Splurge Monday’s TPS Report: Kimian Pleated Silk Dress
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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
Haaaapy Monday! I'm loving this silk crepe dress from Diane von Furstenberg. I like the splitneck (which can be worn open, like a V, or closed, like a keyhole), and the knee length, loose skirt (which can be worn belted or not). The tiered pleats on the bodice seem interesting yet timeless. It comes in light mauve (pictured) and chili, and sells for $425 at Saks, Bloomingdale's, Bergdorf Goodman, and Net-a-Porter. Kimian Pleated Silk Dress
Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail editor@corporette.com with “TPS” in the subject line.
(L-6)
Sales of note for 3/10/25:
- Nordstrom – Spring sale, up to 50% off
- Ann Taylor – 40% off everything + free shipping
- Banana Republic Factory – 40% off everything + 20% off
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off all sale and select styles with code
- J.Crew – 40% off everything + extra 20% off when you buy 3+ styles
- J.Crew Factory – 50% off all pants & sweaters; extra 50% off clearance
- M.M.LaFleur – Friends and family sale, 20% off with code; use code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Flash sale until midday 3/14: $50 off every $200 – combineable with other offers, including 40% off one item and 30% off everything else
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- I'm fairly senior in BigLaw – where should I be shopping?
- how best to ask my husband to help me buy a new car?
- should we move away from DC?
- quick weeknight recipes that don’t require meal prep
- how to become a morning person
- whether to attend a distant destination wedding
- sending a care package to a friend who was laid off
Gosh, that is flat out gorgeous. Good thing I just got my credit card bill and have been shocked into not spending any more money!
Threadjack: Has anyone had any luck with these creams that are supposed to lighten dark spots and/or freckles? I have already tried one with a tiny bit of success, but not much, and I just started using the Clinique one.
I would also like to know the answer. I have tons of dark spots — freckles, moles, what have you — that I would like to lighten! My dermatologist says she won’t do removal for mere cosmetic reasons.
I used up two bottles of the Clinique one on sun spots along my jaw–no help, and also 4% hydroquinone Rx only from my derm–neither worked totally, but the Rx worked better. Retin A is the best overall for just about whatever ails your skin, and it lightened some dark patches nearer my mouth.
Nothing short of dermatologist removal is going to work on moles, but dark spots from sun exposure and acne scars should respond to bleaching creams and/or Retin A.
You should come to my dermatologist. They’re always trying to get me to do stuff “for cosmetic reasons.”
I love my moles.
My cousin swears by the Clinique one, and has said that it has significantly improved her dark spots due to acne. I got a sample of it at Sephora, but I wasn’t expecting to see much of a difference in 2 days, and I didn’t. The good thing about the Clinque one is that it doesn’t have hydroquinone, which can evidently lead to birth defects/cancer.
The Caudalie serum is pretty good. It won’t make things disappear overnight, but I have noticed gradual lightening over 4 weeks. It’s about $70 here at Sephroa, but if you happen to have a trip to France coming up, they sell it there in Drug stores for $40.
I think that freckles and the dark spots caused by acne have different sources. For the latter, gentle, gradual exfoliation through the use of products like Retin-A and of course, eliminating the acne, seem to work best.
Pretty, but WAY to expensive for my taste! My husband would cut up all of my credit cards!!!!!
I don’t know specifically, but I have been using beautypedia for product recommendations after seeing the site mentioned on this blog. So far I have found the reviews on the site to be spot on. I would check there.
I wasn’t that impressed with Clinique’s treatment; I think Arcona’s Lightening Drops are much better. And don’t forget sunscreen *every* day.
My dermatologist said also to put sunscreen on the backs of your HANDS every day to prevent them from aging. If you have a wrinkle-free face, your hands can telegraph your age!
My sensitive skin can’t handle hydroquinone – it gives me red bumps that look even worse than my sun spots. I read the other day that some people have had good luck with lemon juice, and thought that made perfect sense. I picked up a couple of lemons over the weekend but haven’t gotten around to trying it yet. I guess I’ll dampen a little cotton pad with the lemon juice and wipe it over my face, like I do with my toner, then I’ll probably let it sit for a little while, then rinse and moisturize. Then if it doesn’t irritate my skin, I’ll try leaving it on a little longer. Bonus – I’ll smell nice :)
Our office gala dinner was fri night and the MC pulled me , along with 5 other unlucky colleagues, onstage to do the worst dance type stupid steps that I suck at. Doesn’t help that I cannot shake a leg to save my life! And now the office knows how un coordinated I am….:(
Ladies, PL tell me they’ll forget….
Others had do be models on stage and pretend to catwalk…I think even that’d be better than the inane dancey stuff I did….!!
Unless you’re a dance instructor, it doesn’t matter if you’re a bad dancer. I’m sure your colleagues appreciated the laugh!
I hate, hate, hate being made a spectacle of. I’m sorry this happened to you – I will never understand why some idiot party planner thinks forcing people on stage is a good idea.
How awkward, I would not have enjoyed that. I’m sure your coworkers appreciated that you and your fellow dancers and models were good sports about it but know better than to keep bringing it up. If anyone says anything about your moves, I would just say something like, “Yeah, wasn’t the DJ crazy” to take the focus away from you (and maybe send a signal to avoid that DJ for future office events).
Sounds like kind of a team building moment, in which case it’s actually better that you were kind of bad at the silly dance steps than if you had been good at them. More connection with the team, laughing together, etc.
Gorgeous dress! But, in what world is that color “light mauve”?
This:)
You don’t have a naked dress for work? It’s all the rage! Pair it with your nude-for-you shoes and you’re good to go.
Ha!
Random note of interest – Mauve (as a fabric dye) was discovered by an 18-year old chemist (in 1856) trying to synthesize artificial quinine, and was the first artificially (not from materials already found in nature) created fabric dye.
Yes, I am a chemistry nerd.
Nice, Argie. Love the trivia!
I’m reading The Emperor of All Maladies right now (very good book), and apparently the first chemotherapies emerged from fabric dyes in Germany!
Me too! Love the meandering discussion of interesting facts I’d never known before (including the mauve dye bit). Unfortunately, it’s due back to the library in a few days, not renewable, and I still have 100 pages to go…
This book is really very captivating: Mauve: How One Man Invented a Color That Changed the World by Simon Garfield
I’d call it “taupe.” In French, the equivalent of “To be blind as a bat” is “Être myope comme une taupe” (to be as nearsighted/myopic as a mole).
I wonder if moles are ever beige.
It could be that it looks a little more purple/lilac in person, which would lean more maeve than taupe (which is grayer, I think).
Having a problem and looking for your thoughts and advice!
Over the past couple weeks, I’ve noticed small to medium sized holes in several (3-4) pairs of panties. I purchased them all around the same time, maybe two years ago, and figured they were all reaching end-of-life simultaneously. Seemed like no big deal.
This morning, I noticed a much newer top (fortunately just a Gap shirt that was on clearance for $4.97 before an additional discount!!) that had a small hole right in the stomach area. I’ve worn it perhaps once or twice. Embarrassingly, it’s been living in a pile on top of my dresser.
Now I am starting to worry that this could be a problem with moths. Is that what this sounds like? I’ve done some preliminary internet research on how to deal with moths and there are a lot of recommendations – any especially potent tips (that hopefully don’t involve mothballs) from the ladies here? I’ve been lucky so far that I haven’t cared about anything that’s been ruined, so I want to get this under control ASAP if it’s not just a coincidence (i.e., end of life for the underwear, and a low quality shirt).
I notice a lot of small holes in my tops, mostly in the stomach area too. I think it’s from low-quality fabric rubbing against the button of my pants and high heat in the dryer (which I use for my t-shirts, but not for my delicates). I wouldn’t immediately think moths, especially if you haven’t actually seen any moths. I think it’s just a coincidence.
Could it also be your washer/dryer? My apartment has terrible appliances, and tends to put lots of wee holes in my knits.
I found holes in my clothes in the stomach area, I realized that I had a belt with a little grate on it and it cut tiny holes into my shirts.
With the panties it depends where the wholes are. Maybe the fabric was exposed to sour body fluids?
Oh, I’m so sorry, I brought that into everybody’s mind.
Moths like all natural fabrics. Look at your wools and cashmere…those are their favorite
I found this was happening with some cotton H&M shirts – I figured out it was from my belt when wearing them with jeans. If all the little holes are in the stomach area, maybe you’re having the same problem?
If all the holes are happening in the same general geographic area, check your pants to see if they have sharp or rough bits that are scratching at your clothes.
They’re not, unfortunately (that would be an easy solve)! In fact, the hole in the shirt seems to be a few inches above my belly button off to one side a bit. The underwear holes are a mixed bag – a couple in front, one in the back… nothing in the vicinity of body fluids.
If it happens to multiple shirts, then maybe it’s a shoddy washer/dryer. If it’s just the one, I’d chalk it up to a defective shirt. For all you know, it was that way when you bought it – since it was on deep discount it could have been a return.
Your clothes are getting caught in the teeth of your pants zipper, it happens to me all the time with those longer tissue tops.
The moth holes I’ve found have only been in my cashmere sweaters (at least they have taste). I happened to pick up an article on clothing care and moths are surprisingly hard to get rid of.
I would look to other reasons suggested by people here, e.g., mechanical friction.
I have my own laundry tale of woe. I’m very particular about the clothes I wash together: I try to wash only blacks, only browns, etc., red is a PITA because I never seem to have enough. My sister, who was visiting, insisted that I was being too picky. All colors except for red can be washed together. She put in a black and white synthetic blouse and now I have fibers all over my dark clothes.
This probably won’t explain the panties, but might explain the shirt: do you use a laptop that brushes against your stomach?
My laptop has an annoying bright blue LED on the front edge. I covered it with black electrical tape, then forgot about it. Months later, I was getting strange black marks on near the bottom of my shirts. Yup, it was the black tape goo rubbing off. Took me a long time to figure it out, though.
Keep your eyes open for other things that lightly but regularly touch your stomach. The edge of your desk, the inside of your favorite jacket, even the kitchen counter where you wash the dishes.
I have never heard of moths attacking panties; I don’t think they usually eat cotton, nylon, etc., just wool?
They eat anything with microscopic leftover bits of us/the world on them.
We get/have carpet beetles (common name here, may be other names) that eat holes similar to moths. They seem to go for the sweaters, but they will eat various kinds of fibers. Look for the little 1/4 in. or so fuzzy caterpillar-kinda lookin’ things. If you find them (or their shedded skins), that’s the culprit. Also hard to get rid of. Boric acid works (not sure if it’s safe around pets?)
Just for the record, I’m pretty sure “pile on top of my dresser” is a completely valid clothing storage solution. That’s how you know something is worn but not dirty. It’s outfit purgatory. There’s probably even something plastic at Ikea called klothspille for that purpose.
“There’s probably even something plastic at Ikea called klothspille for that purpose.”
Ha! That made my day.
Totally agree.
Get cedar blocks or balls to put in your drawer. It’s a natural moth repellent.
Does that really work??? You don’t have to use those horrible moth balls????? I refuse to visit my mother during the winter because of the smell. There is no way you can fall asleep with that stench emanating from the comforter and electric blankets; even being around her in a confined area is challenging because of how terrible her clothes smell. Her Christmas stocking is going to be stuffed with cedar balls this year!
From my preliminary moth research this morning, my understanding is that cedar is good, but not as good as the moth balls. If she doesn’t actually have an active problem she’s battling, I think cedar would be a great substitute!
Cedar works, but you have to use quite a bit. Lavendar is also a good natural moth repelent. I use both in comdination.
Repellant is not the same as insecticide–any strong scent–scented soaps are good, too, will repel moths,but once they lay the eggs, the hatched larva will eat your clothes.
I’m thinking you have zippers you aren’t closing or something like that that is tearing these holes, but if you do have bugs, you’ll need to clean everything and de-bug your storage spaces. Then you can use the nice smelling repellants.
Yup, E is right that it works- just not as well as the chemical stuff. That’s why a lot of old trunks and wardrobes are cedar lined. I hadn’t heard about lavender, but a nice sachet of lavender and cedar chips could be a great gift.
If she’s using enough moth balls that you can smell it that well (badly?), she’s probably using too much. Moth balls, if overused, are toxic and can cause significant health problems.
We buy the sticky moth traps – pieces of sticky cardboard you fold into a little triangle. They have some sort of moth attractant and it’s supposed to interrupt the breeding cycle if you can catch them at the right stage. Good luck!
I highly recommend cedar. You can buy bags of cedar blocks for just this purpose at Target, Wal-mart, etc.
Also keep in mind that those little critters only eat on things that have human smell on them. So make sure to wash or have your sweaters cleaned before you store them. Do your laundry promptly. And while I do the same in my climate, you might want to reconsider the pile on the dresser.
I really like the textural look and silhouette of these dresses, but neither color is doing it for me.
Lovely dress, though out of my price range (alas!).
I’m doing my first cross-examination tomorrow at a public utility commission hearing. Anybody have any last-minute advice? How about ways to stay calm?
Don’t ask questions you don’t know the answer to. Try to plot out what you want to bring out ahead of time and anticipate the different paths the cross can go.
And, don’t worry! It’s a learning process and as long as you are learning from the experience, you are accomplishing what you need to do. Good luck!
Figure out before preparing what you’re trying to get out of your appearance. Focus on those points.
Be extremely organized. At least 90% of law practice is organization. Have any documents you need in separate folders with copies. Number and label the folders. Create an index of the documents with their numbers. Highlight anything important on your working copy of the document. Create an outline with subject headings and references to the folder numbers so you can get to the docs as quickly as possible. The testimony may not come out the way you think it will or in the order you expect.
Rough out possible questions, or if necessary, write them out completely. Try to think of the direct exam responses that would trigger certain cross exam questions. As this is a hearing, it sounds like you don’t have to worry about evidentiary rules.
Listen to the answer, while taking notes. Harder than it sounds, especially if one’s adrenalin is pumping.
Get there early.
I think making sure you are prepared is the best way to stay calm. Cheesy right? But just know the file inside and out, and think about the issues from both sides and to try to take apart your arguments. The better you prepare the less likely you are to get thrown off by something unexpected.
I second the suggestions of not asking questions you don’t know the answer to, and I would add that you should keep the questions short and simple, so that the person has to give a direct answer and does not have the opportunity to explain away.
Good Luck!
From the PUC side (I do energy work) — be really comfortable with the technical aspects of whatever your issue is. Witness may try to snow you with tech gobbledy-gook so be confident and prepared to give it right back.
To the extent you can, write our your cross-examination questions. And don’t ask Perry Mason questions. Your witness is probably not going to admit fault. ;-)
Be polite. I have found being kind and respectful of the witness gets me much further than coming out of the gates hostile. As you corner the witness, be stern but not frantic. I look very young for my age, so I am frequently underestimated, until it is too late for the witness. Also, take it slow. By keeping a controlled pace, you will stay calm.
Thanks, all. The partner I’m working with is big into writing out questions, so I’ve done that (it helps that we had pre-filed testimony). I don’t have many exhibits, but they’ll be organized. And I think I have to remind myself to slow down the entire time – I tend to speed through things.
That dress is beautiful! In fact it’s one of the first “Splurge Monday” items that I would consider buying. DVF is an amazing designer.
Agreed. I love this dress in “chili.”
My Nordstrom’s Anniversary Sale Review:
Halogen Split Neck (353183) in Painterly Gray. Love it. Super lightweight, kind of blousy and loose fitting, easy to tuck into skirts. It says that it is slightly sheer, but I don’t see that at all (I think they have a white/slightly sheer version). Runs a little large – I’m typically on the smaller side of medium in shirts, but the small fits me really well.
Eliza J. dress (359891) in Navy. Love the color – it’s more blue than traditional navy. The dress hits at the knee (I’m roughly 5’7″), maybe slightly below. The fabric, which I believe is mostly polyester, is fairly heavy, so it hangs nicely, but there is a sheen to it that I’m not sure I love. The top portion of the dress is also a bit loose – I’m debating whether I should have a tailor put a stitch in it, or just return the dress. Unfortunately Nordstrom’s seems completely sold out of the dress in a smaller size (in all colors!), so I can’t see if a small size would fit better.
Classiques Entier Faux Wrap Silk Blouse (354644) – it runs a little large as well, I got the small and it fits me perfectly. Love the shape – super flattering, neckline is totally fine for work. My only issue is that I’m not entirely sure what to wear it with. I think it will be great untucked with a pair of pants, but I can’t wear pants in this heat. For those of you who purchased the blouse, how are you wearing it with skirts? Tucked in?
I’ve been eyeing those two blouses online for a while; I wanted to try them on in the store but they didn’t have them. Might have to purchase them online as they are great staples.
For the faux wrap blouse, does it not work well with a pencil skirt?
Maybe it’s just my proportions, but tucking the blouse into a skirt looks sort of weird to me (like, my torso/stomach isn’t long enough to make it work, and the wrap part is very close to the top of my skirt), and keeping the shirt untucked means that the portion of the shirt that overlaps with the skirt is odd looking as well. Maybe I just need to experiment more!
I also hit Nordstrom over the weekend:
Halogen Split Neck (353183) in black: I also love this shirt. I found it to be very flattering for me (short and large of chest), but also saw someone with a completely different body type also carry it out of the dressing room. The solid colors are definitely sheer (tried on black and cream), though the neck is split low enough that I’d need a camisole underneath anyway.
Halogen Houndstooth Pencil Skirt (351115): also nice and lightweight, came right to the middle/bottom of my knee cap (5’1″). Nice drape to it and I think it should go nicely with a lot of colors, being both black and brown.
Classiques Cowl Neck Sweater (354698) – color unclear. I would say I got this in avocado, since that’s the only green listed online, but that looks very yellow on my screen. The green I got was much more in the middle of the blue-yellow spectrum. Substantial knit, lay very nicely. Slightly long on me, so probably not for the tallest among us. I’m hoping I will wear the green – the purple and ‘tanzanite’ were also really lovely, but I have so many tops in those colors that I felt I needed to branch out.
Also opted for the halogen seamed skirt that’s a favorite here, but they were all out of my size so it is winging its way to me by mail.
I tried on the cowl sweater and found that even the XS seemed really big on me (and I’m not super tiny). Anyone else have this problem, or maybe the sweater is just supposed to fit on the looser side?
Thanks – forgot about this. I did size down in the sweater. It was definitely on the big side.
I got the Eliza dress in both navy and clay. I expected to like the navy more, but found that it was a bit dark for my skin color and almost looked too much like black. Both my husband and I preferred the clay, although the lighter color highlights the fact that the dress’s fabric is on the thin side. Nevertheless, the silohuette is very flattering on most body types. The length is a tad too long for me, I will likely get it hemmed (I’m 5’5, and it hits about 2 inches below the knee).
The seamed skirt was another success I had. Got it in the purple and magenta (the magenta has not shipped yet though). Very flattering on someone like myself with hips.
Reading people’s Nordstrom reviews really make me want to try out their merchandise, but I have to admit I get totally lost and disoriented in the bricks-and-mortar Nordstrom’s stores near me. I can’t seem to figure out if clothing is arranged by age, level of formality, brand… is there a separate department for Halogen, Classique Entier, etc, or is it just scattered through the store? Maybe my best bet is to order online and just pick it up at the store. I don’t really know my size for these brands, though.
Love them but I agree that their layout is a bit counter-intuitive, with areas like “Individualist” (huh?)
I suggest you browse online and when you see something you like, look at the details section at left, the last line is usually the department where the item sits. Not all items have it, but a lot do, and after a few you’ll figure out where your preferred styles tend to be. In my experience, “Individualist” has a lot of Classiques Entier, Trina Turk, etc. and “Point of View” is slightly younger/cheaper (Halogen).
For example the below item (picked at random) is in Point of View.
http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/halogen-zip-front-peacoat/3167925?origin=keywordsearch&resultback=479
If all else fails ask an associate! They are all super helpful.
Thanks for the tip on the info on the website. That’s a good starting place for me.
DC must be the only place in the world with cranky Nordstrom associates. I bought some pants there and had them hemmed, and the associate seemed rather put out that I didn’t know the process (I think I accidentally locked myself out of the dressing room because a woman came to pin my pants and then just left without saying a word). Just this weekend I bought a giftcard for my sister. First, the associate made what I thought was a slightly snide comment about “giftcard” rather than “gift,” so I explained that I was sending it to Chicago and that my sister likes to use the cards for trips to the Nordstrom spa. Well, the associate had apparently never heard of the Nordstrom spa and seemed to doubt that I knew what I was talking about. I’m like, dude, I’ve been there about 8 times, it’s a lovely, lovely spa on Michigan Avenue with “Nordstrom” plastered all over it and receipts printed with “Nordstrom.”
Maybe we’re all just cranky because of the heat. But I really don’t think I’ve ever had the true fabulous Nordstrom customer service experience around here. Except for the bra ladies, they’re pretty helpful.
Did you go to Pentagon City or Montgomery Mall?
You are so right about the spa! The one on Mich Ave is lovely. They don’t have it in every store, so perhaps that is why the “rude” sales person was confused. In any case, she should have just agreed with you and moved on. Regarding the brick and mortar store– you can call the personal shopper dept in your neighborhood Nordstrom and they can start gathering clothes that you would be interested in for you (both for work and casual weekend stuff). They are interested in building a relationship with you so don’t worry about the need to spend lots of $$ off the bat. I did this a while back and during my first appt., I spent about $400 on staple pieces. Since then, I have called my personal shopper when I have needed new pieces, or clothes for my husband or gifts for nieces. She has a list of the brands that I like, sizes (for me and my husband) and colors that I gravitate towards. Also, if I know I will be going to shop, I give her a list of skin care/cosmetics items that I need (and use all the time) that way, I don’t have to run all over the store. It really saves on time! Also, the personal shoppers are interested in building a relationship with you, and in my experience, they are knowledgeable and they provide the best customer service in the store. One off sales associates (esp. the ones that are seasonal) can sometimes be frustrating to deal with.
@Bonnie – Montgomery Mall.
They’re not particularly friendly there and have some odd employees. Last time I went to that store, the only person working in the Classiques area was an older woman wearing leather shorts and animal print.
You are not alone–I have shopped in LA and SF at Nordstrom, and have always found the associates to be downright rude and snotty/snobby, even when I was dressed well! It makes me not want to shop there, ever, even when I pine for an item only carried at Nordstrom.
this made me think of that awful Real Housewives of DC. I think the rap on the Michaela character was that she used to work at Nordstrom before she snagged her rich husband. She wasn’t necessarily cranky but definitley cukoo crazy!
I thought about both shirts as well but didn’t love the way the necklines looked with jackets.
threadjack!
any recommendations for a laser hair removal place in northern virginia/DC area?
Thanks!
Do NOT go to Reveal. They will suck you in but seriously are absolutely terrible. I had laser hair removal which actually didn’t work and damaged my skin. After the fact, they had so many complaints about that particular type, that they discontinued it and returned to an older technology. This was about 2 years ago and I’m just now at the point where I could potentially get it done correctly because of the previous damage. I’d look into derms that offer this. I see Dr. Stolar over on 17th and I and love him.
Depends on what body part you’re looking to remove hair from, but I highly recommend electrolysis from Soheila at A Gentle Touch in Rockville, MD. If you’re looking for hair removal on the face, electrolysis is the way to go I think, particularly if you have brown/darker skin.
I successfully did Reveal 4 years ago. Think it was called something else then? Anyhow, quite a few sessions, but worked. They say it comes back when you get pregnant (hormones), which is a dark lining to a silver cloud, but till then, so far, so great.
Not sure if there is one near you, but I used a Sona Med Spa for my legs and I loved the results!
I’ve been happy with Ruff Plastic Surgery in Foggy Bottom. I got a groupon so am not sure what their normal prices are like.
Early Threadjack.
I’m a regular commenter but am staying anon for this question to the hive mind…
How do you deal with a lack of motivation/concentration? I have always been a little slow getting things done – but in the past month or so I am realizing that I literally spend more time at work surfing the web than I do working. I have been able to “get away with it” as I have a fairly senior, in-house position with no strong supervision. I think it started because things were a little slow but now I am at the point where I am having to make excuses for not getting things done.
Honestly, if I were my boss I would probably fire me. But since I am not really willing to go quite that far, does anyone have any suggestions as to how to get my mojo back!
TIA!!!!!
I’ll be watching for a reply to this question… I think my problem is I don’t really see any immediate effect (positive or negative) of my efforts, so it starts to get hard to care.
I have no advice, but I am having this problem too, and am starting to get a little alarmed. It’s pretty out of character for me; I’m not a last-minute person, and am usually a very hard worker. I think at least part of it is not being particularly engaged with my work these days, but that really doesn’t seem to explain it all. I’d fire me, too, if I saw my browsing history.
Pomodoro technique et al. are not working, either.
I have to laugh because I actually asked the Pomodoro Group what to do because the Pomodoro Technique wasn’t working. Sometimes nothing works.
Get screened for depression. It tooks months of that behavior for me to realize how much I really hated my job. I loved my coworkers and one of my clients but the job was just a terrible match for me. I’m currently unemployed which is a little rough but I don’t miss the job one bit.
I had the same problems you’re describing. Got screened for depression, started taking Lexapro, and am doing so much better now. It took about two months for the meds to help fully restore my concentration.
Also intersted in responses. I’m definitely not depressed, I am generally quite happy with my job, and absloutely love work when it gets into “pressure cooker” mode and I’m prepping for trial or doing fast-paced discovery work. But, lately things have just been in a lull and I cannot find the energy or desire to work on those little projects where time is not an immediate issue. My web browsing history is mortifying. How do I recommit myself to getting things done?
What are you doing outside of work? A lot of times when I’m unmotivated at work, I have nothing going on outside of work either. If you get involved in a project/class or two outside of work to keep yourself busy, you should be more interested in getting the work done when you are at work.
I myself think I have a bad case of imposter syndrome. I should probably review those posts and read a couple of the books.
While you’re looking up books, I’m going to plug Neil Fiore’s The Now Habit. I have had/have huge problems motivating myself, and it was inspiring and helpful. He also suggests committing to working for “just” 10 minutes or 30 minutes (like the Pomodoro technique), and talks about how you can reframe your work to help yourself out of a rut.
Despite what I said in reply to someone else, the Pomodoro Technique can be very helpful. There’s a cheat sheet on their home page. You can either get a manual timer, use your phone or iPod, or use a web-based timer.
You can try web-blocking programs such as StayFocsd, Leechblock, and Freedom.
This is just a little trick, but it might help get you started. Sometimes when I’m having trouble picking up work, I pick an upcoming time on the clock and tell myself I have to work solid for one hour after that, no websurfing. So when 9:15 rolls around, I have to drop the websurfing and work until 10:15. That’s all, then I can go back to the web — just a one hour commitment. And often by 10:15 I’m so immersed in work that I can keep going.
Doesn’t always work, but it might be a handy trick on some days. Then again, you may be having a deeper problem with work and this advice may be useless. I hope you can figure it out though, good luck.
One other thing – are you getting enough sleep? I also have problems where work is just a little too slow, leading to too much web surfing, but I find that I am particularly inclined to blow off work and surf when I am tired.
I do this, but I have to tell myself 10 minutes – I can’t commit to an hour. But 10 minutes usually turns into an hour or so, then I take a break for a while, then repeat.
I have the same problem and was diagnosed with clinical depression. In my case, lack of natural light in my office seemed to exacerbate it, and a light therapy box has helped my concentrate. Using the LeechBlock add-on on Firefox has also helped by eliminating distractions. I also find that if I get enough sleep (9 hours or so) I concentrate better, but I can only achieve that with sleeping pills. And it is still very, very difficult to motivate myself. Anti-depressants might be the next step.
So consider speaking with a therapist. Among other benefits, if your work does start to slip, if you have a diagnosed illness you’ll have some legal protections to prevent your employer from taking action against you.
I can really relate, although I think my problem has more to do with the fact that I don’t really like what I’m doing, and am at a loss as to what else I could do. I’m 51, and the thought of doing what I’m doing for the next 14 years, the absolute soonest I could retire, makes me want to gouge my eyes out. But, I started out in litigation, switched to corporate/transactional, didn’t like it, worked for the government for a while, didn’t like it, so switched back to litigation, and still don’t like it. I can’t figure out what else to try, and at my age, it’s kind of late to start over. I can’t keep changing jobs, but it is such a struggle to get out of bed in the morning. Guess I’ll keep buying lottery tickets.
Isn’t it so strange how some people can have jobs that are completely dull and they look at work as totally utilitarian, like it’s something they do 40 hours a week just so they can pay to do the things they really enjoy? And then others of us feel so unsatisfied and can’t make ourselves work at a job we don’t love? I kind of wish I was the former type, but I’m totally the latter.
I am getting screened for adult ADHD in 3 weeks for the same reason.
thanks everyone for your thoughtful comments and responses. i am so glad to hear that I am not the only one!
I am guessing that it is depression, but I have also downloaded leechblocker and am going to try the “10 minutes” thing (again!).
Thanks again.
Does anyone have any tips on getting to work earlier? Lately there’s been a slow creep in my morning schedule where I’m getting to work later and later. My problem is that I really enjoy slow mornings of drinking coffee and chatting with S.O., and I can’t seem to motivate myself to get out the door. It might just be lazy summer, or that I’m not so busy at work that I have to get in early for any reason, but nevertheless I feel like I should get in a little earlier and can’t seem to make it happen. Any advice?
Can you wake up earlier? I have my little routine with cell phone alarm plus clock radio alarm and a certain number of times hitting the sleep button, and I just moved everything ahead 5-10 minutes so I can still go through the alarm cycles, but I get up earlier.
I’m also not busy at work, and the traffic is a little lighter if I go through town even 5-10 minutes later, so it’s been difficult for me, too.
I do this too! I generally try to gauge how many times I want to hit “snooze” the next morning, and just set the alarm that many minutes earlier. It allows me to pretend I’m getting to sleep longer, but still get up on time (or early if that’s what you’re going for).
I realize this is totally a mind game, but it works for me… you just have to be willing to believe you’re sleeping longer when you’re not :)
One thing that works for me is to lay out (and try on) an outfit the night before. I rarely do it, but it’s helpful when I do. I also set a second alarm for the time when I need to put down my coffee and laptop and start getting in gear.
I have just accepted that I need at least 2 hours of time in the morning, and another 2 hours of time at night, and schedule accordingly. It sucks to get up at 7 so I can be at work at 9:30, and making sure I am home by 8 so I can get dinner and get some me time before going to bed, but it’s necessary for my well being so I do it.
This may sound like torture, but I got rid of coffee at home and only drink it at the office. So now dawdling basically sucks and I know I have my fancy thermos vacuum seal mug and special creamers and whatnot at the office, so it makes me go there. I’d still like to get in earlier, but that’s a matter of getting enough sleep to wake up earlier, not of dawdling.
Also, try telling the SO to get you out of the house. Mine can be surprisingly pushy when he knows it’s what my fully awake self would want.
Having coffee only at the office is a great idea!
Corporettes, hoping you can provide some advice. I’m currently a lobbyist and am considering a shift. Ideally, I’d like a more “portable” career and perhaps something where you are not constantly on call. Project management came to mind since I have a knack for organizing people, work processes and am of course like any other type A, detail oriented. Anyone have any advice about this field or making a drastic shift from one field to another?
I am a project manager (in marketing), and I hate it. I am working VERY hard to get into a more specialized role. As a PM, nothing is your own. Everyone else is doing the “real” work, and you’re just tracking it. Everyone thinks you do nothing but set meetings, take notes, send out recaps and harrass people. That’s the perception of this role, anyway. Plus, I feel that it is a very high-risk role, because if the company’s culture doesn’t support accountability, PMs are the first to go. Prior to my current role (for which I accepted the risk), I have worked with several PMPs and black belt PMs – and watched them all lose their jobs because of a clash with the corporate culture. (I’m not a PMP, etc. I came into this role from a account director role in advertising/marketing.) In order for me to survive, I’ve really had to let go of the accountability that should be inherent in project management, and focus on politics and problem-solving. It’s incredibly frustrating. I feel like 4 years of this has made me less competitive in the job market as well as internally. (I’d been told it would be easy to transfer internally because I’d know so much about the company, but the fact is that the generalist will lose out to the specialist every time.)
I’m not a PM, but I work with many PMs (I am one of the people who does “substantive” work). Everything BB says is true in my experience. I work in the nonprofit sector.
The skill set for such a job is often similar to that of a very good secretary. Nothing wrong with being a secretary/admin assistant but if you’re looking for more of a career where you’ll really be seen as adding value and have lots of room to advance, this is absolutely not it. Maybe HR would be of interest to you? At least in HR you can use your soft skills and also have some potential to advance (head of HR in medium to large companies is a pretty sweet job, from what I’ve heard). You might also be a decent candidate for business school if you have strong soft skills but no real “hard” skills outside of lobbying to speak of (though you’d want a more specific goal before you go that route).
The secretary comparison is SO true. My counterpart PM is a former AA, and she brings that approach to her job. This could easily be a “terminal” career. I really wouldn’t recommend it unless you don’t have other long-term career goals and you’re just looking for a steady job that lets you go home at the end of the day while other people do the “real” work to meet their deadlines.
I would imagine you could switch from lobbying to corporate PR or IR very easily. (That’s my background, and our firm employed lobbyists.) And PR can lead to Marketing (again, my background).
You could try becoming an in house lobbyist. I made the shift from law firm lobbyist to working for one of my clients about a year ago and I love it! I now am responsible for mulitple states so it still gets a little crazy but you get to focus your attention on one company and one general area.
Last minute threadjack: I just realized that we have firm pictures this afternoon. I’m in court this morning, so I’m dressed and primped well, but I’m wearing a light gray suit with a dark blue top. Should I stop home (not very far out of the way) to change into a darker suit and lighter top? (both suits are a quality that I’m happy with, my only concern is the color).
Do you know if the photos will be black and white or color? I think your current outfit would look fine in color, but I might be concerned that it would look odd in b&w.
I’m 95% sure that they will be in color.
Can you snap a pic of yourself on your cell to see how it will come out?
Love this outfit!!! Alas, it’s not in my budget. :(
First, I can’t believe a $425 dress is not lined.
Second, I rarely find silk dresses to be worth the hassle. One is always concerned about lumps and bumps, which can be aggravated by an ill-fitting slip, and the dress can usually only be worn once or twice before having to be dry cleaned.
And I think the color is some kind of “taupe.” If that’s “mauve” I need to take one of those colorblindness tests. :-)
DVF silk dresses tend to be in a substantial and forgiving material. I’ve never had to wear a slip under one.
I think I would immediately have giant sweat circles if I wore this. I’m not a huge sweat-er, but the combination of silk and that color…
Just wanted to let everyone know that I got the BR suit from last week in the mail over the weekend. The rosette is just pinned on (and I think there was one or two tiny stitches holding it flat, but easily snipped.)
Nice! That makes the suit much more tempting…
I saw it at the mall, too, and if I needed suits anymore, I would buy it. I think it’s really nice-looking, stylish, but not too trendy.
It’s nice not to have a dress code, but sometimes I miss my former job where I occasionally got to pull out the suits.
Oh, I wish I’d known this when it was 40% off yesterday. It’s still 35% off today… hmm.
Saw this on a website and thought about the conversation a while back about someone wearing a target dress to a White House function.
Here is Michelle Obama herself in target! She always looks amazing.
http://nymag.com/daily/fashion/2011/03/the_michelle_obama_look_book_2_1.html#photo=2×00138
Oh my gosh, look at how lovely Malia looks in that family pic where she’s wearing the purple dress! She is going to be an absolute stunner.
Michelle is so beautiful.
Also, I love that she wears converse low-tops. :)
Threadjack:
I’m a long-time reader, but infrequent post-er. But I’ve really come to appreciate the collective wisdom and experiences of this community and thought someone out here might be able to help with the following.
My husband and I are considering relocating to London (where he grew up and where his family still lives). For a number of different reasons, he’ll have a lot of job opportunities there. As for me — I’m not sure. I’m a lawyer in the U.S., and my law firm does not have a London office (so a transfer would not be possible). I do litigation, and although some people have told me that I could do corporate/transactional work at a London firm, I’m just not interested in that kind of work. (Have tried it — did not enjoy it.)
Any thoughts on how an American-trained lawyer can practice law in the UK? Do I have to take classes to become a solicitor? Is there any chance of me becoming a barrister? Or any thoughts on where I can turn for answers? (I haven’t found very much online.)
I’m open to finding a non-law job, but for the most part, I enjoy practicing law and would rather not make a career switch if not necessary.
Thanks for your help!
The rules have recently changed in the UK to allow more nationalities to transfer in. Here is a list of recognized jurisdictions- http://www.sra.org.uk/solicitors/qlts/recognised-jurisdictions.page. The other links on that page should help you decide whether transferring is an option for you. From what I understand, the exams are expensive and in three separate parts, so it may take you some time to actually become qualified as a solicitor. More information about the assessment can be found here – http://www.kaplanqlts.com/page/the-assessment.
A friend looked into this years ago…I believe there is a bar exam to become a solicitor. Barrister is a big leap, but soliciters can no appear in court.
The Qualified Lawyer Transfer Test (QLTT) is ridiculously easy. Email me if you want more info. I (US litigator) worked for a year in my firm’s London office and took the QLTT to become a Solicitor. It seriously requires little more than a weekend of studying. You do need a year practicing with a UK firm to actually get qualified as a Solicitor, so this is something you would undertake after finding a job at a firm in London. I don’t know for sure but I don’t think you have a shot at becoming a barrister. They are usually the top few people from Oxford/Cambridge and have to have significant capital to start their practice as they are all solo practitioners, though they share admin costs by sitting with other barristers in chambers. Note that litigating as a Solicitor is very different than how we do it here. As (generally) only barristers have rights of argument, solicitors work up the case and do most of the pretrial stuff, but hand the cases off to barrister to argue and actually try. From my experience, barristers usually play a large role in drafting of pleadings as well. I found that a lot of the work I was doing felt like busy work – creating 80-page chronologies of the case, etc.
ANYHOW, I would try applying at both US firms with London offices and UK firms before giving up on the law. Good luck!
Are you at a big law firm? I’d talk to a recruiter. It’s not unusual for US trained lawyers to work at major law firms in London. Not sure about whether there’d be non-transactional work available, but you should definitely explore this with a recruiter who knows the market.
Thanks for all of the information and advice! I really appreciate your responses. We are still very much in the “considering our options” phase, but it’s nice to have more information to go on.
Another moving threadjack!
My partner and I are considering moving across the country from our family and friends for job reasons. A few years ago we would have jumped at the opportunity, but now that we’re a little older and thinking about our support network in our current location, it’s making us hesitate.
I’m sure some of you have done this before, so I’d appreciate any thoughts, pros/cons, etc.!
I have moved a few times, closer and farther from family, and it’s always hard, especially at first, to be away from familiar friends and family. Over time, you can always make news friends, but it always takes longer than I expect it to or hope for it to.
More importantly, whether or not you have children definitely impacts the equation. We’re about a 5-hour drive from closest parents, and it would be fabulous to have a set here to help with the car-pool juggle, especially when we’re in a bind (even with a nanny, we have 3 kids, so if one of us is out of town or busy, we can’t be at 3 activities.) On the other hand, family is close enough that if we have, for example, an all day wedding or event to attend, I can invite my in-laws for the weekend and not run up a outrageous babysitting bill.
I guess it depends on the job reasons. For me, I currently live 2 hours’ flying time or one day’s drive from family. My current salary is fine, and I like my job but don’t always love it. I considered moving farther away to pursue more interesting career opportunities and more money, but I realized that not being able to go see my parents for the weekend would be a deal-breaker. My parents aren’t getting any younger, and they need me for support as much as I need them. I feel like every moment spent with family is precious and that I didn’t want to give up my regular visits home just to pursue something more interesting and lucrative; I have years and years left to have fun and make money, but a finite (and unknown) amount of time with my parents.
OTOH, I also considered moving back to my home city. I got a couple of job offers, but they would have been at about a 20% pay cut and a huge benefits cut, and my home city has been much more affected by the bad economy than my current city, so the jobs would not have been nearly as secure. I realized that making a decent income and having stability are also very important, and that it wasn’t worth compromising that to move back home. If I’d have taken one of those jobs, my parents would have been worried about me, and I also wouldn’t have been able to support them should they ever need it. Plus, I wasn’t nearly as interested in the substantive work of those jobs as I am in my current job.
So, ymmv, but I concluded that it’s worth it to live somewhat far away in order to have better opportunities and decent pay, but not worth it to live very far away.
Oh, and I also realized that I’d really miss my friends if I moved. Most of my friends are here and they’re a huge support for me (and I for them). That clinched the decision for me.
I did a move from CT to Chicago for work reasons and found the two-career move difficult. Unless you both have jobs worked out in advance, someone is the “trailing spouse” and in this market that can be very difficult emotionally, partiuclarly if he/she left a good job behind. We had small children at the time and leaving family/friends/support network to be unemployed in a town we didn’t know well was hard. The job search eventually turned out very well, though it took longer than expected (and that was in a much better economy), but in the end we decided to move back driving distance from aging parents… which was also closer to more family and friends. Though we made friends eventually, we never felt fully engaged in the social network. Having children is a mixed blessing in this context – having school-age children is helpful since you meet people through kids sports and activities,but having them grow up so far from aunts/uncles/cousins was a big negative. All in all it was great for my career, but if I had it to do over again I wouldn’t.
What type of family environment are you used to? My parents moved to FL without any really network here and they did fine. We didn’t really have any of the cousins/aunts around and it really wasn’t a big factor in our lives. I think we still have a lot less stress during holidays because there’s no pressure to visit or get tons of gifts. My sister and I are pretty independent now as well. My sister lives abroad, but she’s able to talk to my family on Skype at least once a week. It’s a lot easier to stay close with relatives now that there are cheaper/quicker methods of communication.
I don’t think any of my coworkers (including me) are natives to this area and everyone seems to manage fine. Some coworkers are happy to babysit other coworkers’ kids once in a while, or they’ll do childcare swaps, etc. The reality is that you can meet new people and build a support network in most places.
there is an idiot at my firm yet again wearing a backless shirt and showing off her bra and back fat to the world…. As i can do nothing in real life I am complainig here.
Wearing a backless shirt is tacky enough, but aren’t these meant to be worn without a visible bra?
This is a girl who recently lost a lot of weight. I think she is trying to be sexy? Possibly trying to remind everyone she is young? No idea… It enrages me though…
Isn’t a backless shirt basically a bib? I do not think I understand this.
Maybe a halter?
Hang in there, and hope the shirt does, too. :)
Glad this forum exists for our silent gasping, deep breathing, making-it-throughing.
That’s really…special. Aren’t exposed undergarments against most workplace dresscodes?
My firm has a horrendous time keeping assistants. It has reached the point that two of our most busy lawyers share a single secretary. This girl has lasted two years so she could come to work topless probably and they would not fire her.
By backless I mean there is a giant circle hole in the back of her shirt. Maybe keyhole is a more appropriate word? There is more hole than back of shirt in any case.