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Updated: Oct 31, 2018 136 Comments · by

Coffee Break: Dorma Flat

The Personal Shopper (TPS) |

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Tahari Dorma Flat | CorporetteIf you’re the kind of girl who hates a literally flat flat, this teeny tiny wedge heel looks perfect. I like the bold colors here, but Lord & Taylor also has it in a more muted “toast.” The pictured shoes are $45 at 6pm. Tahari Dorma Flat Here's a similar shoe that's available in wide and narrow sizes. (L-4)

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Comments

  1. Hollis

    Do you ladies have any tips on keeping your car clean (on the outside) when you are too cheap to pay for car washes and you are not in an area where you can clean it yourself? Thanks.

    • SS

      I think these are pretty much your only two options – pay someone to clean it or clean it yourself. Or move to somewhere where it rains a lot…

    • Anon

      My tip is not to live in Atlanta in the springtime.

      #yellowgreenpolleneverywhere

      In all seriousness, just try to park it in a covered location whenever possible, and avoid parking under trees (leaves, berries, bird droppings, etc). And don’t go off-roading.

      • Rogue Banker

        Seconded. Between the “Hey, my car was red this morning, why is it yellow now?” and the allergies, Atlanta in the springtime is not as fun as it should be. :(

    • la vie en bleu

      Do you have any coin-op wash it yourself places near you?? Sometimes they are in off-the-main-road locations but they make it easy to do it quickly and cheaply. So I’d look up on google to find one.

      What do you mean by you can’t clean it yourself? Is it just you, or your entire neighborhood. If it’s the former, I would ask around your neighbors and friends and see if someone has a high school kid who wants to earn a few bucks washing your car while they wash theirs?

      If you are talking about CA water restrictions, have you really looked into the self-wash places? Some of them treat and recycle their water, so I think they are not restricted.

      The other options is depending on the weather I guess, but HS groups do carwashes to raise money for trips, etc. If I do that a couple of times it usually gets me through the summer, I don’t wash my car that often.

      • la vie en bleu

        just remembered: I’ve also seen articles periodically like “how to wash your car with one bucket of water” … I would check Lifehacker for something like that.

    • Ciao, pues

      You could get a car cover. You generally see them on fancy cars avoiding dings but if it’s really important to you to have a clean car and you can’t wash it, might be worth your while. Link to follow.

    • Mpls

      Don’t live on gravel roads.
      Don’t park under trees.
      Don’t drive in the mud.
      Park outside when it rains.

      • Anonymous

        I park in a garage at home and at work, and rain is actually what MAKES my car look dirty. It’s not exactly Aquafina falling from the sky.

        • Mpls

          Eh, depends if its a sprinkle or a gullywasher. If you live in a dusty area, then the occasional sprinkle will waterspot the car more than wash it.

    • mascot

      Washing your car is more than an aesthetic consideration. Keeping it free of acidic (bird poop/bugs) and other damaging materials (gasoline, water from sprinklers, road salt, etc) helps keep your paint job in good shape. Which in turn prevents rust. So being cheap in this regard could be problematic in the long run. Having a good coat of wax applied to it a couple of times a year will help protect it. Do gas stations in your area have automatic washes?- it’s usually under $10 with a gas purchase. Also, some auto repair shops/dealerships offer a free basic wash with service.

    • anon

      be satisfied knowing that everyone else’s car is just as yellow?

      Sometimes, just a spray down with a hose will do quite a bit of good. The other thing to do is to take a tip from the pros washing big vehicles and get a brush on a pole rather than trying to use a sponge or mitt on your hand. You can whip through a car with a bucket of suds & a brush in about 10-15 minutes plus rinse for a pretty decent job.

    • anonsg

      I went a year without washing my car.

      I just cleaned the windows and the windshield and rear window (and the side mirrors) so when I sat inside, it didn’t feel like the car was actually brown, hahahahaha.

      Also often times when you take your car in for service, they clean it for you..

  2. Hollis

    A friend is going into surgery and will be resting up for a couple of weeks thereafter. She is worried about being bored. I’d like to put together a care package for her of fun reads – only problem is that I don’t read stuff that’s fun anymore (unless you call web-surfing reading). Please recommend a book title or two. She is in her 30’s, has two kids, a government lawyer, but doesn’t have any particular hobbies. She’s good at cooking, fwiw.

    • Baconpancakes

      Do you know what she likes to read? Historical fiction/non-fiction, travel stories, adventure stories, girl-finding-her-way stories, literary bent, fantasy, sci-fi, romance? Interesting non-fiction on things like salt, chocolate, the spread of the Black Plague? Biographies?

      • SS

        Everyone should read Salt. It’s so good!

        ETA: Do you have a black plague book in mind? I’d be interested in that rec.

        • Baconpancakes

          The Great Mortality, John Kelly, has been on my To-Read Shelf for about three years now.

          Outlander gets tossed around here a lot, but it’s worth a mention. The popular YA fiction like Hunger Games is fun, easy, and a great distraction. John Adams’s biography by McCullough was great, but it’s not exactly light reading. The Night Circus, Erin Morgenstern. The Girl With the Gifts, if you like light-hearted sci-fi horror, The Bone Season, for fantasy alternative history.

        • Former Partner, Now In-House

          re: Black Plague — Geraldine Brooks, “Year of Wonders.”

          If she likes historical fiction about food-related things, Geraldine Brooks’ “People of the Book,” which is about an historical Hagaddah (OK, not exactly a meal, but relates to a meal) and David Liss’ “The Coffee Trader.”

          And if she likes historical fiction in general, the series by Philippa Gregory that starts with “The Queen’s Fool.” Will keep her busy for a week.

          • Lorelai Gilmore

            Geraldine Brooks is so good. I’ve liked all of her books. Also, this is neither light or funny, but the Domesday Book by Connie Willis is haunting and so good and also about the black plague.

          • Baconpancakes

            My friend whose weird fascination is the Black Plague recommends: “The Black Death” by Joseph P Byrne, “A World Lit Only by Fire” by William Manchester, “The Great Mortality” by John Kelly, “In the Wake of the Plague” by Norman F Cantor, and “King Death” by Colin Platt. The Doomsday Book by Connie Willis for fiction.

            Nope, she’s not in epidemiology. It’s just a hobby.

        • Eliza

          I thought I was the only odd duck who had a thing for the plague! I can second all of the recs on this thread pertaining to the subject, but for some reason, Domesday Book by Connie Willis has really stuck with me over time.

          Also, the hive recommended the All Souls trilogy a few months back. It’s a fun, escapist read that would be perfect for recuperating from surgery.

      • Pep

        I also have a weird fascination with the plague/black death. I took a medieval history course in college, and the prof (Robert Gottfried) is an expert on the topic and really caught my interest. His book is “The Black Death: Natural and Human Disaster in Medieval Europe”

    • houston, we have a problem

      tina fey– Bossy pants
      amy pohler’s new book
      mindy kaling’s older new book

      all funny pop culture-y really easy reading

    • Ciao, pues

      I just read The Family Fang. It’s light and fun and a quick 300ish pages. I especially recommend if she’s a fan of wes anderson flicks– it’s got a similar conceit to tennenbaums.

    • Miss Behaved

      Unbecoming by Rebecca Scherm and The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins

    • Anne

      It really depends on what she enjoys reading.

      Yes, Please by Amy Poehler (and Bossy Pants by Tina Fey)

      And then romances ahoy.

      Laura Florand’s Chocolate series is fun romances set in Paris.

      Lauren Willig’s Pink Carnation series is a mix of historical spy romances mixed with contemporary.

      Janet Evanovich’s first Stephanie Plum novels are wacky and fun (after a while they just get repetitive.)

      Grace Burrowes has a contemporary romance series set in a law office.

    • mascot

      i just finished The Boston Girl- it’s like a Jewish version of “A Tree Grows In Brooklyn”

    • Rogue Banker

      Oh yay, another excuse to plug Mary Roach and Christopher Moore! :P
      The former is an amazing science writer who can make any subject interesting – I’d recommend starting out with Packing for Mars and/or Bonk – and the latter is one of the best comedic fiction writers I’ve ever read. Start with Fool or Island of the Sequined Love Nun, but my favorite from him is Lamb (religion-related content, so know your audience, but it’s MAGNIFICENT).

      If she likes sword-n-sorcery fantasy, David and Leigh Eddings wrote two large series that I must have read half a dozen times each. My dad got me reading their work in my teens – the wordplay and banter between the characters is always spot-on and often hilarious.

      One that she can share with the kids, depending on how old they are – a graphic novel called Digger, by Ursula Vernon. Hugo Award winner a few years back, any description I could give will fail to do it justice. Suffice to say there have been few stories that have made me stay up till 3 am because I couldn’t put it down, and this was one of them.

      Also, as always – Terry Pratchett.

    • Lobbyist

      Where did you go, Bernadette
      Cute fun mom-comedy/social satire story told from the point of view of a precocious teen about her quirky family — a light and fun read.

      • Jen

        Seconded! One of my favorite books.

        If you’re going for intrigue rather than comedy, I recommend Never Let Me Go, which I just finished in two days because it was so engrossing.

    • TOS

      Michael Pollan’s “Cooked” is great, though it will make you hungry – I just finished it, and I’m a gardener as well as a cook. I’m now reading Sotomayer’s biography and listening to The Life of Pi.

      Two books I purchased for my Dad are Emperor of Maladies (also on PBS) and Gulp! by Mary Roach. My Dad has cancer and now has an ilieostomy. Mary Roach makes science reading entertaining.

    • Coach Laura

      Novels from Liane Moriarty – What Alice Forgot, Big Little Lies, The Husband’s Secret, The Hypnotist’s Love Story and The Last Anniversary – are kooky, fun but with some weightier issues and are good “beach reading”.

    • Emily

      If I were to be laid up at home I’d inhale the Outlander series, which I am loving (so much better than the show, although I did watch a few episodes first before starting the series).

      GoT is also a good series to start if you have free time.

      • Gail the Goldfish

        Though GOT may not be the best to read while recovering from surgery… because it might be difficult to retrieve the book from the other side of the room after you throw it when you get mad at GRRM for killing off another of your favorite characters.

    • Anon

      I just finished reading “We Were Liars” and “Before I Go to Sleep” on vacation, both of which were great (although just FYI they are both rather upsetting)… read each one in each day because I couldn’t put them down. If she likes books like Gone Girl (also a good read), she’d like those.

    • Anon

      “The Boys in the Boat.” Its about the 1936 US Men’s Olympic rowing team. I didn’t think I would like it but both my mom and aunt raved about it (and my mom never reads non-fiction), so I gave it whirl. Its really great.

    • Amelia Pond

      If she likes romance novels, Julie James is my new favorite romance author. She writes about smart, bad ass female attorneys who fall in love despite their best efforts. The books have hilarious dialogue which makes them a win in my mind. Just the Sexiest Man Alive and Practice Makes Perfect are two of my favorites.

    • Nylon girl

      Loved the language of flowers and the Rosie project was cute. Vi get a lot of book recs from bookmovement dot com.

      • Anonymous

        The Rosie Project and The Rosie Effect are both good. If she likes WW1 history Dead Wake by Eric Larson is about the sinking of the Luisitania and is good.

    • Another anonymous Judge

      The other thing is that if her physician has told her she needs to be off for two weeks to recover – she will not be “resting up”, she will be exhausted. Surgeons don’t give a recovery time that encompasses any time during which she will actually be feeling well. At ALL. I don’t think she’ll be bored one bit – probably just in survival mode. So, maybe a fun, light DVD series that she could doze off in front of? Depending on what she’s into if she’s like me – “Lily”- the BBC production of the life of Lily Langtry (one of my all-time faves and not on Netflix) – “Chef” with Lenny Henry (funny, short and great for foodies even though it’s dated).

      In theory it would be great to be “off” after surgery. Every woman government attorney I ever knew would totally go into surgery with a plan to “productively” use their recovery time. In practice, however, it might not work out quite how she’s envisioning it.

      May I just say, though, that you are a wonderful friend for thinking of this? I will tell you from experience that anything you send her will be greatly appreciated even if she’s not up to finishing it!

  3. Mary Ann Singleton

    Repost (was in the wrong place). Can anyone recommend websites/blogs for putting together cute outfits? I found Outfit Posts and am looking for others. Mostly looking for non-work (casual and/or date night) outfits. I’m terrible at putting together outfits. Thanks!

    • Baconpancakes

      I just use Pinterest and follow blogs (Capitol Hill Style, Cup of Jo, Cupcakes and Cashmere, Extra Petite, Franish, Jillgg’s Good Life, Reading My Tea Leaves, Style Bee, This Adored Life), and pin the outfits I like, focusing on things I can adapt to clothes I already own. Then when I’m feeling uninspired, I will pick out an outfit from my Pinterest boards while lying in bed on my phone, and shamelessly copy it exactly when I get dressed.

      • Mary Ann Singleton

        Your method of picking an outfit sounds like a modern version of Cher’s system in Clueless. Awesome.

      • anon

        I do this–I definitely troll Pinterest for inspiration. If I want to wear a particular piece (green pants), I’ll do a search and go from there. I also do try to pin things that are similar to my own items.

      • Senior Attorney

        I do that, too. Half of what I wear is copied from Pinterest.

        Also, You Look Fab dot com has a different “ensemble” post every Friday. Lots of good stuff every day, but Friday seems to be outfit day.

      • anonsg

        +1

        Sometimes I look at a piece of clothing I have and can’t figure out what to do with it, so, like baconpancakes, I look it up on pinterest. Like I got this mustard colored cardigan and I don’t know how to wear mustard, so I just looked up “yellow cardigan outfits” on pinterest and tried to see what I could do with clothes I have and what people were wearing on pinterest.

    • TO Lawyer

      This isn’t a blog suggestion but do you have stylish friends? My friends often ask me to come shopping with them or play closet. It helps mix things up and give you a fresh perspective on your wardrobe.

    • Seattle Freeze

      Putting Me Together is nice for cute casual outfits.

      And this won’t help for casual outfits, but I’ve just started reading thedirectrice.com – I think a lot of readers here might enjoy.

  4. Ageism

    I’d like to hear your opinions ladies on pervasive ageism. My boss is my boss because she’s old. I have more publications, more successful projects, both more education and a higher quality of education. I am NOT in an industry where nondescript experience matters or there is some sort of ‘level’ system. It’s just plain old ageism.

    • Anonymous

      Is that ageism? I feel like that is the opposite of ageism? You don’t mention experience- who has more? Did you both go up for the same job and she won out? Or are you coming into a system where she was already the boss?

    • Maddie Ross

      Do you mean you were hired to the same new company at the same time and she got the authority role simply because she’s older? Because if not, it could just be that she has more experience, not just that she’s “old.”

      • TBK

        +1 Also, if you feel that you’re outperforming her but the employer doesn’t value your contributions, and instead just values age, maybe you should find a new employer.

      • Mpls

        +1. Also, are publications, projects and education what is needed to be successful in your industry? Is there something about what you consider “non-descript” experience that is important to your employer? Did she beat you out for the job, or did she get to the job before you were qualified?

        Also, more and better (according to you) education may be great, but that often isn’t as important as actual work accomplished, so I wouldn’t harp on that too much.

        • Ageism

          I guess you could think of it like marketing where if your campaigns are being used you are the one bringing in money. So projects are super important in establishing your worth. Same with publications if you publish you bring the company press. When I asked CEO why she was boss his answer was literally because she’s older.

          • Mpls

            And did the CEO literally mean that a person with less calendar years (even with more experience) would not be effective in the position? Or did the CEO say “older” and mean “more experience”? Even without established levels/experience ratings, there is still a tendency to hierarchy.

            If your work is as good as you think it is, and your current employer is not meeting your career needs, this would be a sign to look for another position that suits where you think you should be. If you can’t get anyone to bite, then maybe your read of the market needs to be re-adjusted.

          • Senior Attorney

            I was like you once, Ageism. Didn’t think experience mattered at all as long as you were doing The Exact Same Work. Don’t really think that any more. Turns out there’s something to be said for experience and I suspect that’s what the CEO meant by “she’s older.”

            Also, you keep using that word but I do not think it means what you think it means.

          • SH

            +1 to Senior Attorney. It wasn’t before I became a boss that I realized being a boss is very little about What I Did Before. Setting a dept. strategy that fits with other departments and the greater corporate goals doesn’t have anything to do with what I published before. In my company we have people who do the publishing and people who do the managing; sometimes they are the same people, but not often. People who do the publishing a lot of times aren’t great at doing the managing.

            I also think your boss may be using “older” to mean “wiser/more mature.” Also, my boss complains about my colleagues (other bosses) all the time – it doesn’t mean he thinks that I should do their job. Maybe what he was complaining about isn’t a key function of her job so he kinda doesn’t care very much about it and was just venting, and she’s actually very good at her key functions?

    • Ellen

      Yay! Coffee Break! I love Coffee break, but these flat’s are to flat for me. I need 4″ heels in order to be taken serious in court and around town. Men do NOT look at me in flat’s, but when they can see my leg’s in 4″ heel’s, I get alot of look’s from men, and that is what I want. Myrna agrees that flat’s make us all look a littel heavier and dumpier then we do in 4″ heel’s, and even tho our tuchuses are 4″ higher, and therefore more noticeable to men’s eyes then they are wearing flat’s, she think’s it is worth the trade off b/c men like to see leg’s b/c it get’s their head’s thinkeing more about sexueal thing’s then just flat’s.

      As for the OP, most people in jobs as managers are older–that is how they got to be manageing in the first place. Dont worry, you will also get older and become a manager once that one retire’s. You may be smarter, but guess what– so am I, but I still defer to the manageing partner on thing’s. I just completed doeing some research on res ipsa loquitor and used my law school notes. The manageing partner was SOOOOO impressed that I knew what I was talkeing about. We just filed the breif with the court and the case will be heard on Thursday.

      The manageing partner checked the weather and it is to be warm so he told me I should wear my RED suit with my white silk blouse and RED pump’s to court. That usueally is an outfit I win my motion’s with. The judge alway’s asks me to turn at a 45 degree angle so that I can address him and opposeing council at the same time. Myrna think’s he just wants to see my boobie’s and the manageing partner says I should take my suit jacket off when I get to court so that I do not prespire. YAY!!!!!

    • HSAL

      There are lots of other factors that come into play as well. Maybe she had proven managerial experience. Maybe there are things about you that causes your employer to think you wouldn’t be a good fit as boss. In my experience, it’s rare to see ageism favoring older people, so I think you’re missing some relevant issues (even taking your CEO’s comments into account – I imagine he wasn’t expecting that question). But if you think you’re undervalued, start looking elsewhere.

      • Ageism

        CEO was complaining about boss’s poor work product so I asked why she was boss, a completely appropriate question

        • tesyaa

          If the CEO admits that he made the dumb decision to give the boss role to someone less qualified, and isn’t doing anything to rectify the situation, it’s time for you to move on!

        • HSAL

          I would disagree that it’s an appropriate question. More importantly though, I think some of the other comments have shown that it’s not all about work product, which you seem to be focused on.

    • xkcdlover

      Sounds like you’re involved in R&D, as am I. Your boss may have been promoted because she’s good at managing, not as a reward for her stellar research.

      Far too many capable researchers are ‘promoted’ to management even though they are woefully unprepared for that (very different) task. Managing people is often about dealing with interpersonal conflicts, making resource allocation decisions in at least a semi-fair way (and then dealing with the blow-back) and helping people get better at their job. Being a good PI is about having innovative ideas, the technical skills and gumption to follow up on them and the knowledge of how to promote your work.

    • SoCalAtty

      I think it is very frustrating. I’m encountering this now with an attorney in my group that is a lawyer as her second career – so we’re evenly matched in terms of experience, and I may actually have a couple more years than she does in this specific industry, since I’m in-house in an industry my entire family participates in, and I was involved from a pretty young age. She was even hired after me – but because she is 20 years older, she got the “senior” title.

      Unfortunately I think it is more pervasive than we’d like to believe – the person with better work + more experience gets the bump, right? Well, in some cases a company, or a CEO, or a supervisor, just can’t see past age. No idea how to get past it – in my case I’ve given up trying, and can’t jump ship for a lot of reasons.

      • Anonymous

        I have the opposite experience. I’m an attorney who started late, and I constantly hide my age because it makes the younger people I work next to and for uncomfortable. I have also been told it will be a negative mark on my chance at partner.

  5. c

    Not feeling these!

    also cranky because I live in a place where there is literally no shopping. Even Banana Republic is leaving.

  6. Padi is Movin' on up.

    Help! I need a personal finance gut check.

    I just bought a condo in the downtown/ urban area of the city were I live and work. Because the market is super competitive, I paid just under what my house 5 miles away will sell for. My condo is $400k; my house should sell for $410k (with a significant profit). So I am not so much downsizing as I am cashing in the appreciation and moving from the suburbs to the urban core.

    My monthly housing and commuting costs will go down 25%-35% depending on how I manage the proceeds of my house when it sells. This is considering taxes, insurance, utiliities, gas for my car, and remodeling/maintenance costs.

    Was this a good financial move? Or am I just treading water? I am so stressed with the paperwork and closing and moving that I can’t think straight anymore.

    Sanity check please!

    • Em

      Sounds good to me – you will presumably have a mortgage the same size but will no longer be paying as much for transportation and can redirect that money to something productive. (I guess if you are just planning to redirect it to buying more shoes or something you will just be treading water, but nothing wrong with that if you’re happy with where you are.)

      • Padi is Movin' on up.

        Thanks! Yes, I was worried that the house was costing too much that I wasn’t hitting my other financial goals. I also went through a not-great job search that turned out well but I realized the house was limiting my options in terms of commute and salary requirements.

    • la vie en bleu

      by “good financial move” do you mean is it a net-plus on finances? Does it really have to be that? You made this move for so many reasons that are good for you in other ways, it is more convenient, less time in a stressful commute, etc. So that is all great for you, even if financially it breaks even. And you have a good salary and a good career, so you seem to be in a really great place regardless, right?

      I think this is just a great move for you and you are adding to stressful things to think about. finish moving and take a break, and then I think this won’t be as much of a worry. Enjoy your new place!!!

      • Padi is Movin' on up.

        Thanks! Yes, I am in a pretty good place (I am not 100% positive about the long term future of my career right now). But lower expenses should alleviate those worries!

        You know me…I was really stressing! And I don’t think my family wants to rehash this for the millionth time.

    • Former Partner, Now In-House

      Whether something is a “good financial move” is a little subjective. There’s making money (you got more from your house than you paid for it). There’s investment opportunities (where else would you park the house proceeds if you didn’t buy the condo?). There’s monthly cash flow (now you have lower commuting costs — but also the responsibility to use that money wisely). And then there’s the ultimate question that, frankly, didn’t mean that much to me until I hit my early 40s: freedom (if you want to quit your job/take another job/downshift/retire/whatever, does your house limit or enlarge your options?). Without knowing more than you wrote above, it sounds as if all of these are positive (unless you know somewhere else to invest the proceeds that will do better than real estate, in which case please share!).

      What happened to the K in K-padi? Did I miss something?

      • Padi is Movin' on up.

        Yeah, I am re-inventing myself! I am still k-padi but my last year was so eventful that I feel like someone else.

        Thanks! The freedom thing is pretty big for me right now. I think the condo gives me more options in life. I can walk to work or to public transportation now. And my mortgage balance should be smaller, meaning more options to refi or sell later on. I think I am foregoing some appreciation later on because condos don’t appreciate quite like houses do.

        Freedom!!!!!

        • Padi is Movin' on up.

          I think I am anxious because this happened so fast. Two months ago, moving was an abstract idea. 30 days ago, I called up my mortgage guy to explore my options, fast forward to writing an offer a week later with an agent I had met just days before and a super fast close (less than three weeks). I should have keys in the next 48 hours. This has been a roller coaster!

          • AMB

            I did something similar last year (sold the condo farther out, now renting downtown) and I LOVE it. I can walk to work, am way closer to many events – it was a really positive life change.

          • Former Partner, Now In-House

            I sometimes think “If it’s a good idea today, it will be a good idea tomorrow.” On the other hand, some of my best moves (quitting my job in not-law and moving across the country for law school, leaving my first husband) were made without that approach. So, who knows.

            Re: “Freeeeeeedooooom” – that scene from Braveheart helps a lot in situations like this (if you can put aside the fact that we now know the actor is an anti-Semitic misogynist).

  7. houston, we have a problem

    If I wanted to order a few new pairs of heels for work (basic looking, nothing too trendy or fancy) between $30-$50/pair… where would you order from?

    • HSAL

      6pm would probably have some decent quality in that price range. It’s where I go when I just want to buy some shoes.

      • anon

        true–and I have been trying to evaluate if the higher price that Z@ppos charges compensates for return shipping price from 6pm. Does anyone know?

      • anonymess

        I have ordered from 6pm many times over the last few years, and I tend to stick to brands that I know work for my feet to avoid having returns. I’m also not above trying on a pair of shoes in a store like Nordstrom or Macy’s to see if they are comfortable… and then ordering from 6pm if there is a significant price difference. Or if it’s a 70% off deal that puts a shoe at about $30-40, sometimes I take a chance and just order it. I have to wear real leather (and preferably all leather lined) shoes and it’s the only way I can afford good stuff. It’s also the only way I was able to transition from grad school back into the working world with a quality but not budget-busting wardrobe.

        I tried the Payless Karmen pumps but they just didn’t quite work with my feet (kept slipping in the heels) and I ruined the heel on the third wear.

    • la vie en bleu

      im a DSW addict.. if you’re a member you get more rewards the more you buy, and I can return in store for free.

    • ace

      Karmen pumps from Payless run around $15-20, depending on style/discounts available. They’re super cute & comfortable.

    • AttiredAttorney

      Payless (the Karmen pump is a cult classic for a reason), DSW, Nine West sale section, Sole Society.

  8. NYNY

    DH and I will be joining my side of the family for a celebration in Kauai this summer, and we want to tack on a few days on the big island to see the volcanoes and be alone together. I’ve been to Oahu and Kauai in the past, but know very little about Hawaii. Any recs?

    – Does it make more sense to fly in and out of Kona instead of Hilo, as it’s closer to the volcano park?
    – Recs for places to stay, eat? (we eat everything, hoping for a nice clean place to stay in th2 $150-250/night range)
    – How many days to see the volcanoes?
    – Other fun things to do?

    • MJ

      Check out sunset magazine. It’s best to search on the Goog and not their website (their search functionality is terrible), but they have great insider recs and do one Hawaii issue every year or so.

    • Anonymous

      Yes, fly into and out of Kona. It’s much better than Hilo. Although I think Hilo is actually closer to Volcanoes. You can see Volcanoes pretty well in a day. Of course you can spend more time there, but unless you’re serious hikers and want to do a 20 mile hike into a volcanic crater I don’t think you need more than a day. I have not done it but I’ve heard helicopter tours to see the red hot flowing lava are really cool.
      Waipio Valley and Pololu Lookout are nice brief scenic stops (nearer to Hilo, but you should definitely drive the loop around the island).
      Kahaluu Beach Park (near Kona) has fantastic snorkeling.
      You Make The Roll in Kona town is very good and very cheap sushi.

    • SoCalAtty

      We really enjoyed the helicopter tour for the volcano. If you have a Costco membership, they had $100 gift certificates for $80, which helped with the cost a bit.

      We also REALLY like the beach at the Mauna Kea hotel – it is open to the public, and has a great little restaurant / bar right there.

      If you have time, try to rent a 4WD vehicle and drive up to the top of Mauna Kea – it is around 13,000 ft and you can go up and check out the telescopes. Very cool. If you stay past dark, the stars are AMAZING! Down the mountain a bit, and accessible by non-4WD vehicles, is the visitor center. If you stay there late, there are nice telescopes for you to play with and look at the stars.

  9. MegB

    Hi all, I’m looking for a couple pairs of crisp cotton slim ankle/cropped pants to wear this summer in my business casual office. I used to love the café capri but J Crew doesn’t make those any more. Looks like Banana isn’t doing the Hampton crop anymore either? Suggestions would be great. I’m 5’8″ and a slightly pear shaped size 10 if that makes a difference.
    Thanks!

    • Mpls

      What does Lands End have? You may need to size down to get a comparable fit to JCrew or BR, but I feel something like that would be right in their wheel house.

    • ITDS

      Talbots. Lots of options and their crops and ankle pants come in tall versions. Lots of colors.

    • Amy H.

      Gap Tailored Crop Pants. They come in 7 colors and three lengths. I’m also 5’8″ and a pear around size 10 and their 10s were perfect if you (like me) want some ease; or 8 could work too if you prefer a more fitted cut.

  10. Anne

    I am contemplating taking a month to travel by rail through Western/Southern Europe. (Another alternative would be to drive up along the coast of Norway, but really a month in Southern Europe would be a lot cheaper.)

    I have made a tentative itinerary if I decide to really do it, but it is really changing all the time, so I thought it would be a fun thing to ask for recommendations on:

    Recommended spots that you’ve been and enjoyed.

    If you had a month to travel in Europe, where would you go?

    • MJ

      What time of year? Also, rail is not necessarily cheaper given budget flights in Europe, so I would consider that too.

      Part of Europe I love:

      All of Spain (especially Costa Dorada, Toledo, Galicia)
      All of France (Paris, Paris, Paris and anywhere there are chateaus or sunflower/lavender fields!)
      All of Italy esp Florence and Lake Como
      Southern Germany (esp. Bodensee)
      Geneva (for a quick visit–it’s not that exciting of a town) plus Gimmelwald
      Amsterdam
      Copenhagen
      Budapest
      Krakow
      Prague
      Vienna

      You can’t really go wrong if it’s in summer and there’s cafe culture!

      • Anne

        Basically, due to holiday plans of colleagues, who will all be taking in July/early August I am thinking late August / beginning of September.

        It would be with a rail pass of some kind. (unlimited travel for x days).

      • Emily

        Adding Croatia (including Hvar, Plitvice, Dubrovnik, and if you like olive oil and malvasia wine, Istria)

    • la vie en bleu

      I would try to coordinate the trip with one of the once-a-year festivals. i.e., Avignon has an arts festival in July, or the Montreaux Jazz Festival on Lake Geneva. They are big and crazy and take a lot of planning to attend, but I would want to go to one once in my life. So, I would do the crazy planning to spend a few days at the Avignon festival, for example, and then plan the rest of the month’s itinerary around that to see other parts of France/Germany/Italy, etc.

      Another reason I would do this is that there are just way too many options! I would want to see all of it, so picking one festival to organize around would narrow it down. ;o) And please report back when you decide, and when you get back from the trip!

    • cncm

      I spent 2 months backpacking around Europe on an Eurail pass in college. Loved it – one of the best experiences ever. Highly recommend getting an unlimited rail pass – this way, you don’t have to plan everything out ahead of time and can just go with the flow. I ended up not liking Southern Europe as much (esp Italy/Spain…gasp, I know…long story) and loving Northern Europe. Really appreciated the flexibility the unlimited pass gave me. I left Italy early and spent more time in Germany/Austria/Sweden/Norway/etc. Going by rail also let me see a lot of the small towns I otherwise would’ve bypassed. Good luck and have fun!

      P.S: editing to add that this is only worth it if you’re planning on hitting up a lot of places. if you want to spend 4-5 days per city, then definitely just buy each segment separately. i think i did 50 cities/towns in 2 months to make full use of the pass, although you don’t have to go as crazy as i did!

  11. Anon

    Any tips on how to say to your boss that while you are super-excited about all the neat opportunities coming your way that you can’t take anything else on right now because you are at mental and physical capacity? There is a lot of literature out there on saying “no” to outside work commitments, but how do you make saying “not right now” a non-career limiting move?

    • Mpls

      Share the excitement and ask boss about Boss’ thoughts on how to prioritize and focus given the current work load? Help Boss figure out how to delegate those opportunities to those that have the capacity (that way you still look like you had a hand in help?) The fact is, if these are time sensitive things that need to be done now, saying “not right now” is effectively saying no.

      Also, is the Boss actually planning to add to your plate, or does Boss like to think out load and the new things don’t really materialize?

    • Rogue Banker

      Spin it as “I’m really really excited about Awesome Opportunity A, but I want to make sure that I’m able to devote enough attention and energy to Prior Commitments B, C, and D to produce the highest quality results. Do you have any suggestions on how I should prioritize?” If any of those prior projects have end dates, mention them and say that as soon as those commitments are met, you’ll be more than happy to take on whatever cool things come your way.

  12. ezt

    Thoughts on a dark-colored (dark teal) top under a black suit for an interview (conservative, law)? Am I safer sticking to light/pastel colors?

    • Anon

      You are overthinking. Unless the dark teal top is a dark teal bikini top, bandeau top, band tshirt, etc – you’re good :)

      – Signed, your interviewer

      • Baconpancakes

        But Refinery29 told me bandeau tops were a look that could go from Coachella to my everyday life! Am I being lied to?

        • Anon

          True story – my husband came home last week and told me that the faculty candidate that was giving a job talk was wearing a midriff-revealing top with her suit. Which is the same thing she wore the first time he met her (at a different, equally formal, faculty-type event).

          Someone, somewhere, is telling women that this is an acceptable look for the workplace.

          • Alana

            The “someone” is probably either a fashion writer, whose work-appropriate wear is quite broad, or indirect messages from clothing stores for young people. The stores often have suits and the like, but they’re usually too informal or revealing for a conservative work environment.

      • ezt

        Haha, thank you. I will rock the teal. It’s cool that it’s completely sheer, right?

    • Rogue Banker

      Teal looks great against black, although it’s kinda my signature color so I may be biased. :P Good luck on the interview!!

  13. anonsg

    What kind of snacks does your office have in the kitchen? Do you wish your office had different snacks – if so, what snacks did you wish was in your office kitchen? What kind of snacks do you bring yourself to work?

    We have a lot of junk food (and sugary beverages) in our office, and I wish we had more healthy snacks. It would be nice to have fresh fruit (though admittedly that would have to be constantly restocked…)

    • ace

      Kind bars and a weekly fruit delivery. As you predicted, they tend to get snapped up right away but it’s a nice thought.

    • MJ

      Best snacks ever were at a tech firm I worked at. They had all the sweets, all the savories, string cheese, fresh hand fruit, cereal, good coffee. Every few months the receptionists would send out a survey and then some new snacks would be rotated in. They had the snacking situation nailed.

    • Senior Attorney

      My former firm had an old-fashioned popcorn machine in the break room — the kind where you open the glass doors and scoop out the popcorn. Wasn’t all that healthy or sanitary, but it was fun. Many’s the night I ate popcorn for dinner…

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