickly. Everyone else seems to love them, though.
Ellen
You must use them as part of a layer strategy. I learned this the hard way in college when I thought it could just be used as a warm shirt. After I went outside, everyone could see my bra underneathe, and back then, I was ooogled by the men’s tennis teams, who stopped play when I walked by. I kind of miss the attention now, as men are simply not interested in a woman my age, even tho I have done a pretty good job of keeping my weight down for my age. I still want to find a husband and am not giving up!
Napa recs
Going to be there only for a day and reserved a couple of tastings already. Looking for any other ideas that are a must-do in the opinion of this wise-hive.
Anon
That’s plenty but I’d cancel a tasting and get a meal. Ad Hoc, Bistro Jeanty or Bouchon are my picks. Bouchon Bakery if you don’t follow my advice otherwise.
Anon
+1 to the advice to eat and all these recs but you omitted my favorite Yountville restaurant… Bottega. Also highly recommend Boon Fly for breakfast. If you go to Bouchon Bakery make sure you get a TKO – it’s Thomas Keller’s version of an Oreo and it is unbelievably good. They keep really well so you can bring a bunch home.
Anon
Oh I go back and forth on Bottega, good food but I find the interior dismal – I like the porch on a sunny afternoon….
Anon
Second the TKO and their version of a Rice Krispie treat
Greensleeves
Boon Fly for breakfast/brunch is amazing! Highly recommend the green eggs and ham.
Anon
Fried chicken from Ad Hoc and Addendum
Ribena
I love Uniqlo. I am still wearing a cotton/cashmere blend cardigan I bought from them when I was in high school – so before 2012. Also finally found a solution to my winter coat hunt (to replace a unicorn of a coat that I bought in TK Maxx in 2015 and have worn to death) there – I got the Ultra Warm Short Coat in a gorgeous dark brown.
Anon
I have two Old Navy items from 2002 that are still going strong.
Ribena
I was 8 in 2002, so… that’s great for you?
anon4this
Lol, I think this commenter was just saying that – like you – they have a few items from less expensive stores that are surprisingly going strong. I don’t think this was at all a dig?
Anon
Yeah, weird aggressive response on that.
Ribena
Sorry, I came straight off a tough meeting and read it as an aggressive response and responded in kind. I forget that tone is difficult in writing. My apologies
Anon
Sorry about the tough meeting. Kudos to you for owning this and apologising.
Hope your weekend is better :)
Anon
Okay . . .
Anon
…congrats on your parents boning later than ours, I guess?
Lyssa
I have a pleather jacket I bought from a street vendor in London for 5 pounds during a trip in 2000 that I still adore.
Seventh Sister
I have their cotton trench from a few years ago and it is one of my favorite things.
Anonymous
Speaking of Uniqlo, can anyone comment on quality and sizing of their down puffer? I am thinking of getting one for my teenager for Christmas. She is typically an XS. Most of her coats are size S to allow growing room, but I’m thinking in a bulky coat such as this an XS is better unless this one runs really small.
Anon
Uniqlo runs small. I would gte her usual coat size or even consider going up a size.
Ribena
Their sizing feels pretty standard to me. I mentioned the Ultra Warm Coat above – I bought an XL in that and I’m a hippy US12-14 (U.K. 16-18). I also tried the Hybrid coat and the L was on the big side – but that’s a more generous fit.
Alanna of Trebond
Uniqlo definitely does not run small anymore. The Marimekko collaboration line runs big if anything.
Cornellian
Agree.
Anon
Uniqlo definitely does not run small.
Anonymous
I thought maybe I was weird but I didn’t find Uniqlo to run small. OP I would order TTS (xs) unless she’s very tall.
Anon
I just bought this sweater featured here and a few other items. Uniqlo runs “small” compared to other brands (vanity sizing, but…). Sleeves and torso are shorter than other brands for the same size. I am 5’1, 34B, 135lbs with a postpartum pooch. I fit into a small, but if I didn’t want my pooch showing I’d wear a medium.
For the down puffer vest, in my glory days I fit into an XS at Uniqlo. It barely covers my boobs now.
The down puffers, I’d size up. Also their return policy is not great.
Anan
I wear a size 2-4, 36B bra size, bit of a tummy after having three kids, and I usually wear a Medium in Uniqlo tops, maybe a small if it’s something roomy. The XS is too small for me.
I have the ultra light puffer vest and it actually is less bulky than one would think.
Anon
I cannot stop myself but have you done a bra that fits measurements? I feel like a 36 band is large for someone small enough to wear a 2-4. I wonder if you’re really a 30D or something like that.
Anan
Hmmm interesting. I’m definitely not a D. I mean I did get measured two years ago for a nursing bra and was a D cup then, but now two years post partum have gone back to being a B cup, albeit on the smaller side of B. I can see how some brands would have me in more of a 4-6 size, but not the ones that I usually wear. definitely frustrating that sizing isn’t more standard.
Anon
A D cup is not the same volume on all band sizes. A D cup on a 30 band is a lot smaller than on a 36 band. Anyway, if you have a measuring tape at home you can take the 5 measurements yourself. It’s on the redd1t sub a bra that fits.
I hate to bravangelize but it has made such a huge difference for me that I do tend to lean that way!
anonmi
Head over to Reddit and do the A Bra that Fits calculator. Cup sizes are not static, they are proportionate to band size. If you’re wearing a size 2-4 in US sizing, it’s unlikely your band size is above 30.
Anon
Check out the subreddit, you probably have a misconception of what D really means.
Anonymous
I call BS on band size. I am a size 0-2 and a size 30 band is uncomfortably tight and creates hideous bulges. A 30 is for people with ribcages the size of a sparrow’s, who would wear a 00 or 000 in today’s vanity sizing. A size 4 would have to be at least a 32.
Anon
Band size coupled with cup is how it must always be looked at. I’m a 1x or 2x in clothing and I wear a 38G. No way could I contemplate even getting a 38B hooked around my body. A 30B may be uncomfortably tight on a size 2-4 depending on her breast volume, but a 30D or 30DD wouldn’t be. My daughter is a size 6-8 and wears a 32 band (32 DDD.)
Even if you don’t change bra size, it’s good to do the very easy measurements and see what they say. Too large band/too small cup bras can be very uncomfortable and unsupportive. I wore a 40D (sized at a bra boutique!) before finding my real size at abtf and I was one of those people who could not wait to rip off my bra the minute I got home. I no longer feel that way, and that’s worth A LOT.
Anon
1:57, I think you just don’t understand how dress size relates to band size? I’m a size 6/8 or petite medium and have a comfortable band size of 32. When I was more of a 4/6, my band size was 30. I’ve never fit in a size 0-2; I wouldn’t have fit in that size in fourth grade. But a 34 band has always been too big for me.
Anonymous
For the band size bullshit person: I wear a US 4 and has 28 band as my normal, but can wear 26 (when I can get it) as well. A 32 band on me is like a loose top, no contact with my underbust at all. Clothes size is not that relevant for band size, your body shape and firm/soft ratio are more important.
CB
The quality is good. I have the knee length puffer and it is warm and cozy, I just wish I had bought olive rather than navy. I throw it in a gentle wash and it fluffs right up.
anon in brooklyn
If you’re looking at the Ultralight Down, it’s more of a spring fall jacket. Not warm enough for real winter. The seamless down is the one you want for real dinner. I have one that’s 3 years old, in great shape. If she’s still growing, buy the small. Oversized is trendy for puffers these days, and it’ll fit longer.
All too well?
Have we discussed the 10 minute version of All Too Well yet? I’m not at all a Swiftie (I like her in concept but just never really get into the music I’m probably too old) but man. I. am. obsessed. That song — I haven’t listened to one song I want to listen to over and over again in probably 15 years and but that song. I just want to hear it again as soon as it’s over.
Ribena
I just saw there’s also a Sad Girl Autumn Version. Obsessed also.
Anonymous
The sad girl autumn version is so good
Anon
I’m an old and I love her.
Anon
It’s so good. I don’t buy that it was all original though. Some of the lyrics (especially the crack about his lovers staying her age) sound very 2021 and musically the new parts sound similar to her recent stuff, especially Folklore, to me. It was always my favorite song of hers and the new version is better than the old version.
Anon
The new parts probably sound more recent to you because of how they were recorded/the fact that she worked with Aaron Dessner. I buy that the lyrics and melody were truly from the vault; the way music comes across has so much to do with the production though.
Anon
You’re probably right about the production, but I just don’t believe the lyric about his lovers staying her age was written back then. At the time Jake and Taylor dated, he’d mostly dated women his own age or older. Now he has a reputation for dating younger women (his current GF is 16 years younger I think, not much older than Taylor was back when they started dating). That lyric makes perfect sense today but would have been nonsensical in 2012. I don’t think it’s a big deal if she did add stuff though. She kept the spirit of the song for sure.
Anon
I agree with you, but it seems very risky since she explicitly stated at least once (on Fallon) that it was recorded in rehearsals in original form ten years ago. If she’s lying to make the story better, she must be very confident that everyone involved will back her up, because it’s incredibly easy to disprove.
Anon
The person he dated after Taylor is only a year older than she is, so I can buy it.
Anon
Ok I really like the song and have newfound respect for Taylor after watching the documentary and hearing the song The Man, but this was a three month relationship? Either she fell really, really hard, or it just sparked her imagination to write a mostly fictional song.
Anon
I think she fell really hard! I mean, she was 20. I definitely had relationships like that when I was in my early 20s.
All too well?
I’ve been thinking about it. The patriarchy line seems more recent, as does the punch line one — they’re great but why not just say that you updated it if you did? And it does seem odd to say it was all from back then when it wasn’t. I don’t know where I land.
Anon
She fell really hard. She reportedly lost her virginity to him. It also seems from her songs like they were on and off a lot (e.g., he would reach out after a month or more of not talking) so I suspect they were involved for a lot longer than three months. They publicly dated from Oct-Dec 2010 and it’s hard to believe they weren’t speaking for a month or more of that.
Anon
The patriarchy line was about his keychain? Seems really weird to just come in with the assumption that it’s all new.
Anon
I find the song fascinating for how accurately it describes a relationship with a narcissist – love bombing, devaluing, discard. Yes, I know through painful personal experience.
Anon
Sorry you went through that! I had the beginnings of a relationship with someone who was alternately love-bombing / negging me and it did a number on my head after a while. It took me a business trip away from him for a couple of weeks during the dating period to figure out that going any further with him would do me in.
Anon
I love it and I love the from the vault songs, especially Nothing New.
Vicky Austin
I’m so into it. Wind in my hair, I was there…sigh.
Diana Barry
Recommendations for a 15yo for dystopian or fantasy series? She has Hunger Games and Divergent already. Would Robin McKinley be too juvenile?
Anonymous
Modern Mrs. Darcy has some good YA lists.
This is sci fi, not fantasy, and it’s not dystopian, but if your kid is the socially conscious type she might really enjoy the Wayfarers series by Becky Chambers. (NB: it is very $ex-positive in a not-at-all-explicit way)
Gail the Goldfish
Brandon Sanderson’s Skyward trilogy (3rd book comes out next week). His Reckoners series is probably also about that age group, though I think SKyward is better (they’re really all good, though. He’s one of my favorite authors). And though not a series, I also love Sherwood Smith’s Crown Duel. I don’t think RObin McKinley would be too juvenile, but I’m also a 36 year old woman that loves YA fantasy, so take that for what you will.
Anonymous
My 15-year-old is enjoying the Sixth World series by Rebecca Roanhorse.
emeralds
Oh man, there’s so much fantastic dystopian and/or fantasy YA out there right now! I haven’t read all of these personally, but try: Chloe Gong, Honni van Rijswijk, Victoria Aveyard, Rory Power, Akwaeke Emezi, Namina Forna, Kat Cho, Aiden Thomas, Ayana Gray, and Marissa Meyer. (Some of those are more dystopian-heavy and some are more fantasy-heavy.)
emeralds
And Robin McKinley is a classic fantasy rec if she likes that kind of thing! Some of her work skews older so YMMV. Thinking about Deerskin in particular…it’s a fantastic book and I read it when it was 14/15 (maybe even 13?), but it definitely has some very heavy, mature themes around sexual assault.
Nudibranch
Agreed, and agreed. Deerskin is dark….
Allie
Octavia Butler parable of the sower.
Senior Attorney
Yes was coming here to say this!
BB
Red Rising
Vicky Austin
Tamora Pierce?
TheElms
The Maze Runner, The Wayward Pines trilogy, and Seveneves ( not a series but very very long – possibly too grown up — depends on the kid).
Anon
Naomi Novik’s Scholomance trilogy is set in a rather dystopian high school, so I assume it would appeal to teenagers. Leigh Bardugo’s Grishaverse books are good, though I actually like the sequels a lot better than the first one (Shadow and Bone). City of Brass by S. A. Chakraborty. Strange the Dreamer and other series by Laini Taylor.
Gail the Goldfish
Oh yes, the Grishaverse books! How did I forget those. I agree the Shadow and Bone trilogy is better than the first trilogy. Also loved City of Brass, though I think of it more as an adult than YA trilogy (nothing terribly adult in it though that I’m recalling offhand, so probably fine for a 15 year old).
Anon
I agree with the Grishaverse or maybe start with Six of Crows. I also think Graceling would really appeal to a 15 year old – there are 4 books in that series and it’s really good fast-paced YA fantasy. I read the Scholomance and it was good but the writing was kind of clunky and tortured, there are definitely better books out there.
buffybot
I just got introduced to Naomi Novik (maybe here?) and ran through 4 of her books in 2 weeks, so maybe that’s a good option. She has a series called the Scholomance (starts with A Deadly Education) that is extremely dark but also very readable.
Panda Bear
Maybe go with some classics! I loved Lord of the Rings and Dune at that age. And Margaret Atwood – such a great writer. Oryx and Crake, The Year of the Flood, and Madd Addam are amazing. They are not YA, but but appropriate for a mature 15 year old; nothing is gratuitous, but there is violence, including themes related to child trafficking and s*exual assualt. But such amazing, beautiful books.
Anon
Lord of the Rings is a total sausage party. I remember hating it as a teen for that reason even though it’s a good book.
Also Anon
I loved the movies as a teenager, but found the books to be very dense. I should give them another try as an adult.
Anonymous
I loved Lord of the Rings as a teen but found The Hobbit dull. And I cannot stand the movies. So boring.
What drew me in to the books was performing the Lord of The Rings Symphony by Johann De Meij, so YMMV if your teen has not done that.
Anon100
Speaking of classics, books by Diana Wynne Jones! I can’t believe she hasn’t already been mentioned in this thread, a lot of her writing inspired more recent popular YA writers.
In particular, I would recommend The Merlin Conspiracy, the Howl’s Moving Castle series, and the Derkholm series. Fire & Hemlock has also been a popular one but not one I liked…
reader
Garth Nix is more fantasy but I loved it at that age and just re read it and loved it again.
It’s a bit creepier, but I also liked Neal Shusterman’s book.
And if you think she hasn’t read it yet Kindred by Octavia Butler
Anon
Daughter of Smoke and Bone series.
Anonymous
I’m 45 and still occasionally re-read Robin McKinley (The Blue Sword).
Anon
The Blue Sword was FORMATIVE.
amberwitch
I started with the hero and the crown in translation and loved that to the point of frequent rereads. And when I found the blue sword in english I was thrilled.
I would recommend two series by Elisabeth Bear – the Jenny Casey trilogy and the Jacobs Ladder trilogy (the latter is more of space dystopia, but really great.
Curious
The recs you’ve gotten are great. I might add Neil Gaiman (darker) and Terry Pratchett (more satiric, British humor) to the list.
Squeak
At 15 I was just coming out of my Tamora Pierce phase – her Alanna books are the place to start but I loved all the Tortall books. Circle of Magic and Immortals aren’t too bad (but Immortals has a slightly creepy age gap romance)
Anon100
For fantasy – Has she read any of Mercedes Lackey’s books yet? My favorite book of hers at around age 15 was Black Swan and the Fire Rose, which I found to be the perfect transition between Tamora Pierce’s Tortall books and Garth Nix’s Sabriel/Lirael books.
Also Anon
I’m wondering if Dune might be age appropriate?
Anan
Suggestions for a gluten free something to serve for an outdoor family friendly brunch gathering? I’m fine with making or purchasing. I’m planning on bagels and coffee/tea/hot chocolate/ orange juice, but one of the family has celiac disease so I want to add another option.
Anonymous
An egg bake.
Cat
can you ask the person if they have favorite sources? My first thought is my MIL makes surprisingly good gluten-free blueberry muffins from a box mix – i.e., super easy, dump and bake – but I don’t think she adheres strictly to the recipe.
Anonymous
Baked oatmeal is my go-to when hosting brunch with my GF (lifestyle choice) family member.
Check with your family member before going through the effort to prepare something GF. Some people with celiac disease avoid eating anything that was prepared in a non-GF kitchen.
Anon
This — I know someone who needs to be strictly GF, so pre-bagged Lay’s potato chips are fine to have on hand (the single-serving bags) but they are concerned re cross-contamination with gluten otherwise outside of their house.
Anon
Hashbrowns with cheese. Scattered and covered.
Ellen
Gluten Free Bagels work for Rosa. If she eat’s gluten, she winds up running to the toilet for hours. I learned this the hard way at my apartement, when she made a mess of my toilet. She said she got the gluten allergy after having her son, Myron. He too has a Gluten allergy. PTOOEY ON GLUTEN!
Pompom
mmmm, waffle house
anon
That sounds very carb/sugar heavy. Even the non-celiacs will want something with a little more protein to avoid a sugar-rush headache! Maybe some smoked salmon on a separate plate from the bagels or a cold sliced ham? Or a quiche with a gluten free crust?
Mrs. Jones
Hashbrown casserole
32 oz thawed frozen hashbrowns
1 c sour cream
1 stick butter
1 can cream of something soup
2 c shredded cheddar cheese
1/2 onion chopped
Mix and bake at 350 for 55 minutes then crumble cereal/crackers (or not, to be GF) on top and bake 5 more min.
This is easy and has never not been popular in the 25+ years I’ve made it.
Agurk
Be careful, not all hash browns are GF
anon
If you don’t know them well, please ask the family how sensitive they are to gluten. If the person is someone that cannot handle any cross contamination, they will probably want to bring a dish themselves that is safe to eat. For some people, even the slightest cross contamination is a huge problem. If that’s not the case, and you have a Jewish bakery near by, I would check if they have any gluten free options. Of all places, it’s where I’ve been able to find the best gluten free baking that gets cross contamination – e.g., you can’t put a GF cupcake next to a regular cupcake in the display case.
Anon
I agree with this. The mom of one of my son’s friends brought packaged food for her celiac son to eat at my house. He couldn’t even eat popcorn with the other kids for fear of cross contamination. You really need to check in with the family.
anon
The person has celiac disease. It doesn’t vary in sensitivity. It’s not a choice like “oh I think I feel better when I don’t eat gluten.” Cross contamination is never ok for someone with celiac disease. Any amount of gluten causes damage to the small intestine and increases the chances of infertility and some cancers.
Telco Lady JD
Celiac here. Gluten free baked goods from a mix are surprisingly not bad – I might find a gluten free muffin mix. (I like the one from King Arthur.) You might also do a few roasted potatoes or hashbrowns. I also love an egg bake or strata – and just use store bought gluten free bread if the recipe calls for bread. Works like a charm.
Yogurt, fruit, and granola parfaits might be nice – just make sure to use an actual gluten free granola. Many granolas don’t use gluten free oats – and most oats that aren’t specifically gluten free are cross contaminated (sigh).
Anon
+1 for fruit salad and maybe yogurt. You can make a nice yogurt (and toast) topper by macerating frozen strawberries in sugar overnight.
Anan OP
Thanks… this is great input! I’ve just texted my friend to ask… it always feels weird, but I think the comments are right that it’s the best thing to do.
Anon
Good for you. That’s the wise move.
roxie
Get a GF pie crust at whole foods and make a quiche!
Mindless Shopping Needed
I’ve been so focused on what to cook for Thanksgiving, I’ve completely forgotten to think about the table. We converted during Covid from a very traditional, heavy wood dining room table to a much more transitional style. Glass table with wooden legs, cream suede chairs in fairly modern silhouette. China is in navy and gold, and for the life of me, I can’t figure out how to meld all of that with the traditional turkey palette (orange, rust, green, etc). Anyone want to do some mindless shopping for me? I like the table too much to cover it with a cloth, but thinking placemats, napkins, maybe a runner? Where I am really stuck is on centerpiece. Pinterest not coming through for me today and am generally creative-challenged. Appreciate and and all ideas.
Anonymous
I’d not buy anything new except a lovely jewel toned flower arrangement
Anon
Rust goes well with navy, gold, and cream. Southern Living generally has some good options demonstrating how to incorporate different china patterns for various holidays.
Pompom
Transition away from the “traditional” color palate toward a more neutral look and let the food/wine etc do the color for you. Burlap (like, nice fabric, not a literal sack), natural linen, etc. Maybe incorporate some of the navy from the plates in some other way? Use crystal and metals to create light reflection on the table.
Pompom
In mod because I used t r a n s
Anon
I’m a fan of ignoring traditional colors. I’d get flat leaf eucalyptus branches and do a loose arrangement of those plus candles. Let me see if I can find a pinterest image for you…
Anon
Hard to find, but I’d keep the colors you have, plus neutrals, plus greens – kinda like this
https://www.instagram.com/p/CMUuYlGAKO7/
Cat
I would do a eucalyptus flat lay type of thing with white candles and white pumpkins. Festive but understated.
Anonymous
Ooh, I like this.
Coach Laura
This one has navy/gold china: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/396105729732464908/
This is similar https://www.pinterest.com/pin/396105729732462538/
Or you could just lean into the gold https://www.pinterest.com/pin/396105729735518203/
ALT
I’d do a lot of creams/off whites with brass or bronze (or a mix!). Maybe do some burgundy or rust touches as well in flowers for the table or a centerpiece.
Just re-read and I think you could do off white placemats, a navy or burgundy patterned napkin that’s got a good dose of cream in the pattern too, brass/gold/bronze candleholders scattered down the middle of the table and burgundy/rust florals or foliage (fall leaves?) mixed in with the candleholders. Maybe use an off white runner to ground the whole centerpiece.
I think doing an overly themey tablescape that screams WE ARE CELEBRATING THANKSGIVING is dated.
Anon
I honestly never understand how people do centerpieces with all the thanksgiving food on the table. We have a long table that can fit 8, we usually only have 4 at it, and we have a runner down the center for thanksgiving. The runner is completely consumed with serving dishes at thanksgiving so I have no idea where a centerpiece would go. Do you have a side table for serving, buffet style? Do people dish up in the kitchen? Do you plate everyone’s meal and serve it restaurant style? How does this work?
Cat
Food stays in the kitchen, people are welcome to get up and refill as desired. (This prevents a lot of “can you pass the potatoes” piping-hot-baking-dish annoyance.)
Anonymous
We never put the food on the table when we have guests. Too crowded and too complicated to pass dishes. We set up a buffet on the kitchen table and eat in the dining room.
Mid-range
When does a mid-range law school become a lower-tier law school? I know we talk about T14-ish but what’s the next cutoff?
Cat
So, in the “good national reputation” category I would say T15 to T40. Below that I would be wary of attending unless I had a lot of financial aid (or it was in state tuition) and wanted to work in that school’s known markets.
TheElms
I would say outside the top 50 or so, unless that school is the best school in the market you want to practice in. But even before the bottom of the top 50 it can be geography / practice area dependent. For example, if it got into the University of Iowa (ranked around 30) and George Mason (ranked around 40) and I wanted to stay in the DC area I wouldn’t go to the University of Iowa, I’d pick George Mason. But outside the top 50, the University of Kentucky (ranked around 80) would be pretty good if I were planning to stay in Kentucky.
Anon
Agreed, but I think it has as much or more to do with network than reputation. U of Iowa law may have a fine rep in DC, but you won’t find as many alums there as in Chicago or Minneapolis.
Anon
Ditto USC (the one in Columbia). If you want to be in CLT, it may make sense to pay in-state tuition at USC than go somewhere more highly rated. There are probably other examples. I think when you are lower in the rankings, there can be a greater variety in individual starting salaries compared to the average starting salary or the mean or media (never took stats, srry). Like one kid goes to Skadden and one takes a job as an admin somewhere and the average of those two doesn’t initially look frightening. At Harvard (or Duke or UVA), the highs aren’t that much more than the average and the lows are probably on purpose (clerkship or job paying little but giving you loan forgiveness or JAGC) vs failing the bar or having no viable way of getting a legal job. The bottom half of HLS does just fine. Not true at other schools.
I’d say only go below Top 50 for a very good reason.
Anonymous
I would say only go below top 15 for a very good reason, like you want to practice locally and you are offered a 100% scholarship guaranteed for all 3 years that rises with tuition increases.
Signed, I went to #30-ish for a scholarship that stayed flat while tuition nearly doubled. Should have listened when my con law professor told me to transfer to a better school.
Anon
I had the same experience at my law school also ranked around #30! Maybe the same one? My $25k merit scholarship was almost 90% of tuition my 1L year and barely 60% of tuition my 3L year. That said, between my summer salary and my scholarship I only graduated with about $30k in debt, which is a pretty good price to pay for a degree from a respected law school, and I paid it off easily my first year in Big Law. I probably could have transferred to a T14 after 1L year since I had near perfect grades, but I actually have zero regrets about not doing that. School prestige really only matters for clerkships, which I didn’t care about and the much higher debt burden from a higher ranked school would not have been worth it for me, who just wanted to work in a Big Law firm and save money quickly. I’m still salty about them raising the tuition and devaluing my scholarship so much though.
Anon
What do you to with very large dogs during Thanksgiving? I think mine may be on track to have the best Thanksgiving ever. Keep on a leash by you so that in an open-concept vacation rental so they can’t freely countersurf?
Anon
Crate them. Close them up in a bathroom or garage.
Panda Bear
Agree that crating may be the best solution, especially in an open concept house where you can’t put up a gate. Give him a special bone and he’ll be happy while everyone eats, then let him out for playtime once the counters are cleared.
Anon
Are there cabinets? Condense the stuff in the uppers to one cabinet, and use the uppers to hold stuff away from eager noses. If possible, a long walk and big meal before you start cooking means there will be at least a few naps in between optimistic forays into the kitchen.
My own Bumpous hounds make holidays an adventure. It’s chaos, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
Vicky Austin
Bumpases!!!!
Anon
Crate in a separate room. They’re easily overstimulated, which can lead to out-of-character behavior. Plus, relatives can’t always be trusted to not sneak them treats, which is very much not allowed in our household.
Anonymous
Separate and give a treat. Bathroom, deck, bedroom, hallway with gate, etc.
Equestrian Attorney
If you can’t seperate, we put ours on a leash and tie him up nearby with a nice bone or Kong. That way he’s part of the group but not stealing food.
Anon
Ohh this is our first Thanksgiving with our rescue bulldog. I hadn’t thought of this issue. He’s too short and stout to counter surf (by far!) but he loves to stand next to anyone cooking and gaze at them hopefully. He will 100% be in the way.
Panda Bear
It’s annoying, but I do love that hopeful gaze!
Anonymous
Train them to go lay on their bed when you tell them to. My dogs have a bed in the kitchen that is close to the action, but not underfoot. Train your family/guests to follow the house rules.
Crating when there is lots of other stuff going on in the house would create more disruption.
Anon
Mine get his own plate, on the floor of course. I pull off some turkey, roasted sweet potatoes, and other dog friendly stuff. Everyone gets a primer on why he can’t have stuffing, etc. And giving him his own food keeps him from begging – he’s happy and well fed.
Anonymous
Best trick my dog knows is to “Stay Out of the Kitchen.” She recognizes that command at my home and at anyone else’s. When I see her heading into the kitchen on a holiday, I can gently say “Stay Out of the Kitchen,” and she turns around and heads back into the living room. Most kitchens have different flooring, which must be part of how she processes the command, but it works and is SO helpful.
Notagirl
Pleasr solve a mini-debate I am having with a friend. He is getting hired in a new company, pulled in by a former boss at his current company who moved a few years ago, and who will be his new boss in new company. New company HR sent friend the employment contract to sign and asked for 2 references for a reference check at the same time. To ask his former/future boss to be one of the references – weird or fine? Other would be a current colleague. Current managers will be livid that he is leaving.
Notagirl
….aaand why is this in mod?
Cat
if the reference check is a mere formality – as it seems, given they’ve already made the offer – I think using former-future boss is fine.
Other nominees could be – leader he’s worked with in a charity or community org? Boss from prior job (not current job)?
Anon
Fine. Sounds like a formality.
Anon
Fine, they just want to verify dates of employment and stuff like that.
advice
My brother is raising his one daughter (my only niece) alone. His wife has moved overseas and is severely mentally ill (refuses care) and has essentially not been an uninvolved parent for several years. My niece is in high school, and growing up fast.
Any suggestions about how to be more supportive to my niece from afar? I only get to see her once a year. I try to text, she sends me pix on my alternating picture frame, occasional calls. I recommended to her Dad that he have her see an OB/GYN so she has someone to ask questions to.
She has had some counseling on/off for several years with everything that’s going on with mom. In many ways, she is doing well, but is angry. She has some great young friends who really have their heads on straight fortunately.
Anon
Text more frequently? Most teens don’t seem to like talking on the phone. Is there any way to see her more often? She should probably also be in regular counseling.
No Problem
Seems like you definitely have the opportunity to take the “cool aunt” role. Good you’re already talking and texting periodically! Have you talked to her about being open to answering any questions she has, or just talking about issues of being a teenager? Sounds like she has a pretty good set of people around her, but it’s not clear if anyone has explicitly held themselves out as a good confidential sounding board.
In addition to the OB/GYN appointment (good call!), can you point her to some good You Tube channels or podcasts that will provide some unbiased information that will be useful at her age? Mama Doctor Jones on You Tube comes to mind.
I would also say to just ask questions. Ask if she’s hanging around any boys. She may be coy, but be forthright about telling her about consent, using protection, and pleasure isn’t just for the guy, etc. Ask if she’s feeling depressed, or sad, or anxious, be on the lookout for disordered eating tendencies. Ask if she’s starting to think about post high school life: college? trade school? military? Talk with her about the pros and cons and what might be a good fit for her. Then also make sure her dad is talking about her options.
Anon
Can you try to see her in person more frequently?
pugsnbourbon
Could she come visit you? It sounds like you live far away so that could be a big trip for her.
If she’s looking at colleges, could you join her on a visit?
Anonymous
+1. My teenager loves solo visits to aunts and uncles she knows well. It may be more awkward for her if you don’t see or speak with her regularly.
Anon
+1 have her come visit you.
Anon
I’m torn about what to do with my 1 BR condo. I refinanced to a 15-year earlier this year. I really like living here, but I feel subtle pressure to get more space, even though I don’t NEED more space (I live alone).
Most of my friends are married with kids so in the last few years everyone has upgraded to nicer, bigger houses and while I don’t want or need that, I do wonder if I should upgrade in my own way to get a nicer condo…
Reasons to stay:
It is very affordable and I can live well below my means here
In a cute neighborhood I love
Walking distance to many friends
Great light
Reasons to move:
Some things I would like to have, like private outdoor space and a second bedroom, will never be possible here
Only one bathroom, which is tiny and annoys me
The finishings are dated
I could redo the kitchen and bathroom but if I’m going to leave in a few years, is it worth it?
Sometimes I find myself wishing I had an extra room to just shove things in and close the door to that isn’t my bedroom
(yes, this is dumb but it is what it is)
What would you do?
Anonymous
Stay, spend 5k on hiring an organizer and doing a refresh.
Anon
Keep what you have, live the life you have and redecorate or refurbish to your current tastes.
test run
For me, “cute neighborhood that I love,” and “great light” are pretty much the most important things to me, so I would personally stick it out and continue to bank money while keeping an eye out for slightly bigger condos in the area. This is basically what my husband and I are doing now – we like our place and our neighborhood, but could use a little more space. I really enjoy being able to keep an eye out for options that would truly be upgrades for what *we* personally want and not being sucked into the stress of really needing a place asap in a crazy market.
pugsnbourbon
+1. Throw money at the things that annoy you (like your little bathroom). I would not leave a neighborhood I loved without a compelling reason.
Anon
Agreed. I bought at the edge of farmland expecting peace and quiet; turns out my next-door neighbor runs a probably-not-legal car flipping business out of his garage and I listen to a metal grinder 12+ hours a day. Cherish a good neighborhood!
Anonymous
If I were you and could afford it while still saving, I’d move.
Anonymous
I’d think long and hard before giving up living in walking distance of many friends. That sounds like gold–far better than a bigger bathroom and a 2nd bedroom.
If I were you, I’d get my financing ducks in order, and then start casually looking for something in my neighborhood. I’d be ready to buy if I came across something, but prepared to stay if I didn’t.
And I’d do at least a basic update to those finishes. You’ll get to enjoy them, and it would help if you sold.
Daffodil
I kept my house in my divorce. It is WAY more space than I actually need, and I never would have bought it if I knew that I would be living here by myself. But, I have zero regrets about keeping it. I have a fenced in yard for my dog to run around, guest rooms for family and friends, and a dedicated office. Especially during the pandemic (and more so pre vaccine), it has been so nice to have the space for people to visit. As you note above, it’s also really nice to have somewhere to store my stuff and not have to look at it. I know I could be saving more if I moved, but have discussed with my financial advisor, and can afford to live here and plan to stay long term.
It seems like your pros of staying relate to location, and not you actual condo. Could you stay in the same neighborhood and find somewhere a bit bigger?
One other consideration – renovating the kitchen and bathroom involve a lot of time / cost / work. I lived in my house during extensive renovations, and would not do so again.
Anon
I’d look around. Prices are sky-high right now, but mortgage rates are low. If you can find something you like and can easily sell your place, go for it. It’s a good time to be a seller.
Senior Attorney
Agree. Also you can get a larger 30-year mortgage for the same payment as the 15-year you currently have! (And with rates this cheap, why not?)
And I don’t know how old you are, but my parents lived in a one-bedroom condo and it turned out to be a real problem when they got to the point that they couldn’t care for themselves, because there was no room for a caregiver. It never hurts to look ahead…
Cornellian
I would stay, and budget a moderate amount of money to update the things that bother you. Maybe if you want a junk room, spending a grand on a professional organizer would be a good use of money. If you can fix things about the bathroom other than the size, spend a few thousand on that. Walking, living near your community and natural light are so important to mental health for a lot of people, and i wouldn’t give that up lightly.
Anon
Hmm well not quite the situation but my first house was a 2br/1ba and having only one bath was driving me crazy. I loved everything else about that house at the time, especially the neighborhood.
I think I bought the house we’re in now just to have another bathroom, but having more space has made me realize how much the lack of space bothered me in the other house. It’s that “second bedroom to store stuff in” thing.
If you’re in a condo there are probably 2br in your same complex. Can you just keep your eyes open for the next one to come onto the market?
Anon
Why do you need a second bathroom if you live alone?
Anon
+1
Anon
Having a bathroom that you can keep all your stuff out in and another that stays cleaner for guests is the dream. Signed, someone else in a one bed one bath condo.
Anon
In your world, people who live alone never, ever have another person cross the threshold?
I posted about my 1 ba house above. It only takes one experience with houseguests and >1 cases of food poisoning to re-thing the wisdom of a single bathroom.
AnonForThis
Shopping help please! I’m doing a secret Santa with girlfriends (mid 30s) with a $40 cap. Help me find something amazing within that budget? The person I’m buying for is child free, does not like to cook, and loves EDM (lol) and going to workout classes.
Senior Attorney
How about the West Elm duck trinket tray that people were talking about here the other day, and a pair of cute holiday earrings to go in it?
Senior Attorney
These are cute: https://www.target.com/p/sugarfix-by-baublebar-holiday-cocoa-stud-earrings-red-white/-/A-83689318#lnk=sametab
anonymous
Maybe a nice, insulated water bottle for the workout class? Comfy socks, a cozy blanket, candles, lotion or bath bombs.
Anon
Got blasted before, but the Aesop hand cream is amazing and packaged luxuriously and right in your budget. Also recommended on Cup of Jo this week . . .
Anon
Do you expect to pay for a follow-up appointment at the salon to fix a hair color issue? I went to my usual stylist this week and the tone came out ashy and dull. I showed her the same inspiration photo that I used at my previous appointment and mentioned it’s the same photo we looked at last time. The only change we discussed was adding more highlights to certain areas. We definitely didn’t talk about changing the tone so the result was a bit of a shock. I didn’t notice how bad it was until I got home though. I mention all this because it’s not that I asked for a new look and didn’t like the results – the colorist did something different than what we discussed. I called the salon and they scheduled me tomorrow with a different stylist because my colorist has no openings. I assume I’ll tip the stylist I work with tomorrow but would you expect the salon to eat the cost of the appointment itself? My original appointment for partial balayage was $285 if that makes a difference. Thanks!
Anon
I think they should eat the appointment cost since it was their mistake.
Senior Attorney
I wouldn’t expect to pay, but I would tip.
Anon
yes this
Anonymous
If you’re going to a different stylist, I think you have to pay. I think if you want to have them fix it, you have to go back to the same stylist.
Anon
doesn’t matter. salon picks up cost. do tip if you are very happy
Anon
Perhaps silly question: We are from the Midwest where everyone uses their garage to park their cars and enter their home through a mud room connected to the garage. It makes a schlepping things and babies into the house very easy, esp during the winter. We are moving to the NYC suburbs and all the houses we’ve seen that have attached garages don’t actually connect into the house, or if they do, go into a basement. Some of the houses are on a slope so there are multiple steps involved to get to the front door or back door and no easy path directly from the garage to the front door.
I understand this is pretty common here and so wondering if there are any logistical tips or tricks for making it work when you’ve got two small kids (one infant) in tow and groceries also? Having never done this, I’m really concerned about the logistics of lugging two kids up and down a driveway and then up a set of stairs to the door, particularly in the winter.
Anon
I have a detached garage and kids and it’s been fine, just a slightly longer walk to get inside. I do carry my two year old to the car sometimes so that he doesn’t get distracted and try to run around in the yard and play. If the garages are attached though it might be worth exploring what it would costs to add a door to the inside.
Anon
You shop around and try not to buy those houses. Or at least that’s what my parents did. Or you make more trips
No Face
I do multiple trips in the winter. Get kids in first, get them a snack or whatever, then get the stuff.
I’m not a fan, but it is what it is.
Anonymous
One of the many reasons why we left the Northeast.
Anon
Help! We moved into our new house yesterday. We had it painted and they finished about a month ago. New floors finished about 1.5 weeks ago. Had the place professionally cleaned but it still smells like paint and it’s making me sick. I literally have the worst headache and just threw up. Tips to get rid of or deal with the odor?
Anonymous
Open all the windows and wear your coat inside if it’s too cold.
Anonymous
That’s really odd. Definitely open all the windows.
Anon
– Turn off your heater/furnace and open as many doors and windows as possible. You may have to put on extra layers of clothing if it’s very cold where you are, but try to leave the doors and windows open for at least an hour or two.
– Put out bowls of white vinegar and/or activated charcoal, in as many rooms of the house as you can.
– You can also try burning unscented candles (unscented is very important; you do not want massive heavy fragrances mixing with the paint smells as that will make your headache exponentially worse). However, what you’re doing at that point is burning the VOCs from the paint and that creates its own set of byproducts that are not very healthy.
– If you don’t already have air purifiers, you can consider buying some but I wouldn’t spend a ton if you don’t think you’ll use them going forward. And also expect it will take a while to filter the odor out of the air. But the purifiers will work overnight when you don’t necessarily want to leave doors/windows open.
– Prioritize odor abatement in your bedroom because you’ll be sleeping in there tonight. Less-used rooms are less important.
Sorry this is happening! I have been there and it sucks. With the tips above it should be substantially better by tomorrow, maybe the day after.
NYCer
Might be hard at this time of year depending on where you live, but can you open all the windows for several hours?
OP
It’s a warm enough climate, and we have big sliding doors with screens both up and downstairs that i opened. All rooms have ceiling fans that are now on. The windows don’t have screens and i don’t know that i want to let in all the bugs but maybe it’s worth it
Anonymous
Obviously you have to open the windows
Go for it
Painters tip:
White vinegar on dinner plates or in shallow bowls should take care of it fairly quick
Place all around the painted rooms (on floors /counters)
Anon
My house was like this when we moved in. We tried vinegar and all the other tricks you’ll find online, but I don’t think any of them made much of a difference, other than keeping the windows open and sliding doors at least cracked 24-7 and running an air purifier with charcoal filters. It took a solid month for the smell to go mostly away and was still faintly detectable for another 2-3 months. I suspect that they didn’t let the paint cure properly (cool, humid coastal climate) and it just took a very long time to off-gas.
OP
Do you have a rec for the air filter? I just opened a bunch of windows but we have two young kids and the windows don’t have screens. Kids aren’t home right now but will have to close wgeh they get home. I have so much unpacking to do but instead have spent the day moving between my bed, the bathroom and outside
Anonymous
Get out! My goodness what is the point of being in bed getting worse
Anon
I agree with the poster above that says not to buy an air purifier if you won’t use it otherwise, but I use mine a lot for allergies and when there are wildfires, so I already had two when we had this paint issue. I don’t think you need to spend a lot, you just want to make sure it’s true HEPA for filtering out particles and for getting rid of smells, you want one that will take charcoal prefilters. We also had extra charcoal filters and we just let those sit out to absorb smell. The ones I have are pretty basic models from Holmes and Honeywell and have held up well for years.
Curious
Rent an industrial fan from Home Depot. And ugh.
Anon
Did they use an oil-based poly on the floor? I would open all the windows as much as possible. If it’s just smell you could rent an ozone machine. I think the floors would be more likely to give you a headache, unless they uses some type of non-standard paint.
Anonymous
You need constant ventilation, a couple of the Coway air purifiers, and to limit your exposure. Go outside as much as you can.
Anon
call the painters and floor people to come and fix. get checked for co2.
get out of house. hotel is worth it!
NZ
Get out of the house now and stay away until the smell subsides, otherwise you’ll become permanently sensitive to all paint/VOC/new carpets and furniture/pesticides etc for the rest of your life. Ask me how I know.
Take your bedding (pillows and doona) with you so they don’t absorb the chemicals in the air.
Hire industrial fans and open all windows.Bugs can be cleaned up later but the paint smell will likely deter them.
Activated charcoal, open boxes of bicarbonate soda and air purifiers will help. You may need to wash curtains in the bedroom if they’ve absorbed the smell.
But don’t stay there while it’s making you so sick.
Anonymous
+1 on staying somewhere else.
Also, get some plants with air purifying skills, like ferns and peace lilys. They help a lot.
Anon
Low stakes question for the weekend. I have some leftover nice truffle salt. What should I do with it other than throw it on popcorn?
Anon
French fries or roasted potatoes, maybe.
Anon
In scrambled eggs? Truffle salted butter for bread/ toast, vegetables or meat?
BelleRose
Light-hearted YouTube recommendation: Morgan Donner just dropped a video where she combines a Victorian split skirt with 2000’s skater jeans and it is giving me LIFE
Senior Attorney
OMG that was great! Thanks!!
Annie Q
I like Uniqlo and have bought a number of things from them. But I find their sweaters have ribbing that is too skinny, making the sweater ride up to my waist and blouse out in a weird way. I’m a size 4 with hips that are not out of proportion, and I have never had this problem with any other brand. So I think Uniqlo sweaters are only for those with very narrow hips.
NZ
Is it the ribbing or is it that it’s made for short waisted types? I find the t-shirts flare out (for the hips) too high on me. I am a big fan of their trousers and their heattech line though.