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Frugal Friday’s Workwear Report: Twist Sleeve T-Shirt

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

Fridays before a long weekend are when I lean extra hard into the “casual” end of business casual. This twist sleeve T-shirt from Amazon Essentials looks like a perfect piece for those days when you still want to look professional, but want to feel like you’re wearing your coziest tee.

I would wear this black-and-white print with black ankle pants and a pair of comfy flats to coast right into the three-day weekend.

The top comes in sizes XS–XXL and also comes in 10 other colorways.

This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

Sales of note for 12.3.24 (lots of Cyber Monday deals extended, usually until 12/3 at midnight)

188 Comments

  1. I’m 45. In my 20s and 30s, I had a few UTIs. The past couple of years I’ve been to the doctor three times for UTI/cystitis issues.

    My diet and lifestyle haven’t changed that much. In fact, now that I’m WFH I’ve been drinking more water consistently and exercising.

    I’m wondering if this has something to do with getting older and the peri-menopause phase. Has anyone dealt with things like this at this age?

    1. Are you sure they’re actually infections? As in cultures have come back positive? Repeated UTIs can actually be interstitial cystitis. If they haven’t already, your doctor should either refer you to a urologist or do more testing themselves.

      1. That’s a good point. The first one was in 2020 and I did a telemedicine visit and she prescribed antibiotics based on my symptoms, and they did clear up after I finished the medication. The second one was definitely a UTI based on the urine sample and culture. She sent this one out for a culture as well, but on the initial test she noticed some blood in the urine. If the culture comes back negative this time, I will ask about the cystitis.

        1. OP, you might have a kidney stone that didn’t give the classic excruciating pain. You just described my pattern exactly from fall 2020. Repeated negative UTI tests, very trace blood in urine, kidney stone didn’t show up on a scan…. But after two months of on-and-off sensitivity in that area, out it popped, thank god.

          1. Glad you got rid of the stone! Did you have sensitivity in the bladder area or kidneys? The main symptom I have is feeling like I have to pee even when I’ve just gone. And just a general uncomfortable feeling in the area.

          2. 10:05 here – no sensitivity in the bladder or kidneys, only the urethra. (It sometimes felt like pain in the vajayjay.). Sometimes it felt like a little prickle, sometimes crampy, sometimes I literally felt normal – in hindsight I now know this was as the stone slowly made its way down, its position and nearby nerves affected what I felt and how!

            That on-and-off discomfort and bladder urgency were my only symptoms.

          3. 10:05 again, one other thought – I did not have any actual discomfort when urinating (like the sting you associate with a UTI) until what I now know was the very end, the last 2 or so days before the stone passed out.

        2. I’ve also had trace blood and UTI symptoms for a while, and we’re still not sure if it’s interstitial cystitis (a diagnosis of exclusion) or a weird medication side effect. All my cultures are negative, though, so if you’re getting positive cultures, it probably is just an age related increase in susceptibility, which is a thing. They should still do more testing to see if they can treat them more effectively, though.

          1. I’m curious about the results of this latest culture. If it comes back negative, I will ask for a referral to a urologist.

          2. In the mean time, I’ve found that the I have to pee all the time feeling is better if I avoid caffeine, carbonation, and alcohol. There’s a more in depth interstitial cystitis diet that I haven’t tried yet (also eliminating everything acidic or spicy for several months), but the understanding I got from my doctor was that avoiding common bladder irritants can help anyone with bladder issues and it’s at least worth trying for a few days. If you actually have an infection, then you also need antibiotics, but the diet stuff can be worth it for some people.

      2. Agree with the importance of confirming. Not saying this is what you have OP, based on your symptoms, but when I thought I was having recurrent UTIs it turned out to actually be pelvic floor issues that cleared up with pelvic PT.

        1. Highly recommend pelvic floor PT if you have access. I’m the person who responded above, and I’ve also been doing that, as muscle tension also appears to be part of my problem. It hasn’t gone away, but it does help a lot.

        2. Yes, this. I had received a diagnosis of exclusion of Interstitial Cystitis from a urologist. I lived with constant pain and frequency as if I had a UTI all the time. After spending a lot of time on the Reddit IC board, I ended up giving pelvic floor therapy a try.

          Turns out I have a hypertonic pelvic floor that creates the same symptoms of a UTI. Stretching and relaxation exercises have gotten me to a nearly pain-free place.

    2. How much have you been exercising? In joys of getting older, I’ve noticed more UTIs (or UTI like symptoms) when I’m flirting with heat stroke on runs (live in SEUS, so that means summer), not 100% diligent about taking off all my sweating clothes the minute I walk into the house, and also when I’m dehydrated.

      1. I try to work out 3-4 times a week. Cardio/HIIT and strength training. I live in the midwest and it can get pretty hot and humid. I’m not always diligent about changing out of workout clothes right away, but that is something I will start doing!

    3. IDK but I turned 38 in April and since then i’ve had a yeast infection, a UTI and just got diagnosed with BV. My OB isn’t concerned and said “it happens.” UGH.

    4. Have you tried d-mannose? I had recurrent UTIs and it helped. Uqora is an OTC supplement that I think also helped. And like the poster above, avoiding caffeine, carbonation, sugary drinks, and alcohol helped a lot (even though that really rules out all the good drinks). I also got some relief from drinking natural marshmallow tea. (All this is in addition to antibiotics!)

    5. Thanks so much for the advice, everyone! I will try the diet changes and check out the Reddit site. Pelvic floor therapy us something to consider as well and will look into that.

      1. fwiw yes gravity and age actually does increase uti as does changes is est*rogen. so more utis as you age esp over 65.

    6. I highly recommend the complete system from Uqora. I had so many UTIs in a short period of time that my doctor prescribed me to take antibiotics preventatively (gardening is my culprit). I didn’t want to do that and stumbled on Uqora. I’ve been using their 3 step system for the past 2.5 years and have not had a single UTI since. It has changed my life.

    7. I’m much younger, but getting a good intimate wash made a huge difference for me. No soap (so no sls), no perfume, as much lactic acid as possible.

  2. Parents of teens: do I bring my kids to my college reunion or some other time? They are old enough I want to expose them to colleges (mine is small college in small college town; we have a local state U that they do to enough to have a feel for a larger school but it is primarily a commuter school). I am a big reunion chatter but if they are bored or whatever, I suspect they can just use their phones (or g-d forbid take pictures). Yes? Just go solo or with a friend?

    1. I would not take teens to this unless the reunion specifically has activities planned for potential students. It sounds fun for an adult but dreadfully boring for a teenager, and I would enjoy myself less having a bored person follow me around the whole time. Prospective student weekend type events sound like a better way for the teens to get acquainted with the campus.

      1. I would take them on the trip, but have them explore campus and the town with their other parent while you attend the actual reunion.

    2. Do they want to go? The exposure isn’t worth it if a grumpy teenager ruins your lovely evening.

    3. I wouldn’t bring them to official reunion activities unless specifically marketed as “bring your family” – even then, though, I think they would probably be bored silly surrounded by parents talking about “wait, isn’t this block where X used to be? Omg remember that time that……” and there might be kind of a chilling effect on the conversation if people are reluctant to talk about rowdy memories in front of tweens, etc.

      I think they’d have more fun on a visit when school is really in session and they can get the normal vibe.

    4. Do they want to go? And are there activities planned for teens? I’m not old enough for teenage kids, but I know my alma mater does have those at the reunions of people with kids that age. I get the impression that they encourage it as part of recruiting potential students.

      1. My college has an admissions tour during the reunion that’s just for the teens, not their parents (who are mostly moms). I think a lot of teenagers of alumnae get a pretty hard sell about women’s colleges in general and our women’s college in particular, so it’s designed as a way they can check out the place (and talk to current students) without their folks.

    6. Parent of recent college graduate here and I suggest asking teen if they want to go. (And not taking them if they do not.)

      How enjoyable it would be depends on a lot we do not know: Is the reunion during the day so that teen can wander around campus, check out the store and grab Starbucks? Or is an evening event? Can you make a weekend of it? But at the end of the day when it came to questions like this I defaulted to asking my kid what she wanted to do.

    7. It depends on the college. Mine specifically has stuff for high school age kids of alumni – most of it is separate from reunion but they do have stuff for kids at reunion as well.

    8. I went with my mom to her high school reunion when I was a teen and ended up hitting it off with the son of one of her classmates :) The son and I were the same age and hung out throughout the weekend and were romantic pen pals (lolz – actual letters with stamps) for a little while after. (Living 300 miles apart will dampen young romance pretty quick haha.) Anyways, the weekend was intentionally family-friendly and they had activities planned for kids and teens during the one formal evening reception that kids weren’t invited to.

  3. Has anyone started a blog with the hopes of making a little extra money? How did it go for you? I’m thinking about doing it, mostly because I like the idea of building something creative but also because it would be nice to have a little extra income.

    2. I don’t think you can guarantee that you will make money from a blog. You should go into it because it’s something you enjoy and want to do and then if you make money from it, that’s great. It may take a while for you to build a following and get to the point where you make money, so you have to decide how much time/effort you are willing to put into it. I think it is something that would be a long term effort.

    3. I did this for about 4 months. The part I really didn’t like about it was that in order to make it successful, you have to figure out how to market it successfully on social media. Social media marketing and influencing was definitely not for me. I don’t really see how you can monetize a blog without some version of that.

      There is a whole cottage industry of “business coaches” of successful marketers to help you learn how to do this (or try to do it). It gets feeling a bit cult-ish. I did buy one group coaching program for around $1k, it did teach me a bunch of social media marketing stuff I didn’t know, so I wouldn’t say it was a waste, but the entire vibe of trying to attract followers is just not my favorite. I had followed a bunch of social media business coaches when I was doing it, and have over the past few years unfollowed a bunch and am still seeing ads and business coach influencers pop up as suggested follows.

      FWIW, I haven’t went through them, but I have the best impressions of Chris Loves Julia Good Influence(r) program and Pinch of Yum’s Food Blogger Pro (food blogs); they are actual very successful blog brands that seems to be trying to create a sustainable industry. But I might just think that because I follow the two brands.

      1. One more thought – if you want to make money at it, figure out where the money is going to come from. On the Good Influence(r) instagram, Julia shared their profit breakdown (like where the money comes from) and something like only 5% comes from the blog ads. Their social and affiliate links were at the top. Obviously they’re doing their thing as a huge business, but I thought it was interesting.

        1. Yup. Which means you need to buy a bunch of stuff so that you can market it at the time it is still available for your followers to buy. I enjoyed blogging as a creative outlet, but I could not do it long term because of the guilt of buying/returning/encouraging others to buy/always having to have the new thing.

    4. I feel like we passed peak blog ages ago. Especially as a money making tool. I think that’s all moved to Instagram and TikTok and Substack.

    5. Honestly I think blogs peaked about ten years ago and unfortunately (bc I liked blogs) I don’t think many people read them anymore, that type of content is shared directly on social media these days. I think you’d be hard pressed to make any money at all on a blog in 2022.

    6. I’d say 90-95% of bloggers make less than $1000 a year. 4-9% of bloggers make an income, but under $250K a year. 1% of bloggers make more than $250K a year. Still thousands of people making 6 figure blogs. The new trend for bloggers is selling a course for $49 or $97, so think about your content in terms of that. (Also if you have a very specific niche.) Personal style blogs have mostly moved to TikTok/IG instead though.

      1. Online courses and memberships is a favorite pitch of “passive income” proponents, which doesn’t seem passive at all to me if you have to market it regularly, but I guess it works for some people. Check out the books by Richard Brunson (Expert Secrets is good) for this strategy. I think 4 Hour Workweek also touts courses+google marketing as “passive income”.

    7. Blogs are dead or well founded already, you’re about 15 years too late for that I’m afraid. Money maybe on TikTok but finding a big enough audience is pretty tough

    8. It’s pretty hard to make significant cash money from a blog. It’s easier to get comped product (e.g. hosted travel if you’re a travel blog). Even as a small time travel blogger (less than 5,000 followers) I got some hosted travel.

      Agree that it’s all about social media these days. No one really cares about blogs anymore. They just want number of Twitter and Insta and Pinterest (and probably now TikTok?) followers. I love blogging but hated the social media stuff so I gave up on trying to earn money pretty quickly and just blog for myself now.

    9. I have a blog associated with my business. I don’t make money from the blog itself (didn’t want to include ads/affiliate links). Instead, I offer online courses and resume writing services to my audience (lawyers/law students). It takes time and effort to build up a following and you need to get used to ups/downs in your salary. If you’re looking to make money solely from blogging, do research into low competition, high value niches but also try to pick something that interests you so you stay motivated to write and publish content.

    10. I started a blog during the heyday, and the most important thing it did was allow me to establish myself as an expert on my subject. This led to new business opportunities. I used to say that I made money “because of” my blog, not “with” my blog (such as by selling ad space on it). It’s a labor of love. You have to do it because you want to, and you have to post pretty much daily to have any hope of establishing a readership. In 2022, I’d probably use Substack instead of a traditional blog format.

  4. Is there a retailer that sells white linen pants that aren’t basically transparent? Bonus points for being real trousers, not an elasticated waist.

    1. Not linen, but the wide leg Frame jeans fit the bill. Definitely be honest with yourself on what size you are.

      2. well fork, those le palazzo jeans look amazing. Now I’m going to think about them all weekend.

    2. I got the white linen pants from Quince, and they’re more opaque than most that I’ve tried, however they also are looser and and the elastic waist, so it may be that they’re just not as fitted.

    3. Some posters have referenced linen shops on Etsy. Maybe run a search and look at those?

  5. Do people think now is the worst time to buy a house? Some houses in my area are still selling for way over asking even though mortgage rates are pretty high. Has anyone read anything insightful about what will happen over the next year or two? I’d like to sell my condo in DC and buy a small house (single, no kids, wfh 3-4 days a week, work downtown 1-2 days a week) in a close in suburb. I’m priced out of most neighborhoods but there are a few areas I could probably afford something small. The uncertainly of the world is so hard right now, but I’m tired of waiting to know what new patterns the world is going to settle into.

    1. I think if you can afford it and find a house that you want, then go for it! You can refinance at some point down the road when interest rates are better.

    2. Unless something drastic and unprecedented happens a la 2008 (unlikely as there is no credit problem and inventory is still relatively low), the best time to buy a house was yesterday – prices generally don’t go down if the area stays desirable. Buy your house now, refinance when rates change. I am also in the casually looking for a house scenario and still open to it – I’m only not in a rush since I already own a workable home (just not the home we want to stay in long term).

    3. I’d look. I’m looking in NOVA right now and at least for townhouses, they are listing for less than 6 mos ago (enough that you make up the differential with higher rates) and aren’t flying off the market in two seconds. IDK if the SFH market differs.

    4. “The uncertainly of the world is so hard right now, but I’m tired of waiting to know what new patterns the world is going to settle into“ To be fair, this is never going to stop.

      Is it the best time to buy a house if you want to maximize your financial investment? Maybe not. Is that the only thing you should consider when making that decision? Also probably not.

      2. Agree with this advice. Even if you end up selling at a loss down the road, is it really a loss if you had a place to live during that time? If we live in our house for 10 years and sold it for zero dollars, it’d still be a win for me because I think the monthly payment is worth what we get out of living in our house. Any resale value is a nice bonus but our home isn’t really an investment.

        My personal view is the right time to buy is when you can afford the monthly payment and plan on staying in one place for a decent period of time. There are tons of benefits (and costs) of home ownership that have nothing to do with the investment.

        Best of luck!

    5. I’m going to give you my take on the situation, which is subjective. In the *usual* housing market all the pressure is on the seller. The buyer has several homes to chose from but the seller has to sell one particular house. In this market it feels like the seller can name their terms and there is a ton of pressure is on the buyer. Spouse and I would like to move to a bigger place (kids take up more room than we thought) but are waiting until the market cools a little and there is more of a balance between buyers and sellers. To be honest, I’m also afraid of buying in a hot market and selling in a cool one. I don’t remember the 2008 bust well (was a renter then) but I felt like the market went soft overnight. Perhaps another reader remembers?

      1. We bought in 2007, so got to watch the 2008 crash from the vantage point of, “jeepers, what have we just done?” In our area, a lot of the “creative” (by which I mean shady) financing options vanished overnight and so did house-flipping. Buying slowed, and pretty much everyone I know who owned a condo or a far-flung house* had their property value tank, at least temporarily, sometimes permanently. But in a lot of LA, most single family homes held onto their value (more or less) for a year or so, then started to appreciate like crazy for the next decade. We’d never be able to buy our place now on our current income.

        *My in-laws bought a tract house in a brand new development out in the desert, and they took a bath when they finally sold it in 2018.

        1. I’m a veteran of the So Cal real estate wars over literally decades, and I feel like the best time to buy a house is when you want to buy a house. I bought in a bubble in 1988, then sold in a crash in the early 90s, then bought again in the still-depressed market a few years later. That house’s value did nothing for years and years, then went up in the early 2000s, then busted again in the Great Recession, then started going up in the mid 2010s just about when I was divorcing my then-husband and he bought me out. I bought another house in 2014, again, just as prices were starting to go up. I paid $695,000 for it, which seemed like a lot given that it was a fixer-upper, but I’m certain I could get double that if I sold it today. So… I’ve had ups and downs and lost a bunch of money on my first house, but all in all I think I’ve come out ahead.

          1. I agree. We bought because our landlord passed away and we thought it would be better to own if we could afford it.

    6. I’d look. I don’t know if it’s perception or reality but I have never heard so much talk about crime in DC as in the last year and close-in suburbs are only going to get more desirable. If you can find something you like and can afford, I’d go for it – don’t think there will be a future, significantly better time anytime soon and can always refinance.

    7. I’ve been looking for over a year and just over a week ago got my first offer during that time accepted for a house that felt like the unicorn I wanted. I say start looking (get on a realtor’s MLS list and hang out on realtor dot com) and go for it. Your situation will work out for you – forget trying to time this housing market.
      There is a quote I love that helps me when I’m feeling stuck: “Action cures fear. The more you act, the more you remove the mystery. Action creates confidence and motivation. Action is character. You are what you repeatedly do. You’re likely to regret the things you don’t do than the things you do.” Don’t know who to attribute that to.
      Go forth and house hunt, trust your gut and put in an offer when you’ve found something you like.

    8. This is all speculative, but I think a year ago was the worst time to buy a house because of how everything was selling so fast and over asking. At least in my area, the market has cooled somewhat. THere’s a house down from me that has been on the market for a few weeks and initially was asking an amount that seems high and a year ago I think they would have gotten it, but I just checked and they dropped the price $20k because it hasn’t moved. Interest rates are going up, so that’s going to cool things off. I know it seems like it sucks for those buying houses in the next few years with higher interest rates, but the interest rates were so low that I didn’t see how it could be sustainable in the long term. When we bought our first home in 2010, we thought those interest rates were the lowest we ever would see (and was much lower than any interest rate our parents had had on their mortgages), and they just kept dropping – at some point they have to go back up.

      Big caveat to all of my experience: I live in a LCOL rural midwestern area. So I do know it’s a totally different experience than HCOL.

      1. I agree with this. We went under contract (April) and purchased (May) a home in NOVA. Back in April, the seller expected multiple offers and initially rejected our at-asking offer in anticipation of receiving other, higher offers. The seller eventually came back to us after she received no other offers.
        In our close in suburb (not Arlington), I’m continuing to track houses out of curiosity and noticed they’re lingering longer and with price drops.

    9. If you want a house to live in for 5+ years, you’ll be fine. Odds are good that sometime before the 5 years are up rates will come down, and you’ll be able to refinance. Everyone freaked out in 2007-8 that house prices went negative, but in close-in DC suburbs, they never really declined, only flattened out for a couple of years. (Outer suburbs were a totally different story.) You’ll also be able to have a little bit more power now and do standard things like an inspection contingency.

      1. Somewhat related but not, does anyone think the mortgage deduction will ever come back>

        1. Technically it’s still here, it’s just that the cap on state and local taxes means it’s not worth it compared to the higher standard deduction. But if you have a sufficiently large mortgage, you can still take it. I live in CA and rent, but ran the numbers when thinking about buying, and I’d still benefit from it, just not as much as before. I personally think we should get rid of it altogether, though. I’m not sure why wealthy homeowners should be subsidized by less well off people who can’t afford to buy a home.

    10. If you’re looking at it as a place to live (not necessarily as an investment vehicle), not planning to move for a while and you can afford it, it’s probably a great time as the market is cooling a bit.

    11. We bought a house earlier this year. I know we overpaid and I assume in the near future its value will drop. However, I have no regrets because it’s the perfect house for us, we are about to start a family, and we plan to stay here for years to come.

    12. Only you can decide when is the right time.

      For anecdata, I closed on my first home, a condo, last month. I got preapproved at 3.2% interest which ultimately became 5%. That hurt, but my mortgage is only $146 more than my rent. As a homeowner, I’ll get to deduct mortgage interest on my taxes, and I’m building equity. I intend to refinance when rates are lower.

      It took me 14 months to get an accepted offer. I still have an MLS search set up, and I see condos are sitting onthe market for weeks, not days. Some prices have even dropped. So that is one plus of the interest rate hike. Definitely seeing a market cool down in my HCOL Northeastern city.

    13. I was in your situation a few years ago. Also single, no kids. I live in a close-in(ish) MD suburb, small houses, some with big yards (so great future flexibility), lots of renovations ongoing which has increased my house value. Your DC condo should have risen in price as well —is it the investment or the living situation that is motivating a change? DMV has not really followed national housing trends so I would be less concerned about that. Rates will eventually go down and you can refi. For me it was no more shared walls and less density so VA was out and that was before the Amazon announcement (also what policies/services my tax dollars are funding). I was fine spending time on house/lawn. If considerations like these don’t apply then what else is there that justifies an all consuming, lengthy process that would result in a relatively equivalent situation? I thought it was crazy when I was buying but listed houses in my neighborhood sell in under a week. Noting other comments it’s slowing in VA—maybe these are just not priced optimally.

      Regardless of where you look don’t forget flood risk — not just projected sea level rises but groundwater level increases of 2-3 feet. Fortunately I bought on a hill but my exterior renovations do account for higher groundwater levels. I have several friends who were told the basement doesn’t flood but they all do here eventually, especially closer to the rivers, so what is in place to mitigate?

  6. I am unexpectedly going to do a full day of in person interviews sometime in the next two weeks at an early stage financial services company. The industry is typically more formal but the early stage nature and the golf shirt on the head of the firm at the zoom meeting is throwing me off. I haven’t bought professional clothing since before the pandemic and don’t know what to wear. Somebody dress me? Size 14, broad shoulders and large bust. Need shoes too, to go with whatever is appropriate… Basically treat me like those paper dolls like when we were girls and sort me out from head to toe!

    1. I like loafers, straight leg pants, a top with sleeves, and a coordinating blazer. Both formal and not-formal. If everyone is super casual and you feel uncomfortable, you can stuff the blazer in a tote bag. The Quince silk tee is a good option for the top. (I don’t own it, but I am very busty and wear their sleeveless silk tank frequently).

    2. I’d probably go silky dress and stacked heels with a blazer – MMLF has some patterned ones that show personality but are in the professional zone.

    3. I’d go with a dress and leather flats. I have a wide chest and narrow waist, and wrap dresses work really well for me (as long as the wrap doesn’t hit too low), so I’d go with that. I have a $40 one off Am-zn and it’s a workhorse!

  7. So the renewed passport arrives by August. Having not been out of the country in years and no domestic travel since Dec 2019, where would you go in Europe post Labor Day? IDK why I think this but seems like even with the long flights to/from Europe may still make it a Covid safer trip than domestically; maybe that isn’t true anymore but it seems like there’s still some more masking in Europe than the US.

    Looking for a city trip (not exploring countryside), a city with lots of outdoor walking around to explore, direct flight from DC though I could fly from NYC or Phila if I had to. Only place that’s out is London as that’s the only European city I’ve spent a few weeks in already.

    1. Anywhere in Europe pretty much is fabulous in Sept. It’s our fav time of year to go. The Mediterranean is particularly gorgeous that time of year – south of France (perhaps fly to Nice with a connection), Italy, and Greece are all lovely options. Paris? (Have been a few times that time of year; might be cloudy or rainy, might be 72 and sunny and perfect.)

      1. Oh I see you specifically want a city. Rome. Florence. Barcelona. Lisbon. Amsterdam. Paris. Any of them are a lovely fall destination!

        I wouldn’t plan on Covid being better or worse anywhere at this point, but in most cities, it’s easy to dine outdoors that time of year.

        Masks on planes are like 10% of passengers based on the 4 domestic and 2 international I’ve taken since the requirement dropped.

    2. I just went to Spain and there was actually less masking than where I live in the US (which is admittedly NYC). Trains and subway were about the only places I saw masks, but there was good compliance there. No one gave me a hard time for masking myself, though.

      Had a great time and it’s a very easy trip for someone who’s been out of the travel groove (which was my situation too).

    3. Can’t speak for the rest of Europe but I just spent two weeks in the UK and it seemed like the only people masking were tourists. That being said, we wore masks indoors and largely ate outside and seem to have come home covid free. Masking on the plane was pretty dismal sadly.

      1. Nobody is masking anywhere in Europe. I just got back from Paris with a trip through Belgium and the Netherlands and barely any masking except by tourists.

        OP, Paris is the best city so that gets my vote.

    4. I mean anywhere. Fall is a great time to go to Europe. Paris, Rome and Florence, Amsterdam, Barcelona

      1. +1. Weather-wise, it is hard to be September in European cities. Just really depends what you want to do.

        Masking is almost non-existent in Europe in my recent experience, so I wouldn’t plan a trip there based on that.

    6. I used to regularly take a fall trip to Europe and anywhere in Italy, France and Spain is great. Italy and Spain in particular have great weather in September and early October. I’d go to Rome and Florence or Madrid.

    7. I vote Paris or anywhere in Italy. I was in Venice in late September last year and it was #1 lovely and #2 the ideal time to go weather-wise. Early mornings and late evenings I liked having a cardigan with me, but during the day, jeans and a tee shirt were perfect. Also lower crowd level as Europeans tend to holiday in August and also because families have just gone back to school so less likely to pull the kids out and too early for random mid-fall breaks.

      1. Another vote for Venice. It’s on my list of places to go back to, even before I go to some new places.

        1. Oh, Venice gets such a bad rap but if you stay there, you get to enjoy it without the cruise day trippers. Amazing.

    8. There’s definitely more masking in Europe. It’s currently required on public transit (including planes) in a number of countries.

      Tuscany is gorgeous in September. Honestly I don’t think you can go wrong in Europe in September. It’s a beautiful time of year in most countries in Europe. Not being able to travel in Sept is the worst thing about having a spouse in education!

    9. Just got back from Rome (swoon!!) and Greece. Careful on flights. My son caught covid on the flight from Greece to Rome. Although they are not really masking, Covid is still everywhere.

    10. I would go to Paris, weather should be nice still. If that doesn’t work, Prague, Rome, Florence are all great options.

  8. If anyone has worked in mortgage lending or financial advising, did you find truth to all those stats that even those making over 200k are up to their eyeballs in debt, don’t save enough for retirement, spend far too much or all of what comes in etc? Or is that mostly exaggeration by financial companies so people will invest more?

    1. Not in either industry, but anecdotally as a lawyer and talking to friends, acquaintances, co-workers. 100% true. But, on the flip side, as incomes get higher and people are more certain that they will continue making that income, people’s tolerance for debt (especially at low interests rates) increases. For example, know plenty of people that will finance cars despite having the money in the bank to buy it outright making the calculation that they can make more on the ROR with the money elsewhere than the interest rate.

      1. Yes this is us. We are fairy conservative in our spending and most certainly not up to our eyeballs in debt. We save a lot for retirement and our only debts are our mortgage for our house and one car bc the interest rate was negligible and we could make more money elsewhere. I can’t imagine taking on credit card debt or financing any other kind of purchase

      2. 100% this is us too. I financed a $75k car at 1%. I could have bought it outright, but…why?

    2. some are, some aren’t. DH and I have a HHI of ~$300k. We save a LOT of retirement- I haven’t checked recently because I don’t feel like puking but as of a few months ago we had $1.4M saved for retirement at age 38 (combined; we are the same age). $500k of that is roth. We had over $120k in student loans and it’s long been paid off. We save for 3 kids worth of college. We have $200k in our investment account and that doesn’t really grow over time other than wiht the market– ie we don’t really add to it. We tend to spend the rest. We owe a ton of money on our big expensive house (market value is probably $1.1-1.2M; we owe just north of $600. We spent almost $300k on renovations, some of which we financed)

      In contrast, my sister is single, makes $150k a year, has basically no retirement savings and still has credit card and student loan debt. She self admittedly is terrible with money.

      1. “In contrast, my sister is single, makes $150k a year, has basically no retirement savings and still has credit card and student loan debt. She self admittedly is terrible with money.”

        I don’t know your sister’s situation but as someone else who is also single, makes 150k/year, and lives in a MHCOL area and still feels like she’s treading water on saving sometimes….. I just want raise my hand and say that some of us really are trying really hard to save. It is just SO much easier to pay down debt, save big chunks of money, and buy property when you have two hefty incomes. And of course, those “good” decisions usually snowball– you get equity, you earn interest, etc. I wish I could have bought a house in 2014 … but I couldn’t. Didn’t feel I could afford it, didn’t feel secure on one modest income, especially with graduating in the recession fresh in mind. Sometimes I feel like I’m terrible with money when I compare myself to all of my long-coupled friends (or friends whose parents helped them with down payments) and have to remind myself that this isn’t actually the case. (I do have retirement savings, though…). Not trying to criticize you at all, just tossing this out there in case anyone else read this and felt like sh1t.

        1. I make $140K with bonus in a HCOL area and feel the same way. My housing cost is over the recommended 30%, and I have a smaller 2 BR apt. I can’t get a roommate because I WFH and need a dedicated office. I’m also still paying student loans at 37, and it…can be challenging being a single income person. No clue how people do it with kids!

          1. It pisses me off that companies are passing their real estate costs onto their employees and not compensating them. This is not your fault but ugh, you have to have that second bedroom so you can WFH, they’re not having to pay for office space for you, and they’re also not compensating you for that second bedroom *RAGE*

        2. Related: It’s the rare person who gets a lot of help from their parents and broadcasts that information, at least to casual friends. A number of my same-age neighbors who own homes had down payments from their parents, and a few had their parents buy them a house outright. For many years in CA, Prop 13 allowed people to transfer their tax basis to their kids or grandkids, so you had people paying a relative pittance in property taxes because their folks bought in the Palisades in 1978. (This changed recently but you can often get around the change with trusts).

          1. Yep, I bought a condo recently all on my own. I kept getting requests to upload gift paperwork for my downpayment. Ummmm, no gift, just me. It seemed to be the expected default.

            A friend bought her condo at roughly the same time with a significant DP gift from her parents.

    3. Over the past 10-15 years, the upper middle class has changed pretty substantially: what put you in the top 1% a decade ago might have you barely in the top 5% now.

      Top 1% of incomes:
      2009: $343,927
      2021: $632,277

      Sure, inflation happens, but not that much. (The 2009 figure would be about $434k today.)

      Why this matters for people earning $200k: the upper middle class world is awash with the money of those much-higher earning people. Houses, cars, student loans, money to save for your own kids’ education – it’s all been recalibrated for the higher-earning 1% and 5% of people. Your $200k no longer has you earning half what the bottom of the top 1% earns; you’re earning a third of that. And getting priced out.

      1. I think this is exactly right. It’s gotten even worse with big supply limitations on housing, cars, and other goods, but it was a problem well before the pandemic too. If you live around these people, you end up with a false sense of what’s normal and end up feeling poor, but you also are at at real disadvantage when competing for things in limited supply, like houses.

      2. Yes, this. My husband and I were talking about this the other day.
        An example where we have noticed it a lot is vacations (even pre-COVID travel craziness). The level of luxury vacation the incomes in question could expect 10-15 years ago they are now completely priced out of and then some because these high end places are just awash with really next level rich folks. But I think it just takes a minute for a lot of people to really come to terms with not being able to have the same experiences they used to be able to do. Especially when nothing in their situation has really changed. Even if they got inflation income adjustments, to your point.
        I know boo hoo not being able to take luxury vacations, not saying that, but it just happened to be the focus of our conversation and easy to conceptualize because that is what we have experienced firsthand and is something that we do enough over time to really see the change (unlike, say, buying a car which we don’t do often enough to really use for the same mental context).

    4. I think anyone making in the $200K range who had to borrow for school and is still paying it off is up to their eyeballs in debt and not saving.

    5. I seem to recall a divorce lawyer on this board saying it was quite true once.

      I think your perception may depend a lot on your peers/community? We are in the “high earner” category, though definitely not 1%. Many of our friends are too, and financial behavior norms vary widely between, but not very much within, our different friend groups (from two different colleges, two different prof degree programs, four different “prestigious” jobs). If most of our time was spent with only one of these groups instead of across multiples, we would definitely have a different view of what’s normal whereas we feel like we see a wide range across our social circles. Within some groups, college is already fully saved for for toddler children. Some of our other friends have no intention of paying for their kids’ college and probably couldn’t cover the mortgage if there was a job loss.

    6. My stepmom is a now-retired mortgage broker, and she said she never stopped being surprised by the levels of debt some people did (or didn’t) have. Appearances can be very deceiving.

    7. I think it’s fairly accurate. I know dual income couples making 300k together living a lifestyle that seems mind blowing to my 225k earning self with huge mansions, only buying luxury cars, hundreds of dollars of takeout weekly. Sure you’ll say well there’s 2 of them and they’re 75k ahead of you. Except these families have 3-4 kids, often 1-2 in college, often a kid needing therapies for autism.

      Over the years as we’ve hit our 50s though it’s become clear that they’re very behind on retirement savings. I’m not saying they don’t have retirement saving, I’m saying they haven’t prioritized putting 20k in per person per year for the last 3 decades and when they think about retirement they are understandably worried about how they’ll do it. But the lifestyle was too important to them. These are people who were living in perfectly beautiful 4 bedroom homes who at age 45 decided they had to upgrade to even bigger 6 bedroom homes. And often real estate purchases involved money coming out of the 401k.

  9. I have to go to a reunion-type event next week with people I haven’t seen since pre-pandemic, and am really not liking how I look recently…just very worn-out and at my highest weight. Of course I don’t have time for any real changes in a few days, but do you have any tips about little things you can do to look pleasant and polished?

    Current plan is to dress as nicely as I can, try my best with hairstyling and makeup even though I’m usually very low maintenance in these areas), and also…try not to care so much. :)

    1. Smile! I had the same feelings and no one cared at all, just smile like you’re happy to see them.

    2. Can you go get a haircut? Even on a simple style this can really make you feel fresher.

    3. I feel this. I don’t have any real advice for looking more polished but it’s helpful to remember lots of people are in the same boat. I had a pool party last weekend and wasn’t feeling great about myself but then noticed of my guests, nearly all had gained weight or looked a little worse for the wear since the pandemic. And obviously I didn’t care that they gained weight, I was just so happy to see them all and enjoy a pleasant day in the sun when there’s so much terrible happening in the larger world. And then realized they didn’t care that I gained weight, they were happy I had a pool on a hot day, haha. I guess this is to say give yourself some grace, we’ve all been through (and are continuing to go through) hel1.

    4. I just had two back to back weeks of work meetings and I’m a bit heavier than I’m currently comfortable with due to some health issues. I wasn’t feeling great about it, so I got a blowout, made sure I was in a well fitting outfit that flattered me (vs. squeezing into something a bit too small) made an extra effort with makeup/accessories and it was fine – everyone was just so happy to see people in person that I didn’t even think about it. I’m sure people will be so happy to see you they won’t think anything of it.

    6. Here’s what I would do:
      -haircut (and hair color freshened, if you color your hair – I do)
      -a gel manicure
      -a new outfit that fits well and you really like, or at least a new piece – I would go find something at tj maxx. If you don’t feel like buying clothes, get a fun piece of jewelry or sandals. something new that you like.
      -a fresh new tinted chapstick or lipstick, if lipstick is your thing

      Depending on where if you make appointments today and how early in the week your reunion is next week, you should be able to squeeze the hair appointment and manicure in as long as you don’t go to pretty exclusive salons.

      1. +1 – I’d also get a blow out day of the event, I always feel great when someone else does my hair

    7. I second the grooming tips. I’d wear a breezy dress and sandals in a current style. If you don’t have time or budget to buy a whole new outfit, focus on updating one key piece and that will bring the rest of the outfit along.

    8. Just chiming know to say you’re not alone. I had an interview yesterday (single mom, 3 kids, was size 2 pre COVID now size 10) and couldn’t find a single top that fit. Thankfully it was on zoom so just put on a dress with a zip which was left unzipped and they didn’t see.

      It’s frustrating for so many people to have moved on from COVID, when for example my youngest isn’t vaccinated for another month, and was told two weeks ago that he was exposed at school so we had a quarantine. At a “regular” income, it’s impossible to afford a nanny (they are very expensive right now), so am doing extra qualifications to bump up my pay bracket, and taking on extra work which cuts into my sleep, and then boom how can that be sustained when my three year old girl is with me 24/7 during a work week and requires quarantining and attention, and meanwhile I have to get her siblings to camp. In the same car.

      What I’m saying is…it’s super hard, and people have been through the mill. Try to enjoy the time with your friends, if you put on weight then you’ll get tons more chances to see them in coming years and you’ll probably have normalized your weight by then. It’s a temporary problem. Hope you have a great time and enjoy it.

  10. Backpack for work: does anyone have one that’s especially comfortable? I have the Knomo backpack often recommended here. It’s okay but the flimsy nylon and narrow straps make it uncomfortable when holding several items. I guess I need more structure and padding? Thanks for your recommendations!

    1. Depends on what you consider appropriate for work, but I have the North Face Isabella backpack I use for work in finance and I think it looks nice enough and is very comfortable (padding, wide enough straps, chest strap for when needed etc). I have a beautiful maroon color that they sadly don’t make anymore but if you google it there are a bunch of color options at a variety of sellers. I even see one with some leather elements on posh mark which may elevate it.

    2. I have a Fjallraven laptop backpack (not their ubiquitous Kraken, I think it’s the 28L Raven model?) and I like it. Nicely padded steps and back, comfortable, loads of pockets and works as a weekend bag/carry on if you pack thoughtfully. It fits in well with the elevated golf shirt culture my office has adopted.

    3. I have the Tumi Carson one and it’s comfortable. I never have any issues with the straps. I also often have it loaded up with a lot, especially when I travel and bring 2 laptops and an iPad plus all my other carry-on necessities (admittedly it eventually gets uncomfortable when carrying that much weight, but I can’t imagine what wouldn’t and it’s more back strain pain than shoulder discomfort).

    4. I love my Timbuk2 convertible messenger/backpack. I use it only as a backpack and it has held unreally well for 4 years – it looks brand new.My daughter asked for one for college because it has lots of pockets for organizing.

    5. I have one from Lo and Sons and love it. It’s the more low end one that’s made from recycled plastic. I can walk miles with it loaded up.

      1. I have that one too. I’ve worn it for day trips all day loaded up.

        I also have the Lo and Sons Rowledge which is not very comfortable to carry for more than awhile. The purse to backpack conversion clips rub against the bottom of my shoulder blades. Looks great, though.

    6. I sound like a bot for Nordace at this point but I have their Sienna backpack and I love it. Fits a ton, lots of pockets, and I like that it holds its shape when empty. I found it while looking for a cheaper alternative to a Tumi and recommend it all the time here.

    7. Thank you all for these helpful suggestions! I will check out all of them!

  11. Has anyone gotten their 2nd booster shot? My husband and I are early 30s, and are heading to Europe in a few weeks. My husband wants to get our 2nd boosters before we leave. From what I’ve read, they don’t seem to make THAT much of a difference in terms of preventing covid – just in preventing severe outcomes. We also both had covid in January. I had an extremely bad reaction to my first booster, so I am really hesitant until they come out with a new shot that is more targeted toward Omicron. Anyone have experience or additional knowledge – is it worth it?

    1. I had this discussion (almost same scenario, except I haven’t had covid) with my friend who is an infectious disease doc., and he said to get the 2nd booster at least 2 weeks in advance of my trip.

    2. My over-50 spouse got his second booster the day he could and it was less reaction than his first booster. Are under-50 people even eligible for a second booster yet?

      1. No, but you can argue your way into one at a pharmacy (I did) or just say that you are immunocompromised.

        1. I’m under 50 and immunosuppressed. When I got my 2nd booster, the pharmacy requested my dr’s orders, which I had in hand. But from what I understand, that situation is the rarity. Most places don’t check.

          1. I don’t think it’s a rarity. I was turned down at the pharmacy for a second booster, because I couldn’t prove I was immunocompromised, and I’m not over 50.

          2. 2:33, I’d try a different pharmacy – I lied and there was no proof required. I think you just ran into a stickler. There’s such little uptake on the boosters generally they should be giving them away and anyone who wants one should be able to get it.

      3. I felt like death the first three vaccines, but was fine with my second booster. I felt a bit flu like for an hour.

    3. My bf got his second 2 weeks before a trip and then got Covid on the trip (so literally right when it should have been at its peak of protection). That said, he was barely sick: he had a cold-like illness that was more mild than his normal colds, though is still testing positive on rapid tests 10 days later.

      In contrast, my bff got Covid at the same time after one booster a long time ago (she’s not eligible for her second yet) and was very very sick, much sicker than my bf despite being 10 years younger.

      That said, if it were me I might wait for an Omicron booster. If you get an old school one and omicron ones come out on the fall, you might not be eligible for one immediately.

    4. We had ours. They were the second worst as far as side effects. (1st none, 2nd awful, 3rd about halfway in between 1 and 2, 4th between 3 and 1).

      We got Covid anyway, like 3 weeks later, but it was the 4-5 day “ok to work through it with cold med” variety.

    5. I’m old so maybe my experience won’t be helpful, but I got my second booster a while ago and had no significant side effects (just a slightly sore arm).

      In terms of “is it worth it?” I’d say preventing severe outcomes is a pretty big benefit! However, I also am under the impression that actually having COVID acts like a booster although my googling around seems to show inconsistent reports in that regard.

      1. 33 and got a second booster (hi, cancer). Side effects were a sore arm and fatigue, similar to my first three shots. All Pfizer.

    6. Nope. My understanding is you need to be over 50 or immunocompromised and I am neither of those things.

    7. Tldr: I recommend a second booster

      I got a second booster shot in mid May, mainly bc I was going to a wedding in a state that has low vax rates and basically denies the continued existence of covid. The side effects were milder for me than after my first booster: felt icky for one day then was fine the next morning.

      Fast forward to 2 weeks after the wedding and my partner tests positive. We isolated from the world but not from each other (not really doable in our apartment). I spent hours & hours next to him on the couch and we slept in the same bedroom. I tested almost every morning and never had a positive test.

      My partner didn’t get “seriously” ill, as in he didn’t need to go to the hospital or urgent care, but he sure felt like poop for 10+ days. In contrast, there was one day where I had mild muscle aches and a bit of a headache, but nothing that was bad enough to keep me from my normal activities (working from home, indoor workouts, housework, etc). And yes I tested when I had those symptoms and I was still negative. I’m guessing that I had a very mild infection that my immune system was able to fend off very quickly, and that I never got to the point where I was actually infected enough that I had a detectable viral load. That probably also means that I wasn’t ever producing enough viral particles to spread it to someone else, but I know the scientific evidence on that is mixed.

      My partner and I got our initial does & booster at the same time in 2021 — our booster dose was in November. The only difference is that I got a second booster, and he did not.

      1. Oh also, I have chronic health conditions, including asthma, that could make me more vulnerable to covid. I had to be on extra steroids last winter (around the time of my first booster, which is why I was recommended for a second one). In contrast, my partner practically never takes a sick day and gets maybe 1 cold every 2 years. We’re both late 30s and have similar levels of physical fitness.

        So yeah, IMO second booster for the win.

    8. My mom got a second booster and my dad did not (because of bad side effects after the first booster) two weeks before going on vacation to Europe. Neither got Covid while there (both masked indoors), and then both got Covid from a wedding after getting back. My moms case was milder, but they both had very mild illnesses. So completely anecdotal, but looks like the booster does more to decrease severity than prevent infection.

      1. That’s not new news. The vaccine itself does more to decrease severity than prevent infection

    9. I had the J&J shot first, so I qualified for and got my second booster. I’ve heard anecdotally that those who were recently boosted may have milder symptoms if they do get COVID. That was enough for me to find it worthwhile.

      I had a minor reaction (fatigue, exhaustion, very very sore arm) to my first J&J shot, a lesser response to my second Moderna shot (very sore arm), and almost no response to my third Pfizer shot (mildly sore arm).

      #trifecta

    10. Currently quite sick, Day 9, double-vaxxed and double boosted. I hate to imagine the severity without all of the vaxxing.

    11. I had 4 shots of Pfizer altogether (4th in March’22) and I did it basically to reduce chances of catching our fav virus while I will be enjoying my sabbatical traveling. I cannot comment to its efficacy but haven’t caught anything and always tested negative. I did the shots for my own peace of mind, even though I was aware the efficacy may not be good against newer variants. I didn’t have any side effects besides mild arm pain and fatigue for half a day.

  12. I’ve been with my BF for two years. Everything is great, except for the gardening. I’m his first adult relationship, and he had very little gardening experience beforehand.

    Early on, I communicated that going downtown is really important to me as a part of intimacy. He said he loved to do it, but then it only ever happened infrequently or for 30 seconds at a time. He made a comment once that it made him tired, and at another point said that he had a low gardening drive, so it didn’t come naturally. When I later tried to probe if these were blocks for him, he denied it and insisted he loved to do it and that I was taking his words out of context.

    I’ve brought it up with him many times over the last two years, and over the last few months it was starting to be more frequent. However, the last month it stopped happening again. I asked him about if it isn’t something he enjoys, and he vehemently denied it again and said that he loves to. I pushed back a little bit and he then admitted that the last time I had a bit more hair, and that had turned him off a bit but it was something he needed to work on getting over.

    I feel a bit frustrated. It makes me feel like I’m continually having to ask for the same thing (or even police why it’s not happening) yet he insists he loves to do it and that there are no blocks for him. It is a big deal for me (one of the only aspects of gardening I enjoy) but I also don’t want to have to keep asking for it or monitoring whether or not it’s happening. Not sure how to communicate about it since I’ve tried and he insists there are no blocks for him.

    1. It’s not that he doesn’t understand what you want. It’s that, despite what he’s saying, he doesn’t want to do it. So you need to decide whether this is a dealbreaker or a price of admission you’re willing to pay. (Me personally, I wouldn’t stay with somebody who had to “work on getting over” something about my body.)

    2. I agree with Senior Attorney. He fully understands what you want, is not going to do it, and will not communicate why. My guess is that he doesn’t enjoy it, and is not willing to set that lack of enjoyment aside for your benefit.

    3. He’s telling you what you want to hear, but actions speak louder than words – he doesn’t like doing it. You’re not going to magically coax him into perpetual enthusiasm if only you try… X or Y or Z. Sorry :(

    5. Why don’t you just tell him to do it during gardening? I am a big fan of straightforward communication and direction during s3×, both giving and receiving.

      1. Ooh, that’s a cool idea. How do you usually go about doing this?

        I guess I worry a bit about if I’m continually having to ask for it each time, I’m sort of forcing / policing him into to doing it. I think in my head, like other’s have pointed out, “if he wanted to, he would.” I guess in my mind it takes a bit of the spark out of it to be enforcing whether or not it happens each time.

    6. Ugh, thanks guys. This was what I was worried about, but he denies it every time I try to bring it up. I guess I’m confused by the endgame of like… lying about enjoying it if you don’t and then just not doing it? Feel a bit disoriented by the whole thing.

      1. Well the endgame was continuing to date you without going down, and it worked two whole years!

        Like Cat said, actions speak louder than words. Take that to heart in all your relationships, romantic or otherwise.

        2. Agree with No Face. I can imagine his version of this discussion: “How’s the girlfriend?” “She’s great! She complains because I don’t like to go down on her, but I just make excuses and mostly I don’t have to do it. So I figure the complaining is a small price to pay!” Ouch.

    7. If a partner enjoys a s*xual activity, you will know it. The activity will be on the menu, approached with excitement and enthusiasm. Sorry, but he’s just not into it, and he is intentionally misleading you when you discuss it. He might wish he liked this, but he does not, and he has porn-watching baseline about women and the hair on their bodies. It already sounds as if this has taken a toll on your confidence

    8. When I love doing something,I initiate the thing often, show enjoyment while doing the thing, and also generally talk about the thing. The words don’t match the actions here. I agree with Senior Attorney that this might be part of your BF’s package deal but it wouldn’t work for me. I am speaking from experience here, as a previous partner clearly didn’t enjoy it and it made me feel bad about myself (note: that was the first time I’ve experienced lack of enjoyment). Note I say previous.

  13. Are you single women back to dating? I am but I keep running into Covid. I had a BF through 2020 and 2021 and held off during the winter surge mostly because of heartache but also because of Covid. Now I want to be out there but it suddenly feels risky again and rapid tests on the day or useless. What are you doing?

    2. I have been dating since shots were out and effective, so yes. I had covid pre vaccines, long covid lung issues, and am vax’d and boosted x 1 now. It’s been perfectly fine for me, but you sound more cautious than I am so of course do what you are comfortable with!

      1. I was not cautious and then caught the virus on a date and it was bad for me and then I had another date and he had the virus the next day and then I had another guy cancel on me because he is sick and now it’s been long enough that I theoretically might catch it again. I’m living but something about the dating part is taunting me.

  14. Does anyone have a recommendation for a probiotic that helped with constant stomach bloat?

  15. Ugh, thanks guys. This was what I was worried about, but he denies it every time I try to bring it up. I guess I’m confused by the endgame of like… lying about enjoying it if you don’t and then just not doing it? Feel a bit disoriented by the whole thing.

    1. I certainly would not be going down on a man who won’t return the favor and I hope you are not. I’d also be looking for a new partner.

      Sorry this happened to you. It’s time to move on, because this is important you, and you’re never going to get what you want from this guy.

    2. Break up with him. This is important to you, and he doesn’t like it.

      Men who enjoy going downtown go downtown, stay downtown until all the bars close, and then tell you every night in the cab home that downtown is their favorite place on the planet to spend time.

      1. Thank you for taking this metaphor to its logical conclusion. And I agree with the DTMFA advice.

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