Coffee Break: Naretta Pump

47 Comments

1. I’m trying to find the perfect ankle length travel pants for a trip to Europe this summer. I’ll be largely outside big cities and chasing babies so I’m prioritizing comfort over chicness, but I’d prefer something a bit more substantial than leggings but not frumpy. I’m thinking joggers might fit the bill. Any favorites? Any new good travel friendly brands that I should be looking at in general?

   1. I just got 2 pairs of similar pants from nordstroms and really like both (trouve print pull on pants and chelsea 28 soft print pants)

   2. Lands End has lots of stretchy pants, and a whole travel line.

   3. Athleta has great casual clothing. Something like this maybe http://athleta.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=1017662&vid=1&pid=438906042

   4. I love skinny chinos for this purpose too. So comfy.
      http://www.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=1011765&vid=1&pid=352657062
      (wait for a sale)

   5. Calvin Klein Skinny Crop, in many pretty colors, $20 at Costco.

   6. Uniqlo has a big range of what it calls ‘leggings pants’ in different lengths, fabric weights, colours, print or plain.

2. So, rawring in frustration turns out to be quite ineffective. What coping mechanisms have you developed for chronic stress? I need ideas.

   1. Sleep. Seriously. The past four years have been very hard for me and I found that getting enough rest really helps

      1. Get a scrip for a sleeping medication. There are some out there with minor side effects. I was supposedly only on Trazodone for a stressful situation but it’s over and now I like being able to fall asleep.

         1. +1 for Trazodone. I stopped taking it before I got pregnant and miss it dearly.

   2. Exercise. I found that going to a class that involved lots of punching the air (perhaps needless to say, I substituted in my mind the face of a partner) helped during one particularly difficult period.

      1. I resisted Yoga for a long time because my ornery, midwestern soul thought it was for hippies, but it’s incredibly relaxing. It’s hard not to feel good after an hour of stretching.

         1. Yoga. The stretching and strengthening and focus always leave me feeling better after a class.

   3. Denial. Lots of distracting myself with Netflix binges. Chocolate and alcohol. I don’t recommend my system. :-\

      1. Netflix binges are how I cope too.

   4. Walks. I frequently take walk/coffee breaks during the day just to step away from whatever is stressing me out.

   5. Hypnosis and meditation. For the latter, pay for classes. Even though you are basically paying to sit in a quiet room doing the same thing you can do at home, I never find the time to do it at home.

      1. Meditation and breathing. I scoffed at this for a long time, then went through a period of acute anxiety. I saw a behavioral therapist who gave me a number of breathing exercises. It’s amazing how helpful they are. It’s more for dealing with those moments when you are really overwhelmed and kind of freaking out, but it’s also very helpful (for me) to incorporate daily meditation.

   6. Sleep, exercise, massages (I find my stress tends to build up in my back/shoulders), wine, netflix, cuddles (human or dog)

   7. Massages, even chair massages. Pedicures. Guided mediation. Long bicycle rides.

   8. Meditation (10 min/day), running (30 min/day), yoga (15-30 min ev 3 day), sex (whenever possible and I’m not exhausted), and, of course, orgasms.

      Sleep helps a lot, but I can’t fall asleep unless I’m destressed. I have to run in the mornings, and can meditate whenever. I know that any sort of exercise can help. Walking, running, dancing, biking, etc. And, if you can afford it, a therapist to talk to.

      I also treat myself. Occasionally, I’ll do an at home spa day. Or, I’ll get my hair done. Hair stylists are so relaxing for me. And wine. I like wine.

   9. demolishing small cities?

      honestly, I have to make to the gym 3-5 times a week.
      Also, training/working towards fitness goals (running half marathon, century ride, etc.) helps a lot.
      pushing myself to see friends and visit in person (go out for coffee, drink, lunch) also really helps, but it’s hard to do when you feel like time is an issue (too much on your plate)

      I may have eaten my entire stash of emergency chocolate today.

      I sometimes call in sick when I am not actually physically too ill to come in, but need some space. Realistically, this is like a day or 1/2 day a year.

   10. I’ve been struggling with this as well. Frustrated, not sleeping, probably clenching my teeth in my sleep.

       My stress reducers are:
       a) the gym – both cardio and weights. This saves me. I listen to crappy pop music and watch mindless tv shows on the elliptical or read mystery novels.
       b) the occasional evening where I have alcohol and chips for dinner.
       c) get out with a friend and resolve not to talk about that issue. Anything else. Listen to your friend’s problems but do not bring up the problem that’s stressing you.

   11. I’m a little late on this, but I have a few that help me when I turn into a crazy little stress monster:

       1. Making lists. It’ll depend on what your stress is, but sometimes I get myself into a tizzy going “ack – I need to do laundry! ack – I have a million things going on at work! ack – I need to…” blah blah blah. Putting it into a list takes stuff down from over my head and can make it seem a lot more reasonable. Journaling, even just scrawling out “I’m stressed about ___/I’m worried that ___” on a piece of scrap paper to vent, can help a lot too.

       2. For me, drinking. Not in a reliance way, maybe your thing is tea or macarons or bubble baths, but having a ritual that feels really indulgent and calming to look forward to and savor can really help. It also takes me out of work mode, because for me even sipping one drink = relaxing and not having to worry about responsibilities.

       3. Putting things into perspective. Again, depends on your stressor, but it really helps me get out of my own head if I go “I could literally [quit my job/drop out of grad school/break up with my boyfriend] right now and change my life drastically. People do that and they live.” It makes me feel a little more in control, and reminds me why I’m doing things in the first place.

       1. I love lists… crossing things off that list is my #1 stress reliever

   12. LEXAPRO! And yoga.

       1. Yup.

       2. It’s Prozac for me, but yeah.

   13. I punch a pillow.

   14. Exercise (outside if at all possible, helps my mood more than inside the gym) and wine.

3. These are so nice! I love the color and heel height. This is the perfect pair for summertime.

4. I didn’t have a chance to post earlier, but I see that you got a lot of support and good advice. I just wanted to chime and say I’ve been there, too. When I was 28, I lost my job (not my career path at the time, but unexpected) and lost my boyfriend (cheating asswad) within about 4 weeks of each other and I just shut down. The depression and anxiety stopped me from almost everything – eating, going outside, sleeping. It was bad.

   Several things saved me:
   – Therapy twice a week, because once was not enough
   – A rescue dog found his way into my life at just the right time
   – Dear friends made the effort to be with me, talk to me, and just be available

   I learned that what I was struggling with was the gap between my long-held, mostly subconscious ideas of what my life “should be,” and what it really was. I was supposed to be coupled by then. I was supposed to be self-sufficient. I was supposed to be further along in my career. It took a lot of work to change my thinking, but it was the best thing I have ever done for myself.

   Hugs. You can get through this.

   (Edited to add that this is NYNY.)

5. Today’s discussion about being single resonated with me. I’m mid thirties, single and also going through a really difficult time career wise. My last relationship was pretty draining and ending it felt like a relief even though it was also incredibly sad because we had been together for a long time. In healing and moving forward somehow I also feel like I have changed somewhat. I’ve drawn a lot of strength from family and friends and I’m enjoying being on my own and I don’t feel like I even want to be in a relationship any time soon. But at the back of my mind I think I’m not getting any younger –especially in terms of having kids if I decide to. Not sure if I’m looking for commiseration but it’s kinda been bugging me. Like I should start dating again soon but at the same time I have no interest.

   1. I’m there with you. Broke up with a guy about 3-4 years ago and have had a few dates here and there, but…meh. Shrug. I’m a little ambivalent on the kid front – they’d be great with the right guy, but I’m not super motivated to find someone JUST so I can have kids. I like my life right now (job is okay, I’ve got a good group of friends, I babysit other people’s kids so i get to the fun “aunt”), and it would have to be someone who is a really great fit for me to disrupt it. And I actually think that’s a really good standard (I may be biased :) ).

      1. I think that’s an excellent standard.

      2. Actually this part is exactly what I have been thinking “it would have to be someone who is a really great fit for me to disrupt it.”

         1. Then…I’d follow Carolyn Hax’s advice and do stuff that you like. If you can do it as part of a group, it will help you meet people, but it’s just meeting people and not dating. Unless you (and the other person) want it to be dating. But if you don’t want to date just to date, then don’t. Just put yourself in a position to meet people. ETA – if you are doing stuff you already like when you meet the new people, you already know you have something in common.

            …off to follow own advice…

   2. We all really need to stop “should”-ing on ourselves.

      When you feel like dating you will. Or when you meet someone who is vaguely interesting maybe you will. Maybe you’ll enjoy being the free spirited aunty for your friends/families’ kiddos and go home to a quiet, peaceful existence.

      1. This.

   3. Yes, I agree with all of the OP’s. As a very pretty singel girl in my mid-30’s, I too am VERY frustrated b/c I went all the way through law school, then took the bar, then became admiied as an attorney at law, and have now been in good standing for alot of year’s!

      So how is it that I am still singel? The onley reason dad says is b/c of my TUCHUS. I do NOT buy that. Gonzalo LOVED my tuchus, and would have done alot with it, had I let him (which I did NOT). Other men do NOT mention my tuchus, but can NOT wait to get me to take off my pantie’s, which I do NOT do with just any man. Grandma Leyeh says I am doing right, but Grandma Trudy would have me become very sexueally active with men until I found one that would MARRY me. I think that this is the wrong approach, but I am NOT sure what the RIGHT approach is with men.

      I think the real probelem is NOT with us, as professional women, but with men, who are like kid’s in the candy store. There are SO many beautiful women out there in NYC that there is NO reason for them to settel down with any of us, b/c EVERY year, there is a new crop of fresh women literaly so anxious to please that they will do ANYTHING these men want sexueally. So what is left for me, now that I am no longer young? I do NOT want to do what those women do just to get a guy to pay attention to me. I have read about alot of bad thing’s that men do and do NOT want to become a mere recepticle for their weenie’s. Grandma Trudy says she would do it these days, but she did NOT have to b/c her husband married her site unseen in the 1940’s when he came over from Europe.

      Dad on the other hand went to the Iron Curtain where all he did was have sex with women, and he may have had issue with them so I have a bunch of half brothers and sister’s I do NOT even know about. There was no AIDS back then and he was tested for STD’s b/f mom would marry him, tho she probably did some stuff before that with him.

      So you see it is the sexueal revolution that has caused us all these probelems, with men being able to hop from girl to girl, and then walking away afther they have seen and done us with no clootheing on. FOOEY on men and this sexueal revolution. FOOEY! I say we boycott men by keeping our bodie’s to ourself until we are MARRIED! That will teach these looser’s to put their winkies away and woo us. YAY!!!!

   4. Hi–MJ has been my handle here on C-r_tt_ since ~2007, so I’d appreciate if you pick another. Thank you!

      –MJ

      1. Lololololol

6. arggggh stop me from buying this pumps!!! I love them, I *don’t* need them.

   1. I’m on a heels-buying-ban. I might break it if I find the perfect nude, stacked heel, strappy but supportive summer sandal heel (for going dancing), but the flats I’m looking at are just so much more BORING.

      1. I know we are trying to help each other NOT do this, but I bought a pair of Sofft leather heeled sandals that fit your requirements perfectly. I liked them so much I bought them in two colors! This was a few years ago, but I’m sure they have similar. The style was called Castello.

7. Paging Struggling – please email me Wildkitten r 3 t t 3 (3’s are e’s) at g mail dot com. You haven’t emailed me yet and I want to know how you’re doing. Or even if everything is sh*t – update me!

Comments are closed.