Splurge Monday’s TPS Report: Draped-front silk blouse
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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

First, Net-a-Porter is having some lovely sales right now. This silk blouse is not among those sales — but it's interesting because, at least according to Net-a-Porter, this pale blush pink is going to be the hot color next season. I like this blouse in any event — the sleeves are draped artfully, the pleat at the neck/placket is interesting but not fussy, and the simple neckline is nice. I'd wear it with a white camisole, layered beneath a gray suit. It's $545 at Net-a-Porter. Stella McCartney Draped-front silk blouse
Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail editor@corporette.com with “TPS” in the subject line.
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Sales of note for 4/18/25 (Happy Easter if you celebrate!):
- Nordstrom – New spring markdowns, savings of up to 50%!
- Ann Taylor – 40% off + extra 15% off your entire purchase
- Banana Republic Factory – 50%-70% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 10% off new womenswear
- The Fold – 25% off selected lines
- Eloquii – extra 40% off all sale
- Everlane – Spring sale, up to 70% off
- J.Crew – Spring Event: 40% off sitewide + extra 40% off all sale
- J.Crew Factory – 40%-70% off everything + extra 20% off orders over $125
- Kule – Lots of sweaters up to 50% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Earth Day Sale, take 25% off eco-conscious fabrics. Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
- Rothy's – Final few – Up to 50% off last chance styles; new favorites added
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- I'm fairly senior in BigLaw – where should I be shopping?
- how best to ask my husband to help me buy a new car?
- should we move away from DC?
- quick weeknight recipes that don’t require meal prep
- how to become a morning person
- whether to attend a distant destination wedding
- sending a care package to a friend who was laid off
- at what point in your career can you buy nice things?
- what are you learning as an adult?
- how to slog through one more year in the city (before suburbs)
Um…is it just me, or does this blouse (or at least the picture of the blouse) kind of make the model look naked?
I was gonna say… I don’t think I could ever bring myself to wear something to work that made me look naked from the waist up.
On the other hand, this would probably look amazing on someone with darker skin than mine.
Ditto. This color (esp with the shine, for some reason) is not so good for pale girls. :)
Exactly. I was thinking it would make me look both washed out and undressed from the waist up. On a tanner person, it would look absolutely amazing.
My thoughts exactly. Definitely not a good look on a woman with that skin tone.
Provided that it’s fairly opaque, I could see it looking very striking on a woman with a very dark, chocolately-type skin tone.
Also, the fact that to my eyes, it does not look as though the model is wearing a bra (or camisole or any foundation garments) that also adds to the look of nakedness.
If that’s what’s in style this spring, I’m in trouble. That is my skin colour, literally – sorry, not going to happen. I’ll stick to my jewel tones, thanks.
Heinous.
I’d style this with white shorts as shown, and then to make up for the nakedness/visible bra factor, I’d add this vest on top: http://www.jcrew.com/womens_category/sweaters/vestsandshells/PRDOVR~29082/29082.jsp. Add a pair of peep-toe shearling booties and I’ll be the trendiest chick in the club.
ps – I actually like the blouse, styled as Kat suggested. I look great in pale pink.
The sad thing is that crazy vest actually sold out.
One hopes they only made three of them :). J Crew has had some truly batshit crazy stuff recently.
Agreed! I think it’s mostly the “J. Crew Collection” line, although, I have to say, I do like some of the items that are currently being offered as part of said line. Even though many things sold out, perhaps they realized that they could sell some things that are more in line with the traditional J. Crew style in even larger lots?
My favorite are the sequined harem plants with the baggy crotch and elastic foot holes. For $650. Where COULDN’T you wear them? I see why they sold out.
http://tinyurl.com/25xngcc
And what exactly is a “distressed sequin?” They look like normal sequins to me!
A distressed sequin is a sequin who realizes that it is attached to some truly cracked-out pants and will likely live out the majority of it’s later days bouncing from one Goodwill rack to another … admit it, you’d be distressed too.
All of their stuff like this is always “sold out.” It makes me think they make like 4 of them, give one to a model and one to an intern, and then maybe sell one or two..
I like that you can call and have them suggest similar options. What exactly is going to make the same statement as those pants?
You’re totally right, Rachel, I would definitely be distressed if I was destined for that life!
I like it a lot!
I agree b23! This is a beautiful top. I would pair it with my navy and charcol suits. Although there is a wash-out risk, this is a lovely sophisticated color.
Uggh. The color is horrific. the ruffle looks like you have a fin down the front of you. All around awful.
This holiday season, I’d like to give thanks to the fact that not everyone must comply with your stringent color and anti-sea animal style guidelines.
threadjack: would you wear a “dress” suit to an interview?
If I understand you correctly and its a “suiting” dress and you are wearing it with a jacket, then yes.
Yes, so long as it’s an actual suit (dress and jacket cut from the same cloth and intended to be worn together).
Absolutely.
Thank you, ladies.
Only with a jacket that it was designed to go with (part of a set).
Meh. Noticed yesterday at the mall that some stores have their spring collections out already. STOP!!!! Don’t freaking start Christmas in the summer and don’t put out Spring clothers before Christmas!
Amen to that! I am on the hunt for wool pants – I couldn’t bring myself to buy them when it was 90+ degrees in August. I am finding even on the sale racks my choices are limited in stores. Yes, I know I could go online, but pants are tricky…
I hate this. Basically, the best spring clothes will sell out long before it is spring weather in most of the country. Not everyone wants to buy things four to six months before they can be worn. I occasionally buy a clearance piece that I have to save until the next cold or warm season, but generally I am buying because I have a need to wear it in the current season. Between this trend of moving spring fashion into stores in December, and the whole “resort” thing that has taken over the fashion industry in recent years, I am having a hard time finding winter-appropriate clothes in the winter these days. I guess I need to reconcile myself to buying my “winter” clothes in July and August, when fall collections hit stores. :(
in their defense, it could be “resort,” as opposed to spring.
in other news, where i live, christmas marketing started before halloween, and it’s been tax season since before november. not sure why all this bothers me so much, but it does.
I think this blouse is gorgeous…except for the weird flap on fabric in the front. I’ve been looking for a pale pink/blush colored blouse/dress/cardigan/ANYTHING for the past year but I never found anything worth spending money on. Hopefully I’ll have better luck this year.
Have you checked Ann Taylor this winter? They seem to have a lot of those pale pink, peachy colors. Which are not good on my skin coloring so I guess thats why I have noticed (and not shopped there…:) )
I actually have not. Thanks for the tip!
I think it’s lovely, but I’m not sure it would do anything for me.
It’s on the low-side of ok, to me. Not feeling the color. At all. Despite the price tag, looks/feels Forever21, The Limited, BeBe, H&M-ish, IMHO (no haterade on those stores, btw!).
RE: Maternity tights – I totally forgot I would be out of the office on Friday and couldn’t post the brand I had purchased. They’re called “Belly Basics” and I’ve been pretty happy with them. Hope this helps!
That request was from me. Thanks so much!
I love the idea of this shirt with a gray suit. Like lots of other posters, it would not be a good look for me because my skin is almost the same color as the shirt. I’m imagining lots of double takes to determine whether I’m wearing a shirt under my jacket…
Silk blouse = coffee mishap waiting to happen
haha, I feel that way about white pants/skirts.
Indeed. I spill coffee on myself just pouring it from the pot into my mug.
Pale pink is all over Ann Taylor and it is lovely. BUT it’s not the best color for work. Exception – a tailored pink cotton shirt with suits – like men wear. I collect beautiful silk blouses with long sleeves, but pink is not a color I would selct for such a blouse, and I seldom buy sheer. Exception – a high-necked black sheer one that I think is very classy under a suit jacket.
I’m surprised by the comments. I love pale pink blouses and find them so versatile (go with grey, blue, and brown suits)! But I like blouses that are a little bit more pink than this blouse, which seems to have peach undertones giving her the nekkid look. I have slightly darker skin color than the model and light hair.
I love the color, and think I might wear it if I had the chance to get a tan these days. Without a tan, pale pink is a wash out color for white people.
I am too. This color and others in the salmon/coral/peach family are flattering on me and I wear them frequently. I don’t look naked either, and I have relatively light skin.
She looks naked and nipple-less.
Yes – like barbie, sans clothes
I look corpse-like in this color. So if it’s the big trend for spring, it will be a “pass” for me. And I hope I’m not the only one who chooses to pass on trends that I know won’t work for me, no matter how “hot” they are.
Yup to this. See also: skinny jeans tucked into boots.
Jeans tucked into boots has been my winter weekend uniform for the past 2 years. So comfortable. Although there are too many people that are wearing their skinny jeans way too tight. I find that jeans hide sins much better than leggings or jeggings.
And the belted look. Given the ubiquity of belted sweaters and jackets, that has been tough one. But I have soldiered on and not bought a single one the last couple years!
I did read that a darker pink, more like bubblegum, is going to be the “it color” for next year. They’re calling it honeysuckle: http://www.pantone.com/pages/pantone/pantone.aspx?pg=20821&ca=4
I would take pale pink over honeysuckle any day
I’ll take the honeysuckle and leave you the pale pink, then! The honeysuckle color would be a lot more flattering on my pale blonde self. Not sure I’d wear it to work, though.
That honeysuckle color is pretty. I hope we get away from the beiges and pale pinks, they just wash me out completely.
I think that color is going to be the “it” color for home design, whereas the pale pink is going to be the “it” color for fashion.
I think they are both lovely colors and it’s far more important to wear colors that look good on you than colors that are “the color of the moment” anyway!
Honeysuckle would look great on me! I love the pale pink, but it has to be just the right shade to avoid nekked-looking.
Same here. I much prefer the “honeysuckle” (which I’d always seen referred to as raspberry, but oh well!).
Agreed – raspberry, or peony, even. Honeysuckle makes me thing of yellow (honey) or orange tones, since that was the color of the ones we had at home.
I need 80’s mauve to come back because that is the color of the tile in my house. What on earth am I supposed to do with mauvey tile?
Hi everyone,
I posted last week about a bad doctor’s appointment I had, where my doctor was really unconcerned about my symptoms and didn’t attempt to diagnose what was going on. I got an appointment with a gynecologist through a friend, and went to that appointment late last week, and then was scheduled to have a pelvic exam with ultrasound this morning.
My symptoms were pelvic pain, cramping and spotting between periods. I have a Mirena IUD. What had happened is that my IUD had traveled all the way down the “neck” of my uterus and was hanging partially out of my cervix. They actually didn’t even need to do the ultrasound – the gynecologist decided to look at my cervix first with a speculum, and there the IUD was. The gynecologist was able to pull it the rest of the way out with no problems other than a couple of sharp cramps that faded pretty fast. The cramping was triggered by the migration of the IUD, which opened up my cervix enough that it was able to slip partially out. I am extraordinarily thankful that this was caught before I ended up with either A. the IUD embedded in my cervix, which apparently can happen and must be resolved surgically or B. I had an unintended pregnancy, which wouldn’t have been the end of the world but certainly would have been a shocker.
If you are having symptoms and don’t get good answers from one doctor about what’s going on, please seek a second opinion, and don’t wait to do it. There are some unlikely bad outcomes that could have happened from my situation, including perforation of my uterus and a uterine infection. The crazy thing is, the first doctor I saw (my primary-care doctor) could have figured out the problem with a simple pelvic exam, which had done on me before when I was having an issue. For whatever reason, he didn’t want to do it.
I think as busy women we sometimes tell ourselves it’s not worth the hassle to “deal with” something that’s wrong, but sometimes those niggling symptoms can mean you need medical attention. I know that from now on I will just call the GYN if I’m having GYN problems, and also that I won’t take a first, badly-formed opinion for an answer if this happens to me again.
Thanks to everyone for their help and support that day that I first posted. I really appreciated it. :)
Wow, I am SO GLAD you got this checked out right away.
I think you should follow up w/ your GP–the one who didn’t bother to examine you and suggested anti-anxiety meds–let him know what the problem was and that you’ll no longer be seeing him based on his inattention and belief that your medical issues were in your head.
Agree with Liz above x 1,000. I’ve known a friend or two who have had the same problem and it’s definitely something your GP should have taken alot more seriously. Given the way you described how he conducted himself during the appointment, you should definitely start looking elsewhere.
So glad you are doing okay. If I were in your shoes, I’d file a complaint with the medical licensing board in your area regarding your first doctor’s negligent behavior. There should be a record of this sort of incident, so if he does it repeatedly he’ll eventually (one hopes) be censured or lose his license.
THIS. Absolutely. Very glad you followed up and got it taken care of!
Really happy everything is ok with you!
Thanks for following up! I was wondering how this worked out.
I’ll also chime in with my recommendation that you take action with respect to the first physician (some combination of: leave the practice, notify board, leave reviews online).
Rereading this – one question. Why didn’t the gyn do the pelvic exam when you went to see her last week? Why did you have to go back today? The ultrasound, I get, but not the exam. Did she just chat with you at the first appointment? Very frustrating that you had to take off three times for this! (Though of course great that it’s fine now.)
E- Because the appointment was so last-minute, I got in at 5:15 on Friday to see her. She actually stayed late to be able to see me, which I appreciated, but the rest of her office left. Because I was having pain on a low-to-middle scale but no bleeding at the moment, I didn’t have a fever, a pregnancy test and urine-bacteria test were both negative, and she did a manual exam and couldn’t detect anything abnormal, we decided to wait until Monday to do a speculum exam because she wanted to be prepared to remove the IUD if necessary, which is not always a picnic. Part of it was me, because she told me she’s seen IUDs stuck in the cervix sideways and they have to clamp the person’s cervix open to get them out. I have had that done to me before – the cervical clamping – and it hurt like nothing I have ever experienced. If that was going to be a possibility I wanted to be prepared for the appointment, like by maybe taking a Valium or three first :). She did tell me no sex (or even masturbation) over the weekend and that if the IUD came out, or if I started bleeding heavily, to call an emergency number she gave me. We had a pretty good conversation about possible causes for the pain (much more so than my PCP had had with me) and I was OK with waiting until Monday for her to really get in there and see what was going on. When I arrived on Friday, she had already scheduled me for a 7:30 appointment this morning, I went in, and it was over within 30 minutes. It is a bummer I had to take off three times, but my boss is great and very understanding.
Thanks for the followup!
On an only slightly related note, I think I’m going to stick with the pill!
Wow. Such a scary story. Glad you are doing ok now!
Awesome. Thanks for posting the follow-up, good to hear everything worked out ok.
I don’t usually follow any of this, but a bit of googling brought up all of the “official” pantone colors for spring 2011:
http://www.pantone.com/pages/Pantone/Pantone.aspx?pg=20752&ca=4
I like the three blue-greens (Peapod, Regatta and Blue Curacao) since those cool tones work with my coloring. Looks like gray will continue to be trendy, so that means gray accessories like pumps, handbags and scarves can be worn into spring. Of course, that’s months from now and I’ll be sick of my gray boots by then.
And in case you weren’t quite sure which colors are officially “in” for this fall/winter:
http://www.fashiontrendsetter.com/content/color_trends/2010/Pantone-Fashion-Color-Report-Fall-2010.html
The main thing I take out of these official color pronouncements is how difficult it will be to find certain colors in the stores.
Corporettes,
I am having a horribly downer day. I am fresh out of law school, working and earning a paycheck, but had to put my loans into forbearance to pay off the credit card debt I accumulated over the years. My future husband is trying to start his own business, and the money was fine, even good, until this month. I feel like we are drowning. Last month, I was on track to pay off the credit cards by August – now, I am living off of them again, and defeating all the progress we made, because my paycheck just scarcely covers the bills and minimum payments on the cards.
I feel like we will never be able to get out from under this and I am trying to avoid going postal on FH for not having a lot of work to do during the winter. I cannot do this for the next three months. We won’t make it. I’m NOT in the holiday spirit. “Merry Christmas. Here’s your utility bill. Pa rum pa pum pum.”
Advice? Similar situations, now overcome?
First off, I’m sorry you’re down. This is a bad time of year to feel, or be, broke.
Your fiance needs to look into getting a small-business loan from a bank or assistance from the SBA. It’s not as easy to get as it used to be, in many cases, but it is still out there. Startup businesses generally fail because they are undercapitalized. That’s what the SBA is there for – to make sure small businesses can access capital and stay afloat. If he has not looked into getting official certifications from the SBA related to his business situation – Small Disadvantaged, Small Business, HUBZone, Minority-Owned are a few – he should. That would allow him to go after government contracts that are set-aside for businesses like his, and might get him some more customers/clients.
Now some tough love. Usually when people end up in a financial crisis it’s due to lack of planning. Small businesses generate little steady cash flow in the startup phase. It would be best, if at all possible, you could live off of your steady income for awhile and not rely on his income at all. When I see people using credit cards for day-t0-day living expenses, I see people who have imbalanced expense-t0-earnings ratios and little to no cash reserve. Believe me, continuing to use the credit cards is not going to fix your problem. If your balances are high enough that it is taking that substantial of a portion of your income to pay the minimums, you are in some serious trouble, and it’s time to consider serious action, like maybe bankruptcy, before you dig yourself in much further.
I feel for you but don’t go postal on your fiance. This is a tough time to be starting up a business and 90 percent of the small-business startup people I see have little to no clue about cash flow and about government assistance to small businesses. He needs to get going on that, and get some income coming in. But you need to consider this: you are either overspending, underearning, or both. Putting your loans into forbearance to pay off the credit cards was a noble idea, but now you’ve got the credit card debt AND the student loans (which are not dischargable in bankruptcy), and you can’t stay in forbearance forever. What about your situation is most immediately fixable? Can you borrow money from a relative? Do you have property to sell? Can your fiance get a temp or part-time second job? Can you? Do either of you have retirement accounts you can access money from, or savings?
I don’t have to tell you that credit cards are the devil, because you’re finding that out on your own. Step one is to figure out how you will pay your bills for the next three months without using them and without your fiance contributing much, or anything. That is going to involve some tough choices. I’m sorry you’re in this situation, but there is a way out of it. It just isn’t going to be the happy ending you probably envisioned. Good luck to you.
I’m so sorry this is happening to you. Ann has some great advice above, and I think in any case you want to do things like trying to get a second job or looking for a higher paying job, but these are slightly long-term things in this economy. I’m sure you’ve cut out any expenses you can by now. One thing to consider is what your expected tax return (if any) will be next year, and if it might be enough, filing your taxes as soon as possible in 2011. But honestly, in your situation I would seek out a good bankruptcy attorney in you area. You might be a good candidate for a chapter 7 liquidation bankruptcy, which would wipe out your credit card debt and leave you to pay the student loans. Forebearance is not very long and once used up, it is gone.
I was in a similar situation once (very very low income and very high credit card debt, and no end in sight), and I filed for chapter 7 bankruptcy. Yes, it stays on your credit report for 10 years but after two years (sometimes less) you will get offers for “regular” credit cards and be able to get car loans (house loans are definitely trickier, but I used the time to save for an actual 20% down payment). It’s going to be 10 years next year since I filed, and I have to say that given the information I had then, I would do it again. I only wish I would have done it sooner.
Ann and anontoday,
Thank you for the advice. There’s so much I could elaborate on, but ultimately, I just need to be accountable for the decisions I made financially that led me to here. I am going to try my hardest to get the credit cards paid off before my loans go into repayment in September. The only earthly way I can accomplish that is if my fiance can bring in some steadier income. I really want him to try to find a steady job until his business takes off. Taking out a loan for his business is simply not feasible for us at this juncture, but I am going to look into it once the holidays are over.
If I can’t have the cards paid off, then I will have to find another option, either asking my parents for help, or, if all else fails, filing for bankruptcy. I really think, that with two steady incomes, it can be done. But it seems so far away from being resolved that it scares me.
I feel you. My husband is a writer in LA and not a “here’s your residual check” writer. He was on a show when the writer’s strike hit, his show was shortly canceled and we had to live off my salary and the temp work he got from time to time for about 6 months and it sucked. The progress I had made on paying down cards was totally negated and we had to do a major re-adjustment on our lifestyle (which wasn’t that lavish to begin with) and I lived in fear of the dog getting really sick or one of our car’s breaking.
My tips – for what they’re worth:
– eat everything in your house before you go grocery shopping. This resulted in some interesting food combos, but my husband and I really learned how eat for cheap and when shopping, focus on needs not wants. We had one splurge night a week where we’d getting subway ($5 footlongs!) out – otherwise – it was home cooked food.
– sell stuff. We had gotten married recently, so we had a lot of doubles of items we received as wedding gifts. Two large yard sales at friend’s homes (we’re in an apt) later and ended up making about $350 and gaining a lot more space. Organizing it and donating a lot of his single guy stuff (dvds, video games, etc) was also a good way for my husband to actively contribute to “our” joint income, which was good for both of our heads.
– check out craigslist for one-off gigs to earn some money. Or look for a part time job. I now teach a college class on the side (one night a week) and my husband took on some writing/editing/temp work (i.e., help edit my resume, edit this screen play, go pass out surveys for a day). If your FH is starting a small business but it doesn’t look like it will bring in income for a few months – it maybe worth while for him to contact a temp agency for a few months of temp work to pay the bills.
– exercise and get out of the house. We took many more trips to the dog park and walks around our neighborhood and local parks (free way to get out and moving). Our birthdays were the same month in the middle of this time period so we asked our folks to each kick in half of the cost of a one year membership to our local YMCA – so we were able to keep working out, taking classes, etc. You might consider asking friends/family to help contribute to a gym membership fund or something for the holidays since that isn’t a “gift” you can give yourself right now.
– finally, TMI time – keep having “date” night and sex. We went for about 2 ½ months of no sex because we were both just so stressed and pissed off. It took us a while to figure out the difference between being angry at your circumstances and each other. That only adds to the hostility you’re feeling and by maintaining a sex life – it helps to keep your worries/anger/etc directed at the situation, rather than your FH.
Off topic to this post but Anon LA – my husband has been thinking about us moving to LA so he can persue his dream of writing screen plays. He currently writes as a hobby in his spare time and has a regular “day job.” We are in know rush to do this and it is more of a 5-10 year plan once we save up a LOT.
Any tips on how your husband landed his gig?
Well… make sure you can live off your sal to start.
My husband got his BFA in Film and TV from Tisch at NYU and has done some professional programs in screen writing at UCLA and these have helped a lot with both networking and craft development. He was the head writer of a small, late night, interactive music video show for three years and has gotten some interest/meetings due to his scripts. It’s really all about who you know – so if the plan is to come to LA not knowing anyone in the industry it could be hard.
A way most people break in is to assist (PA, writer’s assistant which is a very hard position to land) – these are typically low paying and if you’re waiting 5-10 yrs then his age might be a factor.
Best bet for now would be to enter in some of the screenwriting contests (off the top of my head ink tip comes to mind).
if you want shoot me an email at twinkltwrp@hotmail.com and i’ll pass it to my husband – he’s really cool with giving advice about writing.
I’m not sure if this will be helpful, but Jane Espenson wrote a blog geared toward aspiring screenwriters. It has a lot of writing tips as well as practical industry tips. It’s not super specific or anything, but if he’s just beginning to think about this he might find it useful. She hasn’t updated in a while.
http://www.janeespenson.com/
“defeating all the progress we made”
Here’s my advice: realize that that sentence I’ve quoted above isn’t true. You still made all of that progress. If you hadn’t made the progress you’ve already made, you’d be further in the hole than you already are. I know how enormously frustratying it is to have to put off paying down debt because of an income issue, but you WILL make it through. Start with that.
Now, on to the practical. If your paycheck is the only secure one, then your bills (not your debt repayment, your bills) need to be coverable by your paycheck alone. (FH’s paychecks will then go towards debt repayment.) Are they? It sounds like maybe, but just barely. So, can you either cut back on some expenses, or increase your secure income? Can FH get a part time job while business is slow? Can you cut back on some of your bills, like cable or phones? Are you eating out? Do you have a storage unit? Paying down your debt is going to be a marathon, not a sprint, and so to avoid situations like this in the future you have to think about what your base income and base expenses are. Hopefully FH’s business will take off, but when income isn’t secure, you need to budget with only the secure paycheck in mind.
Most important: try to avoid piling on more debt now if you can. The mental trap of “well, one more swipe of the card won’t make a difference at this point” is common and insidious. Use cash whenever you can to avoid that feeling: you’ll pay for it – literally – later.
Very, very best of luck.
You ladies have me almost crying. Okay, I admit it, I’m in my office, welling up. The time you each took to give me advice and encouragement really helps. I am too embarrassed to tell any of my family or friends. Even my fiance doesn’t know the extent of the credit card debt because I am in charge of paying the bills each month.
I KNOW we can do this. I made a plan back in September, when I started my job, and stuck to it 100% until this month. It sucked having to pay so much on the credit cards, but I was doing it and there seemed to be light at the end of the tunnel. When the tunnel got longer, and I thought about it today, I just had a breakdown.
I have been very good at not asking my parents (who are well off, but paying to put my sister through a pricey college right now) for help, but after a few of the posts about bankruptcy, I ended up calling my dad to ask for a loan. Hopefully, after he thinks it over, he will help me. Even paying all the money off doesn’t make me feel like less of an idiot though. I knew better. And that’s the worst part.
Please please please tell your fiance about all your finances, including the extent of your credit card debt. Do not hide this. Do not start your marriage without full disclosure. It’s so important. And it might (probably) even be helpful!
I will have to tell him, because I have been so stressed lately and he doesn’t understand why. It’s not just my debt that is on the credit cards – it’s ours. Our food, our furniture, our dogs’ vet bills, etc. So he needs to know, I agree. I know he won’t be angry, but I am just (still and always, I imagine) embarrassed about being the smart girl that did such a stupid thing. Hello, “means”, love to chat, but I live beyond you. It’s really time for me to re-evaluate needs and wants and I can’t do that without him.
I hope you can see from the responses that you are getting that no one thinks you are a bad person for falling behind financially. Many, many people struggle with money at some point in their lives. You seem to be really owning your decisions, which is so commendable. It’s okay to cry a little and lean a little on friends and family. You would do the same for them!
An unsolicited piece of advice about borrowing money from your father: create and present to him a Promissory Note. There are lots of examples on the web. Put it in writing, offer a reasonable interest rate and loan length, and then commit to paying it off. You might structure it so that you make no payments for 6 months, then pay monthly for 3 years, with 4 or 5% interest. Your Dad may change the terms, refuse to accept interest, whatever. The important part is that you show him that you have done your research and are serious about it.
Treat this loan just like one from a bank, and you will maintain your “good credit” and dignity with your family. I speak from personal experience that blowing off a family loan is a bad idea. I farted around and never repaid a small Bank of Dad loan when I was 22, then regretted it at 28 when I needed to borrow part of the down payment for my first home. That old $400 debt cost me the opportunity to buy into Silicon Valley real estate at $150,000. By the time I saved the cash and my reputation, the same condo cost $230,000!
Good advice about the Promissory Note. I want this to go well and end up teaching me a lesson, but not hurting my relationship with my dad. I’ll draw up the promissory note before I go to see him, so he knows I am willing to do this the right way.
In the mean time, I am going to sink myself into some research and a motion for summary judgment to get me through this week. I might add, though, that these posts helped me to just get through this day.
Much love, Corporettes. It’s great to not feel alone and defeated.
Hi Corporettes! Anyone have any idea about newly published books that an eighth-grade boy would enjoy? I’m looking to buy some books for my youngest cousin (to go with the “fun” part of his Xmas gift, which is some iTouch/game-oriented stuff).
The Hunger Games are great – very exciting and action-based, but with an interesting plot and characters too.
I read The Hunger Games (only the first book so far) and really enjoyed it. I would just get him the whole series and call it good. And then tell him I want to borrow the last two:)
I have a nephew who’s in 7th grade and he really loves the Alex Rider books. I think the first one may have been published about 5 years ago, so I guess the series isn’t exactly “newly published,” but they obviously aren’t classics, either. I think the newest book was published just this past year.
And, this doesn’t fit your “newly published criteria, either, but I always love giving The Giver to junior high and middle school students. It’s my favorite book from those years of my life and I love to introduce others to it. (Some kids do read it in school, but a lot don’t.)
If he’s into science fiction, I’d suggest Ender’s Game (even though it isn’t newly published). One of my all-time favorite books. I gift it to people of all ages, and sometimes I include the parallel book Ender’s Shadow. Amazing books.
I really enjoyed “the dead and the gone” by susan beth pfeffer. Fun post-apocaplytic young adult fiction about a 17 yro boy in NYC after a major natural disaster leaves him alone with his two sisters. Fascinating!
I used to work in a medical office (in PA) before I went to law school. General practitioners or “family practice” (?) as it is called today are not set up in their offices to deal with specialty matters, Use a specialist (internal medicine, gastroenterolgy, orthopedics, gynecology, dermatology, etc.) for all health problems where you know what organ system is involved. The “family practice” doctor may know how to prescribe correctly if you get a bacterial infection. They are good about knowing what is “going around”.For anything that seems severe or comes up rather quickly, go – run – don’t walk – to the best emergency room in your area. “Urgent care” is good for minor cuts, burns, and bruises.