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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
Three cheers for dresses with pockets! This blazer dress from White House Black Market is a perfect knee length and has an adjustable self-belt at the waist for a more custom fit.
I would add a blazer for a more formal look, but if bare arms fly at your office, it also looks great on its own.
The dress is $150 at White House Black Market and comes in sizes 00–18 and petite sizes 00–12.
(Unfortunately, the only plus-size options we could find were from ultra-fast-fashion brands and/or were inappropriate for the office!)
P.S. Eid Mubarak to those who celebrate!
Sales of note for 10.24.24
- Nordstrom – Fall sale, up to 50% off!
- Ann Taylor – Friends of Ann Event, 30% off! Suits are included in the 30% off!
- Banana Republic Factory – 40-60% off everything, and redeem Stylecash!
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
- J.Crew – Friends & Family event, 30% off sitewide.
- J.Crew Factory – 40% off everything
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Up to 30% off on new arrivals
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 40% off entire purchase, plus free shipping no minimum
- White House Black Market – Buy more, save more; buy 3+ get an extra 50% off
Anonymous
Please talk to me about your favorite sunscreen. I’m a big fan of Biore UV Aqua Rich Watery Essence imported from Asia, but am open to new formulations as it can be annoying to source.
I like it to be thinner consistency and on the cheaper side so I really slather it onto my face, neck, decolattage, arms and hands.
Anon
https://www.neutrogena.com/products/sun/hydro-boost-water-gel-lotion-spf-50/6811342.html?cgid=all-sun-products&tilePosition=15
Anon
For face: https://www.neutrogena.com/products/skincare/neutrogena-hydro-boost-city-shield-water-gel-sunscreen-broad-spectrum-spf-25/6811347.html?cgid=skin-moisturizers&tilePosition=13
Anon
https://www.dermstore.com/la-roche-posay-anthelios-mineral-ultra-light-sunscreen-fluid-spf-50/11429027.html?affil=thgppc&kwds=&thg_ppc_campaign=71700000113713367&adtype=pla&product_id=11429027&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjw8diwBhAbEiwA7i_sJXuDn_KtPuAAkR0Hs_WCpm8kr-lkNYyKu3rNRo9l7b23up3JHx1i_xoCaacQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds
Digby
My current favorite is Skin1004 Madagascar centella water-fit sun serum. No scent, goes on easily, not greasy, not drying. Also, Isntree hyaluronic acid watery sun gel, Jumiso Waterfull hyaluronic acid sunscreen, and Beauty of Joseon Relief Sun rice and probiotics are all good, too. All are available from Stylevana or Soko Glam.
I’m very pale, so I can’t speak to whether any of them have a white cast.
Anon
Trader Joe’s has great sunscreen.
Pompom
Came here to say this. It’s allegedly a whitelabel of SuperGoop’s Unseen Sunscreen, which I love.
Anonymous
I was disturbed to read this article, i think the assumption is that brands are working with companies like TJ… but sometimes TJ is just stealing. https://tastecooking.com/we-need-to-talk-about-trader-joes/
Anon
These brands would do well to have legal representation in those negotiations. A drafted contract would prohibit use of proprietary information without licensing.
If that isn’t what’s going on, it’s also possible that there are just a lot of different brands out there that are independently developing the same thing.
Anonymous
Agreed, 11:03–the small brands “would do well to have legal representation”. Sadly, they’re likely small start-ups without that knowledge base. Seems like TJ’s is very predatory targeting these young minority business owners. Thanks for sharing this article! I will be avoiding such products at TJ’s and seeking out the real minority-owned businesses ones!!
PS Fly by Jing mentioned in the article is legit delish. For another yummy chili crisp, check out KariKari.
Anon
Except it doesn’t work. I’ve never been more burned than when I used the TJs supergoop dupe.
Anon
Which sunscreen is the supposed SuperGoop dupe? I want to try it.
Anon
I use their enrich face cream (SPF 15) on my face, arms and neck when I go out to walk the dog. I haven’t had a sunburn in several years.
Z
The Innisfree Daily Defense one is good. It does smell like sunscreen but it feels pretty good on the skin and is cheaper than just about every other brand at Sephora. It is a Korean brand but this sunscreen is more similar to American sunscreens.
Sunscreen
I’ve been liking Beauty of Joseon Relief Sun rice. I buy from Yes Style. I also like their stick for touch ups (if you aren’t wearing foundation).
My skin is sensitive to SPF and I have rosacea but this has been working well and is easy to apply. my skin is less fussy apart from my face so I tend to use whatever I have on hand. sometimes fancy brands, sometimes whatever is available in travel size at CVS. but I try to cover up as much as I can in the sun to avoid having to slather too much sunscreen
smurf
I just bought the TJ’s one and am looking forward to trying it! I also love the biore.
A bit different formulation, but the Kinship Self Reflect Probiotic Moisturizing Sunscreen is really good, feels like a tinted moisturizer going on (it has the tiniest hint of color/glow) and I feel like it holds up better than biore to actual intense sun exposure. it goes on sale allll the time at ulta.
Anon
That’s my favorite too. My other favorite is Rohto Aqua UV in the gold bottle, also imported.
Thistle
I would normally recommend Ultra Violette but it’s not available in the US. I love the formulas, and although I’m really prone to burning, it’s not happened whilst wearing the Supreme Screen formula. Plus, it’s not got that heavy greasy feeling a lot of formulas have.
it’s about to launch in Canada if you know someone who could send it to you…
ABanon
Another vote for Neutrogena. I’m a big fan of Neutrogena Clear Face oil-free sunscreen. I have the SPF 50. It comes in a 3 oz bottle for $11.49 & I use it for face & body. It’s not heavy & doesn’t get greasy & float above your skin like some do in hot weather. I’m pale and burn easily so I use it pretty regularly.
Anon
Elta MD Clear Tinted has an incredible consistency. It is not cheap… but it’s so good. They have other formulas if “clear” isn’t your need.
RR
I really like this one, available at Amazon. It’s Korean, and it’s got that super thin milky consistency that would seem to match your Biore one. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00E9OXJUQ/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1
Anon
Oh yeah, the Missha sunscreen was my favorite before my current Biore (I’m not OP.) use Missha night revolution serum too. My skin seems to like ferments.
I need to keep repeating that Jude Chao, who wrote a really good book about Korean Skincare, is on IG as fiddysnails and makes recommendations for Asian sunscreens. I just buy whatever she tells me to buy and my skin has been really happy, which has not historically been the case for me – for instance, I had a reaction to the very popular Elta MD.
Anonymous
+ a million to Jude. She discloses her sponsorships, offers lots of inexpensive options, and clearly breaks down WHY an ingredient or formulation is important. I find her way more credible than 99.9% of skincare gurus, Caroline Hirons included (who is oddly antaganistic towards Asian skincare?!?).
Anon
She also includes links for where to get the real asian stuff, even on amazon (which isn’t easy, because you could end up with the made for the US version, which is terrible).
I said I just buy whatever she tells me to buy, and it’s true. I used to avoid sunscreen because I hated how it felt on my face and it often broke me out or caused a reaction. All of the ones she recommends have been absolutely perfect for my fussy, rosacea-prone skin, so much so that they’re an easy part of my routine now and I never skip them. Which is absolutely what you want in an SPF product.
Anonymous
I really like Biore also and just make sure to get the Japanese version, not the US version, when buying off Amazon. I also like Missha Sun Milk and I had a gold Rohto one I think. basically anything fiddy snails recommends! Elta MD in US but it’s pricey.
I did get the Sephora sunscreen sampler and so far like the Peter Thomas Quench one, although it “smells” like sunscreen, somehow. i can’t decide if i want to open them all up and test them out, or only open one at a time and purposely use it all up or DNF it.
AnoNL
I have very sensitive skin and older filters trigger irritation of my skin as well as eyes
I love new filters (Uvinul A, Uvinul T, Tinosorb S, Tinosorb M, polysilicone-15, Uvasorb HEB, Mexoryl…) and choise products which contain at least 4 of them.
I use SPF cream daily (even in winter) instead of a moisturizer, so I need the cream to absorb well, not pill and work with make-up foundation. They must be SPF50+ and fragrance-free and not trigger acne.
I am a devotee of Korean suncreams and highly recommend the following:
Beauty of Joseon Sun Relief cream
Benton Air-Fit UV Defence
Round Lab Birch Juice Moisturizing Sun cream
Purito Daily Defense Sun cream and the Soft-Touch sun cream
iUnik Centella Calmsing Daily Sun cream
HaruHaru Black Rice Moisturizing sun cream
All of the above worked well for me (combo sensitive skin) and my mom (dry sensitive skin). They feel like nothing on your skin, just like any other lightweight moisturizer. If I am outside or in a place with high SPF index, I reapply the sun cream in the afternoon or spray La Roche Posay or Garnier SPF over makeup SPF (better this than no reapplication).
I buy them on local Korean skincare e-com site (all should be in 15 – 20€ price range).
I’ve just turned 40, have no visible sun damage and I return pale-white from exotic holidays (thanks to sun creams and physical sun protection).
If you want to avoid white-cast, choose chemical filters. Titanium dioxide and Zinc oxide (both effective mineral filters) leave white cast. I think Tinosorb M may have a very slight white cast for darker skin tones.
Compression socks?
What are your favorite compression socks for travel?
Going on a long flight to Japan soon, and would love something that works, but is not too thick, as I tend to get hot.
Also, any recs for men’s compression socks?
Anonymous
I always like the colorful ones at Crazy Compression for women. For summer/hot weather maybe consider compression sleeve/leg warmer things instead of full socks?
Anon
Bombas compression socks are the bomb.
Cat
Bombas for the win- the material is breathable. I like medium compression for awake flights and higher for sleeping.
anon
+1 for Bombas. It is enough compression for flights, but not so much that they are a pain to get on.
txanon
I do Comrad socks. They’re nice and thin
Anon
I like Hue
Anon
Sockwell and Comrad
Anon
Sockwell for socks. I sometimes also wear the black or nude knee high compression hose from the drugstore.
Anon
I like the cheap ones they sell at drugstores best. I have pricey ones like Sockwell, but they roll down and annoy me.
go for it
I bought mens compression socks at Aldi on a whim for $4.99 and they are great on long flights.
My sweetie likes Bombas
Anon
Has anyone had buccal fat removal surgery? Or seriously considered and rejected it? What are your words of advice? TIA.
Anon
I’d not do it personally and I have chipmunk cheeks. My understanding is that it can be aging if your face is too lean.
And IDK whatever Kylie Jenner did to her face. If you told me it wasn’t the same person, I’d believe you. Not sure if her iPhone even knows it’s the same person.
Cat
Might give you that sculpted look now, but at the expense of a very gaunt face as you age. I wouldn’t touch it.
Anon
Exactly this.
anon
Yup, this. I can’t believe people are actually doing this, because it’s not gonna age well.
Anon
That was my first thought. I would only do it if my cheeks were disproportionally large in that area, and then only to bring down to normal, not “sculpted.”
Senior Attorney
I had chipmonk cheeks my whole life and hated them, and now that I’m 65, even I am starting to look a little gaunt. Take that bit of information for what it’s worth.
Work Phone
Whatever you do, don’t go to Lea Michelle’s surgeon.
I’d investigate using fillers/botox first before going to buccal fat removal.
Anon
I would be nervous about having that kind of procedure to get a look that is, essentially, a trend. The trend will change, but you still have that face.
Anonymous
This is also why I do not have a tattoo.
Anon
If you’re on the younger side, don’t do it. My face really slimmed down in my 30’s.
Anon
Ugh — I have a gravely serious zoom for work and feel like nothing in my closet works. Post-COVId jackets now seem too casual, too PTA-adjacent, too “young creative.” A suiting jacket will have to do with a plain shell underneath, but this seems not current, missing the mark differently. I have a navy patterned shirtdress that is pretty classic (no tiers or ruffles), but I feel that zoom does well with layers (just not mine) for a serious meeting where you need to convey authority. Help!
Leatty
IMO, a suiting jacket with a shell under it is classic, which is perfect for a gravely serious meeting.
Anon
+1
Anon
+1
Anon
I agree with this. Zoom also helps with the problems of how current the bottoms are: are skirts too “on campus interview,” especially if worn with hose? Is the cut of the pants modern or dated? Loafers or heels? No worries: beautiful jacket, classic shell, good jewelry.
Anon
Yup.
Anonymous
Agree. I’d choose a plain shell and blazer too, and a necklace or earrings with some substance.
nuqotw
Do you have any gravely serious jewelry that conveys authority? I actually the suiting jacket plus shell works, and that more generally fairly simple clothes are best for Zoom. I avoid patterns since they can do weird things on a screen.
Anon
What is serious jewelry that does this while not being notable firstly as very expensive? It might read as bad as an intern with a Birkin going to a union negotiation (for either side).
nuqotw
A string of pearls seems like a classic choice. I have some earrings that cannot possibly be fancy (I got them second hand for 50 euros; yellow metal with some contrasting colored glass) but they do look nice and in my own assessment convey that I am a serious person here for serious reasons.
Anon
I mean, people see so little of your body on Zoom I think a jacket with a shell underneath is fine.
Anon
Yeah, it won’t even be obviously a suit because no one can see the bottom.
Anonymous
I would wear pants anyway, just some standard black dress pants in case you have to unexpectedly stand up.
We’ve all heard the stories..,
Anonymous
Serious meeting go with the suit jacket. That’s my go-to for presenting webinars even though IRL conferences I’d wear something a little artsy. Dresses and patterns don’t translate.
Anon
I’d also like to say that “quiet luxury” pieces are a fail for me for these — they either look PJ or sweats adjacent or like sad oversized neutral sweaters. IDK if in CA it is different but it does not work for me (mid-Atlantic).
I may actually need a top from The Fold for Serious Zooms.
Anonymous
I mean shop if you want to! But no you do not
Need this. Your suit jacket and shell is fine.
Anonymous
I like The Fold for in-person meetings, but for Zoom a blazer with a plain shell works best. I really like my old Going Out Blazer for Zoom even though it no longer feels current off camera.
Anonymous
Just wear a suit jacket and move on? It will look totally fine.
Cat
I don’t understand why these are your only two choices. A jacket over a top with a simple pattern (or maybe over the dress) would do – doesn’t have to be a plain shell?
Anon
OP here — I sized up twice since COVID started and hit perioenopause, so it’s been a cluster, fashion-wise. Not sure how to dress this body and it was a challenge before when our city at least had a BR. Now, I have my funeral suit and that’s it that. Everything else seems so . . . whimsical? Definitely not serious work clothes.
Anonymous
I’m guessing that your general dissatisfaction with how you look and with the clothes available to you—and maybe some anxiety about this ultra-serious meeting itself—is coloring how your view of this suit + shell option. You’d like an outfit that conveys authority and also makes you feel powerful, current, and confident. But truly, what you have is fine. YOU are enough for this meeting.
Anonymous
I feel your pain. I’m dealing with menopausal weight gain and can’t seem to bring myself to buy a new wardrobe. That said, the jacket and shell sounds like a good choice.
NaoNao
I’d say that unless the meeting is like…focused on you particularly, basic simple pieces that are “timeless” and somewhat almost fade into the background are appropriate. If you’re delivering bad news, going over lawsuit stuff, or involved in an investigation or something, a simple, neutral outfit will give the message “I’m here to focus on work”
For what it’s worth, I 100% understand the anxiety. I don’t believe for a second the chorus of women insisting that their CFO wanders around barefoot with twigs in their hair or their marketing rainmaker wears Daisy Dukes and a bikini top and everyone respects the hell out of them because they’re just.so.good! at their job. That bizarre chorus of “what women wear doesn’t matter one bit! Dazzle them with your skill, experience, expertise and personality” is very…irritating to me personally as it erases many women’s lived experience of that feeling when you agonized over an outfit, wore it, and upon showing up, instantly realized it was all wrong for the venue, audience, occasion, etc.
anon
Along this vein, I am a huge proponent that every woman needs a few “big meetings” outfits. At a certain point in your career if you hit the point of meeting with the board or c-suite, you need to bust the budget, go to the “old lady stores” (e.g., st. johns, etc.) and get some grade-a rich b—h business wear. The spoiler is that when you pick well, those clothes last for decades.
anonshmanon
This is also my understanding. You want your appearance to be very standard, respectable but not memorable. I think most here agree that this means not sexy and not particularly cute, and I also think it means classic rather than current/fashionable.
Anonymous
Thank you. I have to attend a lot of conferences (I’m a SME in thought leadership) and I had to laugh at that post the other day recommending midi skirts and banana boots with layered necklaces for a speaking occasion. A banana boot does not convey gravitas, especially if the room has a lot of older men who probably have zero fashion exposure. There is a time and place to be adventurous with dress. Your big, serious meeting or presentation isn’t one of them. And, no, if folks are all in suits and you are wearing leather pants, your skill isn’t going to shine through as easily as it could without the distraction.
Anon
“But it’s from The Row!”
NaoNao
To be scrupulously fair, that OP was asking about **current/fashionable** looks for a presentation and someone mentioned a floral wrap dress + blazer + nude heels (it may have been the OP, not sure) to which others pointed out this is a very dated look. I will say I think one can edge into something more fashion-forward for a filmed TED talk or something vs. a serious HR or legal depo meeting or something.
Anon
Dear OP, Pandemic lockdowns coincided with entering menopause for me, and I have the weight gain (and lack of in-person shopping for four years) to prove it. So I identify with what you are experiencing.
Having said that, I have believed since I graduated college and entered the “real” working world in 1987 that no matter what size you are or what the trends are, “gravely serious” work meetings call for a suit (matching jacket and either pants/suit/dress — and I think pants are too casual for the most serious meetings), a shell or blouse, and real jewelry (pearls or plain gold and/or silver – no other gemstones – matching or coordinating necklace and non-dangling earrings). Is this old-fashioned? Likely yes. Does it convey respect for the seriousness of the meeting? Yes. Will you ever be sorry you wore this? No.
You are going to look perfectly appropriate, and the meeting will go well.
Anon
Pants are not casual. You’d have to go decades back to find the bias that only skirt suits are acceptable in business formal settings. Pantsuits are fine and just as serious as skirt suits.
Anon
You don’t have to go back decades! When I was in Big Law (less than a decade ago) skirt suits were strongly preferred for women in court, especially certain courts/judges. I believe some judges even required them. It is true that pantsuits are acceptable in nearly all settings now, but skirt suits are definitely more formal and preferred in some places.
Anon
I am not that old, and skirt suits were still required when I started practicing in front of pre-Clinton era appointed judges. And, hose, let’s not forget about hose.
Anon
The one edge I’d give to pants now is that you can hem them for pointy-toe plain flats. Well, and also that skirts are a bit crazy at the moment — slits in odd places, lengths that read “but make it fashion,” and just too tight (thanks, TV lawyers). And in spring, your legs are cold and tights that bag can make you look like a kid playing dress up. So I give it to pants now as the “less memorable in a bad way” option.
AnonT
“only skirt suits” — of course not. And I agree that pants are not overly casual for *any* business occasion. But it’s simultaneously true that if you saw someone giving a presentation wearing a suit with a skirt and pumps, your reaction would probably be, “Wow — she really dressed up for this!”
Florida bound
I’m going to an event on a boat in Florida next month and need a shirt to get a logo embroidered/printed on. Any non polo shirt recommendations from Etsy? Sleeveless is fine.
anon
Not Etsy, but how about Gap and Uniqlo. They have plenty of basic tees in solid colors that will do well with logo embroidery.
Anon
I use zazzle for this, they have a lot of nice quality t-shirts in every style.
Anon
PS – the reason I use Zazzle is you can upload your logo and have it printed or embroidered all on one stop.
Anonymous
I’d go for the Target high-necked tank from this season. It comes in many colors including some with’ringer’ details. But maybe you have a reason you want to buy from Etsy
Anon
Any tips for dealing with a manipulative, controlling coworker?
Anon
Look up gray rock method
Anon
Gray rock and document if it rises to the level of abuse. Don’t provide explanations for why you’re not able to do something on their timetable.
Anonymous
Definitely document any phone call agreements so that you create a record.
“Great to speak with you today regarding X. As agreed on our call, for follow up I will be doing research into Y issue and you’re going to loop back to other person with Z. Look forward to our next meeting on xyz date.”
Anonymous
Identify exactly what about this person you’re struggling with. I’ve been through this twice. In both instances, it hurt more because I thought this person was my friend. I wasn’t at a great place in my life and she felt like a lifeline. Even when she proved herself to be untrustworthy, I kept letting myself get dragged back in because I wanted so badly to believe she was the good person and friend I wanted her to be. I wasn’t able to deal with her appropriately until I recognized the pattern. Then it became much easier to see her manipulation tactics for what they were and to maintain icily polite distance.
Anon
Flip side: I went through this with someone who was genuinely abusive. I had no desire to be his pal, just his coworker, and was horrified by his escalating cruelty.
AnoNL
My view is that the contract I signed with my employer assumed some rights and responsibilities on my side and some rights and responsibilities on emoloyer’s side. It is my emoloyer’s responsibility to ensure employees can do their job in a safe and health environment, without being distracted by defending themselves from bullies and manipulative jerks. I would document, raise issue with line manager and potentially HR. It’s their job to deal with this. I did that when people on my team were facing such situations and we departed with said jerks.
job anon
Going anon for this
I am a 2018 JD who started at a V5 but now has a pretty messy resume. I’ve done public M&A, private M&A, healthcare M&A, fund work, energy work but nothing for that long. I’ve bounced around a bit and am now in house at a semiconductor company.
I don’t really have the IP background for it and honestly I don’t like it that much. It’s a big company. Not Nvidia big but big but it doesn’t feel well run or thoughtfully run. And the people in the legal group really aren’t great. I’ve been here a little over a year and I know I need to stay at least 2 years before I think about moving on, but I am starting to think about what that move will look like.
If I took and passed the CIPP/US exam but haven’t really worked in privacy would that help my resume at all?
Anon
In your position, I would stay in-house and my next move would be one focused on M&A. The job hunt might take a bit longer and you might need to move for the right opportunity, but it combines what you’re doing now with what you have done before.
Anon
I think you may be being too hard on yourself. Generalist skills and exposure to many different areas of law are highly valued in-house. Many in-house hiring managers may not hire you for your depth of experience in M&A specifically, but it would be highly attractive that you are a best athlete who is able to work on a variety of corporate matters.
In very large or mature in-house departments, you may be expected to be a specialist, but in a smaller legal department, your variety of skills and positions is an asset, as long as you are able to operate independently, and know when you need to loop in outside counsel. .
Case in point: I’m in house at a late-stage tech company in Silicon Valley. We have two attorneys–me and the commercial attorney. I do corp/securities, employment, international matters (employment, corpgov), real estate, privacy, infosec, compliance/ethics and…M&A. If anything, I would focus your time at this company, whether it’s relevant to your day-to-day, to really beefing up your generalist skillset. Attend TechGC, ACC, ABA, PLI, Berkeley Boosts, In-House Connect, and Contract Nerds webinars. Read up on corporatecounsel.net, lexology, and jdsupra on new and emerging areas of the law. You will learn so much if you treat this job as your “paid apprenticeship” and start to learn a little about a lot. This will make your job more interesting! I know it’s not great to work with not great people, in a staid industry (semis are very technical). But instead, treat this stint on your resume as beefing up your skillsets for your next job, and it will change your mindset.
Onward!
Anon
Did you move around internally within the same firm/company or did you bounce from one company to another? Honestly if you moved around internally it’s fine, you don’t have to go into that much detail and you can focus on the experience that’s most relevant for whatever you’re applying to. People like the CIPP/US as a token “I know about privacy” and it can be good to have if that’s what you want to do, but I’ve done a fair amount of privacy work and don’t have and no one has cared so far. Just take a second to think about what you like to do, what kind of work environment you want to be in, and think thoughtfully about your next move so you can stick around a bit. I’m a bit older than you, was in my first job 4 years and have since moved every 2,5 years or so, and it doesn’t seem to be hurting me in any way.
Anon
I agree that moving around in the same company is fine but a move every 2.5 years to a new one will catch up with you, especially in law. I see that as someone who’s struggling and is probably getting forced out at worst and can’t finish a project and/or is easily dissatisfied at best.
My advice to the OP is similar though, stay put for a while and get some experience. The privacy designation is meaningless unless you’ve actually got actual privacy experience.
Anon
Counterpoint, in private tech, it’s very normal to move every couple of years. The engineers do it to amass a portfolio of private company stock, and so do other employees. We’re highly employable!
Anon
Law is a different story though.
Anon
It’s not though–I know so many in-house tech lawyers that jump every two years. Especially private companies. It’s very normal in Silicon Valley.
Maybe not if you’re at a manufacturer in Cleveland….
Inflation
Anyone else work in or tangent to financial markets? Damn you, inflation. It’s gonna be a day (and a long few months imho). Stay strong.
ABanon
No personally, but tell us more. What’s special about today?
Anon
I think they’re referencing the worse than expected inflation report.
Anon
I think they’re referencing the worse than expected inflation report.
anonymous
Thanks Biden!
ha
Seriously?
Anon
Would Trump have been much better?
Anon
Before blaming the Biden Administration, you might google the inflation rates in other countries coming out of Covid. And while you are at it, look at economic growth and unemployment rates. This is not (just) a US problem It is worldwide. Maybe thank Putin for causing food and energy prices to spike?
Anon
Right. The initial spike in inflation happened while Trump was still president.
There’s plenty of evidence that sellers like grocers & gas stations just like the higher profits associated with higher prices. I don’t know why the giant hand isn’t fixing it, but it sure feels like a cartel.
Anonymous
This
Anon
LOL
Anon
What exactly is Biden supposed to be doing to stop inflation that he’s not doing?
anon
I don’t get it
Anonymous consultant
Hello, what to expect during the divorce discovery phase?
We are solidly middle-class with 3 kids, but I haven’t had a lot of visibility into our finances and I don’t emotionally trust my husband. No evidence of cheating or squirreling funds away… but no generosity either. He seems to have been planning a divorce for a while.
I am leaning towards discovery but how much time and expense does it add to the process and how does it affect the couple and family going from less formal settlement talks to a more formal process? And when is it worth it?
Thanks
Anon
I’d at least ask for 401k balances and all 1099s from all accounts and a credit check to see open accounts but I’m usually looking for a mistress or secret family and a family business used to make things opaque in a bad way. His taxes are due next week if doing MFS for 2023 so he should have much of this.
Anonymous
Lack of visibily into finances in light of him planning things for a while are certainly issues I would want to know more about.
Is custody an issue or just finances?
Anon
Do you have your tax returns? That’s a starting point at least. If you’re still in the home together, I’d also start snooping.
Anon
You need to talk to an experienced family/divorce law attorney in your local area. This can differ dramatically across states and even counties. In my area, discovery is almost always written in divorce cases. I’ve never taken a depo in a divorce case, but that is not always the case depending on different areas. I usually try to informally request documents and information from opposing counsel first. If it is not forthcoming, then I file the formal discovery requests (interrogatories and requests for production of documents). All attorneys are going to want to do some formal or informal discovery in order to advise you of what you should be negotiating for or seeking in litigation. We can’t do our job otherwise. The only time I will not do discovery at all is if the client comes in and says, we’ve already agreed to x,y,x, I just need you to help me formalize it and finalize the divorce. And I’m confident that they understand my limited role there. I also tell all of my clients to consider the real world impact of litigating a divorce. Is the extra $20k from an asset worth the emotional stress to you and your family to litigate? I’ll litigate it all day for you if you have a valid claim for it, but I’m not the one that has to live with the situation after. I want to empower my clients to get what the law allows them to, but they also need to factor in the real world relationships that it will impact.
Anon
This is fantastic advice, particularly the part about considering the costs (emotional and financial) of litigation.
Anon
This is great advice.
Adding the client perspective – my husband and I went through a custody and support modification proceeding with his ex, and, heading to move to formal discovery (which included formal production requests, interrogatories, and deposition of his ex) was incredibly expensive and stressful and made a troubled co-parenting relationship even worse. It was necessary (and we were successful), but awful. Finding a good family lawyer to talk through the cost-benefit is crucial. If you really just don’t have a good sense of your marital finances, I would hope you’d be able to get the clarity you need through informal requests.
Not feeling emotionally safe with your soon to be ex is, frankly, par for the course (speaking from my own experience with my divorce from my first husband) – it’s an adjustment, but you have to realize you’re no longer partners. A good lawyer, who isn’t emotionally involved in the way you are, can help you look past the hurt to figure it what you actually need so you don’t blow $$$$ on litigation when it’s money you should really spend on therapy.
Anon
If you are in California, it is standard to send each other the “I and E” request form (income and expenses). I assume there is also an assets version, but I don’t know it off hand. If you are not in California, you can find those forms online and copy them.
My husband found out that his exing wife has bought a house with her mom (before she left) and not told him, so I would not skip this.
Anon
*HAD bought a house
Anon
https://www.courts.ca.gov/documents/fl150.pdf
Anon
https://www.courts.ca.gov/documents/fl150.pdf
Senior Attorney
In California, the court cannot and will not grant a divorce unless at least the bare minimum financial disclosures are exchanged. So you can’t skip it even if you want to.
Anon
If you think your soon to be ex has been sneaky about this, you might end up doing what one of my close friends did. She, through her attorney, hired a forensic accountant. They found literally millions of dollars of community property her cheating husband had systematically hiding over the year he was planning to leave her for the other woman.
Anon
Are you two still in the same house together? One of the best pieces of advice I got while going through my divorce was “if it’s still in your house, it’s still yours to discover” in regards to financial statements. My now-ex had a few account that I knew about in theory but didn’t have visability to. Before we split houses, I went through all of the files and paperwork in the house and recorded accounts, account numbers, copied statements, etc. It was very helpful to ensure that he was honest about his financial picture, which he tried not to be until confronted with the fact that I knew more than he thought I did.
Work Phone
Okay I see dresses like these and they’re cute – but how do you style it? I think a blazer would fight with the collar and belt, but a cardigan seems too casual. Do you wear a shirt underneath?
Anon
I wouldn’t do any layering with it and would instead wear a necklace and maybe some bracelets.
Anon
I would wear it as it’s styled in the photo. No cardigan or blazer.
anon88
I would wear it on its own or with a turtleneck under it
Senior Attorney
Meghan Markle wore dresses like this all the time when she was first married, and she didn’t put anything over or under them: https://www.hola.com/us/fashion/20191016fieeyjx4ex/meghan-markle-trench-dress-fashion-vv/
Anon
That’s why I don’t like this style. I don’t go bare-armed to the office, I’d be too cold anyway, and it’s hard to find something that looks good to wear over it.
Anonymous
what about a longer jardigan like the Merritt?
I’ve also seen those mesh turtlenecks and tops layered under vests and dresses — like this one
https://www.nordstrom.com/s/7683188?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FAll%20Results&color=530
https://www.nordstrom.com/s/free-people-under-it-all-ruched-mesh-turtleneck-bodysuit/7201286?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FAll%20Results&color=005
https://www.nordstrom.com/s/afrm-kaylee-print-mesh-top/7475220?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FAll%20Results&color=247
Anon
I’d wear a collarless blazer – J crew going out blazer is a great shape for this sort of dress
Anon
You definitely wouldn’t wear a jacket or sweater over this dress, it would be like wearing a blazer over a blazer.
Runcible Spoon
This dress has bad reviews — apparently, the only closure is one button near the waist, nothing higher up, so leaning down or just being moderately to well-endowed will not work with this dress, the girls will be on display. Potentially, this could be remedied by sewing in a snap or using a safety pin, but unmodified, the reviews suggest this is a no go.
K18
fyi, for anyone using or interested in K18, Costco is now carrying it and the price for 5oz is just under the cost of 1.7oz most other places.
I’ve been using it for a few months now. I dye my hair lighter so try to deep condition to prevent too much damage. Overall, it’s been good for my hair though I wouldn’t say it’s been a drastic change. but certainly good enough to stock up at this price.
Anon
Thank you. I just bought my first 5 oz bottle after test-driving and really liking the 1.7 oz. We are a Costco household, so next time I need to buy, it will be from Costco.
Anon
I wish I could get Olaplex at Costco.
FP
Check online often. I bought the 33 oz Olaplex 4 and 5 online a few months ago at Costco’s website. $60 through Costco vs $95 at Sephora!
Anon
Omg thank you!
Anon
does anyone have a walking pad they like? priorities are quiet, easy to move and a bar that pulls up (scared of falling flat on my face bc i dont plan on using it with a desk)
NYC Trip Reccs
Re-posting for more feedback (thanks to all who commented – poster who shared Sleep No More, I am seriously bummed that it’s sold out for our dates). Added in plans for BK!
We are taking a last-minute anniversary weekend trip to NYC next weekend. Born and bred Brooklyner here, but haven’t been back in years. I want to show my partner where I grew up so we will spend a ~half day in BK (starting in Coney) but the rest will be in the city. Planned things there are ESB and a Broadway show, but that’s it. Any reccs for:
– fun things to do (we like music, theater, parks, botanical gardens, the water) or sites where I can find what’s happening in town that weekend
– favorite Marriott properties in the city
– favorite spots for coffee, bagels, knishes (partner has never had one – a TRAVESTY), and any fave spots in general
THANKS!
Anonymous
Go to Nargis (near Coney Island) for Uzbek food!
anon
I’d get tickets to Cabaret if it is open in time for your trip. Looks to be amazing. I’ve done a million things in NYC, and would suggest the Met Cloisters as something that I thought wouldn’t be worth the effort but definitely was.
Anonymous
I’m a NYCer who moved away – I love the IG account bestambiance.nyc for really cool looking spots, and @thekatieromero for cool things to do.
Anonymous
For theatre, I recommend Stereophonic – everyone I know who saw it Off-broadway LOVED it, and I have also heard great things about the Broadway production. It hasn’t opened yet so prices aren’t quite insane. There are a ton of other new shows opening night now in the lead up to the Tonys.
The cherry trees in Brooklyn Botanical garden (and all over the city) are starting to bloom.
NYNY
Yonah Schimmel is the source for knishes, but you could also go to B&H Dairy, where they sell Yonah Schimmel knishes, along with excellent bagels and bialys. (I’m assuming next weekend means the weekend of the 20th? Because I believe both places close for Passover, which starts on 4/22.)
The NY Botanical Garden in the Bronx has it’s Orchid Show going right now, including nighttime options with cocktails and performances, tickets required.
Anonymous
See Kimberly Akimbo! It won the Tony, was EXCELLENT, and closes in a few weeks.
Anonymous
Any resources or suggestions for picking an exterior house color? This isn’t our forever home so it can’t be too quirky. It’s a two story craftsman that’s currently white with blue trim and a gray roof. We have been going in circles for awhile and have tested a ton of grays and blues without deciding.
Work Phone
It’s so easy to get in the weeds on paint colors. Check out the palettes that the big paint brands put together – Benjamin Moore and Sherwin Williams have good options.
Anon
My .02, go with a classic combo – white with black trim and a red door; very dark grey with white trim and black accents and I’m sure there’s others but those are my favorites.
Cerulean
I feel like black and white with a red door can look very nice on a colonial home, but craftsman homes are traditionally an earthy color scheme.
OP, I would do an image search for craftsman home paint colors and see what you like.
Anonymous
I agree. If the house is genuinely of the craftsman style and era, a cool-toned or crisp color scheme will likely be at odds with the house.
Senior Attorney
Do you have a relationship with a realtor who works in your neighborhood? Ask them.
Anon
If you are working with a siding company, usually the OEM for the siding will have color visualizer tools on their website so you upload an image and play with different siding and trim colors. (Ex. My preferred siding company uses EDCO products and I’ve been able to narrow in a siding color using their website)
house
I’m not the OP, but appreciate the post and am following. Along the lines of this post, has anyone found an website that allows you to upload a picture and play with color combos? I tried this once…. can’t remember the site…. and couldn’t get it to work.
I’m in a stucco house with wood trim, and want to steer to warmer colors to blend better with the surrounding greenery – lots of trees/bushes.
Anon
About uploading photos and playing with color combos — I think I was able to do this years ago with Sherwin Williams, and I imagine they (and probably other paint companies) have better software now.
Anon
Why not green trim? It’s authentic to the arts and crafts style. For the all over paint color I’d go with a warm white.
anon
With a Craftsman style house, I would look at historical color schemes. Warm colors are especially brilliant on Craftsman style homes. If you’re not finding a blue or gray that ticks the boxes, there may be a reason why. Start from scratch!
Anon
Maria Killam has a lot of articles on her blog about picking exterior colors. If you like her approach, she also has a paid service where you send her photos of house and surroundings and she makes recommendations. But try the free resources first.
Chl
Our four square is BM horizon gray with Gibraltar cliffs trim as well as I think white dove. I had seen a house I liked and tracked down the owner on Facebook. They had deserted island instead of the white but it looked funny against our white windows.
Anon
White with olive trim.
Anon
What’s an icebreaker idea for small group (~10) that isn’t going around the room and asking everyone to answer a question? Bonus for things on the shorter side. Things I’ve thought of: rock paper scissors tournament, watching a drawing video and drawing the same thing together along with the video, doing some kind of “one word” improv game where we make up a story as we each say a word in turn… open to anything!
Carrots
I was looking up icebreakers the other day and found a website from Session Lab with 61 different ice breakers. I’ll post the direct in a different comment so it doesn’t get stuck, but if you searched for those keywords, you may find it
Carrots
https://www.sessionlab.com/blog/icebreaker-games/
Cat
I’ve only done this in a group of 20, but everyone sends a r-ndom fact to the organizer ahead of time, and then you mingle and talk to people and try to figure out who matches what fact. Examples range from “was an Olympic rower” to “did musicals in high school”.
alternatively, nothing, please G-d, nothing.
Anon
+1 million for nothing.
Anonymous
There’s a game where the leader picks a word and writes it on a card. The next person moves that card to the back of the pile, and draws the word. They then pass the pile to the next person, and the person moves that card to the back of the pile and guesses what they think that picture is. And so on and so on until everyone has had a turn. It’s like “telephone” with pictures and it’s very funny to see how the word/pictures morph over time.
Sunflower
PLEASE don’t make me draw anything! I’m the worst artist in the world.
Anon
Have you asked yourself if you have to do an icebreaker? Will these 10 people ever work together after this? Is it a better use of time to just get started with the content of what you’re all meeting about? (Can you tell I’m bitter about having my time wasted . . . )
anon
I would hate all of these, fwiw. I really dislike being put on the spot around people I don’t know well.
Anon
A mini pub trivia round. Break them up into 2 teams and see who wins.
Anonymous
Must you? I hate ice breakers so much.
Nesprin
What is your goal for an icebreaker?
To get people warmed up to talk? Try a quick show of hands survey
To introduce folks to each other? Standard name-purpose for being here-fun fact
To waste 30 min? put coffee in the hall and use the time for tech issues
NaoNao
My best icebreaker was actually finding something related to the topic of the meeting–in my case, AI. I went around and asked everyone for their current best tip/trick for using our internal engine and got a GREAT discussion out of it, plus a little hat tip from the leadership as their pet project is “AI”. Maybe try to find a way to make it tie to the meeting? I think many people are exhausted by the forced good cheer of “ice breakers” no matter how clever, funny, or cool–and I advocate for something lightly personal (“how do you use/tips”) + related to work.
Anon
For those of us who like to use shadow sticks, I wanted to highlight that Bobbi Brown is now making a long wear eyeliner, which is like their long wear shadow sticks, but with a point. There’s a built in sharpener to keep the point honed. I wore it yesterday and it did last all day, which is something I don’t usually get with pencil eyeliners.
Anonymous
Thank you. I need this but do not keep up with current makeup.
Anon
The holy grail pencil longwear eyeliner is definitely Urban Decay. It’s the best.
Anon
My friend’s daughter will be turning one and I want to get her a print to hang on her wall (not the most exciting present for a kid but she has an older sib and they have plenty of toys). Her name means “night” in Arabic and she is part Syrian. I was thinking of finding an artist on Etsy who can make a painting of her name in Arabic written with stars in the night sky or something. Any other ideas?
Anon
That sounds darling.
Anon
Yeah that’s a great idea and Etsy is the right place to find this
Anon
this is a know your audience thing, but i’m particular about the stuff on my kids’ walls. i’d do something that can also be in a frame and put on top of a dresser, etc. in case they don’t want to hang it on the wall. another idea is one of those personalized books with the kid’s name. Wonderbly makes some interesting ones. We have the one The Little Girl Who Lost Her Name
anon
I’m pretty particular too but a friend got me a photo of the “Fearless Girl” staring down the Wall Street bull for my daughters’ room and I absolutely love it.
Seventh Sister
I remember my father in law decided to just randomly install a mirror on my kids’ wall when she was a toddler and I nearly blew my top. Who thinks that’s OK? But I’d be pleased if a friend got me something I could potentially hang.
Anon
That is very sweet. I found an etsy artist who did customized prints when my kids were little & I decorated my then 4 year old son’s room that way. I got him posters of a robot and of a spaceship, things he was then into, both of which incorporated his name into the design. I got them framed & they hung in his room for close to 10 years.
Anonymous
My husbands dad got a him piece of art depicting the night sky over the racetrack where he was born on the night he was born. It was really cool because it just looked like a picture of stars. And everyone likes to remember that he was born on the side of the parkway at the racetrack.
Anonymous
There is an Islamic art tradition, if that is relevant to you friend, that involves no pictures depicting anthing in particular. There is a reason for mosaics and geometric art being traditional. So that could mean no skyes and stars, but that the name would be okay – if that is relevant.
No Face
I have some Muslim relatives and my understanding is that there is a religious prohibition in depictions of animals and humans, hence the gorgeous calligraphy and mosaics. OP may want to run her idea by her friend.
Anonymous
mosaics, geometric art and *calligraphy.* tons of Arab and Muslim art is calligraphy. Even the al Jazeera logo is.
get Laila /Leila done in stylized Arabic calligraphy, I think it’s a great idea, and I’m sure you could find an Etsy artist to make something beautifully.
Anon
As a Muslim, stars and skyes are more than fine, I mean the crescent moon is often the default depiction for Islam in many cases. Almost all Ramadhan and Eid decor involves moon and stars. And I would also add that unless her friend is very extreme Salafi (unlikely!) animals are totally fine too. Most Muslims also consider art depicting people is fine as long as it’s not the Prophet or someone very well known historic religions figures.
what people actually wore to a conference
I’ve seen a bunch of questions lately on what to wear to a work conference in 2024 – I was at a very large conference a few weeks ago and thought I’d share what I noticed! For context, this was in Vegas, marketing/tech industry, 5000+ attendees, so a big mix of ages, industries, etc.
attendees: Zero skirts. I maybe saw 1 woman wearing any kind of skirt. Not many dresses at all either. I’d say about 60-70% wearing some form of dress pants – some statement, some standard, a few skinny but mostly straight leg, crop, flare, wide leg. Blazers were pretty popular (maybe driven by chilly conference rooms) and definitely lots of the semi-oversized fit, bold colors or interesting textures. Shoes – less sneakers than I was expecting, based on comments here & the amount of walking required! Chunky loafers were the most common. Shockingly I saw a handful of women in heels (why! how!) – was expecting that to be 0!
speakers: definitely a level up from attendees. More dresses here, but pants + blazer was for sure the most frequent combo. Interesting blazers, cool blouses (like Fold-esque), very neutral colors.
Anon
I go to a handful of conferences per year. I was at one a month ago and my observations were the same as yours. No skirts, few dresses – I wore one because my pants needed hemming for the shoes I decided to wear, but I probably shouldn’t have, because that place was freezing.
The only women I saw in heels were sales rep types doing booth duty. Even then, how! indeed. That involves a lot of standing!
Anonymous
has anyone gotten stuff from jones road beauty? what’s your review?
Anon
That balm stuff is awfully sticky. I wear a primer in lieu of foundation and it was a big no for me for that purpose as it was sticky all over my face and a little too glow-y for my taste. I like the eyeliner pencil – it is easy to use, will smudge if you want a softer line, but generally stays put. The mascara is okay, nothing special. That’s all I’ve used.
Anon
Agree. If you like the feeling of Vaseline all over your face and your hair constantly being stuck to it, then Jones Road is the brand for you!
edj3
I use most of it. The balms are sticky, I don’t have dry skin so I don’t really use them except for one as blush.
Products I like:
The WTF foundation, although I had to get used to it as I was using something fairly drying before.
The eye shadow (I use the powder version and really like them) and the eye pencils.
The brow pencil and the concealer pencils.
The eye cream but I’m fairly indiscriminate with eye cream.
The lip gloss (sorry forget the official name) is good, so is Lippy which you can use on your lips or as blush.
I dislike most of the balms especially the ones that sparkle. I felt like a disco ball in that one. And I intensely dislike the brow gel. It’s very goopy and hard to get out a reasonable amount without losing a lot of product.
I haven’t tried the mascara, and don’t plan to as I’m happy with the one I’m using.
Anonymous
Gummy.