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Tuesday’s Workwear Report: Maude Dress

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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

There was a little frost on the ground when I woke up earlier this week, so I feel ready to declare that sweater dress season is here.

Let’s begin with this gorgeous polo dress from Tuckernuck to kick things off. I love the color, the fit-and-flare silhouette, and the fun collar neckline. Pair with a blazer for a cozy office look that still looks pulled-together.

The dress is $198 at Tuckernuck and comes in sizes XS-XXXL. It’s also available in midnight. 

Sales of note for 10/30

  • Nordstrom – Extra 20% off clearance
  • Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase + extra 15% off your $200+ purchase
  • Brooklinen – Friends & Family – 20% off sitewide and 50% off select bundles
  • J.Crew – 2700+ markdowns
  • J.Crew Factory – Extra 50% off clearance
  • M.M.LaFleur – Save 20% on suiting and dresses! Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off on other items)
  • Talbots – Enjoy 30% off your entire purchase

233 Comments

  1. Looking for recommendations for dining in Aspen during ski season. How busy do places get and how far in advance do reservations fill up? Appreciate any recs for planning out meals with teens while maximizing ski time! Bonus on any packing tips you have for flying with all the gear!

    1. For flying with the gear, I really like a boot bag that fits in the overhead bin. Ours has the boots lie flat against your back when carrying it, arranged inside the compartment like you would have new shoes in a shoebox, and there’s a helmet pocket on top. I can fit all my outerwear in that bag and it’s comfortable to carry. It’s pretty old at this point but the brand is Dakine.

      Does Aspen have Ski Butlers? I haven’t used it myself but have heard great things in case you want to demo new skis instead of schlepping yours.

    2. I don’t think of Aspen as a food town but there’s a couple places we like right now. There’s a rubirosa pop up that should still be there this winter that I’ve liked. Our favorite restaurant in town is Jing. I prefer it to Matsuhisa or Kenichi. My kids love it too.

      White House Tavern is great but walk ups only. We like Clark’s Oyster Bar and that’s one where a reservation is helpful. I like the burger at J Bar at the Hotel Jerome but maybe mostly for nostalgia!

      If you’re there for long enough, cross country skiing for dinner to Pine Creek can be a lot of fun (would definitely ski with teens and not take the sleigh – skiing back with a headlamp is part of the adventure).

      The crepe place in Aspen – French Alpine Bistro (not the Crepe Shack, although it’s okay for a quick bite) – is also a neat cozy spot in the winter.

      My favorite breakfast is Poppycocks.

  2. I need casual but put together weekend clothes. No jeans or leggings. I hate the feel of the spanx super popular scuba/like- soft fabric line but like the overall idea/look. I also hate ribbed fabrics, they always stretch funny on my body. Anything you love?

    1. If money is no object, the AYR High Hopes pant ($200’ish) plus any sort of top fits your criteria. If that’s not the budget for weekend outfits, Athleta and Lululemon have similar pants that do not look like (and are not) athletic wear. The Athleta Endless pant is very popular here, and I have and wear it, but Lululemon’s version is more flattering to me (less-high rise, I think).

      1. More spendy, but I love the Frank + Eileen Riley pants in the triple terry material once it gets cold enough for them. (And, cue someone commenting over $300 for a pair of sweatpants with the zipper…).

      2. I have the AYR pants, and the hype is real! I wear them to work too. They just added short in the larger sizes, which is great.

        1. How are they cut? What is your shape?

          Wondering if they could work for pear shapes. Brooklyn Athleta pants don’t fit right for me

          1. I have both, and the Brooklyn looks terrible on me. The AYR is much more flattering.

          2. Thanks – sounds promising! Are they crazy long on you too, like in the photo? I don’t want them dragging on the ground. I am 5’7″ and they recommend a Medium for length.

          3. I am 5’5″, and they are not too long on me. I do not get them hemmed but wear them with slightly-chunky-soled fashion sneakers. The length is one of the things that makes them flattering.

    3. The viral Ruti pants in black, plus a crew-neck cashmere sweater or a Varley quarter-zip sweatshirt.

    4. I like the Varley double soft pants, and the Marine Layer Allison trousers though the elastic waist is very casual on both.

        1. The material is thicker and more polished than regular sweats, and the pintuck detail on the front of the leg elevates the look imho. I wouldn’t say they’re similar to Champion sweats.

    5. Athleta has lots of options for athletic-feeling pants that don’t look like athletic pants.

    6. Sounds like you need to repurpose regular work pants. Style them with sneakers and a t-shirt.

    7. I love my matching set from Loft. I feel a little behind this trend — I should have adopted this years ago! I have the Lou & Grey Brushedsoft Slim Wide Leg Pants and matching tee. It’s so comfortable and still looks put together because the pants are weighty and straight-leg.

  3. Has anyone ever chosen to divorce from a partner who has unsuccessfully treated depression? My sister is contemplating this and it’s been sad on all sides. He’s tried for the whole time I’ve known him and I think at some level he really wants to get better but on another, he’s somewhat comfortable with the status quo, while she’s not (“I’m smothering under his heavy blanket,” which made me sad to hear). I’ve seen discussions here over the years about how it’s justified to leave someone who refuses to treat their depression but this feels a little different. She feels a lot of guilt but in our last conversation, I got the impression she might move past that for a chance of happiness. (to be clear, I’ve just been listening and have given no advice other than “take some time to think” and similar).

    1. I have not, but had a BF like this and did choose to break up for the reason she gives.

      2. +1. My BF refused to get treatment and it was really impacting my own mental health. We both improved after the breakup, I think it was a real wakeup call for him.

    2. Perhaps a very hot take: I think you can require your spouse to make progress and to do all the things that need to be done (sleep, exercise, therapy, medication if appropriate); it gets dicier when you put a timeline on their healing.

      This isn’t to say that you’re obligated to stay in a marriage with someone who has permanent untreatable mental health issues. It’s more that the other person has an obligation to their marriage, which is to do what is within their power to ameliorate mental health problems.

      I say this as someone with real, diagnosed (not TikTok) PTSD.

      (My marriage fell apart because my ex is the sort of sicko who enjoyed triggering my ptsd; he admitted that he would play dumb and push me to watch the reaction.)

      1. I’m sorry about your ex that’s awful.

        The reality is it is an illness, and sometimes treatments don’t work. So at some point the “in sickness or in health” is relevant here. They’re still just sick.

        2. I’m not sure why you’re getting “give it a rest”? But I do think this is a much more complicated question than people give credit for. Mental illness is a sickness, it’s not something that a person can will away. If you’ve never loved someone with a debilitating illness, then you have no idea. Depression is one of those illnesses. It’s not just a matter of wanting to get better. So, yeah, in sickness and in health applies here, not sure why that’s controversial/annoying to you except if you truly don’t believe that mental illness is a real illness.

          1. It can be situational though, and a relationship can be a situation, so that is a lot harder to reason through.

          2. In my experience, people who dismiss what sounds like a years long, refractory depression despite treatment as “situational”, don’t understand mental illness. You sound very dismissive Anon at 12:16pm.

          3. I am sorry; I don’t mean to be dismissive at all. Situational depression can be extremely severe.

        3. I’m the Anon you’re responding to.

          What I am really saying is that the spouse with mental illness has a duty to do their best to alleviate it. I do not believe that you can will yourself out of depression or bipolar ow whatnot; it’s just that their side of the marriage contract requires concerted effort.

          If someone refuses to go to therapy, find medications that work for them, do all of the eat/sleep/exercise that alleviate depression and allow therapy and medication to work, that’s a violation of the marriage contract. I think that’s the situation the OP is in.

          1. You can’t will yourself out of medication side effects either though. Grayscale, no spark, and stuck in the status quo can be iatrogenic.

    3. This is really tough. Are kids involved? Has he had good periods, followed by rougher ones? Is the relationship functioning OK (guessing not, if she’s contemplating divorce).

      1. No kids (she wants them eventually) and he has had good periods before, but even his best is kind of a muffled gray best. No concerns or fears about abuse or lashing out – it’s more that she doesn’t think she can live life in grayscale, to stay with the theme, for the next 50 years. She’s a vibrant, cheerful person and even though she has hobbies, friendships, etc. etc., I know she needs more life and spark at home. I think it’s harder for her to get over the guilt when home is “OK” but she knows it may never get better than OK.

        1. If she wants kids she needs to get out ASAP. Having kids will just make his problems worse, and then she will really be stuck.

          3. Yup. It’s much more complicated with children (for a variety of reasons) but if there are no kids I’d be out of there immediately.

    4. If none of the depression treatments are working, are they sure it’s what he really has or that it isn’t secondary to something else they missed? He’s ill and presumably has little initiative, but I’d fire his whole failing medical team and start over with a different approach if things are going this poorly.

      1. Treatment resistant depression is real and starting over from scratch with new providers sounds insane.

        1. Refractory depression can indicate misdiagnosis, and this is not uncommon. I think it’s more insane to stick with providers who haven’t been helping!

          1. Part of my context here is that I’ve seen people recover when they moved or even just switched insurance plans that landed them in a different hospital system, and then they ended up with new diagnoses a previous team had missed. There are conditions that present similarly to depression that psych meds don’t treat very effectively.

            Even when it’s a primary mental health condition, SSRIs can have some negative effects (like emotional blunting and flattening, apathy and indifference) that make it very hard for the patient to advocate for better treatment.

        2. Yup, one of my neighbors recently killed herself because of treatment-resistant depression. I have low-grade depression myself with some real lows occasionally, and my ex killed himself, too, from untreatable alcoholism and depression (bad combination!). So yeah, sometimes all the medical attention and will power in the world just ain’t enough.

          1. I am sorry. I’m not saying that all depression can be treated, but I am saying that the meds can be counterproductive if the diagnosis wasn’t correct to begin with, and people can feel like they got a lot of medical attention when things were being missed. A past misdiagnosis of depression and an unsuccessful course of psych meds that caused more problems than it solved is a familiar theme in so many people’s stories of diagnostic delay.

    5. I have and it’s the best thing I ever did. Caveat that I didn’t have kids with him. He did seek treatment but then would abruptly stop and have some sort of breakdown. He was increasingly aggressive and resentful of me. Once I left him I started to feel like I could breathe again. I had underestimated how small I had made myself and my life in order to manage him. At some point it is ok to put on your own oxygen mask first.

      1. This, you aren’t required to stay because someone gets treatment. It’s an insane premise.

        1. i think what gets tricky and no judgment at all, and this is more of a philosophical question, but like if you wouldn’t leave a spouse bc they have cancer, are mental health conditions different? and if they are then as a society we will never truly be able to remove the stigma

          1. Yes they are. And it’s silly to pretend otherwise. Men leave women with cancer all the time, women do not need to be guilted into staying with no functional men

          2. Not even close to the same thing, it’s a false equivalency that guilts people into staying in bad relationships.

          4. Mental health conditions are fundamentally different from physical illnesses, and if we pretend otherwise we will never truly make progress in dealing with mental illness as a society. Mental illness can fundamentally alter a personality. It is also a convenient cover for many pre-existing personality defects and moral failings.

          6. I’m happy if this represents someone’s individual experience of an ordeal with cancer, but I feel like “cancer only infects the person who has it” is far too glib here!

          7. To me they seem different because they’re sometimes circumstantial or environment dependent? Like if somebody’s mental health improves radically because they got a new job, and it turns out they only needed medication in the context of the old job.

          8. Can’t the circumstantial thing apply to physical illness too? Eg. spouse is having terrible allergies, can’t sleep, is exhausted all the time, figures out it’s mold in the walls, you all get a new apartment and it’s no longer a problem.

            I guess in that case they’re still *allergic* to the mold, it just doesn’t impact their life at all, so maybe that’s different?

          9. IMO, treatment resistant depression is more like chronic illness than cancer. I’ve seen several men leave their wives with diagnoses like polycystic kidney disease and ALS. I know another couple trying to struggle through their marriage when the wife has an undiagnosed autoimmune disorder that causes debilitating pain that’s difficult to prevent, explain, or treat.

            It’s tempting to judge, but I don’t know what it’s like to be in any of these marriages.

          11. These takes are insane. Cancer only affects one person? Other diseases don’t affect the patient’s personality? Some of you have never been close to partners with a chronic illness and it shows. Wow.

          13. Feels stupid to say #notallmen because one commenter can’t quit. Some men leave their wives over cancer. Some wives leave their husbands over depression, lack of earning potential, etc. some people are just crappy, no matter their gender.

          14. Anon at 12:07. You are missing the point others were making. Just because men frequently leave their wives when they get cancer and other severe diseases, doesn’t make it any better if a woman or man decides to leave their spouse with severe depression. All are bad. These are all just diseases. Just because one affects the brain doesn’t make it less significant. And abandoning your spouse when they are severely ill is pretty awful in my book. Yet, I understand the urge.

            It is a different situation when someone with mental illness refuses to get treatment. Unfortunately, when you have mental illness, it is common to resist treatment, and this is often due partially to the disease.

            I have family members with depression, bipolar disorder and an in-law with a psychotic disorder.

          15. I don’t think cancer is a good analogy because usually you either recover (at least enough to have a somewhat normal life, even if you’re not technically “cured”) or you die. It’s not normally debilitating and all-consuming for decades the way depression can be. Dementia is probably a closer analogy and it’s more common there to see the caregiver spouse move on and have a romantic relationship with someone else while their spouse is still alive. Often with the spouse’s blessing.

        2. I think it is harder than this because a lot of marriages really were premised on “in sickness and in health.” We can all think of reasons why that would not apply in the case of some kinds of mental illness, but that’s partly why I personally would want to be sure it really was mental illness at all.

          If someone would divorce over another diagnosis anyway, then it may not matter as much to someone.

          1. The standard for leaving a spouse is the same whether they are healthy, physically ill, or mentally ill. If they mistreat you, you are not obligated to stay with them.

          2. OP here and my sister doesn’t feel mistreated, though. She does feel guilt about reneging on her vows and I think that’s very understandable. I think she thought his depression would get consistently better instead of being kind of stuck.

        4. Different people mean different things by marriage, which I think is part of the reason this feels so hard to navigate!

          But for me, when I’m dating someone, I would take their mental and physical health into consideration. It’s not a moral judgement on whether it’s the person’s “fault” they’re ill; it’s a practical judgement on whether it’s a good idea to bind my life to theirs.

          But once I marry them, I take the “in sickness and in health” part pretty seriously, and would only marry someone who felt similarly. And that does mean accepting the possibility that an incurable or treatment resistant disease (physical or mental) decreases quality of life for both of us. It’s hard to navigate.

          1. Yes, this. I might not have married this guy in the first place, but once I did, we’re in it for better or for worse. That’s not to say that I’d accept anything to keep the marriage, but I’d try pretty hard to support my husband with an illness (and I say this as someone with a chronic physical illness who has had family members and friends with fairly severe mental illness, so I have a decent idea of what that can mean).

          2. I quite literally broke off an engagement because of his chronic health conditions. Once I confronted what it would actually be to manage his health conditions and our individual career aspirations and our family goals, I realized that I didn’t want to sign up for that, much as I loved him. And it felt crappy to do, but it would have been worse if I had married him and been stuck or divorced him later because of it.

          3. It’s always hard to think about, since it feels so different to sign up for a known factor than to sign up for the risk (which is always there!).

          1. There are costs to the decisions we make that only we end up living with, especially when it comes to family.

            If she really thought this would just go away, then maybe she wasn’t as committed as she thought, which I think is best to recognize sooner than later. People do sometimes enter into relationships under conditions instead of being all in.

            But it is okay to establish relationships where leaving would constitute betrayal, even if there are other circumstances where staying is more of a betrayal.

    6. Sounds like she’s making the best choices she can and your job is supporting her.

    7. I absolutely would. Living with someone with mental illness is no joke. My spouse had depression and, as it progressed, the impact spread beyond him. I had always been a social drinker, but never had more than 2 drinks in a setting. I started to drink very heavily every night to mitigate the stress of living with spouse. Spouse started to threaten suicide to our then 6yo child. I dreaded what would happen as our son got older and wanted to separate from his parents more. I assumed spouse would use his mental illness to try to control son. Spouse couldn’t hold a job and basically only watched TV and played video games. He was not a partner and was, in fact, a negative influence on everyone around him. My spouse refused treatment, but it the effects of depression on everyone in the house would have been the same if treatment had not been successful.

        1. I left and his depression killed him. I think it would have killed him anyway but the stress of me leaving probably expedited matters. Sometimes there are no good answers in life. He might have lived longer if I had stayed but at a huge cost to both me and to our son. In some ways it felt like being on a sinking ship. Everyone was going down together. I had the option to try to save two of us and I felt I had to take it.

    8. I didn’t and wish I would have. My husband was deeply depressed and refused therapy and medication. He ultimately turned to alcohol and it led to his death. I stayed with him because we had kids and because I felt guilty and knew that he would end up homeless without me. But I did not consider enought the trauma that we experienced. I have some mental health issues of my own and know it is hard to get better but his refusal to even try should have been my line in the sand.

    9. If she wants children and doesn’t feel this is a situation she’d be comfortable raising kids in, then she should leave. It’s a very hard and sad situation and I understand the feeling of reneging on vows or abandoning a sick person. But if her marriage has changed in a way that no longer makes a huge priority (having kids) a viable option then she needs to live her life and honor that.

    10. My spouse has a few chronic illnesses which have severely impacted his quality of life. He could get treatment for some of it which would improve his quality of life, but refuses. That is his right- he controls his body not me. I cannot ‘require’ him to get help or treatment, even by framing it as a condition of the relationship. All I can do is set boundaries and let a lot of things go. For the person thinking of leaving, I think the main issues are children (this issue does not depend on illness- if you are not in agreement as to whether you want children or not, end the relationship) and what is your red line in terms of your own boundaries. It’s hard. Hugs to you.

    11. I have stayed married to my husband who has battled depression and anxiety for the last 13 years. I love him and I am able to stay with him because I see how hard he tries to treat his depression and I work really hard to find joy in my life even when he has a hard time doing so (and I get therapy myself to make sure I have enough emotional support). We have a child together and he is a wonderful father and husband in many ways. I highly recommend your sister encourage her husband to try TMS and ketamine infusion (not at the same time), which can be literal life-savers for people with medication-resistant depression. I am purposefully not addressing the underlying question (though I think the fact they don’t have children together weighs in favor of her leaving), but it sounds like she cares about him, so it would make sense for him to try all available treatment options even if medication is not working. Good luck to your sister and thank you for supporting her.

  4. This is a really gorgeous dress, but I fear for how it would cling to a softer belly. I used to love a good sweater dress but I’ve stopped wearing them after realizing how they accentuate everything. Tights just displace the squish. It’s hard to find good fall/winter dresses for that reason.

    1. “displace the squish” is SUCH a good description of this, ha! I know exactly what you mean. I have found a slip helps, but not enough, plus it’s another layer to deal with. And even if you can’t see the squish, the tights make what seems like it should be comfortable outfit less comfortable.

    4. I’ve always wanted a sweater dress but never bought it for this reason. The other day I tried a sweater two piece set – skirt and sweater – and it was perfect. So I’m letting go of my desire for a sweater dress and realizing that the sweater set works. And most people assume its a dress anyways.

      1. Where did you find your sweater and sweater skirt set? It’s one of my favorite combinations and I could use a refresh.

    5. In my experience, as someone who has always been soft around the middle, is that the sweater dress fabric radically changes how it fits and look on. I have one that is a sturdier nylon-blend knit (vs a thin, super soft knit) and it has looked great on me though three different sizes.

    6. I really like the look of this dress too. Inevitably I notice pills on my bottom thought. If I’m good about it, I can avoid snags.

  5. im dreaming of frost on the ground as it is still 90 degrees where i live.

    are we really going to televise an execution? the number of things that have happened in the past ten years that i never thought i’d see in my lifetime is truly a bit scary

    1. I’m disgusted that the livestream idea was even considered, let alone that people in leadership roles think it’s a good idea. There’s a reason no democracies do this.

      1. I saw Sadam’s hanging involuntarily in college when a kid was watching it in class on his lap top in front of me. Hegseth is evil and it’s shocking how he’s allowed to continue unchecked.

    2. Apparently it would be livestreamed and maybe not actually on TV? Regardless, it is absurd.
      I heard on NPR this morning that Australia would not allow it to be streamed there because it violates their safe internet laws.

      1. Capital punishment is the disgusting part. Not the broadcasting part. Better our heinous acts be done in public so people can confront what they allow their government to do on their behalf.

        1. I agree in theory, but also who in their right minds would watch? I feel like anyone who tunes in ought to be put on some sort of watch list.

        2. Yes, and. I am opposed to capital punishment for a lot of reasons, but firmly believe if you’re going to do it, it should not be made a spectacle. Public executions are the domain of despots and lynch mobs, they have zero place in a civilized 21st century judicial system.

      2. You can watch video of executions in Afghanistan –usually women, who were caught doing something nefarious like trying to escape their abusive husbands. The British tabloid Daily Mail shows ’em.

    3. I was relieved to discover the execution is not scheduled until Dec 3. I pray more mature heads will prevail before then and it won’t actually be streamed/broadcast.

      Also, will it not just make Hassan a martyr and inspire others to follow in his footsteps? There’s a reason we just dumped bin Laden’s body in the Arabian Sea.

      1. I’m not sure it takes much to make someone a martyr for those who are determined to find one.

  6. Does this job exist and if so what is it called?

    I am a middle manager and a medium sized company. I’m very good at going into a complicated situation, figuring out what the problem is, and making sure its fixed. There have been multiple projects where other people have added me on basically saying “Marie will fix this” – and then that happens.

    Specific comments I’ve gotten include that I’m good at: understanding stakeholders, taking ownership and delivering on complex projects, cutting through the noise

    In my view some of this is basic management, but its clearly a strength of mine. What’s a role that focuses on this? Is there a type of consulting that is “unf*cking messy situations”?

    1. I’m also good at this. I agree it’s some basic management / organization, but it’s also being able to synthesize lots of nuanced information and data from different sources and quickly figure out what actually matters. I’m a former consultant, and am now in a Chief of Staff type role to a CEO – which has a mix of this but also a mix of more administrative stuff which is way less interesting. One of my other friends is also good at this and has an independent consulting business where she basically gets hired in to help with messy, complex projects.

      1. Agree that the synthesizing info and figuring out what matters is a big part of it, and something I’ve realized not everyone is good at. What does your friend call the type of consulting she does – I’m sure there is an actual term for it.

      1. Maybe Program Manager on the higher end. Pharma has Alliance Managers, but the role is more relationship maintenance.

    3. The term is “project manager”. There are a lot of courses and certifications in project management. I’d looking into those if you are looking to pivot or market yourself.

      1. Aren’t project managers entry level roles that keep people to their calendared tasks, not actual problem solvers? I don’t think this is the level OP is at or how she would want to present herself.

        1. No, this is such a misperception. What you’re talking about is a project coordinator or an admin assistant. Project managers are problem solvers.

          1. Project managers are supposed to be problem-solvers. Everywhere I’ve worked they are the problem.

          2. Everywhere I’ve worked, assigning a PM to a complex project is a great way to multiply the number of status pings by infinity but not actually advance anything. Def no to using this term for your skill set.

        2. It’s possible that a very junior employee gets labeled as a project manager and given basic babysitting tasks, but it is certainly not the case that all project managers are glorified calendar-minders with no problem solving skills or responsibilities.

    4. Like you, I am competent and being competent. In my corner of the world, this doesn’t pay well and is just another extension of old ADHD men taking credit for womens’ executive function. I stick with my own projects now that I can run from beginning to end. Hopefully your part of the world rewards you better for you abilities.

      1. The funny part is I actually have ADHD and pretty bad executive functioning. But I have systems to help with that, especially at work. Systems it turns out a lot more people could use.

        This is part of why I don’t want to just be good at it at my current job, and am interested in finding roles that are specific to this. I don’t want to have to clean up after others.

    5. This role exists! It can be called a few things, typically a project manager, but not exclusively. I’ve seen it a lot in big, complicated economic development projects, and in government. In local government, this would be someone in a County Executive or City Manager Office. In the state, it’s typically someone working in an executive/leadership office. I know it also exists in tech to lead the development or rollout of a new technology/project.

    7. I would say this is “operations.” The highest-level person who does this is the Chief Operations Officer or COO.

    8. Lots of teams like this exist.

      Where I work our ERP team are massively skilled in this area. My role in finance is also like this 60-75% of the time. I join internal projects as a consultant. Everything from redesigning the AP process to building out new office space. I am also being brought in to redesign the HR system in Q1 next year.

  7. I’ve been tasked with organizing a going away party for a co-worker (boss who would normally do it is stuck on a huge out-of-town project and asked me to handle). I was told to get a cheese tray, a fruit/veg tray, and a dessert tray, plus drinks, budget is $300. There’s a Whole Foods and a more basic grocery store within walking distance of the office. I am kind of at a loss — what do y’all recommend?

    2. Whichever one delivers, or another that delivers. Or if you can get more junior staff to get it, use a rolling cart, etc.

          1. I agree. I can’t imagine that the “Boss” was actually making a Costco run. If so, that is not appropriate.

    3. Whole Foods catering.

      Fruit platter: $49.99
      Cheese platter: $89.99
      Cookie platter: $29.99

      Each serves 16. That leaves you $100 for tax and drinks. If you want, swap out the fruit platter for the anti pasta platter and get fruit from the grocery store.

        1. You’re welcome! I have way too much (expletive) to do in my life, so I’m really good at the high value/low effort thing.

    4. So curious as to what your job is that this wasn’t a simple solvable assignment for you and you had to seek advice

      1. What a strange way to publicize your realization that not everyone is an event planner.

        2. Look, I think Roxie’s question is rude, but OP did state that she was told what to get. You don’t have to be an event planner to order items on a list. I can see asking for ideas but to say that you’re “at a loss” – when you know there are two grocery stores nearby! – is a little extreme.

        3. You can’t get basic supplies for an event if you’re not an event planner? Way to advertise an utter lack of common sense but okay.

          We all gripe about young people being unable to do things without overly explicit step by step directions and this was a perfect example.

          2. Personally, as a middle-aged, competent, successful professional who is quite satisfied and content with where I am in life regardless of your inept attempts to insult my intelligence, I have no idea how much food or drink to get for something like this (nor whether the budget is realistic for the number of people involved) without going down an internet rabbit hole of conflicting information, spreadsheets, overthinking menus, etc. Much easier to just ask a group with experience and get an actionable answer. Neither my actual job duties nor my personal social life involve this sort of work; asking for advice is a very reasonable step.

            Very weird that you find it fulfilling to try denigrating someone for asking a sincere question.

          3. But it’s like, just go to Whole Foods and price out the list? (why crowdsource something where you have all of the specifics available to you?)

          4. 4:01 pm, why are you on this blog at all? Why don’t you go up to Nordstrom on your ownsome? All the specifics are there at the mall!

      2. Well, she got a fast and great answer. I wouldn’t have thought of trying Whole Foods for catering, and getting recs from others who know the quality if acceptable is very valuable.

        1. As the person who provided the specifics of the Whole Foods catering: I think looking this up and typing it in was a fine use of my time. Fun mid-morning mental break that took me all of about five minutes, because I already knew where to look.

      3. It’s so sad, Roxie, that you had to walk barefoot uphill both ways to school and back and bear those scars for life.

      1. +1. So many family members have struggled with therapists who just encourage rumination.

    2. It depends on the therapist and the patient. My therapist pushes back gently, but has me lead the conversation.

      Why are you asking this? What are you wondering about specifically?

      1. my sister has made a lot of questionable life choices and just started therapy but says her therapist just listens and doesn’t say anything. one of her friends just called my sister on everything (wasting her life/productive years by not working from ages 32-46+) and she’s been stressing about it, “like all the worst thoughts in your head were said outloud by friend,” and therapist is just listenin.
        yes, i’ve posted before.
        yes, i know it’s not my circus or monkeys.

        1. I think it’s rare for the first therapist to be the winner, even if people need to give them a chance.

        2. So your sister needs a real therapist and not someone who, as my Dad says, ‘This is what my generation used the priest for, and it was free’.

          Not working from 32-46+ indicates some serious problems. Why isn’t she starting with a neuropsych evaluation to identify the problem?

          I use therapists for my children and 80% are not good. The really good ones need 5 sessions to identify, sort and reinforce the problem.

    3. My understanding is that a counselor’s role is to provide guidance, a therapist’s role is to help you understand yourself. In my limited experience, that distinction is not made clear to the patient and it can lead to major disappointment with the interactions you have with your provider.

      1. There’s something to this (at a minimum there are many different therapeutic approaches).

        But I never want to pay someone to sit there and stare while I talk and offer nothing but active listening. Maybe someone does want that, but I don’t understand why so much education and training was needed.

  9. Are we still wearing DVF wrap dresses in 2026? Or DVF print shift dresses? As work items (what even is a work outfit these days) or for dinners out? I miss the era where one garment seemed to work for a full day and most of a working woman’s life events and travelled well.

    1. I wear my DVF wrap dresses to work sometimes still. If I had a dinner that night, I would have no qualms wearing it to that as well.

    3. Dvf is still making the classic style that you might have. But when I looked at her stuff just now it seems like a lot more longer midi and maxi length styles than I recall back when we wore them more than a decade ago. I think that’s a fresher update if it works for you.

    4. I have one that didn’t work as a pear. Now as a menopausal pear (broader spread below the waist), it is worse. Does not fit my shape at any size. Was not size-flexible as advertised. I have an original iconic print in the silk knit and my only question is if I should put side for a teen who is more of a trim hourglass in shape.

    6. Absolutely yes, the Sana dress in particular. It’s wrap-ish but also has buttons. It travels well and I have it in two colors plus a pattern.

  10. Soft collar plus blazer screams, I forgot about this meeting and threw on a blazer hoping that nobody will notice.

    1. I’m not sure this is a universal truth, particularly in the post-pandemic workplace.

  11. What’s for dinner tonight, or what has recently been for dinner? I need inspo for the week and bonus points if it works for a family of 5 on the go ;).

    1. I did pulled pork sliders with a vinegar slaw over the weekend and it was overall good, but the pulled pork didn’t have as much flavor as I expected. Not sure if I should’ve added even more BBQ sauce after it came out of the slow cooker? Sliders have been a great way to make portions GLP-1 friendly.

    4. We’re having the orzo pumpkin sausage thing from this month’s Jenn Eats Good. Except I plan to use spinach instead of kale. I doubled it to feed 3 hungry teens but am expecting leftovers for lunch. My kids will basically Hoover it.

    7. Sunday was braised beef with polenta and a green salad, last night was leftovers. Tonight is chicken pot pie, Wednesday is air fryer night, Thursday is tacos.

      1. I’m eating leftovers of the above tonight.

        I added some chard to it as well, as it reminded me of the NYT African peanut stew, which has kale in it which adds nice texture.

    11. baked potato bar with canned chili, sour cream, cheese, and some kind of frozen veg on the side. Potatoes bake while we’re doing activity pick-up (I’m ok with the oven being on while I’m not home, but ymmv)

  12. As cooler weather approaches, I need some new tights. I hate control top and want something that won’t emphasize lumps below my bra. In the past couple of years, I’ve just sized up and tried to tuck the top of the tights under my bra, but surely there is a better way.

    1. I’m flummoxed thinking how you’re hiking tights up to your bra! You must be 4’10! Hue tights are classic for a reason, but I’d go to a department store and buy a few different kinds of tights that looked promising – the investment isn’t that high. Look for non-control top. (If you’re looking at sheerer varieties, no control top is sometimes labeled “sheer to waist”.)

  13. What are some good, kid-appropriate audiobooks? I have a 5 year old stepson and I’d like to get him more interested in stories or narratives in general. He’s autistic and ADHD so following the plot of a movie, for example, can be difficult for him. I’m hoping audiobooks could be another tool in our toolbox to help build that skill. He does ok with picture books when he can sit still, but I’m thinking audiobooks might be good for the car.

    Any suggestions?

    1. I wish you luck. My son is autistic and 12 and still doesn’t care about stories or narratives, TV and movies are just beyond him and books leave his head after a second. I went to one conference where an SLP said that’s the case for many adult autistics, she’s even been told “I love reading, it’s so calming,” but they don’t retain any information it’s just a flood of words. I’ve seen similar threads on FB groups for adult autistics.

      But Scholastics Branches books come as audiobooks. Big range. Ask his SLP or OT for more help understanding his particular struggles.

      1. This is definitely a thing. Sometimes there’s something that randomly clicks one day too. (And disproportionately I feel it’s something like Ultraman or Pili! I wonder if it is something about the pacing or the spectacle.)

      2. This is helpful…he’s also minimally verbal, so I’m hoping (maybe naively) that an increased exposure to words being spoken, expressive and receptive speech, and narratives being told by people other than me and his dad would help with speech…I get weary of narrating everything we’re doing all the time :)

        1. my best advice is to look up Late Talkers Consulting and book a video consult with Mary. We’ve worked with a million speech therapists over the years and she is consistently the one who has blown my mind. We’ve had maybe 4 or 5 consults with her over a decade.

          There are also two books that are helpful of the same name. Late Talking Children by Sowell and a second by Camerarta (Mary’s husband).

      3. Very curious who these supposed adult autistics are who don’t retain information because all the adult autists I know are hyper focused on their field of study and retain EVERYTHING, thus becoming experts.

        1. probably not the ones specializing in fields of study… it’s called a spectrum for a reason. not everyone is elon musk.

    2. What’s he interested in? My kids liked the Percy Jackson audiobooks, and my youngest was probably around 5 when we started listening to them. Bonus, the main character has ADHD and it’s treated as a positive trait.

      1. Seeing ADHD portrayed as a positive trait in those books was such a good thing. I thought about it all the time as an adult too.

      2. Magic Treehouse books! Each short book builds on the narrative but they also serve well as stand-along short stories. It can also be fun to pull out a map or globe to show where in the world they traveled to for each book.

    3. Is a toni box or a yoto player out of the question? They have smaller stories he could listen to.

    5. My 5 and 4 YO kids like Frog and Toad, audiobooks of movies like Cars, Thomas the Tank Engine podcast stories, Magic Tree House books, Winnie the Pooh, and a Yoto-specific story series called BrainBots that’s about “knowledge-gathering” robots that go on adventures to learn about the ocean, jungle, dinosaurs, etc.

      1. Just adding – the car is a great way to introduce audiobooks. There’s nothing distracting or more fun to do. If you get a Yoto player, you can also download the story or music cards to your phone so you can access them without the player itself. We listen to a lot of short stories on the 10-15 minute drive home from daycare.

    6. Try a Yoto player! Then he can pick the stories, which are generally 5-12 mins long, place the card in the player, and listen along. My 5 year old does not do well with podcasts or audiobooks, but loves the yoto player. I think having it allows him to feel like he has some control (putting the card in, taking it out).

    7. Our kids loved the audiobook of D’Aulaire’s Book of Greek Myths. It’s basically short stories, so maybe that would be a good gateway to longer narratives. The best part is that it’s narrated by Matthew Broderick, Paul Newman, Kathleen Turner, and Sidney Poitier, who is THE GREATEST.

      1. this is a great audiobook BUT the flute tune they play after every myth became very grating. Also, it seems like the mixing was off or something — Broderick especially was SO QUIET, and then if for example the maps directions came on they were incredibly loud in comparison…

        1. also, thanks for the opportunity to vent about the random audiobook flute that has annoyed me for a year plus, lol!

          1. Hahaha, I’m the one who recommended this audiobook, and I know exactly the flute you are talking about! Yes, it does get repetitive, but listening to Sidney Poitier’s dramatic baritone made it worth it. I used to make my kids laugh by impersonating him talking about mundane things.

    8. Maybe too young for him, but my nearly 5 year old still LOVES the Nate the Great audio books. We borrow the collections via libby. They are simple and repetitive “detective” stories.

    9. My son is ADHD and autistic. When he was 5, following the plot of a movie or long book was difficult for him. I’d start smaller. The Circle Round podcast has fantastic stories that promote empathy, and they always include some listener engagement. Episodic books, like The Adventures of Winnie the Pooh and Pippi Longstocking, worked when he was around that age. I also found that the Hoopla app has several “movies” that are actually picture books being read aloud with simple animations.

  14. Doing a week-long conference with a government organization in DC and thinking about trying to travel with carry-on only. What would you bring?

    1. How many days? I’d plan pieces that I can re-wear in different combos. Something like a dress, trousers, blouse, sweater, and blazer, where I can wear the dress alone, dress with sweater over it, or dress with blouse under it, trousers with blouse and blazer, trousers with sweater over blouse, dress with blazer, etc. And two pair of shoes, because my feet do not like to wear the same pair two days in a row.

      1. Thank you – this is helpful! It will be five days at the conference plus travel days. I like your recommendations and might add one more blouse and pair of trousers.

    2. From my own wardrobe, I’d bring black and navy pants, a camel blazer that matches with both pants, and a mix of non-wrinkling tops, plus one extra pair of pants like jeans for post-conference dinner. The challenge is shoes take up a lot of space in my carry on, so I’d bring black loafers, brown loafers, and sneakers (which I would wear on the plane).

    3. I carry on only for most trips. I would pack more sweater jacket versus full blazer unless you’re going to wear a neutral color and repeat it. I would take 2-3 pairs of black pants with short sleeve sweaters or shells, 1-2 pairs of jeans to change into after the conference, and maybe a dress if there is a networking event. You can rewear things, but most carryons easily fit a week of clothes.

    4. OP here – so many great suggestions! Thank you all for the inspiration. I look forward to shopping my closet when I get home tonight.

    5. This is partly dependent on weather and how far I am flying but generally:
      Two pairs of trousers (in my case black and grey by YMMV). Whether one of these is my travel pant depends on how far I am going. If I am flying all day, I am wearing my AYR High Hopes and those are not really conference pants.
      Three tops to go with the trousers – usually nice t-shirts or thin sweaters because I do not want to deal with wrinkling and dislike poly tops
      One dress (soft; not something that will wrinkle) that can be worn alone and with blazer. Bonus if it goes with the cardigan as well. I had a navy that was perfection, but it sadly needs to be replaced so I am on the hunt.
      Two blazers that go with the trousers and at least one of which goes with the dress
      A cardigan usually worn on the plane
      Two pairs of shoes. These days one of those is usually a pair of black and white Addidas because after the first day most conferences are pretty casual but know your industry. I can also wear the sneakers to travel. If I am concerned about rain, I might wear my flat waterproof booties that can also be worn with the pants.
      A black belt
      A scarf that goes with at least one blazer for a repeat day.

      It is a tight fit, but I can put all of this in a carry-on

    6. I’m a dress girl, so for me this is five dresses, a blazer, two pairs of shoes.

  15. can you wear tights with slingback heels? i live in a hot climate but am going somewhere cold for a wedding/rehearsal dinner. is opaque black tights still good to wear with a dress?

    1. Opaque tights are not to be worn with slingback shoes or with wedding guest attire.

    2. I see it done but always think it looks like a seasonal mix-up. Sort of like wearing shorts with your winter coat.

    4. No, definitely no on the opaque black tights with slingback heels.

      How cold is cold? Just wear shear hose with your slingbacks, as long as there is no snow on the ground.

      You can wear opaque black tights with dresses, but it depends on the dress I think, as well as the shoes. I do it more often with winter looks with boots/booties.

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