Frugal Friday’s Workwear Report: Sculptural Sweater Knit Skirt
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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
Scoop NYC was a major shopping destination for me in the early aughts. I thought it was gone forever, but was pleasantly surprised to see that there is a Scoop line available at Walmart, with Brandon Maxwell as the creative director.
One of my favorite items from the Fall capsule collection was this sweater knit midi skirt, which has a great A-line shape and with a 24” inseam, is a slightly below-the-knee length on me. This would be a great swingy skirt for early fall, but will also pair nicely with tights and boots when the weather gets colder.
The skirt is $26 at Walmart and comes in sizes XS-4X.
Sales of note for 9/5/25
- Nordstrom – Summer sale has started, up to 60% off top brands
- Ann Taylor – Friends of Ann Event: 30% off your entire purchase, including new arrivals
- Anthropologie – 30% off clothing and accessories
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- J.Crew – Everyday styles from $34.50 — see our full roundup of what to buy for work at J.Crew
- J.Crew Factory – 50% off fall faves + extra 60% off clearance
- L.K. Bennett – 20% off all new-season
- Nordstrom Rack – Season Closeout: extra 40% off select clearance dresses, sandals, shorts, and swimwear(ends 9/11)
- Rothy's – Up to 50% off last-chance sales
- Soma – 5 panties for $39 + 35% off 3+ styles + buy 2 get 3 free panties — readers love these PJs and these no-VPL panties
- Talbots – 25-40% off select fall styles + extra 30% all markdowns — here are all the reader favorites at Talbots
- White House Black Market – 50% off all sale styles (ends 9/5)
I need a wardrobe refresh and specifically I need something to wear on the sidelines of the 250484357345 sporting events for my kids that I have over the next 8 weeks. I’m tall, a size ~10-12, size 10 or 11 shoe. Temps will range from 35 and frosty to 80 and sunny because it’s that time of year around here. Some sideline moms make athleisure work. I am okay with that but I’m not super thin and would want to be wearing layers. I prefer no jeans but could make the right ones work. I absolutely need layers (see: Friday night football game when it’s chilly, 7am soccer game Saturday in 40 degree weather and a 2pm baseball game where the sun will be blasting and it will be nearly 80. Other kid has soccer practice in between).
WHat would you wear?
If you don’t want athleisure or jeans, what would you prefer?
No jeans, no athleisure…you’re thinking chinos? Dresses?
+1. I feel like I only wear jeans (or jean shorts) or athleisure to my kids sporting events. Not sure what else to suggest.
That actually sounds so fun to dress for, I love cozy layers.
I was just looking at Addison Bay, I love the colorful pink/maroon stripes on these pullovers:
https://addisonbay.com/products/bainbridge-quater-zip
https://addisonbay.com/products/the-everyday-pullover-sweatshirt
Every year I think about buying this Free People fleece: https://www.freepeople.com/fpmovement/shop/hit-the-slopes-fleece-jacket/
I love the print on this Boden fleece, and they tend to have fun jackets too: https://us.boden.com/products/westminster-borg-jacket-hazelnut-brown-leaping-tiger
I’ve been seeing this JCrew barn jacket all over social media, it’s cute and long enough for butt coverage: https://www.jcrew.com/p/womens/categories/clothing/coats-and-jackets/barn-jacket/relaxed-barn-jackettrade-in-denim/CN051
If your style is more polished, look at Varley.
And lastly, I love BeyondYoga for leggings and tanks. And something about a bootcut makes me feel less exposed: https://beyondyoga.com/products/spacedye-high-waisted-practice-pocket-bootcut-pant-midnight-burgundy-heather
https://beyondyoga.com/products/featherweight-rebalanced-tank-cloud-white-lwsd4612
i would wear jeans or atheleisure and i think that’s probably the two most common things moms wear on the weekends. if you don’t want to wear jeans you could do chinos or cords, unless you don’t want to wear pants? I wear cute sneakers, jeans, a tshirt, a sweater, cute light weight jacket
As someone who doesn’t wear jeans much (1 regular thickness pair, 1 chambray pair for summer), I agree on chinos and cords. The upside is that they come in many colors! Also, long underwear helps a lot.
I mean, I would find a way to opt out of attending 2 games and a practice on a Saturday. Is your partner involved? Do your kids have friends in their sports they can get rides with? This can’t all be on you, and you can’t solve a time problem with the perfect wardrobe.
+1 even if you don’t have a partner can’t you find a carpool? You don’t have to be at every single game, let alone practice.
YMMV, but I do like to go to all the kids’ games. I don’t go to practices except at the rink (23 minutes away and the practice is only an hour). For non-school sports it’s difficult to find carpools since everyone is coming from different towns.
OP might like going to the games!
Right! These are actually fun to be at.
I’m not saying don’t go to any games, I’m saying don’t go to every single practice and game every weekend.
Maybe she likes going to those things though! I have kids, and I love going to their sporting activities on the weekends.
Objection, non responsive. And judgmental.
OP – my kids have eight bajillion activities too, and I like watching as much of it as possible and looking cute while doing so. I am no help to you though, as I am almost always in either my work clothes, or athleisure.
She didn’t say she had a time problem. I personally love going to my kids sporting events; it is one of my favorite things about this chapter of life.
Sanctuary pants for the win. They aren’t jeans and aren’t athleisure.
I am your size in an area with the same temperature fluctuations this time of year, and everyone I see is in athleisure at various price points depending on budget. Regular leggings/fleece-lined leggings, joggers, t-shirts, hoodies/zip-ups, fleece jacket, puffy vest, with a puffer jacket/rain jacket/baseball cap/beanie/gloves/blanket in the car. Put on/take off layers as needed throughout the day. The options Anon linked above are very cute, for a put-together look, although all the parents in my area are usually dressed in some type of plain/basic athletic pant/t-shirt/hoodie situation. Our family does a lot of hockey and soccer, so in the summer the layers in the car are key!
This is what athleisure is for. Just layer on a sweatshirt/jacket and remove as necessary.
Marine Layer makes some ridiculously warm and cozy sweaters. Maybe take a spin around their site for ideas?
The Allison pant could be an option, though I find ML to run a bit small for bottoms.
I wear athleisure. Athleta joggers (NB: these are probably not on trend, maybe leggings better?) or wide leg pants. I wear non-cute (Altra) sneakers. On top: t-shirt, then cute sweatshirt, then light jacket (LL Bean packable primaloft), then another down jacket in the car, plus a fleece blanket for cold stadium/rink/etc. My main priorities are (1) comfort and (2) temperature, so YMMV, but I don’t really care about looking like a fashion plate.
When it gets colder in the winter in the rink, I wear 2 pairs of pants (leggings plus fleece pants) or super thick lined pants, heattech, heavy sweatshirt, and parka (often I use this as a blanket).
Add me to list of people trying to figure out if leggings are back in and joggers are out.
lol I just read they’re both out and wide leg sweats are in…
Jeans. Shirts.
You have to focus on temperature and comfort. I like fleece-lined leggings or yoga pants for chillier days. Consider getting some silk or thermal tanks that you can wear under longer sleeves. I also really like the Columbia omni-heat jackets – they have a reflective lining to hold in your body heat without a lot of extra bulk. Wool accessories like hats and scarves will help too, and are easy to shed when it warms up.
(Now if someone could just find a good portable seat for the bleachers that are so hard on my back….)
Depending on the bleacher/camp chair situation, maybe consider a reflective sit pad (they have a shiny coating, that looks something like those emergency mylar space blankets) and/or a folded up blanket to sit on (you want something that insulates even when compressed – wool, not down). Just like winter camping, at some point your sleeping pad insulation matters more than your bag; so if you want to wear less bulky insulating clothes, consider insulating your seat.
Fleece-lined yoga pants for the win! I got these at Amazon and they have been real workhorses in cold weather: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0D9Q8QTH5?ref_=ppx_hzsearch_conn_dt_b_fed_asin_title_3&th=1&psc=1
I’d be wearing jeans or athleisure! Since you’re OK with athleisure but commented that you’re not superthin, I’m guessing you’re reacting to the leggings/spandex look? You can wear joggers or some other kind of pants if you don’t want skin tight items. (It also dismays me that someone who is tall and a 10/12 in size would be concerned about not being ‘thin.’)
For real. Short size 18 here and I’m rocking athleisure whenever and however I want!
Love this.
I had the same reaction. I am tall and would give anything to be back in my 10/12 pants.
I would wear athleisure layers to the morning and evening games and bail out of the mid-afternoon game. Baking in the sun in 80+ degree weather isn’t my idea of a good time.
I’m not a fan of jeans either. I like Boden cords; you might look there to see what they have that might work for you. They would be good with some of the revival sneakers in fall colors, and switching to casual boots like the hiking inspired leather boots. Layering tees with sweaters or fleeces now, and then switching to turtles.
I wear sneakers, long jeans or light chino-style pants in gray or khakis, t-shirt in team color or name if possible, I bring a chambray or denim button-up, I bring the Consulting Vest, I have a warmer coat in the car, I wear sunglasses and a baseball hat and I put my hair in a ponytail through the hat. I am Not Cute but I am having fun – I love attending my kids games and I know if you don’t like the weather – wait a minute. Sure it will be 80 from 2-3:30 but from 5-6:30 it will get cooler VERY quickly.
Depends where you live. In a dry climate like CA, yes. In a humid climate temps don’t drop that quickly and at this time of year either sunset still after 8 pm, 5-6 pm is often the hottest time of day.
*with sunset
I like dudley stephens for nicer looking tops for these things once it gets colder. Vests are also a staple for me in variable fall weather.
Pants are a continuous PITA for me, but Vuori’s joggers and straight leg pants and Marine layer’s pants are both great though pricey. I haven’t tried Varley yet but everyone I know who has raves about it.
I have been wearing Uniqlo Airism joggers and a fun graphic sweatshirt or quarter zip lately when I want to be weekend comfortable. I’ll add a puffer vest (again, Uniqlo) and a cute beanie when I need more warmth.
We are living the same life! I’m wearing Old Navy, Athleta and Popflex Active. I buy the Athleta and Popflex used, mainly from poshmark. I add a layer to my top based on temperature.
My bottoms: Old navy power soft legging, Popflex (Blogilates for the Target version) wide leg sweat pants, Athleta joggers or wide leg sweats.
Top, first layer: Old navy powersoft longline sports bra or miscellaneous tank top that I’ve bought at thrift stores over the years
Top, second layer: Popflex perfect long sleeve top (excellent for hiding my bulging belly at the moment), or one of my husbands flannel button down shirts
Top, third layer: old fleece, Popflex cloud hoodie, or Popflex/Blogilates half zip cropped hoodie.
There’s a wide range to athleisure. I don’t find Vuori joggers to be particularly flattering (on me), so I prefer the Venice jogger from Athleta that looks more like normal pants. Usually throw on a tee, hoodie or fleece (the Aviator Nation zip up is convenient), and Sambas. A knit cap, parka and Uggs can add additional warmth. When it hits 80 maybe you can switch the jogger for a sports skirt in your car?
Don’t overthink it. Literally everyone will be in athleisure or jeans. Layer according to the weather. I get cold when I’m standing in one place instead of moving around, so bring an extra jacket to wear over a sweatshirt, for example.
silk long johns will let you wear any pant – they block the wind!!
otherwise i feel like this kind of wide leg is in – the WSJ just had an article about how leggings are totally out (meh) and everyone wants to look like julia stiles in save the last dance – wide pants, tiny top.
https://athleta.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=587869022&vid=1#pdp-page-content
https://www.nordstrom.com/s/ultrasoft-knit-high-waist-straight-leg-pants/8036336?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FAll%20Results&color=001
I really like Sweaty Betty and Costco for sweatshirts.
maybe layered with a vest?
I wear the Old Navy OG high-rise chinos a lot as my casual pants. I would wear those with some sort of shirt. You can pop a sweater or pull over over. I like the Amazon Essentials zip-front hoodie because it comes in a lot of colors.
For games instead of practices, I would definitely try to incorporate the team colors into my top.
I probably get some sneakers to complete the outfit because climbing bleachers in any other kind of shoe is not that fun.
I like Athleta endless pants. They are athleisure but not tight leggings. I also have some hiking pants from LL Bean that are pretty warm and easy to move around in but real pants with pockets, a fly, etc.
Going to a wedding soon so looking for a comfortable heel over 2” – better if it’s fancy but I’ll take a basic solid too. Thanks in advance!
Closed toe, sandal, indoors/outdoors, details of your outfit?
These are cute and come in a million colors: https://www.aerosoles.com/products/camera-teal-suede-platform-sandals
Great recommendation. I wore these to a wedding a couple of weeks ago and they’re super comfortable. It’s a great open toe option!
If sandal as opposed to closed toe is ok, I have these in two colors, one of which I originally got to wear as a bridesmaid for a wedding. Unexciting but comfortable: https://www.naturalizer.com/product/womens-vera-dress-sandal-3019511/rose-gold-ec0239810
ooh, these both look great! sandals might be ok – wedding is in early october. haven’t decided what i’m wearing yet, lots on order. i’m short and heavy though so i definitely need some height to make any dress work.
Love these sandals. Have worn them to multiple events and they were comfy. I have a bad ankle so heels are tough for me and these are the only ones I wear to events.
https://www.vionicshoes.com/chardonnay-heeled-sandal.html?color=1581
Someone last night mentioned a perimenopause ear itch. I’m 42 and my ears have started itching in a noticeable way. Can you tell me more? Googling gave me all sorts of stuff. I have a doctors appointment at the end of the month because I feel like my body is revolting in wierd ways, but if it’s all normal I might calm down.
I’d keep the appointment; if your estrogen is really that low at 42, they may want to do something about it. Or it’s one of the other things you looked up!
Try looking at wardrobe oxygen, she had an article about itching ears and perimenopause a while back. Spoiler alert: it was due to dryness caused by hormonal changes, and she used … i think … hawthorn oil as a supplement.
I can confirm this is a peri symptom for me. The itch is way way way deep in the ear for me. No meds help for this symptom but I take Duavee and Premarin for other symptom relief.
When I cleaned my airpods with alcohol mine went away.
Confirmed. Had it too! Tried supplements without success. Getting on birth control pill helped most along with improvement in sleep. I am early 50s but the ear itch was one of the first symptoms
My husband is definitely not in perimenopause but he has itchy inner ears too. His dermatologist gave him some sort of prescription of cream he puts in there every other day.
Dry eyes and itchy ears can be a peri/menopause thing. Taking fish oil has helped my eyes but it took several months and yes the Wardrobe Oxygen lady recommended sea buckthorn oil for the ears. Fun times.
I use baby oil, on the advice of my doctor when I was having problems with earwax. I figure if it’s okay for that, it’s okay for itchiness.
I tried sea buckthorn supplements, but they wreaked havoc with my BP and gave me heart palpitations. Just something to be aware of.
For those of you who are in-house attorneys, how does your team distribute work? We have a small team (3 regular lawyers and a high-level exec leader) for a very big company. We have a few areas that we each tend to work, but it’s often pretty haphazard and a lot of questions just sort of come in to the person the questioner happens to know, or the exec leader gets a question and just says “someone take this.” I’m the most senior of the regulars (and trying to advance), so I figure it’s my responsibility to make sure it works well, but we’ve got a legacy of being pretty insular and undefined, so I’m looking for ideas of how it works for others.
I’d work backwards from the issue you want to fix and design a strategy from there.
Is everyone a generalist, preventing people from gaining deep knowledge in critical areas and not providing sophisticated enough guidance? Create subject matter experts and route people accordingly
Are some people slammed while others are busy? If so create better internal projecting tracking so leaders and periodically review and reassign work.
I would shy away from just going ahead and creating like an elaborate matter in take form for internal stakeholders without clearly having a defined problem to solve for.
I would not assume it’s your responsibility to make sure it works well. You and your 2 counterparts are equals, regardless of your seniority or desire to advance. If you think something is broken, I would work with your 2 counterparts to come up with a solution to fix it. (Maybe I am misreading the fact pattern?)
Similar team, similar issues, constantly discussing ways to “fix” it but it’s a moving target.
What color manicure should I get for a work conference next week? Tech in house counsel.
I have been doing white over and over again this year. It’s my favorite look right now.
Burgundy is having a moment, and I feel like it’s both seasonal and very work-appropriate!
Currently wearing OPI Verde Nice To Meet You, which is a light to medium jade color. I like it a lot. It doesn’t seem too unusual even though it’s green because it’s not a bold color.
My go to this year has been fire engine red.
Last month I did chrome over milky white and I liked that a lot and did it twice in a row.
Skiers – where are you skiing this year and what are you looking forward to? We finally got it together to schedule a few nights in Tahoe over Christmas week and since we will have a baby in tow, we’re considering trying some of the lower-priced old-school family resorts for a few hours here and there. Then thinking about Steamboat, but probably next year. Last time I skied was right before I found out I was pregnant, so really looking forward to it.
We’re east coast and kids are too young to invest in going west, but excited for spring break at Stowe!
Stowe is supposed to be SO fun. Have a great time!!
June Mountain is fun with kids and won’t bust your budget. There are some adorable little cabins in town.
OP here and June is definitely on my radar – any recs for a specific cabin or neighborhood? Booking lodging is always the pain point for us.
Oh fun! We are not really skiers as we did our first trip last spring break, but as everyone on this board promised me, we LOVED it, and want to go again over Christmas. We are looking at Sun Valley, which promises to be good on holiday spirit and snow. So this is probably not helpful for you, and I’m sorry to jack your thread, but I am mostly just excited that I am now a skier! :)
This is exactly what this thread is for!! I love Sun Valley (I spent summers with family there for over a decade) – you will LOVE it. It’s on my list for skiing with the baby too.
So glad you tried it and loved it!
We’re going back to Park City for spring break. Hopefully this year i actually get to go as last year one kiddo got the flu so she and I had to stay home
I’m not a skiier but have heard great things about skiing in Europe. Apparently the resorts are cheaper there so even with the international plane tickets it can be more affordable than a trip out west. Maybe not with a baby, but something to keep in mind for the future.
We definitely want to do that – I’d love to go to Austria in particular.
+1, the Dolomites are on my list for this!
Can any Millennial ‘rettes weigh in on workplace socializing and bonding preferences? I work in a government/non profit job where I have many colleagues who have the same, relatively high responsibility, job, but whose ages and experience levels vary widely. We used to be a largely Boomer and Gen-X group, but after many post-Covid retirements we lean more Gen-X and Millennial. (I’m an older Gen-X’er.) At a recent work meeting many of our younger colleagues expressed that they feel adrift and not connected to their colleagues. However we often sponsor social events to try to connect – of the typical meet after work for a drink or holiday gathering w/ apps and drinks variety – and our younger colleagues tend not to come. What’s the best way to engage this group – more of whom have young kids than in the past, and many of whom don’t view work socializing as a strategy to connect with colleagues? We are really worried about the lack of connection!
Do it over lunch. Have an event during working hours and don’t make people charge vacation to attend it.
+1 to ‘during lunch’
My company also holds days of service twice a year. They’re held during working hours and we typically do breakfast, a team building activity, some sort of community work (food bank, packing donations, teaching/tutoring local school kids, etc.) with a happy hour at 2-3pm afterwards. Those are very well receieved.
What about work lunches? 2 hours and booked as an official ‘meeting’ in everyone’s calendars? Then it doesn’t impede personal time
Can you do these during work hours at all? I felt like very few of my supervisors understood just how hard the hours of 4-8pm are for working parents – pickup, homework, snacks, sports, family dinner, bedtime, etc. If I managed to buy any personal time during that evening it’s likely to be spent on exercise or personal admin, not a work happy hour.
Alternately, my local office has had a lot of luck sponsoring family friendly weekend outings. Nothing crazy, think a company lunch at a park with a food truck, apple picking, tickets to circus/festivals with a company sponsored table/tent. I’m also happy to do lunchtime book clubs, lunch and learns, or something else that’s a low-lift in terms of timing.
I would gladly attend a lunchtime book club (and read the book) but this post is right. If I somehow manage free time in the after work hours (unlikely with a baby), it’s probably just 20 minutes and I’m going to go for a walk. I live 80 mins from work.
Elder millennial here (40s). +1M to doing these during the workday. Lunch out, or have the happy hour be 4-5.
Yeah, I have young kids and there’s nothing that will convince me to go to a happy hour. I find it difficult to network for this reason as there are a lot of professional groups that default to this!
All my best work friendships made when I was younger were formed over lunches and coffee breaks anyways.
IME people need to feel at least a budding connection with co-workers before they are excited to invest time in social activities outside of work hours. Hanging out with people you know and like at least a little bit is much more enticing than a chance to spend more time with coworkers you have no connection to, so that opportunity isn’t taken advantage of and connections aren’t made. This is especially true for people with kids, where a post-work HH or activity means real logistical hurdles. I agree with other commenters saying do more stuff during work hours. In addition to lunches, I’d see if you can make more of an effort to engage coworkers on a personal level informally – see if they want to grab coffee, ask them how they are doing and care about the response, ask about their upcoming/recent vacation and care about the response, etc. These are those “casual, spontaneous, informal interactions” that are supposedly so valuable they justify RTO policies….
Lunch. Breakfast. Things during the day.
we’ve been more successful with a happy hour at 4 on a Tuesday. People with kids can still jet at 5 to do daycare pickup.
Afterschool activities and kid shuttling usually starts more like 4 pm.
Not for people who are working 9-5 jobs. They’ve already figure out that timing
Most salaried jobs are not strictly 9-5, especially post-pandemic. You have to put in 8-9 hours a day and you have to mostly work during normal business hours, but it’s very normal for parents of K-12 kids to start work more like 7-7:30 and sign off by 4. At least temporarily to do the after school activity run.
If I’m reading your post correctly, there is a large group spanning generations with the same role. I’m guessing that the younger ones who feel disconnected are junior in terms of longevity if not title, and also that there isn’t a lot of room for advancement, since the influx is due to retirements. So the solution is less about purely social events (as much as a work event is ever social) and more about work events with socializing built in.
Can you carve out time for a full-day strategy retreat? Break the group up into teams and work on organizational goals or priorities together. Make sure that each team has both senior and junior members, and build in enough open time that people can really talk to each other. Provide lunch if you have the budget, and maybe include a not-too-cringey teambuilding exercise at the beginning or end of the session.
Do they view the lack of connection as a problem? I would answer in the affirmative that I’m not connected to my colleagues but I also don’t really see it as a problem to be solved – they’re my colleagues, not my friends. That said, +1 on lunchtime events if you want to increase attendance. Anything after work is really tough with young kids at home, and I would skip it unless I was told it was mandatory.
We’ve had good luck with “coffee break” type gatherings, often first thing in the morning. The sponsoring group provides coffee, hot water for tea, and pastries/fruit. Have some sort of a very easy get-to-know-you question that will facilitate chatting – for example, nametags with their favorite breakfast food on it.
Yes! This works well as an afternoon event as well. My company used to do this weekly on Wednesdays.
My office used to do breakfast socials and they were always well received. Breakfast burritos (cut in thirds) for the win!!
My company used to sponsor an afternoon coffee break every Wednesday. Teams would take turns purchasing nice food and coffee for everyone, and people were encouraged to hang out together in a conference room. It was well attended by all age groups and people loved it. I enjoyed getting to know people in different departments as well.
This is a great idea.
At my firm we have had good results with facilitating smaller group connections, rather than larger events. For example, each quarter, we shift around “cohorts” which are led by a shareholder, who is then responsible for taking the small group to lunch. It facilitates one on one interaction and gives associates an opportunity to ask questions, and somewhat forces people to interact, even with our grumpy partners. Maybe you could look at something like that.
We have a lot of “clubs” both official and unofficial in my office. Book club (during the day), a running club (some people run during the day together, but mostly we sign up for races together through the year), a music club (Teams chat, people coordinating going to concerts together), a mentoring group, a crafting group, a gaming group, a movie club, etc.
Lots of people get lunch together or coffee or take walks.
We have some happy hours, but not as many as I’d like. Because we don’t have them often, the parents do come for 1 drink then they head out.
I’m a young millennial, and these efforts are driven by both millennials and Gen X.
Our employee engagement council (all volunteers with more than full time jobs) does a great job. Biweekly meetings, a quarterly lunch time event, plus other things.
Leadership is extremely supportive, it’s actually required to participate in something each year.
Anyone feel like all the responses saying do things during the day will be ignored (not necessarily due to OP, but her leadership team) and the company will continue to wring its hands and say millennials just don’t want to socialize and everyone better RTO?
OP here – I really appreciate all of the comments, and I’m sorry I haven’t responded earlier. I was tied up. And that goes to a problem we have – lunches are possible, but we’re actually government workers who can’t take time off for a social or networking event during the day. We’d wind up in the papers. We sort of have “leadership,” but they’re not focused on solving this problem. You’ve all given me some good food for thought though.
You can absolutely have team building events during the day in government.
Really? My partner is a career federal government worker, and they seem to have these kinds of teambuilding activities all the time in all of the agencies he’s been in. Like weekly.
Is that really true, though? Granted, I’m in public higher ed, but I would say 90% of our group things, social events included, happen during the workday.
Sadly it is. We have a public facing, very scheduled role.
My former workplace had a lunchtime walking club.
I’m a Xennial with older kids who are not old enough to drive. I flat-out won’t go to happy hours or anything scheduled between 4-8 p.m. unless it’s an actual work requirement, not just a nice social thing to do. Afternoons and evenings are hard enough without adding another thing into the mix, and yes, my partner is fully capable and does his share. If you want people to show up, make it during the work day.
But also, I would caution you that social events alone are not going to help people connect. What are there actual working relationships like? I know that when I feel close to my colleagues, I will go the extra mile to make a social thing work if I need to. If I don’t, and our relationships feel very transactional, you do not get my time after work.
Also a Xennial and everyone in my company seems to forget that teens/tweens can’t drive yet! Yes I know I have ‘older’ kids so I have more flexibility but I still need to shuttle them to sports and practices, and no I can’t just stick them in an uber. Ugh.
A lot of older folks simply stopped parenting their kids once they turned 10 and could reasonably survive alone.
Eh I think it’s more that kids do a ton more activities today. In the 1990s kids mostly had activities that were in the school building or they rode the bus home and bummed around the neighborhood with friends. Today they’re more likely to need to be driven by their parents to activities that aren’t near home or school.
OP here, and I think it’s partly that, plus the increase in activities. I find myself thinking “Oh grow up – if you want to be connected then you have to make an effort sometimes yourself and come to things.” (To be clear, the younger members of our team are expressing a desire for more connection.) But then I realize I sound like the grouchy Boomers when they talked about us Gen-Xers 20 years ago, and I want to do better.
When you’re asking them to do something that occurs outside of working hours and that interferes with responsibilities to others, that’s not the right attitude. It’s just not. Strive for more connection during the workday, which will probably make people more inclined to do stuff after work. Would you rather make a huge effort to spend time with colleagues you know and like or with colleagues you don’t feel connected to?
And carpooling is not always an option, so don’t assume I haven’t thought of that already. (major eyeroll)
I think the post-work HH culture is from a time when a lot of men had stay at home wives, and/or there was more of an expectation that those of us who didn’t have that support would silently figure out a way to make it work and show up. Even 10 years ago, our kids were expected to be more invisible. It’s great that we don’t have to “hide” our family obligations as much anymore.
This. My oldest is now 15. When he was itty-bitty, I would stay quiet even though I was screaming inside, try to make it work, and make every effort to show up. I also happened to be connected to my colleagues at that time, but mostly I showed up because I was “supposed” to. Now? My family obligations come first, and I no longer apologize for that. The pandemic changed me, honestly. And, I don’t get these years back. I WANT to be with my kids.
OP and I agree entirely with all of this.
Agree so much with anon at 12:29pm.
Elder millennial here. I don’t mind the socialization / teambuilding events, but they aren’t really where I build rapport with my colleagues. That happens in the day to day interactions, whether they be in person or remote. Are the older/more senior people making an effort to connect with the younger/newer employees outside of structured events? Asking them if they want to grab a coffee or lunch outside of a structured event? Do you pop into coworkers’ offices just to say hi and chat for a couple minutes? When you start a teams meeting, do you spend a minute catching up before diving into business?
I don’t think this issue is necessarily a generational thing, by the way. I think it’s more of a post-Covid thing where I think people have cut back a bit in investing in relationships with colleagues. As a more senior person perhaps you could help influence the culture in your office to one that is more friendly and interactive.
Totally agree with this take on the casual interactions that lead to friendly coworker relationships.
Frye is flooding my SM feeds. Something like a Campus 14 is still current for a business casual office (that is very casual)? Or just weekends? I feel like I need a heeled boot for pants that have a fuller leg but want a chunkier heel like these have. SEUS if that matters.
I love my Fryes, have had them for more than a decade. But I don’t love them for work because the shaft feels a bit wide to work comfortably with pants.
those are what I see 20somethings wearing with cutoffs to go to concerts, not with business casual.
Fryes are cool, but I cannot see them as office shoes, even in a fairly casual one.
I do wear them as office wear (usually over tights w a dress). It’s not my most professional look, but on a day where I’m just existing and working, I’m ok with it.
If your office is firmly on the casual side and trends towards rodeo attire, those seem like they would be okay. My office is more towards the business end of casual and people will do golf attire on Fridays, but those boots would make it look like I fed the chickens on my way out the door and forgot to change.
I think of the Campus 14 as super casual… as an icon they really still look like the alternative to being straight up barefoot at a bra-optional party in the 1970s. In the 90s they still lived up to the name of “campus” boots and were paired with much more casual clothing than any office, and I can’t unsee it.
But I think you can wear a heeled boot and even a chunky heeled boot with your fuller leg pants! I would just look for a different one that is less of a statement.
Is it rude to tell someone they forgot to cut the tack stitch on their jacket/skirt/coat vent?
Yes. Enjoy knowing that they are wrong and you are right inside your head
I can’t imagine having the ego to prefer walking around looking silly rather than face a little embarrassment and spending 5 seconds fixing something
IDK but I want to do this all the time. If I saw someone very young heading into my work building for what seemed to be like an interview, I might try to tell them (but I can cut it b/c I have tiny nail scissors on me in my work bag). I am 50+, so hopefully received with kindness from someone who can read as “motherly.” But IDK — I’ve never done it but would appreciate anyone showing kindness to my own kids as they leave the nest.
I don’t think so. I absolutely tell other women, even strangers, quietly. Women seem to appreciate it.
Not rude imho. I go by the ‘only point out a clothing malfunction that the wearer (or you) can easily fix and this is an easy fix in most every office.
Only if they’re in a place where they can’t fix it in the moment. If they’re about to go on stage and present something? Rude. If you’re in the office and there are scissors? Not rude.
I do this all the time (to people of all levels of seniority). I would want to know.
I think those people didn’t forget, they didn’t know they were supposed to. That would be a little more embarrassing than “hey your sleeve ripped.”
Yeah, I would definitely tell someone younger than me, because I would not expect them to know that.
Yeah, my GC thinks they are supposed to be there and bemoans the tragedy when they finally tear open on their own.
Nah, I have definitely forgotten. I wash clothes before wearing, except jackets, and I don’t always plan outfits beforehand, so it can happen if I rushed out the door.
I’ve absolutely forgotten before!
I tell people. It’s an easy problem to solve.
Not at all; in fact, it’s a kindness. Of course, you have to do it kindly — so quietly, and in a time and place where it makes sense to do so.
+1
I do this because I would want someone to tell me. Same with something in my teeth, boogers, and toilet paper trailing from my shoe.
Long ago, someone on an escalator told me I forgot to cut the stitch in my skirt vent… and that was the day I learned you were supposed to cut those. Thank you, kind stranger.
Comfort shoe review – Naturalize Vivienne flat. They are not super attractive but relatively unobtrusive and suitable to wear with a suit. I was able to wear them on Day 3 of a conference where my feet were in serious pain without issue, for 10+ hours.
good to know. i’m going to a conference next month and debating what to wear on my feet.
28 year old me who used to (literally) run in heels around conference floors was dying inside but my 43yr old knees can only handle flats these days! I also like my Rothy’s for more casual days but imho you need a real shoe if you’re wearing a formal suit.
recommendation for jeans with some stretch (specifically want ones i can fly in) thanks!
I find Mother jeans to be surprisingly comfortable.
do they have a little stretch?
yes, was about to recommend them myself.
at a lower price point, Kut from the Kloth Catherine boyfriend jeans are also super comfy.
Yes, they have some stretch. They are my go-to airplane jeans.
YMMV but my Jessica Simpson jeans almost feel like sweat pants to me.
Mavi used to have two-way stretch that were my favorite for full mobility as well as for lounging, but I wouldn’t know where to start looking for that now.
The Rag and Bone Miramar sweatpant jeans are amazing. Not actually jeans, but no one can tell.
My Frame jeans are beautifully stretchy.
i know they are “classic” but when are breton stripes going to stop being so trendy?
Hopefully never
+1. I have a short neck and I’m petite so boatneck breton striped shirts (ideally with bracelet sleeves) balance me out and look so cute for weekend wear!
+2. Breton stripes will always have a place in my closet.
+3 you will have to pry them from my cold dead hands
Same! Boatneck ftw.
I can’t think of any era in my almost 6 decades on this earth that Bretton stripes wouldn’t look at least classic if not trendy.
op here. agree 100% that said for the last few years stripes appear to be the main pattern and mostly in neutral colors. seems like the fates that control these things will start swinging back towards other patterns
I need a new venue. Some magazine or website that shows pretty clothing, attractive lifestyle suggestions, attainable travel. I like this site and group, so I’m not giving it up. In the old days (pre-internet) I read Harpers & Queen, even though I’m in the US. I’ve shopped at Talbots since I was in high school, as well as J Crew and similar stores. The latest offerings from Talbots are so *brown* and frumpy (even for Talbots!). These days I read Country Life and Sunset, the New York Times and the Wall Street Journal. Occasionally Garden & Gun (ignoring all the hunting stuff).
I’m still looking for something else… Argh!
I read tons of magazines via Libby from my library. There are access to many magazines from the UK, (Red, Prima, Simple Things) and I love flipping through those.
I’m going to a finance conference in DC in late October. I’m in Denver so things are casual. Can I wear a lady sweater jacket and wide leg pants or do I need something more tailored?
yes. this is fine. people where everything and what you proposed is definitely the middle you will be fine.
Out of curiosity has anyone switched your 401k to a Roth 401K? could you do it through your portal or did you have to talk to someone in HR or whatever? we’re with american funds, which i think is part of capital.
Do you mean convert existing 401k to Roth 401k or have future contributions be to the Roth 401k? Two very different things. The former has major tax consequences.
I haven’t done it but it looks like you can do it in the portal with Fidelity.
I did switch my contributions so part of my retirement accounts are now Roth (post-tax) but I left what was already contributed as pre-tax in there as pre-tax. It’s in separate buckets in the portal.
Do you mean a rollover of existing funds into a Roth account or just change future contributions? My workplace only started offering Roth as an option in the last few years and we can change our contributions on the broker portal. Before that, they didn’t have a Roth option.
I always liked Scoop clothes until once the shopgirls treated one of my closest friends like she was a suspicious thief and followed her around the entire store. after that i never liked them and it’s funny to me that they’re at walmart.
I’m looking for a pair of bootcut leggings. You know, what we used to call yoga pants from 2005-2010ish? Anyway, would love some recommendations for a more current iteration.
I posted a link to a fleece-lined version above.
How often did you receive and/or respond to coworker questions about work after you started maternity leave? I’m still prepartum but annoyed that I’ve even received one text about a work issue when I have a coverage person.
Are you officially out on leave? Doesn’t matter whether the baby is here or not, don’t respond.
If you’re not officially on leave, respond and direct them to the coverage person.
Yes, I’m officially on leave already.
I wouldn’t respond. If it’s absolutely critical, someone will follow up. The only stuff I would be OK responding to would be things like “is it ok if so and so uses your laptop monitors” or “can we bid you on a proposal that would start next year.”