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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 149 Comments · by

Thursday’s TPS Report: Marled Sweater Jacket

Fashion· The Personal Shopper (TPS)· Wear to Work | · · ·

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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Classiques Entier Sweater JacketOooh: I like. A lot. This Classiques Entier sweater jacket is the perfect blend of sweater and jacket, I think — it looks comfortable but still professional. Love the marled plum, the three buttons, the detailing/darts at the shoulder, and even the faux flap pockets. Even better, it's on sale: was $168 at Nordstrom, now marked to $99.90 (sizes XS, M, and XL still available this AM). Classiques Entier Sweater Jacket Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail editor@corporette.com with “TPS” in the subject line. (L-2)

Sales of note for 9.30.24

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

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Comments

  1. Madeline

    see, to me this is too casual for the office. I might have a different opinion on what “casual” is… but I wouldn’t be able to be confident wearing this at work.

    I adore the color!

    • anon

      Really? What kind of law office do you work in ?- question asked out of curiosity.

      It will definitely work in my law office. I am not sure about client meeting though.

    • middle-aged anon

      +1 – LOVE the color.

      Just from the picture, it would work in my office, but reading the reviews, the fabric’s probably not formal enough for me. And I’ve said this before about previous soft jackets but… that would look so pretty on my tweenage daughter. (At a lower price point.)

      • C2

        See my diatribe on this sweater below, but it bears repeating: actual color is nowhere near this lovely plum, it is much more of a muddy brown.

  2. Veronica

    Ohh, man, I’ve never been so tempted to order a TPS report item sight unseen. That looks great – mixed reviews on the site though. anyone seen it in person?

    • C2

      Yep, I ordered it the second it went on sale after stalking it for weeks — it is AWFUL in person. So disappointed. I expected it to be a substantial-weight, almost ponte kind of material, but it’s actually a super-thin shapeless mess. It’s a very thin knit and is rather translucent, PLUS the neck doesn’t sit right. In Nordstrom’s defense, if I had zoomed in, I would have seen that it is clearly a knit. In my defense, there is nothing remotely “tailored” about it. AND it’s less plum, more brown, in person, AND it’s kind of itchy. By far the worst item I’ve ever tried from CE, which is my go-to brand.

      That rant aside, if anyone wants to try for herself, I recommend going down a size just because it’s rather limp and boxy.

      • COS

        Thanks for that advice. I was going to order it online, but now I’m going to find time to go to the actual store itself. I LOVE CE, but if this is disappointing CE, it will be an even bigger letdown.
        I agree that it’s slightly casual for work but for $99 I’d wear it to dress up weekend jeans or pants.

      • E

        That sounds a lot like my experience with a similar item from a while back – the Nordstrom Classiques Entier “painted parsival” sweater. It looked so substanital and structured online but turned out to be a very loose, thin knit (and also happened to make my hips look enormous for some reason). Back it went.

      • Veronica

        Oh crap. I already ordered it. Well, thank heavens for Nordstrom’s amazing returns policy.

        • RKT

          Hmm. I bought the painted parsival in blue and, although it wasn’t heavily structured, it had enough shape and detail that it was fine for me. I am quite curvy, though, so it was really my shape it was showing — not its own…

    • kz

      I have that suit, or one very similar to it that I bought a year or two ago (though I gained a couple of pounds and it no longer quite fits… I need to get a larger skirt size). I liked the fit, and I’m pear shaped. However, I bought both the skirt and pants that went with it, and the pants shrunk a bit when I took them to the dry cleaners. They’re noticeably shorter and a little tighter. The skirt and the jacket seemed unaffected, so I’m not sure what the deal is with that.

      • kz

        uh, that was a reply to someone asking about a BR suit, not the TPS post. Their post seems to have disappeared. How strange.

      • Miriam

        I agree about the pants. I am very, very thin and had to buy the regular instead of the tall because they didn’t have a size small enough. The pants are now short and I can only wear them with flats. I’m only 5’8″.

      • anon

        How was the fabric? Was it light enough to wear in the summer? I have the hardest time finding true “tropical wool” that’ s light enough to wear in the summer, in our 90 degree/90+ humidity. I’ve had one wool suit that was light enough to wear on the hottest days (I mean, it wasn’t cool, but it wasn’t unbearable, like most wool), and I loved it, but it’s sadly worn out. I haven’t seen any summer weight wool in the stores around here, just linen, cotton (both of which wrinkle too much for me) and synthetics that are just too hot. Hate professional dressing in summer!

        • kz

          I mean, it depends on what you’re dressing for. I find the inside of basically every building to be way too cold in the summer because they all seem to feel the need to turn up the air conditioning to absurd levels. So a suit works just fine for me. I never commute wearing suit jackets in the summer (I just carry them with me), but the pants aren’t unbearably hot for the commute, and the skirt is obviously fine.

          • anon

            Our office is in a 80 year old 10-story brick building, and the air conditioning is a little iffy. It’s not really a problem just coming and going to work, it’s when I have to walk a block and a half to the courthouse that I suffer from the heat. I really hate to sweat, especially on my way to court. And by the time I get there and put my jacket on, I’m dying. I’ve been lobbying for an air conditioned golf cart that our runner can use to take us to court when needed, but so far the partners aren’t going for it.

          • anon

            Oh, and our courthouse is also an old building with iffy air conditioning. Just adds to the fun!

          • kz

            hm. It may not work for you, then. It’s not too hot, but it is lined, so it’s not super cool, either. Maybe try to find an unlined tropical wool?

            Or embrace seersucker for the summer:-)

    • zelda

      i am also 5’2″ and unfortunately even with tailoring i don’t think a regular BR suit would fit :( the bottoms could probably be tailored but unless you have a proportionally longer arms/torso, i would hold out for the petite.

      also! i bought a pencil skirt at BR last week and they are giving out coupons for 40% off one full-priced item on certain wednesdays… might be worth looking into?

    • Emily I

      I can’t speak to the petite aspect of your question, but I did buy a couple of BR suits after I had my 3rd baby. I usually have a pretty straight figure, but definitely had some “mild curves” (if you can call them that) after baby #3. The only downside to having lost the baby weight (and awesome nursing momma chest accessories that came with the baby) is that my favorite suits don’t fit anymore.

    • North Shore

      I’m 5’2″ and absolutely will not buy suits, pants, skirts, or long-sleeved shirts if they don’t come in petite sizes. I wish I had come to this realization earlier in life, as I would have saved a lot of money. Even after tailoring, regular-sized clothes just don’t look quite right on me — I think it has to do with proportions that can’t be fixed easily.

    • EG

      Yep, I bought the exact suit a couple week ago. I really like it, and it ran small on me. I’m usually a 6/8 in their sizing, and the 8 fit perfectly/border on a tad tight. I plan on losing weight in the next couple months, so I’m keeping it.

      I am not a petite (5’9, curves in hips but not up top), but since it ran a little tight I’d say it’d be worth a go.

    • WB

      I have this exact same suit. I am 5’6 and while a regular length works, the skirt is shorter than I prefer when I sit down. Definitely size up. I’m an 8/10 hourglass, and I had to size up to a 12 in the skirt and jacket to accommodate my derriere and bust. The pants run long- I can wear them with 3-4″ heels, but nothing shorter (but to be fair, I have not had them tailored or dry cleaned yet).

    • Janie

      My BR suit from Banana last summer also shrank at the cleaners – pant length and possibly overall jacket size. I can wear it only with flats now. Otherwise, it is great. If you get it, I recommend dry cleaning before alterations.

      • kz

        I’m glad I wasn’t the only one. I was sort of wondering if I was crazy because I wasn’t even sure dry cleaning could shrink things.

      • anon

        mine shrank at the cleaners too! so frustrating, the skirt is just too short now

    • rg

      I recently bought and returned a petite suit from BR. I’m definitely a short torso body type, so YMMV, but I found that the stance was much too low on the BR jacket. I am a bit shorter than you (5′), but I think I would have needed to be quite a bit taller to have the jacket fit properly (and this is for the petite). Overall, I’ve found that most of the mall brands (e.g. BR, AT, J. Crew) have made both their regular and petite lines on the longer side.

      My guess is that a regular will be too long…and it’s very difficult to have the kind of tailoring done that would raise the stance (expensive and will probably end up so-so). OTOH, if there’s free shipping, there’s no harm in ordering it and taking it to a tailor to see what they say. You can always return.

    • Hel-lo

      I have this suit, and it has shrunk a little bit. But overall, I love it and wear it all summer.

    • Confessions

      I have this suit too and I agree it runs small. I am also 5’2″ and went with the regular. I have a short torso, but a large chest so the regular provides better coverage. Even though, classically I should be in petite, I prefer regular, the seat just fits better for me. Also, if you have a BR Luxe card altering the hem on the pants is free.

  4. AtlantaAttorney

    Love the look, definitely not too casual for our law office. I picture it worn with a black skirt or black pants and heels. BUT, the color screams “fall” to me, and I want spring clothes!

    • Elle21

      Wearing it with a light grey bottom might make it more “springy.”

      Although, keep in mind that this suggestion is coming from someone who wears her winter clothes all year round due to excessive air conditioning in the summer…

  5. C.

    Early threadjack:

    I’m looking for a useful gift–preferably a book–for my workstudy student, who will be heading to law school in the fall.

    She works in my department at a mid-sized publishing firm, and when previous workstudies have graduated, we’ve tried to get them a relevant book; last year’s student, for instance, who wanted to go into publishing herself, got a lovely potted orchid and a copy of the Chicago Manual of Style. Is there some text that might be equally handy for a first-year law student? Or, in the absence of a useful book, some other gift that might be equally worthwhile?

    Thanks in advance!

    • AIMS

      I am not a fan of the “first year” books personally, but you could always get her/him The Paperchase or one of those what-you-need-to-know-your-first year.

      Along more practicle lines, you could also get a paperback ed. of Black’s Law Dictionary (I found it very useful to look up terms first year, esp. first semester when professors love to put you on the spot as to what means what), or get a BlueBook (like the Chicago Man of Style for lawyers).

    • Elle21

      Black’s Law Dictionary (Although you run the risk that she may already have a copy. )

      Alternatively, perhaps a great portfolio/padfolio.

      • Veronica

        A word of caution – as a first year associate, I have still never opened my Black’s Law Dictionary.

        • Elle21

          Admitedly, I don’t use mine often but it’s a required resource. But it does look pretty on my shelves in my office.

      • Miriam

        Please do not get her the Black’s Law Dictionary. I would want something law school related, but somewhat fun. I got a nice pen with my name engraved. I love it!

    • Tired Squared

      If you’re looking for something “handy,” then the Blue Book would be good, since we use that in legal research/writing classes and also in journal stuff. http://www.legalbluebook.com/Purchase/Products.aspx

      If you’re looking for something a little more on the “fun” side, a Starbucks gift card would be good too. Law school did terrible terrible things to my (and other students’) caffeine addiction(s).

    • AnonInfinity

      I loved “Law School Confidential.” A lot of people in my class also liked “Getting to Maybe,” but I never read that one. The first one is about the law school experience as a whole and the second is about essay writing in particular. One of my professors actually recommended reading “Eats, Shoots and Leaves” to all incoming students. That was a good one, too, but it isn’t only aimed at law students.

      A lot of the other useful books are more like study aids that might make an odd going away type present. If you want to get one of those, though, my favorite was “Acing Civil Procedure.”

      I just bought a book called “Point Made” about legal writing in practice, but that might be a little too advanced for an entering law student. It’s a really good read, though. The author’s style is very engageing and he gives lots of really well-written and interesting examples.

      • MelD

        Ooh, I love Eats, Shoots and Leaves. I’d avoid those Law School Confidential-type books. I think something more general or a Blue Book would be the best option. The time before law school is the last time you’ll have to read something fun for a while, so why stress yourself out about law school before you even get there?

        • AnonInfinity

          Good point.

          I am a compulsive worrier, but somehow reading all of those books helped me calm down a little because I felt like I was doing something to prepare myself for what was ahead.

          • Boston atty

            This. Loved Law School Confidential. Helped me transfer to a great school.

        • Emily I

          Agreed. I don’t think I would have liked to received a book that was going to freak me out about lawsuit as a gift just before going to lawsuit. If the person wants to pick one up on her own, great. But I wouldn’t want to give it to her. It would seem to say, “Hey, I think you’re making a huge mistake!”

          I got my husband a leather bound Blacks for college graduation. He didn’t really use it, but it looks nice on his office shelf now.

          • Emily I

            Oh, and the Justice I clerked for had all of his clerks read “Elements of Style.” That’s a classic!

          • Consultant in NoVA

            Yes. Everyone, regardless of profession, should have a copy of the Elements of Style.

    • K

      Just don’t get her Scott Turow’s 1L. I’m a 4th year associate now and I still have nightmares about that book which my uncle gave me as a pre-law school gift.

      I think Black’s law dictionary is a very good traditional “heading off to law school” book. I might also suggest something like The Nine or The Brethren about the US Supreme Court.

        • s-p-s

          Second that – Bryan Garner’s amazing. Something like “The Elements of Legal Style” help lawyers avoid clunky “legalese,” so it’s great to read a book like this before or during law school.

    • fresh jd

      She’ll have enough books to read very soon…

      My suggestion is to sponsor her student membership to the American Bar Association, another national legal association, or the local bar association near her school. I benefited a lot from attending their seminars, conferences and networking events and would’ve liked to have avoided paying the fees/dues.

    • Anonymous

      There are books about “how to succeed in law school” that are very useful and not designed to freak out an incoming student with the pressures and nightmares of first year studies, like 1L and Law School Confidential. Instead, they present some good rules for how to study and manage time, how to respond to an exam essay, how to read and brief a case, interviewing, etc. (There are a number on Amazon.) I wish I had had one to read in the weeks before starting school. These are especially useful if the student-to-be does not have (supportive) law school grads in her life to give her the “unwritten rules” of law school. I always thought I was at an unfair disadvantage to those whose fathers/brothers/sisters were law grads.
      I provide the caveat of “supportive” because I did have a recent grad in my life at the time, and all he gave me was bad advice, horror stories and lectures about how I would never succeed and get a high-paying job (way before the job market fell out). I think in hindsight it was because he was intimidated by the school I was going to be attending and the possibility I was going to do better than he had, but that is neither here nor there. (He ran right before I started school and right before he failed the bar!) Today, she is, understandably, likely to run into lots of cautionary tales, but those are not so useful now that she has made her decision.

    • Almost-Lawyer

      I read a book before starting law school called “Becoming Justice Blackmun” that was REALLY good and inspiring- it’s written by Linda Greenhouse, who basically devoted her career to researching the Supreme Court.

      I am not a fan of books that try to scare people about law school– law school is scary enough on its own!

    • lawtalkinggirl

      Planet Law School is the best book for people going to law school. Or, get her Examples & Explanations Civil Procedure. Those are the best study guides out there and this will give her a leg up in what I think was the hardest first year class. I got a Black’s dictionary before law school and never cracked it. Thoughtful gift, but not one I used.

    • Elle21

      I don’t know what’s out there, but what about a great biography of a reputable legal figure? Perhaps, a SCOTUS justice? Former president? etc…

    • TCFKAG

      Is she moving to a new city? Maybe she’d like a guide to her new city. Or if she has some other interest, maybe something related to that. Or a cook-book with “easy” meals and a gift card to a nice grocery store near her new place (you have no idea how hard it is to feed yourself well during your first year of law school).

      Here’s the reason — when you start law school, it takes over your whole life and its all you can think about. It might be nice if you gave her something that would help her have fun outside law school (maybe some free passes to a local museum or a gift certificate for theater tickets — something like that). Also, a lot of those “how to be a law student” books are kind of stress-inducing and lead to obsessive first year students…

      Those are my ideas anyway!

    • Batgirl

      My two cents: I got a Black’s Law from co-workers when I went off to law school and never opened it once. Didn’t even save it for my shelves. I can’t imagine using it now, either. As for One L or the Paper Chase, I agree with some others here that that will just scare her.

      I didn’t have any time to read for fun my 1L year so I would suggest giving her gift cards to food places (Starbucks, Panera, etc) since she’ll likely be pretty broke, too. Nothing stressed me out more than being broke AND having no free time. Alternatively, you could get her a gift card for a mani/pedi or massage–something relaxing.

      • meme

        I actually used my Black’s Law Dictionary all the time in law school (res ipsa what?), and still crack it open rather frequently. Perhaps I’m just a dictionary type of gal though.

    • Bonviva

      Get her a book called “Typography for Lawyers: Essential Tools for Polished and Persuasive Documents.” It’s available through Amazon or on the website typographyforlawyers dot com.

    • 2L NYC

      I read The Nine before coming to law school and LOVED it. Plus it gives you something to talk about, and doesn’t freak you about law school at all.

      I also liked Getting to Maybe, but it is kind of a book that you use to do work that may not be ideal as a present.

    • Bunkster

      How about a bag or case for her laptop? If she doesn’t have one already, she’ll need one for school.

      I just got a laptop and swore I wouldn’t spend over $20 for the bag, but then couldn’t resist this one:
      http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000S5BFXS

      It comes in 4 color combos and different sizes.

  6. AIMS

    Very pretty, although I don’t find mandarin colars to be very flattering on me.

    Don’t think it looks too casual, except that I do think marled fabric has a tendency to look casual more than others, so maybe it would look different in person (kind of like a “french terry” jacket may look fine in a pic and then you find you are essentially wearing a sweatshirt blazer) . . .

  7. Legally Brunette

    Anyone else become bored with Classiques Entier stuff? It’s still my go to brand for work clothes, but I’m not loving their clothes lately. The jackets are way too short and I’m really bored with all of their mesh shirts. It’s still good quality but I wish CE would mix things up a little.

  8. somewherecold

    I remember someone was looking for a maxi dress that wasn’t strapless or v-neck. Ideeli has some BCBG dresses that are high neck (and some strapless, one shoulder, v, etc.) going on sale today if you’re still looking. There’s a long black dress, and some nice prints.

    • Lawgirl

      @somewhere cold: I’m with you. Waiting with my finger on the trigger for the iDeeli sale today!

      • somewherecold

        I am actually thinking about buying one of the wedding dresses. I have a dress that I ordered a size up so it would get here faster, and I’m seriously doubting whether alterations can come through. I have an appointment with the seamstress during lunch, so we’ll see. I don’t want to be that girl who buys two wedding dresses.

          • somewherecold

            I’m not so into the big wedding thing, and I never saw myself as searching for “the one” perfect dress, which is kind of what I think of when I think of having two dresses. It wouldn’t be the end of the world. I also feel like once I start looking for a second dress, it will just be hard to find something, since I will always think “well is this really that much better than #1,” and I don’t have loads of time (or the inclination) to shop around. I just got back from the seamstress, though, and she can take it in and I think it will be ok.

  9. SS

    I’m 5’5 and I always get BR suits in size 2, no tailoring needed anywhere, so you might be able to swing it, although I am thinking the sleeves would definitely need to be shortened.

  11. JCC

    I love this, but the totally inconsistent reviews make me nervous — it’s either a total piece of crap or the greatest thing ever.

  12. LE

    Why do designers think women look good with their wrists sticking out of jackets? I get 3/4 sleeves, I really do, but on jackets, if you have thin arms, this looks like Olive Oyl.

    • Lyssa

      I totally agree. Plus, as a cold natured person, I find that when I get 3/4 sleeves, I just don’t wear them, unless they can go under a blazer or sweater. Otherwise, it’s either too hot or too cold 95 percent of the year.

    • Bonnie

      I’m actually thinking of hemming the sleeves on a jacket to 3/4. I always find myself pushing up the sleeves so like shorter sleeves on casual suits and jackets. And by casual I mean things I’d wear to court but not for trial.

      • Hel-lo

        Me too. I’m always rolling or folding up my cuffs when I’m typing, washing my hands, or eating.

        My wrists are always exposed. (No risk of looking like Olive Oyle, though. I have delicate wrists, but that’s pretty much the only part that’s delicate.)

    • somewherecold

      Agreed. I have thin arms that are really long (as in, wingspan longer than height), and I feel ridiculous wearing 3/4 sleeve jackets.

    • SoCal Gal

      I like them, but then, I live in Los Angeles. They’re perfect for this climate.

  13. LE

    Oh, and threadjack: why is it so hard to find a non-frumpy, true navy pants suit? I have looked high and low and nothing is right. I would like BR to make one (their stuff fits me well), but they do black, beige, gray. I found some at Macy’s, but they have shrunken jackets (doesn’t work for a woman with a short waist) or are double breasted (ugh).

  14. Exit Stage Left

    Threadjack:

    Later on today I have an “exit interview” with someone with whom I had an internship. I quit the internship after a very short period of time because of a horrible combination of (what I consider to be) bad business practices, major personality clashes, and (objectively) ethical violations. Is there anything special about legal exit interviews? The only ones I’ve been on were when I worked in retail, where I turned in my badge and vest and told them I quit because the store down the street paid me more – 3 minutes, max. My gut feeling is that if I’m there for 10 minutes, I’m there 2 minutes too long, but I’m not sure how realistic that is (this persons’ lack of ability to hear anyone else talk aside from him/herself notwithstanding). Am I required to spell out reasons or can “It just didn’t work out” be sufficient? Thoughts? Thanks!

    • E

      Oh no! You do not need to spell out the reasons, nor should you. I think “it just wasn’t the right fit” is the most you should say. If you have anything positive to say, say that first. No need to burn bridges more than you have already. As awful as this place was, you never know when and where you’ll run into these people again.

      • JMC

        I would also be careful if you are in law school, because they will have to write something for you as part of your character and fitness exam. Even though it sounds like they acted terribly, you might be better off saving yourself the grief (at least in the exit interview) of dealing with a crappy submission to the bar examiners.

        • Exit Stage Left

          I thought about this when deciding when to bow out. I’m already out of law school, and I wasn’t there long enough to put the ‘internship’ on another bar application (I checked). So unless the person gets ahold of my bar application, remembers me, and brings to light how the ‘internship’ isn’t on there, I think I’m safe. I’m in the process of documenting everything just to be on the safe side, though. Phew!

    • anonymous

      If I were in that organization I’d like to know about what’s wrong – which, after all, is the point of exit interviews. You’ll have to judge based on who you’re talking to, but I would at least say something in as positive a way as possible about how you think the business practices and ethical issues could be addressed differently.

    • Anonymous

      They didn’t listen to you before, they certainly won’t start now. Say the nicest things you can think of and try not to throw up in your mouth.

  15. Bunkster

    Sort of threadjack, but just because the deal ends today…

    I’m sure others have recommended the Gap premium pants. There my go-to nice tailored wear-to-work pants: http://www.gap.com/browse/category.do?cid=57240

    Anyway, Gap currently has an online 30%off regular clothes/15% off sale clothes deal that ends today. The code is GAPLOOK. The pants are $59 regularly, but $41 with the deal.

    And I can’t recommend the pants enough. I already have the black and the grey in the curvy fit. And today I bought the same colors in the perfect trousers.

    • PollyD

      I love the curvy fit pants – they are the only pants I’ve found lately that fit in the hips/thighs but are not too big in the waist. Wish they came in more colors.

    • somewherecold

      Thanks for posting. I have the bootcut in grey, so maybe I’ll pick up a pair in navy, which seems like it could be useful.

  17. Secretly bummed out

    Not at all wardrobe related, but today is my birthday and my husband has completely forgotten. He’s working out of town this week (what else is new?) and hasn’t called/texted/emailed or sent a card or gift. I’m not a big bday person and don’t expect much, but acknowledgement would be nice.

    Also, I’m super tired (and therefore a little extra emotional/crabby) because I had what I consider to be the most excruciating interview in history yesterday. 12 hours total – 6 driving, 6 interviewing at 4 different offices with 31 people. Yes, that’s right. 31. So tonight, instead of going out for a nice bday dinner with my husband, I get to write 31 thank you emails and then sit and wait one more week for a decision.

    Sorry to be a down and outsie, but I can’t concentrate on much else today, so I thought I would vent.

    • E

      Aww, sorry about that. Wish I knew you in person so I could shoot off an email to your hubby and remind him!

      Sending you lots of birthday wishes!!!!

      And good luck with the job. Fingers crossed for you.

    • Caroline

      For what it’s worth, SBO: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! And congrats on getting what sounds like a pretty serious interview. Fingers crossed for happy news!

      And, at the very least, you should take *yourself* out to celebrate. Anywhere nearby you could drop in for a little birthday shopping/mani-pedi/latte pampering? You totally deserve it!

    • somewherecold

      Happy birthday! And get yourself some pampering…shopping, wine, spa, whatever makes you smile and feel good.

    • s-p-s

      Happy birthday!! So sorry to hear about the situation – I’m sure that your husband will feel terrible once he’s realized that he’s forgotten. Maybe you could casually text something like “looking forward to celebrating this birthday with you when you’re back in town – hope that work’s going well!” or something along those lines. Not ideal, but at least that should clue him in and open the door for him to plan something – or share plans that he’s already made – and brighten your day.

    • Hel-lo

      That super sucks, lady! Come to my city. We can drink wine, get pedis, go shopping to our hearts’ content, and laze around on the couch with takeout.

      Or, shit, you could do that on your own. You deserve some pampering. Thankyous can wait till Monday.

    • Bonnie

      Men can be idiots. It took me a long time to realize that they’re not mean-spirited but they just really don’t remember things like birthdays. That doesn’t mean that it still doesn’t hurt. Remind him, e.g. send him a text that you’re taking yourself out for a birthday pedicure or drink. Happy birthday and good luck with the interview!

    • Elle21

      The day is young. Maybe he’ll come through for you later today.

      Happy birthday!

    • eb

      Aw, happy birthday! Take yourself out for a treat tonight, or go out with a girlfriend for a drink or dinner. Hope the excruciating interview process at least turns into something positive for you :)
      I agree that reminding your husband about your birthday is probably a good idea since some people never think of these things at all. My dad is really bad at this – after 30 years of marriage I’m pretty sure he still has no clue when my mom’s bday is.

    • Secretly bummed out

      Thanks for the bday wishes, everyone. Unfortunately, I have a small child at home so I can’t go for drinks or a pedi tonight, but my bff is coming over and bringing dinner, so that will brighten my day! Husband finally called at 1:15. He didn’t forget, he was just “too busy.” (as if that should make me feel better. ugh.)

      So, do I really have to write thank yous to all 31 people? Or could I just write it to the 5-6 main people (1-2 at each location) and the hiring manager who coordinated it?

      • Eponine

        He’s probably under a lot of stress if he’s the sole income earner right now. Try not to be too upset at him, but I know it’s a bummer. At least he didn’t forget.

        I think a thank you to the main people asking them to send your regards to the others is fine.

  18. Anonymous

    Happy birthday! Yesterday sounds like it sucked — at least it’s over!

    Unasked for advice: You have every right to be pampered today, so ask for it! If your husband’s forgotten (as mine is wont to do), wouldn’t it be better to tell him you had a rough day yesterday and today is your birthday, so wouldn’t he like to treat you extra nice today? I’m sure he will respond with love and kisses.

  20. lalalala

    Feeling super down :(
    I was recently offered a job at an overseas office of a very large, well-reputed international company and it was only after receiving an offer from the firm that they found out that I might require a minor ‘accommodation’ within the workplace on account of disability (no disclosure was required during the interview process and there was no in-person interview). Out of the blue I have now been called in to meet someone from the firm who works in my current location of residence and I am sure I am going to be watched/scoped out/have people beadily scrutinize me. I am starting to feel terribly insecure about it all. :( Worried I might be told they don’t want me anymore.

    • AT

      What exactly did they tell you when they contacted you for this local meeting? Is there any reason to expect that the offer might be rescinded? Let’s look on the bright side — maybe they just want to meet with you to suss out what they will need to do to make sure that your transition is seamless and that you are fully accommodated once you arrive!

  21. Summer in the City

    Ladies, I need help.

    My BF and I are graduating from law school after this year and I have no idea what an appropriate law school graduation gift is for a guy. I already know he’s getting a nice portfolio from someone so thats out of the question. He also dislikes cufflinks so thats out. I want to get something that is a nice keepsake but I just don’t have any other ideas and don’t know how much you’re supposed to spend on this stuff! If it helps we met the first week of law school and have been dating ever since.

    TYIA!

    • AIMS

      In my experience, if you both graduate (esp. from the same school) at the same time, no present is required. It seems silly, e.g., if you both get each other a nice portfolio or a diploma fram or whatever generic stuff people give on such occasions, no? When my s.o. and I graduated, we did not exchange gifts (unless you count a weekend away together as a gift, but I think of it more as just a plan).

      But, if you are so inclined, you can certainly get him a nice business card case, or a money clip, or a nice tie to wear for graduation. These could all be really boring presents in the abstract — so know your guy and figure out what he needs (e.g., is his wallet on his last legs? does he own a “fancy” tie yet? maybe he is really into nice pens?) Or — take a different tack altogether — get some kind of momento of your time (and romance) in law school. Maybe something that relates to a private joke or some other reminder of when you first started and first met.

      Congrats on graduating!

    • Eponine

      Tie, business card holder, fancy pen (men love fancy pens!), engraved paperweight, diploma frame.

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