Holiday Weekend Open Thread
Something on your mind? Chat about it here.
If you (or a loved one) run cold, these cozy PJs from Barefoot Dreams look incredible — and there are a bunch of colors in the big Nordstrom Black Friday sale.
The PJs are $228 full price, but select colors are down to $148, including this pretty “blue cove.”
Looking at the mostly positive reviews, people note that they're their “favorite pajamas and work from home outfit,” and some people call them perfect for travel. Lots of people mention how soft and cozy the pajamas are, as well as the importance of air drying them.
Other great deals in the Nordstrom sale include great deals on Natori, Vince, Theory, Boss, Cole Haan, Tory Burch, Rothy's, and Weitzman, as well as gift ideas like Barefoot Dreams and Parachute — Dyson isn't marked down at all but you do get 3x points on beauty purchases… See more of our favorite Black Friday deals below!
Sales of note for 12.5
- Nordstrom – Cyber Monday Deals Extended, up to 60% off thousands of new markdowns — great deals on Natori, Vince, Theory, Boss, Cole Haan, Tory Burch, Rothy's, and Weitzman, as well as gift ideas like Barefoot Dreams and Parachute — Dyson is new to sale, 16-23% off, and 3x points on beauty purchases.
- Ann Taylor – up to 50% off everything
- Banana Republic Factory – up to 50% off everything + extra 25% off
- Design Within Reach – 25% off sitewide (including reader-favorite office chairs Herman Miller Aeron and Sayl!) (sale extended)
- Eloquii – up to 60% off select styles
- J.Crew – 1200 styles from $20
- J.Crew Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off $100+
- Macy's – Extra 30% off the best brands and 15% off beauty
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off, plus free shipping on everything (and 20% off your first order)
- Steelcase – 25% off sitewide, including reader-favorite office chairs Leap and Gesture (sale extended)
- Talbots – 40% off your entire purchase and free shipping $125+
I just got a job offer to go in house with a client!! I’m not sure if I want to accept it – mostly need to reflect on the salary decrease, and I’m not sure if the workload would be any less, but I’m really excited at the possibility. One potential issue: last year, fresh off my divorce, I had a short fling with a guy. He was nice, cute, I just wasn’t ready and I don’t think he wanted anything serious either. Turns out he is a Director at this company. I didn’t know then, I just found out while looking at LinkedIn… he wasn’t involved in my hiring, his dept. would rarely be involved with my speciality. I am now a little embarrassed. I am still single but not “looking.” I doubt he told anyone or would tell anyone. But I don’t want it to be weird. We would be in the same office. Any advice? I think I’m overthinking but I’ve never had any romantic/ex tie to a client ever, and am freaking out a bit!
Congratulations on the offer! I took a position in house about 2 years ago and love it on this side.
As for the guy, I would just treat him in a friendly and professional way but mostly pretend like nothing happened. Definitely do not be embarrassed or let it affect your decision about the job. You haven’t done anything wrong!
There’s nothing embarrassing about two adults having dated each other. You won’t be working together so I think it’s fine.
It would be insanely unprofessional for him to say to your mutual colleagues that he’s gardened with you. Presumably, you’re both actual adults and can just say hi to each other in the hallways, right?
This isn’t a reason to turn down a good job offer, IMHO. Stalker ex, yes; random nice guy fling, no.
Boy, if it was a manager, even a senior manager, I wouldn’t think twice. But it depends how “directory” your director is. If he’s, like, a sales director for Canada and you are a privacy lawyer, I wouldn’t worry about it much at all. If he’s the CFO, I’d worry about it whatever your function! I might still take the job in any situation but I would want to think more carefully about my ethical obligations to disclose and establish boundaries the more power he has.
ETA: I’m an in house lawyer currently.
This is an over the top take in my opinion. I think it’s a non issue. Take the job if you want it. You have no ethical obligations to disclose a fling that happened before you were even employed there.
I mean, my role includes managing internal and external investigations that relate to the functions I support (along with an unfortunately large number of other things right now…thanks, layoffs). At least in my role, having it come out in the middle of a contentious investigation or governmental inquiry that I had an undisclosed prior personal relationship with a relevant C-suite executive would undermine my authority and career and would make it difficult for the people I report to (mostly, the GC and Board) to trust me.
Practically speaking, I would probably take the job, disclose the general fact that I had had a prior relationship with the executive to my direct boss with no further details, note that I do not believe it is an issue, and decline to be involved in any investigations directly involving that executive to avoid any appearance of impropriety. And if OP is just, like, product counsel and does not anticipate having these sorts of investigatory responsibilities, I don’t think this is an issue for her.
You do you, but I would never recommend to OP that she disclose this prior “relationship” to her new boss.
I would not even worry about this. Take the job if you like the offer! Consider the salary and benefits and the type of work you’ll be doing and who you’ll be reporting to and whether you like them. Your very brief past history with this guy shouldn’t even make the list.
I’d worry about the pay cut with similar workload and hours more than I’d worry about this dude.
Echoing Cat. In house can be a lot more work for less money. Would they give you a title bump up two levels and managers with teams reporting to you? Beware the in house counsel traps.
Any thoughts on “Nice Girls (Still) Don’t Get the Corner Office”? I know it’s been mentioned here before.
I think a lot of people thought that some of the advice is outdated — it was a huge favorite here like 10 years ago though so you might want to give it a read — it’s always helpful to know what the playbook is for people 10-30 years older than you in the workforce.
The poster yesterday could use the don’t pinch the company pennies advice.
This book is cheesy, dated, and yet somehow one of my favorites. I have read a ton of business and career self-help types books and I found this one incredibly helpful, second only to How to Win Friends and Influence People, another oldie but goodie.
As noted, it is now quite outdated. I would only beg you to actually read the book and not people’s interpretations of the book. We had a problem at my firm when it first became popular with young attorneys who somehow came away with the impression they should (1) be rude to the staff to avoid being mistaken for “one of the girls”; (2) speak up in meetings with people way above their pay grade/clients despite knowing absolutely nothing worth saying; and/or (3) objecting to being assigned “menial” work like taking notes, making copies, getting coffee, etc. when that had always been the job of the junior person on the team (and had been done by a man before them). It got at least one person fired (the managing partner’s secretary and favorite paralegal both complained). I very much doubt that she had actually read it although she cited to it all the time.
Yes, being “nice” and a team player is actually crucial to success at work, I’ve always hated the title of the book, agree with reading it. The key takeaway is really just putting your head down and doing work won’t get you as far as you want to go, you need to make friends (called playing office politics) and leverage those relationships to move up. That advice stands.
This would be a nice set for the person in the morning post who was looking to up their loungewear game!
I was today years old when I learned that The Killers’ lead singer Brandon Flowers is Mormon.
Yes, he played at Harry Reid’s funeral. (Reid also was LDS). Flowers is interesting to me – he flirts with some pretty progressive positions, which I assume doesn’t bring him any censure because he’s a dude in a conservative religion.
What workout apps does everyone like for strength training? Trying to decide on a new one
Nike Training and Boostcamp. But in reality I keep coming back to StrongLifts even though it’s not the best program but the app is just so easy to use.
I am a die hard Sweat user. Been doing it for years. It’s as good as a professional trainer and on par with the very hard core military fitness programs I have done. I love how customizable and user friendly it is with still be progressive which most apps are very poor at.
Did they ever update the strength training stuff? I was doing Stephanie Sanzo’s program (the home version) and they just never updated it after she left
I really like Evlo!
Hailey Happens Fitness has a lot of programs geared towards 40+ women. I’ve done a few of the gym programs and find they are challenging and results driven. Not inexpensive but having a Black Friday sale now.
Peloton app
Ladder!
There’s a lot of different coach options depending on your preferences and equipment available. Then they have a week’s worth of programming with three recommended workouts.
The way the workouts are structured for progressive overload are really excellent.
Question for the Trump voters – just curious if any of his picks for cabinet members or Day 1 promises are giving you pause?
No. If I wanted a President who does things exactly like I would do, I would run. I didn’t. He’s not going to do things exactly like I would or nearly like I would, but enough will be delivered.
Thank you for providing this answer. I am not the OP but I am interested in learning more about your perspective. Could you tell us what Trump would need to deliver on such that it would be “enough” from your perspective? Maybe put another way, what are your top priorities/hopes for his administration?
I wish I had remembered to post this before the holiday, but any recommendations for somewhere to order birth announcements? Would love to take advantage of a black Friday sale. We’d really like a place that will stamp and mail the envelopes too.
With photos? Tiny prints, mpix, Snapfish, Shutterfly all do this.
I’ve loved Minted – they do addressing of envelopes, but no idea if they stamp and mail for you.
Can we get an anonymous family gossip thread going? Whatever little funny drama you hear this weekend…feel free to pass it along.
My uncle just went to prison for possession of kiddie p__ and they still haven’t told friends of the family who we’re seeing this weekend
We are getting together at my grandmother’s old house (which she left to my sister) and the younger generation of adults (my sister, my cousin, and I) are hoping that my uncle’s new girlfriend – who is two years younger than his son, covered in tattoos and constantly high – is sufficiently shocking to my parents that they will finally get tired of making passive aggressive comments about how “nice” it was of my grandmother to bypass her sons and other two grandchildren to leave the house to my sister (which to be clear, my cousin and I are both 100% fine with).
The girlfriend is a hoot and I like her – although she clearly has extremely questionable taste in men. I would way rather hang out with her than my uncle (or my parents if we are being honest). But my very prim, formal and polite mother is going to simultaneously lose her mind and be rigidly polite.
Love this!
I am invested in the whole family now. Guessing there was a specific reason your sister got the house, like maybe the most in need? Or the one who helped her?
Update: Dinner with without incident. My parents are horrified but much too polite to actually say anything, although mom said “oh how . . . interesting” several times. Girlfriend remains a hoot (she has had a life with a lot of twists and turns, but considering how unstable her childhood was I am in awe of her generally positive outlook). She also offered my cousin and I several varieties of edibles because “your family is kind of a lot but you are cool.” The good news was that the presence of a “stranger” meant that passive-aggressive comments to my sister were at a minimum. We may invite the girlfriend to every future holiday.
And to the person who asked – it is a long story re why the house was left to sister. Greatly simplifying, my sister was the only one who was local and would actually live there. Grandmother did not want the property sold and developed (which is what would have happened if my father/uncle had inherited). And while she never needed full-time care, my sister and BIL are the ones who made sure she could stay home until she died. If my cousin or I had objected she would have probably handled it differently but we are all close and were absolutely on-board with her plan. (And before I get sister of the year accolades, I love that house but 100% would never live where it is and while it was invaluable to my sister, it was not a life altering amount of money to me.)
I love this thread and hope it gets some action this weekend! I have nothing yet but can’t wait to report something benign.
I don’t think I will be seeing my sister and her husband this holiday, but her usual is to have one too many, then confide in all the women (including me) about the horrible things her husband does (mostly just annoying, IMO) and how she hates him and wants to divorce him. Inevitably she gets the response she wants, which is “that’s terrible! How could he do that? We support you!” And then she will be mad at everyone for saying mean things about her husband. Stays mad until we do it all again next year.
My MIL is getting progressively angrier with my BIL (her son’s) habit of going on “boys trips” out of cell phone range with a heavily pregnant wife and 18 month old at home. (He and his buddies go sit in a cabin and drink and shoot trees, as far as I can tell). She is a passive aggressive queen at the best of times, and I am hopeful she says all the things out loud that I think in my head about this guy.
My aunt and her stepdaughter are locked in a massive probate battle over my late uncle’s estate. It’s not a lot of money – basically half a house and a modest govt. pension – but it is basically WWIII.
Confronted sibling over their dragging their heels on parents estate dispersement because they don’t agree with their wishes. Nearly 2 years this has been going on and sibling states accountant still needs more information and now that another year has gone by more taxes need to be paid. I have asked (for the past 2 years) how I can help, what the name of accountant is, etc to a response of I’ll handle it. Mind you this is a small, small sum, not life changing to anyone but sibling is currently out of work and gripes about not having a job and worrying about paying mortgage. Sibling honestly believes everything should go to them because I don’t need it and others they feel we’re not part of parents lives. I told her it really doesn’t matter what she thinks, she has a legal obligation to fulfill and that I expect a check in Jan 2025. Ended with sibling saying you’ll get it when I send it. Ugh, not a great Thanksgiving conversation but I am so tired of the entitlement from them.
Honestly, at this point you may need to accept that the money is gone. You should call the lawyer handling the estate.
You are in the same battle my mom just fought, but she is your sister.
Sadly, nobody wins. I wish I had advice for you- I guess the most peaceful thing to do is walk away because if you sister is like my mom she will bleed the funds dry to be “right.”
She and my aunt burned down like 90k of a 150k estate just fighting.
My sister is finally acknowledging verbally that her French husband lives with her and their kids in the U.S., not in Paris. It is complicated, but everyone in the immediate family knew that “Asterix” was living at the house. We went along with her pretending he was still in Paris because that seemed to be what she wanted. Now I am wondering if it is okay to send a gift for Asterix, this holiday season? Does Asterix get a separate holiday card?
They’re married and have kids but she was keeping up an appearance of him living abroad? I need to know the backstory on this!
Same, this thread is the best. More gossip please!
So she told us they got divorced. But they did not actually legally divorce. He did move back to Paris. But at some point in the past several years, he moved back to the US, and more specifically into her basement. I only learned in the past year that he was secretly but openly and notoriously back living with the family. The kids were upset about not being able to talk about their father who lived with them. But I was willing to go on pretending that he was still in Paris.
They all went to see Taylor Swift in Paris. They were allegedly visiting him there, but he also had to fly to see Taylor.
This is incredible! Please give more backstory! Why did her husband live in Paris (or why did she say he did)?
Send the card to “Sister and HOUSEHOLD” and underline “household.”
I have so many questions – why would sister not want family to know that Asterix lives with her? Is that not the preferred scenario, to have your spouse living with you and your shared children?
Please report back post holiday gifting – I am invested!
My middle aged sister is bipolar and an alcoholic and has been diagnosed since about age 22. My (divorced) parents apparently never told anyone. I never mention it because, well, it’s her shit show story to tell and she has been fairly stable (own apartment, job, cats).
But this past year my sister’s life took a bad turn- she stopped meds, returned-or perhaps just doubled down on- the booze, and has been in and out of the hospital, a treatment center, rehab, and jail since about April. She lost her job and her housing and has moved in with my mom (“moved” is loose; her stuff is there, she’s currently in rehab and her cat is with a friend).
My mom just told everyone my sister had a stomach ache and that’s why she didn’t come to dinner. What. She has been in rehab since mid October.
Then again, my brother did 3 months of jail time over the holidays once for repeat DUI and my mom told everyone he had a date on Christmas.
What happened? This thread is a mess now…. can’t see which replies go with which sub-thread.
OMG – There is an edit button. How am I just now finding the edit button? Does anyone know how long you can edit a post?
To be fair, there wasn’t an edit button before today!
Wait… what? Where is it? OMG THERE IT IS!! Excuse me while I just sit here in open mouthed amazement…
And apparently we have “likes” now, too. Good Lord.
And… now the “like” button is gone. Which I think is probably a good thing. And thanks for bringing back “collapse/expand all!” (Waiting to see if the “edit” button is still there…)
Wow my tech guys were fast on that — I haven’t even gotten an email from them saying it’s completed so there still may be a bit of work going on. We’re back to the native commenting system if so, so no more like or edit buttons.
I believe for 15 min after posting
There used to be an edit button years ago. This is not enough to compensate for the new lay out.
I like the edit button, but (1) the toggle for collapse or expand all is sorely missed, and (2) having the bright pink accents makes it a LOT more obvious that you’re on personal business, which is not ideal.
Posting just to see it myself.
ETA: and there it is!
Cool!!
Testing this edit thing out but it wants a long comment? Hmmm. Not sure about this.
I’m going to post again on Monday, but does anyone have any tips for traveling to Costa Rica? My SO and I are trying to plan a last minute trip from the northeast in February. We are just starting to plan and would appreciate any suggestions.
Family trip, but a lot of the advice (how to split your time, tr—sport) seems generally applicable
https://www.northcarolinacharm.com/family-trip-to-costa-rica/
February doesn’t seem very last-minute to me! We had a trip fall through (hurricane) and pivoted to an entirely different island on 4 days’ notice – with 3 months you can definitely plan a great trip.
Wait, Costa Rica is not an island?
One of my most fun vacations ever was to Costa Rica with my husband. We started at a rustic-ish surf camp in Dominical (neither of us had ever surfed before, it was beginner-friendly) for about 5 days before renting a car and driving to the Arenal area and staying at Tabacon, which is one of the hot springs resorts (at least at that time, you could also buy a day pass for the springs if you didn’t stay at the resort, it’s definitely worth checking out!). From there, we did hanging bridges, hiked through the rainforest and enjoyed the natural spa. The roads inland and through the rainforest are a little scary – narrow with washouts and sometimes along steep ravines – but it’s a beautiful country.
I have a work trip to Doha in the following weeks. It’s going to be my first time in ME, any advise? Clothes, bussines rules or things to do afterwork? Thanks!
I wear midi length dresses, cover up to my neck and cover shoulders with a suit jacket or wear mid forearm or full length sleeves. Similar to what I wear in my conservative office in the south.
Take a look at the pictures from events online at the American chamber of commerce in Saudi and Dubai and you get a good idea. A lot of women wear pant suits.
If you take birth control, check your medication carefully. My very standard oral birth control pill was not allowed.
It’s been a long time (like 15 years) since I was in Doha, but first of all… bring layers, it gets chilly at night, esp with a breeze off the Gulf. Call it the *Arabian* Gulf, not the Persian Gulf. Dress modestly. It’s a pretty cosmopolitan, international city, but still not the place for shorter hemlines, low necklines, or bare shoulders. I wore trousers, and long/bracelet sleeved blouses so I could take off my jacket without feeling overexposed.
PSA: Remember the awesome colorblock Akris tote that was featured on here a while back? It’s 40% off at Nordstrom right now: https://www.nordstrom.com/s/medium-ai-albert-croquis-convertible-tote/7116759?
Also, I hope everybody who celebrated had a wonderful Thanksgiving and survived any family drama. We had a great time and then the next morning my sister-in-law’s car broke down before she even got on the freeway, so we spent the day helping her buy a new-to-her car. Big fun!