This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
I have no shortage of black sweaters in my closet, but they’re such a mainstay of my winter wardrobe that I’m always on the lookout for a new twist. This tie-neck version from Ann Taylor has a little extra pizazz and would look great paired with some bright trousers for the office or with your favorite denim for the weekend.
The sweater is $37.49 (with code), marked down from $98, at Ann Taylor and comes in sizes XXS–XXL. It’s also available in winter white and lavender for $78.40.
Sales of note for 10.10.24
- Nordstrom – Extra 25% off clearance (through 10/14); there's a lot from reader favorites like Boss, FARM Rio, Marc Fisher LTD, AGL, and more. Plus: free 2-day shipping, and cardmembers earn 6x points per dollar (3X the points on beauty).
- Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale (ends 10/12)
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything plus extra 25% off your $125+ purchase
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide
- J.Crew Factory – 50% off entire site, plus extra 25% off orders $150+
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Sale on sale, up to 85% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 50% off 2+ markdowns
- Target – Circle week, deals on 1000s of items
- White House Black Market – Buy one, get one – 50% off full price styles
Anonymous
Someone mentioned yesterday they tried SK-II masks and loved them. I found a couple different kinds. Any specific suggestion/link?
Anon
Not the OP but SK-II is a brand and they carry famous sheet masks which is probably what they were referring to.
Anonymous
I am looking at different options so trying to figure out which one(s) to splurge on!
Anon
That was me! I buy the Facial Treatment masks. They are pricey but you can use each mask twice if you fold it up and put it back in the foil pouch with the excess product. I usually wait until Sephora has a sale and buy the box of 10 then.
Anon
After some shifting of responsibilities, I’m now doing a lot of copy editing at work. I have always been a good writer (and I’m quite proud of that), but it has always come naturally to me. I haven’t had any formal instruction in grammar since grade school. I really want to brush up on my grammar and I also would like to learn a bit about writing and editing. I have virtually no formal instruction, training, or experience in editing or even professional writing.
What resources, courses, or training would people recommend? I’m open to pretty much anything – self taught with good resources, an online or in person class, or even a full certificate program.
There is no budget for this (I work at a nonprofit), though I would be willing to spend a bit of my own money.
New Here
I recently shifted to working to a role with more writing responsibilities, so I feel you. At my previous job, I had a proofreader to check everything and I’m realizing how much I relied on him! A few resources I’ve found:
– AP Stylebook online (assuming you are writing in AP style)
– Ragan Communications Training. You can create a free account and they have a lot of free and paid resources
– I am also looking at this certificate course, which includes a grammar course. You can take the grammar class as a standalone/you don’t have to pursue the certificate: https://www.sps.nyu.edu/professional-pathways/certificates/media-writing-and-communications/professional-writing-and-communications.html
editor
I would look into the University of Chicago’s editing certificate or the programs run by ACES (cheaper). A thing I would not do is rely on Strunk and White. If you are stumped in the meantime, Purdue’s OWL, online, is a good resource.
anon a mouse
You might consider joining ACES, the American Copy Editors Society. They have editors from all types of organizations, and have interesting webcasts and training sessions. Check out some grammar and usage books – Strunk & White, anything by Bill Walsh. The Grammar Girl site can be good to help raise your awareness of common errors, too.
Anon
I’ve seen professionals in this field recommend Style: 10 Lessons in Clarity and Grace as more internally consistent, accurate, and actionable than Strunk & White. (Strunk & White is itself well written, but trying to learn from it as opposed to contemplate it can lead to hang ups that writers later need to unlearn…)
If AP Style isn’t required, I find the Chicago Manual provides much more thorough guidance.
anon
I took Poynter’s copy editing course a few years ago and found it valuable: https://www.poynter.org/learning-path/poynter-aces-certificate-in-editing/
Poynter also has several standalone editing classes, like the Language Primer, which might be all you need.
Anon
Purdue Owl is a very useful reference, along with whatever style guide is most relevant to your industry.
Anon
I second this recommendation. I frequently used their resources when I worked as a writing tutor in college. You may be able to find style manuals at your local public library, university library, and/or used book store to start out until you learn more about what specifically you need. You may also be able to learn from YouTube channels for specific concepts from these groups, too. Congratulations on this change for you. Best of luck!
A
To start, get a copy edit check list (just google and see one that resonates). I found it incredibly helpful when I was doing a lot of copy editing without formal training.
anecdata
I thought Stephen Pinker’s The Sense of Style was really useful (it’s a regular size paperback, so if not at your library, should be $15 or less)
Anon
Warriner’s Grammar Handbook (a big red book) is a bible for a reason. Very clear examples of common grammar issues, with exercises. Teaches as you flip through. Recommend.
Anonymous
You also should check to see if your city has local chapters of PRSA or any of the national journalism organizations. They may offer trainings that are more reasonable. Honestly though, the best training is doing. I went to journalism school so I have a lot of editing training, but using your style manual and doing is still the best way to learn. It will always be a little subjective and your editing will change over time because those guides will change too. (AP style online subscription is much more useful than the print version.)
SilverGirl
I was in a role similar to you—lots of copyediting responsibilities but no formal training apart from school/university basics. I took the full CE course sequence at UC San Diego and found the program helpful. But regardless of where and how you study, I’d suggest, at a minimum, a good grammar review course (you’ll be surprised at what you’d forgotten/never knew) and a basic copy-editing course. Amy Einsohn’s The Copyeditor’s Handbook is a great resource for CE basics, and I’d second the recommendation for Chicago as good daily resource. Best of luck to you—the world needs more good editors!
ThirdJen
What do I need to consider when moving from a MCOL to a HCOL/VHCOL area? I have asked this question before specifically about the Northern Virginia area but site search is failing me. I’ve got a list of school districts to target for home search, but what else do I need to know about NoVa that will help my family and I settle in after leaving our beloved midwestern suburb?
Anon
How familiar are you with HCOL areas? Everything costs more – even things like Panera can cost more. If you aren’t familiar with actual traffic (think, turning a 20 min drive into an hour drive), get familiar with it.
Anon for this
how old are your kids? I made a similar move when I was in middle school and it was rough. There was a whole universe of VHCOL-income-family hobbies and travels and experiences and brands that I had never even heard of, and all of a sudden I felt like a complete hayseed.
anon
+1 to this. And, as silly as it sounded, Ryan Atwood’s experience when he first arrives in the OC actually felt real, as I was also new in a Very HCOL area. Practically speaking as an adult, I would be open to what the “cost of admission” things are in the area and if your kids want to do it/want them. I don’t know the area you are in, but in my area it is club memberships for the family, specific brands, and sleep away summer camp. Think of it as an anthropological survey to find out what the vibe is and don’t fight back too hard if your kids insist that they “need” Vejas sneakers or something of the like.
anon for this
This is a great point – depending on your kids’ ages and interests, summer swim clubs are VERY big in NoVa. It’s actually worth getting on a few waiting lists now near your target areas, it may be a year or two before you would get a membership.
Anon
As a NoVA kid who swam from age 7 through HS, yes!! This was so much fun.
ThirdJen
Kids are 10 and 8, not quite to middle school yet. I grew up as an actual complete hayseed and am really sensitive to this.
anon for this
One of the biggest QOL influencers in this area is traffic – how close can you live to where you will work, where schools are, etc? If you will travel for work, proximity to an airport is important. I would also say one of the biggest differences between living here and my family in the midwest is the sheer enormity of Type A parents – that’s a real cultural shift and it may take a bit to find your people. But be prepared for things to all be a little bit more difficult to navigate for kids – gymnastics and swim classes book up almost immediately, for example. Many summer camps open registration in December or January. After school care at schools fills up a year in advance. Stuff like that. There’s simply more demand than there is supply for just about everything, including houses. If you want to post a burner, I’m happy to share more specific insights too.
Anon
I live in the very LCOL Midwest and summer camp reg opens in December, and getting into both swimming lessons and aftercare is insanely competitive. We’ve been on the waiting list for swim lessons at several places for more than 3 years. I think this stuff is universal, especially post-pandemic with the associated staffing challenges. My friends in big coastal metros actually have a much easier time with aftercare than we do. School spots are extremely limited everywhere, but tey have way more off-site option than we do, I assume because there’s more demand for it? (a lot of people here are SAHMs, who don’t need aftercare).
But I agree about the traffic.
Anon
Yeah, I live in the suburbs of Columbus, Ohio and the day of summer camp sign up is the most stressful day of the year. The camp sells out in less than one minute. Aftercare is always a scramble too, although they give preference to returning families.
No Problem
I think this part about Type A parents is spot on, and I’m not even a parent (I just know many of them). This is where all of the high-achieving, Type-A people from other parts of the country move to. The area is absolutely saturated with high achievers doing high achieving work (lawyers, contractors of all stripes, nonprofit warriors, software engineers, etc.). Obviously there are also plenty of people who are just normal (such a breath of fresh air to be around them, to be honest), but the ratio is quite different from what you are used to. My excellent public high school in a midwest suburban area would regularly send 1-2 kids per year to an Ivy (I would guess 10-20 might apply per year, most of them knowing they were reach schools) and a dozen or two to other highly ranked colleges out of state. Around here, I would hazard that ratio to be significantly higher. There is just a lot more competition for the top spots in everything. Maybe that’s a good thing for your kids, maybe it’s not (the whole question of whether it’s better to be a big fish in a small pond vs. a regular fish in a big pond). None of this is necessarily bad: I have definitely found my people here, and my people were few and far between back home. Find your tribe and you will be happy.
And yes, traffic. It is constant, and it does wear on you. Drive a car you like, because you’re going to be spending a lot of time in it.
Anon
So much this. It was so bad that I thought about getting a “my kid beat up your honor student” sticker for my car even though 1) I didn’t have kids and 2) I was in fact an honor student (but at a 100 kid per grade high school). Tracy Flick from Election absolutely belonged in DC after high school.
Another thing: I went to my state’s flagship State U, which I loved and adored. A friend’s wife looked at me with honest pity about having had to go to a state school.
I don’t life there any more but go back b/c my husband is from there. He thought he was the dumbest person ever because he was a late bloomer and likely has some undiagnosed learning disabilities or inattentive ADHD. He coped by smoking a lot of weed and playing guitar — he would have done better just living on a ranch in Wyoming and being average vs having people weep that he was only able to go to community college.
Anon
The state school thing is so regional. Speaking of my experience in the suburbs of Boston in the 1990s: most top students went private. They either had parents who could pay (because while college was expensive back then, it wasn’t as crazy as it is now), or dropped down a level and got hefty merit aid. The latter would bring down the cost of private schools so they were comparable to or cheaper than say UMass Amherst.
That creates a cycle – all the smart kids go private so the next batch of smart kids go private. In other parts of the country, plenty of valedictorians and varsity athletes in the top 5% go to their flagship state or even a lesser-known state U.
Anonymous
The state school thing is regional partly because the quality of state schools varies so widely. I went to UCLA and now live in Virginia, which has UVA and W&M. UMass, SUNY, etc. just aren’t equivalent in-state options for comparison.
Anon
I feel like there are so many people with degrees from state schools in Nova! I don’t feel looked down-upon at all, though maybe those people run in different circles.
Anon
Anonymous at 11:57 – I wasn’t really talking about Virginia, Michigan, California, etc.
I know some very, very smart people who went to schools like Ole Miss, University of Oklahoma, Truman State, Ball State, because it was in-state and cheap. Many of their friends are also quite brilliant. No one is mistaking those schools for UC Berkeley; it’s just that even the super-smart kids from flyover country go to their state schools. Since there is a sizable cohort of brilliant kids, the next batch of brilliant kids feel good about going there, too.
Anonymous
Your example was UMass, though.
Anon
Hotty toddy, Anon@1:13!
Anon
Agree. I loved from the Acela Corridor to the Midwest and… yes people around here are happy and enjoying their lives, which is what matters most, but I miss being around high achievers. To each their own, absolutely no judgement on anyone – it just isn’t for me.
Anonymous
Yeah, I moved to a normal MCOL area after spending the first 26 years of my life in various fast-paced cities full of high achievers and it’s been quite a culture shock. There are very few people I can have real conversations with.
Anon
I got out of the Midwest as fast as I could, but I honestly think of NoVa as the worst of both worlds. Places like Boston or NYC feel invigorating to me. NoVa seems to have all the keeping up with the Joneses and status culture of midwestern suburbs (along with at least some of the uptight snootiness of the south), but more expensive, and the mode of achieving and competing can start to feel privileged and conformist (like competing for existing slots, not going as far as you can go?). This could be a reflection of my bubble, but I feel like I can never relax in Virginia and yet it’s almost boring compared to other HCOL places.
Anon
I don’t get in DC how many people are government workers or work for government contractors yet to judge by housing prices, it’s like everyone is in private equity. Like it should be full of highly-educated middle-class people and yet where do they live? At home with their parents if they are from the area?
Anon
Many of the government workers in the DC area either purchased a home 10+ years ago, live in the close in Maryland suburbs (which are a lot cheaper than the close in Virginia suburbs), or live in the far out Virginia suburbs. Lots also have a spouse that makes more. And honestly, a two gs-13 couple (which is a very normal grade) make over $200k.
Anonymous
You can’t afford a home in, say, Arlington on $200K.
Anonymous
I am baffled that the 10:56 commenter thinks there aren’t high achievers in the midwest. And that the 11:16 commentor can have “real conversations” with “very few people.” Maybe people have noticed your elitist attitude?
Anon
Yep. I grew up pretty middle class and was always a good student and my parents did not push me.
Live in a fancy place now as a grown up. The competitiveness is real. Even at a young age. When our oldest was in kindergarten we learned that all the striver parents had taught their kids to read already. We felt like our child was behind and I felt like I had dropped a ball. The teacher confirmed this and said kiddo would catch up (they did).
Anon
Yeah I said above that we have a lot of the same logistical issues in the LCOL Midwest, but I do think the academic pressure is generally a lot less here.
We live in a college town so we’re fortunate to have what I consider the best of both worlds. Families are educated and value education and the schools are great, but we don’t have the intense academic pressure that seems to come with living in very wealthy areas. I have friends in CA and Mass. and they and all their neighbors have to pay private tutors for their (very bright) kids. The only people I know who have tutors have kids who failed a class. Kids there are expected to read before K. My kid barely knew her letters and it was fine. The college pressure is also just totally different. The vast majority of our high school’s “good” students go to one of the big State Us. If you want to aim higher, it’s an option, but it’s not an Ivy or bust mentality, even for honors/AP students. The state universities are also way easier to get into, at least compared to California. I’m very glad we live where we do!
ThirdJen
Yes please – I’m at midwestnovarette at g mail dot com!
Anonymous
I registered my kids for summer camp on Sept 22. (Boston area)
In-House Anon
We made the move to NOVA about 18 months ago, from a M/trending HCOL area. Do you have any local contacts? If not (or even if so!) I’m happy to chat about our experience if you want to post an email. We have elem aged kids and used schools to narrow our neighborhood search. At the time we moved, housing inventory was so low in our target area that we had few options, and spent more on our house than I would have liked. The comment about traffic is no joke, and I’ve found that surface roads is just as bad or worse than highways. Apart from the obvious downsides of costs and traffic, I really like the area. Our neighbors are diverse and interesting people, our kids’ school is great, our town is walkable, and we can metro into DC fairly easily to have access to museums etc. Good luck with the move!
ThirdJen
I only have in laws in the area and would LOVE to talk. I’m at midwestnovarette at g mail dot com.
Anonymous
I’m in the Boston burbs. We have two different neighbors that moved from MCOL and LCOL areas respectively. Some considerations:
– unless your relo comes with massive raise, except to live in a crappier house. Our friends with 4 kids moved from the Dallas area to the inner Boston burbs and left a 5000sq ft brand new house with 5BRs and bought a 1.6M 4 bed 2.5 bath house built in the 70s that’s not really that updated and it’s on a main road. Our neighbors moved from Milwaukee and they only have one kid and got a huge pay bump so the house size wasn’t as dramatic- but everything is more work/more expensive. Trash, plowing, transportation, restaurant menus, building permits (OMG the cost of construction!!), excise taxes, airport parking $40/day at Logan vs like $20/day in St. Louis!), haircuts, etc. most jobs start at $20/hr here and those fees are baked into everything. Daycare is $3k/month.
Anonymous
Don’t brush off the traffic in Northern Virginia. When we tell you that a neighborhood is not going to be convenient for a job, believe us.
anon
You do you and don’t buy into achievement culture if you don’t want to.
I grew up in an expensive part of Northern Virginia and now live in an even more expensive part Silicon Valley. My experience from both is that there exist people who engage in hyper-competitive parenting with the aim of admission to an elite university. I didn’t have that kind of parenting growing up and I went to a fancier university and law school than almost all my peers.
There exists a belief in my current area that parents are intensely competitive and putting children in tons of activities/tutoring to get them on the road to elite university admissions. I have seen this, but it’s not the norm and it’s not the children of the most privileged parents who are subject to this kind of pressure in elementary school. It’s possible for someone to find a cohort of parents who do this, but it’s also possible to largely avoid this kind of thing. Are most parents looking to what their child is interested in and finding opportunities? Absolutely. But, there’s a big different between that and parents forcing children to pursue achievements.
Anon
Echoing this, but for Excel. I majored in Classics, so good pens were unheard of technology for that era. I am largely self-taught in Excel, but have a feeling that accountants / college kids could do my tasks a lot more efficiently. Like I have seen Reels on Excel but need it slowed down or written down for me (is there a good Excel book or one of those laminated foldable thingies?). Now, I need to program more and more if/thens and I feel like I am doing things at a JV level and probably could learn more than would result in things at work being easier / faster.
Anon
I could really use this as well! I have figured out the tasks I actually need it for, but I have a feeling I’m missing a lot of functionality that would make things easier. Especially when it comes to formatting — most of what I use it for is to organize non-numerical data.
DC Pandas
I live in excel- and still find plenty of formulas that I’ve never seen or used before!
I’d highly recommend starting with public library or workplace resources for follow-along excel trainings. I prefer video instruction over books. This will give you a good base to “know what you don’t know”. Going forward, some entry level VBA/macros might be useful depending on how repetitive your actions in excel are. For example, if you’re always reformatting columns and relabeling headers, you could write a macro to do that for you with less clicks!
I’m quite fond of my excel shortcuts notepad, I’ll link it below.
DC Pandas
https://excel-dictionary.com/products/excel-shortcut-mousepad
This one is supposedly sold out, but I’m sure you could find similar elsewhere!
I also quite like “Miss Excel’s” weekly newsletter- she often covers a useful trick or two per week, which is a great pace for me!
https://miss-excel.beehiiv.com/p/mindset-shift-overcome-fear?utm_source=miss-excel.beehiiv.com&utm_medium=newsletter&utm_campaign=what-are-you-so-afraid-of&last_resource_guid=Post%3A90c53e26-0e91-41bc-adb2-608e7fd450f6&jwt_token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWJzY3JpYmVyX2lkIjoiNjE4ZTViODQtNzVlMi00NzFlLWI4MTEtYTg1YTEzYTk1YjJjIiwiZXhwIjoxNzA1NzY2NzY1LCJpc3MiOiJodHRwczovL2FwcC5iZWVoaWl2LmNvbSIsImlhdCI6MTcwNTU5Mzk2NX0.oCzBngkGq5w1QkoAqyTk_kmugzqDcuLGwF0-WGXvGRQ
Anon
I just Google whatever I’m trying to do in excel and usually find a dozen different sites that tell me how.
Anon
This is what I do as well.
Anon
I do also but I don’t know what I don’t know.
Anon
Same. I’m an Exceliac. I’m an actuary so Excel is more my first language than English. But I use google to figure out new to me formulae all the time! There’s really good stuff out there.
Anon
+1. I’m an Excel native speaker. When I have to do something particularly gnarly, I write out what I’m after on paper, then work out all the parts, googling as needed.
Any more, my first pass looks like C and eventually evolves into Excel syntax… but there’s no wrong way as long as you’re getting your thoughts out.
Anonymous
I am a pretty advanced excel user but have taken to asking bard or ChatGPT how to do something in excel. It will give me formulas or ways I wouldn’t think of on my own. It’s not always the most efficient route but it gets me headed in the right direction. It better than google because it will tailor it to your specific question.
NYNY
I adore excel, and basically do everything in it. I also prefer to read instructions over watching a video to learn a new skill. I’ve used Chandoo (chandoo.org) to learn how to use different formulas. There are videos, but also step-by-step instructions and images, so it’s good for different types of learners.
Sara
Can someone please dumb down car accident payments/insurance for me? I’m an attorney (in PA), my high school best friend (in IL) got into a car accident a couple years ago. She calls me to vent. I just listen and tell her I don’t understand and I’m sorry. And that’s all she needs from me as her friend. But personally, I am so confused. Bad accident- she got hit. The other driver died. Other driver was 100% at fault (witnesses and police report all agree). My friend has awful injuries, will have lifelong complications. Her PI attorney is saying she will get insurance policy limits, that surviving family has no assets to speak of, so her attorney takes 1/3 of the policy limits. Policies all told are $750k. Her medical bills are insane, so she’s looking at zero “cash” or “payment” when this is all done. We both hear and see the billboards talking about millions – is that only if Bill Gates hits you? I have realized I truly know nothing about insurance!
Anonymous
A close family member was in an accident with an under insured driver. Her auto insurance paid her medical bills until the max payout (make sure you have adequate insurance to protect you from uninsured or under insured drivers). Then, her health insurance kicked in. The other drivers insurance paid out their $20,000 max and walked away. She sued the driver, but he was around 20 and had no assets, so in the end she didn’t get anything. My understanding is your friend can sue the other driver’s estate, but if there’s no money, there’s no money.
Anon
+1000000 to “if there’s no money, there’s no money”
Anon
This. My cousin was killed by someone with no license (lost due to drunk / reckless driving) and then drove someone else’s car who had the state minimum insurance. They both walked away financially (both renters; no assets); I think the guy served a year in jail.
Anon
That’s often what happens. The only way to prevent the result to to get high uninsured/underinsured coverage and an umbrella policy for yourself.
Anonymous
PSA — if you do one thing for yourself and your family today, check on your uninsured and underinsured car insurance. Many, many drivers will have the minimum insurance required by law in your state. If someone doesn’t have any assets, it actually makes the most financial sense for them to carry the minimum, but that doesn’t help you. When someone carries the minimum, the insurance company will frequently just pay off and walk away. It’s worth an email to your insurance company.
Anon
+1. I have a large umbrella policy to protect myself since I have assets in case of an accident that is my fault. I also have the max uninsured/underinsured coverage.
Anonymous
Yes, I mean…who should she be suing? If the other party has no assets and she reached the cap on the other party’s policy I think that’s it. What assets would she get? And how is it the surviving family’s fault anyway?
Her own medical insurance should be picking up some of the bills though, that is largely contingent on circumstances.
Flipped situation, it’s your fault and you die. Should someone go after anything beyond your personal assets? Should your mother lose her house?
In many states there are minimum coverage laws for this reason. And I’m really sorry she’s been so impacted.
Anon
My dad always used to say “you can’t get blood from a turnip.” If the person who hits you is broke, the recovery is limited, unfortunately.
Anon
Also an attorney in PA, and I always have to scoff at those commercials. You have to be really, really lucky to get those types of judgments and actually be able to execute on them. We recently had a PI case in our office where the at fault driver’s policy limit was only $50k, and they, quite literally, had no assets to go after. Our clients had slightly better policies, but it was still under $300k. Pro tip: Stack your coverage! If they had paid the extra few dollars per month in coverage, we could have stacked their coverage, and they would have received a lot more from their own policy.
Anon
Can you explain what you mean by that? I’m very risk averse and would definitely do something like that, but I have no idea if I am.
Anon
See above, get uninsured and underinsured coverage on your own auto policy and an umbrella that drops down if your claim is worth more than that.
Anon
Stacking coverage is for people that have more than one insured vehicle under one policy or have more than one policy. It would apply if you are involved in an accident with an uninsured or underinsured driver. So, say you have two vehicles insured under your policy. Each vehicle is insured for $250,000. You get into an accident and the other driver is at fault and has little or no insurance. If your policy is not stacked, you could only get $250,000 from your own policy. If you are stacked, you could combine those for $500,000. Check your policies and your state. Some states and policies allow it, favor it, don’t allow it, etc.
Anon
I’m confused. You’re an attorney but they never taught you the concept of “judgement proof” in law school? No matter how bad her injuries, you can’t get blood from a stone.
I assume that the attorney has filed a claim against the estate. Since things like life insurance aren’t assets that are distributed in probate, she won’t be able to attach that. I assume that any surviving spouse is not liable for the injuries but her attorney can advise her.
Not my area of law, but she might get some cash if it’s pain and suffering versus compensation for medical bills. Her attorney should also be advising her about Social Security disability if she can’t work or Medicaid eligibility if she is medically needy (which Illinois participates in).
Anonymous
+1 New York insurance attorney here. I probably forgot 95% of law school too but this is pretty basic; part of a big settlement is deep pockets. I wish the average person understood that your average personal injury plaintiff is not getting millions, even when they have real and lifelong injuries.
Anonymous
This is rude. No, not everyone learned about insurance law in law school?
Anon
Judgement proof is a concept for all types of civil litigation, not just insurance law. It’s something that should always be considered before suing someone
Anon
Yea, I have never practiced litigation and did not take any insurance classes in law school and I understand you can’t get money from someone who has none . . .
Anon
I never studied insurance law. It was a concept mentioned in torts, contracts, small business law, family law, and even bankruptcy. Not that we ever went in depth into it, just “the judgement is only worth what the defendant is worth.”
Anon
This is not helpful for your friend, but her situation is where Michigan’s insurance structure shines.
Anonymous
What is different about it? I’m not familiar.
Anon
Not the Anon above. Michigan is a no-fault state, so your insurance pays for your own accidents, regardless of who is at fault. IMHO, that’s a better system – if you want to have horribly low insurance, that only hurts yourself and doesn’t screw other people. (I live in a fault state and pay good money every single month to be protected if a bad driver has crappy low limits on their insurance.)
Anon
Please see my response below. I was referring to Michigan’s uninsured motorist coverage, not the no-fault piece.
Anon
Isn’t no-fault why NJ’s insurance is so expensive?
Anonymous
Hi! NY no fault attorney here. Can’t speak to Michigan but our system is absolutely the reason things are so expensive. It’s bonkers how much fraud occurs. Staged accidents, caused accidents, doctors who own shady medical companies controlled by criminals and disappear under mysterious circumstances, unnecessary procedures that I actually hope someone is lying about and didn’t actually perform.
But hey at least some old lady in the Bronx can’t sue without a broken bone. Thats sarcasm. I strongly dislike tort reform.
Anon
Sorry, I was referring to the uninsured motorist coverage. It used to be mandatory and is now optional, although far more people opted to keep the full coverage rather than dropping to a lower tier.
Because of this coverage, my family member who was injured in a life-altering way by a driver with no insurance has lifelong care that did not bankrupt our family. It is not “retire to a private island” money, but instead means that all medical bills related to the auto accident injuries that he incurs for the rest of his life will be covered.
This is different than no-fault insurance.
Anonymous
Anon at 102 here. UM insurance – and SUM insurance and APIP and med pay- is available here in NY too. We also have mviac if youre hit by an uninsured vehicle as a pedestrian. I’m surprised that Michiganders opted to keep additional coverage because my experience is that most people opt for the cheapest coverage possible. But maybe that’s just NY where everything is expensive in part because of our incredibly fraud laden no fault scheme. I’m glad it worked out for your family member.
I do think that no fault schemes tend to benefit deep pocketed wrong doers by taking the right to sue away from victims. I was surprised that anyone would sing their praises but it’s a big country. Maybe the poster above doesn’t have the option to purchase UM insurance in her state?
anon
Yes, it is tragic.
I have a family member that was hit by a driver who was 100% at fault, and carried the minimum insurance in the state of NY. My relative was nearly killed, hospitalized for 6+ months, never worked again and was severely disabled with terrible pain/horrific injuries for the rest of their life and in/out of the hospital with complications ongoing. Just an utter catastrophe.
The other driver’s car insurance immediately accepted responsibility at max benefits, and the knowledgeable hospitals/medical providers in NYC actually even sent their initial medical bills to the car insurance company directly (!) and that money was drained the first weekend my relative was in the ICU. Then for months…. years…. forever…. my relative was hit with thousands of dollars…. easily into millions…. of medical bills that their health insurance refused to pay because they knew an accident had occurred so it wasn’t the health insurance’s “responsibility”. We had to hire a lawyer to sort through all of this. So incredibly stressful…. The NYC driver that caused the accident had no $$ or additional insurance, so suing was not an issue. But simply keeping track of all the bills, who was supposed to pay for what, how to respond all to the scary letters, who to call when etc… was so stressful. You can’t rely upon most lawyers to take care of this suitable…. ours made a mess of it.
My relative had underinsured motor insurance, but even their own insurance didn’t want to pay out and stalled and stalled and we had to use the lawyer to get them to pay! And even when you have “stacked” insurance companies, it isn’t as good as it sounds. Read the fine print… Insurance companies have slowly (quietly….) changed the value of this. So for example, if you have a policy that says you get up to $500k for an accident, if you already received 100K from the other driver’s insurance, you can only get $400k from your own insurance. And then the lawyers get 1/3. And then the health insurance companies want ALL OF IT of course, to pay for every single hospital bill and medical expense ongoing for the rest of your life until there is no money left.
For catastrophic injuries, it is just devastating and you never receive what you deserve. The “lucky’ ones are the folks with small injuries who are lucky to have someone hit them who has a large policy limit / deep pockets and receives a lot for “pain and suffering” or lost wages etc.. That is not the norm.
So OP, it is really lovely of you to support your friend, who is suffering even more from the dealing with the financial/legal/insurance repercussions of her accident that will haunt her forever, in addition to her new medical problems. No one really understands, and it is just awful. And so unfair.
I also learned that there are many things that health insurance doesn’t cover when bad things happen. No wonder most people who are disabled are in poverty. A population that is really ignored.
anon
And after this happened, I realized how important it is to carry the absolute maximum insurance I can afford – to protect me, as well as anyone who could be injured by me or in my house (ex. umbrella policy).
Max it out ladies.
Anonymous
Most of those high dollar cases you see advertised are against trucking companies or other corporate actors. They are virtually never against an individual driver.
Anon
+1
If you’re going to get seriously hurt in a car, you want it to be from a commercial truck.
Anon
That is so sad.
Speaking as a non-attorney insurance professional here, I would assume her attorney is correct.
The limits are the limits. When liability limits are exceeded, then personal assets of the at-fault driver (Illinois is not a no-fault state) come into play, but if the estate has no assets, then that’s it.
Medical facilities always have a lien on any insurance proceeds, that’s normal. One thing your friend can ask her attorney to look into is a bill review. Her medical facilities are probably charging the top, non-negotiated rate and that will quickly erode her settlement.
Betsy
I know we have a deeply broken insurance system in this country, but doesn’t it seem crazy that your health insurance just gets to be like “not it!” and avoid kicking in when car insurance has such low limits in the context of a devastating injury? It leaves such a huge and devastating gap for someone going through such an awful experience. I’m so sorry for your friend.
Airbnb question
I have an Airbnb reserved in Florida for a weekend next month and the owner wants me to sign an indemnification form to provide a release for any claim related to staying on the property. Is this typical? I have stayed in airbnbs before but usually someone else reserves them and I pay my share so I haven’t dealt directly with owners before.
Anon
I’ve never done that and would be very unlikely to do so, that’s odd and suspect.
Cat
No- 100% not normal.
Anonymous
Stay in a hotel!
Anon
Definitely just stay in a hotel! For so many reasons, sketchy airbnb owners being just one of them. (And this one does sound super sketch.)
In-House Anon
I can’t remember the details, but I seem to recall having to agree to supplemental terms once when I once booked a rental through the Vacasa management company. All communication was done through Airbnb, though, and the terms were clear as to when the management company’s policies were superseded by Airbnb’s (e.g., “if you have booked directly through Vacasa, the cancellation policy is XX. If you booked through Airbnb, the cancellation policy displayed in the booking applies.”). This was all done at the time of booking, though, and the additional terms were mentioned in the Airbnb description.
Anonymous
Is it mentioned anywhere in the listing? If not then tell them per Airbnb policies you are not signing anything outside of the Airbnb platform or that was not described on the listing. If they have additional requirements then they need to cancel your reservation. It’s important that THEY cancel so you don’t get charged and also so Airbnb is alerted about the issue.
OP
Thank yall so much – this is all very helpful!
Anon
This is why I use Airbnb instead of VRBO. Last I checked (a few years ago), VRBO allowed this kind of nonsense from owners and Airbnb prohibited it. I would check the Airbnb terms.
Cat
+1 – VRBO you get all kinds of ridiculous lease-type cr-p from the owner or management company. No thanks.
SMC - San Diego
I have stayed at Airbnbs all over the world and have several friends who are hosts and I have never heard of anything like this. If it was not disclosed in the listing I would report them to Airbnb. And even if it was, I would never sign it.
SLC ATTY
I would be very skeptical of “rental agreements” that VRBO/Homestay/Airbnb operators request. Some are using these types of agreements to escape short-term rental prohibitions or regulations (such as paying hospitality taxes) by attempting to characterize the property as being used by a monthly residential tenant, rather than a short-term hospitality guest.
Christina
I recently rediscovered your blog because I’m in my first job that I need to wear suits recently. I’d love some insight on suits that look great on each kibbe type. I’m a soft classic and find that I’ve always look bad in blazers because of shoulder pads. I’m currently on the hunt for a mid-range blazer with little or no shoulder pads that’s more formal. If anyone has any brand recommendations or tips, please let me know. I’m willing to get my suit tailored.
Trixie
I suggest going to a big mall and trying on lots of blazers at JCrew, Talbots, Ann Taylor, any dept. store, etc. Find the cut you like, think about length, number of buttons, seams, pockets, etc. and then buy some suits! Def get them tailored…always makes a difference. And shoulder pads can be removed.
Anonymous
Should we go to Hawaii or New Zealand/Australia? Late 30s, no kids, have about 2 weeks from the East coast. We can go either in May or September. Prefer to stay around $20k for flight, hotel, car rental, but that’s flexible. We like hiking, scuba diving, and wine. I do not want to lounge on a beach and I do not like hot weather. Neither of us has been to either location. These are the two options we’ve narrowed it down to after much discussion so we’re not re-considering other options.
I would prefer to do some combination of Australia/NZ. I know it’s better to take at least 3 weeks but that’s not possible for us now or for the next few decades. I want to dive the Great Barrier Reef before it’s gone, that’s a bucket list item for me that I likely won’t be able to do in retirement. He wants to see the beautiful scenery and LOTR stuff in NZ. We both want to go to wineries. This is all technically possible but would require flights during a trip that already involves a lot of air travel.
Another negative is the flight cost. Aus/NZ is between $3.5-4k per person for premium economy. It’s over $2k for even basic economy. Business is out of the question at over $10k pp. I refuse to fly basic economy for over 24 hours of flight time. I cannot sleep sitting up so I will be completely wrecked after the flight, while DH will be bright eyed and bushy tailed. Hawaii is around $2k pp for business class, so I’d be able to sleep on lie flat seats. The hotels in Aus/NZ are cheaper than Hawaii so I think it would even out budget wise, but I would prefer to “see” my money by staying in fancy hotels vs having a slightly less miserable 24 hours in the air. We’re starting IVF soon so this will be a last hoorah of sorts for us. I’m so torn! Wwyd?
Cat
Aus & NZ without question
Lifer
+1
that’a my dream trip
Gail the Goldfish
Same. I too can never sleep on planes and just accept the first day is going to suck and try to plan something light for that day. I’ve done trips to China and Japan, which are not nearly as long of a flight as NZ, but still pretty substantial, and I just heavily caffeinate and power through the first day and go to bed at like 8 or 9 pm local time and then I’m ok. Just wouldn’t recommend driving the first day…
Anonymous
You can go to Hawaii with one week. No question Australian and New Zealand. Just go Sydney/Great Barrier Reef and then to NZ.
NYCer
+1. Taking little kids to Hawaii (even from the east coast) is also much easier than taking kids to NZ.
anon
Do mock bookings for the airfare class, hotel class, car rental etc. and if Aus/NZ stay within your 20k budget then you have your answer. It sounds like it’s what you want, and you’re just concerned about costs.
Anon
I can’t sleep on planes either and the thought of feeling totally destroyed and having the first couple days of my trip ruined because of jet lag, etc, is the one of the major reasons I don’t think I would go to Australia!
Anonymous
Imagine skipping the adventure of a lifetime cause you might be tired for a day or two!
Anon
Eh if you’re spending 20k it’s reasonable to go somewhere you think you’re going to enjoy more. That’s a lot of money!
Anon
I hate flying and the thought of spending 24 hours on plane is not enjoyable for me. Even for a “trip of a lifetime.”
OP
Ha I’m honestly more concerned about the difference in energy levels between me and DH. I will be a turtle and he will be a golden retriever. I’m usually not a snapping turtle, at least, but he’s become pretty attuned to my mood over the years and I don’t want to drag him down.
No Problem
I would personally take some Benadryl on the flight to get some amount of sleep, plan a very light first day on arrival, and pop more Benadryl at 8 or 9 pm local time the first night and just crash. I wouldn’t be 100% the next day but would certainly be feeling much better after 10+ hours of sleep. Your husband can go explore the hotel gym if he’s got lots of energy that first day.
anon
Not the OP, but Benadryl doesn’t let me sleep on planes. Benadryl works for me otherwise, but only makes me groggy on a plane. I just assume I will get no sleep, try and zone out to an audio book or podcast for a bit with my eyes closed. And power through the first day when I get
there.
Nesprin
Try unisom, or go to your doctor and get a scrip for a couple of ambien.
Also if your spouse is up and at em first day, great! You sleep it off, he goes and has fun and you meet up for dinner.
Anon
I have a paradoxical reaction to benadryl (which is the same drug as Unisom) where it makes me jittery and not sleepy. This is fairly common and would make for a miserable flight if that’s how you react to it. Definitely do a trial at home before you try it on a long-haul flight.
Anon
My kids react the same way to Bendaryl/Unisom – hyper not sleepy. Our ped said it’s very common!
Anonymous
You don’t have to do all your activities together. DH usually does a mountain biking tour or something on the first day of vacation and I sleep and do a massage or half spa day.
I travel internationally every year with my 3 kids and highly recommend Aus/NZ. Europe and the Americas are much easier with kids because of the flight times.
NY CPA
It’s a massive time difference. I get messed up due to the time difference either way, whether I fly business class or not. I would not plan to do much if anything the first day you’re there.
Anon
Yes, this! Forget the sleeping on the plane part, it’s the time difference that would do me in. I have trouble with three hours from east coast to west coast!
Anonymous
I might plan a light day, but I’d plan to be up during the first Australian day when you arrive in order to acclimate. Take it from someone who visited family there twice as a teen, did not get help/good advice, and wasted most of her trips sleeping into the afternoon then watching Good Morning America while everyone else in the house slept. (Yes, my family just allowed me to sleep the daytime away most days on both trips. Ugh.)
Anon
Aus/NZ because Hawaii is very doable in a week (even from the east coast, even with kids). I would book regular (not basic) economy over premium economy. Premium economy is basically a slightly wider seat and better food – it’s not worth $2k more per person. Business class is worth it, but I hear you that the price is out of your reach – it’s often out of mine too, unless we can use points.
Anon
If you do not want to lounge on a beach and you don’t like hot weather, I cannot imagine why Hawaii is even on your list for consideration. That is what you go there for.
Anonymous
Have you been to Hawaii? I can’t imagine going to Hawaii all the way from the East Coast if all you’re going to do is lounge at the beach. The Caribbean is way closer for that type of vacation. I love Hawaii so much, but for hiking, volcanoes, snorkeling, etc.
Anon
Yes, about 50 times, I love Hawaii and I go to hang out on the beach. I strongly dislike hiking there.
Anonymous
But it will be hot, which she said she doesn’t want.
Anon
Where are you flying from and when? Over $2k for basic economy sounds really high.
Anon
I think she means normal economy (“basic economy” doesn’t exist on long haul international flights) and it’s not unheard for Australia. I was trying to plan a trip from a major US airport (ORD) and was seeing economy prices above $2k.
Walnut
On this note, I think United is opening up more flights to Australia and New Zealand, so maybe there are some lower priced options.
Anon
United was where I saw the $2k economy from ORD, fwiw.
Anona
I see tickets for less than $800pp regularly on Going (previously Scott’s Cheap Flights). We got one of those deals on Quantas a few years ago and it was a great experience. Highly recommend signing up and watching for deals. I use the premium version, and just one ticket saves me the cost of a subscription.
Anon for this
Hi! From Hawaii… would suggest NZ, which I have been twice for 2 weeks each. No real wineries in Hawaii, whereas Hawkes Bay, Marlborough and other areas in NZ is known for wine. The hiking is also so beautiful and quiet. Hawaii can be packed- especially Oahu. Don’t forget NZ seasons are the opposite of Northern Hemisphere though… NZ both islands maybe 5 or 6 stops is do-able in 2 weeks. So beautiful and diverse. Hawaii you can visit anytime with kids. NZ is a trek so would suggest! Driving in NZ is on the opposite side, so takes some getting used to especially when turning and driving through roundabouts, but worth it.
Anon
Just another thought, if you’re looking for mild weather and wineries, I’d go to Napa/Sonoma. 5-6 hour flight from the east coast that won’t eat up as ,inch of your budget that you can then blow on resort hotels, great dinners, wine tasting and bike rides. September is a gorgeous time of year here and May is decent but can be rainy. May will be cheaper than September though for that reason.
NYCer
But you can go to Napa for a long weekend. If OP has 2 weeks and is looking for a last big trip hurrah before kids, it doesn’t seem worth it to “just” go to Napa.
Anon
I mean I agree if you’re in the Bay Area but if you’re going from the east coast it’s an easy way to do the things she’s interested in without the long flights and time changes.
Anonymous
Such a waste of two weeks.
Anon
YMMV but hard disagree. You can couple it with going to SF, the coast, and just relax.
Anon
Yeah, I do a lot of international travel, to the point that I almost feel kind of jaded about travel within the US, but I still think Napa + California coast would be an amazing last trip before kids. You could stay at the Post Ranch Inn in Big Sur and there are some amazing luxury hotels in Napa as well. Plus so much good food and wine. Multi-course tasting menus with wine pairings is such a hard thing to do with kids.
I get that Australia is a lot farther away, but with all the nature and wildlife, it’s actually an amazing destination for kids in elementary school and above. Napa is going to bore kids to tears and even the best behaved 10 year olds I know would have trouble sitting through a 3 hour meal, so I think there’s a real argument for doing that kind of trip.
Anonymous
If you are thinking about kids, go to Australia/NZ. You will never get to go if you don’t go now. Unless maybe your kid studies abroad there.
Anon
My parents took me when I was in early elementary school! It’s totally possible to take kids, and is an awesome place for kids to visit.
Anon
Yes, Hawaii is easier to do with kids, but for a last big hurrah it’s important you both love and enjoy the trip and if you think the jetlag will prevent you from enjoying Australia, it’s ok to go to Hawaii. My husband and I did something that is objectively pretty easy with kids (Italy) for our last trip before TTC and it was wonderful and special and we still think back on it really fondly even though it was not even close to the furthest or most exotic place we could have gone. Actually the previous year we went to Thailand and although there were great moments, overall that trip was hard and complicated, so I’m REALLY glad that we went somewhere very easy and relaxing for our “last hurrah.”
Also unless you want a lot of kids or want them spaced very far apart, you won’t have babies and toddlers for long. Elementary aged kids are super easy to travel with. My parents took me to Australia and New Zealnd when I was 7 and I think I just read books for the entire flight. And I have great memories of the trip. My 5 year old is already pretty easy to travel with and has been to Europe multiple times and will go to South Africa next year when she’s 7.
Anonymous
Fly to LA. Get a solid nights sleep at a hotel, fly to Aus/NZ direct from LA.
DC Pandas
I also cannot sleep on planes and found the jet lag for NZ/AUS to be surprisingly manageable- we took a red-eye from DC to SFO then onto AUK just after midnight on the West Coast. I probably slept for 40 mins over the entire flight. The first day was a bit of a jumble, but I felt 80% by day 2. Worse jet lag for me on the way home, but manageable with a day-off and caffeine.
For wine tasting: Waiheke in Auckland harbor was lovely.
Great Barrier reef: we took a day snorkel trip out from Cairns. Definitely recommend being prepared with motion-sickness meds, as everyone who didn’t take any puked on the way out to the reef.
txanon
Just an option/thought, does Turkish Air fly the Aus/NZ route for you? I recently flew Turkish Air economy to Egypt instead of paying for premium economy and TA let us buy an extra seat for 75% of the price of my ticket for the whole trip. We booked a row of 3 seats (the middle open) so lots of space to spread out during the flight. In total, for two including the extra seat it was 2.7k for TA vs. 3.8 for premium economy,
Anonymous
I did just NZ for about 2 weeks and spent less than $10K for 1 person. One thing to remember is that the exchange rate in NZ is very much in your favor (around $.60) so that’s going to help a lot, but petrol is expensive so get a small car if you’re driving. You won’t be able to see both islands in that time frame so be picky about what you want to do. I’ve also spent around a week in Sydney which was more than enough time. I don’t know that you can do both countries in 2 weeks unless you want to just see Sydney and say Auckland. I flew premium (not first) to both places. I think it’s worth it on long haul flights more than any other flight for the extra leg room. I don’t care as much on domestic flights, but if I’m on a plane for 10+ hours, I’d like to be as comfortable as I can afford to be.
Runcible Spoon
I visited New Zealand for a little over one week, and went to several locations on both the North and South Islands. I flew into Auckland, and immediately transferred (via airport shuttle-type van) to Rotorua, enjoying the warm springs and a Maori culture dinner show. I then flew (via domestic Air NZ) to Queenstown, where I purchased an excursion to fly out to Milford Sound for a half-day boat excursion up and down the sound. I then flew to Napier, where I enjoyed sight seeing the Art Deco architecture and fed sardines to penguins at the National Aquarium. I then flew from Napier to Auckland to catch the outbound flight home. So, it’s do-able, even for about one week, so for two weeks you can probably slip in a visit to the Great Barrier Reef (but nothing else really in Australia). Nothing wrong with visiting a couple of distant countries and limiting your visit to highlights.
anonchicago
I’m seriously considering buying a treadmill. I have an on again/off again relationship with running but think it would help keep me motivated through the winter and get more workouts in now that I have a baby at home.
I have a Peloton which was used pretty heavily from 2020-2022 and now is used maybe weekly. The treadmill needs to fit in the same fenced off area as the Peloton to maintain a play area for my daughter.
I’m overwhelmed looking at treadmill options. I’d like the Peloton Tread but it’s a bit pricey. Really just want something that doesn’t wobble and has bluetooth connectivity for Apple Watch and Peloton metrics. Folding would be nice but not a must have. Thoughts?
Anonymous
I think you should use the peloton you have instead of wasting money on a new machine you also won’t use.
Anon
+10000000
Anonymous
I disagree with this – I have both the peloton bike and tread. I got the bike first, but was also historically a runner. I love the tread. I use it daily. I use the bike on occasion. I personally though am all about investing in health/being active.
anonchicago
That’s a fair point, however I’m trying to get back into running and it’s just too cold out right now. My DH and I do use the Peloton; it has at least 1,000 rides on it between the two of us. I’ve actually gotten more into biking outside as a result of the Peloton, which results in me using it less (if that even makes sense) and want some variety in my home gym.
Anon
Costco had some reasonably priced treadmills that have connectivity and fold up when not in use.
Anonymous
Following. I need to fix a lot of things in our basement before I get a hard-to-move treadmill, but friends have been very happy with their NordicTrack.
Anon
I have a Nordic Track 2450 that I bought in the early summer of 2020 when gyms were closed due to Covid. I was using it this morning — we have ice on the streets right now –and just thinking that it was truely one of the best purchases of my life. Since the white glove set up service was not working when I had it delivered it was dropped on my porch. My husband and our burley neighbor hiked it down to the basement and my teenage son and I assembled it. It doesn’t connect to my apple watch, but I use indoor walk or indoor run and it get the statistics just fine. I have an iFit membership — the first 3 years were free with the purchase, and I just renewed recently, but I rarely use it, so I’m not sure if I’ll pay again in a year. I do bump my head on the low basement ceiling if I crank the incline all the way up, but I can easily use it up to almost the top of the incline, so I just watch which number I use.
Anon
I bought a cheap one from Amazon that stands up against the wall when I am not using it and I love it. No bells and whistles but works great and can double as a walking pad under my standing desk when I take work home.
Jane
Would you be able to please share a link? I have now bought and returned 2 because of lack of portability, so couldnt be stored or moved easily and function issues.
FP
If you have the ability to pick up / move a treadmill, I found my used but excellent condition Peloton tread for about half price via Facebook Marketplace. I love my Peloton bike but couldn’t justify the treadmill price tag – and I am a person who needs the class structure for exercise. This seemed like a good option. I paid $1800 for the regular Tread (not Tread+) and my husband had a truck and a friend to help move.
Anonymous
My husband and I are both big runners and got the top of the line Nordic track a few years ago. We absolutely love it. No need to do the ifit membership- we don’t. It is Bluetooth comparable and has incline and decline capabilities. It is pretty big so I don’t know if it would fit in your space but we really love it and think it was money well spent.
Horizon 7.4
So late to this, but I just got a Horizon 7.4 in November. Seamlessly connects to both my Peloton app and my Apple Watch so all my metrics are in the Peloton app. Fold up nicely, has a big motor, not huge footprint, and it adjusts incline and speed really easy. Highly Recommend.
Anonymous
If this sweater had been wool or silk, it would have been a yes, please, for me, but not in poly and acrylic blend.
Anonymous
Same. I am so sick of plastic clothes.
Anon
Amen.
Anon
Me too.
Anon
They pill so fast and don’t look all that great even when new.
Older Gen X
Conversely, if it had been wool, I would not be able to wear it 90% of the year (I live in Southern California) and if it was silk it would need to be hand-washed or dry-cleaned, not to mention being quite thin. And you would be extremely unlikely to get either at this price.
Look – I am not here to police other people’s comments but there is someone (or multiple someones) who post this comment basically every time something that is not natural fibers is featured. And I get it. But some of us prefer to have clothing we can throw in the washing machine and where we do not have to worry about snags, spills and stains because our top cost $$$$.
Anonymous
While your point about machine vs hand washing is fair, I find that polyester hangs on to odours in a way natural fibres don’t so for me having to hand wash a garment once a week is a price I’m willing to pay.
The same with spills. I worry less about my natural fibre clothes. I have a cube of fer a cheval soap that is great for removing spills.
You do you, no judgement at all, it’s just that there is a reason some of us would like to see more natural fibre options.
Anon
I pop my wool sweaters in the machine on the gentle cycle with wool wash and they are fine.
Some of us don’t think of clothing as disposable.
Anonymous
Wool/silk person here. Your climate sounds so lovely, I’m absolutely envious. Where I’m at, there are minus F degrees, and I’m so over the snow and chill, I’d love to be in Southern California! It’s the opposite here, I use wool 90 % percent of the year (probably 95 %), and polyester is always just either cold or sweaty.
I do machine wash all wool and silk, though, delicate wash and hang dry is my regular set-up throughout the year. The only thing I steam and air is cashmere, my machine eats those. If you have to hand wash natural fibers, I get why that would be very annoying. You’re getting a better deal on the weather, though, I would really love some sun and heat right now. <3
Hollis
I bought a planner like I do each year, but the version I bought this year has a bunch of blank pages for notes that I can’t rip out. For those of you who use paper planners, what type of notes do you put into your planner pages, if any? I normally keep a separate to do notebook so I don’t need it for that purpose. Thanks.
Cat
I don’t use a planner but I do keep a chronological notes file on my phone of helpful hints for the next time I do a repeat thing, but that thing is too far off to just use mental notes. like we’ve returned to the same rental property a few times because we love most things about it, but it has bad patio lighting and we like to read outside at night , so I finally wrote down upon coming home, ‘bring led lamps’ for that month next year.
Anon
To do lists, grocery lists, etc
Anon
My notes pages have future planning (2 to 3 years out), lists of measurements — like room sizes, books I want to read and their upcoming publication dates, notes on future knitting projects, and a list of potential day/weekend trips that dh and I want to take. Oh, I also have a bunch of my mil’s medical info in there as well.
Anon
I use it for my budget. I’m a paper-and-pencil type, which most people probably aren’t anymore, but I track spending on a page per month. I also forecast big ticket items per month, keep track of donations/other deductions, etc. When I sit down to review finances or do taxes, I much prefer having a hard copy I can flip through than have to open 100 tabs on my computer and log in places. (I leave my planner at home, so no risk of losing it somewhere.)
Betsy
I use a page to keep track of books I hear about that I want to read.
Anonymous
I use my note pages for reminders, wish lists, tracking lists…pretty much anything I need to have on hand.
Anonymous
I totally get you on not wanting to place any ol’ note /list in the planner that you keep all year.
How about “running list” type of lists rather than a temporary to-do list where you complete tasks?
-favorite food orders at restaurants
-ideas long term projects at home (ie eventually replace xyz)
-checklists for packing/travel (ie things to grab the morning of—-chargers, mouth guard, glasses. What to bring to the beach. What to always keep in your toiletries bag)
– lessons learned / reminders for your future self
-gift ideas: for others (and if you buy presents early, where you hid them) and for yourself
-clothing sizes and preferences (for family, for yourself in different brands)
-long term shopping lists (I have a list of wants that I keep an eye on for clearance and black friday/cyber monday. And a list of items to keep an eye on at thrift stores and estate sales)
Family of 4 travel budget questions
(TW $$$ talk/champagne problems, please skip if not for you)
Hi! So, I really want to focus on traveling in the next ten years because my oldest kiddo is already 12. I want to save up for both awesome big trips and some more medium-sized getaways. The thing is, I kinda stink at planning vacations and I have no clue about the costs involved. (And I get sticker shock really easily so I’m trying to budget enough so I won’t be surprised.) Can you please take a look at these budgets and let me know if they seem reasonable for a family of four? My kids are currently 9 and 12 years old, we’re coming from the Midwest and closest big hub is probably Chicago, Pittsburgh, or Detroit. Thanks!
– 1 big vacation every 2 years – $25K (Japan? South Africa? long Italian vacation?)
– 1 medium vacation on alternate years – $7500 + $2500 for smaller trips (like driving to cities 2-3 hours away/last minute trips) (so $10K total) (could we do a 4-7 day trip to Paris, Switzerland, Iceland, or Germany with this budget?)
– 1 “big getaway” for my husband and myself for 2-3 days every 2 years – $7000 (like Napa? Iceland? Caribbean?)
– 1 smaller getaway for my husband and myself for 2-3 days (domestic/local) on alternate years – $4000 (Chicago, New Orleans, NYC, etc)
I had somehow thought we could do a “somewhere warm/beach” vacation sometime in December – April with this $10k budget, but is that unrealistic? how should I adjust/add to my budget?
(asking because we’re trying to work with a travel planner and a 4-day spring break trip to Cancun (Dreams Sapphire) is being priced at $6000 for flight+stay … i’m not sure if that $4k left in this year’s budget would let us go anywhere even domestic like a ranch or a national park (with hotels, we don’t camp).
(and yes we’re still maxing out all retirement + 529s + HSA with this budget)
thanks in advance
Romance reader
We (singe mom + tween daughter) travel a lot and budget about the same: $15K-$20K/year for one big trip (incudes visiting family overseas); $10K/year for one smaller trip; $2K/year for 1-2 domestic getaways.
Anon
The $25k budget for the big vacation seems high to me – I mean, spend it if you’ve got it, no judgment. but it’s definitely possible to take a family of 4 to Japan or Italy for two weeks for a lot less than $25k if you fly economy and don’t stay in ultra luxury hotels. Maybe S. Africa would get into that region if you want the $$$$ safari lodges, but I still think it’s high. What pushes trips of less than two weeks above $20k is usually business class flights.
I think the prices vary by destination much more than you’re considering. I think you’ll spend a lot more in the Caribbean than Napa. It depends what kind of hotels you want, I guess, but personally for domestic hotels I’m ok with clean and comfortable but not fancy, whereas for a Caribbean resort (especially an all-inclusive one) I want to splurge on a high end resort for nice views and good food.
I can tell you our typical costs although of course there is some variation outside this range.
Caribbean: $1k/person flights + $500-$1000/night for hotel = $6,500-9,500 for family of 3 for one week
Europe: $1,500/person flights + $200-400/night for hotel = ~$6,000-7,500 for family of 3 for one week
Domestic: $300-500/person flights + $200-300/night for hotel = ~$2,500-3,500 for a family of 3 for one week, obviously less if only two of us are traveling or if we’re only going for a long weekend
We haven’t done travel outside North America, Caribbean and Europe with our kid yet, but will be spending ~$20k on a south Africa trip next year, but that includes one ~$7-8k business class flight bought with cash (the rest are being bought with points).
anon
Eh, i just priced out flights for 4 to Asia and it was $12k on premium economy. Hotel will be around 4-5k for 3star hotels i think. prices are just high
Anon
Regular economy is probably only about half that though. I’m not a believer in premium economy (the perks are extremely minimal for the added cost vs. business class which is hideously expensive but at least a huge upgrade from economy). Personally I don’t know anyone who regularly flies premium economy except when work is paying. They fly business if they can afford it or have miles to burn, otherwise they just suck it up and fly economy.
It definitely depends on where you’re going (luxury hotels in Vietnam or Thailand are going to be much cheaper than budget hotels in Singapore), but our annual travel budget is normally around $25-30k and we get 3-4 weeklong international trips and a few domestic long weekends out of that. Spending $20k+ on a single trip is pretty unfathomable to me, even for a family of 4, except for a few very expensive bucket list items like Antarctica or safari.
Anonymous
The challenge is going to be flights. They’ve been all over the map this year. Earlier this year I booked a 2.5 hour flight that used to be $200 and it was $1k. Same airline, same time, flight is always fully booked. That said, I think your budget for weekend couples trips is quite high and your budget for family trips is low. I also wouldn’t try to do Iceland in 3 days unless you’ve already been and just want to spend more time at a specific place.
Senior Attorney
Agree. We did 5 days in Iceland and felt like it wasn’t enough.
Anon
Maybe start by making a list of places you want to visit with your family, both domestic and international, and then a list of places that you want to do with just your husband as a getaway.
It seems like the limiting factor is vacation time, and throwing money at it ($7,000 for a 2 day getaway to Iceland??) won’t much change that. Maybe reconfigure things so that you get more out of your travel time, even if it’s fewer trips per year.
Consider: Chicago to Iceland nonstop is six hours. Add in travel to the airport, arriving early for international departure, checking in, clearing customs in Iceland, travel from airport in Iceland to your destination, and that’s a minimum of 20 hours round trip. Given that you list Pittsburg and Detroit as close-enough travel hubs, I’m guessing you live near Toledo or Cleveland, which means that you’re really spending 25 to 30 hours traveling for a 48 hour stay in Iceland.
Anon
I wouldn’t go to Iceland for less than about 5 days, but Iceland is not 20 hours from Chicago!
I live 2.5 hours from the O’Hare airport, and it took us less than 12 hours door to door when we went this summer. We left our house around 4 pm Chicago time and we were checked into our Reykjavik hotel at 9:30 am local time, which is 3:30 am in Chicago.
Anon
20 hours round trip, sorry if that wasn’t clear. And she isn’t from Chicago….
Anon
Oh I see, I misread. I’m not from Chicago either, I’m from central Indiana… but O’Hare is such a hub it’s often worth the long drive there to get a non-stop flight, especially for international flights. I assumed the OP was in a similar boat living several hours from a big hub airport, but maybe I’m misunderstanding.
I wouldn’t go to Iceland for only 2-3 days but I do think Europe can often work out for 4-5 days because the outbound flight is overnight, so you don’t lose a day of travel. And Iceland in particular is closer and i the summer you have so much daylight so you can pack a lot of stuff into the day.
Anon
Anon at 12:22, I addressed all of that in my first comment. I explicitly said that it was a round trip 20+ hours, factored in a direct flight from Chicago (looked that up online), and factored in the drive to/from the airport. In your excitement to let me know that you have Been To Iceland (!!!!!), you completely missed every point I made.
Anon
Why so hostile? I acknowledged that I misread that you meant 20 hours roundtrip. You said “OP isn’t from Chicago” so I was just saying I’m not from Chicago either. It’s not super clear but I read the OP as saying she is in a similar situation to me, living several hours away by car from a major hub airport like O’Hare or Detroit, from which she could likely get a non-stop flight to Europe. Maybe I’m misunderstanding OP about where she lives (I wish people would just use specifics in posts like this!), but I’m not arguing with you. I personally feel like going to Iceland for only a few days can be worth it, even though it takes me (as you said) >20 hours roundtrip to get there. I don’t think I’m special because I’ve been to Iceland, lol. Half this board has been to Iceland.
Anon
Since those are adults only trips, I think the limiting factor is likely childcare, not vacation time. But OP, you should send your kids to sleepaway camp and travel then.
Anonymous
I was going to ask if OP had factored in costs of childcare. Perhaps there is family who will just stay in the house, in which case it is negligible. But hiring help/sleepaway camp would be extra (unless camp is already in the budget elsewhere).
Anonymous
We do “somewhere warm” wiht a 5 person family every February break (we ski in Dec). You can keep it under $10k if you stick to either less popular weeks OR locations. We are going to Puerto Rico over feb break, not turks and caicos. We are at $2500 for airfare for 5, $2k for our airbnb,$500 for car rental. So $5k before restaurants and fun beyond what we’d normally spend in a week. If we’d stayed at the conquistator (which was booked), I’d be closer to $9k.
A.n.o.n.
I have similarly aged kids and similar stats (and I’m also trying to travel more!)
I think your numbers may be a bit optimistic with current airfare prices for your family trips maybe pop on Kayak to get an idea of what just flights cost as it shocks me – for ex, we paid $7K on flights alone for a spring break trip with connections to Costa Rica. not sure if this would be a medium or big trip in your eyes, but it worked out to about $15k total for 7 nights for 4. vacationing for 4 full size people is unfortunately just really expensive (btw flights and additional hotel beds).
ymmv depending on the type of accommodations, your tolerance for traveling in off peak times/seasons, and willingness to have connections in your flights.
Anonymous
The biggest factor for a family of 4 for a lot of those is going to be ticket prices if you’re going somewhere you have to fly. And for that, I would say it just depends on what airfares are doing at any given moment. If you can get tickets $500 a piece to Paris, then yes, I think you could do $7500 for a week trip to Paris, but if it’s $1000 a person, it’s going to be more challenging. Otherwise I think that’s probably realistic for something, depending on how fancy of accomodations you want. You can do a national park for $4k, depending on which park and where you stay. Lodging in the more popular parks is $$$ to stay inside the parks (especially relative to what you get). You can stay outside the parks for much more reasonable prices, but it’s going to mean more driving time for most of them.
anon
Putting aside all questions of money, your 12 year old probably doesn’t have ten years of family vacations left before they launch. My SIL just graduated high school last year and her mother’s biggest regret is that it really does seem to be the end of them routinely traveling together. So I would guess that you have maybe 6 years left, and that’s assuming your kids don’t get into travel teams. My advice? Think about what do you want to do with your kids before they are gone, then go and do that.
Anon
Yeah I didn’t want to be a Debbie Downer but by high school a lot of people start skipping family vacations because of the demands of sports or academics. And teenagers are generally much more interested in seeing their friends than their family members. If all their friends are doing something fun over spring break, there will be resistance to a family spring break trip.
That said, they’ll boomerang at some point and want to travel with you again. I’m 38 and LOVE traveling with my mom (especially if she’s paying, lol. Jk, jk, I love it no matter what).
Anonymous
Counterpoint: I have a kid in high school with lots of activities, camps, etc., and we’ve always been able to do a weeklong family vacation in the summer or over spring break. If you plan around the kid’s commitments, no kid is going to turn down a trip to Paris or whatever unless their parents are awful and no fun to travel with.
Anon
Heh, I would have turned down trips to Europe with my parents if it had been an option. They weren’t awful people, I just think it’s pretty normal teenage behavior to rather be with friends than family.
Anon
Yeah, my family never had the budget for the types of international trips you’re talking about, but whole family trips basically stopped once I was in high school (I was the oldest). I had a job and sports teams with training over breaks and wasn’t interested in going on trips other than to see family. I did do a college visit trip with just my parents and once I was in college on the east coast, my family took a few trips out to visit me and did additional travel while they were there, but my break schedule was different than theirs, so I didn’t participate in most of it. I was busy with my own travel or internships on my breaks and almost never came home other than for Christmas. So I’d really try to make the most of the next couple years, because it will be a lot harder as kids get older and busier.
Anon
Same. We traveled a lot, but I don’t recall many actual family vacations in high school. I went to some awesome sleepaway camps and to France with my high school French class, and we went to visit my maternal grandparents in New England every summer, but I can’t think of any family vacation in high school other than visiting my grandparents, until the summer after high school when I backpacked around Europe with a friend and my parents met me in Iceland on the way home.
SMC - San Diego
Conversely, my daughter and I took a weeklong trip to Paris in September to celebrate her graduation from college. (A year delayed because she had a job that started the week after graduation.) And while Covid put a damper on travel, we routinely traveled together when we could throughout the time she was in school – which ranged from a week in Spain pre-pandemic to a week in Palm Springs for spring break as it was easing. The real end – at least in the short term – was her getting a full-time job since she has limited vacation time and I cannot reasonably expect her to spend most of it with me (although she is tentatively a yes for the November trip). But then family travel was always a big part of our lives; I routinely travel with my parents and have for the past 30 years.
To answer OP’s question: This is really hard to answer without knowing your travel style. Are you $250/night Airbnb people or are you $500 per night per hotel room people (knowing you will need two rooms)? Can you fly economy or will you be unable to walk for two days after 15 hours squished into a tiny seat? I have never taken a European vacation that cost anything like that much but the 10 days I am spending in Italy in the spring has total housing costs of $3,550 for three people and $3,400 for RT airfare. We are not fancy restaurant people and will mostly travel by bus/train/ferry rather than private driver, so our biggest expense once we are there will be private guides for two days. But I recognize that is not everyone’s preference.
The one thing I would suggest to everyone who want to fly: sign up for Google Flights alerts. Our airfare dipped for about 24 hours and then went up, which saved us about $400 per person.
SMC - San Diego
ETA: We also traveled together extensively starting from age 4, but my daughter was not an athlete and her activities did not prevent her from taking off Thanksgiving week, spring break, or a few weeks over the summer. She usually spent 1-2 weeks visiting family without me in the summer but we still did at least one weeklong trip together every year alternating domestic and international locations.
The best compliment I may have ever gotten from her was that I had done “A+ spring break planning!”
Anon
I love this :) I started taking mother-daughter trips with mine when she was 4 also, and I really hope she still wants to travel with me when she’s a teen!
Anon
It sounds like it was just you and her? I had two significantly younger brothers, and two parents so a trip that appealed to all five of us was just much harder to plan than a two person trip. It was a much harder sell to get me to skip out on my other obligations just spend a trip bickering with my little brothers and doing things that appealed to tween boys.
Anon
And I definitely don’t mean that as a knock on SMC – San Diego, a mother-daughter trip sounds great (at least if you travel well with your mother, mine has the polar opposite travel style to me, so we’re absolutely terrible travel partners), just that age and gender dynamics probably make a big difference in how likely your family is to travel well together. If my siblings had been closer in age and we’d had more similar personalities, travel probably would have been more appealing. Ironically, we actually travel fairly well together now, while all having a terrible time with our mother, who is a very nice person and more experienced traveler than any of us, but just not on the same page about what and how to do things.
SMC - San Diego
It is just the two of us, although often accompanied by some combination of my parents or my sister/her kids. I have learned over time that the secret is to be sure that every person gets one day where (within the limits of budget) we do what they want to do and everyone else goes along with it OR picking a location where everyone can go do their own thing and then come together for dinner. (Beach locations are good for this.)
Every family is unique and this is not meant to imply that everyone can/will/wants to spend vacations with their family members. I love some of my family members but would never vacation with them. I am just providing a counterpoint to posters saying that they did not travel with their family starting in high school. I have regularly traveled with my parents my entire adult life. My 23-year-old daughter traveled with me from early childhood until last year (and is planning to accompany the rest of the family to Tahiti in November). Everyone is different.
SMC - San Diego
Anon@ 2:55 – No offense taken! When I say I travel with my parents, I mean my mother and stepfather. l love my dad and his wife but they would not be at the top of my list of people to travel with!
anecdata
Those seem very reasonable to me, with a few things to keep in mind
– no idea what inflation will look like for travel costs 10 yrs from now
– your kids are likely just under the kids/reduced cost cutoffs now – expect a chunk of increase at 13, and 18
– I’m guessing because of school schedules you’ll be pretty locked in to traveling at expensive times – just a thing to keep an eye on, so to avoid sticker shock when you’re browsing prices on booking engines, put in your actual dates
– of all your #s, the medium size trips to Europe seem a bit tight – esp. some of your more expensive destinations, like Paris and Switzerland. (It also sounds like you’ve got a long travel day, if you’re between Chicago and Pittsburgh for flights, so I wouldn’t really try to do a 4 day trip to anywhere in Europe but ymmv)
– There is a lot of pricing space between “not camping” and “the max you could spend”. I think as you start traveling more, you’ll get a sense of which parts are worth spending what kind of money on for you and your family – like for the national parks example, in a lot of “gateway towns” (right outside the park), you’ll easily find a comfortable-but-basic hotel for $100-$200/night; but if you want to stay /inside/ the park, it’s likely $300-$500, and of course there’s almost certainly some luxury resort that’s more. Or, when you’re traveling, are you imagining eating every meal in a full service restaurant, or are you planning a couple nice meals as part of the trip, but most food comes from the local grocery store? Your budgets definitely cover some really fun, but camping trips, but not “money is no object” type of stuff
Good luck and have fun! All of these sound like wonderful trips, and your kids are great ages for traveling!
Anon
I realize your question was mostly about money, but one general tip for streamlining travel planning: pick default vacation weeks and try to stick to them, so you always expect to be traveling those weeks. Ours are spring break and fall break (to accommodate kids’ school schedules) and the weeks of Memorial Day and July 4th (to burn less PTO). If you want to take it one step further, you can even set default destinations. We typically stay in the continental US for fall break, go to the Caribbean for spring break, to Europe in late May and to a family home in July. We have deviated from this plan before and will in the future, but it’s nice having a vacation option that’s basically on autopilot if we don’t want to think too hard about it.
Senior Attorney
This is a really good idea!
Coach Laura
For your alternate year’s vacation – I just booked a 10 night French vacation for two, two hotel rooms, two Premium+ reclining airplane seats, rental car and train for $7000. This was planned last minute, I didn’t pinch pennies because I literally had to make all the reservations in one week. So yes, $7500 seems close for 5 people for 4-7 nights.
Anon
The $25 k for the big vacay is too much, you could squeeze two vacays in. Our most expensive trip annually is a two week ski trip to Europe for 4 of us, and it’s never more than 16-18k EUR.
Anon
I need some new pants, curvy size 10, medium rise, some stretch would be great. Corduroy would be ideal if they are still in stock anywhere, but denim or other heavy-weight fabrics would be OK. Current pants are too small :(
Send me your recommendations for anything you’ve bought recently that is worth a try.
Anon
I have a few different cuts of Gap cords purchased last month that are sooo comfy. I am a curvy 14 for reference.
anon
I have a few different cuts of Gap cords purchased last month that are sooo comfy. I am a curvy 14 for reference.
Anon
I like them too. I went down a size this year, so they’re a little tight when I put them on in the morning, so they don’t bag out as much as last year’s cords in a larger size.
I like the length and the fact that the legs aren’t too wide.
Senior Attorney
I have these, too, and have been really happy with them.
anon
Loft usually has cords.
Moose
Old Navy Pixie Wide legs!
Anon
Has anyone done a gut Reno? We’re looking to buy a house NYC suburbs and considering buying a property that needs major renovations (1930s house, hasn’t been updated since the 60/70s). Would consider adding extension, moving rooms around, new bathrooms, kitchen, etc. House is listed at about $700,000 below our budget. Good neighborhood.
Has anyone done this? Is it a terrible idea? What should we consider?
Separately, any recommendations for architects/contractors in Western Long Island (Nassau) area?
Anon
Whatever you are quoted, expect to go at least 50% over on time and money, and possibly much more. Everything is so expensive around here. We just finished our basement – it was a clean, dry, totally blank slate and we didn’t add any plumbing, and it cost $60K. For the project you mention, I wouldn’t be surprised if it costs another $700K or more.
That’s not to say don’t do it! The market is tough, and if you love the location it could be perfect for your needs. But there will definitely be a lot of unexpected things that come up, so you’ll need to be a very patient person.
Anon
exactly this. my bff did a gut reno, though her contractors did it so they could somehow live in the house at the time. it took longer than anticipated, but now they love it. they liked the bones of the house, the location, etc.
Anon
Agreed. The most important thing is the location. If this is the only house available in the only or best area you want to live on (and likely the only one available for the foreseeable future) then go for it. The question for me is where do you live in the meantime – assuming you are already local and renting and would just stay put until it’s ready a year+ from now, then sure. We have a “vintage” home that has been rehabbed and added onto over the years and we ourselves have done two major reno projects and we should have moved out but didn’t. Don’t be us. (Our kitchen reno – without major structural or plumbing changes cost 100k in Chicagoland.)
Also, with all of these changes….why gut rather than tear down? Or what if an updated house next door that met your specs for your budget came on the market the day you close? It’s amazing to have your home tailored to your taste, but it can also be exhausting to choose every detail. (Hire a designer to present you with narrowed options – more $$$ but definitely worth it in my view).
Anon
Oh, I misread – I thought the house was $700K itself so was thinking of a smaller size house to refurbish. Rule of thumb for a moderate kitchen renovation is 10% of house value, and bathroom is 5%. For a gut I would scale those up, and think about the value of the house to get a ballpark number. For an addition I’m thinking it’d be $200K+ depending on size (also, factor in permits and other city requirements in addition to the cost of materials and labor)
Anon
We just renovated a 1930s house that hadn’t been updated in a long time and it took 18 months and cost a lot more than that (in Texas). I think you should assume it will cost twice your budget. You can give more details, but that’s just my knee jerk.
NYCer
We did a gut reno of an NYC apartment. It is not a terrible idea (we love the finished product!), but it is expensive and time consuming and can be extremely frustrating when you’re in the thick of it. So as long as you are fine with all of that, go for it. We kept living in our old apartment during the reno (which we also owned), so we weren’t stressed about running out of time on our lease, etc., but if you do not have that luxury, it also makes it more challenging. I would assume close to the entire $700,000 amount that is below your purchase budget would go toward the renovation.
Anon
Twice. 1920s homes. The TL/DR it’s not a budget idea. Cheaper on its face but impossible to live in so add on costs of living elsewhere, and realize it will take much longer than estimated and there’s usually big problems that surface and cost more too. I love old homes and it’s worth it from the charm angle, but it’s not a budget play. Unless you want to live in horrible stressful conditions for a few years.
Anonymous
Hi. I’m in western Suffolk on the north shore. My numbers might be helpful. What is the budget on the reno and what area is it? I sold my 1910 home for about 800k because I could not for the life of me make the math work on an extension without over improving it and ruining the relatively low taxes that make little old houses awesome. It was relatively updated and all the mechanics were in good shape, it was just small. Keep in mind taxes in some townships go up when you add square feet. If you’re somewhere very upscale and think that there’s a ton of value to add I’d look to someone like smiros who does beautiful high end work, but we’re talking a lot of money. I’m sorry but I never found a local architect and or design build that cared about making a historical home look great for a few hundred thousand.
We ended up buying a 1960s 3000 sq ft farm ranch. We moved walls,redid and installed hardwoods add all new kitchen and baths, interior doors, ect. It cost us 200k and another 50k for the exterior because we did hardie board. I don’t call it a gut because most walls and most systems stayed, but guests use that word when describing it. We’re very pro renovation. Despite all the headaches my husband wants to buy a farmhouse out east now. I still want furniture.
Anonymous
I’m rereading and looks like it’s not a 700k home but 700k below your budget. Sorry if that makes my experience less helpful! If you’re in a fancy area I’m inclined to think a pricey renovation is worth it. i know you said good neighborhood but I’d consider what other homes look like in the neighborhood. Is this in a place where everyone lives in an old Gold Coast home and talks without moving their bottom jaw? Because buy it! Or is this the prettiest run down house in a more modest area maybe near a walkable village? Because I love those but it makes less financial sense. Sorry for the skepticism, I love old house but the long island real estate junkie in me gets skeptical of older run down homes on pricey land that isn’t bought by a builder in hours.
Anonymous
In 2015 we did a gut reno down to the studs on a 1950s house in Texas. I echo what others said about going double over your budget and time. Mid-project I asked DH for the over budget and he said he stopped calculating it at $100k over our estimate. So we went over budget but don’t know exactly by how much. We could have done it less expensively but this was the route we chose. We hand picked literally everything. No regrets there. It took about 1.5 times as long as estimated by the contractor (he kept losing sub-contractors, which is common). Keep in mind this was pre-Covid. We did not live there and we had no kids. We ended up making our money back on the house, but again, this was pre-Covid. I loved the project and really miss that little house, but I probably wouldn’t do it again. Just my two cents.
Anon
One of my besties got married in her late 40s for the second time, his second time too. She sold her condo and put a lot of money into the house they were both supposed to live in, then he kept his condo and lived there while they did a mutually agreed upon gut remodel of the house they bought together. They’re divorced now.
Undertake this carefully, OP. Lots of people survive it, but it’s a stressful project whether you live there or not. My friend had sold her condo and new husband’s condo was his divorce pad and a tiny place, so she lived in the house during the remodel.
Budget was $100K, her words: “he stopped speaking to me when it went over $200k.”
Anonymous
I wouldn’t do it unless you as a couple love home design and project management. It can be great fun bringing something to life, but it is a lot of work along the way, to pick and supervise your team. One person really needs to visit the site daily to make sure nothing has gone awry, and to authorize any changes. And you need to be decisive and on the same page as a couple as you need to make a zillion decisions along the way.
Anonymous
Kat/Elizabeth- would you consider adding some androgynous style recommendations? Even one a quarter or so. I am a longtime reader and my style has shifted from super feminine / skirt suits when I started, to “masculine” items I found in the women’s section, to more slouchy… but I have trouble finding andro brands. I also find shoes that are less feminine are much more comfortable. I am looking to change my style over the next couple years and would prefer to invest $$$ rather than buy cheap, but I really don’t have style models or these stores in my geographic area.
Anonymous
My style skews masculine too…I find inspiration on pinterest, and shop in the men’s department because I find that”androdgynous” just means baggy men’s clothes. Actual men’s clothes, in my experience, are both cheaper and higher quality.
Anonymous
I would be surprised if Kat/Elizabeth could pick androgynous styles you would like. Their picks skew super girly. I’d find another source.
Anon
The easy budget way to do this is just to size up and buy more boxy items. Easier in winter than in warmer temps (and then: go preppy and a big large). Also an answer: Uniqlo.
Anon
I don’t think androgynous = boxy necessarily.
Anon
I totally agree. One of my favorite dressers in real life has an androgynous style, and her clothes are perfectly fitted. They’re tucked in at different places than stereotypical women’s clothing, but it’s certainly not a boxy look by default.
Anonymous
No, it doesn’t.
Androgynous is just a more masculine cut than women’s.
Anon
I don’t know how far along you are in your journey, but here’s a brand you need to know about:
https://theofficeofangelascott.com/collections/womens–1
Anon
OMG these are gorgeous!! Please someone get my bank account a Tums for the scare I just gave it.
Lobbyist
They are gorgeous but uncomfortable. I bought some used on the real real and never wear them.
Anon
I’d love that too.
anon
What is a timeless classic small purse/clutch that I could use day and night for casual dinners or date nights or on outings where I need my phone and small makeup type items? I have a $1000 gift card to neimans I need to use. TIA!
RiskedCredit
I found a bag by HL in a vintage store for $17 which was perfect for this. I’d save the gift card for the red shoes from yesterday.
Take a gander online for those bags. Super cheap, very clean lines and surprisingly well made. I found a couple since on eBay for less than $50.
Anon
She wants to spend $1000 at Neiman Marcus. Personally I’d go YSL or Chanel and put in some extra dough.
But my best workhorse little bag I pack in my suitcase and take to dinners is from Longchamp. A little leather bag, not those nylon things. Mine has a strap because clutches have never worked well for me.
Senior Attorney
I like the YSL camera bag. It’s over your budget, but by less than 100% if that’s any consolation. They also have a Christian Louboutin that’s right on budget: https://www.neimanmarcus.com/p/christian-louboutin-loubila-shoulder-bag-in-grained-leather-prod244300429?childItemId=NMV566S_&msid=4135442&navpath=cat000000_cat13030735_cat46860739&page=0&position=2
Anon
Wow that Louboutin bag is so fun! I love the flash of red I guess to remind you it’s Louboutin. Cute.
anon
I would definitely get a camera bag. There’s cute Jimmy Choo right at your price point. If you care less about labels, there are also really nice ones from Tory Burch.
https://www.neimanmarcus.com/p/jimmy-choo-varenne-quilted-lambskin-camera-crossbody-bag-prod257400151?childItemId=NMV5PQU_&msid=4432319&position=24
Anon
Bottega knot clutch.
Anon
Totem clutch. It also has a shoulder strap. Comes in a few colors. It’s right in your budget range.
Anonymous
After 14 years of marriage, I’ve decided to buy myself an eternity band. I love Mejuri, but they only sell size 5 and size 4.5 and I’m solidly a 4.75 so that’s tricky. I’m also interested in getting moissanites instead of diamonds. Do you have any recommendations of where to buy? I’ve heard a lot of complaints about my local jeweler not setting diamonds correctly and them falling out. But I’m in Houston if anyone has local recommendations.
Anonymous
Love Lindsay Leigh in Houston aka the Houston diamond girl. I have quite a few pieces from her I really love.
Anon
I’ve had good luck with moissanite.co
Lily
My husband bought me an eternity band for Christmas from Noemie. Very happy with it. It’s the platinum, 1 carat lab-grown diamond one. Don’t know if they have moissanites. Unfortunately they don’t have a 4.75. He got me a 5 and I’m exchanging it for a 4.5. If the 4.5 is too tight, I’ll ask them to send me the 5 back and I’ll just be extra careful with it (when it’s cold out it could slip off my finger if I’m not super careful, but when it’s normal temp or hot it’ll be just fine).
Senior Attorney
Check out charlesandcolvard.com. They specialize in moissanite and have a lot of eternity bands. I don’t see quarter sizes but they do say to contact customer service if you don’t see your size, so maybe they can work with you.
Senior Attorney
Oops I see they’ve switched to lab-grown diamonds. Sorry.
Senior Attorney
Yikes I’m so annoying… turns out they do have some moissanite eternity rings.
Anonymous
I hit a milestone and am rewarding myself with makeup. What is your #1 favorite (or strongest workhorse) makeup item and why?
Anon
My greatest recent purchase is this Shiseido foundation, link below, it’s the revitalessence skin glow foundation. It gives decent but not cakey coverage but it sits on skin so well. I’m obsessed with it.
Get some good brushes from Bobbi Brown. They’re the best. I also swear by the Bobbi Brown corrector concealer in the stick. NARS makes the best blush but you don’t have to wear the o rgasm shade! And shadow sticks from Laura Mercier are great, as well as the sticks from Bobbi Brown.
Anon
here’s the foundation:
https://www.shiseido.com/us/en/revitalessence-skin-glow-foundation-spf-30-0730852193482.html?
NY CPA
Bobbi Brown corrector is THE BEST makeup product out there for dark under-eye circles. I have it in the pot format.
Anon
For me, Ilia multi-stick is a great blush; Bobby Brown or MAC pot gel eyeliners; Glossier Boy Brow works for me (but I think it’s not for everyone)
Anon
HUDA beauty matte lipstick or whichever brand you like.
Bobbi brown blush.
Anon
Westman atelier. Foundation, blush and contour sticks. Hourglass blushes and powders. Charlotte tilbury for lip liners and lipsticks.
Lexi
Sonia G. makes the best makeup brushes, they are a splurge but are amazing tools and a pleasure to use: https://www.beautylish.com/b/sonia-g
Love Westman Atelier highlighter and cheek products. I also love Rose Inc blushes.
Foundations will vary on lifestyle and skin type, but if I had to pick just one brand I’d go with NARS. La Mer has a really nice plumping (can’t think of another way of describing it, lol) foundation but the shades are very, very limited so get a sample first.
I like the Tom Ford cream eyeshadow a lot and it stays. As I’ve aged I can’t really use liquid eyeliner, but if I do, it’s the Tom Ford one. Otherwise I use the Bobbi Brown gel liner and use a an eyeshadow over it as liner and it stays all day.
Enjoy!
Anonymous
I am looking for thicker, fuller eyelashes and do not want extensions. Anyone have a mascara to recommend? Can be $$ if it really works.
Anon
I usually wear an understated mascara, but my “thicker, fuller” mascara right now is from the Maybelline Falsies line.
My thought is that you may want to try some $ options to form some preferences before moving on to the $$?
Anon
FWIW, I was anti lash extensions and they’re the best thing I’ve done beauty wise. You take a nap during the process and I basically do no makeup at all anymore since that just takes care of things. A little tinted moisturizer and lipstick and I’m polished and done.
Anon
+1 I was anti extensions because I didn’t realize extensions existed that weren’t the crazy versions. I am a complete convert and look forward to my nap when I get the extensions. I pencil in my brows and put on tinted chapstick and that’s now my entire makeup routine. I love it.
Anonymous
Hmmm, I’m the OP. Convince me? I don’t want the maintenance. Tons of my friends shave them but they are $$$ and have to be done every 4-6 weeks. No?
Anon
You do them as often as you want, really. I get the kind that goes for volume so they’re short/same length as my own lashes but very full and black so no need for mascara. They look like I have a great mascara and not like I should be on the real housewives. To keep it up, I go about once a month. It’s frankly a pleasure compared to say a mani pedi. You may have to look around but I found a place with really comfortable beds and I go in sweats for the nap. Sometimes I’ll play a podcast or listen to music. It’s cheaper the more often you go so an initial set is $$ but fills are usually less. The time I save getting ready plus the extra oomph/prettiness I get from the. makes it completely worth it. It’s like plastic surgery with no pain.
Anon
Late on this, but have you tried Latisse or Grande Lash? That, plus Maybelline Curl Bounce and an eyelash curler get me an understated lash extension look with way less maintenance.
Anon
If you haven’t yet, search this section for tubing mascara. People have recommended it in the past and I’ve tried it and will never go back.
Insurance Anon
Any recommendations for international private insurance? A friend is moving to France for a year of school but the school does not provide insurance, and she has to procure her own. She looked at Allianz which seems reasonable ($2k for the year) but wanted to see if anyone has direct experience. She’s in her late 20s, great health, no pre-existing conditions.
Anon
I’d do AIG. Allianz is not great at paying claims in my experience.
Anonymous
has anyone seen the Mean Girls reboot/ movie-musical? My almost 11 year old wants to see it and I’m having trouble finding reviews to see if I’m going to let her. I LOVED the first one and was planning to watch it together with her because some of the scenes have not aged well. She got invited to see the new one this weekend.
We let her see Barbie, as a point of reference.
Anon
I haven’t and am curious what people will report!
Has she seen Legally Blonde or its musical?
Anonymous
No, but not because we vetoed it. I think she more wants to do something weekend vs see this movie specifically (vs barbie); DH and I are leaning towards no but we can’t quite figure out why. I think I the nasty behavior is hitting just a little too close to home recently. And our daughter is on the math team (and blonde and pretty) and right now doesn’t have any issues with it ;).
Anon
I was just thinking about how how dated that whole high school movie genre feels now. I haven’t seen the musical though, so I don’t know if they updated it or toned it down (or played up the drama!).
I think all of Tina Fey’s humor feels a little harsh or cynical to me these days (I enjoyed 30 Rock at the time, but nasty behavior is a theme there too!).
anonymous
You’ve got to let your kids grow up at some point. By 11, I really don’t get the agita about a movie most of her friends are probably seeing and about behavior she’s probably experiencing. Sheltering her won’t help anything. Why not let her watch it and watch it yourself so you can discuss rather than censor it?
Anon4This
I am trying to hunt down a used plum version of MM LaFleur’s Masha dress. Looking on Facebook, ThredUp, Poshmark, Mercuri, Second Act (on the MM site) and Ebay. Any other sources of used clothes that I’m missing? Or anyone have the dress in Size 2 and looking to part ways?
Anon
I have that dress in a plus size. Keep looking! It’s a good one.
Anon
Try google. Use flexible search terms, not as specific as Masha dress. I found one in size 10 using google right now. I searched “MM Lafleur pink dress” and then hit the shopping tab, and I saw one on Thred Up right away.
Anon
The RealReal might have MM LaFleur. I find that I have the best luck finding particular items on Ebay and Poshmark. Thredup started charging to process a bag so their selection is not what it used to be.
Anonymous
is there a good place to turn spotify songs into mp3s? upon googling it looks like there are a million places but not sure if one is better than the other.thx!
NYNY
The best thing to do is to pay to download the song as directly from the artist as you can. Spotify has abysmal royalty rates to artists, and recording off spotify to your own device is theft. I get that people like streaming services, especially as a way to discover artists they like and wouldn’t have encountered otherwise, but we need to pay artists if we want to have art.
Anon
I mean, that seems pretty illegal, so just use whatever shady site exists at the moment and hope you don’t get viruses.
Anon
Or don’t do this, because it’s illegal and you should pay the artists you like for the music they make.
anon
+1
True…
Anon
Like a “how to pirate music” site? No thanks.
Lab Diamond Q
Any reliable online shops to potentially purchase a lab-grown diamond? How do you buy one as far as cut, color, clarity, etc? Cut is obvious. But do the rest of the non-lab stone C’s apply?
Lily
I can recommend Noemie. Just got one of their lab-grown eternity rings for Christmas. Yes, they tell you each C for the ring you’re looking at. For a lab grown diamond you can get much high quality clarity, color than you would with a mined diamond for a lower price.
Anonymous
I bought mine on Brilliant Earth several years ago and have been very happy with it.