Money Snapshot: A Tech Marketer Shares Her Thoughts on Health, Retirement, and Travel

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For today’s Money Snapshot, we’re talking salary, net worth, debt, and more with reader Evie in San Francisco, who works as a tech marketer. She noted, “I grew up with a lot of financial anxiety. … I have dreams about winning the lottery and truly believe that more money will solve 99% of my life's problems. It's something I've discussed with my therapist, and however I feel about money now, it's 200% healthier than how I felt 5 or 10 years ago.”

Note: Evie wrote her original Money Snapshot back in 2020 and decided to share this update! (If we published yours and it's been a few years or more, you're welcome to submit a follow-up, too!)

We got a few requests from readers to launch our own “money diary” series, so we’ve asked willing readers to fill out a form with lots of details about debt, spending, saving, and more! If you’d like to fill out the form and be considered for a future personal money snapshot, please click here to submit your response! You can see a PDF of the questions if you want to review them ahead of time. See others in the Personal Money Snapshot series here.

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Please remember that this is is a real person who has feelings and isn’t gaining anything from this, unlike your usual friendly (soul-deadened, thick-skinned, cold-hearted, money-grubbing) blogger — so please be kind with any comments. Thank you! — Kat

Name: Evie
Location: San Francisco
Age: 38
Occupation: Tech marketer
Income: 
$280,000 (80% is base, the rest are bonus and RSUs)
Partner: Spouse, age 37
Household income: $485,000 (W2 income; if you add back the 401(k) contributions, I think we're at $525,000)
Household net worth: 
$2.1M
Net worth when started working: $9,000 in undergrad loans at age 22
Living situation: Own a home

Debt

What does your debt picture look like?
No debt other than mortgage ($625,000). Spouse and I are both quite debt-averse.

How much money are you spending each month to pay down debt?
We only have mortgage debt.

How did you pay for school?
Between us, we have two bachelor’s and two master’s. Undergrad was a mix of grants, loans, and family contribution. My master’s was from my savings, grants, and a $50,000 inheritance from my grandparent. I paid for all $70,000 of partner’s master’s with my earnings. We made it through $220,000 worth of tuition debt-free and I’m very grateful we were able to do so.

Do you own or rent? How much do you pay monthly?
$3,500 a month for mortgage and HOA

If you have children, how much do/did you spend for childcare and/or education?
No children. We do have a fur baby that we pay ~$7,000 a year for in food/toys, vet expenses, and doggie daycare.

If you have any other large expenses each month, please list them here.
No other big monthly expenses. We do allocate over $1,000 a month for property taxes and $400 a month for insurance that includes auto, homeowner, and umbrella, but these expenses are paid twice a year.

Home debt: Share your theories and strategies with us (including any that lead you to rent rather than own). 
We have a 30-year mortgage at 2.75% due to refinancing a couple years ago. I used to pay ahead of schedule when we were at 4%, and in retrospect that was the WRONG decision. Now with inflation 5%+ and our low rate, I don't pay ahead anymore.

Have you ever done anything noteworthy to avoid or lessen debt?
We've rented out a person's illegally converted garage-to-studio with a painted concrete floor and lived with a roommate in our 2-bedroom, 1-bathroom, sub-1,000 sq. ft. condo.

Savings, Investments & Retirement 

How much do you save each month or year in retirement vehicles like 401Ks, Roth IRAs, and others?
For the past 2–3 years we've saved $100,000–$200,000 a year in 401(k), mega backdoor Roth IRA, and brokerage accounts.

How much money do you allocate to other tax-savvy investments/accounts like HSAs, 529s, FSAs, and others?
Not as much as we should, probably, I think we have a total of $5,000 in HSAs and I save around $1,000 a year in a limited dental FSA.

How much do you save outside of retirement accounts?
I do save in a brokerage account and in T-bills (our emergency fund). I have an automatic deposit set up for $1,000 a month, but mostly I look at the money we have coming in and I make $1,000–$5,000 transfers a few times a quarter.

Talk to us about investments. Do you have a financial adviser or planner?
No financial advisor today, although we do have a tax accountant whom we pay $1,000+ a year. I hate doing taxes.

Do you have an end goal for saving or are you just saving for a rainy day?
I want a single-family home in San Francisco or another equally expensive part of California, but I don't know how realistic it is if we ALSO want to retire early.

When did you start saving seriously? How has your savings strategy changed over the years?
I've pretty much been a saver, but it's in the last 2–3 years when I've really kicked retirement savings into high gear. I've always thought if I just maxed out my 401(k), we'd be fine, but I realized that wasn't enough. I've also been much more conservative in the past — for example. I had 30% bonds allocation in my 20s/early 30s!! I could kick myself.

What’s the #1 thing you’re doing to save money, limit spending, or live frugally?
We bought a home that's probably a bit below what we can afford, especially with our current income, so our housing costs are manageable. On the more day-to-day front, I try to cook more at home both for health and cost reasons. Lastly, we do not have kids. That decision is not purely financial, but it does bring with it financial benefits. Although we would need to save more for retirement given that we won't have a child to help with some of the things that I find myself helping my parents with.

Have you ever made a big money move or investment with savings in mind, such as rolling over an older IRA into a Roth IRA or superfunding a 529?
We convert after-tax 401(k) to Roth IRA… does that count?

Do you have an estate plan in place? A trust? 
We do not… but we should. It's on the list of things that I know are important but not urgent…

How much do you have in cash that’s available today?
$10,000

How much do you have in cash that’s available in a week? 
$100,000 — can we take out T-bills?

How much is in your “emergency fund,” and did you include it in the previous question?
$80,000 in T-bills; yes, included in previous question

How much do you have in retirement savings?
$1,650,000 across 401(k), IRAs, and brokerage. This is joint.

How much do you have in long-term investments and savings (CDs, index funds, stocks) that are not behind a retirement wall?
$600,000, but this is included in the $1.65M retirement funds and $100,000 cash

If property values (home, car) are included in your net worth, how much are those worth?
$400,000

Spending 

How much do you spend on the following categories on a monthly basis?

Groceries: $500
Restaurants, bars, takeout, and delivery: 
$600
Clothing and accessories: $100
Transportation:
$100
Rent/living expenses: $3,500
Entertainment: $100
Health care – premiums and other costs: We both have high-deductible health plans. I don't track my health spending too closely, but I recently paid $200 for prescription tretinoin. I've also spent around $600 on dental expenses so far in 2023, which will come out of my limited FSA.
Other major expenses:

The biggest expense we have outside of the mortgage is travel. I target $20,000–$25,000 a year in travel spending, which includes flights/trains and lodging. In 2022 we went on three big overseas trips to Southeast Asia, Europe, and Mexico, and 8–10 weekend getaways in California.

In terms of day-to-day life, I am upping my spend in fitness and exercise — increasing from ~$100 to $400 a month for Pilates, weight training, and dance. I also spend a bit on skincare. My favorite brand is SkinCeuticals: I use their eye cream, vitamin C serum, and Triple Lipid Restore moisturizer, which is $150 for 1.7 oz., and recently turned my spouse on it too. He almost had a heart attack once he found out how much it cost, but he loves the way it feels.

What’s your spending range for these things? What’s your average?

Vacations – Range: $2,000 weekend to $10,000 for a 2-week international vacation
Vacations – Average:
$5,000

Charity – Range of donations: None. I don't donate right now. I'll probably get heat for this but… I just don't right now.
Charity – Average donation or giving amount:
$0

Individual items of clothing – Range: $40–$200
Individual items of clothing – Average:
T-shirt, $30; cashmere sweater, max of $100; shoes, $150. I try to stick with brands I know and trust. I typically buy clothes from Banana Republic Factory, Quince, Boden, and Anthropologie.

Apartment or house – Range: $700–$4,000
Apartment or house – Current main residence: $1.1 million

Car or other vehicle – Range: $20,000
Car or other vehicle – Current main vehicle: $20,000

Any other large personal expenses?
The dog is a big personal expense (see above).

Fill in the blank on this question: I could save _____ if I stopped ______, but I don’t because _______.
I could save $25,000 a year if I cut back on vacations, but I don’t because the deal I made with myself is that as long as we work our corporate America jobs, we can travel wherever we want. Aside from truly big-ticket items like an Antarctica cruise, and as long as we stick to our current style of travel, we're more limited by vacation days than money.

If you're married: When was your wedding, how much did it cost (total), and how much did YOU pay?
Total cost: $7,000 in 2013. My parents gave me $10,000 no strings attached as a wedding gift. We put it in with general savings, but one could argue they paid for it, since money is fungible.

At any point in your life to date, has inheritance played a role in your money situation?
My grandma left me $50,000 which I used for grad school.

How has your family provided financial support in your adult life, if any? (Or, do you provide support to them?)
My parents have given me a lot of financial support. They paid for a big part of my undergrad degree, gave $10,000 for my wedding gift, and gave $100,000 so we could put down a bigger down payment. For a few years after I graduated college, they would give me $500–$1,000 for my birthday. When we go on family vacations, they often pay for lodging and flights.

Does your family provide any non-financial support? 
Sometimes my mom will watch her dog grandchild.

Money Strategy 

Do you have a general money strategy?
It's the same as it was in 2019: Try to work hard enough so I make enough money, but not so hard that I burn out and have to take extended time off. Try to stay as healthy as I can within my control. Invest in index funds. Enter retirement mortgage-free. Do things in the relationship that decreases risk of divorce. Try to be happy today while saving for tomorrow.

Time vs. money — do you spend money to save time (e.g., cleaning service)? Do you donate your time instead of money? What else does this phrase mean to you?
I prioritize flights that are nonstop and I never choose a basic economy fare. We STILL don’t have a cleaning service because I’m afraid once I start I'll never be able to go back. I do really enjoy personal training and small group classes when it comes to fitness, so I suppose I see it as a better use of my time than larger settings or virtual classes even when those are cheaper.

What are your favorite resources for personal finance?
I said in 2019 I don’t read any personal finance blogs or books because they stress me out. That's still overall true. FIRE still stresses me out. I hate the term “side hustle.”

What advice would you give your younger self about personal finance?
Do 90%+ stock allocation for your retirement savings.

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35 Comments

  1. Not trying to give you “heat” for it, but, can you explain why you don’t donate anything to charity?

          1. Right? I’m at approximately 1/10 of OP’s HHI and do my part. Get off your wallet, OP!

      1. Right!? I try not to judge others’ financial situations since I recognize that a lot of it is due to luck and privilege or lack thereof, but I’ll just say it. It’s appalling that you earn >$500k/year, have no debt except your mortgage and give absolutely nothing to charity. There’s no excuse for that.

        1. +1000. What about the arts? Do you donate to NPR? A theater company? Are there no causes you care about?
          Even if you don’t agree with the way some charities are managed, it’s mind-boggling to think that there are none that meet your standards and interests.

        2. I really don’t understand how anyone feels entitled to tell someone else how to spend the money that they earn, and I view donating to charity as a form of spending. I suspect most people give some money at some point to someone or someplace, including the OP, but I don’t think anyone is obligated to on any moral grounds. I always wonder whether those same individuals claiming the moral high ground would take it a step further and advise someone who *could* earn more, that they are obligated to do so in order to redistribute their wealth to others who are, for whatever reason, not in a position to help themselves in that way. Ostensibly that’s what taxes are, at least in part, meant to achieve, but paying taxes doesn’t have quite the same feel-good, morally superior shine to it that donating to charity does. I understand that there is significant income inequality and most people are bound to feel we should take steps to address it, but I’ve never felt the solution is telling people who seem to have more than their “fair share” at a certain point in their lives, that they must give away an undetermined amount to an undisclosed recipient in order to be “good.” I find that level of entitlement to weigh in on other’s choices as appalling as anything else.

          1. One of the arguments the uber-wealthy and their lobbyists used back when income taxes were much higher than they are now is that these folks would direct their newfound tax breaks back into philanthropy. Anyone who wasn’t born yesterday or willfully ignorant knew that wouldn’t be how it would turn out, but it is still a commonly trotted out argument for tax cuts and trickle-down economics in general. It was BS then and it was BS now. If you won’t pay your fair share in philanthropy, then you should be taxed at a much higher rate.

    1. Not this poster but I think most charities are poorly run and don’t donate to them. I’ll help individuals in my life who are struggling instead.

      1. Charity doesn’t just mean giving to an organization. If you help individuals who are struggling that’s charity too.

    2. I’ll supply the heat you asked for. Consider trying to make the world a better place through giving to a cause you care about. Or at least leave your estate to a worthy cause.

    3. She talks about having a lot of anxiety around finances, so I’m sure her inclination is to hold on to everything right now in case it’s famine later. She can always give to charities later. (She also might give to charities but might not think it’s significant enough — I give $2500 or so to charity but it’s a drop in the bucket compared to everything else. No time to research, annoyance at poorly managed charities, so forth.)

      Really curious where, geographically, all of the “you must give to charity” people are from.

      1. She specifically said she gives nothing to charity. That would be a weird answer if she gave “only” $2,500 (which is not a drop in the bucket to me and many other people!)

      2. I was raised non-religious in the Midwest (mentioning religion because I know many religions have teachings about charity). Charitable giving wasn’t really a big part of my childhood. My mom took me shopping for Toys for Tots sometimes, but I don’t think my parents gave a huge amount of money away and I don’t recall ever being told I “had” to give to charity. It just seems horrible to me not to do it – my HHI is less than a third of OP’s but we have everything we need and most of what we want, so why wouldn’t we share it?

        I think it’s fine to save the bulk of your charitable giving for end of life, and that’s my plan too, but it seems so weird to me to never give *any* money away, especially on that kind of income. I can see how it would be different if you’re making five figure gifts, but for me charity is not something that requires “research.” I just give away small sums of money (<$100) to various causes as they pop up, and there's no shortage of causes I would love to support – scholarship funds at my kids' schools and former daycare, the local university's arts program, local women's and animal shelters, etc etc. I'll give $25 to any friend or acquaintance who's fund-raising for anything, unless it's a cause I'm morally opposed to. It's not a lot to any one organization, but it adds up, and it's important to me that my young kids see us giving money away now, even though there will be hopefully much bigger charitable gifts in our will. We also do matching donations if kids want to donate any of their allowance, which is an idea I got from the moms' page.

      3. I’m in a VHCOL area and I have ALWAYS given a significant-to-me amount to all kinds of charities, ranging from international organizations to national charities, to local programs, to down-on-their luck individuals. It makes me feel amazing, it makes me feel connected with others, and I consider it (giving an amount north of zero) a necessary component of being a decent human being. Sorry, but I do.

      4. I am east coast and don’t think people have to give money to charity. I do give money, but I give a lot more time. No one asked the posted about whether she volunteered because it’s a money diary. Maybe she does, maybe she doesn’t eh. I care more about whether billionaires are giving away the majority of their money that this one person.

        1. I don’t give a lot for my income level and lack of children, partly due to money anxiety (like OP), but also because with compounding I should have a lot more to give late in life than now if I hold off on larger donations. Said another way, I could give $100 today, or wait thirty years and invest and give ten times as much. I hope to leave a lot to charities when I pass away, which minimizes my money anxiety. In the meantime I donate small amounts to friends and family fundraisers, help out people close to me who need it, and learn what charities will be able to do the most with my future gift. Remember, OP doesn’t have kids either so I’d guess she plans to leave some of her estate to charity and that takes away from the urgency of small donations now.

    4. One illness or disability-causing event can bankrupt an entire extended family in these United States. That is why I don’t donate nearly as much as I’d like.

      As an example, one million dollars is only 5 years of memory care in this country. I’ve already spent that on my mom (not even 5-star care), and I might need to spend it on my dad. If I need to spend it on myself, I probably will not have it – despite diligent saving.

      At $10M net worth I would start to feel flush enough to start donating more than I do.

      1. Thanks for sharing this reason. I can’t say that I agree, but I can understand your POV. Perhaps if saving $10M were possible in my chosen career, I may feel similar to you and give more once that number is saved.

        With all due respect to the OP, I do think she should be giving *something* even if something like what you said is the reason if she is spending upwards of $20K on travel. I know, not my money not my decision. I don’t think she’s legally obligated. But similar to what Senior Attorney above, I do think some level of giving back, whether that is financial or otherwise (but especially financial if you have extensive financial resources) is part of being a good person.

        1. I fully agree. I saw my grandmother go through millions during the decade that she had severe dementia but was physically healthy. Memory care is incredibly expensive, and pretty much impossible to insure against. But you don’t eliminate charity and spend $25k/year on travel. If your travel budget is that big, you can be throwing a couple grand at charities. And I say that as someone who spends the majority of my discretionary income on travel.

  2. You’re doing great. Nice job!

    But I would totally encourage you to start paying for a housecleaner.
    Remember how valuable your time is worth.
    Just try once a month.
    You can totally afford it.
    Time is our most limited resource.
    I’m surprised you would pay for personal training before paying for house cleaner, but you can afford that too. And I am a huge fan in investing as much $$ as you want into your health and happiness, once you are on a good financial path… which you are.

    It still stuns me how much money young people “can” make in tech related jobs.
    So different from my generation and my career path.

    1. That’s not typical. The market for new grads in computer science is TOUGH right now. I’m about to graduate (Masters) into it and have lined up a job offer that pays over $50k/year but also involves moving a long distance. It’s more than I’ve ever made and is at least a job. Many of my other classmates don’t have jobs lined up yet.

      1. Agreed, this isn’t typical. These astronomical salaries are mostly in the Bay Area and even there mainly for a few prestige companies (Meta, Apple, Facebook). The majority of engineering/CS grads earn a good living, but not $250k+ right out of school.

        1. Right now there are enough early-career (but with a few years of experience) people being laid off and slotting into roles that would normally go to new grads that it’s making it REALLY hard to get hired with no experience beyond an internship or non-programming/cs employment. My classmates who aren’t US citizens have it even worse.

  3. I feel like this is the “road not taken” money diary for me. I’m also 38, also in marketing and used to live in the Bay Area…but now I work in higher ed in the middle of nowhere and make less than $60k. So basically the opposite path of OP haha.
    But yes, get the cleaning service! You can easily afford it and it’s totally standard for dual professional couples, even ones (like my household) that earn a LOT less than you.

  4. I don’t think having a child would save you anything in retirement unless you are imagining that the child would give up his or her job and life to provide hands-on caregiving, which is not a fair expectation.

    1. Yeah, that was puzzling to me to. I consider myself really close to my parents and they are also very physically close to me (they moved to me, with my enthusiastic consent), but I don’t think I’ve saved them any money and I don’t see how I will in the future. When they eventually need nursing care, they’ll live in assisted living and pay for additional caregivers as needed. They have plenty of money, and I have a job and kids and can’t give up my own life to take care of them. Nor would they want me too! Of course I’ll visit them and be a source of emotional support, but that doesn’t save them any money.

    2. Kids are a retirement support for a generation, not for an individual. The person who grows up to be an oncologist, a plumber, a farmer, or a chef helps the current generation to have a comfortable retirement. It is the human equivalent of saving, but it accrues to a generation, not to an individual.

    3. there are steps between fully independent living and having a full time caregiver. in the last few years of her life, my grandmother remained in her own home, and did many things independently, but my mother and aunt often brought her dinner, helped her with things like yard work and taking out the trash, and taking her to medical appointments. all of those things would have cost money to hire someone to handle.

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