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Frugal Friday’s Workwear Report: Short-Sleeve Poplin Popover Top

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A woman wearing a white short-sleeved top, gold chain necklace, and light blue pants

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

My hunt for crisp, white shirts for the summer continues apace. Today, I’m really liking this poplin popover from J.Crew Factory. It has 2% elastane for just a hint of stretch, which I appreciate for something that I’m wearing to the office.

I would wear this with a midi skirt and flats for a casual Friday in the summer. 

The top is $39.50 at J.Crew Factory and comes in sizes XXS-3X. It also comes in a blue stripe and denim. 

Sales of note for 4/17:

  • Nordstrom – Beauty savings event, up to 25% off – nice price on Black Honey
  • Ann Taylor – Cyber Spring! 50% off everything + free shipping
  • Boden – 25% off everything (thru Sun, then 15% off)
  • Brooklinen – 25% off sitewide — we have and love these sateen sheets
  • Evereve – 1000+ items on sale, including lots from Alex Mill, Michael Stars, Sanctuary, Rails, Xirena, and Z-Supply
  • Express – $29 dresses
  • J.Crew – 30% off all dresses
  • J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything, and extra 50% off clearance
  • Lands' End – 50% off full price styles and 60% off all clearance and sale – lots of ponte dresses come down under $25, and this packable raincoat in gingham is too cute
  • Loft – Friends & Family event, 50% off entire purchase + free shipping
  • Macy's – 25% off already reduced prices + 15% off beauty & fragrance
  • M.M.LaFleur – Spring Sale Event – Buy More, save more! 10% off $250+, 15% off $500+, 20% off $750+, 25% off $1000+ (Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off if you find any exclusions.)
  • Sephora – Spring sale! 20%, 15%, or 10% off depending on your membership tier; ends 4/20. Here's everything I recommend in the sale!
  • Talbots – Spring sale! 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns
  • TOCCIN – Use code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off!
  • Vivrelle – Looking to own less stuff but still try trends? Use code CORPORETTE for a free month, and borrow high-end designer clothes and bags!

168 Comments

    1. +1. I really like cotton poplin like this. It doesn’t get as crumpled as linen. Cotton gauze is also great and I can usually find a work appropriate gauze piece as well

  2. Low stakes question for a Friday morning. An Aldi is opening up near me soon, and I’ve never shopped at one before. What are the products/items you like most from Aldi? Are they like Trader Joes and Costco in that certain items just disappear from their inventory over time? What do you like best about shopping there?

    1. Yes, Aldi has a lot of temporary/seasonal products. They are like TJs in that they have house brand versions of a lot of national brands, which are mostly just as good and way cheaper. It sometimes feels like their inventory is whatever fell off the truck that week, so it’s hit or miss whether they’ll have whatever you’re looking for. But they prices are generally really good.

    2. I honestly don’t love shopping at Aldi because you can’t do a whole shop.

      Their white chocolate, korma sauce and German cheese is what I buy. I highly recommend Lidl. Good pasta, rice, yoghurt, cheese, herbs& spices, vegetables, fruit when in season and the freshly baked bread is excellent and only $3.99. They have fresh croissants for 49c each. My children love the Lidl frozen shepherds pie. It’s their junk meal every other week. They have good quality prawns (little shrimp, about 70 count/lb) and white asparagus for my family’s favorite salad.

      I buy my protein from Costco. Dinner is typically protein, starch and 2 vegetables.

    3. I tend to go there for basics (flour, eggs, milk, etc.). Not a huge fan of their produce (it doesn’t feel like great quality and doesn’t have a good shelf life). I love walking down the “Aldi Finds” aisle to see what they’ve got (sometimes it’s fun, sometimes it’s nothing). If you start to go with any regularity, bring a quarter for the cart and keep it in your car. They don’t have carry baskets, so if you forget a quarter, you’re carrying it all in your arms or finding one of their shipping boxes to carry it.

      1. I actually find that my Aldis has great apples. The rest of the produce, yeah, pretty hit or miss. Sturdy vegetables like potatoes, carrots, cabbage, peppers, are fine. Berries are not great quality. Grapes are sometimes okay, and citrus seems fine. The spring mix that comes in a box is usually good, as are the packages of romaine.

        I really like Aldis brand of Greek yogurt (Friendly Farms) and their milk and eggs are good. My Aldis has fun cheese – they have a cheddar Gruyère that I love. And it keeps better than a lot of cheese I’ve gotten at Trader Joe’s (I have bad luck with TJ cheeses). They have a dupe for the TJ chicken salad with cranberries that is very good.

        I honestly love my Aldis because I can be in and out very fast (the one I go to has self checkout lanes). I can do most of my shopping there, with the occasional stop at Giant or Costco. I actually find Aldis better for regular grocery shopping than Trader Joe’s – I feel like Trader Joe’s is more for fun things than for shopping for everyday food I use.

    4. German expat in the US here:

      My favorites are the chocolates and cookies. Look for the Choceur and Moser Roth brands – those are the same as in Germany and taste really good.
      We also like the cheese and charcuterie- they have real Italian salami and prosciutto. The ciabatta rolls and flatbreads are good.

      Everyday things like milk, eggs and frozen veggies are cheaper than elsewhere. The meat and fish is good quality , and they have organic produce and meats. For produce, the selection is a bit small so I supplement in other stores. (For example, they carry organic zucchini but not bell pepper.)

      For seasonal items, I always stock up on German Christmas cookies, gingerbread and stollen, but you have to be quick and follow their ads to know when these hit stores. Last season, the advent calendars were out of stock within 2 days in my store.

      In general, the non-food weekly items are interesting, often household or decorative items are good quality. If you want to buy something specific, know that they always start putting it on shelves on Wed or Thu, so you should go to the store on these days and not the following Monday or Tuesday because good stuff will be gone.

      1. My dad is obsessed with the Aldi steaks – he swears they’re the best quality of grocery store steaks in our area.

    5. I’d say the main difference to a regular grocery store is that they carry a smaller inventory.
      So you won’t find 20 brands of ketchup, Aldi has maybe 2. What is a whole aisle of a category in another store has 5 foot of shelve space at Aldi.

      If you’re not picky about brands, their proprietary brand stuff is decent. They carry some organic fruit, veggies and meat but not a huge variety. For example, you will find organic chicken breast but not chicken thighs or drum sticks.

      We go about every two weeks for some staples but supplement with fresh things from other stores.

    6. We tried it a few times over the years, but didn’t find the savings worth the trouble of (1) another stop, and (2) unpredictable inventory.

      1. Same. As someone whose small city has Aldi but not Trader Joe’s, it’s nothing like Trader Joe’s.

        1. Yeah, I much prefer Trader Joe’s. They have fewer food recalls than Aldi or Costco. And more healthy or green options than Costco. And I can find almost everything I need there including green cleaning supplies.

          1. That’s so funny because I find Trader Joe’s to be mostly full of heat ‘n eat foods, or fun snacks. I can never do a real grocery shopping there.

          2. The main food groups at Trader Joe’s are cookies/candy, dessert, and frozen meals! Seriously, they have of that so much in proportion to the size of their store. If you like to cook and eat unprocessed foods, it’s not really the best option.

          3. yeah my grocery shopping is a combination of TJ’s for prepared foods and some produce (like salad fixings; their fruit is usually overpriced), a typical grocery store like Acme or Giant for pantry staples, and the farmer’s market for produce, meat, and fish.

            Aldi has neither the great prepared food, a reliable selection of our pantry favorites, nor a reliable selection of produce, so it did not stick around as a 4th stop!

          5. TJs really works well for my single lifestyle. Cooking for one is often quite different than cooking for more.

      2. The extra stop part is annoying, so I do a curbside pickup at Aldi and round it out with a stop in-person at our full service grocery store next door. Saves a ton of money and doesn’t take much time!

    7. I like everything about actually shopping at Aldi. The no-frills, no-nonsense layout is so much less exhausting than a supermarket. Needing a quarter for a cart is inconvenient, but it probably selects for fellow shoppers who can handle feeling slightly inconvenienced (as well as the sight of a cashier sitting down!) and who can also navigate the relatively tighter spaces politely.

      As for what I actually buy there, I really like the Lacura foaming hand soap, the “Artisan” lettuce (cheaper than Costco), the seasonal cardboard cat houses, and the frozen fish/seafood if I don’t want Costco amounts of it. We also get seasonal stuff for holidays (rib roast, lamb, fancy cheeses in reasonable quantities, chocolate, probably similar to Trader Joe’s on that front). And we usually pick up some grassfed steaks.

      1. Oh wow! I never noticed, but you are right, their cashiers do sit down! Another point for Aldis!

    8. I am an Aldi superfan.

      I buy almost all of my groceries there. I pick up some specialty ingredients once a month when I’m close to Trader Joe’s, and I get a box of vegetables delivered every other week (where I get for variety because Aldi’s produce options are relatively limited and can get boring). I have three kids and don’t feel like I need a Costco membership.

      My FAVORITE part about Aldi is that it’s 4 aisles – it’s so fast to get through. You never need to comparison shop or look out for sales. When I go to a full grocery store I am overwhelmed. Give me one option for Dijon mustard and let me move on with my life.

      There are trade offs for sure (the ice cream flavors can be repetitive, sometimes there is no seltzer for weeks), but they have a rotating aisle of fun stuff (food and stuff) that keeps it novel. That aisle is literally branded ‘here today, gone tomorrow’ – it changes weekly and stuff cycles out quickly. But often it’ll come back in 3-6 months so if you fall in love with something you can stock up the next time you see it (see: the eggplant patties in my freezer).

    9. I’ve never been that impressed with Aldi. I’ll shop there occasionally, but the quality is pretty hit and miss and the checkout process is annoying. They have a middle aisle full of random non-food things but generally it’s not a store with fun finds like TJ’s or Costco.

      1. The main point of Aldi is that you save money. People on this board are not generally bargain shoppers, but if you are, Aldi really stands out.

          1. I think throwing away food is also not something that bargain shoppers tend to do (vs. eating it anyway because there’s nothing actually wrong with it, or if there is something actually wrong with it, taking it back to the store).

          4. Food poisoning is unacceptable! Every grocery store I shop at has had strings of recalls unfortunately; I don’t have a strong impression of who has had more. The pandemic response involved lowering inspection standards, and then agencies got DOGEd, so I assume it’s just bad out there. Get tested and report to whoever is left to report to, I guess!

            I’m not a fan of now having to cook all frozen vegetables to 165 degrees F because of the listeria, that is for sure.

        2. This. I don’t like to shop or cook and I am busy. I’d give up my bi-weekly housecleaner before I would shop at Aldis. Costco seems like a better bang for the buck and TIME.

    10. We shop at Aldi’s regularly because it’s colocated with a medical office we frequent. I’m not sure I would go out of my way to shop there, though. The prices on eggs and organic milk can’t be beat – like half the cost of our other grocery stores. We do buy produce there, especially berries, but there’s a higher ratio of bruised or damaged fruit so inspect carefully before purchase. Vegetables like spinach, lettuce, cucumbers and mushrooms are pretty reliable. Their breads are hit and miss but I like their knockoff hawaiian rolls and english muffins. We experimented with pizzas (good value but very greasy) and meats (tend to be injected with saline, and we noticed the saltiness).

      Mostly I like that I am in and out FAST (usually less than 10 minutes all-in) and my bill is less than $25 for what we buy.

    11. If you have a kid in your house who goes through berries as quickly as mine does, Aldi can be great for organic fruit! (You just need to inspect carefully to check that everything looks good.) I also like it for when I’m putting together a cheese board. Lots of good meat/cheese/fun options.

    12. I primarily hit Aldi’s when we’re trying to save money or we’re trying to cut dyes — a lot of their stuff is European (German?) so it just doesn’t contain the same dyes that are in a lot of cereals and kids stuff. Good prices, but like someone else said it isn’t a complete shop.

      Good prices on meat, dairy/cheese, spices, prepared foods, wines (good prices, not sure about the quality). Avoid the fruit/veg. Their name brand stuff for sauces etc can be hit or miss so don’t take a chance if you’re hoping it’s a dupe for a regular brand.

      I stock up on things like their nut packets and dried & dehydrated fruits — nice to pack for lunches.

    13. I loved Aldi so much when I lived in an expensive city while on a low income and was the breadwinner of my family. It really offers savings, like you can’t believe the final total is so low! I loved that it is a totally different concept for shopping than other stores. Trader Joe’s has a nice selection if you are more of a foodie, but if you are trying to save money, TJs is really not great. At Aldi, I had to modify my meal plans to fit the kinds of things that are usually available, since they don’t always have everything, especially in terms of produce. But it was such a relief to find real savings, when your budget doesn’t have that many places where you can really trim the fat.

    14. Solid, cheap cooking wine. Chicken is better quality than what our other supermarket carries.
      Produce is either amazing or past its prime, no in between.
      Cheese prices are usually much better.
      Products that are made with actual food ingredients and not weird fillers.

    15. I initially loved Aldi but the quality was so hit or miss, with no real way of predicting what would miss, that I felt like I was wasting money and resources by buying things we’d throw out more than saving money.

    16. Aldi’s nuts, cheeses, organic coffee and the Moser Roth chocolates are excellent. They sometimes have good frozen vegetarian or pescetarian meals that I love for office lunches, but then they disappear. :(

      We like the frozen mussels in tomato or garlic broth – basically an instant meal with pasta or crusty bread. Aldi also is good for cheap basics – cooking spray, vinegar, etc. It is my go-to place to buy items for the free pantries in my neighborhood.

      Honestly, I love the Aldi finds aisle (sometimes called the aisle of shame); the selections seems random, and it helps to check the weekly ad to see what’s there. I have bought a really nice Dutch oven, large pull-out rack/drawers for my kitchen cabinets that were less than half the price as at hardware stores (although I had to go to multiple stores to get the seven I needed), attractive wire and wood baskets for organizing a kitchen shelf, silicone cooking utensils, and even (very oddly) my SO’s favorite flannel-lined jeans. They also can have great deals on toys; I bought my step-grandkid two sets of Magna tiles, again less than half of what the big box stores charge.

  3. I have the Apple brand plugs for various international settings. For a trip where I am in Europe proper but then have to change planes with a long layover in Dublin, will the Europe plug work there (vs the one identified as the UK plug)? Sometimes Europe means continental only and I am sure that if I bring the wrong plugs, I will have a dead laptop and work emergencies to deal with.

    1. “Europe” is usually the two round prongs. Bring the “UK” one for the layover (three flat prongs, triangular layout).

    2. Ireland uses the UK plug (Type G) so I’d bring that for the layover.

      Europe is not a monolith. A lot of the continent uses Type C, but there are some countries like Switzerland and Denmark where you need a different one. Google the specific countries you’re visiting and find out what type of plug they use.

      1. I think that three plugs may be needed:
        EU — sort of most of continental / western Europe (YMMV)
        UK — for Dublin airport
        US — because you never know that the plugs will be on the plane itself and that is also a big chunk of time

          1. My tech bro brother warned me off of those because (forgets — something like there can’t be malware from an electricity but can happen with an USB) and told me to use a plug. And yet I feel that that’s what is on offer these days.

        2. The planes I’ve been on in the last 3-4 years have all had either a USB, or the underseat outlet has at least US + UK, if not also EU, capability.

  4. I have a weird question. I make a lot of bags as a hobby. I find sewing the geometry fun and the problem solving of pockets, zips, structure interesting. How do I get rid of the bags? Do I just donate this to a regular thrift store? They’re pretty special: super functional, well made, and unique elements like a bottom pocket with acrylic insert so they’re both washable and sturdy (no cardboard here!). FWIW this isn’t a wasteful hobby as the only thing I buy new are snaps and thread I upcycle all the other elements of the bags from thrifted items. I want them gone but I also want them to be used.

    1. How lovely!

      Women’s shelters, queer community centres, refugee centres and community food pantries: places where people need to feel some love and you can spread the love you’ve put into making them.

      1. I have a friend who works for a breast cancer centre – they have wigs, bra fittings, etc. and I wonder if a place like that would like them for some of their pamper packs.
        It sounds like such a lovely hobby!

        1. I love this idea and I’ll also throw in that animal rescues or shelters might want them. It would be a great way to send people home with any supplies or paperwork when there’s a new adoption.

      2. I think reaching out to these charities and asking 1. If they would like them and 2. If so, shape/size/features would be most helpful would a great way to channel this crafting and make sure it has the most impact. A lot of organizations need bags to distribute items.

    2. That’s so nice! Try your local child protective services agency. They might take some for older kids in foster care who have to move their stuff around.

      1. That seems like a lot of effort I’m not really into. I just want the bags to have good homes without doing marketing, social media, transactions etc.

        The women’s shelter idea above is good, theres one near me so I’ll try and talk to them (which might be it’s own struggle since they are reasonably private & high security to protect their residents from DV).

    4. My suggestions would maybe depend on what kind of bags they are – are they designed to be functional like a tote bag or more fun like a purse or more like a weekender bag?

      Anyway, my buy nothing group has a few members who source textiles/supplies from the group and then give away the finished product on the group (jewelry, clothes, etc). So you could consider that!

      1. They’re all functional (and well designed) everything from totes to weekenders. I often make matching wallets/toiletry bags too.

        1. I know you don’t want to sell, but I feel like some women would jump on these for bridesmaids or bachelorette party gifts. Especially if you did them on commission in the colors they want.

          1. Doing them on commission and having to deal with people would completely kill my joy and it honestly wouldn’t be worth my time especially if we considered my day salary. I just want to craft for funsies and then make sure my creations get a good home.

            Usually I’ll get fixated on perfecting one thing for ex the duffle, make a few with different features, keep one, then have a bunch idk what to do with.

    5. Diaper bags? I could never find a machine washable diaper bag which could also hang on the back of the stroller. My aunt made me a bag which was perfect.

      Id speak to the local charity working with moms.

    6. Donate to fundraiser raffles! I also like to create things and do it in such quantity that I have more finished objects than I can use myself or give away.

    7. Partner with someone who will do the selling part: photographing them, putting them on Etsy, shipping them, etc.

  5. Has anyone run across any really beautiful clothing / brands that would come in a size 10 and be cut for the not-super-tall? I’m menopausal shape-shifting again and it’s time to shop (again; this is not the first round). I’d love pieces that would work in the office (where I approximate a business-casual vibe circa 2019) but be suitable for a WFH day as regular clothes when I may meet people for lunch or go to a CLE and want to look not sloppy. Not interested in athleisure (I have plenty; use for walking the dog and outdoor / cooking where I want a washable fabric). At my age, I am OK spending $ on my wardrobe but swear there is nothing for my age / stage of life.

      1. Is Me & Em like Boden and The Fold where it is cut for a taller-than-average person with a long torso who is rather straight up-and-down? The midsection dimensions are challenging geography to get right when so much of this is mail order.

        1. Maybe? That’s my body type and it works wonderfully for me. Same with all the brands listed.

        2. The Fold and Boden is definitely the answer for me. I am 5’8, size 8/10 but extremely curvy. Long torso.

    5. Garnet Hill also has really lovely clothing, cut short. I wish they cut tall!

      For more casual clothing, I also find JCrewFactory and LLBean cut short.

  6. Like I predicted, I hate everything in my wardrobe right now and am shopping for impractical things! I bought the “long lace top” from Zara and it looks good, but tell me that I can’t wear it anywhere so I will return it! (l i n k to follow)

    2. How were you envisioning wearing it when you bought it — was it for your fantasy life or your actual life?

    3. Shopping for my aspirational self is the best thing. It sparks so much joy. I still have nothing to wear though :(

    4. oh pretty! I would wear it exactly as styled out to dinner somewhere… Mediterranean this summer. Time to plan a trip :)

    5. I’d wear it over a skirt/skort/shorts and then put something over the top. Maybe a crop button-up or tie-front shirt or sweater.

    7. I love this.. I actually like how zara styles it, and would wear that for most any weekend activity or a night out. I think the shoe/bag choice would make it more casual or dressy

  7. If you’re trying to limit exposure to plastics, what are you wearing for pants? Just realized my old navy leggings and yoga pants ain’t it. (The Netflix doc on plastics is crazy!!)

    1. Maggie’s organics leggings are my go to. Be ware they don’t vanity size like most mall brands though, more of true yoga sizing. I have years of hippy granola experience and recommendations for most things.

    2. Old navy now has cotton leggings! (Ok, they are 55% cotton, but still better than the 100% plastic kind).

      1. It’s worthwhile to avoid carcinogens but it’s more bang for your buck to avoid meat than wear plastic free clothing.

      2. Yea this sounds like the mom who complained when our PTO purchased plastic picnic tables that her child will sit at maybe once a week for no more than 30 minutes.

      3. Or seek out garments that make you happy.

        I find plastic fabric sweaty, smelly, and chintzy looking. Cotton, linen, and wool are harder to find than they should be but garments made with those fibers do still exist.

        1. They are expensive but only upfront. The wear per use is comparable or better in my experience.

  8. My family has been concerned about my mom and dementia for weeks – dad got her an appointment with her primary at noon today after telling the dr his concerns. Any advice to make her go/get out of car? In past she’s said she “just isn’t in the mood” and refuses to move. (Any tests or meds he should ask for?)

    1. I’m sorry you and your family are going through this. Definitely have the doctor test for UTI and consider whether she may have another type of infection.

    2. Make sure your father gets a chance to speak to the doctor privately and that he uses specifics. Doctors respond better to “she recently forgot how to open her own front door” than “she seems a little more forgetful.” As for getting her in the door, that one is tricky and personality-dependent but sometimes “just a check-up” helps.

      1. I agree it’s personality dependent (maybe even a little generational?).

        If she’s generally cooperative with doctors: the doctor wants to see her, the doctor said it’s okay that she’s not in the mood, etc. so it’s listening to the doctor (good) vs. actively seeking help from a doctor (something I know a lot of people are very reluctant to do!).

        My own mom is anti-authoritarian and into wellness culture and doesn’t care what the doctor recommends. So she would need to hear different things entirely.

    3. I’m sorry you are all going through this. The primary care may want to check for signs of stroke, an active infection, vitamin deficiency, abnormal blood sugar, thyroid, just any of the things that can cause cognitive symptoms especially in older patients or that can make things worse if untreated.

      This pamphlet has some more details about imaging and some of the different dementia diagnoses: https://www.alz.org/getmedia/56ced842-e341-44fd-ad1b-7a5d8d23bf9d/differentialdiagnosishandout.pdf

      1. huge thanks for this! I started googling it last night and was reading about the different types.

    4. OP here. update: swing and a miss. doctor came out to car to talk to her but she refused to go in. he told us that as long as she can answer basic competency questions they can’t make her do anything.

      1. Shoot. I’m impressed that this doctor went out to the car.

        Will the doctor do a telemed visit? Mom might be willing to sit for this.

        Has she always been stubborn like this, or is this part of her recent behavioral changes?

        1. she’s always been stubborn and the kind to hold a grudge. but she’d have gotten upset or alarmed and be pissed at you before… my dad reports that a few hours later it’s like nothing happened.

      2. Seems like she is resistant to a diagnosis. It’s scary for the person undergoing the dementia and, from their perspective, “losing time.” And the descent into dementia is not an even downward slope, is jaggedy and she may present as quite lucid at times before she says something that snaps you back to the reality that she is losing or has lost cognitive abilities. You have my sympathies.

  9. If you have a stackable A&F promo code, please share. I am usually pretty good at hunting these down but I am empty-handed this time. Thanks, ‘rettes!

  10. Good morning! I’m in the beginning stages of planning a coffee focused costa rica trip for my husbands birthday next winter. He used to love beer and brewed his own but now cannot drink alcohol for medical reasons and LOVES coffee, especially fancy pour overs. We would go January, February, or early March 2027 and bring our 1 year old with us. Does anyone have any resort recommendations, or activities? Budget ~$500-700 a night (but I would be happy to stay below that). I love a good all inclusive where I don’t have to figure out meals. The more coffee focused the better!

    2. In this situation I would definitely stay at a regular all inclusive and then book yours of various coffee plantations. Idk if your husband is into the ethics of it or just the taste but there are some really cool bird friendly growers in Costa Rica who make great beans without harming the environment or wildlife.

    5. Near the airport, if you’re flying into/out of SJO, you could go to the Starbucks coffee farm (Hacienda Alsacia) which has an incredible view and a coffee tour, and stay at Peace Lodge near the La Paz waterfall which also has a park with an aviary, sloths, butterfly room, etc which is fun for kids. I’d stay there on your first or last day and go farther afield (maybe Arenal/Monteverde) for the rest of your trip.

      2. Also, Starbucks Workers United is calling for a boycott, as they have been fighting unsuccessfully for a contract at unionized stores for a few years.

        Even if you don’t want to boycott, there are a lot of local growers in Costa Rica to support, no need to give money to a US corporation.

        And it’s beautiful there, you will have a wonderful time.

    6. I don’t have any tips but just have to say this sounds like an incredible (and thoughtful!) trip!

    7. Close relatives just returned from a Gate One tour of Costa Rica and really enjoyed the whole thing. Perhaps they have a coffee-focused tour of Costa Rica? Good luck and have fun!

  11. I feel that I am the last person to see the various documentaries on Gypsy Blanchard and OMG that whole situation horrifies me. The one thing that I wonder is how the various doctors went along with all of the un-needed medical interventions and how insurance must have just paid for everything not covered by the various fundraisers (which just seemed to be grifting vs truly needed)? Aren’t doctors and nurses mandated reporters? Is this part of what electronic medical records are designed to prevent (loss of big-picture medical picture from deliberately seeing many providers in different states or medical systems)? I wish I could have seen side-by-side commentary from a prosecutor and a hospital-system in-house counsel on how they try to spot and combat this. I get that 99% of parents and (hopefully) 100% of doctors and other medical providers would not want to harm a child, but many of them did in fact harm a child.

  12. My aunt had to retire early because she was feeling “off” and not safe to drive her rural commute in darkness (it was a 9-5 job, but often she had to leave or return in the dark). After seeing many, many doctors and doing a lot of tests, we first thought it was Parkinson’s and later Lewy-Body Dementia (with some Parkinson’s features). She had OK days and really bad days and we had to keep hiding family car keys for fear that she would want to see someone and take off in a car to see them (even though that person may live hundreds of miles away or had died previously).

    Is there a good place to learn more about her diagnosis and what it may mean for siblings (my mom) and my cousins? She was otherwise perfectly healthy when this started and barely 60.

    1. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. My mom has a form of vascular dementia and I’ve found the Alzheimer’s Association (www.alz.org) to have good educational resources on a variety of types of dementia, not just Alzheimer’s.

    2. There’s a link to pesticide exposure for both Parkinson’s and Lewy Body dementia, which may or may not be relevant for your mom and siblings and cousins. But since you mention living in a rural area, that certainly could mean exposure to agricultural chemicals (living next to a golf course is also a risk factor in urban or suburban areas).

      1. +1

        Please support Paraquat bans. Making it a little easier/cheaper to maintain golf courses just isn’t worth it.

        1. I thought the reason for paraquat bans was because it makes it so easy to commit suicide.

    3. My grandfather also had Lew-Body Dementia. I think it’s linked to head trauma. He was a champion middle-weight boxer in his 20s and it likely was what caused it. Does she have any history like that?

  13. Thoughts on Cesar Chavez, the teens, the cofounder (Dolores Huerta)? I’m not blaming the cofounder at all for not coming forward before this about the attacks (ugh or pregnancies). I hope they rename every street for Dolores.

    1. The dichotomy of good and evil is very real. Bad people can do great things and good people can do awful things. I’m sorry all of this happened, but I’m not exactly surprised that someone in a position of influence abused it horrifically. I’m glad we’re getting some daylight on this now.

    2. A lot of comments online were all like “if true, why not say then and prosecute”. Disturbing when women say that. I almost expect that a charismatic male leader will have this in their background with women they had access to.

      1. It’s so pig ignorant to say that. Like a Hispanic woman was going to come forward and accuse the charismatic leader of the movement in the 1970s…

    3. I know this sounds awful, but I wasn’t surprised? I have become too accustomed to learning about powerful men doing terrible things.

    5. I think the reality is that there are many, many men who would harm women and children given the opportunity simply because they are there to have power over. I don’t think it’s a matter of good or bad people but rather the idea that power = entitlement to a woman or child’s body.

      1. Nopppe nope nope. It is absolutely a matter of good and bad when you abuse power

      2. No. Tons of people do not do this despite the opportunity. There are people who seek out the opportunity because they have this plan though. And people who despite women and children so much that they see it as a “temptation” (even though others aren’t tempted at all).

        1. *despise

          Remember how just many men have power over other people and don’t feel entitled. Whatever accounts for the difference, there’s clearly a good and a bad here.

      3. Yeah maybe* believing that you have power over a woman OR CHILD’S body means you’re entitled to it makes you a bad person.

        *It does.

    6. I am heartsick about this, Chavez was a hero from my childhood. I know we shouldn’t be surprised to learn about conduct like this by powerful men, but this one hurts. And my impression was that his relationship with Dolores Huerta, and the leadership of the UFW, was quite egalitarian, and I hate to have that bubble burst also.

      1. Absolutely agree. I am not Latina, but grew up in California (and also spent time in Delano as a child due to a family friend’s farm).

        I was explaining to a friend that this is like 100X the disappointment I felt when I learned that MLK Jr had tons of affairs all the while giving speeches about lofty ideals. This is much worse–affairs are one thing, ab*se and rape are another.

        Anyway, this is not just finding out that a hero was human. It was finding out that a hero should not be looked up to–evil can be coupled with idealism. It’s horrible.

      2. Yes, she married his brother, and had 4 children with him. Their families run the UFW

    7. I’m from New Mexico and so many things here are named for Ceasar Chavez, even though Dolores Huerta was born here! I hope we rename everything after her. Albuquerque only very recently named a portion of a street after her, when we have had a street named after Cesar Chavez for a long time. I was shocked but also not shocked to read the news about the allegations. People are complex (not an excuse at all) but even people held up as heroes are not perfect and I had long heard things about him that made me (as a Hispanic person) not find him as saint-worthy as he was held up to be. But I feel similarly about other people who also did great things, so I’m ultimately not surprised.

  14. If you have foot issues eg plantar faciitis, has anyone tried any of the dupe brands. Most of the popular arch support shoes are so expensive even on sale. It’s hard to justify and the Vionics I bought just aren’t that comfortable (too much arch for me). I saw good reviews of “Dream Pairs” that look like Rothys, and I think there are a couple of other similar knock-offs. Can anyone attest to these? Also, if you have a rec for “middle ground” support – less than Vionics but not totally flat – I’d love to know.

    1. I would go to a running shoe store, get scanned, buy the orthotic they recommend, and swap it out for what’s currently in the Vionics.

      1. Or if you are returning the Vionics, just get any shoe that will accommodate the recommended orthotic insole.

    2. not me, but my husband’s found that getting the expensive insoles & swapping them between shoes is much easier than endlessly trying on, returning, or settling for discomfort

    3. PF expert here.

      1) These are the greatest supports to wear overnight–they make such a difference. (link in comment below)
      2) Highly recommend you buy a foot massager–made a HUGE difference. Mine is just a $75 one on Amazon that was highly rated, with heat.
      3) Check if you need HRT. I went on HRT and my PF vanished nearly overnight. I told my provider who was skeptical, but I was down bad for months and months and then went on nuvaring and was instantly cured. I think it’s like frozen shoulder (but few studies to back up my hypothesis).

      2. Which foot massager? I tried one but it literally shook the house and haven’t tried again.

  15. You know what really sucks about gaining weight in midlife? Not only do you have to replace a bunch of nice clothes, but you also have to consider replacing your grubby house clothes. I was going through my drawers to pick out a few pairs of shorts to set aside for working outdoors, and it was depressing. I can put them on my body, but they aren’t comfortable or loose. So I tell myself, it’s just yard clothes! Who cares! Just wear them and they’ll stretch out! But being uncomfortable in my clothing makes me feel worse in my body, so … a solution with a big downside.

    1. I mean, this will be incredibly unpopular here, but when this happened I made some major changes. I now have reasonably cute house clothes now. Mostly sets that feel amazing on and don’t look indecent without a bra. I have expensive furry birks, but it’s mostly not too pricey stuff I wear instead of beat up sweats while cooking dinner or snuggling on the couch with my kids. It’s amazing and I feel good.

      I get that most posters here have a completely perfect second hand ethical wear- forever wardrobe in natural fibers that is never ever dated and they look so amazing that strangers stop to gush every time they leave the house. That’s awesome. But giving myself permission to buy a few pairs of inexpensive shorts and soft tees in a size that felt good made a big difference in my life.

      1. Your second paragraph made me laugh. Excellent description.

        I accumulated a lot of “house clothes” during the pandemic, but you may have just given me permission to cull those and up my house clothes game a little. Curious about what you’ve found that doesn’t look indecent without a bra.

        1. Dark colors. Looser fits. Thicker knits. Nothing crazy, it’s just not see through. Obviously your comfort level might vary.

        2. Sorry got cut off but definitely do it. Go get a few comfy sets from gap or old navy or wherever is on sale. Get colors and necklines you like and stack them together in your closet so when you come home after long day you have comfy and cute clothes to throw on. We don’t have to live whole chunks of our day in college leftovers or workout stuff that lost its shape if we’re ok spending a relatively small amount of money on ourselves.

      2. Seconding this. My house clothes are usually things like Old Navy purchased seasonally during a big sale. I return any items that make me feel grumpy or frumpy and don’t try to make do with stuff I dislike for any reason just because it was cheap.

    2. Having nice gardening attire feels so good though. I got a couple of pairs of overalls from Duluth. They make me feel so garden-y! And I wore them while pregnant so they are definitely suitable for menopause-related weight shifts.

      1. OP here, and I have been coveting a pair of Duluth overalls. I probably should just do it.

  16. Laid off yesterday. I saw it coming but haven’t been in this situation before and it sucks. I have a long runway: am employed through May to complete a project, then severance is generous. Financially we’ll be ok; we have a 12 month emergency fund at my insistence and live below our means today.

    I’m struggling to process and deal with it, but have also been applying and interviewing for jobs before this happened. Any advice on getting through the next few weeks?

    2. I’m sorry to hear that. I’ve been laid off before and it was horrible. Congrats on having such a great emergency fund, and it’s great you have generous severance and time on your side! I recommend the book Keeping Your Head After Losing Your Job for help mentally adjusting/processing if you keep ruminating about everything.

    3. I’m so sorry OP. Get your internal ducks lined up— benefits, etc. Also, references. And network like crazy while you’re still employed.

  17. a frivolous question for a friday – getting my nails done after work, what color should I go with? thinking about a sky blue or lilac.

    context: I do gel on natural nails, this color will be on for a shorter time than usual as I’ll be getting them redone right before a big conference (in a neutral) so feels like a good time to try something different! hybrid role, can wear whatever nail color to work.

      1. Me too! I like sky blue for longer wear, which is why I’d suggest lilac for the brief style.

  18. Late to ask but worth a try. I have three hours free in downtown DC this afternoon. I have been on my feet all day and don’t want to do a ton of walking and would prefer to be indoors. I have already seen all the major monuments around the mall, the cherry trees, etc. What one thing would you suggest?

    1. If you don’t want to do a lot of walking, museums are probably out, otherwise that would be my rec. How about getting a good book and just hitting up a cafe or coffee shop? If you’re not too far from Dupont Circle (Metro red line), Kramerbooks is a great place to browse and have a meal or a drink.

    2. Atrium of the National Portrait Gallery – grab a coffee or tea, a table, and read/ people watch.

    3. The State Fair Exhibit at the Renwick is amazing. And it’s a small museum with places to sit.

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