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Wednesday’s Workwear Report: The Knit Blazer

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. knit blazer - Ann TaylorThis sleek knit blazer is winning rave reviews over at Ann Taylor, where reviewers note that it's a medium weight (not super lightweight), has a bit of stretch, and is great for day to night. Lovely! It's $159 at Ann Taylor, full price, sizes 0-14. (FYI: right now they're offering extra 50% off plus extra 10% off all sale styles.) The Knit Blazer This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support! Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com.

Sales of note for 12.13

  • Nordstrom – Beauty deals on skincare including Charlotte Tilbury, Living Proof, Dyson, Shark Pro, and gift sets!
  • Ann Taylor – 50% off everything, including new arrivals (order via standard shipping for 12/23 expected delivery)
  • Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Eloquii – 400+ styles starting at $19
  • J.Crew – Up to 60% off almost everything + free shipping (12/13 only)
  • J.Crew Factory – 50% off everything and free shipping, no minimum
  • Macy's – $30 off every $150 beauty purchase on top brands
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off, plus free shipping on everything (and 20% off your first order)
  • Talbots – 50% off entire purchase, and free shipping on $99+

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

249 Comments

  1. Anyone want to do vicarious shopping this morning? I need a pair of rose gold studs that will go with everything. Something very neutral. Maybe ball studs? Or some other shape? I have a delicate rose gold disc pendant necklace that I wear a lot, and I had flat rose gold disc earrings that went with it, but they disappeared visually on my ears. Sub $200 range. TIA!

    3. I posted a couple neutral pieces from Monica Vinader caught in mod obviously so just hang on a bit and they should be up

    4. Check Gemvara/Gemma Gray – they have several styles where you can pick your metal (and stones).

    7. I have the same problem. My skin tone is pretty red/yellow neutral but my ears lean a little more red. So I can wear rose gold rings and necklaces but not really studs. I recently got a pair of Ava Rose rose gold druzy studs in my Rocksbox and I’m thinking of keeping them – they have just enough sparkle to not totally disappear. My only other rose gold earrings are dangly.

      1. How do you like the Rocksbox? I have been intrigued, but am concerned that most of the pieces are too casual for my daily life.

        1. I really like it! I hesitated for the same reason, but I like that you have so much control over what jewelry you get. You can see their actual stock, not examples like with Stitch Fix, and you get to see what you’re getting before it comes. You can swap out any items that you don’t like. They’re also really good at picking items off your wishlist or pieces that are pretty close to what’s on your wishlist. I’ve gotten a lot of work appropriate stuff from there; I wear mostly antique/vintage jewelry and it’s helped me pick more modern pieces to rotate in. And hey if I want some fun tassle-y thing for the weekends I can get that too!

        2. I loved Rocksbox but sadly it was a casualty of my personal budget cuts. You can tell them what style you want and what you’d wear the pieces to. I received some great work-appropriate pieces and even bought a few, which have remained in heavy rotation.

    8. If visually disappearing is a problem, you’re going to want something with a stone, I think. Depending on your budget, check etsy. I might also think about pearl earrings- they’d be nice with your necklace, and versatile for every day.

    11. idk if you’ll still be reading when I get out of mod, but my favorite simple but not too simple earrings are knotted studs like the link in my username.

  2. I’ve been at a new job for a month and a half, and am struggling with the adjustment. I had been at my old job for 6 years, and knew the place and the work inside out. At my new job, I think I’m doing fine, but will miss things that I should have caught or make other mistakes. Nothing major, but it’s really frustrating to keep messing up and to feel like I don’t know much, and leaves me feeling down (even though maybe I shouldn’t be? I just hate making what I see as stupid mistakes and it keeps happening!)

    Not sure what I’m looking for here, I’m just frustrated bc I made two mistakes that my boss pointed out to me yesterday. Nothing big and she was super nice about it, but perfectionist me is cringing and hating this adjustment period. How long did it take you all to feel more comfortable in a new gig?

    1. A year if it’s a different job. Four months if it’s exactly the same function you did in your last job.

    2. Been at the job 7 weeks, if it makes you feel good I’ll volunteer some mishaps:
      I still can’t manage to submit my expenses.
      It took me 4 weeks to learn how to fill my time sheet.
      Yesterday, I took a very tenured colleague’s “don’t touch or you die” espresso mug from the common kitchen and he literally walked to each desk to check where it was. I just assumed it was for common use.
      Burned my fingers because we have a fancy faucet that gives both cold and boiling water by a simple press, didn’t realize as i was filling my metal water bottle.
      Showed up very late to work because I couldn’t figure out the best bus routes and g00gle failed me
      The list goes on…

      1. Was visiting another company office and did the same with boiling water there. Got eyebrows from the entire break room for screaming “SH1T!”. Yep. Never visiting that office again.

    3. Around a year — maybe even longer if it’s a really different role for you.

      Be kind to yourself during this time, and make sure you are building in time to reflect and learn. If you can, take 15 minutes at the beginning and the end of the day to focus on things you’ve learned, maintaining good records/notes to yourself, and have clear action plans for your next tasks. Lean in to the overwhelmed feeling and be aggressive about learning.

    4. I’m in similar shoes… six weeks into a new job; was at my old one for 7. Thinking back to early days on the old job, I would say it took me about a year to feel entirely competent. The work content at the new job is similar, but it is frustrating to slowly adjust to the new culture, expectations, and processes. I like anon a mouse’s recommendation below to budget time for reflection, maintaining records and notes to accelerate my learning and growth.

    5. I’m about 3 months into a new role after 10 years in my previous. This week is the first time I’m handling one major component of my ongoing work duties and it’s looking like only half of what I want to launch will happen. The learning curve of a new org is steep. By this time next year I think I’ll be running on full steam, but in the meantime, it’s really tough to feel like I’m not contributing the value I’m accustomed to.

    6. Do NOT worry. It happen’s to all of us. When I took my first post law school job serving subpeeinies, I was totally confused, and often made mistakes. But that went away after 3 month’s and within the year, I was the best process server on staff, and was given all the VERY difficult assignments, and I was very successful at it.

      Then when I joined my law firm, the same thing. I knew nothing about WC law, and needed to listen to everything the manageing partner told me. I did, and sure enough, after 3 months or so, I became productive, and then after about a year, I took over cases and did VERY well with what the manageing partner gave me.

      I am now a Partner at the firm, tho Junior, but am the firm’s BIGGEST biller, which is VERY important to the firm. The manageing partner thinks of me as the long-term future of the firm! So this can be the same for you, if you keep your nose clean like me. Good luck to you! YAY!!!

    7. I’m seven months into a new job, and felt pretty comfortable about about 6 months – but it is a unicorn job that is basically a “greatest hits” of all my prior roles, so I only had to learn software and systems (and whose chair not to borrow). In other jobs, I’d echo what others are saying – likely a year to feel comfortable.

    8. I’m 8 weeks into a new job. I keep reminding myself that it would actually be a bad sign if I started a new job and was immediately excellent at it. The reason I took the position was to grow and branch out – not always a comfortable or easy process.

      If you were perfect day 1 – think how bored you would be after year 1!

  3. You just got ride the awkwardness and remind yourself that you haven’t had to learn a new job in 6 years, so it will be an adjustment. Try to not make the same mistake twice (make new ones instead!) and know that you probably learn more for messing up than from doing it right in the first place.

    I mean, this is one of the few times in your career (starting a new job) when you have leeway for messing up – know that your boss isn’t expecting you to hit it out of the park 100% when you are still learning the ropes.

  4. What should I write in my coworker’s baby shower card? We’re not really close so I don’t want to say anything too personal. But congrats on the new addition to your family! sounds too short. Help! It’s a blank card fwiw.

    1. I would just write “Congrats on the new addition to your family.” No need to overthink it.

    2. That’s plenty to write. All of your other coworkers still need to sign, right? Your coworker isn’t expecting a bunch of heartfelt advice (probably).

      1. No one else is signing, this card is just from me. We were sent their registry info in connection with the shower so I got them a gc to the store. The card is just to enclose the gc.

    4. I think that’s fine. No need to write a lot if you aren’t close. I think more would be weirder.

    5. Congratulations on the new addition to your family. All the best wishes for this exciting time, OP

    6. Congratulations on the new addition to your family! Best wishes for a safe delivery! [“smooth adjustment” or something if they’re adopting]

      1. I like smooth adjustment better. I would be a little weirded out if I got a card from a co-worker referencing my delivery – I don’t want them thinking about that!

        1. Yeah, this. I’d find it super icky if my co-worker said anything about my delivery.

        2. Yes. I also wouldn’t want to be reminded of the fact that birth is dangerous and painful and things can go wrong. It’s not cute like “safe travels!” It sounds ominous.

    7. Here are good things to write:

      “You’ll make a great mom!”
      “Congratulations on the new baby! Baby will be lucky to get you as a mom.”
      “I’m so happy for you and your family.”
      “Congratulations! I can’t wait to see baby pictures.”

  5. Fun question: Where should we go for dinner after a weekday matinee of Hamilton in NYC with our tween daughter? We enjoy many kinds of food but are not into huge crowds, touristy places, or steakhouses. I am really loking for someplace that will make my husband, who used to live in Manhattan a million years ago, feel like a local, but also won’t give him too much sticker shock since he’s been living in a LCOL area for a long time.

    1. My go-to in that area is La Esquina on 55th near 7th — it’s counter service, so it’s very chilled out, but has funky decor/vibe and DELICIOUS tacos and booze, and is very reasonably priced for the area. I’m a local and it’s where I meet friends for pre-theater dinner/drinks.

      1. Nizza has a great lunch special! 9th Ave in general will feel more local – its more residential further west. Cara Mia is also good. Bareburger is a chain but pleasant space, varied menu (for burgers), and inexpensive. Get cookies at Schmackary’s or see if the Little Pie Company is still open.

    3. If you don’t mind heading up to the Upper West Side, I highly recommend Pisticci.

  6. I have wavy hair with a difficult texture. I do the basic things they say you should – avoid silicons, sulfates, heat styling – but I’m still only about 70% happy with my hair. I want the equivalent of a Nordstrom personal shopper, but for my hair. I want to go to someone, have them look at my hair, and say “you should use x, y, and z products” so that I can stop buying products randomly trying to find something that works. I don’t want the person to be affiliated with any particular brand, because I want the recommendations to be sincere.

    Is there any service like this? I’m in Chicago if it helps. I’m at a loss even for what search terms to use to Google this.

    1. I’d look for recommendations for a curly hair stylist in your area, or go to r/curlyhair on Reddit and post pictures.

    2. My hairstylist does this for me. He is older and very experienced, and knows my budget. He truly believes most of the stuff out there is upcharged for no reason, and knows all the cheap dupes that are just as good. Almost never does he encourage me to buy anything from his salon.

      So, do you like the person that cuts your hair, and how it looks that day after they work with it? Just tell them what your issue is.

      1. I think it is really hard to find that person. I have curly hair and have only ever found one stylist where I like the cut the way they style it. Most of the stylist I’ve used, I hate how they style my hair.

        Right now, I go to a stylist where I hate how they style my hair but it looks nice after I re-do it. But she always recommends the salon products that don’t work for me. Luckily, I already found products that work for my hair.

          1. The one stylist I liked was at the NYC Deva salon, and I use their products. I love the One Conditioner.

        2. This is my case. I’d prefer to not change stylists at this stage if it turns out there is a personal shopping option out there.

          1. So, your stylist has not been helpful? Have you clearly told them what has/hasn’t worked for you, and asked for help?

    3. A good stylist will do this for you. That’s their job – if you don’t go to one, that’s the service you’re looking for.

      2. If you live close to a Warby Parker store, go there! The sales people were great at helping me find a flattering pair.

        1. Maybe it’s just me, but I find the Warby Parker styles really unflattering on my face. I want to like them, but they don’t deliver.

          1. +1 I don’t like them either. I went into the store and tried on a number of pairs and hated them all.

          2. +1 I don’t like them either. I went into the store and tried on a number of pairs and hated them all.

      3. I have a pair of glasses I love and want a backup. My new (and apparently awesome) optometrist said “Those are incredibly out of style and we have nothing similar. If you’re set on that look, you’ll need to wait a couple of years for it to come back in.” I really appreciated his bluntness.

        So, TLDR; if you can’t find what you want, eyewear is cyclical and you may need to wait out the current trends.

    5. If you want to embrace the waviness, I think the gold standard salon to go to is a Deva Cut salon. They are specifically trained to cut your hair to work with your natural texture. I would imagine they will show you how to style your hair and what products to use.

      1. Caveat as someone who has received a couple of Deva Cuts – go to a Deva Cut trained stylist, but not one that works in a Deva salon – they will be more open to discussing products with you that are not Devachan products. Also, getting a cut that works with your hair texture will help tremendously.

        Also, keep in mind that
        1) even recommended products may or may not work and it is a bit trial and error to finding a holy grail product
        2) don’t try to achieve hair that your hair can’t be. If you have mild waves and want defined waves/gentle curls, it won’t happen unless you heat style it. You can’t make your texture be what it isn’t, embrace the hair you have in its best state. I can’t tell you how long it took me to embrace the tighter curls I have instead of constantly trying to loosen them up.

        1. +1

          I go to a deva-trained stylist but don’t use all of their products because they don’t work for me. It was yeaaaaars of terrible hair before I started doing this and I’m now really happy with it.

          OP do you brush your hair? I would consider not doing that, in addition to the other things you do. I use a wide toothed comb on mine when I condition. Brushing destroys the way my hair hangs.

          1. +1 Never, ever, ever brush curly or wavy hair. I have curly hair and I do not brush it. Ever. That’s curly hair 101.

    6. Call James Joseph in Hinsdale. See if he’ll give you a consultation on your hair cut & products to use. I’ve been going to him for a few years. Can’t say enough good things. He’s worth the drive or train.

      1. Not OP but I have the same problem and live out near Hinsdale. Thanks for the rec!!

    7. Your probably need a different haircut that works with your texture. A great cut will make your hair fall in a flattering way that highlights the waves and frames your face.

    8. I’ve spent years working on my hair texture and figuring out how to highlight my curls by experimenting, talking to hair stylists, reading blogs, etc. I’ve often told people that my dream job would be a curl consultant, helping other people maximize their curls and waves. So, good to know that there’s at least one person who would be interested in such a service :) If you find someone, please report back with your experience!

      Anyway– My top tips to at least get a handle on your best texture.

      1. Do NOT brush your hair when it’s dry. I put conditioner on in the shower and comb with a wide-tooth comb if there are any tangles. Then rinse and scrunch my hair in the shower while it’s still wet. Scrunch out of the shower with a microfiber towel.

      2. If you do need to use a hairdryer, use a diffuser (mine looks considerably better when I use a hair dryer on low with a diffuser).

      3. First try a very light product like a small amount of Bumble & bumble Curl Creme to cut down on frizz and help the curls hold shape, but that won’t weigh the hair down. Assess to see if you need something with more frizz control, more hold, etc.

      Unfortunately the product hunt is often a lot of trial and error. I will go to a place like Ulta that sometimes has tiny bottles and only buy a little at first. Also my hairdresser lets me try different products in her salon and never pressures me to buy anything I’m not interested in. I’ve been going there forever, so sometimes they’ll order tiny bottles for me if I ask. My friends also know I’m interested in hair products and will let me try theirs if they’re doing anything new. So, maybe ask around if you have any friends who you know are into hair or who have a similar texture as you.

      1. Yes! The trial and error for product when you have curly hair is insane. Over the years I’ve realized I have pourous hair (so needs even more moisture) live in a climate that makes humectants (glycerine) a no go, and my hair is mildly sensitive to proteins in products. Some products I can use daily, but some I can’t. I don’t even know why. Seriously, I read labels on hair care products more carefully than food I eat! And even then formulas change, products are discontinued, seasons change, or I travel to a different climate. I love my hair, but man it takes a lot of work!

  7. Help me make my bedroom a place I actually enjoy. I moved into a new apartment a few months ago and it’s the first time I’ve ever had a bedroom that didn’t double as an office or other multipurpose space. The problem is my bedroom just looks like a jumble of random stuff instead of a peaceful cohesive space to relax. I have a platform bed, a bookshelf I’m using as a nightstand, and a dresser in there and while none of it clashes, it’s just kind of there. I like all the pieces individually, but I don’t like the resulting room. I don’t have the budget for a full redesign but I could swing a new piece or two that would make it come together. What do you recommend that would have the biggest impact? Thanks!

    1. Do you have wall to wall carpeting or hardwood? If hardwood, a big area rug can really tie a room together. Also, shelving where you can put pictures/trinkets. Also: plants and curtains (but make sure to hang them properly). And good lighting (a pretty floor lamp, sconces, or a decorative table lamp on your bedside table).

      2. Plants in cute planters (check out West Elm and CB2 for inspo, but I’m sure you can find them for less), a large rug (you can layer a rug on top of a carpet), and curtains. And, I’d consider a large statement piece of art (maybe find a print on Etsy).

          1. I don’t do plants since I don’t have a green thumb, but I cannot figure out why the bedroom is any different from any other room. It wouldn’t cross my mind in a hundred years to be concerned about mold, pollen, or bugs. My only concern would be how quickly I’d kill the poor thing.

    3. Do you live alone, or do you share an apartment?

      Because my philosophy about my bedroom is different than yours. The purpose of my bedroom is sleep. So it contains a dresser and a couple small tables, but the goal is to make it intimate and comfortable for sleep and nothing else matters. It is my living room/library/kitchen where I search for cohesion and my style.

      Perhaps this is the first time you have a bedroom just for sleep!

      I have a couple things on the wall that are personal and dear to me (ex. a beautiful drawing my mother did for me as a child that is framed, a painting my grandmother made), a few small family antiques (end tables, lamp), a wonderful bed with beautiful sheets/pillows/comforter, comfy slippers nearby and all of my clothes as organized as best as they can be in my dressers/closets so getting up is a bit easier. And of course, my multiple clocks/clock radio and Echo dot, which are all essential for my sleep and ending it!

      What pulled it together a bit for me were window coverings, and a color on the wall. That is plenty.

      But try not to clutter it too much, especially if it is small.

    5. Do you have a headboard? That, a rug and good lighting makes the biggest difference for me. Also curtains. Our bedroom is currently super unfinished – we’ve had construction, a new baby, and waiting to buy any new furniture – but I recently got some new curtains and moved a rug in from another room and it’s made the whole space much cozier. The headboard is a padded kind from World Market and makes for very nice lounging.

    6. Could you paint/stain your furniture so it all matches? That and curtains that match your bedding would make things way more cohesive imo.

    7. Bedside tables, lamps, and wall art. Use the bookshelf as an actual bookshelf not a table – put some pictures and maybe a diffuser on in.

    8. I’d ditch the bookshelf nightstand and hit HomeGoods to see if they have an inexpensive actual nightstand or a matched set of nightstands. Consider using matching trays for the tops of any dressers or nightstands that could make it all work together. Is your bedding cluttering things up or making your bed mismatched? Maybe use a white or solid color duvet to help tie things together.

    10. Nice, matching bedside lamps and a pretty, decorative mirror. Those pieces made my room for me.

    11. I pretty much live in my bedroom, so I’ve created a really comfy space.

      Some ideas:
      -pretty window coverings that create some texture.
      -a color scheme that makes you happy. My bedroom walls are periwinkle with white trim, so I have white faux-wood blinds and white curtains with periwinkle ribbon trim.
      -comfortable and pretty bedding and area rugs that tie it together. A pretty quilt with throws and rugs in coordinating colors pulls it all together.
      -Artwork! I love my art photography and prints from local artists.
      -Furniture or storage pieces that make your life easier. I have a basket where I put clothes that I rewear (like jeans) and an ottoman in a spring green that makes it easier to sit and put my shoes on in the morning.
      -Right now, I have a lot of clutter, mostly unfinished knitting projects. I really should get a pretty basket for them so they’re not in bags on the floor. Pretty storage is key!

    12. Curtains that go all the way from ceiling to floor (looks way more cohesive, makes ceilings look taller). It’s expensive, but Anthro curtains are always my go-to apartment splurge because of what they do for a room.

      LIGHTING. Make sure you have enough area lighting instead of just overhead. Huge difference.

  8. Anyone know if AT is doing this 50%+10% discount in store as well? Just ordered something online for store pickup, and might end up browsing when I’m there at this level of discount.

    1. I was there yesterday and got an additional 50% off a dress that was already marked down.

  9. I just bought a blazer at Ann Taylor yesterday! Not this one though, the shorter one that’s $169 (had a coupon that knocked it down to $119), I tried this one on as well but long blazers tend to look goofy on me.

    And I left the store wondering if we’d see an Ann Taylor picks this week . . .

  10. I have a furniture quest. I would like to get one or two foldable chairs or something similar that I can bring into our kid’s room when grandparents come to visit. She likes them to play with her in there but it’s hard for them to sit on the floor and her bed has a toddler rail that makes it hard to sit on. There’s not really room for an armchair unless it was super narrow which I don’t think would be comfy. I’d like something that looked nice and like real furniture though, not a beach chair. Does something like this exist?

      1. Or a director’s chair. You could even get “grandma” printed on it: http://www.orientaltrading.com/personalized-directors-chair-a2-91_6654.fltr?sku=91%2F6654&BP=PS544&ms=search&source=google&cm_mmc=GooglePLA-_-1338193093-_-53413216294-_-91%2F6654&cm_mmca1=OTC%2BPLAs&cm_mmca2=GooglePLAs&cm_mmca3=PS544&cm_mmca4=FS39&cm_mmca5=Shopping&cm_mmca6=PLAs&cm_mmc10=Shopping&cm_mmca11=91%2F6654&cm_mmca12=Personalized-Director%27s-Chair&gclid=Cj0KCQjwv-DaBRCcARIsAI9sba_ErjpUzSzlJ8AR4krGVqyIVExKVSI2yEqLnc81TAjosFPuArcleHwaAkNsEALw_wcB

    2. Yes – my friend has beautiful teak folding chairs that she uses outside. I’d get something like that and make sure they’re tall enough to use at your dining room table for when you’re squeezing in extra guests.

  11. Yes. Search padded wood folding chairs. They look like dining room table chairs. I got a pair at Costco.

    1. +1 I have these folding chairs from Costco, and they’re perfect for storing and pulling out when you have extra guests. They’re wood with padded upholstered seats so they’re decently comfy — and cheap.

  12. I am awaiting a big career-related announcement that will come mid-September. While this won’t be officially voted on until mid-September, and a lot of things can change between now and then, every indication is that it will be a positive result for me. The problem for me is that now I just want to fast-forward and get through the next two months as quickly as possible. But I have also reminded myself that summer is my favorite time of year and, in reality, summer is the last thing I’d want to fast-forward. So I’ve made up my mind to try to put the announcement in the back of my mind and enjoy the rest of the summer.

    My question is this: what (if anything) do you do to savor summer? We have a long weekend in the mountains scheduled in August, and a longer vacation for the first week in September. I’m thinking I’ll try to eat all my dinners on the back porch. Any other suggestions to embrace the wait and enjoy these two months as much as possible?

    1. Trips to the pool/beach, u-pick fruit (blueberries, peaches, blackberries, etc.) and trips to the farmers market, easy meals that really take advantage of the summer produce, cold wine on a hot night.

    2. I try “live” outside as much as possible on my porch. Eat, drink, read, even bring my laptop and do some work on the porch. Agree with Anon in NYC to take advantage of summer food – eat and cook all the things that taste best in season. I like to take my dog on long walks in the evening, enjoying the longer light and (usually) cooler, but still warm summer air.

      Ugh, now I really want to get out of my office!

      1. Yep, this is what we do. We spend every night on the back deck (for us, that meant we had to get a mosquito service – we practically live in a swamp) – that’s where we read the mail, have a beer, eat dinner. On weekends, we go to farmer’s markets and grill out. We just avoid the indoors as much as possible :) (Oh, and summer is the perfect excuse for getting a weekly ice cream cone from the local stand, right? ;) )

    3. I pay way too much (relatively speaking) to order fresh Georgia peaches from a local farm near my hometown, because I am of the opinion the peaches in my current state are just terrible. Nothing says summer quite like Georgia peaches.

      And eat outside. And lots and lots of ice cream.

  13. I think I’ve seen this mentioned before but I have searched and can’t find the post. I’m wanting to give up on purchasing online from places like Loft and J. Crew because all of their clothing arrives with deep fold creases that I can’t get out on my own. I end up having to take all of those pieces immediately to the dry cleaner to get the creases pressed out. Did someone say that you can take these into an actual store location and they will press them for free? Did I dream that?

    1. In case the issue is that you need a new iron, I can’t recommend the Sunbeam Steam Master irons highly enough. They’ll get any crease out! I’ve been using them for the last decade – they’re so good I’ve converted all of our close family to them, too. (I had the black and blue one until I dropped it on concrete and killed it; I have the teal and silver now. Both great. And they have retractable cords!)

      1. I didn’t realize there was a big difference between iron types! I’ll look into this. Thanks!

        1. Avid ironer here! Heavier irons are better, though this model is more old-fashioned it also tends to be cheap. Also, spraying water onto the crease, and then ironing it while still wet, will always do the trick. You don’t necessarily need a water sprayer in the iron. I keep a spray bottle by my ironing board and that’s just as good.

          1. Sometimes the spray bottle is better because the water sprayer on my iron always gives me one big wet spot instead of distributing better.

            But yeah, water+ iron or the steam function on my iron or steamer usually gets the creases out. I mean, the steamer is what they are going to use at the store anyway.

        2. I’m a big fan of steaming & I like the big/stand up in your house with a large water tank kind. I find it easier & more effective than ironing and it refreshes clothing in a way that ironing does not. (& it definitely gets all those creases out in seconds)

          1. I’ve tried using a steamer on these creases and they don’t come out. Maybe mine isn’t a super powerful one or something. I’m surprised I’m the only one having these issues. I’m obviously doing something wrong!

          2. If you’re using one of those handheld steamers, I don’t think that will work as well. I’ve only had great love for and success with the large, almost an appliance, kind of steamer. My husband brought it into the house so I don’t have a link, but I’m sure you could find something like that on Amazon. Ours is an upright thing where you can hang clothes on a hook at the top & there’s a giant tank of water in the bottom.

    2. FWIW, I haven’t used an iron in a decade. I swear by my steamer for all of my clothes. It’s amazing!

  14. I’m leaving Biglaw in a week to move in-house, for various reasons which include wanting to start a family, and that the 2000 yearly billable hours were making me miserable.

    I don’t know why I’m feeling this way (I was really happy to get the new job), but I can’t shake off the feeling that I’ve achieved nothing in the 4 years I’ve been in the firm – I’ve never really been anyone go-to, and would honestly only be considered an average associate that realistically wouldn’t have been on any partner track anyway. The rational part of myself knows that it’s crazy to define my self-worth based on what I’ve achieved in my job, but a part of me is really disappointed that I didn’t excel at being a Biglaw attorney.

    Not really looking for advice, just commiserations/a slap back to reality, maybe?

    1. What you achieved is making yourself a boatload if money while positioning yourself to move to a better job you’ll like more.

    2. Am I wrong, but I see your time as like a medical residency… where you receive intensive training… as a stepping stone to your final path. Just think how far you have come since finishing law school!

      And even better…. you earned a lot of $$. Even better than medical residency! So now you are truly positioned to do what you want to do for better quality of life.

    3. I wonder if guys in the NFL think this way. Like I played D1 and was all conference in college and all-state in high school but I got drafted in the third round and played 4 mediocre seasons. I mean, I could have been a Tom Brady and am disappointed I’m not. With any luck, I’ll take my NFL savings and get an MBA and maybe, maybe I’ll be successful in business like Roger Staubach. At least I didn’t get injured or have brain damage.

      TL;DR: don’t beat yourself up; you are, on a global scale, pretty successful. #GlassHalfFull

      FWIW, I live down the street from a guy who got drafted by the NFL but never played; he went on to make a mint of $ in business but I think the NFL thing haunts him a bit still

      1. I definitely know a few NFL guys who feel like this. They worked really hard in HS to get recruited D1, worked 24-7 at the D1 and one was a star college player and the other was good but not the total star of his team. Star gets recruited 2nd round as a relatively hot prospective — somehow it never clicked, got released in year 2 and bounced as a free agent and career over at 26. Non star got recruited in later rounds, released a bunch of times, finally got in via tryout and his career also ended by age 25-26 when there was no contract renewal — and unlike the star he didn’t even walk away with a few million or a few hundred k in guarantee money.

    4. I was you about six years ago. I did BigLaw for five years and was miserable the entire time. I chronically felt average, at best. It killed my confidence and led to a huge depressive episode even though I’ve never struggled with depression before or since. I left for another legal job, but not with a firm. I’ve been so happy every since then. Well, now that I think about it, it took about a year to renormalize to who I had been before the BigLaw job. Now I’m absolutely fantastic at what I do and I also have time to have a life. I don’t get paid nearly as much money, but it doesn’t matter at all to me. I have no idea if I really was just an average associate or if I just felt that way, but it doesn’t matter to me anymore. I’m great at what I do now and that’s enough.
      I hope you too regain your confidence and really enjoy your in-house position. Good luck!

  15. I’m leaving Biglaw in a week to move in-house, for various reasons which include wanting to start a family, and that the 2000 yearly billable hours were making me miserable.

    I don’t know why I’m feeling this way (I was really happy to get the new job), but I can’t shake off the feeling that I’ve achieved nothing in the 4 years I’ve been in the firm – I’ve never really been anyone go-to, and would honestly only be considered an average associate that realistically wouldn’t have been on any partner track anyway. The rational part of myself knows that it’s crazy to define my self-worth based on what I’ve achieved in my job, but a part of me is really disappointed that I didn’t excel at being a Biglaw attorney.

    Not really looking for advice, just commiserations/a slap back to reality, maybe?

    1. You sound like a very driven, ambitious person, and that’s great. That probably means that you want to be a superstar in your career. The thing to keep in mind is that this is still possible. No one is a superstar at every job they ever hold (although some people find their sweet spot early). The Biglaw job may have been your training ground where you garnered the skills it will take to be superstar when you find your niche down the road. Maybe this position, maybe the next one, but you just have to keep pushing until you find it. You have a long career ahead of you, and only in retrospect will you get to see how the pieces of the puzzle came together.

    2. Are you me? I moved in-house in October after being an associate at big law nyc for 4 years (not counting my summer associate summer). After coming in-house I realized that it wasn’t ME- it was the firm for having such an environment where it was really hard to show my skillset because everything went through the team. Having been in house for almost 10 months, I have so much more self-worth now than I did before. Good for you for getting out of there!

    3. The system is designed to churn through associates. I don’t think rage against the system is helpful, but you also can’t beat yourself up for the system.

    4. It may help you to realize that outside of the world of BigLaw, people aren’t anywhere near as impressed by BigLaw as people in BigLaw think they are. No one thinks you’re a loser because you went from BigLaw to a corporate in-house position. If anything, many people think corporate in-house positions are infinitely more interesting because it’s tied to running a business with an actual product.

  16. We had layoffs at my company a few weeks ago. They came as a total shock, and we lost some great people.

    My job and department is very safe and I’m busy and I generally love it, but obviously this has put a damper on morale. I feel like I’ve been a fool for investing as much energy and optimism in my job leading up to all this. The emotional roller coaster involved has been unexpected, to say the least. I am starting to dread going to work every day because managing everyone’s emotions related to this feels so draining.

    Not even really sure what I’m looking for —commiseration, maybe?

    1. Be happy you have a job? I was one of the ones let go, and felt all of those things in addition to worrying that I will never work again, why me, etc. And I have never gotten back to that salary or as good a job. Let everyone manage their own emotions. And as the laid off person, reach out to them not with schadenfraude or “good thing you’re out of this he!!hole” but offer to introduce them to people. I can count on one hand how many people reached out.

      1. +1

        And I totally agree with your last two sentences.

        Good luck to you 11:19 anon. You can do it. Ultimately, we are all alone…

    2. Survivor guilt is real. It’s disheartening to come face to face with the fact that Company’s interests don’t always align with yours. (I assume you already knew it, just hadn’t seen it in action.). I’ve been in both sides, they both mess with your head. Morale will come back so long as it doesn’t happen again in the near future. Loyalty is not rewarded.

    3. We just had very serious layoffs and other positions frozen. Although I was one of the people negotiating with the administration and my job is safe (tenured), it still affects my staff and my workload and our whole division. I’ve been keeping in touch with our team member who was laid off and when she came in to take her stuff home, we all gathered and helped her and helped load boxes in her car and hugged her lots. We’ve worked on some projects together in the past week that have been really cathartic and we’ve cried together about the mess. Going forward, I’m helping my group to think about ways that we can combine forces to do some of the work and I’m slowly introducing some ideas about what we might stop doing in order to get other work done. Next week, when I’m back in the office, I’ll meet with them to go over what needs to be covered and we’ll work together to figure it all out. Not a lot of advice. Mostly commiseration.

    4. So I lived thru this for many rounds at my co and then got laid off about 8 years into my career there. Before the rampant layoffs I was one of these – anything for work, make the company look good, loyal people. Now I hate to say it —totally jaded and work is a transactional bargain where my goal is to make as much $$$ as possible.

  17. Another home decor question: we can’t figure out what kind of rug to get for our bedroom! Most of the furniture is dark brown/black (“espresso”) and we have a red and blue pieced quilt that a friend made for our wedding. It looks so American that oriental and oriental-esque rugs seem odd with it, but I dunno what else to look for. I feel like a rag rug would be sort of kitschy with a quilt, when we don’t have an overall country vibe (or live in the country). What would you do? (Am I wrong in either of my above suppositions?)

    1. What about going in a “Rustic” direction instead of “country”?

      We have similar furniture and bedding to work with and are contemplating a big white cowhide rug from Ikea.

  18. Hi! I recently moved to DC and live near the Cathedral. I’m hoping for recommendations for (1) someone to cut and color my thick, somewhat wiry hair and (2) someone to do Botox. Any recommendations? Is it possible to get someone to cut and color for under $200?

    1. I love Immortal Beloved on 14th Street — but I’ve never had my hair colored in DC for under $200 unless I’ve been with a “junior” stylist who takes 2x as long (maybe you’re okay with that – when I was a grad student I was!)

      I go to Intergrated Dermatology K Street for my derm stuff and am happy with the practice, but haven’t had Botox (yet, so I’ll watch the recommendations here too…)

      1. I also to to IB and love it. I have different hair than you, but the IB stylists are very active on Instagram, so you could check their accounts to see their work and pick who you like.

    2. My hair is pretty much the opposite of yours, so I have no specific recommendations, but I can tell you how I found my stylist who I love. I looked on yelp for salons in the general vicinity I wanted, then I looked at pictures for people who had hair like mine and were happy with their results and saw which stylist they mentioned in their reviews. This led me to a stylist who I absolutely love. She actually left the salon and I now trek out to Alexandria for her, but it’s so worth it. As for price, if you’re including tip I think it would be hard to get cut and color under $200.

    3. For botox, go to Dr. Melda Isaac on M St NW in West End. She’s very conservative and the results are subtle but worth it.

  19. What are your go-to work tops? I find that I don’t love any of the tops I am wearing to work right now and I’d like to get some basics. I prefer non-synthetic but okay with some poly. Don’t love ironing and prefer machine wash. Any specific recommendations of basics that have worked for you?

    1. I literally bought 4 of this white faux-wrap/ruched top. Machine washable. Short sleeves. Layers well. No wrinkles. Very flattering. I love it. I could wear it every day. Macy’s. Reasonably priced and gets even cheaper with all the sales.

      In addition to white, I have a dusty rose color and a pale baby blue.

      I am small on top, pear shaped. I have literally searched for years and this is my holy grail top.

    2. My post went to moderation. Just to add…. while I would prefer all beautiful silk tops, I have found that I do not have the patience for dry cleaning (or like the chemicals) or careful care/hanging/steaming/ironing/pressing that these tops require. An interesting poly top that has the benefits of easy care/easy cleaning/ no iron can’t be eat for the working woman these days.

      2. Will this work on someone who carries all of their weight in their tummy pooch/hips? I like the shirt a lot, but it looks like it would zone in and magnify that area.

        1. I have a tummy and it depends how you wear the blouse. If you let it float free, it hides quite a bit in the folds. If you tuck it in tight and wear it with a pencil skirt with no topper, well then…. that wouldn’t be flattering for many of us…. I would order a couple of sizes, and try it with your favorite bottoms/toppers and see.

          I carry my weight mostly in my hips/butt, with a smaller tummy. It wouldn’t work for me if all of my weight was in my tummy, but body shapes are so unique that you never know unless you try it.

      1. I love these tops! I do think they are overpriced for polyester but they’re great basics that look good with basically everything.

        1. I tend to buy the “old” colors/prints at about half price. They seem to constantly go on sale as the new versions come out.

    5. I really like the tops at uniqlo. All machine washable, 20-30$ and look more expensive.

  20. Can anyone talk to me about Poughkeepsie? A former colleague reached out to me about a position in an adjacent department to him at Vassar. The job is appealing but I know nothing about the area. Thoughts?

    1. I have family in that area. Poughkeepsie itself is pretty run down, but the Hudson River Valley area is beautiful, and there are plenty of nicer towns within commuting distance – Rhinebeck comes to mind, but I’m sure there are others. If you’re an outdoorsy person, there’s lots of hiking/mountain biking in the area.

    2. I think a lot of Vassar professors live in NYC or Westchester and commute up for their classes.

    3. Poughkeepsie is kind of run down, but around it, the Hudson River Valley area, is lovely. Beacon is a very up and coming city just a bit south, and of course, further south you have all the Rivertowns (Tarrytown, Irvington, Dobbs Ferry, and Hastings). I live in a Rivertown and am biased, but its really nice – lots of great outdoor space and paths for running, biking and hiking, great restaurants. Anything along the Hudson would be driveable, plus there is a commuter rail line (MetroNorth Hudson Line) which runs along the Hudson.

  21. I just got a very promising email in regards to my dream job and I am so excited I could run around my office screaming. Gotta keep my composure, but holy sh*t this is so big, its years of work finally coming to fruition.

  22. I’m getting married next June. My fiancé comes from a Muslim family, while mine is not religious. Fiancé isn’t religious either, and we’re having a secular ceremony with a friend officiating – just what we wanted.

    Future MIL is throwing a big fit (after 6 months of silence) and threatening to boycott the wedding because I’m not converting to Islam and that there will be no Muslim marriage ceremony. It’s affecting me a lot more than I thought it would. Thoughts on how to handle this?

    1. You don’t handle this; your fiance does. You can give him moral support and let him know you back him completely, but this is on him.

    2. I have been married since 2003 and my only advice is to accept that this will always be an issue. My husband’s Catholic parents (who I have complained about many times here) will never love me and will never really accept our choices as a family. As time passes, I have far hewer fecks to give.

      Wherever possible, answer dispassionately with a firm party line. Whether they attend or not is up to them – all you can do is say “we hope you change your mind” and go from there. Do not apologize for your choices.

      People might suggest that you try to incorporate some elements of your husband’s cultural traditions as a nod to your in-laws and their feelings. On that I say proceed with caution. For some people, they will be touched and it will be lovely. For others, not so much – irrational people will push and push and it will never ever be enough (trust me, I tried this route and it did not work).

      Congratulations on your engagement, OP – keep your eye on the prize.

      1. I had a similar situation. I am not that religious. My husband is Jewish but identifies more with the culture/tradition than anything religious. His mother grew up Orthodox and is now Conservative. She is very religious/observant. I got somewhat lucky in that my husband’s older sister had already married someone who was not Jewish; however, since whether you are Jewish or not passes through the mother, the fact that I am not Jewish is still a big deal. She did at some point when we were dating ask my husband to ask me if I would be willing to convert… which was uncomfortable. My husband I guess had been wondering too, and he had to talk to her about it.

        We had a mixed-faith ceremony, so we wrote it ourselves with really whatever we wanted in it. So it had some aspects of Jewish tradition, some aspects of Christian tradition, and some that was just what we wanted. MIL though kept trying to inject more Jewish things into the ceremony, like when she decided she was going to buy kippahs for everyone and when she kept pushing to stand up at the altar during the ceremony with us. This made me very upset, and I still think affects my relationship with my MIL. My husband handled this for me and explained to MIL that the fact that we were choosing not to do certain Jewish things wasn’t just a decision not to do them but to adopt another tradition, etc., and that we had put a lot of thought into our decisions, etc. He thought her interjections mainly came from her thinking that we were being thoughtless about parts of the ceremony, etc., and not realizing that we were also being respectful of other people at the ceremony. For example, we finally reached a compromise on the kippahs that they would be optional and only for the Jewish men at the ceremony, as opposed to making everyone else, who were for the most part, not Jewish wear one for a non-religious ceremony. Eventually though, my husband had to tell MIL that any wedding questions needed to go to him and not me. This helped a lot, and I am assuming that he never told me about a lot of the questions MIL had that he resolved.

        Another thing too that has helped is that I go to Passover seders every year with his family and other major Jewish holidays. This means a lot to his mother because it indicates that while I’m still not converting, I’m respectful of their traditions, etc. I know this will come up again when we have kids, so I’m kind of working on establishing more boundaries with her, etc., so that these conversations are hopefully a little easier when they come up with the kids than they were with our wedding.

    3. Similar issues were at play in our wedding.

      – A practical wedding has lots of good advice about this. That was where I turned when it had me down day to day.

      – PLEASE get premarital counseling of some kind. There are lots of secular options. Please don’t try to work through this incredibly painful issue without some professional support. It will determine whether the foundation of your marriage is crumbly or solid, even if it’s just naming and getting certain issues out on the table as something you will have to navigate together.

      – There are lots of good books about this. I know you aren’t religious, but Christians talk about a concept of “leave and cleave” that might be helpful– the idea that once you get married, your primary loyalty and focus shifts from your family of origin to the new family you create with your partner. I will see if I can find some of the books that helped me on this. The one my husband liked best was Coping With Your Difficult Older Parent.

    4. I have zero patience for monster in laws. Call her bluff. If she says she’s not coming to the wedding, your answer is “Okay, see you after the wedding.” Make sure your husband is 100% on your side or it will get ugly. Your marriage, how you raise your children – she will be interfering every step of the way and it’s up to your husband to back you up.

    5. I’m saying this as a secular woman born into a Muslim family so before anybody jumps on me, please know I what I am talking about.

      Please, please, please get a good temperature on your fiance, and make sure he is not going to change his tune about conversion later … particularly with kids.

      The cultural pull towards conversion is very strong.

      1. I’m Muslim too and THIS. Muslim guys are notorious for – oh I’m not religious, look I drink, it’s my choice who I marry, doesn’t matter if my 5 tines a day prayer parents hate it — to OMG my mother is crying, the fiancé MUST covert and my kids MUST be Muslim.

        1. LOL yes this.

          I am also Muslim but not very religious. I dated someone who was not that religious until we were talking about marriage and he was so concerned that a nightly glass of wine would corrupt our future children. And he married someone so much more religious than I ever could hope to be.

      2. THIS. My uncle attempted to have his parents kidnap my cousin who was an infant at the time (as in, they refused to give back the baby after babysitting, with the uncle’s blessing and encouragement) after my aunt refused to have him converted. This was after they married and had, what she thought, an understanding regarding raising children in a secular way. It was ugly and awful, and involved police at the time. Eventually this issue resulted in separation and later divorce.

    6. Late to comment so I hope you see this – I went through this as well. I had one conversation with my MIL about the nature of h*ll and then my now-husband took over…that convo didn’t go well but after it he dealt with his MIL / family and we have never spoken about my religious beliefs since.

      Giving MIL an out might be helpful here. There are a few ways to do this so I’ll tell you what I did. My MIL thinks of me as a “woman of the book” since I was raised nominally Christian (while recognizing that she actually gets the best of both worlds since I’m not religious and wouldn’t try to impose Christianity on DH or our kids). We also did explicitly agree to raise our kids Muslim in our Islamic marriage contract (but this was easy for me – first, I’m totally fine with that since it matters to DH and not to me, and second, we don’t plan on having kids).

      I disagree strongly with “this is your life”. It may be, but this may also be a fight that your MIL is willing to have now, but is not willing to have as your marriage gets closer and your relationship with your fiance becomes more and more real to her. You have almost a year before you get married so there is lots of time to figure out how this will actually play out. In our case, the family drama also impacted the way that my family saw my fiance and impacted my and his relationship with them, so keep in mind that this may have results that you don’t expect now.

      I would make sure you can talk to your fiance about this in a healthy way. We got a couples counselor during the time that we were going through the drama related to this. My fiance also talked to our counselor individually when he needed more support. If I’d gone through it again I would also get an individual therapist (but that is a lot of therapy – your tolerance for that might vary).

      And to end on a happy note – the drama related to my relationship hit a high note the summer of 2013, we got engaged the summer of 2014, married Sept 2015, and now my relationship with my husband is amazing and I’m close with all of my in-laws, including husband’s parents and siblings, none of whom were thrilled we were together at the beginning. It is possible for it to turn around 100%.

  23. It’s not just the wedding. This is going to be your life. You are going to have a mother-in-law who does not approve of you and doesn’t approve of your marriage. When and if you have children, there will be a fight about that. And have you talked to your fiance about how your children will be raised?

    My thought is that you have to realize that there is no good solution here. Either you will have to put up with a MIL who is unkind to you, or your fiance will have to be okay with being estranged from his family. Have you two talked this through and figured out what you are both willing to accept?

  24. Are there any “recovering lawyers” on this board? You know that old trope, lawyers who quit law to do, well, anything else?

    I am a very, very different person than when I went to law school. A near-death experience 5 years ago was just the kind of shock you hear about – changed priorities, etc. I don’t like sitting in an office all day – being indoors, sitting in front of a computer, quietly writing…it’s just not me. I want to be outdoors, away from computers, and talking to others. This feeling has only gotten stronger with time, not weaker. It’s to the point where I dream about being a park ranger haha. It’s not burn-out – my job is chill enough – it’s just disinterest and wanting something different.

    I don’t have a question, I guess, just curious about others who might have walked this path. Open to hearing stories of your second cousin or what have you who’s left law.

    1. I would love this to be me, but my student loans from law school prevent it from happening. Anything else I’d love to do pays substantially less. Maybe in 10-15 years.

    2. That’s me. Left law to become an RN. I spent the last two years of my legal career physically ill, going to the doctor multiple times per month, and realized I didn’t even like practicing law so why was I risking my health for it?

      If leaving isn’t an immediate goal, I would start stockpiling cash (your F-you fund) and formulate a plan. It is really hard to walk away from lawyer money without a goal. I used the book The Pathfinder by Nicholas Lore and did all the activities. It took me about 6 months. If your next career path involves more education, look to local community colleges. I started with just one class per semester.

      Good luck! I’m in the middle of the worst part of nursing school and I know I made the right decision for me!

    3. I am!

      I went to a solid little local law school knowing very little about being a lawyer, but thankfully had a full scholarship so I didn’t come out with any student debt from that experience (which I recognize is really lucky of me, and rare). If I had student debt from law school, my path would have looked more like what Wanderlust describes.

      That combination of circumstances allowed me to go into law-adjacent things without needing to repay a heavy debt load. I clerked for a year, which confirmed that there were things I loved about the field and skillset, but ultimately confirmed that litigation was not for me (and again, I had no idea what existed beyond that…), so I identified what would make me happy and use the skills. Public administration (specifically labor and employee relations) and higher ed admin have kept me happy and fulfilled for almost a decade since.

    4. Me! I went from law firm associate to in-house counsel to HR. Now I am director-level in HR and focusing on workplace equity and diversity, and I work for a nonprofit so I’m working toward PSLF. I am so much happier now that I am not practicing. I do keep my license active so I can occasionally do pro bono work (mostly immigration cases), but I’m otherwise out of the legal world.

      I’m not outside all day, but my work-life balance allows me to be outside at least once per day, and that’s goo enough for now. If I had no kids and a lower COL, I’d become a park ranger. :)

    5. I left law to become a technical writer (have a bachelor’s in science and used to be a patent lawyer). It’s fun and pays decently, although not like large law firms. I graduated with a pretty small amount of debt and worked in Big Law for 6 years, so financially I came out way ahead. My current job is very flexible (I can work from home basically whenever I want) and very low hours (35-40/week), which is perfect for my stage of life with young children. Basically I have no regrets because I enjoyed being a lawyer, made sort of an absurd amount of money, and enjoy my life now, but I do kind of wish I had gone for the PhD in my scientific field. Academia was so intimidating to me in college and I know it can be a brutal life, especially with a spouse who also needs a university job, but I think I would have enjoyed it and I would have loved to be a woman in STEM role model for my girls. DH and I know lots of female scientists and engineers so it’s not like they’ll be lacking for role models or STEM enrichment, but…I wish it were me.

      1. You are still an inspiration to them and showing them that there’s not just one path (STEM) to being valuable. You can show them that “regular” women can be smart and tech savvy and interested in the world, not just the fancy engineers. (I am exaggerating the stance here of course. Also I am speaking as a STEM woman.) You don’t need to be in science to be a great role model for your daughters to get interested in science. Also? I think technical writer counts as STEM (depending on what you’re writing about) because you have to take the complicated ideas and translate them into an intelligible coherent text and that ain’t nothin.

        All this to say high five, give yourself some credit, you are a great role model!

    6. Yes- was a litigator for about 8 years, got burned out and switched to marketing for law firms. It’s a great background and fit with my personality.

  25. Does anyone have a Fitbit Versa? Job has a fitness expenses allowance and I’ve been eyeing a fitness tracker.

    I have an older FitBit and like it okay, but I love that this is more smartwatch than fitness tracker. I have an Android phone, so no issues with the “reply back” feature that seems to be a huge con from Apple users.

    1. Are those allowances becoming more common? For ages, my company was the only one I knew who had one! Unless we work at the same place…

      I moved from an Alta to a Versa, but ultimately returned it to get an AppleWatch. Now, an an Android user that might not be an option, but I found the Versa too big on my wrist and that the smartwatch features just weren’t that good – I feel like FitBit excels at trackers, not smartwatches. And that’s ignoring the replay back feature you mentioned. Maybe look at the LG models?

  26. Interested on the group’s thoughts on something. A friend’s adult/college age daughter went on a girls trip to an all inclusive resort. They had a very early flight home. Daughter went out partying the night before with “another group of girls” (ahem, a boy), “fell asleep” (passed out) and didn’t make it back to the room before her friends had to leave for the airport. Daughter’s phone was also dead but the friends had left a gazillon messages and texts for her. Apparently daughter had been partying by herself the whole trip because her friends went to sleep “early” (at closing time?), so this incident was kind of par for the course for that weekend.

    Friend is livid that daughter’s friends left her in a foreign country by herself (it’s a resort not Iran I mean seriously) and is pressuring daughter to not be friends with these girls anymore. Friend has also banned the girls from her house (daughter lives at home). I told friend she’s being unreasonable, she needs to let daughter handle this, and frankly I would’ve done the same thing in daughter’s friends’ shoes – I’m not missing my flight and skipping out on work because my drunk mess friend decided hooking up with a guy was more important than making her flight. But maybe that’s awful idk I’ve never experienced anything like this. I travel alone frequently so I’m used to having to figure out missed connections etc. on my own. I’m just curious what everyone else would do – would you really stay behind and find your friend?

    1. No I would not stay behind to find a friend, especially when they were not “lost” but rather being irresponsible and drunk. Where is the responsibility here? The daughter is at fault for her own actions.

    2. I agree with you.

      Although honestly, I may have called the local police too if I was the sober friend who flew home. You never know…..

      The mother should be furious at her daughter. Much less so with her friends….

      Curious – what country? Some horrible things have happened to friends of mine in Mexico. Police pulled me over and extorted $$ or they would have held us in jail so we would miss our flight back to the US (Yukatan penninsula). A close friend was kidnapped with her boyfriend and nearly assaulted and robbed (held on a ?deserted farm hours outside of Mexico city all day, they took her debit cards to ATMs, took $$ etc…) and her boyfriend was stabbed. So I do come from a more guarded perspective.

    3. If I was her friend I would have been concerned she was lying dead somewhere. No way would I have left her there. I do agree that the girl’s mom needs to let her figure it out herself. Also the girl’s mom needs to have a talk with her daughter about safety and responsibility (like don’t get drunk and go off with men in a foreign country).

      1. or how about don’t get drunk and go off with men period? foreign men aren’t some other species of men.

        1. But most people are better at assessing risk within their own cultural context.

    4. As an old Marine friend of mine once said, “Don’t blow it out at night if you can’t turn up on time for PT the next morning.”

      We all make mistakes, especially at the “end of college” age, but daughter needs to own her mistakes. I would have made a best effort to find her, which it sounds like her friends did, but I certainly wouldn’t miss my international flight (which, worst case scenario, could end up costing a TON of money for the group…) to… wait around for her? Friend’s reaction is out of line. Baby girl is gonna have to grow up and take responsibility some day.

    5. First, daughter is an adult, and mom needs to stay out of her relationships with her friends. I totally agree with you on that.

      On what the friends should have done, it’s kind of fact specific. What I would do:

      -If I had no idea where my friend was, no, I would not get on a plane and leave the country.
      -If I knew she’d slept over with a guy she’d been hooking up with all week, I might leave, depending on how I felt about the guy and the situation. That’s really, really hard to judge from the outside.
      -If I left for the airport and knew before getting on the plane that she was okay, 100% I would leave her. It’s not that hard to figure out how to get on the next flight home.

      None of this depends, TBH, on whether it’s a foreign country or not. I wouldn’t get on a flight home from some place in the US if I had no idea where my friend was.

          1. Even as a college student where missing a flight could have put you into debt, factoring the friend’s past history of bad behavior?

          3. If I missed my flight because a friend was being irresponsible, I would expect friend to reimburse me for whatever extra cost I had to incur. Of course whether she pays up is a different issue.

          5. If she’s so awful that I didn’t care if she lived or died, then I wouldn’t be on vacation with her in the first place.

      2. I care a lot about my friends but in college and after I simply did not have enough money to risk missing my own flight home.

      5. I’ll add though, if, after I missed my flight for friend, it transpired that she was fine, just passed out with a dead phone, I’d be livid and I wouldn’t travel with her again.

    6. sounds like BS to me. your friend seems like she’s deflecting (blaming the friends) because her daughter is a wild-child

      we just had a comment thread like this earlier in the week about a party-animal ADULT friend. Sometimes you just can’t stop them. and in a group-setting like this, I feel pretty safe assuming that the girls-friends tried to persuade their wild-child friend to go back to the hotel. especially if she was brown-out drunk leaving with a dude in a foreign country. it’s a tough situation, but I’d assume the best of my daughter’s friends and instead focus attention on a serious talk with the daughter.

      1. Yep, sounds like OP’s friend is (maybe rightfully) freaked out by her daughter’s behavior and taking it out on her daughter’s friends.

    8. I’d have done the same thing as the friends unless I really thought something was amiss. It’s one thing if the party-hearty friend isn’t answering her phone or misses her plane after a week of similar behavior, but I’d be way more worried if the friend was generally prompt. If I’d been the sober friend, maybe I would have had the presence of mind to call the hotel staff and/or the police, but I’m not sure I’d have been that mature as a college kid with a plane to catch.

      If my kid had been the party kid, I’d be furious at my kid, but not at the friends. Why should the friends miss their flight and blow all that $$$ since my kid was being irresponsible? I know Bad Stuff can happen at resorts all over, but it’s still pretty unlikely and I doubt staying would have helped much even in a Bad Stuff situation.

    9. Would I stay behind now to make sure my friend was safe? Maybe, depends on a lot of factors.

      Would I have stayed behind when I was 22? Definitely not. I would not have had the money to change a flight and probably would have believed I/my friends were invincible – i.e. I would assume that nothing that bad was probably happening to my friend other than she overslept after drinking too much.

      The daughter’s friends acted as I would expect most 22-year-olds to react; not a lot of maturity all around. But your friend needs to focus on her daughter, not her daughter’s friends.

    10. Absolutely not. Also I wouldn’t want to be friends with a hot mess who missed her flight. Also also also none of this is your business but your friend is cray.

    11. I was involved in a similar situation the summer after I graduated from college. I was part of a six girl trip to Vegas and, inevitably, three girls decided they wanted to set the world record for nonstop partying. “The responsible ones” would call it a night around 3-4am….the others would save their sleep for the pool (and wake us up at 8am still drunk.) After the first night, we switched up the room assignments and closed the dividing door.

      My flight home was at 7am while the others were booked later that afternoon. I slipped out of the room early that morning as my roommates were sleeping and assumed the other three were still partying hard. When my flight landed, my voicemail was full of frantic calls looking for a girl from the party group. Apparently she hooked up with a guy and never came home. The others missed their flight in their search and when she was found safe, took the red eye home. (After paying substantial change fees.)

      Her mother was furious at me. How dare I leave Vegas when her daughter was missing…and I should have kept a better eye on her. My logic that she was likely not missing when I left fell on deaf ears. Our friendship pretty much ended after that trip.

        1. The girls checked out of the hotel and continued to search. (At 22, they were worried the hotel would charge for an additional night.) When missing friend tried to use her keycard to enter her room it had been de-activated. She went to the front desk to complain and they contacted the girl on the reservation.

  27. My favorite kind of shells/tops are the t-shirt cut in blouse fabric. Ann Taylor occasionally carries these and they fit me so well. I am desperate to find more, but have bought all the ones I could find on second-hand sites. I don’t want to say a polyester t-shirt, but basically that’s what it is on paper. They fit me well and are dressy enough for work or play.

    Does anyone else make this unicorn?

    1. Check out the Worthington Scoop Neck Short Sleeve Tee at JCPenny. The fabric is not phenomenal but they are so cheap and have washed really well.

  28. Just thought I’d remind any UK based folk that the Hobbs sale is still going on and has some really nice stuff it. It’s getting down to lucky sizes but they will try and source items from other stores.

    Also, if anyone is looking for ‘no show’ socks then I loooove a 5 pack available in Next. They look odd on the rail as they have a really deep scoop but they are totally invisible in my NB300s and have never slipped at all. £9 for 5 pairs I think.

  29. The advice for the above posters on hair has made me wonder if there is anything I can do to air dry my hair into a reasonably professional look.

    I have slightly below shoulder length fine, thin hair. It is wavy to quite curly underneath with wavy to pretty much straight pieces on top. I’ve tried only combing in shower, blotting with microfiber towel or tee shirt, adding leave in condition and styling cream and twisting into various braids or buns to dry but all this only makes the already curly parts super curly and the straighter parts slightly wavier. The textures don’t match. The curls are frizzy.

    I wish I could shower and let it dry overnight or as I commute to work. If I wash my hair at night and put in bun or braids, I have the aforementioned result. If I dry it, I wake up with a frizzy crazy mess – probably because it’s so fine. I even sleep on a silk pillowcase.

    I hate how much effort it takes me to style my hair and I’m tired of putting it into a wet bun and leaving it all day.

    1. I have fine hair with uneven texture and have given up on being able to let it air dry. The good thing is that my hair dries with a hair dryer very quickly because it is so fine…

      1. +1

        Also fine hair here.

        I have tried everything. I just have to wash it and dry it and put product in it every day. There is no other way.

        When I was young, I kept long straight hair and could get away with it. With aging, I had to cut it shorter or it looked…. not nice….. and it takes a lot of work and time and expense. I hate it.

    2. Have you tried Bumble & Bumble’s air dry product for fine hair? I think it’s called Don’t Blow It. It makes a big difference for my fine, mostly straight but sometimes frizzy hair.

    3. Have you tried a hooded hair dryer? If your hair is shoulder-length and fine it shouldn’t take that long. Mine is longer and on the thick side and it takes about 15-20 minutes. They’re more expensive than handheld but not as expensive as I had thought they would be, and much gentler heat-wise than a curling iron. I have a Babyliss one. They sell them on Amazon.

    4. Hi, I posted above about difficult wavy hair. I have the same issue you have. I “solved” it by showering at night, so I can touch up the goofy underside curls with a curling iron or straightener.

    5. I have fine wavy/curly hair, and clipping it at the root while it dries has helped immensely. Google it and watch some videos. Take some old school clips to basically give it volume. This helps prevent the length from weighing it down and making some parts look straight. I also have frizz/flyaways, and clipping it with some Deva Curl gel keeps the frizz down. Its been kind of life changing!

    6. Sounds like I may have a more extreme version of your hair: pin-straight at the front, looks like a damn poodle in the back. The only thing that’s ever enabled me to air dry it is Japanese permanent straightening.

      I just got a keratin treatment because I’m giving my hair a breather from the Japanese straightening chemicals and after my first wash the front hair sticks to my face and the back is just… lumpy unless I flatiron it. Not $300 well spent.

      The perm I had in Taiwan also worked by making it all wavy…

    7. I have hair similar to yours and I air dry it every day. My tricks: Towel dry vigorously. Like really get the water out, separate into sections and get in there with the towel. I then use Herbal Essences spray gel almost to the ends and sleek it down (either with just palm or very wide tooth comb) in whatever direction I want that day. It looks like a helmet at this stage. It takes about 15-20 min to dry from the gel. At that point I finger brush/ separate it which gives it shape and volume. All the strands then have the same texture, which is pretty straight towards the roots, slightly wavy towards the ends, and no frizz. Add other product as needed, which for me is just some putty at the front to keep it out of my eyes.

    8. I had similar hair (wavy particularly on the underside). I did a keratin treatment twice in the last 2 years, and even though it grew out, I do think it has impacted my hair texture and made it a bit straighter and less wavy. I’ve also grown out my hair more (so as not to cut off the keratin treated hair!) and the weight has helped straighten it out also.

  30. Mine does dry pretty fast but I still need to go over it with a curling iron to even out the texture. Especially with summer in full force I’d love to skip all the heat styling. Sigh. So envious of those women who breeze out of the house with air-dried hair!

  31. Do you think it’s rude or offensive if a partner asks you to be on a call with client but then clearly does not tell client that you are on the call (only introduces himself and another person)? This happened to me a few times when I was a junior associate in biglaw and I found it annoying but it happened this morning at my new firm where I’m a senior associate. I feel like it’s disrespectful and shows that they don’t value my work enough to tell the client that I’m there and contributing and obviously limits my ability to build a relationship with the client myself. Am I being too sensitive?

    1. yep (fact dependent obviously). most of the time my partner doesn’t want to be accused of double billing or having an associate on a call where you’re not needed. but he still wants me on the call.

      for me it’s not about the partner, it’s about the client

    2. Yes, this is fact dependent. Sometimes it is what “new job who dis” said. More often, it is purposefully intended to ensure that the partner feels self-important and communicates to you that you are NOT even though you are on the call because your assistance and ground-level knowledge are indispensable.

    3. If this is a partner you just started working with, it seems normal since he doesn’t really know you yet. It also doesn’t seem that surprising when 2 attorneys were announced on the call. 3 can (seem to) be over kill depending on the project.

    4. Hmm, I think you’d be too sensitive if you were still junior (I’m fairly junior and probably would just assume the client was sensitive to # of people billing). I think at the senior level it’s a more valid concern – presumably you should be getting more client contact, not being hidden in the background. Can you just hop on the call and introduce yourself before the partner does? Or offer to handle the call yourself next time?

      1. Please do not introduce yourself to a client “before the partner does”. Please – just don’t. It is a great way to ensure that you will never be allowed on such a call again. If you did that to me, it would be the last time you worked on one of my cases.

        As someone senior, I generally tell my client who is on the call because I want them to know who is in the room. Having said that, I do not necessarily want to introduce every client to every junior associate who comes and goes in my cases/firm. And I don’t want the client to think they could or should call junior associate with questions that junior associate has no business trying to answer. (And in a few cases, my clients are jerks and I don’t want them calling junior associate to scream when they are unhappy about something because junior won’t have the experience to shut that down.)

    5. Does client have billing guidelines for calls? Maybe he wants to have you sit in to get up to speed without explaining he won’t bill for your time?

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