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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 157 Comments · by

Tuesday’s TPS Report: Roxie Wool Pants

The Personal Shopper (TPS) |

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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Many thanks to this week's guest poster, Carolyn Hsu of The Daily Obsession and The Hsu Closet! Elie Tahari Roxie Wool PantsA pair of tailored wool pants in a neutral color is one professional staple season after season. The color goes with almost anything you already have in your closet. Pair with jewel tones and brights to rock this fall’s top trend or stick with a white button down or black turtleneck to exude classic chic. These pants are $268 at Neiman Marcus. Elie Tahari Roxie Wool Pants Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail editor@corporette.com with “TPS” in the subject line. (L-2)

Sales of note for 9.30.24

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

Comments

  1. Bunkster

    Just discovered that my car repairs will cost more than yesterday’s dress. This week is off to a good start.

    • Anon

      Hey, me too, which is why I’m still driving it around the way it is with my AAA card safely tucked into my wallet. Have to do something about it before the weather gets bad though.

    • Ses

      I’m filled with foreboding. My car has started to make a truly horrible noise from the wheel area, and it’s getting worse. I’m going to the mechanic today.

    • Bunkster

      Unfortunately, my repairs have to be made. I was driving on the highway Saturday night when my clutch stopped working. It was pretty scary and, of course, the car is not drive-able.

      • Sydney Bristow

        Yikes! That sucks. Hopefully it will be easily paid for with the awesome new job you should be getting any day now!

      • Bunkster

        I think it went well. It was a panel interview. Now I’m just waiting to hear…

  2. Bonnie

    I love the color of these pants but not the shape. They seem to be really fitted through the thighs then flare out from the knees down.

  3. EPLawyer

    Wow, the way the model is dressed it is like a bad 70’s flashback. Trust me, this is not a fashion era one wants to emulate. All the drugs made people dress really weird.

  4. Diana Barry

    I like these. I am actually wearing camel pants today – down to my last 2 ‘fat clothes’ suits that still fit! I just have to get through this week and next week and then I can bust out the maternity clothes and tell my boss.

    I also like the fur vest, even though it would make any normal-sized person look like a whale (or a bear, I guess).

  5. Anonymous

    I actually kind of like the vest, though I would have no occasion to wear it.

    Random question: My SO and I have been together for a long time and have lived together for nearly ten years. The primary reason we’ve never gotten married is because he’s got financial and tax issues (mainly, he is terrible with his money and owes lots of back taxes, and his idea of dealing with it is to stick his head in the sand). I’ve been with him long enough to know that he isn’t going to change. I’m no financial genius, but I have a good job as a senior associate in biglaw. I know that I am responsible for being the breadwinner.
    I’ve been holding off on marriage because of my fears that his financial, and more importantly, his tax situation could somehow impact me. Anyone know if this is true? Our finances are totally separate (basically, I pay for the apartment which is rented, we don’t have a car or other “joint” possessions, most of what we own is mine; he pays for his own meals). We don’t share checking accounts or anything like that. Any thoughts on the topic? FWIW, we don’t plan to have children.

    • Anon

      Yes, if you are married many of his financial choices will affect you. It doesn’t sound like this is in the past but an ongoing situation that he has not dealt with. It may also make you crazy if you were married, whereas right now perhaps you can distance yourself from it. I would tell my best friend not to get married in this situation.

    • Hmmm...

      I am a tax attorney. I know that you can use an antenupitual agreement to separate out tax debts. Still, I think the best solution would be to seek legal counsel and get the problem fixed.

      • E

        Agree. Talk to a tax lawyer and a financial planner before getting married. It’s good that you acknowledge that this is just one of his flaws and you’ll learn to live with it, but you still need to make sure it won’t be detrimental to your personal financial situation. Financial problems are a huge cause of stress in relationships.

    • anon

      I echo the advice to talk to an attorney, and add that

      – if you get married, his debts (tax-related and not – credit cards, etc) can very easily become your problem.
      – similarly, if you ever jointly apply for a mortgage, line of credit, loan, etc his shoddy credit history will also become your problem.
      – if you decide to stay UNmarried, just make sure you take care of things like health directives, power of attorney, insurance benefits, a will, etc.

    • Anon

      Is it just the finances or does he make poor choices in other areas of his life? It just makes me wonder why he doesn’t become more responsible especially if he knows his finances affect you! If he wants to marry you and have a life with you, he has a funny way of showing it. Just my take on the situation.

    • Anon in NC

      You can certainly fix the tax issue but be honest with yourself and with him as to the underlying issue(s). If his behavior, habits, view of money has not changed you will find yourself in the same situation again. Why do you pay for the apartment?

    • anonthisonce

      I am married and in this situation. Here is my advice:

      1. All tax returns must be filed as married, filing separately. You pay slightly more, but it’s how to get past his current and future tax issues.

      2. Never open a joint credit card. Never put him on one of your credit cards, or allow him to put you on his. Never.

      3. No joint checking or savings accounts. Not even a small, teeny tiny one to pay joint household expenses.

      4. No joint investments because they can be attached by his creditors or tax people.

      5. Don’t buy a car in joint names or car insurance in joint names.

      6. Don’t get manipulated into loaning him money for his business or to pay taxes, etc.

      7. When you get to the stage of buying a home/condo, you must title it in your name only, and your name alone must be on the mortgage. (I learned this when a tax lien I didn’t know he had took one-half the net proceeds from the sale of our first house, which we owned T/E. Now our home is in my name alone. If we ever got divorced, he would get one-half of the appreciated value even though he is not on title, so he is not prejudiced. And when we sell, all the proceeds will come to me, and not to pay the I.R.S.)

      8. He will never get better or change, so understand that this is how it will be and guard yourself accordingly.

      9. Set up at least one completely private savings or investment account about which he knows nothing. Your getaway money, if you need it.

      10. I betcha that other than this, he has some great qualities. Good luck to you!

      • Ann

        Can I just ask you and the OP, WHY ARE YOU WITH THESE LOSERS? I just can’t picture what kind of “good qualities” you mention in number 10 would make up for a man’s utter failure to live responsibly and get his financial sh*t together. Yes, people can fall on hard times and emergencies happen, but when it is a systemic failure to man up and deal with an existing problem to the point where it impacts whether you want to legally marry or how you design your entire financial life, I just don’t understand why you would want to be with him. If your close friends and family have never asked you this question, I am guessing that they did not know the whole picture.

    • InSF

      Yes, in the nicest way possible, I say: never marry someone with tax and financial issues. When and if the IRS takes or garnishees his funds, then you will be supporting him.
      You may not plan to have children, but the future is unknown. He may be a wonderful companion, but protect yourself and your finances.

      • Equity's Darling

        I know my dry cleaner has a little chart on the return slip limiting “replacement value”. And I can say with certainty that the shirts I’m dry cleaning are not the ones that cost $30. Not that I don’t have fabulous shirts that cost $30, but those are the ones I’m usually willing to risk hand-washing, or are t-shirts.

        My silk blouses cost at least 3-4 times that, sometimes more, and so the replacement value is totally insufficient. And, often, I love the blouse and bought it a little while ago, so it’s irreplaceable.

    • Yikes!

      This is one of my biggest fears… especially since I’m always picking up the suit I’m counting on wearing the night before/morning of my court appearance/depo/interview. Hopefully they just sent them home with the wrong person or something and it’ll turn up?

    • Anon at 10:13 AM

      The dry cleaner claims to have found my suits but depending on who you talk to they will either (1) be dropped off at my office tomorrow or (2) available for pick up tomorrow evening. The suits were apparently delivered to the office of a customer with the same name as me. I’m looking for a new dry cleaner.

    • Lilly

      Some years ago, after having the only [otherwise] competent cleaners in my small town lose one too many of my items, I started writing my name on my labels in indelible ink. Just like a kid off to camp. After that, there were a few times where it took an extraordinarily long time for my clothing item to come back to me after being cleaned, and I tended to believe that it had been misdirected, some honest soul had taken it back, and the label enabled the cleaners to identify the rightful owner.

  7. Genny

    Last week there was a thread about THE SKIRT and petite v. regular sizing and length. Thanks to some good advice from other Corporettes, I purchased the teal color in the petite size (it was sold out in the regular size). I’m wearing it today and am very happy with it!! My one piece of advice (now owning the skirt in both petite and regular) would be to order your usual size in the petite, but order one size smaller in the regular (there isn’t much of a difference in length between the two).

  9. LawyrChk

    I recently switched to working out in the mornings (evenings in biglaw are just too unpredictable) but find that I’m feeling exhausted by 10 AM every morning. I’ve been getting 8 hours of sleep and (I think) eating the same amount every day.

    Any advice on how to make it through the day? I’m hoping this will be a short-term adjustment period rather than long-term.

          • Anonymous Poser

            Greek yogurt is great! Much more protein than regular yogurt, and I love the taste.

        • Anon

          Try this for a week and see if you have more energy:

          Immediately after you finish workout, have a protein shake (mix one scoop of your choice of protein powder with water in a shaker bottle – can buy at any health store – comes with little metal whisk-ball inside to help ensure that the protein powder mixes completely). Important for two reasons – helps with muscle growth/repair, and provides immediate caloric replenishment so you keep your fat-burning high.

          About 60-90 minutes later, have breakfast. If you want to stick to the cereal route, I’d swap out your shredded wheat for something with a higher protein content (Kashi Go Lean if you have no objection to soy – I do, so I don’t eat it, but it has good stats if you can tolerate soy), milk (or yogurt) and banana. If you want something savory, Diana Barry made a good egg suggestion below.

          • BB

            Easier than a protein shake: a lunchbox-size box of chocolate milk. If you get the Horizon brand, it doesn’t need to be refrigerated, so you can throw one in your gym bag to have immediately.

          • Anon

            A protein shake is pretty darn easy. One scoop protein powder, add water to shaker, shake, drink. I literally finish training, walk over to my gym bag, mix one up, and I’m done in 45 seconds. Chocolate milk is full of sugar and doesn’t have nearly enough protein to be optimal for post-workout.

        • MissJackson

          Agree with the others that you need to add protein (greek yogurt is a great, portable option). I would also recommend splitting your breakfast up into two parts. One right after the workout, and one at the 10am slump — this helps me immensely.

          • LadyEnginerd

            Ditto to the protein. My favorite portable option is the humble hard-boiled egg. Kudos to Diana Barry for that delicious-sounding egg treat, but I know I’m incapable of even microwave cooking post-workout :)

            Also, nuts, and those you can snack on as you leave the gym. I go to whole paycheck or trader joe’s for the healthier unsalted or lightly salted versions. I like the dry roasted, unsalted almonds, and they are *crunch* delicious and *crunch* reasonably healthy (it’s mid-morning snack-and-procrastinate time for me!).

    • Diana Barry

      Coffee, and a breakfast including plenty of protein. I used to eat a bunch of egg whites and a whole egg (I would bring to work and microwave there) with some cheese mixed in, plus a WW tortilla and some fruit, and coffee. I would also have a sleepiness slump at 945 or so, but it does wear off. Try taking a walk around the block at that time – the fresh air really helps.

      I think adjusting to your routine (after a month?) will also help. Good luck! Kudos on making the morning workout part of the routine! :)

    • SF Bay Associate

      I switched to mornings for exactly that reason too: biglaw evenings are totally unpredictable. Now I get up at 5:30am every day, work out from 6-7am, and then go to work. Bed by 11pm, max. The first three weeks of this routine were REALLY hard. Deeply, deeply unpleasant. Week four was tolerable. I’m several months in and now I naturally wake up at 5:30am even on weekends (but go back to sleep), and I cannot remember ever having so much energy. Hang in there, your body will get used to it. Hold on for one more day ;).

      In the meantime, stay conscious by drinking lots of water. Ice water. Hot water. Lemon water. Cucumber water, whatever. Or constantly eat… grapes, carrots, blueberries, bits of Luna bars, gum, whatever. The only thing that kept me conscious those first awful weeks was constantly putting food or drink in my mouth. This isn’t helpful for one’s ultimate gym goal (be fitter and healthier), but it gets you through the bad first few weeks. Also, right after the gym, protein and fiber. I am loving Kashi GoLean, despite its stupid name. Or yogurt and whole wheat toast. You must eat immediately.

      Just keep at it!

      • anon

        Agree with this. I also switched to a morning exercise routine that required shifting my sleep schedule by a couple hours. Felt like I’d just flown in from Australia for a few weeks, but I got used to it.

  10. Batgirl

    This is a sort of follow up to my question about gaining weight on the pill.

    So last night, I tried on ALL of my dress pants and jeans. Though I’ve gained only 3-5 lbs, on my 5’3″ frame (and with my tendency to gain all my weight in my belly), less than half of my pants still fit me.

    Here’s are my questions: (1) if I go off the pill, how long will it take for my body to get back to its normal hormonal balance and stop hoarding fat like I’m a hibernating bear? (2) Is bloating part of this pill experience because this seems like it may be a combo of bloating and added weight? (3) Is there any hope of losing this bloat/weight if I stay on the pill or are my hormones working against me?

    Wah. Thanks. (Also, I realize that a 3-5 lb gain sounds obnoxious but I really don’t want to buy all new pants.)

    • L

      It is probably mostly water weight (esp with that amount!), so 3 weeks or 1 cycle? Would you consider an IUD? I can’t take hormones and the IUD worked well for me.

      Sorry about the weight gain!

      • Anon for this

        Mind if I ask how bad the IUD insertion is? I’m considering one but terrified. Heard horror stories on the insertion and side effects.

        • also anon for this

          Its… not pleasant. Imagine your worst cramps and multiply. Definitely plan on taking the rest of the day for yourself, and maybe the following day, plenty of heat pads and finding the most comfortable position possible. The first few months of cycles aren’t great either, because your body is still getting used to it. I’m on my second one (first one moved, WTF, and after 5 years of perfection) and this one is hitting me much harder. Might have been the fluctuating weather too.

          This was for Paraguard though; I’ve heard it’s more tolerable with the Mirena.

          • also anon

            I have had the Mirena IUD for two and a half years. The insertion was not fun, but it only took about 10 minutes for the whole procedure. For me 15 unpleasant minutes was worth 5 years of super-effective hassle-free birth control. I had only minor cramping after it was put in, but I think the amount of cramping varies a lot from person to person.

          • So Anon

            I also have Mirena. Very quick, but uncomfortable insertion followed by some mild cramping for the next day. I was able to go on with my day without any trouble. So worth it for what my doctor calls “the Mercedes of birth control.”

            Bonus points for actually being way cheaper than the pill (at least on my insurance).

        • BB

          I don’t do well on the Pill–moodiness and weight gain.

          I had a Mirena IUD. Insertion wasn’t that bad–it was uncomfortable but quick. My doctor gave me an Rx for one Xanax and told me to take it with an Aleve 30 minutes before the procedure. I scheduled an afternoon appointment, had my boyfriend (at the time) drive me home, and was back at work the next morning. I had minimal cramping the first week (my doctor likes to insert them during your period).

          I spotted for the first month or two–that was annoying, but not that bad. My periods got really light while I had it.

          I loved it–no noticeable side effects. I had it removed because five years were up and my husband and I are OK with the possibility of getting pregnant (but not actively trying yet). Once I have finished having children, I will definitely get another one inserted (which I’ve heard is easier after childbirth).

          • Batgirl

            Have you ever had a colposcopy? I’m curious as to how it compares to that in terms of discomfort?

            Did you ever have depression issues or the like from the IUD (I consider that slightly different than moodiness, which is why I ask)?

            Maybe I’ll look into this option down the road–thanks!

          • zora

            my mirena insertion was not pleasant, but not as bad as my first colposcopy.. i was actually surprised at how quick the iud was.

            and i had some cramping on and off for the first couple of months, but it is soooooo worth it compared to the pill. after a year and a half, i really never think about it, until my dr’s appt when she checks the string, and im like ‘oh yeah!’ ;o)

        • CB

          I’ve had 3 IUDs. All I had was some minor cramping that lasted maybe a couple of hours, and once or twice some very minor spotting. However, I’m also a mom, and didn’t have an IUD before being pg, so that probably makes a difference. I seriously, seriously LOVED my IUDs, and would still have one if dh hadn’t had the big V a couple of years ago. I didn’t find my flow heavier or cramping worse at all with the IUD, and I had a plain copper one, not the Mirena.

        • mamabear

          bleah! I have something called the vaso-vagal reaction – when my cervix is touched it makes me feel like I’m going to throw up. Just reading this post made me want to run for the ladies room!

        • Anon, too

          Totally agree with what has been said. For me, it was the worst pain I have ever experienced, but my the time my brain kicked in to even know it, it subsided to “bad cramps” and even they were gone in an hour or so. Then, 8 years of never thinking about it again. On balance, it’s the best decision I have ever made with respect to my health.

        • Missy

          I have had a series of IUDs of various kinds since 1984. The insertion is no big deal. FWIW I am a terrible baby about medical procedures. I will cry before the doctor even walks into the room, but it is just stress because I know I want the procedure and it is safe and I have done my research. I am just a baby. Before the insertion, your doctor should prescribe some antibiotics to prevent infection and some muscle relaxants to make everything go smothly. After the insertion, you may have cramps for a while. Mine have never been anything more than regular-ish menstrual cramps.

          The removal is what I find painful. Again with the antibiotics and muscle relaxants. Usually your doctor will count to three and tell you when to cough so that you are contracting your muscles at the same time she is pulling the string. This feels more like really serious menstrual cramps to me.

          I have only fabulous and wonderful things to say abot IUDs. I have used them for 27 years with no pregnancies and no side effects. I started with the Copper 7 (now off the market thanks to litigation), and then moved to the Copper T. To be honest, I’m not sure what I have right now. The lifespan as per the FDA is now ten years (used to be five), so you really go through this very infrequently.

    • Corporate Tool

      You might want to talk to your dr about switching to a different hormone mix instead. I went from low-hormone to high and I stopped having problems with bloating/weight gain. Some people find the opposite.

      I found that a month after changing my BC, the problem ceased. But take that with a grain of salt, since there was a recent study that says no one actually gains weight due to BC.

      • Research, Not Law

        This. I did better on the higher-dose pill. Puked every day of a new pack on the low dose. Baffled my doc, but whatever works for you.

        I’m intrigued by the IUD suggestions, because I asked for one years ago (pre-kids) and was told it was only suggested for women who had carried 1+ babies to term. Maybe it was just a pro-BCP doc.

        Honestly, I got so fed up with the idea of altering my physiology that I quit hormones all together. Switched to condoms and never been happier. They aren’t as effective, though, even when used properly. May be comparable to a non-hormone IUD, though?

        Took maybe two months for my weight to go down? It’s been years, so I can’t remember. But it wasn’t long. PS – I’m 5’1”, so I understand the frustration over 5 lbs!

        • Research, Not Law

          I should add that I was on BCP for about six years before quitting. My weight never “adjusted” to the pills. I always had a few extra pounds I couldn’t loose until I stopped taking the pills.

          • Research, Not Law

            And I exercised profusely during much of that time period. I could NOT loose the weight.

    • SF Bay Associate

      I went back to normal after about two months, but I was on one for 10+ years. I haven’t noticed similar side effects with the Ring, which initially squicked me out but now I love. It takes about 3 months for your body to get used to a pill, whatever pill, so you need to give it a chance. Many of the strong initial side effects will subside, and in my experience, they ALL have side effects, so you need to pick your poison, so to speak. That said, if you really hate it, you can ask your doctor to switch you, but recognize that your body will need time to get used to the new pill, too. Hormonal birth control is an absolute godsend, but not without its costs, both physical and financial. You may end up deciding that the side effects on this pill are small enough that it’s worth it, and just get new pants.

    • Anon

      I’m not trying to be snarky, but maybe the 3-5lb weight gain caused by the pill be counteracted by a slight uptick in physical activity/tiny decrease in food consumption, thereby avoiding the “buy all new pants” issue? Obviously not talking crash diets or hours and hours of daily cardio here – but maybe one extra gym session and 2 fewer lattes/cocktails/cookies a week would accomplish the same as going off the pill (if you otherwise like this pill and want to stay on it but for the annoying weight gain)?

      • Anon

        Trying again – I think the word “c**ktail” got me stuck in moderation.

        I’m not trying to be snarky, but maybe the 3-5lb weight gain caused by the pill be counteracted by a slight uptick in physical activity/tiny decrease in food consumption, thereby avoiding the “buy all new pants” issue? Obviously not talking crash diets or hours and hours of daily cardio here – but maybe one extra gym session and 2 fewer lattes/c**ktails/cookies a week would accomplish the same as going off the pill (if you otherwise like this pill and want to stay on it but for the annoying weight gain)?

        • Batgirl

          Not taken as snarky–I’m trying that, too. But I’ve never been great at losing weight when I try to (just when I’m upset, sadly enough!) and I had already been wanting to lose a few pounds so it’s frustrating to have something working against me. I just wondered if the hormones would fight me more and more (as in, working out more is futile).

    • MelD

      I agree with SF Bay- you need to give it about 6-8 weeks before most of the side effects will subside. That said, if there are some side effects you just can’t live with, talk to your doctor about picking a new BC method. You may want to try cutting down a bit on your sodium intake as well to see if that can stop some of the water retention.

    • Batgirl

      Thanks this is all great advice. To be frank, I’m single now and don’t really need to be on the pill for contraceptive reasons (I am religious about using condoms and don’t tend to have sex outside of relationships anyway). I went on it for cramps but have repeatedly had bad experiences.

      I think the pill is great for some/most but I’m just not sure I want to take a hormone everyday. Especially if I’m going to bloat up while doing so.

      The decreased salt bit is a great idea! And I have heard for years that the pill doesn’t cause weight gain, but I’ve tried it several times over the years and always gain 5 lbs or so–so I kind of think that it’s legit.

      Oh, and I’m on my fourth month of this pill now–may try another one.

      Thanks all!

      • Lobbyist

        One other possiblity is to do the perma -pill. I have cysts and so take the pill every day. I don’t get my period. In addition to inhibiting the growth of my cysts, it helped me LOSE weight because I stopped getting those crazy hunger/cravings just before my period came, or while on my period HAVING to eat six chocolate cookies. I realize this is totally in contradiction to your “I dont want hormones in my body” but, interestingly, having them has helped me regulate much better. Plus I don’t get peroids, which is nice.

    • Lyssa

      I agree with the others saying try a new pill if it keeps going. I wound up trying at least five different pills, and two injectables, before I found one that I’m really happy with (Miracette- not sure of the spelling, because I get the generic version; it’s one of the mini pills. I’ve been on it now for, well, a long time. 7 years or so, I think.)

    • eaopm3

      Not sure if you will see this semi-late reply: I had the Mirena inserted and it was incredibly painful – I threw up in the doctor’s office, bled more than my doctor expected and couldn’t leave for almost an hour, despite having a ride. I was in constant pain for about three months and had to have it taken out. My doctor told me that it was because I had never had a pregnancy so my body was simply refusing to accommodate the foreign object. I know many ladies who love an IUD, but they’ve all had children. Just my experience, YMMV. I have been through many different kinds of birth control because I am so affected by the hormones. I have found DepoProvera and the NuvaRing to be the front-runners. Good luck!

      • Anonymous

        Never had kids and insertion was extremely un-fun and the pain lasted a day. You need to be able to just lay in bed with a heating pad and do nothing.

        That said it is AMAZING. You don’t have to remember to do anything and it’s nearly impossible to get pregnant. It is the most effective form of reservable birth control that exists. I have the non-hormanal kind which I love after spending almost 10 years on the pill. Also, my insurance only made me pay $50 for a doctors visit and I was spending that almost every two months on the pill.

        I really wish someone had told me earlier about this effective and convenient method of birth control.

  11. A Regular Lurker

    My (very stylish, female) boss told me I looked tired. I actually am tired, and having looked at myself in the bathroom mirror, I kind of agree with her – who knew the price for skipping my usual eyeliner? Any suggestions? (We’ll leave aside the more troubling question of why I would be tired when I am regularly getting 6-7 hours of sleep, but I did work all weekend).

    • Corporate Tool

      I need at least 8 hours of sleep a night, so 6-7 makes me look tired too. Pinch your cheeks, or put on some undereye concealer. Maybe both.

      I also drink warm drinks throughout the day (with or without caffeine), it makes me look slightly less like death.

      • LawyrChk

        Agree. YMMV, but 6 hours isn’t enough for me. Also consider whether you are sleeping well (even if you getting enough hours, maybe not enough REM).

    • Ru

      Keep emergency eyeliner in your office/purse. People have told me that I look sick when I accidentally skip eyeliner.

      As for what you can do now, drink ridiculous amounts of water, whether you caffeinate or not. It’ll wake you up and force you to use the bathroom, which are good things. When you see people, smile, a real BIG smile. It’ll confuse them and distract them from noticing that you look tired.

    • Batgirl

      Six to seven hours really isn’t enough. I have realized that getting 8 hours (which is a struggle to work in, I’ll admit) makes a huge difference in how I feel and my mood. It’s helped with my skin, circles under my eyes, and just generally feeling good when I wake up.

      One way to ensure you’re getting good, quality sleep is to make your room as dark as possible (I threw a shirt over my bright alarm clock last night) and avoid alcohol (it makes your sleep quality very poor). I also avoid caffeine after 2pm.

      Good luck! (I hate it when people tell me I look tired. )

    • Anne-on

      If you’re not wearing it, using blush or some lipgloss help me look more awake. I don’t tend to get under-eye circles so much as my skin looks grey or very pale when I’m exhausted.

    • A Regular Lurker

      Thanks for all the helpful advice! And Ru, LOL at your suggestion to smile at people because it confuses them. :)

    • L

      This is somewhat related, but can I get some eyeliner recommendations? I was also asked by a couple of partners yesterday if I was OK, and to let them know if I am drowning. Although I appreciate the thoughtfulness, I think the issue was just that I had skipped my eyeliner!

      I swore by Tarte EmphasEYES, but the last few times I have purchased it, I have not had good results.

      • K

        I use Tarte EmphasEYES for my inner rims, but I use a cheap ULTA brand eyeliner for everything else. It smudges perfectly and stays on throughout the day, and normally you can buy 2 for $8, so it’s a bargain!

      • mamabear

        For drugstore quickies, I think the Revlon Colorstay liner pencils are the best. Day to day I use Trish McEvoy powder with a wet brush.

        • Ru

          I was going to recommend Revlon Colorstay as well. I like it better than department store contemporaries.

      • E

        Maybelline Define-a-Line. I adore it and will never use anything else. My usual color is plum.

      • lyla

        I use liquid eyeliner – Revlon. I can’t do the inner part of the eye, and pencil doesn’t work for me either. Stupid allergies to everything airborne on the planet.

    • EM

      This reminds me of the day of my sister’s wedding. I was going to plaster my face with more makeup than I usually wear that evening, so I just didn’t feel like wearing makeup in the morning and then putting more on later. We met some other family members for breakfast, and my uncle asks, “Did you get enough rest?” And I said, “yes”. His response was, “Well, you don’t look it”. ROFL. I didn’t mention that the reason I looked tired was probably my lack of makeup. :)

    • K

      Tarte makes an off-white eyeliner that you can use to line the inner rim of your lower eyelid – it is a lifesafer! It’s pricey (around $20), but it’s SO worth it. It makes me look well rested, even when I’m the farthest thing from it.

      Also, Clinique’s All About Eyes cream is another godsend. I apply it in the mornings before I put my makeup on after a rough night’s sleep.

    • mamabear

      Does your office have tea bags? Soak a couple of tea bags in cold water, squeeze out excess water and then place them under your eyes for a couple of minutes, like a compress. Black or green tea should work. They de-puffify (?) those little bags of tiredness under the eyes.

  12. Honeycrisp

    This is a follow-up to the “Modernizing Your Work Wardrobe” guest post from Becki Singer last week. Today I took the author’s advice and tried “banishing the black.” I paired a muted fuschia top with a navy pinstripe skirt and it actually looks pretty great! Perhaps this sounds basic to some, and I know that the author also said to banish the grey and the navy, but this is a big deal for me, and I never would have thought to pair these two pieces together before. Perhaps I’ll feel more adventurous by the end of the week, and try the suggestion of “cobalt with chocolate.” Thank you, Becki!

    • MsZ

      I’ve been enjoying trying this, too! Two of my black skirts bit the dust and I have decided to try to go without replacing them – so I’ve been wearing my gray, navy, and brown skirts with different colored tops and feel much more vibrant.

    • mamabear

      I love honeycrisp’s post & cheer her move toward color (something I admit I will probably never do) but I have to say my favorite apples are Pink Ladies. Which is also on-point.

  13. earth

    Hi
    The pill can cause some weight gain but it can be controlled with regular exercise,its the hormones fluctuations.Try a new pill or some other method.Its what suits your lifestyle or body,there are so many options now a days.Good luck.But be sure to read the adverse effects or contraindications ,am sure your doc can give you a leaflet about all this information.
    Earth

  14. Tattooed Lady

    For tattooed readers: If you have tattoos and use your office’s fitness facilities, do you wear clothing that completely covers your tattoos? If so, would you hide your tattoos even if they are on your arms or legs and covering them completely would be very uncomfortable?

    • Holly

      Depends on office culture. When I’m off-duty, I’m off-duty, period, and I don’t worry about having work people see what I look like in real life. But if it’s not about dressing appropriately at work and more about people freaking out if they just know you have a tattoo, I’d cover and start looking for a new job. :)

    • anon for this

      I have a small tattoo on my hip that isn’t visible when I’m wearing clothes so I’ve never had to worry about this. What exactly are your tattoos of? If they aren’t offensive or vulgar, I would wear what makes you comfortable. My $.02 is that if you decide to wear a tank top and show off the tats on your arms, wear yoga pants instead of shorts that showcase the tats on your legs.

      • Tattooed Lady

        My tattoos are religious, if that makes a difference. I’m not concerned about people thinking less of me for having tattoos, but I’m not really interested in having a discussion with coworkers about them. If being hot weren’t a problem, I’d cover them up. Just curious how others handle this situation.

        • Anon

          Is your issue that you are worried about coworkers seeing them, or you are worried that they’ll spark conversations you don’t want to have?

          If (b), cover them up, because you can’t control what people will ask you and you can’t very well tell people that it is none of their business if they do.

        • E

          I have a couple tattoos, and it’s inevitable that I get dragged into conversations about them by untattooed people. If this really drives you nuts, cover up with a moisture-wicking fabric (I love UnderArmour). Personally I don’t cover mine, and I rarely if ever get sucked into conversations about them at the gym.

          Honestly, if I had known how much of a PITA it would be to have to discuss my tattoos with every nosy, untattooed person out there I might not have gotten them. The annoyance of having to engage nosy strangers on the Metro or random men standing on street corners would have provided the deterrence that my father could not.

          • anon

            Just curious – why did you get the tattoos if you didn’t want people to pay attention to them? Seems counterintuitive to me.

    • 34

      You should totally cover them if you have an “office fitness facility” that is full of office workers. If you’re going to be uncomfortable covering them (which if on your legs, yoga pants aren’t very uncomfortable) then you should chose to use non-office fitness facilities.

      It’s the same with the revealing clothes etc. If you want to work out in a sports bra and no top at your gym, go right ahead. But put a shirt on if your gym is not YOUR PERSONAL GYM, but instead your OFFICE GYM.

      Hope that helps.

    • a passion for fashion

      I have a tattoo and its visable whenever i wear a skirt (which is often) albeit fairly small. I forget i even have it since its been there so long, but i often get questions about it. i just answer the question and move on. I like my tattoo and dont really care if people see it, even in a conservative environment.

  15. Anon

    Just had my first IUI this morning (a fertility treatment one step before IVF for the uninitiated). It was completely strange walking back into work and now pretending like nothing’s up; also, I feel like the next two weeks will be interminable waiting for the results.

    Anyway, has anyone out there who has had the procedure had fairly significant cramping along with the procedure? Doc says it’s normal, as long as I can breathe normally and walk, but I’m curious about how long the pain will last (and also would love to hear any success stories right now!).

    • Respectfully,

      Please don’t.

      While I’m sympathetic, I think it’s really unfair for certain posters to attempt to turn this board into a fertility/mommy blog. The survey bore this out too. I know this is just one post but it is a dangerous topic. It quickly becomes repetitive and boring, takes up space, is content free, is often way too graphic, and is not ever related to career topics. There are better infertility spaces where you can have this conversation.

      Non career related fertility questions are a gateway drug to mommyblogging. Seriously. It is like moving the conversation away from even the present suggestions and more into the “My best friend spanks her child but I don’t spank mine so what do we do when we go on holiday?” type queries. “Breast or bottle” type debates. This is not a mommyblog. And if I had a SN child, or was TTC, or wanted to talk about DD or DH or DS or DSS or whatever other cutesy little acronyms now infest grown women’s speech, I would find an appropriate place to do it. But I would argue vigorously that Corporette is not it. And I think I resent women who have to bring their children (either real or hypothetical) into every conversation.

      Also, it’s worth noting that when this has come up before, many of the women who complained WERE trying to conceive. They felt unhappy that they could not escape the discussion, even on Corporette. They felt there were dedicated sites and support systems to discuss this and felt frustrated that now they were reminded of their fertility issues even on sites they considered “safe spaces”.

      I just don’t see what questions like this are meant to achieve. There is no content, they are just calls for solidarity and reassurance dressed up as inquiries. A previous poster described the content of her panties and then asked if she might be pregnant! How should we know?

      Also, I think that what elevates the discussion here so is that most of the comments people make here, they would make in real life. It doesn’t suffer from the good or bad aspects of the internet in that there is excessive emotionalism either way. Do people offer and receive support? Yes. But it is not livejournal, or mumsnet or some other insular closed community which thrives on (sometimes hysterical) over entanglement. The danger of questions like this is by attempting to nakedly elicit emotional content on sensitive topics, we move closer and closer to that model.

      I personally think this is the best reason for NOT moving to a forum format and I suspect this is why it hasn’t been done.

      • helenshkie

        Dignifying this tirade with a (late) response:
        I don’t live in the US, so the discussion about specific styles/fits of clothes from specific US stores are pretty useless and boring to me. But there is enough useful, interesting content on here for me to read the comments almost daily, anyway. As far as I’m aware, it’s not compulsory to read every single comment – I just flick past the posts I’m not interested in. You could do the same, as could anyone else.

        You presume a lot:
        – that no-one on here has useful comments for the OP;
        – that posting about this topics is a “…gateway to mommyblogging”? Please. Personally, the reason that I enjoy reading about motherhood-related topics on this site is because the participants are like-minded, literate, and wholly disinclined towards the use of the acronyms you mentioned;
        – that lack of diversity on Corporette would be a good thing
        – that you know Kat’s reasons for maintaining the site in this format

        Finally, I see plenty of emotive content on here, whether it be related to individuals’ issues, successes, good news, complaints about the bar exam… Motherhood is just one of many personal concerns that women need to juggle with their career. To ignore/ban treatment of this topic would be to risk turning Corporette into another “insular closed community”.

      • Still Trying

        I agree with Respectfully. There are plenty of TTC blogs out there and this is my refuge from the baby talk. While I think certain pregnancy related matters are appropriate for this blog, such as how to tell your boss, deal with workload, etc., let’s please not get into discussing physical symptoms of procedures.

    • Anon IVF

      I did one IUI pre-IVF, and I did experience minimal cramping–very minimal cramping that went away quickly. Take it easy on yourself. Be extra nice to yourself. The two week wait is brutal. IUI didn’t work for us (severe male factor), but it works for a lot of people. First round of IVF did work for us, and we now have 3 year old twins. Best of luck on your journey!

      • Meg

        Hi, we did IUI with our first child and had some minor cramping. Not too bad and more importantly had success the first time. Did it again when we were ready for a second child and also sucessful the first time and had twins! Thinking happy thoughts for you!

    • Samantha

      Good luck! I know it’s hard, but try not to think about it and keep yourself busy over the next 2 weeks.

    • Anon

      Thanks all for sharing the good luck/thoughts, and to Anon IVF for sharing your story! I really appreciate it, and will just work on my patience over the next two weeks!

      • Anne-on

        If you haven’t already, you may want to check out “a little bit pregnant” a blog that deals with infertility issues and chronicles the author’s own struggles with the IUI/IVF world. Very tongue in cheek, which I liked, and no mention of “baby dust” (ugh) to be found.

        • Missy

          Anyone worry about checking out a blog like this at the office because use may be monitored?

    • Porter

      How exciting! I’m crossing my fingers for you for good news in 10-14 days. No experience here with IUI, but know tons of people who have done it and all of them complained of cramps for 1-2 days.
      Good luck!!!

  17. Anon for this

    Ladies your advice is needed! Long story short I applied for a position at my previous employer on a whim and in a hurry. Old director is excited, so sent my materials to them and HR. HR person very gently informed me of a slight typo with the dates (UGH) and again said not a big deal (I had a good rep there). I replied back with a thank you and bit about how time flies. Do I send a corrected resume later this evening or just let it go? I’m so embarrassed about it, I’m not quite sure what to do…

    Thanks

    • Kady

      Since the HR person is already aware of the mistake, resending a corrected version will do you no (additional) harm. Send it, with a note that you wanted him/her to have a mistake-free version for his/her files.

    • anon

      send a corrected resume asap to the HR person and the old director.
      looks bad/worse if you were informed of the typo but didn’t correct it.

  18. SoCal Gator

    I like camel pants but these are not for me. For a wool pant, I always choose Lafayette 148. For a more casual look, you can’t beat Ann Taylor Loft’s scuba pant. I like the Kate cut. Wore them in camel yesterday paired with a dark plum ruffle top and a scuba peplum Loft jacket in brown. So comfy and sharp looking!

    • E

      BR has some gorgeous camel-colored flannel pants in the Jackson fit right now. I’m very tempted.

  19. clueless summer associate

    This weekend I pulled a few sweaters out of the back of my closet, including my favourite cashmere hoodie from J. Crew. I quickly noticed quite a few of them have small holes in them! The holes are in the body or the arms…not on seems or anywhere I would think there would be wear and tear. What the heck…do I have moths? Wouldn’t I know that? Or is it just the poor J. Crew quality I’ve been hearing about?

    • mamabear

      Oh bunny – those are moths, and no you wouldn’t necessarily know. Get one of those pheromone sticky traps and see if you catch any. Then you’ll know for sure.

      Sorry about your sweaters! I’ve had it happen and was so upset.

    • Nonny

      Take all your sweaters out of your closet, put them in green garbage bags and tie the top of each bag. Put the bags in your freezer (or a friend’s freezer, if yours isn’t big enough) for a couple of weeks. Apart from the moths themselves, there may be eggs in there that you don’t know about. Freezing will kill them. Do the pheromone sticky trap in the meantime.

    • MJ

      Moths. You can take the sweaters to a French reweaver for a fix. It’s pricy but worth it if you love them. Learn to store cashmere in completely airtight pouches (large ziplocks), a chest where moths can’t get them, and to dryclean before longer storage (summer) periods. Sorry. I had this happen too and it was heartbreaking!

  20. Anon in NC

    Threadjack – Fashion question…I am travelling tomorrow for meetings that will last 1.5 days (so will need two outfits). I travel tomorrow night and return Friday. I want to pack as little as possible – taking only one large carry-on tote . I am thinking of packing the following wrap dress in black (I got the tall and the length is perfect for business – i’m only 5,7) I’m also thinking a jacket to go with it and can wear the dress for dinner in the evening. I’m striking out for wednesday evening and Friday morning where I need to look professional and travel also? Thanks in advance. http://bananarepublic.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=69885&vid=1&pid=858858&scid=858858002

    • Ru

      I like the dress, seems good to me unless you need to dress business formally.

    • Bonnie

      That’s a tough question to answer without knowing more about your needs. What type of event are you going to Wednesday evening? Is it a formal office? Or you the main person or play a supporting role?

      • Anon in NC

        Wednesday evening is dinner with other attorneys – not formal but the expectation is to dress professional (does not have to be a suit), wednesday morning meetings, then the airport at noon. Thanks again.

  21. K

    Styling suggestions please?

    I recently bought a charcoal dress knit dress and can’t wait to pair it with an orange cardi (I love charcoal & orange together). However, I’m struggling with what color shoes to wear with it. Black is the only thing I can think of, but I always worry about looking like The Great Pumpkin when I mix black and orange.

    I’d also like to belt the dress at the waist under the cardigan – would a black skinny belt be too much?

        • Anon in NC

          Yeah! Glad you like them. I also got the plain black leather and the nude patent pump – I have a tough time finding shoes and these really worked. Shipping and returns are free with Nordstrom as you know.

    • Ru

      I like the animal print suggestion but I think brown would look really nice – like a brown or tan suede. Navy. For not at work, a pair of red pumps that you had no business purchasing but couldn’t leave unattended in the store.

    • Eleanor

      Maybe burgundy shoes, if you have them? Or that brownish-reddish color, cordovan, I think. I think the black belt is a good idea, although black shoes might look kind of halloween-y. On the other hand, your shoes would be far enough away from your cardigan that it might not matter.

  22. Anon!

    Can anyone recommend a particularly good book or other resource about impostor syndrome? I’ve really been struggling lately. Thank you.

    • helenshkie

      Late response sorry…
      Not specifically about impostor syndrome but check out “Flying without a net: turn fear of change into fuel for success” by Thomas J DeLong. It was as if he could see into my brain.

  23. K

    LOFT is having a great sale today, especially if you need to stock up on basics. Lots of items are $35 or under and then sale items are an extra 30% off. If you use the code “LoveLoft25d”, you’ll get an extra 25% off your order.

    I just scored 2 pairs of leggings, 2 pairs of jeans, a sweater, and a skirt for $140 (with tax and shipping). Not too shabby.

  24. Annie Ms

    I’m going to a family wedding this weekend, and I’m wondering if I can wear a gorgeous silk dress I bought on sale at Banana Republic. Problem: It’s a very light gray (greige?). Similar to the color of this – http://www.stylehive.com/bookmark/br-monogram-collection-br-monogram-pleated-shift-dress-br-monogram-collection-banana-republic-698977

    Is it too close to white?

    I was thinking of styling it with a multicolored necklace, and a navy cardi. I’m not sure which shoes to wear yet. Black tights and black shoes? Hose? I’d prefer not to go bare-legged. This is an indoor wedding in a climate that is having a chilly fall.

    • Corporate Tool

      I think it would be ok with a navy cardi. If you wear navy, wear navy tights/shoes or nude tights and navy/grey shoes.

      I wear hose to winter weddings all the time, and I don’t t hink anyone cares.

    • E

      Totally fine for a wedding. I’d style it with a bit of color – maybe nude hose and bright pumps, and a shawl instead of a cardi so you look dressier. Tights and a cardi aren’t wedding attire IMO.

      Beautiful dress, btw.

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