ByElizabeth Hours Updated
Comments 179 Comments

Frugal Friday’s Workwear Report: Soft-Touch Scuba Seamed Midi Dress

This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

A woman wearing a dark blue midi dress with black loafers, carrying a black handbag

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

I bought this dress from Banana Republic Factory to wear for some post-work, business casual events I have coming up this spring, and I’m absolutely loving it. The fabric is so, so soft, and while I hate to use this word, I can’t help but say that the cut is incredibly flattering.

Pair with flats for a comfy office look, and add your favorite sneakers for a post-work minor league sports event. 

The dress is $50 and comes in sizes XXS-XXL. It also comes in black. 

Sales of note for 5/14/25:

  • Nordstrom Rack – Looking for a deal on a Dyson hairdryer? The Rack has several refurbished ones for $199-$240 (instead of $400+) — but they're final sale only.
  • Ann Taylor – Suit Yourself! 30% off suiting (ends 5/16) + 25% off your full price purchase (ends 5/18) + extra 60% off sale (ends 5/14)
  • Talbots – 40% off all markdowns (ends 5/18) + 30% off dresses, skirts, accessories, and shoes
  • Nordstrom – Beauty Deals up to 25% off (ends 5/17)
  • Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 25% off
  • Boden – 10% off new women's styles with code + sale up to 50% off
  • Eloquii – Up to 60% off everything + extra 60% off sale + $1 shipping on all orders
  • J.Crew – Up to 50% off long-weekend styles + 50% off select swim and coverups
  • J.Crew Factory – Extra 50% off clearance + extra 15% off $100+ + extra 20% off $125+
  • M.M.LaFleur – Lots of twill suiting on sale! Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off.
  • Rothy's – Up to 50% off last-chance styles
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off

179 Comments

  1. Oh, this is a good pick! (I work full remote, so no need for formal office wear.)

    Regarding yesterday afternoon’s thread: I am the one who said that her relationship status is both horrifying and amusing, sort of like a mariachi band playing next to a dumpster fire.

    In many ways, I was being completely serious (nasty divorce, some DV, not enough to get custody of our child; some lovely and some um, good but definitely gardening-motivated men have expressed interest). However, it seems like some readers took it to mean that I was making fun of them. That wasn’t my intention, but that’s a completely reasonable reading of what wrote in context of the thread. I’m sorry if I hurt anyone.

    1. I thought that was pretty obvious from your post. When life is terrible, lots of people get through it with humor and by laughing at absurdity of the situation. Within reason, at least, it’s a healthy coping mechanism, definitely better than taking offense at everything. I’m sorry you’re in a bad situation, and I’m heartbroken about the state of our country, but running about in a state of panic all day and ranting to like minded people about how terrible things are isn’t going to make things better.

    2. Your comment absolutely did not rise to the level of apology. That comment thread was fine—people were just poking fun at themselves and the community they actively choose to participate in. I hope your situation improves!

    3. For what it’s worth, it was me who said I come here for the threads on relationships & travel, and I was sincere about my interest in those. Definitely not mocking but just noting why I’m not engaged in political posts.

    4. It’s really cool to see someone taking accountability for the impact of their actions, even though the intent was different.

      I teach these concepts to my students but it’s rare to see adults practicing it in the wild.

      1. If only the woman who made this woman feel bad for an innocuous comment would do the same!

        1. Right. I’m not a believer that someone’s mistaken perception counts as “impact.”

          1. I’m not the commenter above, but I do think that impact is 100% perception and can sometimes be mistaken. Doesn’t mean the damage wasn’t done.

            I am a college prof and I have worked with some very sensitive students who have had overblown reactions to things I’ve said. I still apologized for the impact, because it did upset them. The other faculty members present were just as confused as I was as to why the students were upset.

            My husband and I have both said things to each other that, due to mistaken perception, upset the other. That is also an apology moment for the impact – not the intent behind it.

  2. Ok I’ll start. I hate scuba fabric. I accidentally ordered a dress from poshmark with scuba fabric and I’m furious about it. The description said ponte, and I have a ponte version of the dress, but it was actually the scuba version.

    1. if the description was incorrect, you should be able to get a refund, no?

      I don’t mind scuba fabric when it’s new, but laundry is a pain. Heaven forbid you’ve done a load of towels within the past 6 months, scuba will find the remaining lint in the washing machine.

      1. I wonder if there is a way you could make lemonade (or a swiffer) from that knowledge / mistake.

      2. FWIW, I do not understand the poshmark love because you can rarely return anything. I’ve sold on there and always select the final sale options.

      3. Part of why I don’t buy on Poshmark anymore is because they don’t really protect the buyer. I bought a dress that was filtered to misrepresent the color, and couldn’t return it. Have also received obviously altered dresses and couldn’t return. It’s left a bad taste, and so I don’t buy. Terrible to deal with if there is any kind of a problem.

      1. I know. This was a particular dress that I have a few of, but one fabric is the textured ponte and I love it and the other, for whatever nonsense reason, is made of scuba fabric. I squinted so hard at the pictures trying to make sure!

        Anyway, I accepted it before I opened it because sometimes it takes me awhile to get to my rural post office.

  3. Is there a “medical terms for dummies” out there anywhere? Like I am learning the hard way and in an urgent hurry that “full code” for a parent with a DNR and advance directive are in open conflict with each other.

    1. Does the hospital have a healthcare advocate? Or a type of social worker who could help translate?

      You need a lawyer for conflicting directives issues, but I understand there might not be time for that. Sorry you’re going through this. Sending you strength.

      1. +1 on this advice. OP, I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. End of life decisions are made extra hard because so many of us (including me) don’t find out many of the nuances until they’re having to make urgent decisions for a loved one.

    2. Truth and commiseration. As a person who has a non-health care office job, I thought that “full code” meant the opposite of what it does mean. Code means dead, yes? So full code *should* mean that they are allowed to die naturally. Except it means exactly the opposite. But no one takes the time to explain what the terms means.

    3. There actually are books called Complete Idiot’s Guide to Caring for Aging Parents and Eldercare for Dummies – maybe see if your library has those as e-books?

  4. Looking for recommendations for small purses that pack well in a suitcase and are neutral enough to work with a variety of outfits. I can’t decide between something that is flat or something structured that I can use like a packing cube when in the suitcase.

    2. I have a flat black envelope clutch that packs well (flat!) and goes easily into a bigger bag like a laptop tote. Metallic might work in situations (Easter Sunday / when you are wearing a lot of pastels or happy colors) where black seems to stark or off-mood.

    3. Depending on whether you’re looking for professional or casual, I have a couple of suggestions. My daily purse is the Lo & Sons Waverly. It’s small enough to go inside my work backpack for daily commuting or travel, but holds what I absolutely need for running out to lunch, running errands, etc. For casual, I have a Uniqlo bag (I think it’s a previous version of the round mini shoulder bag) that is super light, takes up almost no room in a suitcase, and holds all my basics, including sunglasses and sunscreen, if needed.

    4. I take 2 purses on vacation:
      1. a Lo&Sons black clutch that I got ages ago, Pearl maybe? It has a detachable strap so it can be a crossbody but I normally use it to go out to dinner or run down to the pool etc. It packs flat in my rollaboard.
      2. An MZ Wallace crossbody bag with all the pockets. The inner zipped pocket is large enough for my wallet/phone to protect against pickpockets/cutting out the bottom of the bag. Also water resistant so I don’t worry about rain or walks behind waterfalls. I pack this bag open at the bottom of my backpack and put camera etc. equipment inside it – makes it easier to pull out the electronics if needed at security (I have global entry but foreign airports don’t care about that).

    5. My workhorse purse was an old MZ Wallace crossbody (the Paige) with a million pockets. I’ve been considering getting a new one that is a bit more up to date for some upcoming travel, but just looked and there isn’t one that looks like a good update… so following!

      1. Maybe try the brand Baggallini. Created by flight attendants to be travel friendly (or something like that). I have a black nylon crossbody with convenient pockets. It’s also lightweight and could lay flat to be packable.

    6. The Uniqlo round mini shoulder bags are super casual but take up no space and are highly functional. Or the Baggu crescent bag if you like the look more.

  5. I just returned this dress. The fabric is thick and soft, and I have other scuba pieces from BRF that are great. But the seaming on this shows every single lump and bump underneath, of which I have several. Super disappointing but turns out vertical princess seams are not my friend. I need a defined waist seam instead.

    1. I need princess + a defined waist. I am dainty, DAINTY, up top. And strong, like ox, otherwise.

  6. Crowdsourcing ideas from all you experts for a conundrum I’m having about organizing information at work – I was wondering if anyone has suggestions for keeping track of information for something a year out. I hire a several individuals to staff an event, and because of the nature of the work, we tend to hire 6 months to a year out. Lately I’ve been really bad at remembering details a year later, things like why certain people had certain start dates, or dates when they aren’t available. The dates themselves are written in the contract, but not the why. So when someone comes back and asks if they can start later or earlier I can’t remember why the contract dates were established in the first place. Or another example is someone says they aren’t available this year because of X conflict, remembering to check in with them to see if they can sub in if the need arises. Or someone says they prefer not to work on X type of event, I don’t want to keep offering them that slot. Often times these are verbal discussions, so there’s no email chain to look up. And sometimes the notes are written in my notebook, but a year later, it’s hard to track those details down. I think in my mind, I would have a rolodex and write these details on everyone’s card – is there a modern day equivalent of that idea?

    1. Can you include all of this in an addendum to the staffing agreement? Run it by your Legal team first to ensure that this won’t cause headaches.

      Another option is to make a folder in your computer for each person and put everything in there: staffing contract, a Word document with notes, scans of the paper notes, their resume, etc.

      Third option: dump all of this into an Excel sheet.

      1. I would use Excel for this. I had a massive vendor management spreadsheet at my last job, and these are the sorts of things that would go in the notes.

      2. Excel is the way. I manage a lot of stakeholders and I have spreadsheets for everything: their title and department including bosses going up 1-2 levels in case escalation is needed, stakeholder’s admin names and contact, main area of expertise or concerns they raised in projects, … Sometimes I even include notes like “will get married in June”, or “going on mat leave in May”, “has 5 dogs and loves hiking”.
        A spreadsheet helps tremendously with keeping track when people leave or are onboarded, and keeping my manager up to date because they sometimes ask who’s representing X function in my teams.

    3. I would either use Excel or onenote for this. I have used both for projects depending on the type of info… In either case I have a tab/page that breaks out the staff for a project, their RAA. We often will have a column noting PTO dates/other major unavailable times. Then that is directly with the overall project schedule, meeting minutes. I normally have a tab dedicated to key decisions as well, which outlines any context i may need. If you have a project management type software, you could also go ahead and just block the persons availability/assign them to the dates as appropriate

    4. Do you use Office 365? This is the kind of thing I’d just keep a running one note file on.

    5. The best system is something that fits naturally with how you already work.
      Where and how are the contracts stored? Use that same location to store a file (computer or paper) with all the notes on the people — a page for each person. Sometimes if I’m doing paper, I’ll have a cover page for each person where I can jot all the notes, and clip the contracts/agreements to it. You can do the same thing electronically (in Word, excel, Notes, a database program, Google docs — whatever you already use). Since you take notes in a paper notebook, paper might work for you, where you can rip out the notebook page and put it with the person’s info. Whatever you do, make it the simplest form possible, or you won’t stick with it or remember to use it. If that means a legal pad with a page for each person, so be it.

    6. Would including notes in the Outlook appointment for the event on your calendar be helpful?

    7. I love airtable (I manage event speakers). I can set up columns however I need (dates, tagging, notes) and (more important) create columns where I can upload attachments. So for this, I would order be the calendar days and have the contracts and a column with any notes I one place. The templates with the free version are great. You don’t have to be a techie to be up and running

    9. I would create a project plan for all of your events for the year and have a sheet for staffing (I’m also a Smartsheet fan). If you have multiple events, you can create buckets for each event with dependencies (event tasks) that roll up to that event with relevant deadlines. Add a sheet for budget and everything you need should be in one place for easy reference.

  7. Great laptop tote recommendations? With a travel sleeve for a wheelie bag handle? I feel like I have tried many and need a fresh one every 3-5 years (this is a year). Budget not really an issue. But I hate that while maybe you can get to a Tumi store, you can’t really try out many things (and our Tumi store seems geared to dudes who want to feel like MacGyver on work travel vs someone who just wants a laptop tote). I need something that is pretty old-school corporate looking (I have plenty of bags for when I bring the laptop camping, which I did during COVID plenty).

    1. I have better luck trying out Tumi at Nordstroms than a Tumi store, so you could check that out if you have one near you. I have been looking for a new one, the ones I am currently considering are the Beis work tote, Tumi cam large tote, tumi valetta tote, and the dagne dover daily tote. You have a lot more flexibility in options if you have a 13 inch laptop.

    3. I like the Lo&Sons tote with replaceable sleeves. The leather-looking sleeve has held up better than my last Tumi bag, which got slouchy over time (~5 years of daily use; I’ve had the L&S bag just as long and it still stands upright on its own). When I travel, I swap out for the nylon sleeve that slips over a wheelie handle.

    5. Lo & Sons excels in this arena. I use the Brookline (purchased on Poshmark because its discontinued), the OG, and the Seville.

    6. LOVE LOVE my Knomo London Grosvenor Place Laptop tote. Excellent customer service. Mine is more than 15 years old and holding up great. Cannot recommend highly enough!

  8. I was tired of black pants so I got a pair that is bit more than than off-white. I was aiming for the sort of shades-of-cream and tan and white that Quiet Luxury influencers do so well. Ladies, it was not well-executed. It felt a step off of corporate khaki and all I needed for them was a logo-polo. So bad. So, so bad.

    Can light tan pants work? What to the Jenni Kayne people and influencers do that I fail at?

    One sneaking suspicion: I am a brunette with ruddy skin and maybe I am just too foreign to this color scheme. I need white or black around my face, I think. But maybe it’s just never going to work with my coloring and it’s just something to move away from or work into an outfit with very different colorways (like maybe with a lot of white or with white + blue, thinking that white + black may make the black stick out as too stark).

    1. Cream and tan are terrible on me, while white and cool grays are lovely. Therefore I do not try to make the former work for me! Think charcoal pants with a white silk blouse and a light gray vest or cable-knit sweater. Same effect, but I look elegant rather than jaundiced.

      1. Same! OP, I also have reddish undertones and find creams / tans exacerbate them (while still making me look very pale). I’ve had more luck with cooler tones as Cat recommends. White and navy is a go to combo for me (black can sometimes be too harsh).

      2. Agree. I have the same coloring and never wear any shade of tan or cream and don’t wear much black or white either. Most of my wardrobe is shades of blue and gray.

    2. What was the material of the pants you tried? The point of Quiet Luxury is that the materials are well … luxurious. Which often means thicker fabrics with more texture so you don’t get the unicolor that screams corporate khakis.

    4. I believe slightly cool toned or more “refined” versions of tan/khaki rather than warm or washed out or “everyday” khaki colors tend to look more luxe and upscale and wear more easily. Like a griege or a mushroom or oyster/pearl rather than a solid chino tan.

  9. Recommendations for fidgets/ ways to pay attention during a work conference?
    I’m going to a work conference next week with people a step or two up from me (they’re Dept Managers and Directors, and I’m a Sr Coordinator hoping for promotion in the next year). My team going is me, my boss, and grandboss, and others will be from orgs in other states, going to a conference at our national parent. This is a big opportunity for me, and I want to present myself well.
    I have ADHD, and I absorb information and can pay attention SOOO much better when I’m working on something with my hands. At my (very casual) org, no one bats an eye at me taking out my embroidery during meetings, but that doesn’t seem appropriate here.
    Recommendations? Thoughts? TIA!

    1. doodling on paper? Mindlessly sketching on a conference-center notebook is pretty common even among people without ADHD, so would blend in.

      1. I doodle. My ADHD husband has some tactile stickers on his water bottle (professional, natch) and notebook so he can fidget. There are a million ADHD-marketed fidgets out there, though. My kids have some soft & silent ones for school.

      1. To the OP – is your team familiar with your embroidering during meetings? If they are then the rest of the audience can deal. I think you’ll definitely have some interesting conversations about it during the work breaks, though.

        1. Ack, I will admit that until I read this thread, it never crossed my mind that someone would embroider as an ADHD fidget. Now that I’ve read it, I get it. But that would not be my first guess as to why someone is embroidering during a meeting. I think it absolutely makes sense in your place of work where you know your colleagues and vice versa, but I would not do it when making a good first impression during a condensed period of time is important. FWIW, to me, an actual fidget or doodling is clear that you are occupying your hands while engaged in the meeting, but sewing or embroidering does not send this same signal to me.

    3. A spinner ring that you can play with during meetings, w bonus for grooves or textures so you can mix it up?

    4. I have a good memory and never look at notes, but I frequently take notes to ensure I pay attention. I do this when I’m moderating a meeting, too, or I will zone out and daydream.

      1. I make it more fun by getting really nice paper and pens and focusing on my penmanship.

      3. +1 – if I take notes, I pay attention and remember things. If not I zone out. Although I do find as I get older that I actually do not remember everything in my notes when I go back and look at them.

      4. I think that might just be all I can do, take notes and doodle. I like the idea of a couple different colored pens; not enough to look like I brought an artist’s studio, but enough to make the notes and doodling a bit more interesting.
        I will NOT be bringing my laptop in, to resist the temptation of online distractions that would absolutely not be professional.

    5. Will you have a surface and outlet access (or breaks to charge) so you can use your laptop? I’d read here or shop or vacation plan during the session and pretend I’m taking notes.

      1. I was going to suggest Tetris or Solitaire also but I think all of these are a bad idea if she’s with work colleagues and wants to present herself well.

        (Signed, got myself through law school boredom with Spider Solitaire)

        1. Yeah I don’t exactly mind that certain colleagues have played phone games during meetings, but I definitely remember.

      2. ehhhh this kind of distraction is different I think, because you’re clearly – and super visibly to nearby people – occupying your mind’s attention/focus on something else (trip planning) vs. occupying your hands while actually listening to the speaker.

        Like I can fold laundry and iron while on the phone no problem, but if I’m trying to email someone and talk at the same time? No.

        1. Agreed – and as a speaker or moderator, I can usually tell when someone is taking notes vs. engaged in whatever is on their screen. Note takers pick their heads up/make eye contact periodically/nod their head at appropriate points in the discussion/rest their hands, etc. If someone is hyper focused on their screen, I assume they are doing something else. Sure, if there are 500 people in an auditorium, I can’t see everyone, but the speakers can see more than you think. Also, if the people you are trying to impress are around you, they will 100% notice that you are trip planning or reading, and it will not send a good impression.

          Solidarity because I’ve had to work very, very hard to be able to stay focused/engaged during presentations or even verbal instructions. As a young associate, I even struggled to really process what a partner was asking me to do if it was a really complex verbal discussion of the case or assignment. I remember looking at my notes in panic one time bc I legitimately had not processed most of what I had just been asked to do. It took a while, but now I have my strategies down pretty well to be able to hold focus in a presentation or CLE, as either a participant or speaker.

      3. Yeah, online shopping during an important meeting would be a terrible look. And presumably OP *does* want to pay attention.

    6. Taking notes. On paper.

      Really, you embroider at work? In a meeting? I would not do this work conference. First impressions can never be changed.

      1. Agreed. I might not raise a visible eye but this would bother me. Even more than knitting embroidery requires focus on what you’re doing not who you are speaking with.

      2. To clarify, I don’t embroider in small meetings with discussion, I mean 30+ person meetings where you’re just listening to the presenter reading off their PowerPoint.

        1. +1 sewing or embroidery would send me the signal that you’re disengaged and don’t want to be there. I know that’s not why you’re doing it, but that’s what it would communicate to me.

          1. Exactly. It comes off v. disrespectful to the speaker.

            I mean, if you were in a 300-500 person conference room…. maybe if you could hide it. But in a conference with 30 people? Ugh, that’s not good. It would be actually distracting to me, as a speaker. As a speaker, I already know half the folks there are zoning out doing email behind their computer as they “take notes”. But to be knitting is even more cutting….

            Take notes.

    7. Real talk: this is a good opportunity for you to learn work appropriate ways to fidget. You may think no one is batting an eye at embroidery, but people are noticing it. And they may not say anything due to the level of position you’re in now. But they also aren’t thinking that someone who can’t sit and pay attention during a meeting is the person they want to promote to someday lead that meeting. I’m not saying this is fair, but it is true.

      1. +1, it’s maybe not super logical but I am disapproving even when people are taking notes on their phone. It just looks like texting. Sewing and embroidery reads as disinterested for sure. Highly recommend pen and paper note-taking, or wearing rings you can twist (although this may look like you’re nervous). It’s about perception management.

        1. +1. There is a woman who sews in a meeting that we attend together, and I admit I was floored the first few times she pulled out her materials. We’ve been attending together long enough now that I know she’s fully engaged in the discussion while creating beautiful works of art, but it was a jarring first (and second and honestly third) impression!

      2. Yeah. Maybe I am a jerk but I think this looks like you’re bored out of your mind and not paying attention. Moreover I’d find it disrespectful if someone did this while I was speaking. Am I picturing this wrong? You bring out a needle and cloth and embroider while other people present or try to have a discussion? I can see someone doing this during downtime, like during breaks, but not while people are talking. That’s not figeting; that’s a hobby. I’m sorry.

        1. I’ve been around a lot of knitting, but embroidery does seem like a higher focus task.

          I do think it’s probably sexist to view traditionally women’s tasks that were ALWAYS done while people were talking as a bigger issue than the kinds of things men do when people talk.

          1. I actually disagree – I think the historical equivalent would be a dude doing a handwritten or paper crossword puzzle or playing a solitary card, and I would have the exact same (negative) reaction to someone pulling out a crossword puzzle or playing a single person card game during a business meeting. They are things you do traditionally while listening to a radio as a group or during light conversations in the evening; they do not send a message of being an engaged professional or leader.

          2. I spent a lot of my career in courtrooms. It’s just the height of disrespect to refuse to put away your crossword or newspaper or whatever when the judge takes the bench. They’d absolutely kick you out for doing a crossword while the judge is actively speaking to the courtroom. During breaks and recesses it’s fine but I mean come on. I’m trying to imagine someone explaining to a court officer that embroidering while someone is on the bench is somehow not disrespectful and the way they like to concentrate. They’d be kicked out in a heartbeat. Why wouldn’t you be able to show that respect to your colleagues?

    8. Factor the time. If it’s 10:14, that factors out to 2×507, 3×338, and probably some other things. It’s a series of math problems, and you get a new one every minute. My brain does this on a separate track from what I’m listening to (also ADHD), and I absorb more when I’m doing this. No idea why it works.

      1. I love coming hear to learn new perspectives. In one million years, it never would have occurred to me that my colleagues are doing math during a presentation, and I’m here for it!

        1. I also have other mental fidgets — anagram the speaker’s name, count how many of each letter are on the handout (13 As, 5 Bs, etc.) — but those are more for when I want my face to look engaged and my brain to be anywhere else.

      3. Hah, I do something similar but call it the exponents game! I try to find numbers in the room or in something the speakers says and then do mental math using them as exponents. For example, if I find a 3 and a 12, I do 3^12 and 12^3. It dramatically varies in difficulty depending on the environment.
        I’m going to try your game next time I find a high factor-able number in this situation.

        1. I’m the person who wrote this comment, and I’m going to try YOUR game, haha! So nice to know there are two of us in the world!!!

          Also, I recommend using a 24 hour clock when it starts getting too easy. Factoring 13:15 is harder than factoring 1:15. Have fun!

  10. How long do spices last? We’re moving in with my parents and everything will be in storage for a year. I should take some sort of inventory and trash them all, right? It’s climate controlled storage if that helps. It’s going to cost a fortune to replace them all…

    1. they get weaker as they age but they don’t really go bad. I just bought a new curry to replace the one from 2009. (I always write the date purchased on the spice bottle.)

    2. How’s your parents’ spice collection? I’d probably bring some with me, unless they have a really well outfitted kitchen. I definitely don’t follow the standard guidance that ground spices are only good for 6 months, but after a couple years you will see a decline in quality, so it might not be worth moving them. But they really don’t take up a lot of space, so I think it’s worth keeping the newer ones and either bringing them with you or storing them, since it is climate controlled. Old ones and things you don’t really use, I’d toss.

    3. I would not toss ~ if they sat in your own kitchen cabinet for a year or more and you would use them as you needed to. I have found that if they sit for a bit, I need to increase the quantity used.

    4. I tend towards keeping till they’re gone no matter what, but also have noticed that my food tastes better now that I live in a remote place where going out to eat isn’t an option. Part of that is I’ve upped my culinary game a little, but I attribute most of it to running through ingredients at a much faster clip, so it’s all fresher.

    5. errr… why not bring them? won’t you be cooking while at your parents’? While I definitely still use spices from years ago, I wouldn’t intentionally ‘bench’ them for a year unnecessarily.

    6. Maybe you could at least put some of them to use in your parent’s kitchen or donate them to a young adult who’s moving into their first apartment or something.

    7. Spices last well for at least two years, and most are fine for longer but they lose flavor intensity and, depending on the spice, may start to clump, which you can usually resolve with a little work (a chopstick or blender).
      But can you really not take them into the house and use them with the whole family?
      Also, I don’t know why you would take inventory. If there is some blend you love and might forget the name and source of, sure take a note. But if you are trashing the whole lot, I’d plan to rebuild as the need for something arises, since you are apparently building a collection rather than using things up (same same), or to just go to the Burlap and Barrel site when it’s time and get one of everything if that is your personality.

    8. I definitely have spices older than a year in my kitchen. They’re fine. It’s weird to preemptively toss them all.

    9. They just get weaker. A year is not a big deal.

      The people who would notice and care are people who are buying spices fresh and grinding them immediately before use.

    10. I’d toss. Storage is notorious for having critters getting in and I wouldn’t want anything food related stored with my stuff.

    11. Generally I when I move I toss my spices and meds that are past the expiration date (or will be by the time you get them out of storage). In your case, though, I’d take them to my parents because their spices are almost certainly older than yours.

  11. I just took my first injection of Mounjaro last night … and I feel some kind of way about this. I have PCOS, but it’s “lean PCOS”. I’m a size 2, but I have a significant tummy that has grown considerably over the past few years as I’ve entered my early to mid-40s. There is data showing that Mounjaro can reduce visceral fat, but I still feel shame about being on it as an overall thin person. (Note: I get really angry when people shame others for “cheating” or “taking the easy way out” by taking a GLP-1. But I can’t seem to extend that protectiveness to myself.)

    Anyway, just venting my neuroses here. Thanks for reading.

    1. I have zero advice, but I relate to your conundrum of not judging people for taking care of themselves, except judging myself for ‘cheating’, not limited to but definitely including weight loss. Some days our brains are just so unhelpful!

    2. I’m sorry that some of the discourse has gotten to you. I am overweight with PCOS, but I remember seeing an endocrinologist who was frustrated with me because, she said, I was the thinnest PCOS patient in her practice and she didn’t know what more I wanted from her. (I have a more supportive endocrinologist now.)

      I’m frustrated when we find ourselves feeling shame for something somebody else should be feeling at least somewhat guilty over, even if there were honest mistakes. There are food additives that specifically block GLP1 production that companies added to food because their research showed that it helped with profits (by getting people to buy and eat more). There are herbicides used in agriculture and lawn care that were safety tested on animals that don’t have GLP1 taste receptors that have since been found to block these receptors and thus lower GLP1 production. And PCOS has long been linked to now banned pollutants that our grandmothers were exposed to and which are now affecting us. Maybe those were all innocent mistakes, but we’re paying the price for risk taking and experimentation that we didn’t sign up for, and which we didn’t necessarily benefit from.

      I hope that the med really helps. If you are feeling shame about access, I do think access is going to improve a lot; the race to come up with oral meds is going well and there is going to be more competition and more options soon.

      1. Thank you for these kind responses.

        I feel like endocrinologists/gynecologists STILL don’t really know what to do about PCOS. It’s just “Here are some birth control pills, lose some weight and call me when you want to get pregnant.”

        I’m not feeling shame about access, but I appreciate the comment! There is no longer a shortage, and I’m actually on Zepbound, which is indicated for weight loss not diabetes (so no one with T2D is going without their meds because of me.)

        And I’m very interested in the oral GLP-1. The phase 3 data from Lilly yesterday looked really promising!

    3. That tummy is part of normal aging for women. Perhaps looking into your perimenopausal future, find a good GYN, and talk about your changes and when to consider HRT if you are interested.

      If you are taking Mounjaro when you have no weight/diabetes/addiction/medical issues, as a target for normal changes in fat distribution with aging, that seems like a concerning decision. I’m not saying you should feel shame. I mean that it seems like misguided use of resources, as well as risks of the medicine. I worry a bit about what is going on in your mind, and for how you will be able to adapt to your normal aging future.

      1. Argh, yeah. I did talk to my PCP about this, and she told me that the birth control pill I’m on for PCOS (and actual contraception) actually has higher doses of hormones than standard HRT, so going on proper HRT would probably do nothing or maybe even make things a little worse.

        I’m pretty okay with my aging future in general, but visceral fat specifically is dangerous and can be life-shortening. Because of the PCOS, I already had a lot of it to begin with, and now to see it increasing this rapidly feels scary from a health perspective, not a vanity perspective. That’s what’s going on in my mind.

        1. No judgment here (I’m on Zepbound too) but I am overweight. In your shoes, I would definitely be concerned about muscle loss from the GLP-1. It’s a real thing and it seems like you may be more at risk since you are smaller with less overall fat to lose.

        2. Can you please explain how you know you have visceral fat? I have PCOS too, and have been slim my whole life until age 40. I needed a lot of help to get pregnant, which is how I found out I had PCOS, but I’ve been largely ignoring it since then after a lot of dismissive comments from doctors. After turning 40, I have very stubborn belly fat that seemingly appeared overnight. I’ve literally never heard of visceral fat until today, but am wondering if I need to go back to the doctor to revisit the diagnosis.

      2. Where as I think you, the scoldy commenter, sound insane. She’s just as entitled to medical support as anyone else is and she’s going to handle aging with Grace and determination addressing the things she can change.

        2. Exactly. Just maybe the OP’s physician who knows and has examined the OP knows more about appropriate treatment than some random, judgy poster.

          1. Did her physician prescribe it for her abdominal fat concern? That wasn’t clear to me.

    4. No advice but big hugs. I didn’t just feel judged on a glp-1 I WAS judged, harshly. But I’m also judged on every single morsel of food I eat or offer my children. On how much I do or don’t exercise and what I do for exercise. I’m not a model or celebrity I’m just a regular lady and I’m constantly frustrated by why anyone else cares. I certainly don’t care, outside of clear self harm, about these things in others. At some point maybe we have to give ourselves a break because our friends and family will never stop commenting, preaching, judging and controlling our choices.

    5. Take this with a grain of salt because I don’t have direct experience, but I’ve “heard” from numerous people on this board and IRL with PCOS/insulin resistant conditions that doing a Whole30 had a very positive impact, and helped “reset” their metabolic function. It also gave good information about how certain food groups (often grains) impacted their PCOS symptoms.

      I am with you that it’s aggravating how little information/help there is for PCOS…down to the fact that PCOS is really a collection of symptoms/conditions that gets slapped with this label because doctors don’t know what to do. You probably need a functional medicine/holistic doctor, maybe even someone a little woo, to help you get the bottom of things.

      1. Or instead of embracing an eating disorder which is what whole 30 is she could take the medication her doctor recommended.

        1. Whole30 is not an eating disorder, and eliminating refined sugar is an evidence-supported intervention for PCOS. I am guessing that the OP has already made the requisite dietary changes, though, and this is the logical next step. But please don’t spread the misinformation that eating plants and grass fed meat is an eating disorder; that’s psychotic.

          1. Those crash 30 day diets feel very much like orthorexia. (Speaking as someone who suffered from orthorexia for 15 years).

          2. You’re projecting. It isn’t a crash diet, and it isn’t orthorexic. Probably isn’t a good idea for someone with preexisting orthorexia to do it, but that’s true of literally everything.

          4. Anonymous at 8:03.

            Part my being treated for an eating disorder was learning about patterns that are disordered. Restricting whole categories of food like a Whole30 is disordered eating.

            Your comment is both rude and dismissive of my experience, as well as the learning I’ve had to do as a result of it.

          5. I’ve also been treated for an eating disorder. You are just wrong and projecting. You bring a disordered brain to an eating plan, then yes, it’s going to be an eating disorder. People with normal brains can handle not eating cheese for 30 days to see if it’s the cause of their gut issues. That is the point of the Whole30: eliminating foods that are common intolerances for 30 days and then reintroducing them one at a time.

            FWIW, I think it’s rude to shit on other people’s diets, so I’m comfortable being dismissive of people who are doing that.

          6. Or do you think everyone who doesn’t eat dairy because it gives them gas has an eating disorder…? SMDH.

          7. I mean, people have the right to do whatever they want. The question was whether or not Whole30 is disordered, and I, a former orthorexia sufferer said it felt like orthorexia to me. Not sure where I’m shitting on someone else’s diet – I merely said it felt that way to me.

            The whole30 is not a medical elimination diet. I’ve been on several of those to determine food sensitivities under the guidance of a doctor and a nutritionist. Equating the two feels dangerous to me. One is done under the care of a doctor and the other is not. That’s just my perspective on that part, but many health experts have ranked it as a not great diet and say it’s an unhealthy way to lose weight.

            I spent 20 years of my life trying to be thin and not healthy. It took a toll on my health and my hair and my relationship with food. But if you’d like to be rude and dismiss my experience (as well as a large body of evidence) then you do you boo.

          8. Your experience is that of someone with an eating disorder. Whole30 is a bad choice for you because you have an eating disorder. Your experience is valuable to other people with eating disorders.

            It is not valuable to people without eating disorders, and you need to stop claiming it is. Plenty of people think “hey, maybe I should see whether not eating dairy (or eggs or gluten or whatever) helps me” and then eliminate and reintroduce on their own, without needing a clinician’s handholding. I promise you adults manage that all the time on their own without descending into the pits of hell.

            Furthermore, this post is not about trying to lose weight. The OP is a size 2. It is about managing PCOS and insulin resistance and the belly fat that can be associated with them. Diet modification is useful for managing PCOS. Not sure why you keep bringing up weight, other than that you are projecting your issues onto this woman.

            I am assuming you are the poster who wrote “instead of embracing an eating disorder which is what whole 30 is”, which is shitting on someone else’s choices. If that wasn’t you, you can disregard me saying you were shitting on someone else’s choices.

          9. I am absolutely not the person who said that. I merely commented that it felt like orthorexia to me. I don’t comment on other ppl’s eating, and I’ve never once said what someone should or shouldn’t do.

            And I mentioned weight because Whole30 is considered a diet, and the body of research about it talks about how it is not an effective way to lose weight. It’s considered a fad diet (not by me, but by others). In fact, nutritionists say it’s difficult on your body and was developed by two individuals who were not nutritionists. All of that is isn’t a reflection of my views, which as I stated above was just that it felt like orthorexia to me. Rather, it’s a reflection of the viewpoints of people far more educated than me about the subject.

            Also, I really don’t appreciate your condescending comments about how “adults” can manage their diets. I developed orthorexia as a 30 year old adult. You’re welcome to continue commenting on my eating disorder, but I don’t tolerate ppl talking to me that way and I won’t engage anymore.

        2. lol, caring about the impact food has on your body is not an eating disorder. It’s ok to experiment with food so that you know what works for you and what doesn’t.

    6. Sometimes I have to talk to myself in the third person to get myself the kind of caring, kind, practical advice I’d give literally anyone else, throwing that out there as a suggestion

  12. Does anyone follow Bethenny Frankel on social media? I was under the impression she made millions from her previous businesses. I’m trying to understand her hawking links to products daily that aren’t related to her business. Is it just easy money from fans? If I were wealthy, I don’t think I’d be doing this. Seems Megan Sussex is starting to do this as well.

    1. I don’t know her personally but she strikes me as a borderline workaholic, someone who just *needs* to be on the hustle and feels uncomfortable if she’s not. Also even millions can be spent or lost relatively quickly with a high end lifestyle so perhaps it’s just “churn” at this point.

      1. +1

        So she made some millions from selling her product line. But then she pays the lawyers, agents, taxes …. and then she gets divorced and pays spousal support (!). And she spends tons of money on her high end lifestyle. Those few millions could be gone.

        1. She sold her cocktail line alone for $100 million! Definitely she does not need to do anything for money. I think she does have a huge need to feel relevant. I don’t follow her, but she comes up on my feed sometimes. Alot of what I see her talk about is not promoted-it’s her take on some random topic or retail item.

      3. She hasn’t lose the HRH; we don’t use titles in the US and she’s not supposed to use it in her business dealings.

        1. They agreed not to use it as a condition of stepping down from Royal duties, so they weren’t formally stripped of it but in practice that was the effect. It has nothing to do with us not using titles in the US. They couldn’t use them even if they had chosen to live in Britain.

    3. I feel like Meghan Sussex needs a source of income because the security costs for her family are millions of dollars a year, every year forever. The same probably isn’t true for Frankel.

      2. Yeah Meghan and Harry strike me as the type who are spending beyond their means. Not just on security but in general. Not so much Bethenny. Partly because she has way more money and partly because she seems a little more responsible about saying no to things she can’t afford.

      3. She probably does feel like that’s on her, it’s really sad that her husband is putting his wife and children at risk to try to push his lawsuit for UK police security. Her new food brand seems to have started very well, her fans really want to support her.

    4. I don’t think any of them NEED money. They’re in the entertainment/celebrity business so they trade on their names for income. Did Gwyneth Paltrow need Goop? Our current president essentially made all of his money in licensing deals. I think we react positively/negatively based on our personal opinions of the person involved, but constructively, it’s the same business model.

  13. Wedding cake question. When I got married many years ago, the baker made a small side cake, identical to our wedding cake, to freeze and bring out for our anniversary (or whenever). In hindsight, I wish we’d brought it out and enjoyed it on our first anniversary. Now, it’s been in the freezer for more years than I care to admit. I’m not sure it’s still edible. There are signs of freezer burn for sure. It’s time for it to go. How would you celebrate this? I’m sentimental so I have a really hard time with the idea of just tossing it in compost. Looking for thoughts on something my DH and I can do to say goodbye to this symbol from our wedding. TIA!

    2. How many years are we talking? I might just try it and see how bad it is. If it’s terrible, just have one bite each, laugh about it together, and toss the rest. Or if we’re talking more than 3-4 years, I’d just make or order a cake, do a freezer clean out (preferably using things up rather than throwing away), and eat the new cake to celebrate.

    3. FWIW, we did eat ours on our 1 year anniversary, and even then being well packaged it still didn’t taste right.

      I like the idea of toasting the old cake with a new cake.

    4. We did the same and didn’t eat it at our anniversary, so tossed it when we moved ~7 years ago. I’m sure it was gross by then.
      I vote for new cake, and if you like the idea choose something that bears a similarity to the old cake in flavor, style, etc.

    5. I’ll take any reason to build a bonfire, so I’d probably get a good one going and toss it in to see what it does (probably nothing, but if you try it, please report back).

      1. This is my go to for lots of “huh, gotta get rid of this emotional paperwork” but I too would love a report on how it works with frozen cake.

        I guess you could also bury it – deep enough to keep critters away, maybe with an anniversary present shrub on top?

    6. I would set it out on a fancy plate, give it a pretty Champagne toast, probably something like “thank you for reminding us that we never ate you because we still feel the best is yet to come,” and then retire it to the trash!

    7. Husband and I just order a new cake (same flavors) every year from the same bakery that did our wedding cake. Can you do that?

      1. Not sure if this is OP’s situation, but our wedding cake maker only makes wedding cakes and other really fancy cakes (like for baby showers, etc.). You can’t order regular cakes from her. A lot of people also don’t live where they got married.

        1. Two wonderful arguments for getting your wedding cake from Costco or Whole Foods!

    8. Lay a sheet of plastic on the ground. Thaw the cake and put the cake in the middle. Stand in your best approximation of a circle. Play some lively music. Put your right foot in put your right foot out …

    9. OP here, thanks so much everyone for the ideas and for the humor! I really like the idea of buying a new cake to celebrate with. We’ll open the container with the old cake, take a final look, maybe some pictures, and bid it farewell! And yes, the toast will be, “We never ate you because the best is yet to come!”

Comments are closed.