Tuesday’s TPS Report: Black Warrior Print Jersey Shift Dress

Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

Nicole Miller black warrior print jersey shift dressLoving this black “warrior print” dress from Nicole Miller for fall — the print is fun without being over the top, and the simple palette of black and white helps subdue it for the office. I’d wear it with black tights, black pumps, and pearls for the office. Was $290, now $139 at Bluefly (there’s an extra 20% off today that’s reflected in the price). Nicole Miller black warrior print jersey shift dress

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  1. Fantastic deal alert: just found these classic pumps at Brooks Brothers buy one get one 40% off, already marked down from $238.00 to $47.00. I bought a pair in every color.

    I’ve bought several pairs of brooks brothers shoes in the past, and they tend to run narrow but stretch very well when broken in.

    • I saw those pumps earlier — fantastic deal, but I was a little bit put off by the mixed reviews & the fact that a heel on a pair of BB pumps I bought recently literally just came off for no reason on my way to work (the shoes have maybe been worn 12 times). When you get yours in the mail, please let us know how they are.

      • Anonymous from above :

        Will do. As I mentioned, I have several pairs from BB (both pumps and flats) and haven’t noticed any quality issues yet. They are generally very good with returns though if you bring them back into your local store.
        I’m really not trying to shill for BB, I have just been very pleased with their clothing quality and value when I buy things on their sales.

    • Can you provide a link? I can’t find anything marked down to $47 on their website.

      • Me neither – I hope they’re not sold out already!

        • I tried putting a link in twice but it isn’t showing up–go to brooks brothers–> women–> clearance–> shoes. They’re pair on the top left corner, available in black, navy, and burgundy and in plenty of sizes.

        • Found them – they’re in the clearance section.

      • Not sure why a link isn’t showing up. Here goes again . . .


    • Bummer!!! My size is already sold out in every color =( Good for the wallet, but I’m still bummed.

    • thanks! got two pairs (black and burgundy) – was looking for a new pair of basic black pumps :)

  2. I am not sure I would describe this print as “fun without being over the top” for the office. I certainly wouldn’t wear it to work . . . unless maybe it was Friday & my law office was somewhere on South Beach.

    • No kidding. I have a headache just looking at it.

    • Yeah, I had to look a couple times to realize it was a dress and not a tunic. Not my style.

    • anon - chi :

      I can’t decide. I love wearing dresses to the office and I like the black and white, but I feel like the pattern might be too big for me at 5’3″.

      • I think it woudl be too big for anyone.

        • I agree. I can usually hide bold prints because my headscarf drapes over my shoulders and chest but I don’t think any scarf could help with this one. I like wearing “loud” things but there’s just something unbalanced about the patterns in this dress.

          Anyway, a dress like this would look awesome with wide-legged black or white pants and sky-high heels.

    • Anonymous K :

      Agreed. On someone else, it would strike me as a cute beachy dress, perhaps even a swimsuit cover-up. On me, the print would be just be too much. I would think it was odd on anyone at the office.

      • Maybe I’m too conservative but the dress is (1) too short for my 5:4 frame (2) too loud especially the large circles on the chest/tummy area

        And I normally don’t shy away from print & colour!

  3. That is one gorgeous dress!

    • I agree. I think it’s really interesting and if I could pull it off, I would–black tights and flattish shoes would help with the length.

  4. Threadjack :

    hate the dresssss :(

    • Hey, Threadjack, lighten up or stop trolling. You said the shoes posted yesterday were “grosssssssss.”

      • i'm nobody :

        to be fair, those shoes *were* “grosssssssss.”

        • Threadjack :

          hey hey, I’m not trolling…chill! I do think that both items are pretty hideous…so awful in fact that they don’t merit a longer reply.

  5. That print is not particularly attractive. If you want this type of dress there are lots of printed matte jersey dresses available on sale at Nordstrom, Macy’s, etc for $50-60 or even less.

  6. I like the dress, but it appears 100% too short for the office. As soon as you sit half of your thigh (whether under tights or not) is out there!

  7. I like it. It wouldn’t fly at my office but I would definitely wear it out to dinner or on weekends.

  8. I like it, but maybe not for my everyday office wear. I agree with a previous poster, though. Way too much for what it is–you can easily find a facsimile of this for waaaay less money at Macys or TJ Maxx/Marshalls.

  9. I like the overall pattern of the dress, and as I am 5’2″, the length would probably be fine. However, there is some weird design element right above the hem and centered mid-thigh, might be an abstract flower and leaves design. I adamantly avoid any type of special designs in the thigh or lower stomach area, they can look odd seen from different angles and is just not an area I want to call attention to with my dress.

  10. Bachelorette party gift :

    I have a friend’s bachelorette party coming up. Any ideas on a reasonably priced gift? I’m already spending a lot of money for the weekend so would prefer the gift to not be over the top. I’ve thought about just getting something off of her registry, but I’d like to hear about other options too. Thanks!

    • I have never bought bachelorette party gifts and I don’t think there is any expectation of doing so…. I would keep it small if this is the norm in your group, like a nice framed pic of the two of you and a thoughtful card.

    • I always thought lingerie was the appropriate bachlorette party gift?

    • Another Sarah :

      I recently got my friend the Kama Sutra (the full verse version, as in the piece of literature; she was a classics major), and another Guide-to-XXX book. However, I was originally going to get her a nice bathrobe, as I wasn’t sure how she would respond to said books. The books were about $30 and the robe was about $40, I ended up returning the robe because I decided to throw all reason to the wind and go with the books. What about someting like a teddy and silky robe? They’re relatively inexpensive at Macy’s.

      Does she have a registry for her bachelorette? Or were you talking about her wedding registry?

    • Anonymous K :

      I’ve always done lingerie, “adult toys,” etc., depending on the “wildness” of the bride and the group. There are also a ton of bachelorette gag gifts you can pick up. Again, this depends on the bride’s style (and on how well you know her).

    • I very rarely buy a gift for a b’lette party. I can think only think of a handful of people that I’ve given a b’lette gift to (out of perhaps 20-25 b’lette parties that I’ve attended in recent memory). In that case it was usually one of the previously suggested “intimate” gifts or a bottle of booze/wine/champagne. In my opinion, a b’lette party is just an occassion to get together and celebrate – not a gift giving occassion.

      (FWIW, I’m 30 and all my friends have tied the knot relatively recently)

    • I usually assume that the plane tickets I’ve purchased, hotel room, chipping in at dinner, and buying rounds of drinks at the bar are enough of a gift for the bride. I think gifts off the registry is something you do for the wedding itself (though I guess a second gift is usually expected at the bridal shower as well)…I think we had this conversation a few months ago
      Bottom line, though, I’d coordinate with the other ladies participating in the party to see whether you get one gift for her, or whether there’s a theme to the gifts…showing up with lingerie when everyone else has bought kitchenware could be a bit awkward.

      • “I guess a second gift is usually expected at the bridal shower as well”

        Is this true? Not very many of my friends have gotten married yet, but I was under the impression that the gift for the bridal shower IS the wedding gift. I definitely don’t want to cheap out on my friends in the future, and would love to know if this is, in fact, the expectation.

        • Anonymous K :

          This is definitely the expectation! In my experience, engagement party gifts are not necessary, but if one is given, it should be something small, like a bottle of wine. Bachelorette party gifts are also not necessary, though I typically give one. I always do something off the registry for the shower and cash for the wedding, but I know a lot of people who do something off the registry for both. I’ve never heard of someone giving a gift for only the shower or the wedding.

          • How much cash do you give for a wedding?

          • It depends on how close we are to the couple and if we had to travel and pay for a hotel (if we shelled out $1000 on plane tickets and a room, sorry, I can’t also spend $250 on your gift). Typically $150 if we had to travel and aren’t especially close; $200 or more otherwise. (This is for my husband and me; if I were single it would probably be half that.)

          • Anonymous K :

            I usually give $100 since I typically don’t bring a date. My sister’s wedding was about a year ago and I’d say most of my sister’s friends, who are in their 20/early 30’s gave about $150/couple. My parents’ friends, on the other hand, gave about $300/couple. But they are much more established in their careers.

            I also think it depends on how close you are with the bride and groom. I was recently invited to the wedding of a friend I’ve barely spoken to in the five years since I graduated college. I did attend the wedding, but knocked my gift down to $50 (for just me, no date). Her parents paid for the wedding; I honestly think she invited a whole bunch of people just to get more gifts/money, since she didn’t have to pay for the additional people.

            I personally don’t change the amount of my gift if I have to travel to the bride/groom’s hometown, but sometimes give a little less if it’s a destination wedding that everyone has to travel to. And I certainly understand why some people would give less if they have to travel; it can get expensive!

          • anon - chi :

            We give $200 as a couple, unless it is a very close friend (in which case, $300 or equivalent gift) or someone we don’t know very well ($150). Personally I would not go under $150 given where we are in our careers, but I think a smaller check is okay if you are a student or just starting out. If you need to go under $100, I would personally get something from the registry instead.

          • Is it just me, or does anyone else think/was brought up to believe it is just tacky to give cash at weddings? (Only exception in my view is if it is the cultural expectation – e.g. Chinese weddings where a hong bao is expected).

          • Anonymous K :

            I’ve actually read multiple places that it’s more proper to give cash than a check because it makes it easier on the couple. I think there are too many different etiquette experts who say different thing.

          • No, I mean cash as opposed to an actual gift.

            I kind of think it just says you couldn’t be bothered to put any thought into the gift.

          • Anonymous K :

            Because picking something off a registry requires so much thought?

            I actually looked it up after your first comment because I couldn’t remember where it was that I had read to bring actual cash instead of a check and every single site I found listed cash as one of the top gifts to bring to a wedding (but I couldn’t find where I read that actual money was preferable to a check, even though I know I did not make that up!).

          • I do think cash is tacky, personally, but if you’re strict about it, so are registries in my opinion (see Ms. Manners, “begging is begging, no matter how you put it.”)

            I do cash, however, if I know that is what the recipient would prefer b/c the gift should be about making the giftee happy. But, that said, I do try to give a thoughtful gift whenever possible, inc. when I was the only one who brought a gift to a 300+ wedding — and for what it’s worth, every time I see the bride, she mentions how much she loves her gift as they don’t even remember what they blew the cash on.

          • Wow, is $200 or $300 a couple normal?? We always give $100 total and I thought that was fine, considering we were paying for flight, hotel, etc.

          • @wow — whether you buy a gift or you give $, I think that the amount is dependent on your region, your age, your level of closeness, and various other factors, inc. whether you had to travel for the event & how far.

            I am in NY & in my late 20s. Seeing as how most of the people I know are just getting started in their careers, as I am, too, I usually spend about $150 on a gift if it’s me & the s.o. If I am very close to the newlyweds, I spend a bit more, closer to $200 -$250 for 2. For a very,very close friend’s wedding, I spent $300 on a gift, but that was a wedding where most people were giving cash & probably at least that much per couple, and probably much more. I don’t think any amount is “required” — I try to give what makes me feel comfortable, both in terms of not feeling cheap, and also in terms of not becoming broke.

            That said, I have no idea if I am in the range of normal/acceptable b/c NO ONE I know shares actual numbers except the girl whose wedding involved everyone giving sh*tloads of m0ney — and she might not be the best guide as in her culture, you are expected to go waaaaaaaaaaaay out there in terms of spending. Everyone else just says, “Oh, I got something off the registry, I don’t remember what it was.”

          • One other point–please, please don’t bring a non-envelope gift “to” the wedding–have it sent to the home of the couple or the bride’s parents or someone either beforehand or afterward. As a bride and as a bridesmaid, it is incredibly stressful at the end of the night trying to wrangle all the gifts together and load them into whatever vehicle is there. It is so easy for gifts to get lost, separated from the identifying card, etc. You would be doing everyone a favor by sending the gift separately and just showing up yourself. Even envelopes are dangerous–everyone knows someone who knows someone who’s been to a wedding where a waiter or a crasher or -awful- another guest walked away with some of the envelopes or the gift box. Always preferable to send to the house!!
            And I don’t think money is a tacky gift at all. Not particularly memorable, yes, but I don’t know any newly married couple that wouldn’t be thrilled with a check.

          • SF Bay Associate :

            Seconding Jay’s point about not bringing gifts to the wedding. At a friend’s wedding last year, several gifts and envelopes apparently disappeared. But the bride wasn’t sure if there ever was a gift from Great Aunt Sue (who would think that the gifts were stolen??), and didn’t send a thank you note for a non-existent gift. The bride’s not the gift-grubbing type, and thought Great Aunt Sue’s gift was flying out for the wedding.

            Later, Great Aunt Sue asks Mother of the Bride if bride didn’t like the gift or something happened because no thank you note… and then they figured out what happened. The mothers of the couple had to reach out to all the relatives and try to figure out what was missing just so no one’s feelings were hurt for not getting thank you notes. It was a disaster. She still doesn’t know if it was a guest, a caterer, or what.

            Please, please send gifts ahead of time to their home.

        • Yeah two gifts, one for the shower and one for the wedding. Shower is usually a smaller gift. What I tend to do, personally, is do a gift of the registry for the shower (something in the 40 range) and then a check or giftcard for the wedding.

        • Definitely separate gifts–the shower gift and the wedding gift have always been different at the 25+ weddings I’ve attended (including my own). I’ve never heard of them being combined.

          Bachelorette gifts on the other hand….not done in my circle of friends/family. The hotel, drinks, dinner, possible plane ticket = enough of a gift IMO.

          • SF Bay Associate :

            Agreed. The last bachelorette I went to involved flight, hotel, three days of meals, drinks/table service at a club for myself plus my share of all of the bride’s expenses. After all that, there was no way I was also buying her a bachelorette gift too. If gifts are required, a giftset of hanky panky thongs or something else under $30 would suffice.

        • SF Bay Associate :

          Yes, the bridal shower gift is a separate gift from the wedding gift, though is usually much smaller than the actual wedding gift. But note that if you attend the bridal shower, the bride’s female family will probably be there. The bride opens the gifts while the guests are there so we can all ooooooooh over her new pyrex set. Given the public viewing, including her mother and possibly her mother-in-law, a cheap set of kitchen utensils is probably not going to cut it.

          • I don’t agree with this. A thoughtfully selected but inexpensive gift is perfectly fine. I often get a selection of my favorite kitchen gadgets, a cookbook with a coordinated dish or gadget, or a cute set of dessert plates from Crate and Barrel or even Target. If you can afford it and want to impress, fine, but I don’t think it’s necessary. I guess like all things, it’s important to gauge your specific situation.

        • FYI, from Miss Manners herself: “Anything beyond a small present if you attend a bridal shower and one wedding present is ridiculous, no matter what people seem to expect.” (This was from an on-line chat she did at Washington Post back in March.)

          But, yes, people [seem to] expect at least two gifts. Which is a bit cheeky, but seems to be the trend.

          • Anonymous K :

            Eh, different etiquette experts seem to say different things. I think asking people what they do is a better way to figure out what’s the norm.

          • I actually didn’t expect two gifts. Most of my guests gave at one occasion. Those invited to the shower + wedding gave one large gift at the shower. Those invited to the wedding only gave the gift at the wedding. I didn’t get multiples from anyone, and there were quite a few guests who didn’t bring gifts at all. I wasn’t offended, I didn’t get married to get gifts.

          • anon - chi :

            I think it’s ridiculous to expect MORE than two (i.e. brides who have four showers and invite the same people to more than one) but I think one for the wedding and one for the shower is perfectly acceptable. After all, if a guest doesn’t want to give a shower gift, she can simply decline the invitation. There is absolutely no expectation of a gift from someone who doesn’t come to the shower. I also know a couple people who have received handmade gifts, and they were really touched by the effort involved. It’s a great solution if you don’t want to shell out a ton of money.

            But attending a wedding or shower and not bringing a gift is absolutely tacky, 100% of the time. Even if you are broke, you can bake cookies, knit something, etc.

          • Maybe this is regional? I did not expect (or receive, for the most part) a gift for the shower and the wedding. Most folks who brought a present to the shower did not bring something else to the wedding.

        • Yes, definitely gift for bridal showers in addition to wedding. That’s how it’s been at the ones I’ve attended, at least. The bridal shower gifts are almost all off the registry and are surprisingly generous. Then I’ll do cash for the wedding itself. This was a completely shocking and new concept to me when the wave of weddings started for me about three years ago, but I’ve seen it repeated time and again.

          My crowd hasn’t done many bachelorette parties, but the couple I’ve been to, I’ve brought cutesy gag-type gifts and many but not all people came with gifts including underwear, VS gift cards, adult items, etc. These have been well defined ~3 hour brunch/drinks type events. If it’s a whole weekend in Vegas or something, this may not apply.

        • Another Sarah :

          I’ve done a registry gift for the shower, little gift for the bachelorette, small amt of cash/check in a card for the wedding. These three things together have never cost more than $100. That said, I don’t have a career yet and very few of my friends have actually gotten married. The ones that have are also at the same place in life I am so are appropriately grateful and thankful for all gifts, regardless of how much was in the envelope.

          Just a PSA: my friend just got married, and she’s having a REALLY rough time. Her new husband’s family “doesn’t do registries,” so none of the presents from his side were anything they wanted/needed. It’s not a case of getting the wrong color of plates; my friend now has a collection of wedding-theme figurines or picture frames that she would give anything to return if only they had given her the receipts. Obviously she was gracious, sent thank you cards, etc. But now they don’t have the usual household necessities that she was counting on from her registry, like more than 3 plates, a full silverware set, glasses, mixing bowls, etc. And after paying for the wedding, honeymoon, and a sudden and unexpected move across the country (where they had to then pack up all the figurines they received), they don’t have the cash to just go and buy what they need. So please do the happy couple a favor and get them something they asked for. Going off-registry is cool, but if the gift is useful then it’s even cooler. :-)

          • SF Bay Associate :

            I’d Ebay everything except a few pieces from relatives who will actually visit them someday, like her husband’s parents.

            Also, she should do some sleuthing and see if anything came from (or could have come from) a brick and mortar chain, like Bed Bath or Macy’s and see if she can get store credit. Even if all she gets is the current selling price, that could result in a mixing bowl or two.

          • I get not unexpected costly situations but I don’t understand the concept of “expecting” to be able to set up your house from wedding gifts. I understand that maybe parents, siblings, relatives and close friends *might* get you things that will help (like a bedroom set, lamps, whatever) but depending on gifts for silverware and mixing bowls? Am I naive in assuming that your wedding planning, or marriage planning, rather, should include a budget for setting up your home?

          • Totally agree with you, Ru, especially since these days more and more people are older when they get married, have established jobs and have been out of their parents’ house for a while! I agree with registries because I don’t want to get people things they don’t need, but setting up an entire house?

          • Another Sarah :

            In my experience, my friends who didn’t have households of their own and lived at home before they got married depended on their registries to provide the household goods. Why else register for things like mixing bowls, etc, if you already have them? Obviously, it’s one thing to rely on your registry to supply all your fine china then complain when you don’t get it, but I think it’s reasonable to rely on your registry for the everyday household things that you don’t already have, or to replace worn items that you do already have. I have four married friends, all of whom relied on their registries for everything except furniture.

            She didn’t register for furniture, or bigger items like that. It was pretty much all kitchen and bath stuff, and then her china, silver, and crystal patterns. I also completely agree with you re: the budget-setting for setting up the household. But when one (or both) people are in school or just out of school, a budget for household things may simply not exist. Everyone’s situation is different. :-)

          • I think people have a right to expect that if someone gets them a gift, it will be a gift that that person thinks the recipient would like. And I also think that wedding gifts traditionally were viewed as helping the newlyweds set up their home–at least the kitchen and linen closet. A bedroom set as a wedding gift seems extreme, unless it’s from parents. So, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with hoping that you’ll get wedding gifts that you can USE–and most people know that the registry is the place to look for what the couple actually wants and needs.

          • I completely agree that everyone’s situation is different but I don’t think that someone who sets up a registry should expect that everyone will get them something from the registry or that they will/should receive everything listed on their registry, no matter how reasonable it is. I also think that most people do try to give something within their means that they think the couple will like. I understand that my view at the end of the day is not, nor should it be, everyone’s view but at the end of the day, a gift is a gift!

          • Ru, I so agree with you.
            I get that registries are incredibly convenient for some people — the giftee says what they want, the gifter doesn’t have to think of something actually thoughtful to get (great age we live in). But people have become incredibly obnoxious about it. One couple I know was so annoyed they didn’t get all 12 settings of their fine china set (they got about 3/4), they returned *everything* that they registered for & just took cash. A co-worker I know said that “half the reason he got married is b/c his wife wanted kitchen stuff.” So happy I didn’t send a gift….

          • I have to agree with Ru and AIMS. We’re no longer in the days where people live with their parents until they get married. Most people have moved out of home long before marriage and many people live together in a house that one or both of the couple owns long before they get married. I find it hard to believe that my friend who bought her house in 2004 and has been living with her fiance since 2006 really has anything new she absolutely needs to start life as a couple. I would say of my friends, very few have not lived together for at least a few years before marriage.

          • Agreed – if you know the couple and know that they were living at home and really do need to set up a household that’s one thing. But if, like most of my friends, the couple just wants to upgrade their functional IKEA kitchenware to Williams and Sonoma,* I think it’s up to the giver whether they want to go that direction or another. In the end, it’s a gift not a financial transaction. Couples bankrupting themselves to pay for a wedding on the theory that they’ll get it back in gifts should perhaps consider a less extravagant ceremony that allows them to buy the things they need themselves.

            * And hey, nothing wrong with that – I like nice kitchenware as much as the next girl.

          • My cousin registered for individual kitchen utensils at Bed Bath & Beyond. While I appreciated the thought of providing cheaper alternatives, I thought a $2 whisk was perhaps something they could have gotten for themselves. Nice, fancy stuff for a cook is one thing. But I think the couple should anticipate getting everyday tools for themselves.

          • It can go the other way, too. I spent a lot of valuable and stressful time (short planning period, no time off work) registering for things we could use, and I really appreciated it when people bought off the registry. While I understand the desire to be thoughtful, it usually leads to getting a lot of stuff we didn’t want or need. My husband and I both had our own fully-stocked places before we got married, so while I appreciated all the well-meaning people who thought every couple needs new kitchen supplies, I really had no idea what to do with a third complete set of non-stick cooking pans (that came with no receipt).

            Same thing happened with baby registries. I spent hours registering, and a lot of people ended up giving me stuff off of it that they thought I had “forgotten” to register for or didn’t think of. Really I either already had it or decided I didn’t have room for it in my house.

          • I’m with Ru and AIMS here. Guests should view gifts as mandatory, but hosts should view gifts as completely optional. Acting like you’re entitled to your gifts is pretty ridiculous. They can sell the knick-knacks, or donate them to Goodwill or some other charity (who will throw them out if they can’t sell them). Or put them on ebay. It’s outrageously crazy to move across the country with them.

            If your financial situation forces you to choose between household goods and a big wedding, then you don’t have my sympathy if you choose the wedding. Especially if you KNOW that your in-laws won’t do the registry.

      • Agreed; I’ve actually never heard of bachelorette party gifts.

    • I didn’t think a gift was necessary for the bachelorette party. Did the bride have a bridal shower? If so, I would have a hard time imagining that she would expect yet another gift from you (in addition to an actual wedding gift).
      If you really want to get her something, just pick her up some inexpensive lingerie from VS or Fredrick’s. VS usually has some some stuff with wedding/bride related phrases on thm.

    • Bachelorette party gift :

      Thanks everyone for the comments. I should have mentioned that the itinerary includes a time allotted for “drinks and gifts” so I think it’s pretty clear that we should bring a gift. :) I’ll probably pick up something small.

      • OMG, I think that she indicated drinks and GIFTS is obnoxious! I am older (50s) and I am appalled at the entitlement mentality of some brides (couples) today. Not all of them I am sure, but in the “old” days a shower was a low key event where you got kitchen type items. Wedding gifts were off of your registry (if you had one) or people gave you cash (I mean a check here, I would not give actual cash.) I grew up out east in a metro area and we did NOT bring gifts to the wedding, you mailed them to the bride. I realize each region/culture has somewhat different traditions. However I think its obnoxious that some brides expect expensive SHOWER gifts and to get most, if not all, these items at their shower or even at their wedding. Recently a Bride’s registry had sheets that were over $100 for one sheet (not even a set) and china that was about $400 a place setting. She is a teacher…you get my idea….

        • Egads, that’s tacky. I always look to the registry because I like to give gifts that I know the couple wants, but that always depends on the couple setting up a reasonable registry, i.e. a registry with gifts in a variety of price ranges. If the cheapest item on your Bergdorf’s registry is a $100 teaspoon, then yeah, I’m going off-registry. But if I plan to spend $50 and there’s a $49.99 item on the registry or two $25 items–done and I know I’m getting something the couple will actually use.

          (And totally agree on never bringing the gift to the wedding. That’s just asking for trouble.)

      • WHO came up with that itinerary? If the bride herself wrote “drinks and gifts,” she is a gift-grabby person who has totally bought into the consumerist “my speshul DAAAAAAY” attitude promoted by the wedding industrial complex. I would buy a $5 bottle of massage oil and be done with it.

      • In my experience, bachelorette parties is the time for the girlfriends to give skanky/sexy things, and the gift time is for giggling over them like immature teenagers. This is where the leapord print/feather boa or whipped cream/chocolate sauce come in. Or if your friend is more demure and/or you don’t know her that well, a nice satin slip.

    • If you give her a wedding shower gift and money for the wedding going to the bachelorette party is enough, ie: paying for drinks, etc. Plus she probably will not want to deal with a bunch of gifts. The bachelorette party should just be a fun night out where she can forget about all the hassles of the wedding.

  11. I agree with other commenters that it’s close to the edge – but given the colours, yes, it just falls short of being over the top! Love it.

  12. Too short, and a bit too loud for my office. I do like the print though. :)

  13. Need Corporettes’ advice re what basic pieces you’d suggest to make a business casual wardrobe more formal. I don’t need to wear a suit everyday but need to be conservative (biglaw in CA). Hard to take cues at office bc so few female attys! Would love specific store or items suggestions — thanks!

    • This may get attacked as boring or conformist, but look at what the men are wearing and tailor it to a woman’s wardrobe. If all your male coworkers are in button down shirts and dress pants daily with conservative shoes/belts, then aim for a feminine version of the same – a nice blouse in a conservative cut/color, a pencil skirt (or a-line if that suits your body best, or pants that you wouldn’t also wear clubbing), and conservative pumps of whatever heel height makes you most comfortable. Maybe vary it a bit with some cashmere sweaters instead of the blouse on certain days, other small changes.

      • surrounded by lawyers :

        No attacks here–I agree with all of this. I would add that for winter, if you want to do boots, make sure they are conservative and well-maintained, and a traditional height (say, just below knee). If you don’t mind getting ones with a heel, I’d recommend that.

    • Tailored jackets, silk scarves and pearl studs. Just get a few jackets and scarves that will go with most of your existing wardrobe and you’re done.

    • Agree with above.
      For specific items/ideas, I would say you could look to Talbots & Brooks Brothers. Both relatively conservative & even if you aren’t buying the stuff there, I think they do a great job of putting stuff together in interesting way while still maintaining the appropriate level of decorum (though keep in mind both have been trying to be a bit more trendy lately so not every combo featured translates to the office literally.)

    • I suggest some nice cardigans to place over more business casual shirts and nice shoes to dress up some business cas pants or skirts.

      Wear with some pearls and you completely transformed your outfits from semi business to more formal for a limited price.

      • Thanks everybody. I’m also fairly petite so finding work clothes that fit well can be a challenge! Please let me know if you have leads on good petites.

        • Jcrew, Talbots, and Brooks Brothers all have most items available in petites as well as regular, but sometimes there is no better substitute for a good tailor. Factor the cost into your purchase price.

        • Anonymous :

          The blogger at extrapetite.com always has really great outfits! Not my blog, just a fan.

      • This is exactly my tactic! Comfortable, easy, and looks good :)

  14. I feel like the pattern at the bottom draws attention to the crotch area. Now that I see that, I can’t not see it. . .

    I do like the shape and the idea of a graphic black and white slip dress.

  15. Parisienne :

    I had that impresson too. Would not wear it. Not even on the beach. But…would seriously consider buying it and crop out the rectangular portion and have it framed for the wall – as you would frame a silk scarf. I think the print is very handsome, but not for clothing.

  16. Question re: investing in clothes.

    So, I’m ooohing and ahing over the bloomingdales F&F and saks sales and have a question. Coming from the farm world to NY lawyer I never really thought paying $300 for a dress was practicable or feasible or responsible. However, now that I spend 99% of my life in black shifts I’m beginning to rething that.

    My question is, do you find that investing in say a $400 DVF dress is worth it? Or will I do better with 3 calvin klein dresses from lohmans for half that price? Just curious what people who have invested in clothes thing about it.


    • Hm. “Worth it” is a very difficult question and frankly, a personal one. And “investing” is a term I don’t love for thinking about spending on clothes. I guess my question would be, do you perceive the difference in quality/fit/whatever between the CK dress and the DVF dress to be so great that you believe the way that you’ll feel wearing it is worth the difference in price? As someone who lives in Calvin Klein business dresses (and works in biglaw), it isn’t worth it to me to spend that on an everyday item–but it may be to you.

      (also, I totally got a DVF dress at Loehmann’s once – so who knows what you might find?)

      • I agree that it’s a personal question in terms of what works for you.

        I would take into account what you can afford to spend, how many basics you already own/still need, how good you are at taking care of your clothes, bags, shoes, etc., and whether you are fairly constant in terms of your style and shape. None of those factors are, of course, dispositive, but if I know I stain every white shirt I have ever owned, I am not going to run out to Thomas Pink for a white button-down.

        As to DvF vs. CK — I would say not all pieces, even from the same company, are created equal. I would say splurging on a classic DvF silk wrap dress may be worth it if the piece is flattering & something you will wear; on the other hand, I have gotten expensive pieces (inc. from DvF) that just didn’t have the same attention to detail & quality, and have ultimately proved to be a waste of money. Same goes with cheaper items in reverse. Try to pay attention to fabric, where an item is made, stitching, seams, lining, etc. & you’ll soon get a feel for what is and isn’t worth it for you.

    • surrounded by lawyers :

      I really do think “cost per wear” is a helpful concept. I have spent some big bucks on particular clothes and shoes, but have no regrets because I wear these items *constantly* for years and years. If you’re confident in your ability to predict what you’ll wear again and again, and what will hold up in both quality and look, then I think you can go for it. I also feel good about wearing something classy into the ground, as opposed to trying to replace it three times as cheaper versions keep falling apart.

      My general rules, however, prohibit splurging on anything that can’t be worn to work. Sadly, I just don’t have enough off-time to make any article of fun or casual clothing worth spending much on.

    • I’ve generally regretted spending outside my usual (fairly low) range for “quality.” One such quality piece was essentially destroyed following the care instructions and others have stood up about as well with age as their less expensive counterparts in my wardrobe. 10-20% more for something that looks fantastic? Sure. Double or triple? No.

    • Coming from farm to DC lawyer … I have some thoughts. I spent the first few years of my career buying relatively cheap items. I suggest upgrading on certain key pieces once you know that they are something you will wear for years. For example, one of my first buys was a pair of $40 Bandolino “patent leather” pumps in a taupe. I’ve worn those shoes 2 days/week for four years, recobbled the heels a few times, and still love them. I just last week bought a pair of expensive, real patent leather taupe heels to replace them. I know they will be worth the $250 to me. I also have started “investing” in cardigans because I wear them almost daily. But I won’t invest in, for example, button-up shirts because, as professional as they are, I know from my habits by now that I don’t like them and rarely wear them. When choosing an investment piece, I do a lot of research (that’s what I call reading Corporette). :)

      • I also think it is worth considering whether you are the kind of person who likes a lot of variety in her outfits or not. A key advantage of 3 dresses over 1 is that you can have variety and also spread out the wear so quality isn’t as crucial of a consideration. However, if you have one look you are consistently comfortable with (eg, black shifts) then it might make a lot more sense to invest in a really high quality version of that look.

        Personally, I love variety, so I’d go with 3 mid-grade dresses (to me, CK is midgrade) to one super nice one, at least for work. Plus, it also delays trips to the drycleaner/laundry.

    • I think considering cost per wear is a good suggestion. Getting a DvF wrap dress in a distinctive print may not be a good idea because it will probably be hard to wear more than once or twice a month in season. On the other hand, if you get a nicely tailored black blazer that you can wear at least once a week for 2-3 seasons out of the year, it may be worth spending extra. I know I wear a lot of my blazers out after one year, so something that will last 5 years might be worth it to me.

      • Agree on the potential print problem. A black wrap dress seems much more timeless & versatile. I even recall seeing several blogs featuring the the basic black DVF dress done 30 different ways for the month.

        I really like the tip about figuring out what you wear a lot to see what will be worth the extra expense. My own take was to get the best basics I could afford at first (mostly Banana & BB outlet type stuff, on super sale), and then, now that these are covered, to inject some nicer, better quality classics into my wardrobe every few months, when I can afford to spend $200 on a great dress on sale from $400 as opposed to when I needed 3 dresses and had $150 to spend on all of them.

        One other piece of advice is to read here and ask around what actually is worth it in terms of quality. Not everything that’s expensive is well made. Sometimes it’s just expensive.

        • Thanks all. I’m just soo in love with some Tory Burch and DVF dresses. I took the plunge and $1200 later will wait to see what arrives at my door. If I can keep a few good dresses and have them tailored and last, then I’ll be happy.

          I just feel that with cheaper options everythign is too short. When will the regular manufacturers learn that a fitted sheath that goes below the knee is soooo Victoria Beckham and sexy/stylish and work appropriate and really, all I ever want to wear with a 4″ heel.

          Lets hope they fit and thanks for the input.

          • I think this may be height-dependent. I’m 5’4, and CK business dresses fall right at the kneecap for me.

          • i'm nobody :

            fyi, i recently returned most of DvF’s fall catalog (okay, i exaggerate, but still) because nearly everything was too short for me. i’m only 5’10”.

            fwiw, i’ve gotten a number of suits from allsaints’ vintage line (www[dot]us[dot]allsaints[dot]com-). they’ve got some very interesting designs–more fashion-forward than conservative but still appropriate for a law firm–they’re reasonably priced and great quality, but best of all, the skirts hit just below my knee.

        • I’m not good at standing in a store and figuring out whether something will be a go-to item for me. One thing that works for me in terms of figuring out “what works for me” is buying a relatively inexpensive version of something and then upgrading to better quality if I find I wear it a lot. For example, I bought a basic gray cardigan at Old Navy. I wear it all the time, more than black in fact. I’m looking for a more upscale replacement. I also bought some inexpensive swarovski earrings, wear them all the time, and am now looking to get the same style in precious jewelry.

    • Far more important than brand name is FIT. There isn’t anything out there that won’t benefit from a proper tailoring.

      Beyond that, I like DVF silk dresses, because they can be washed in the washing machine and because silk is more of a 4-season material. It breathes.

    • I have a bunch of “expensive” dresses (theory, DVF, DKNY) and some less expensive ones (Banana Republic, Calvin Klein, Ann Taylor) and I find that I wear the expensive ones more because I like them more, they are better quality, and they look better on me. I’ve gotten to the point where I can be selective about what I wear and still not wear the same thing all the time (in other words, I can wear a different outfit every day for two weeks and still have outfits leftover). I’ve found that I never wear my cheaper dresses and wish that instead of buying 3 cheap ones I had bought one expensive one.

      Also, in NYC, people notice what you wear and they know when you’re wearing a nicer brand.

      • Thanks. I pulled the trigger on some tory burch, rachel roy and DVF dresses. Will update you all as to how they turn out.

  17. Shoe advice please– I am thinking of getting a particular formal dress– black, floor-length, with a swath of red at the neckline. ( http://www.igigi.com/plus-size-new-arrivals/kristina-gown.html )

    What color shoes would I be able to wear with it? Am I stuck with black? Would I have to match the red if I wore red shoes? Does a certain type of shoe look better with floor length (sandals instead of pumps, etc). This is for a formal holiday party, not work related.

    • Black would certainly work. Silver, gold, or green seem like they could coordinate nicely too depending on your jewelry if any. I personally wouldn’t wear a different shade of red though (coordinating red would be nice). I’ll let others chime in on sandals vs. pumps. I think both could work – slight preference for sandals or something strappy, but that’s not a strong opinion.

    • Anonymous K :

      I think black or the same shade of red would look good. Depending on your style/the type of event, you could do something sequined/sparkly, too! I know it’s not great for conservative gatherings, but I like to wear something with a little sparkle for holiday parties. (I’m also in my 20’s, so YMMV.)

      I would also lean toward sandals of some sort, but wouldn’t find it odd if you went with pumps.

    • What a pretty dress! I wish I were going to a fancy party that called for a long gown. I definitely think sandals, something strappy, or peep-toe (as opposed to pumps). I think metallic or sparkly would be really nice, and they don’t have to be black. Red in a shade close to the trim ( i don’t think it needs to match exactly) would be great; I also like gold or silver but as mille below says, take your jewelry into consideration.

    • Strappy would be my preference with a floor-length dress.

      A red shoe might be too matchy-matchy for my taste, although I’m sure I could be proven wrong given the right shoe! I’m having a hard time picturing it, but would a strappy dark burgandy work? Or would it contrast with the bright red?

      As for other more neutral colors, you could do pewter or dark copper… Silver might work, but then again that may be too bright for the dark shades of the dress…

    • Cute dress! I’d probably do metallic or black shoes. Definitely would not do green, maybe would do red but probably would feel too costumey for me.

    • I’d suggest silver or gold, but wear one more accessory in that color so the pairing doesn’t look completely random e.g. have a silver clutch or pretty drop earrings.
      You could also do black or the same shade of red, but my fashion sense is pretty conservative so I wouldn’t throw another bright color (e.g. green or blue) into the mix.
      I have a slight preference for something strappy as well, but would go with whatever suits the season/weather where you live.

    • I would compltetely advise against the matchy/matchy red shoe with red trim idea. That sounds horrible and completely not fashion forward.

      Any metalllic. A green or blue would work is a cute sparkly sandle. Black would work.

      What would not work: brown, white, and red. Those are the only no-no’s in my book.

      • the more I think about it, the more I agree with posters who nix the red shoes. I don’t think it would look bad but I do think it would look dated. One of my most fashionable friends loaned me an outfit when we made a spur-of-the moment decision to go out to a swanky bar instead of getting takeout and watching movies at her place as we had originally planned. I wore a black dress, black tights, red necklace, and blue shoes that she loaned me and carried a yellow purse. I was skeptical but she insisted it would work (“Marc Jacobs colors!” she kept saying) and I have to admit it looked pretty good. So now I think you should wear blue strappy or peeptoe shoes and if you are really bold, maybe a soft yellow shawl. I would wear simple white pearl or white beaded jewelry and maybe just leave it at earrings. But I would keep the jewelry matte /not shiny or sparkly.

        Now I am really tempted to go hunting for shoes and accessories for you to see if I can find items that make my vision come true! But I *really* should get back to my homework.

    • Definitely open-toed, whether they’re pumps or sandals. I’d go with something more embellished, whether sequins, crystals, or beads and wear 1 cuff bracelet with similar styling. I’d go with gold, black, silver or red.

    • If you go with red, it has to match. Black or an obviously contrasting color, if done right, could look great.

    • Thanks for all the advice on shoes! I am going to take the dress with me to the mall and try on shoes with the dress so I can see what they look like. I always shop online but this time I need to see everything in person.

    • Great dress! I’m sure you’ll look great, regardless of which shoes you decide. :)

  18. AnonforThis! :


    I just graduated from college last spring, and landed an objectively awesome position as a strategy analyst in a major multinational company. The thing is, I’m wondering now if I’m even cut out for the corporate world.

    I feel stifled spending from 9-5 sitting at my desk in my cube. I often feel like a lot of the work I do (and not just myself, but my team entirely) doesn’t add a lot of value to the world, although I suppose it adds some value to the corporation once it filters through the bureacracy. And I also feel rather mercenary and uncomfortable when I think about how my job is mostly to think of ways to make money selling things that aren’t necessarily the best or even needed.

    I have all these complaints, but I wonder if they are valid discontents or whether it’s just that I’m having trouble transitioning from the freedom of college to the “real world.”

    My plan was to apply to business school this time next year, since I do enjoy thinking and learning about business trends and strategy on a broad scale, and then attempting to transition into the public sector. I studied public policy and IR in school, and the internships I had at NGOs, though occassionally boring, didn’t make me feel like this.

    Did any of you successful corporettes ever feel this way? Advice?

    (Also, is applying to Bschool with one year of experience and the expectation of 2 years of experience before starting too ambitious?)

    • I still feel this way. You either learn to live with the “i’m not changing the world but live comfortably and have money to spend on things to change the world” or you go do what you desire, and have no money and probably still wonder if youre changing the world.

    • Hmm… I understand that you are discontented, but what can you do about it?
      a. Stop working? (If you are in a financial situation where this is a possibility, fine. For most people the answer would be no.)
      b. Find another position where you think you are making a difference in the world.
      c. Stay in this position figuring that while the work is less than satisfying, it allows you the freedom to do other things you enjoy (pays for that dance class, your vacations or nice lifestyle).

      Only you know how much it matters to you to make a difference to the world. Would you be willing to have a more satisfying job e.g. working for a charity, and sacrifice some of the money you’re earning now? Some people decide that they do.
      Others make peace with their day jobs and do other meaningful work in their free time.
      If this feeling persists, you may want to introspect to see which category you fall into. If you decide on the latter, then embrace your choice and find ways to make the day more interesting and satisfying.

      Your frustration could also arise from the change in lifestyle. It IS difficult to sit still for 8-10 hours a day when you’re used to the student life. If this is the source, you can liven it up by making the most of your lunch break – taking walks or simply trying new restaurants, lunching with different sets of colleagues to break up the monotony. In my first job I often took short 4pm coffee break walks with a couple of colleagues from another department – my colleagues were a jovial bunch and these really made my day.

      • Ah, I see that P has said what I wanted to, only more concisely. :)

      • I agree – when I first started working after law school, the days seemed dreadfully long and I felt trapped by the corporate environment. Lunch breaks with friends, drinks after work, and the occassional mid-day run along the river on a nice day all helped me adjust to working full time.

    • While I don’t think others are wrong, I do think there is a middle ground between dirt poor but feeding starving children and rich but soulless. I feel reasonably good about my reasonably well-paying job, for instance. It might take some experimenting, and you’ll probably never find a 100% perfect fit, but you don’t have to take a vow of poverty to find work that feels meaningful and satisfying to you either.

    • I work in the public sector and believe me, we feds are not immune from feeling exactly the same way!

      One thing that has helped me is knowing that if I work 8 hours a day and sleep 8 hours a night, that leaves me 8 more hours I can do anything I want with (plus weekends!). Luckily, I have a job where I am not expected to be available in my off-hours– one of the advantages of working for the government. I use some of that free time to volunteer with an organization for foreign exchange students and with a Girl Scout troop in my neighborhood. Although volunteering takes time, I find it gives me a more positive outlook, which helps me stay motivated at work.

    • In re b-school experience, it really depends on where you want to go to school. In fact, Harvard and Stanford have been trending downward in age recently. Other schools are trending upward. However, just getting in isn’t really the goal. It’s the halfway mark. Remember that you will be competing for jobs with your classmates. These classmates may have 8-10 years of experience. If you were a hiring manager, who would you objectively pick–the girl who led one big project in her two years of working and talked about being a club president in college, or someone that could point to years of career advancement, multiple projects put to bed successfully, etc. If you just want to do ibanking or strategy consulting, they could really care less about how old you are. But for nearly any other post-MBA job, they care.

      Also, aside, but I don’t know too many post-MBA jobs that aren’t corporate-type desk jobs. Even if you were to move toward nonprofits post-MBA, you’d still be a manager, behind a desk. Just bear that in mind before you throw down $130,000 for your MBA.

      • I absolutely agree with anon’s point about being sure that an MBA will help you move towards the kind of job you think you want. I have friends who are in the non-profit world post-MBA but who are locked into a certain role with a certain kind of organization just so they can afford their student loan payments. Far better in my opinion to try to get into the field you want before applying to and attending B-school. It sounds to me like you might need to “flounder” for a bit while you’re still in your early 20s to help figure out what actually makes you happy.

    • Are you me?

      I just graduated and am having the same adjustment issues. I’m realizing what a privilege it was in college/grad school to enjoy most of my work, and the flexible scheduling that came along with student life. I also studied public policy, and I’m finding that my stop-gap corporate job is very unsatisfying. I’m in the unhappy situation of being paid the small amount I would earn at a non-profit, but minus any intellectual stimulation or other fulfillment from the work that might offset the low pay in a field I cared about.

      I’m not “successful” yet, so can’t offer much advice, but in my book, your frustrations are very valid, and definitely shared. Keep your chin up, and best of luck.

    • I came out of college and had the same issues as you. When I was considering b-school, there was the 2-year requirement as well as a lot of prereqs, and by the time I’d completed the prereqs I had decided b-school wasn’t the option for me. My sister has a MS in public policy management where she did the 3+2 program. Without the experience her classmates had, she really struggled to find anything public policy related.

      I work for a state government now and the state will provide tuition reimbursement for MPA/MPH and other public policy-related degrees. I think many people in my office got their foot in the door and then used the tuition reimbursement program to be able to advance.

  19. Just bought these and think that they would work nicely. Ridiculously comfortable and very versatile, too. http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/3039115?origin=category&resultback=800

  20. Threadjack: My mother recently unearthed a gorgeous DVF wrap dress from the 70’s that she had stashed away in her closet for me. The fabric is cotton in a graphic black and white print. The first time I wore it, I noticed that the black started to “bleed” into the white around the armpits and anywhere else in close contact with my skin (even though I hadn’t been noticeably sweating). I dampened a small test area and the same thing happened. The dry cleaner took a look and said there was no way to reverse the dye transfer.

    It’s such a flattering dress that I’m desperate to salvage it. Any suggestions? I’m considering dying the whole thing a charcoal gray (hoping the formerly white areas would turn a uniform shade of gray and that the black areas would remain sufficiently black to make the pattern discernable). Alternatively, I could dye it black but I’m worried the pattern would show through and it would look strange. Has anyone tried something like this?

    • I’ve done this with a white w/gray dress. Dyed it black & the gray bits of pattern were darker but still visible & nice.

      Just don’t throw the dyed item in the wash with other clothes! Good luck!

      • What if you dyed it purple? That way the black would stay black and you’d have a nice pop of color . . . but I wonder if the black would continue to leach into the newly purple area.

      • I like the other poster’s idea about dying it purple. I don’t know how you prevent further bleeding but there must be a way to set the dye. I guess that’s what you need to research. Good luck! I’d love to hear how it turns out.

  21. Is it 100% cotton or a blend? You will have far more luck with dying it if it is 100% cotton. If you dye it, dark grey or another darkish color (maybe a darkish green or purple) rather than black, because as you say, if you do black, the black pattern may still be visible. If you do grey, you may have to be careful not to leave it in the dye too long because you might end up with something pretty close to black if you do.

  22. How do people dress up in the winter for parties or dates if you (a) want to wear a skirt/dress, not pants, but (b) hate hate hate wearing tights? Should I try thigh-highs? (I always worry about those coming down) Or just suffer with cold bare legs, and get a longer coat? Or invest in some good knee-high boots?
    Are there any tights out there that are actually comfortable? Everything that I’ve tried lately is “control top” and hurts my waist because it cuts into my stomach (and no, can’t go up a size, then it’s too big in the legs). I also don’t like the way tights look by themselves when you take off the dress/skirt. Any help?

    • You need to get over the tights thing or wear pants.

      And I’m tall and skinny and buy large tights just so they are longer. They’re never too large in the legs as they’re 90% spandex or whatever.

      When I see a girl in the winter with bare legs and a skirt I think she looks trashy, as if she’s trying to show skin. And usually the skin is all goosebumped and pale and/or ashy so it looks horrible anyways.

      As for the not liking the way tights look when you take off the skirt, that’s when you are not in the freakin winter wind you can take them off in the bathroom and put them in your purse if you want to look sexy in the bedroom.

      • There are lots of tights that are not control top. Some are even “low rise.” Try Hue at Macy’s, or J.Crew.

        If you live in a cold climate, then the other person in the bedroom has already seen other women in tights after they’ve taken off their dresses before he saw you take off your dress to reveal unsightly tights. And he’s a jerk if he gives you crap for it.

        If you still insist on wearing on tights under your skirt or dress, you could go old-school and get stockings and a garter belt, which are marketed as being very sexy. Thigh highs do slip down, often leave red marks from the plastic strips that cling to your legs, but the act of pulling them up seems to appeal to some portions of the target demographic.

        Of course, your ladybits may be frozen solid from being only covered by sexy panties and not unsexy tights, so that may be counterproductive to bedroom things anyway.

    • if i know that someone will be seeing me partially undressed and it’s cold, then i’ll wear a garter with stockings. it’s a fun workaround for all involved :)

      i recently wore knee-high boots with warm, cable knit boot socks underneath, to keep my legs warm with a miniskirt. it worked well, though it wasn’t as warm as tights. i also wore knee high/thigh high socks with flats the other day. that was ok, but not as warm as the boots.

      i’ve found tights from H&M to be pretty comfortable (the very thick denier tights). they even have a lower-cut option, but it’s still not as flattering as a garter belt or a little bustier with garter straps.

      as for things falling down…well, it depends on how risque you want to be. i’ve adjusted my stockings when wearing a garter and, although he certainly noticed, my date most definitely didn’t mind (don’t judge- it wasn’t a first date thing, we’d been going out for a while, and i was hidden behind a tablecloth). but when i’ve worn thigh highs to church (long story) it was a little uncomfortable, knowing that they *could* (but wouldn’t) slip or something.

      as an aside- if there’s a lot of walking, i just say screw it all and wear tights. my thighs touch when i walk and it’s uncomfortable walking very far in thigh highs in the cold!

      • I think a thigh high boot and miniskirt is not very classy.

        • well, it’s a good thing it wasn’t a thigh high boot! reading comprehension FTW!

          also, thanks for your judgement. i’m glad you’re oh-so-capable of judging strangers on the internet.

    • Anonymous :

      There are lots of non-control top tights. Try Hue brand. You can get them at Macy’s or any similar department store, or online at hue.com.

      I agree with the poster who said bare legs in the winter looks trashy.

      • There are also many tights that do not do that whole bicycle short thing.
        I have definitely experienced uncomfortable tights & while they are not fun, there are MANY that are perfect lovely — anyone who says otherwise, simply hasn’t looked at their options.

      • Hue were actually the last comfortable and most control-top-py to me…but I just got the cheap ones at TJ Maxx, so maybe they were extra control top or something.

    • Wow, lots of strong opinions here about bare legs, short skirts, etc. The OP didn’t specifically say she wanted to show bare legs, just that she hated tights. Telling her to “get over it” seems less than helpful.

      I would encourage you to keep looking for non-control top pantyhose, perhaps asking for help at a nicer department store’s lingerie section. I hear Nordstrom’s has very well-trained sales folk. It may be a matter of finding just the right brand for you, one that doesn’t cut into your waist or feel uncomfortable.

      Good luck, and I hope whatever date you are planning for goes well!

    • In my experience, comfort in tights is all about the length. I’m 5’8 but all legs and I need tights that are long so I always go for size large and walk right by any marked M/L – they are never ever long enough. Try Hue. They come without control top and they seem longer than most.

      And by the way, any man fortunate enough to see you in just your tights will not be thinking about how they look. He will be thanking his lucky stars and worshiping the goddess that is you (and thinking about how he looks). :)

    • I stay away from pants/tights after a prolonged yeast infection – the Dr. advised that I needed more air circulation, and I was at the point where I was willing try anything that meant not having to use prescription anti fungals on a prolonged basis.

      I either wear knee length skirts w/ knee high boots; or wear stockings with a garter belt. I found the jezebel garter belt (available on amazon, macys) to be quite functional.
      In summer, I just skip the stockings & wear sandals with dresses/skirts (perfectly acceptable at my office)

      However, I live in an interior valley of SoCal, where the coldest it gets is low 40s. So this strategy may not be the best for warmth in the northern states.

  23. It looks a tad short for the office, no?

  24. Why is this called “warrior print”? It looks much more like a Celtic print to me.