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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 156 Comments · by

Thursday’s TPS Report: Shetland Wool Plaid Skirt

The Personal Shopper (TPS) | · · ·

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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Brooks Brothers Shetland Wool Plaid SkirtThis time of the year is always a great time to stock up on classic, timeless items that are now on deep discount simply because the weather is getting warmer. Take this skirt, for example: it’s never going to be an exciting skirt, but it’s made of good materials (Shetland wool, lined in Bemberg), and is a flattering A-line cut — the kind of thing you’ll wear for probably as long as it fits you. It was $168 at Brooks Brothers — but it’s currently marked down to $67.20 (sizes 6-16 still available). Shetland Wool Plaid Skirt Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail editor@corporette.com with “TPS” in the subject line. (L-2)

Workwear sales of note for 12.6.23

Our favorites are in bold!

Some of our latest posts here at Corporette…

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

About Kat

Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  1. Lyssa

    I do think that this skirt is really cute, and a great bargain. BUT, it’s the kind of skirt that I would buy and think I loved, but never be able to find more than a couple of shirts that would work with it.

    What shirts would you wear with this? Particularly, what would you wear with it if your torso is such that almost nothing works tucked in?

    • Monday

      I’d do this with a button-up and a sweater vest over it–but that would require tucking for the button-up. (I’d also wear boots with this, definitely a fall/winter look.)

      • Diana Barry

        Like the vest suggestion, although I might try it in a tweed or grey suiting fabric (if I could find one!).

      • Jay

        The vest suggestion makes me think of a school uniform. My problem with skirts like this is that I always feel like I look like a schoolgirl.

    • AIMS

      I have a somewhat similar skirt, and I usually just pair it with a sweater or buttoned up cardigan. Black, gray, blue, or even a nice shade of dark grassy green could all work. I would also do boots (black, flat or low heel, of the riding variety), but might switch them out for heels while at the office. Depending on how everything fit/hung, it might also look cute with a longer boyfriend type cardigan, open, with a pretty plain tee underneath. I would probably do those in black and with black boots and a longer necklace, to de-preppy-fy the look a bit.

      • PollyD

        I think a deep teal or maybe even yellow (deep, not pastel) would work. Or purple! I’ve totally drunk the What Not to Wear Kool-Aid of any color goes with neutrals.

    • K

      I totally sympathize on the short torso. I tend to wear sweaters to avoid having to tuck anything in. I have short sleeve, 3/4 sleeve, and long sleeve in varying weights and all kinds of colors which I could happily wear with this skirt in all kinds of weather. Black, pink, blue, cream, etc. If you are a twinset type person, those would go well with this too. If it’s too stodgy that way, go with some statement jewelry and/or hot boots (if your office allows, mine does).

          • Nonny

            That would be my go-to for this skirt (speaking as someone with a short torso myself). In fact, turtleneck and skirt is basically my casual winter uniform.

    • Eponine

      Yeah, I have a similar skirt that I thought was classic, and I almost never wear it. I just can’t get it to work with most of my tops.

    • Anonymous

      I would style this skirt with a maroon or turquoise v-neck sweater, black tights, black boots, and gold jewelry.

    • Emily I

      Have to agree, unfortunately. Although, if it were very, very flattering, it would be worth buying.

  4. CW

    There was an interesting article on Slate yesterday that I thought people might be interested in, given the previous discussions of gender issues. http://www.slate.com/id/2291198/

    It discusses the “anxiety gender gap” (women are 2x more likely to be prone to anxiety), and questions whether this gender gap is attributable to nature vs. nurture.

  5. AC

    I’m sure this is well made, but it screams second grade teacher to me. Maybe if it came in a solid.

      • shrink

        Actually, I avoid plaids like the plague…worn a lifetime of them in parochial school. However, I could see you could un-stuff it with tights and boots, a turtleneck in a nice color that flatters you (yes, untucked if you like or if it’s ribbed at the bottom), and then a great leather jacket or sweater with leather trim. Then a different color of chunky/statement necklace. Of course, I’m in a more creative field. But then, you’d have not so stuffy a look. Thinking of purples or blues or deep rich rose to offset the traditional I-wear-black/grey-white-red sort of thing.

        Happy continued Holy Week, Passover, and whatever else you would like to celebrate. How about spring in the North and some rains down here to Texas?

  6. Cat

    Of all the sale items at BB this week, I would not have picked this one – hard to pair anything with, and I think this one has crossed the line from “timeless” to “timeless in the sense that old ladies have been wearing this consistently for 60 years.”

    Here’s my skirt pick from the sale section (with a space before the “com” to avoid moderation): http://www.brooksbrothers. com/IWCatProductPage.process?Merchant_Id=1&Section_Id=539&Product_Id=1475445&Parent_Id=314&default_color=BLACK&sort_by=&sectioncolor=&sectionsize=

    • Cat

      Eh, that didn’t work as well as planned. In any event, it’s the “Wool Textured Straight Skirt,” still available in 2, 4, 8, 10, 12.

      • AIMS

        There are some great basics in that sale! I also love the shoes on sale (the croc heel pumps are in my cart as we speak) . . . For anyone who needs a tote bag, the Crocodile Tote Bag ($139, down from $348) is gorgeous in person. Like seriously drool-worthy.

        • Cat

          I have the croc heel pumps in two colors – brown and gray suede. SO comfortable for the height. I have them both in my usual size, but the suede ran a bit big so if you are between sizes I’d size down.

          • AIMS

            I was thinking of getting the leather ones. So glad to hear they are comfortable! Thanks :)
            Now, I am just worried that I will ruin the snakeskin heel in a grate somewhere, but I think it’s just too good a deal to pass up and I always need black pumps for work/going out.

          • AIMS

            The website pic doesn’t do it justice! The leather feels absolutely incredible and it looks so much more expensive that it is (or even was).

        • SF Bay Associate

          I’ve been eyeing the Croc-toe Mary Janes for a while – they look so stable and great for being in court all day (under pants).

          • Charmed Girl

            Bonnie–
            Just bought it– I had been eyeing it all winter and so thrilled that it’s now on sale!

            Got the red color and it’s beautiful. The leather is really soft.

            I’m very happy with it.

            Also, got the navy flats with the bamboo toggle. Very cute. Since I pretty much only wear flats, wanted some nice looking ones.

    • Anon-ee-mouse!

      Agreed. For whatever reason, when I see today’s skirt, I think of that plaid dress that Charlotte had to wear for one of her weddings in Sex and the City.

  7. Associette

    No thank you! This skirt is not fashionable (even if the price is right). It reminds me of what Anne Hathaway wore in the Devil Wears Prada pre-makeover.

  8. Omega

    Thread hijack –

    Those of you who exercise with your iPhone…where do you put it? Most of my work out clothes don’t have pcokets. Do you hold it in your hand or get an arm band – seems like it would be pretty bulky to have in an armband…

    • Elle21

      I tuck my iPod nano in my sportsbra (I have a little bag-type thing that it goes in to protect it from sweat). Might work for an iPhone too. It’s admittedly not the most attractive look, but that shouldn’t matter when you’re working out….

      • kz

        Also, the description doesn’t mention anything about it, but the one I have has a slot in the back to put a key.

    • EC MD

      I have an iPhone, but have switched to using the cheapest ipod shuffle ($49) for working out. I just load up the specific music list I want and go. I found running with the iphone was too cumbersome.

    • Livia

      I have an armband too. It works great, and minimizes any possibility of your sweat getting inside the phone and damaging it.

      On that note, why can clothing designers not make women’s clothing with pockets? I resent this so much I can’t tell you, in work-out and regular clothing. I notice it especially when I am playing tennis and never have anywhere to put extra balls in work-out shorts. Argh.

      • soulfusion

        this is my pet peeve as well and so I make a conscious effort to buy shorts/shirts/jackets with pockets but inevitably when I am close to laundry day, I have nothing left with pockets. But my armband does have a little slot for a key and I often tuck some money in behind the phone so one more advantage to running with it!

      • kz

        that drives me insane, as well. I make a point to seek out shorts with pockets, and it is annoyingly hard. Why do clothing designers think men are the only ones who need to put things in their pockets while working out?

        • MelD

          I bought a New Balance shirt that had a pocket and some ties inside so your keys would not fall out when running- genius. Usually when I’m out walking around the neighborhood, most of the women I see are holding phones, iPods, keys, you name it, while all the men have everything in pockets. I’ve gotten quite a few Adidas shorts/capris that have pockets too.

    • soulfusion

      I use an armband for my iphone when I’m running and I feel weird when I run without it. I love the Nike+ GPS app for keeping track of my runs so I rarely run without it. I really didn’t notice much of a difference from when I ran with my much smaller ipod in an armband (forget what it was called but not the shuffle). The band I have is wearing out a bit so I might look into the one linked below to see if it is a bit more sturdy.

  9. newborn present

    Any advice on what to get parents of a newborn? This couple is very well off and doesn’t need anything, but I’d like to get them something awesome to welcome their new addition.

      • Eponine

        Holy crap this is hilarious. I wish I’d known about this a week ago when I went shopping for the umpteenth baby shower of the year.

        • Anonymous

          This is perfect for my best friend’s birthday!!!

          Thanks so much, could not figure out what to get for her!

      • kz

        That is hilarious. It reminds of Mad Men where Don Draper’s 8 year old daughter is always fixing him cocktails.

        • shrink

          On a professional note, I love:

          Your Child At Play by Marilyn Segal….

          and

          Your Baby and Child (series by one year at a time, classic) by Ames & Ilg of the Gessell Institue.

          A boppy for mom

          Clothes – in older sizes, babies grow so fast!

    • Elle21

      – Game of Life with a card stating spin the wheel and add a blue or pink peg.
      – Collection of children’s books.
      – Diapers.
      – Gift certificate for cleaning service (although, well-off couple may already have this) or restaurant delivery
      – Engraved momento (e.g. silver baby plate, or nice piggy bank. These types of gifts are completely useless, but I am sentimental and enjoy as an adult those things that were given to my parents when I was a baby.)
      – Gift certificate for photographer to take photos of adorable newborn.

    • Eponine

      Books, toys. We got my baby cousin an enormous (like, enormous) Mickey Mouse doll and that was a huge hit. They took his picture with it every few months until he was as tall as it at age 6 or so. I normally get some classic children’s books for my well-off friends – it’s not something parents of a newborn usually have already, but they like to keep them around and will use them later. Goodnight Moon, The Runaway Bunny, Peter Rabbit, etc.

      • kellyn

        I second the book recommendation! And, a gift certificate to diapers.com. You never know when you’ll run out of diapers, and they ship overnight or two day standard, I think.

        • ks

          I have a list of about a half dozen books that were my daughter’s favorites when she was a toddler/young girl – I like to give new parents a selection of these – with a note about why I chose these particular titles. Makes it even a little more personal.

          • Emily I

            I thought I was being so original with my gift – books that have been my kids’ favorites. Great minds, I suppose!

      • recently preggers

        I did not have Sophie with my first, but my dad sent it for my 6 mo old daughter at Chirstmas this year. I thought it was weird and didnt get it. BUT IT WAS THE BIGGEST HIT — she loved it and cant stop chewing on that funny little Giraffe. I now see her everywhere.

    • rg

      I third the suggestion for a collection of children’s books.

      I also like to get something like a really cute Gund bear. Like books, teddy bears don’t usually get handed down, and if it’s super cute then you can’t really have too many ;)

      Also, if like me you can’t resist adorable baby clothes, then get clothes that are for a slightly older child (say 12 or 18 mos). My sister falls into the “have everything” category, but shopping for clothes with a baby is still difficult regardless of your means. Most new parents tend to get flooded with one-sies and newborn items, but they don’t often have clothes for when the baby is slightly older (but still hard to shop with).

      • Kay

        Agree on the clothes for older kids. If you go this route, please make sure you buy seasonally appropriate clothes though. You’d be amazed how many people bought us 6-9 month winter clothes for our January baby.

        • Emily I

          Ditto on the seasonally appropriate. I tend to stay away from clothes period – we got soooo many newborn clothes (which my large children never wore) and the people who bought us larger sizes guessed wrong with the season because my kids grew so darn fast. (That is, my 3 month old wore 6-9 month sized clothes, and he was wearing size 2T on his first birthday.) It’s pretty hard to predict sizes for some freakish families like mine!

    • bhtsmama

      Definitely books! Nice editions of classics like Make Way for Ducklings or Madeline are keepsakes as well as things the kiddo will enjoy as s/he grows – if you had particular childhood favorites, it’s nice to write a note about your memories of reading them, and you could also get personalized bookplates or a stamp for the little one to start his/her library. It’s also a nice way to support what may sadly be a dying art – there was an article in the NYT a few months back about how with all the early learning pressure these days, kids aren’t reading picture books anymore.

    • MelD

      It sounds like they’ve already had the child and probably have everything they need. Why not get them something they can do for themselves- like a gift certificate for a nice dinner?

    • Francie Nolan

      I got a time capsule for the first year. ( http://www.timecapsule. com/) It included invites for the babies first birthday explaining to the inviteesthat they are going to fill Baby’s Time Capsule with memorabilia from the day and year of their child’s birth and to write a letter to the baby.

      The best part is now my daughter has a letter from relatives that have since passed away and I know that when she reads them they will mean so much to her.

    • kz

      A teddy bear. I am not ashamed to admit (ok, well, maybe a little) that the teddy bear someone gave me for my first birthday still sits on my bed.

    • Diana Barry

      I always get new parents a Halo sleep sack. We used (and still use, for the 15 month old) ours every single day – keeps baby warm and snuggly, no blankets, and is very cute. Hanna Andersson always has a nice one with a cute lamb or bear or something on it. I get the 6-12 month size; people always give tiny clothes and it is nice to have something for later on.

      • academicsocialite

        I can’t believe I never noticed this before, but I love your handle. Raspberry cordial anyone?

    • Anonymous

      Can I offer an alternative point of view on stuffed animals? When my boys were babies and young children, they received many, many stuffed animals as gifts. But they weren’t stuffed-animal kinds of kids and aside from one or two, the rest basically ended up as clutter. And stuffed toys can be difficult to donate because many organizations won’t take them for sanitary reasons. I’d recommend going with a book or two instead.

      • meg

        this. the only stuffed animals my little guy plays with are puppets. So if you really want to do the cute route, maybe see if you can find a cool puppet out there that can at least do double duty?

      • Emily I

        Absolutely. My three kids have what seems like hundreds of stuffed bears, dogs, giraffes, etc. among them. Each kid has one or two that they occasionally glance at, but they certainly go un-played with for the most part.

    • Res Ipsa

      I usually send a fruit basket from Harry & David or similar. The parents probably don’t have a lot of time to eat healthy with a newborn. (This is a good gift, too, for those of us who can’t bear to go into baby stores.)

      • SarahMC

        This is a great idea, and it’s something I would have really appreciated last year when my son was born.

        And I agree with the posters above – avoid stuffed animals, if you can. We have gotten tons of adorable stuffed animals. They just sit in a basket, taking up space, while my son ignores them. The one exception is his lovey – a tiny blanket with a stuffed animal head at one corner, like this: http://www.amazon.com/Angel-Dear-Blankie-Blue-Bear/dp/B001OAQKVI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1303412291&sr=8-1 They are safe to put in a crib (unlike stuffed animals) and most of the ones I have seen are incredibly soft. I “trained” my son to like the lovey by putting it between us when he was nursing. It was a great comfort object when he started day care, and it helps him fall asleep now.

  10. kellyn

    Threadjack, por favor.

    Bottom line up front: I need help determining how to procede in the non-traditional law market with a law degree and license. Specifically, I’m exploring HR positions.

    By way of background…
    I’m a May 2010 law grad, employed in a one year clerkship at the state trial level. I love my job, and it’s really taught me tons about the law, the courts, practice, and myself. Mainly, it made me realize that I’m pretty sure I do not want to be a litigator. Like (what I feel is) most law students, I went in thinking I would do that, be happy and busy and challenged. Until I actually see this all in action, and I realized its not really a good fit for me. I’m more of a one-client-gal, meaning that I’d love to be more on a team in a business, in-house, or in a prosecutorial role (for other reasons) working for the state attorney.

    I’m unemployed as of Sept 1, despite my best efforts and some great leads.

    I’m looking into everything, being that I’m desperate for a job, including litigation roles. However, I feel bad telling them in interviews and cover letters that its what I want to do–I don’t think that’s fair to them, or to me. I’d take a job like this if it came along because momma’s got bills to pay and needs the experience, but I’m thinking more and more I want to go the business route.

    Human resources appeals to me, in that its more people oriented, less adversarial than the practice of law tends to be, more group work seems to be involved, and there is a healthy dose of legal stuff in there. I worked in a plaintiff’s side employment and labor firm during law school, and got a great foundation for employment law. I have a business minor from college. I took a lot (a lot) of business law classes in law school, thinking I’d be in corporate or litigation.

    How can I appeal to these HR positions, what level can I go in at, and how can I spin my law school skills and education into marketable and appealing skills/training for HR?

    THANKS!

    • Noner

      I’d be interested in hearing thoughts. I’m in a similar position (2008 grad, working the employee benefits side of HR in a small company) and thinking of moving companies – mostly to gain more experience in the other aspects of HR.

    • Hollis

      I have known a lot of HR professionals really well and this is not a field where you will use your legal knowledge or education. If you are at a big company, HR will consist of recruiting (i.e. sifting through resumes, arranging interviews, manninga table at career fairs, etc.), training (i.e. giving lectures on working with different personality types and other similar BS), or compliance (i.e. doing background checks and making sure people are U.S. residents, etc.). If you are a BigLaw HR person, planning the summer associates’ program will be a big part of your job. No offense to any HR professionals reading this, but once you do HR, no law firm lawyer is going to consider those skills to be transferable skills in law practice, so you don’t want to take an HR job unless you know for sure that you don’t want to practice law anymore. You should contact any HR professionals you know (maybe through your college alumni network) and do some informational interviews. It sounds like you have some other interests like employment law or working in-house. Contact those people as well and see if anyone in those fields might need an intern or junior associate (or even if you can just shadow them for a day or two). Law practice is a huge arena – there’s something in it for everyone (and, of course, something distasteful about it for everyone as well). I changed practice areas twice and only now am I in my element and loving what I do. Good luck to you.

      • msgumby

        I second the advice to really consider other areas of law before leaving the field entirely. If you truly want to do HR, then I don’t want to discourage you, but there might be other legal fields you could transition into happily and continue to use your recent and hard-earned degree. As a “one-client,” team-oriented person, have you fully considered in-house positions? I know the traditional route for these is to work a few years as a biglaw corp atty first, but with your business background you might be able to find something. You might also want to consider something less traditionally adversarial, like immigration law.

    • In HR

      First off, I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time finding a job.

      I have to say, and I’m sorry to say, that a law degree with some labor work and a few business classes does not an HR professional make. A lot of HR has to do with the law, but the vast majority of what an internal HR team does every day requires only a familiarity with the applicable law – not in-depth knowledge or analysis. As Hollis said, a huge amount of HR has to do with things like recruiting, interviewing, employee placement, developing policies, handling performance issues or disputes, etc. It’s necessary to know the law, but (and I admit this seems strange) you don’t necessarily apply the law in most day-to-day situations. It’s way more about interpersonal skills and understanding organizational culture and priorities. I know that’s part of what appeals to you, but frankly, I am not sure that having a law degree would help you have the kind of skills an HR department would be looking for. The focus is different.

      I hate bursting anyone’s bubble, any time, but I have to just warn you that with a law degree and zero HR experience, most likely the best you could do job-wise is getting an HR generalist position, at the bottom of the rung experience-wise and pay-wise, and work up from there. The internal HR folks I work with are not going to feel like they need a lawyer and aren’t going to feel like they should pay extra for a generalist who happens to have a law degree. I will qualify this by saying that there may very well be HR people in huge companies who feel differently, and would click their heels together at the thought of a generalist with a law degree – I just don’t know any. Even if you did find one, there’s no way you’re going to pull down lawyer pay in an HR job. The only people I know who make 6-figure salaries working in HR are the people who make it up to Senior Specialist in a huge company or VP-HR positions.

      If you are really serious about moving into HR and don’t mind making (maybe) $40-$50K a year in a generalist position, you could make the leap and then in a year or two take the PHR exam, which is very highly regarded in the HR field and would give you an automatic leg up in the field.

      Good luck, and I hope what I said is useful (although not terribly optimistic).

      • kellyn

        No this is incredibly helpful!

        Thanks for the responses, ladies. More to ponder.

  11. Shoe Inserts!?

    Ladies, I need your help. My shoes are killing me – they keep slipping off my feet. What are the best inserts to put in your shoes (assuming I can’t just return the shoes, because I’ve already worn them outside). Thanks in advance!

    • KM

      I like the Dr. Scholls for heels you can get at Walgreens or CVS, because you know, I’m gellin’. But seriously, they are very comfortable and add that extra bit to make the shoes fit better.

      • AIMS

        Depending on the shoe — if it’s just a bit too big — I get those back of the shoe cushions, and it makes the shoe more snug and thus more likely to stay in place.

      • Shoe Inserts!?

        Thanks so much for the suggestions! I am going to head to the store ASAP and see if any of these solve the issue.

    • PollyD

      Also try heel grips (padded stickers that go on the back of the shoe, usually sold with shoe polish and/or Dr. Scholl’s stuff) if they are slipping off your heels.

    • Hollis

      Sorry to threadjack this threadjack, but my slingback on one side is threatening to rub off a layer of skin behind my heel whenever I walk around. What do you ladies suggest – a bandaid? Running to a local drugstore to buy some knee-highs?

      • Monday

        A band-aid now, and in the future, the blister protector foot stick to put on pre-emptively. (Dr. Scholl’s and Band-Aid both make a version of this, and it’s in drugstores.) It will get you through until you either have less soft skin in that area, or the leather softens up. I keep it in my bag at all times, and often re-apply during the day.

      • JessT

        They make those heel protectors for strappy sandals too – just a few millimeters wide. I forget where i got mine, but it was either the drugstore, DSW, or Ricky’s.

      • In House Mouse

        Dr. Scholl’s makes a roll of padded tape that you can use on your shoes anywhere they rub or chafe your skin. Sorry, I forget the name of it, but I found it in the shoe insert section of a drugstore and it comes in a purple tape dispenser.

  12. TKA

    Does anyone have experience with housekeepers (as opposed to cleaning services)? I am seriously considering trying to find someone who could come once a week for laundry, dishes, and cleaning. I work full-time and am also finishing my PhD, and I just can’t keep up with anything around the house. I have avoided hiring a cleaning service because I honestly don’t even have time to tidy up the house before they come. Does anyone have any idea of how much that might cost, and whether there are good resources for finding such a service? FWIW, I live in central VA, so the cost of living here is relatively low compared to NY/DC/etc. Please help me help my house!!

    • AIMS

      It depends on the size of your house and your area. There are some tax issues that can come up with hiring an individual housekeeps, but I wouldn’t necessarily worry about that (horrid of me, I know!) unless you are in a career field where that may matter.

      In NYC, I have paid $80-100 (including money for laundry) to clean a 1500 sq. ft. apartment, once a week. It was really $80 for the work, and $20 to buy laundry and cleaning supplies.

      My mother, who is currently living in a suburban area of NY pays about $70 for a small 2 floor house + basement to be cleaned. No laundry though.

      I think if you want to hire an individual, the best way to do it is through referrals/word of mouth. There are websites like Angie’s List that have unbiased reviews, but I am not sure how many independent cleaning proffesionals they actually review (and you have to pay to join). I would just ask your neighbors or friends for a rec. I think in VA, you could likely find someone for around $60.

      PS: I highly recommend the help if you can afford it. There is something incredibly steadying and peaceful about know that, e.g., on Thursday you will come home to a clean house and folded laundry.

      • Diana Barry

        One of my friends (single mom) has a housekeeper that comes twice a week, so that she can spend less time doing laundry and more time playing with her son. Craigslist or word of mouth is usually a good source.

      • TKA

        Thanks! That pretty much matches what I was thinking (about $80/day for the work…8 hours at $10/hr). My house is a bit larger (1800 sq ft), but that is probably offset by the fact that I am in VA and not NYC. Now I just have to find time to do some legwork and find someone!

        • Kay

          I think $10/hr is a bit low, especially if you’re looking for someone who will act more like a housekeeper and use his or her judgment about where to put items away and what to tackle next. I doubt that it took AIMS’s cleaner 8 hours to clean the apartment and do laundry. In Boston, I pay $100 to my cleaner for a 4 bedroom/2ba 2200 sq foot house, and it takes her (with an assistant) about 3 hours per visit.

        • Eponine

          If you’re anticipating 8 hours of work, you should be prepared to pay a LOT more than $80. $10 an hour? For someone who’s going to be doing manual labor, in your home? Apart from the fact that that’s outrageously low, frankly I wouldn’t trust someone who’d be willing to work for so little pay.

          $25/hr is much more reasonable. In DC, where I live, housekeepers usually charge a flat rate – like $100 for a 2-bedroom apartment, which is generally a 2-3 hour job. If heavy cleaning is required, rates double.

          • Anonymous

            My friend “shares” a cleaner with his next door neighbor. Four hours at each place. Works well for all parties.

        • AIMS

          I think that it will prob. not take a housekeeper 8 hrs. to clean, so $80 is probably fine, and not at all low. These people are professionals. They are also not distracted by our stuff the same we are (e.g., I will find an old card or magazine and sit to read it, a housekeeper will just put it in a neat pile).

          If you have neglected the upkeep for a while, you may want to consider paying a bit more for an initial cleaning, but otherwise I think you should be fine at that rate, thereafter.

          And, again, when you get a referral, you will be able to ask what the going rate is relative to the size of the house/nature of the work.

          Good luck!

          • AIMS

            Btw, I would do a flat rate, not an hourly one. It is not practical to do it by hour, and most professional folks charge a flat rate, not hourly. So if you pay, e.g, $80 — let the housekeeper figure out how to manage the time. As long as the place is clean and everything is done, it shouldn’t make a difference if it too him/her 4 hours or 7.

        • Jr. Prof

          The amount is about right, but the hourly rate is off. Expect more like $20-25/ hour (these people have to live, too!) We have a housekeeper who comes once/month, with a helper or two to clean our 1200 sq. ft. house in the SF Bay Area. Yeah, it’s more expensive out here, but she gets $100 for ~ 4 person hours of work. I’d be surprised if you could pay <$20/ hour for someone reliable and trustworthy (which is very important, since you're giving them a key to your house and access to all your possessions!), even in a less expensive part of the country. We found our housekeeper through a friend. It is SO worth it!

      • Ameila

        I pay $80 for every other week light cleaning (basically floors, dusting, and bathrooms) in the bay area. I have a small 3bedroom house. I found my housecleaner through a friend.

        • karenpadi

          I have exactly the same arrangement in the Bay area. It’s worth every single penny but I’m glad to hear I’m not being over-charged!

    • mamabear

      It’s so good that you are thinking Housekeeper rather than Cleaning Lady. I have the latter, and if we don’t pick up everything, she just cleans around it. For instance, a magazine on a table she might just dust around rather than cleaning the whole table and putting it back. Likewise, if my kids didn’t pick up all of their toys, she vaccuums around them rather than putting the toys away first.

      So the night before she comes has become what my husband and I call “Screaming Night” where we’re yelling at the kids and each other to get everything put away.

      (Now that I type this I’m wondering who works for who? Kind of like dogs and their so-called “Masters” following them around with a plastic baggie.)

      Anwyay, our cleaning lady has her good points so we’re not at the firing point yet, and the whole tidying thing keeps us on our toes, but I wish in hindsight I’d looked for more of a Housekeeper.

      Rate-wise, we pay $150 for a 3000 square foot house, every other week, in the San Francisco Bay Area.

      • anon

        Would you really want someone to rearrange all your stuff? Our cleaning person does that occasionally (probably when she just can’t stand our clutter), and then I can’t find things and it drives me crazy.

        I agree with others that $20-25/hour is the going rate for cleaning services, even in smaller city where I live.

    • Bonnie

      $80 is about fair in D.C. for cleaning (2-3 hours). If you want someone there all day who is doing laundry and putting things away, expect to pay MUCH more.

  13. bakema

    Long-time reader here, first time posting. I was wondering if anyone could recommend a good, professional-looking laptop backpack for a man? Would be used for commuting as well as international travel. Hoping to stay under $150.

  14. super anon

    Hi ladies, I really need some advice about dealing with a sensitive situation at work. It has become clear to many that a female colleague is bulimic and purges frequently in our small shared restroom. I am not very close to her, but others in the office are and we have all expressed our concerns to each other. Her supervisor is also aware of the situation. I personally feel like like while there is not much I can do directly, I also do not want to stand by idly knowing that someone is going through such a difficult experience.
    Does anyone have experience with this? I know that this is a complex issue with many contributing factors, but our workplace is a community and I would like to be as helpful/supportive as possible. Any suggestions on how to accomplish that? We are a med-sized gov office and HR is pretty hands-off.

    • Eponine

      Are you a lawyer? My local bar actually has an office dedicated to helping attorneys with addition and mental health issues, and if yours has the same kind of program, you could call them (anonymously even) and ask for advice.

      • super anon

        Great suggestion, but unfortunately, I am not a lawyer. I wonder if there is a similar resource for gov employees/contractors?

        • North Shore

          Yes. I believe just about all government agencies now offer an Employee Assistance Plan. Check if your agency has one. Free and confidential counseling for all sort of things. Perhaps HR or the supervisor could send an e-mail to all about what services the EAP offers, or an HR person could come to your office for a brown-bag talk about employee benefits such as this. That way she wouldn’t be singled out; plus perhaps others could benefit from the info too.

        • If You Work for the Government

          Be careful because more stringent rules apply to you that limit what you can tell her to do (ie, you must seek therapy/healthcare). You need to be sensitive to the fact that she has privacy rights that your employer, if it is a government agency, needs to respect more than a private employer does.

          Having said that, I work for a state agency, and we have many resources to which she could (gently) be guided: Ombuds office, EAP, Counseling Center, HR all come to mind.

    • Hollis

      Yes, this was me in a prior life. I would be completely mortified if I knew that others knew and also that others were talking about it. I hate to say this, but it would be good not to bring this up to her, because she will deny it and it will make things awkward. I didn’t tell anyone – not even my husband – until I recovered. She is going through some major stress (for me, it was work stress combined with infertility which triggered the urge to binge, which triggered the urge to purge), and the most help you can do is to just be a friend, invite her to lunch or happy hour, etc. and allow her the freedom to vent, laugh, be happy, etc. Whatever you do, do not ask her if she’s pregnant (I got that question once and I tried to avoid that person from that moment on).

      • Anon

        You should be proud of yourself for taking whatever steps you needed to take to recover! It isn’t easy.

    • anonymous for this

      I second the advice of asking for help with the issue from any type of professional association you might have. I have personal history with this one, and one of the things that helped me the most was when someone told me they knew what was going on. Just that embarrassment and accountability helped – offer to talk or just listen if she wants, but unless you guys are otherwise close, your role as watchdog might sound harsh, but really will be a help to her.

    • rg

      Hollis has some good advice about not asking her about her eating disorder directly…especially if you two are not especially close. From too much experience dealing with these types of things, I can say that probably the best thing you could do is just indicate to her that she’s not alone (without prying). Just make sure to sort of ask her how she’s doing without being specific (not awkwardly, but where appropriate). Sometimes just knowing someone recognizes you exist as a person can be helpful.

      You could try to build a friendship with her, maybe invite her to coffee or tea (avoid meals or any situation where choosing a non-caloric option would be uncomfortable/unusual).

      While mental health services for employees are great, the success of most treatment is incumbent upon the person really wanting to get better. It might be valuable to have this information available in case she seeks it out, but I wouldn’t suggest it to her up front since that would probably make her more defensive than anything else.

      • MelD

        I think this is great advice. My college roommate was a recovering anorexic and still had major food issues. We had a few fights about it, but it wasn’t until she realized how much weight she was losing that she realized that she had a problem again. I just tried to be a good friend to her and accept that she was not going to be an ultra happy person all the time. I think a big issue is that people are really scared of being ostracized if other people find out. Just being there and letting the person know that you’ll be there for her will help out tremendously.

    • Anonymous

      Leave that subject alone without leaving her alone. Talk to her about everything but that.

      • academicsocialite

        Agreed. As someone who has dealt with this in a family context, please don’t bring it up with her directly. It can just escalate the stress and embarassment for the individual who is struggling with the disorder. Just as you would never bring up such personal issues in the office (akin to other illnesses, mental challenges, fertility problems, etc), this, IMHO, is off-limits. Just be a friend to her/a friendly face in the office. For all you know, work may be a good normalizer for her (despite the purging during the day) and having a place where she can at least try to focus on other things despite her illness.

        Also, try to remain relaxed and non-judgmental when it comes to food related events. Though if you wanted to go the extra mile, you might try to steer bonding/socializing activities in the office away from those that are food-focused , but I know that isn’t always possible without drawing attention to your colleague.

        One personal caveat: if you believe her life is at risk (i.e. missing work for long stretches, fainting in the office, etc) then some form of intervention might be warranted. But I feel that this would be her supervisor’s call and professional expertise should be solicited.

        • Anonymous

          No word of a lie, this is what one (male) supervisor said to me:

          “Are you one those chicks that pukes? Because you don’t need to, you know. You look fine.”

          (I was a runner with a huge appetite at the time. It still left me speechless.)

          • academicsocialite

            That is apalling. If I were generous, I might say that he would only have made such an insensitive comment if he was 100% confident that you would take it as a “joke” (i.e. you are healthy, look healthy, exude strong, healthy runner-ness with every breath)…

            but I’m not that generous. JERK.

    • cbackson

      My perspective on this is apparently pretty different from that of other folks. For what it’s worth, I’m a recovered anorexic, and a conversation with an acquaintance (not a friend) who wanted me to know that he could tell I needed help, and that he was willing to help me get it, was a major wake-up call for me. I didn’t take him up on the offer (and he treated me just the same afterwards, which was key), but it made it harder for me to pretend to myself that I didn’t have a problem.

      Strange as it may seem, it’s entirely possible that your co-worker is telling herself that she doesn’t have an ED. It’s also entirely possible that other folks in her life are afraid to say something to her, are in denial about the problem, or haven’t seen the signs because she’s successfully hiding her behavior.

  15. Fashion Faux Pas

    Threadjack.
    I need fashion/court etiquette advice. I’m about 18 weeks pregnant and will have a federal court appearance in a week and a half. I’m not really showing yet (my pre-pregnancy clothes still fit, but they’re definitely snug), so maternity clothes are still too big for me. I have several suits where the skirts should still fit comfortably in a few weeks (there is a bit of elastic built into the waistband), but I don’t think that I will be able to button the jackets. Would it be completely unacceptable to appear with the jacket unbuttoned, keeping in mind that I probably will look like I’m carrying extra weight in my stomach, but won’t look pregnant (I’m thinking of previous comments that have mentioned that there is more leeway in court attire for pregnant women)? I’ve thought about buying a non-maternity suit in a larger size, but as a junior associate, I’m only in court about once a month to once every six weeks, so I would probably only get one wear out of the suit which seems like a huge waste of money. I haven’t been able to find a maternity suit that fits (they are all still too big and the inseams are too short since I need a 34 inch inseam), but I haven’t spent a ton of time looking for one (and don’t really have any time to shop either), but should I just suck it up and buy one and figure out a way to make it fit? Thanks!

    • Cat

      Trying to picture what I would do — I think you should be fine with your current suit unbuttoned, but you may want to wear a top that makes you look a little bigger or emphatically pg than you are (maybe wear a pregnancy blouse — thinking of the type with the empire waist seam — even though it may be too big on you now, to emphasize your very good reason for not buttoning your jacket)?

    • bhtsmama

      Are people at your office aware that you’re pregnant? If so, are there women with young children from whom you might be able to borrow something? That may be the simplest thing to do, and if it’s a skirt suit, unless you borrow from someone who is very petite and shortened it, you probably won’t have to worry about length. Or you could try a dress with matching/coordinated jacket, which for some reason doesn’t look quite as odd unbuttoned. One of my most frustrating mat. clothes shopping experiences was when I was prepare to drop A LOT of $$ at Liz Lange (not the Target line) and asked about the jackets – the saleslady said well, by 3d tri it won’t button anyway and it’s not really supposed to – then WHAT IS THE POINT of spending extra for a maternity suit? !? (I bought a cheap one from Motherhood on sale, it was ugly and I wore it twice.)

    • Eponine

      I had no idea that there was anything wrong with having your jacket unbuttoned even if you’re not pregnant. I almost never button mine.

      • Anonymous

        Theoretically, in a perfect/perfection-obsessed world, one buttons whenever ones is standing, unbuttoning to sit. Don’t worry about it.

        It’s a preserving-the-line (aesthetics), preserving-formality (etiquette) kind of traditional thing. Mostly applies to guys– lots of women’s fashion is intentionally open anyhoo, jacketless, warpped, whathaveyou. We can be more fluid.

        Really, don’t worry about it.

      • Res Ipsa

        I’ve seen lawyers called out by judges for not buttoning their jackets; though, to be fair, it has only been men.

    • KOB

      I would go unbuttoned. I used to clerk for a federal judge and got to sit and observe a lot of court, and this wouldn’t make me look twice — esp. if it’s a court/judge where you’re seated a majority of the time (like my Judge had lawyers do). If it’s like a jury trial, I’d have completely different advice, but for just an appearance I think unbuttoned is fine.

    • recently preggers

      If you will still fit in your regular suit w/ the jacket unbuttoned, do that — thats what i did till i was big enough for maternity suits. However, I would also suggest wearing a more flow-y shirt to kinda suggest to people that you are pregnant.

      I also bought a black maternity dress that i used for everything — from court to deps, just dressed up with pearls. Something kida like this:

      http://www.apeainthepod.com/Product.asp?product_Id=157570024&MasterCategory_Id=MC3

    • Fashion Faux Pas

      Thank you all for the helpful suggestions both for my upcoming appearance and later in the pregnancy. There are very few female attorneys in my office and I am the only female litigator (and I haven’t told the firm that I’m expecting yet), and none of my friends have had children, so I’m glad that I had this community to answer my random question. I think that I will wear a regular suit (belly willing) with the jacket open. I suspect the standards for attire are more lax in the court where I am appearing (bankruptcy court) because there are many pro ses who come to court in whatever they were wearing that day (which is often jeans). I think I’ve seen male attorneys khakis and blazers, as opposed to full suits, to court. Thanks again!

      • Cat

        I’m asking because I honestly don’t know — what is typical for people telling their firm that they are expecting? I can understand not wanting to tell, but at some point, do you cross the line w/r/t length of time between telling and going on leave?

        (Asking because I can still remember the flack my mother got from our family when, after lots of difficulty getting me a sibling, she didn’t tell anyone other than me & dad she was expecting until 4 mos. prior to due date. Obviously that’s very personal, and was feasible because we lived away from family, but wondering if it applies professionally as well.)

        • Diana Barry

          I told at 13 weeks – couldn’t wait any longer, I popped early with both kids.

        • Anonymous

          I had to tell really early with my second (8 weeks) because I was sick as could be and could barely function — people knew there was something going on with me, it just wasnt clear what. I think you kinda have to feel things out, but generally right around the 12 week mark is considered appropriate (i.e., once you get past the first trimester)

          • KOB

            I told at 20 weeks — I wanted to wait as long as humanly possible and wasn’t showing at all so it was fine.

        • mamabear

          Depends on which # baby it is, too. With my first and even second, I could hide it for longer. When I was 13 weeks pregnant with my third, I finally told the head of office and he said, “Did you think I was blind?” :)

          • Manoa Valley Girl

            I’m a tad vexed on this pregnancy issue. We have been recruiting for a much-needed office manager — we need a CPA who understands government procurement, bill-paying, our new accounting program, dealing with litigators and our varying credit cards, purchasing our furniture, etc. Our own manager left four months ago due to surgery followed by retirement.

            After a two-month search, we hired what we thought was likely a good fit. Unfortunately, she lives in another state, and we did all the interviews via Skype: head shots only. Well, she started work on Monday and we discover she is 8.5 months pregnant. She informs she intends to take a 5 month leave of absence after birth.
            !@$!!!!!

            We are so screwed. . . . Just venting.

          • Coach Laura

            @Manoa Valley Girl – I know you are in Hawaii, so that undoubtably makes it tougher to find just the right hire and deal with relocation etc.. Although it is my personal philosphy that employers owe it to their work force to treat pregnancy fairly, it is also my belief that women who pull this kind of stunt make it much harder for other women. And the collision of technology/skype, remote hiring and pregnancy – wow, just wow! She must have been deperate for a job.

            You could look at it this way: Maybe you wouldn’t have found the right person during that five month leave. And when she returns, I hope she’s the most dedicated and talented employee ever!

      • Bk foette

        Speaking as a law clerk in bankruptcy court – you are fine with an unbuttoned jacket. The dress code standard is definitely more lax here.

      • Coach Laura

        You might consider buying a larger suit, both to use in the coming months and then after the pregnancy when you are not back in your old suits yet. There’s a lot to be said for not walking around in a too-tight suit all day.

  16. Another Couch to 5k

    Just wanted to thank all of you who posted about Ct5K last week! I had never heard of it before, but after that thread and a little research on my own, I convinced my boyfriend that it was something we should do together. We did our first workout today, and both felt great afterwords! We’re planning on buying ourselves new running shoes after we finish week 2, as a reward for starting, incentive to keep going, and for protection from injury. So thanks for the advice!

    • soulfusion

      I missed that thread last week but this is how I started running two years ago and I will just chime in and say it WORKS! Good luck and definitely get good shoes. I suggest going to a running store as their sales people will watch you run and even put you on a treadmill to help you find the right fit. Fit will make a huge difference as you start running more and walking less. Good luck!

    • Lynnet

      My husband and I were encouraged by that thread to start as well. We’re going to as soon as I can get some running shoes.

  17. Laura S

    I have a wonderful white wool turtleneck sweater that would go so well with this skirt, but it is very warm so I cannot wear it now until maybe October.

    I could also wear a cowl neck sweater that is a little lighter, but the coloring is off.

    Any other ideas?

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